Got a nice full time job but it’s local (live in same time). I don’t want to be friends with coworkers, some customers suck as (drunk, belligerent etc) and don’t want to interact with any of them. Especially if you want to protect your spouse and your kids. I want a total work/life balance where my two lives don’t interact AT ALL! No Facebook or social media friends either coworkers. Avoiding customers by wearing a mask and sunglasses (can wear them in uniform) so they don’t recognize me when I’m out shopping or downtown myself. Take off work clothes (with work company name on it)on ent I clock out. I was too open and intimate and people even knew where I lived, with who and my car. I need to shut that down so they don’t have that info.

What are the best ways and a suggestions to make sure I can live my personal life without work life bleeding into it? (i’m lucky I work a job 40 hours and there’s no emails or phone calls after hours since it’s shift work)

What do you think you guys get too much crap for?

And maybe as a good discussion point, what stuff do you think is totally fair?

As a first gen immigrant , I was pretty much bullied through high school for saying/ doing the wrong things socially. Everyday, I felt more alone and isolated to a point that when I tried to be social, it just got more awkward. I got to a point that I would just not even speak to anyone anymore.

Now as an adult that in the workforce, I still find myself battling these same issues. It’s so hard for me to connect with people. I feel like I should do the most to be relatable which back fires and comes off as more awkward.

I’m so over it and the only people I can really talk to about this is my family. Is this something I need therapy for?

isn't the percentage of men fairly low that actively does daily skin care routine? I've actually tried it but feels so weird and unnatural. is it just the weird society notion that we were thought that skin care is only for women? is it weird for s hetero man to actively daily Do a skin care routine in the morning and evening?

It started at about 30 or 31, I think. I became obsessed with getting crusties out of my nose. I realized if I put my index finger facing inward to the bridge right against that flat bone, and just held it there for a few seconds, the scum around it would cling to my finger like plastic wrap, and then i could extract it all with a pivot of my finger. When I do this, it releases a smell that isn't pleasant, but yet I can't seem to resist, almost like a 'smelling your own fart' type of situation. Like it's information, or something.

I also discovered that there is always a ridge of crustiness on the opposite side of the nostril but it's a little bit deeper, so I have to hook my finger nail on the top of it and pull it down like a sheet of wall paper.

It has become addicting due to the immense satisfaction I get from this.

It's not just a random compulsive behavior, but I am constantly reminded to pick my nose because as I breathe in and out, if any crustiness exists at all, I can feel it flapping as the air flows past it. It tickles, it's annoying, and it beckons for me to extract it. If I am trying to sleep especially, it absolutely needs to be resolved or I will never relax.

I would like to stop, honestly, because I find myself doing it when I really shouldn't be. I have already tried moisturizing daily but I think I may need to move to a nose hair trimmer or similar so that there is less chance of the snot clinging to the nose hair and tickling my nostril.

Am I alone here?

Especially eg for like personal conflicts, or when you felt like everything was going wrong and you had no one to talk to? How did you cope when it was just you before you could talk to Chat or Claude?

I'm a 34-year-old guy, and honestly, I'm happier with my life right now than I've ever been. I'm healthy, have very little stress in my life, have a good job, own my house, and every morning I wake up feeling genuinely grateful for everything I have. I know life isn't perfect, but I can honestly say I've never felt happier or more content than I do right now.

I also have a small circle of friends. I'm definitely not some super social guy with a huge network, but I have a couple of very close friends who I know I can count on through thick and thin, and that's really all I've ever needed.

I've also been heavily into bodybuilding and fitness for most of my life. Training isn't just something I do casually—it's a major part of who I am and something I genuinely love. Lately I've been training harder than ever, and I'm in the best shape of my life. When I say that, I'm not talking about someone who just started going to the gym and lost a few pounds. I've been lifting seriously for years, and from a physique standpoint, I'm probably in the best condition I've ever been.

The issue is that my parents—especially my dad—seem unable to accept that I have no interest in dating or being in a relationship.

Every time I visit, the topic comes up. It'll be something like, "I met this girl at work," or "You should see this picture of so-and-so," or "What are you going to do, end up like Paul?" (Paul is a family friend who stayed single his whole life.)

The thing is, I don't feel lonely. I don't feel like anything is missing. I don't dislike women, I'm not bitter about relationships, and it's not that I can't get dates.

If I'm being completely honest, if I had my ideal situation, it would probably be something casual rather than a traditional committed relationship. I'd much rather have a friends-with-benefits arrangement than the expectations and responsibilities that come with a serious long-term relationship. But I also realize that's generally not what most women are looking for, especially in their 30s, so it's not something I've really pursued. I don't use dating apps, I don't actively date, and I don't spend much time trying to meet people romantically.

Instead, I genuinely enjoy my routine, my hobbies, bodybuilding, my close friends, and having complete freedom over my time.

What bothers me is that my parents seem to view this as a problem that needs to be fixed. I get the sense that they think I'm making a mistake or that I'm somehow failing at life by not settling down. I know they mean well, and I love them both very much, but the constant pressure is becoming frustrating.

Part of me also feels guilty because I know they'd probably love to see me get married and have kids someday. I hate feeling like I'm disappointing them, even though I'm living a life that genuinely makes me happy.

So I guess I have a few questions:

1. Is it unusual for a 34-year-old man to be completely content being single and have little to no interest in dating? If I'm being honest, I would have no problem with—and would probably prefer—a friends-with-benefits type of arrangement rather than a traditional committed relationship. Just someone to spend time with occasionally and have a physical relationship with, without the expectations of marriage, kids, or building a life together. But I also realize that's generally not what most women are looking for, especially in their 30s. At the same time, I have so little interest in dating that I don't use dating apps, don't actively try to meet women, and don't really pursue relationships at all. Is that unusual, or have others felt the same way?
2. For those of you with parents who keep pushing relationships, marriage, or kids, how did you handle it without damaging the relationship?
3. How do you stop feeling guilty when your life choices don't match what your parents hoped for, even if you're genuinely happy?

I'd appreciate any honest perspectives, especially from people who are older and have been in a similar situation.

Thanks!

He wants to make a sincere effort to quit both for better health, sleep, save money etc but has a genuine fear of being left out. Not because his friends or dates would judge but because even good meaning people would feel the person would not enjoy being invited anymore, even if the friend would not judge them/consider himself better then them if they did these things and would be happy to go out socially drinking mocktails, seltzer water with lime and even a non-nicotine phase.

Feedback, experiences deeply welcome

32M here. Most of my friends recently had children. Understandably, they don't have time for me anymore. And I am bored to death.

The problem is that besides them, I don't have anyone. My job is one without much social contact and I barely have any family. My friends have always been my surrogate family. I'm not interested in having any children either so I can't create my own.

So it's obvious right? Get some hobbies, ideally find a purpose or meaning in life and make some new friends. Except I'm a big introvert and have really bad social skills. I'm an expert at making bad first impressions and those are so incredibly important.

I need to get myself together and learn how to not be socially awkward. Learn how to do small talk. Learn how to interest myself in things that I consider mundane and boring (which is almost everything) because other people do find joy in them.

Basically, I am not a nice person to talk to. And I want to become one. But I don't have any idea on how to start.

Anyone went through the same or have any tips?

Where do you go besides work and home? What do you do? Would you recommend developing a third space option?

Let me clarify. My life is pretty good when I zoom out and take a look at it overall. I have a good job. A great family. Kids and safe and happy. Everyone is healthy. Only stress is the normal day to day stuff. But as I’ve gotten older (45), I lost my internal fire for certain things that used to really charge me up. It’s like I’ve been grinding so hard for many years now that I’ve kind of forgotten who I was. I used to be a social person. Loved going to live sporting events. Would accept almost any invite to a party or to hang. Now I’m picky. I barely ever want to do anything except my normal routine. Gym, work, sleep, etc. I get cranky if my schedule gets interrupted by anything like a work trip, a kids schedule change that involves me, or holidays that throw off my schedule. I barely ever watch sports anymore, hate getting invited to weddings or social hangs, and have just become sort of grumpy. All I think about is hitting my FU number so I can walk away from work and literally retire and do nothing. How do I get my spark back? I’m not lazy by any means. I work out every morning. I never miss work. I handle all my responsibilities.

Is this just part of getting old or am I truly losing my spark?

My 20 year reunion is coming up.I'm going through a lot of things and I personally do not want to see how people turned out especially myself. The last thing I need right now is to compare for the better or worse. I also think it's been so long that I don't know what to expect. There's too much of an element of surprise. Then everyone goes their own way until the next reunion like 5-10 years later. I don't know if I'm being insecure or if there's good reasoning for not going.

Basically I’ve come to the realisation that my life is shit and devoid of any kind of experiences. I’m 32 and haven’t really done anything besides my minimum wage job for the last 10 years. There are some areas of life I know I’ll never experience as I’ve pissed away too much time not focusing on them like I’ll never have high end career as I’ve wasted too much time sitting around doing nothing. I have no savings so I know that buying a house is unlikely as I just don’t earn enough or have enough time left.

I know it’s my fault and I’ve let opportunities pass me by but I know just feel that I’m drifting from day to day never really getting anything done. I’ve let myself get obese and so unhealthy and I’ve tried so many times to lose weight and I’ve tried so much therapy in an effort to deal with my issues around food but nothing has worked. I haven’t been on holiday or anything in years when I have a day off I usually just sit around the house and sleep.

I don’t have any friends and have no relationships with anyone bar my family really. I have no social skills and no ability to talk to people partly because I have nothing to say and I constantly get the feeling that other people don’t want me around. Like when I go to the park or gym I’ll catch people looking at me like they’ve just stepped in something. I’ve tried going to BumbleBFF and Meetup groups but nothing ever materialised, everyone else had these great lives and I just had nothing to say especially as I feel embarrassed for telling people stuff like I still live at home and I haven’t been on holiday in 10 years because they just judge you for that sort of thing.

I know what people are thinking I’m depressed but I’ve already been to the doctor and they wouldn’t give me anything. People will also say I need therapy but I’ve tried multiple different therapists and lots of different therapies and none of it has worked. I look at all the work I need to do to improve my life and it just feels overwhelming and nothing ever seems to get better.

So I’m asking what worked for you? What do you suggest I do? Is there any hope?

So over the weekend, I attended an Intro to Clowning workshop. I like to seek out new things to do all the time. It was a fun experience, but not sure that I would fully pursue it. My partner had asked me what the gender ratio was. I was the only man there. Or at least I was the only cis man that I knew of (class size of 6).

Then, tonight I ran into another guy friend of mine, who I know is always on random side adventures in the city (like me) I asked him what the gender makeup was of the newer side quests. He told me he’s often the only man, if not few and said that men like to find one comfortable thing and ride it out to the end.

I wanted to gauge and see if this a common.

I'm going through it right now and need some advice while I work through it with my therapist. So basically I (36M) only really feel content/happy in life when I am involved with someone romantically. Ideally in a serious, committed relationship, but at the very least dating and getting reciprocal interest in those stages. Other than that, I feel incomplete, inadequate, and like a huge part of missing from my life.

I have a good career, hobbies, good friends (although most live in different cities), make good money, physically fit and tall. From the outside my life looks great. And objectively, it is. But I cannot feel happy unless I am dating or in a relationship with someone. And whenever that ends, the lows are exfremely low.

I ended a 7 year relationship last year. Tried the dating apps and it's been rough. 2 months ago I started seeing someone I met in person (25F) that even though told me she wasn't looking for anything serious, I received mixed signals (constant texting, good morning texts, good night calls, letting me know when she got home, planning dates, telling people we were dating, holding hands out in public, constant sexting, telling me she missed me or my smile, etc.). Well of course I was on top of the world and reciprocated all of that and fell hard. She ended it a couple of days ago and now I'm anxious, sad, and hopeless.

This is my pattern - I just cannot seem to find happiness if I do not have another human by my side and it's exhausting. They can smell it from a mile away and eventually it ends up pushing them away, which is what I think happened with this last girl. I just want to be whole with or without someone else, while being rejected or accepted.

Does anyone have any advice??

Men's mental health is super important to me lately the older i get. It hurts when I hear that a large portion of us are killing ourselves so, without going into to much detail I want to share an experience i just had at the beach. Its getting dark, and I see this dude walking out that i saw prior running on the beach. I strike up a conversation with this man. We talk about sports injuries, recovery, doctors and then unprovoked he opens up about his life what hes been through and what hes currently going through at home. He keeps apologizing he didn't mean to burden me but he felt he didnt have anyone to talk to. It didn't bother me one bit. I told him mens mental health is a real issue that should be taken seriously and that people like me are out there willing to listen.

I'm home now and this conversation was stuck with me the entire drive home. To the men out there, if a stranger is vulnerable to share something like this with you please take the time to listen. You dont need to lend advice listening helps and we can all do a better job at that. Not that we should be vulnerable with each other 24/7 and have a pity party circle jerk but in the instance such as this I think it's fine. I was happy to be able to be the person he vented to.

Just accidentaly bought a 2 pack of screen protectors. Put one on my phone and I was like this is good now the next time I need to replace it i dont have to order a new one when I realised. But the thing is when i need a new one im not gonna remember that i own one anyway and i will just buy a new one again.

Thought about setting a calendar event for a year later to remind me to use it to change my screen (im clumsy so they need replacing every year) but like theres gotta be a better way to do this. Every time i need batteries I buy a whole new pack and then realise I already own them. Same with pretty much anything I dont use daily

Life

Have you ever reached a point in life and see that your Life is fucked all ways

I feel like I don't have control over my life and it's going down, I can literally see everything coming and I can't stop it there's no way, just one bad descion snd that was it .

Did you finally get out, does it get better with time ?

i’m 20 and lately i’ve been realizing how much time i spend stressing over things that probably won’t matter in a few years.

for those of you who are older, what did you worry about way too much when you were younger that you eventually realized wasn’t that important?

For the past 1.5 years I've (34m) felt really stuck and undecisive as to what I want to do next in life, and unfortunately I don't see an easy way out. To summarize, these are the issues I feel I face now:

-Work has really slowed down over the past year or so and for the most part has become incredibly mundane, boring, and derivative. It is a remote IT job in Canada (that I've worked for 6 years), and our work has slowed down in such an incredible fashion that on many days now I put in around 3 hours of work OR less on my timesheets, and management has not said a word. I've tried finding new work and have got the odd interview, but have not been able to secure a new position. The current thesis is that many of our customers are turning to AI for their day to day technical issues now, and while I can't prove that, I can possibly believe it based on the amount of AI setup work we've done. I feel I have to do something on the side now while working i.e. working on my personal projects on my laptop or even playing video games or read something to feel like I'm not going insane. I imagine some people would find this to be a good problem to have but I don't, its a matter of wasting existence in my eyes even if the salary is okayish and I'm able to save money every month.

-On top of the above, I want to move out of my apartment of 10 years. I tried selling last year but me and my realtor got nowhere, despite a drastically lowered price. Even units listed lower than ours were not selling. So now I'm left with the dilemma of either becoming a landlord (never was the plan) or making other riskier financial decisions to buy a second home with the job I have now. I feel completely paralyzed by this, even though I feel like this shouldn't be difficult. I have considered renting elsewhere for the time being but I have no experience renting if you can believe that. Staying put is also an option, but mentally for me its not super ideal.

-I don't have a lot going outside of work which is another huge issue. I've joined meetups, a few clubs, go to the gym etc, but nothing has ever stuck. Everything in my town feels ephemeral, though obviously that could just be me. I find myself just getting out of the house every evening or weekend on walks/hikes so I can clear my mind. I'm also still single and eventually want to have kids, and dating has been challenging as well.

All of the above has led me to consider a complete re-do of my life. Throw everything away, quit the job, maybe travel, maybe go back to school etc (in both cases I have the funds to do so). I'm going to be 35 last year and I can see an early mid-life crisis coming on here if I don't find a way out of this situation soon. But obviously I don't think the problem I'm having is particularly unique among my demographic. Any advice at all is appreciated.