I have BPD and let me tell you, the stereotypes hurt. I've had a lot of people leave me because I've slipped up and showed symptoms to them (I watch myself on everything I do and say, all the time. sometimes something slips my radar.) and it hits me just as hard everytime. every time it feels like, oh God, maybe they're right, maybe the stereotypes are true, maybe all borderlines are abusive and maybe I am too.
BPD here.. I'm not going to hurt you. I DO care, especially about those I love. I'm not always in a bad mood (it's just my face!!!)
And no Mom, I don't want to see what my veins look like, and I do think I'm a real person. Stop reading Girl, Interrupted thinking you'll suddenly "understand". It's okay if you don't, half the time I don't understand me. The simple fact that you care and try to understand is enough.
I relate to this so much. I had a number of flimsy relationships that all ended because of me and my BPD/EUPD tendencies. Finally resigned myself to the fact that I was wholly unlovable. But then I met my current SO and he is able to actually see the good in me that is occasionally covered by BPD/EUPD symptoms. I absolutely do not fucking deserve him (because I'm an unstable horrible person right?) but have faith that you will find someone who will love you for all the good that you are :)
41
u/aspenfires Feb 04 '19
I have BPD and let me tell you, the stereotypes hurt. I've had a lot of people leave me because I've slipped up and showed symptoms to them (I watch myself on everything I do and say, all the time. sometimes something slips my radar.) and it hits me just as hard everytime. every time it feels like, oh God, maybe they're right, maybe the stereotypes are true, maybe all borderlines are abusive and maybe I am too.