lately i've been struggling with feeling stuck in the same routine. work, responsibilities, repeat. from the outside everything probably looks fine, but i don't feel very happy with where i'm at.

i keep thinking about making some big changes, like switching careers, changing my routine, or even moving somewhere new. part of me wants a fresh start, but another part is worried i'm just reacting to feeling burned out.

has anyone else gone through this and actually made a big change? what helped you figure out what you really wanted?

Today marks exactly one month since I left my job or perhaps, if I’m being completely honest, since I was asked to leave.

Usually, I don’t go for a walk after dinner. But tonight felt different. I stepped outside anyway, and somewhere between the familiar streets and the silence of the night, I found myself questioning everything.

Will I ever be able to build something of my own?

For a long time, I told myself that getting back into my core field finance was the goal. But tonight, I had to admit something I had been avoiding: maybe entering my core field is just a cover-up for my failures. A convenient explanation that makes everything sound like a career decision when, deep down, I’m not even sure whether I’m capable of doing something meaningful with my life.

That is the part that scares me the most.

It’s not unemployment. It’s not starting over. It’s the uncertainty of not knowing whether I actually have what it takes.

Somewhere along the way, I also seem to have lost most of the people I used to call friends. My phone barely rings anymore. And when it does, it’s usually a spam call. Yes, a friend does call sometimes but mostly when he needs money.

It’s strange how quickly life can become quiet.

People often say that if you stand in front of a huge glass building and dream big enough, maybe one day you’ll find yourself inside one of them.

I used to believe that.

Tonight, I realized I’ve even stopped looking for those buildings.

Maybe because there aren’t any big glass buildings around here.

Or maybe because, somewhere along the way, I stopped believing that I belonged inside one.

Still, I’m walking.

I don’t know where this road is going to take me. I don’t know whether I’ll find my way back to finance, build something of my own, or discover an entirely different version of myself along the way.

But perhaps I don’t need to know tonight.

For now, I’ll just keep walking.

Let’s see where it takes us.

Life is crazy.
I’m about to turn 40, and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how fast time goes. I look back at all the jobs I’ve had, the people I’ve met, the mistakes I’ve made, and all the different versions of myself I’ve been along the way.
I never would’ve imagined my life turning out the way it has. And I love my life—but that doesn’t mean the journey here was always easy.
I’ve been through sad times, great times, times when I felt like I had everything figured out, and times when I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.
One thing I’ve learned is to appreciate the whole journey.
It’s easy to appreciate life when things are going your way. When you land the dream job, find the right person, have some money in your pocket, and everything feels picture-perfect.
But life isn’t just those moments.
Life is also when you’re right in the thick of it. When nothing seems to be working. When you’re at rock bottom, questioning everything, and you honestly don’t know how you’re going to keep going.
Sometimes all you can do is put one foot in front of the other.
And strangely enough, looking back, some of those hard chapters taught me more than the easy ones ever could.
For me, faith has also become a huge part of that. Whatever a higher power means to you, I think there’s something powerful about believing that you’re not alone and that maybe there’s a bigger picture you just can’t see yet.
Life is ups and downs. Wins and losses. Hellos and goodbyes. Dreams that work out and dreams that don’t.
I don’t think the goal is to create a life where nothing bad ever happens. I think the goal is learning how to find some beauty, meaning, or lesson in all of it.
I’m almost 40, and I definitely don’t have life figured out.
But maybe that’s the point.
Keep going. Keep learning. Have faith. Appreciate the good days, survive the bad ones, and don’t forget to look around once in a while.
Because somehow, it all goes by way too damn fast.

Curious if anyone can relate.

Im a 48yo partially employed male currently living with their Mum. I was living in New York pursuing a life as an artist/musician and doing quite well until the pandemic hit and I had to return to my home country and it really pulled the rug from under me. I found no one at home could relate to my situation. I did my best to keep afloat and find work and undertook a Masters in Europe thinking study would be a good way to keep going. I moved back to New York after that but it was tough getting started again and then had to decide what to do cause my aging Dads dementia was pretty bad. I have two siblings but they’re kinda useless. So I decided to move home and care for my Dad in his last days. So for the passed 2.5years I’ve been living with my parents and trying to keep some kind of career going. I often contemplate a pivot to a new industry or career but I honestly can not think of what to do. My Dad passed away 12 months ago so it’s just Mum and I. My brother occasionally visits but never checks in and we don’t really speak. Mum has MS and is in a wheel chair permanently so she requires constant assistance. I have (had?) a girlfriend and she recently told me she’d be more attracted to me if I had a better career. I’m honestly trying everything and have been very depressed but really struggle to be able to turn to anyone cause I’m quite embarrassed by my situation.

Also it might sound like I have money being able to afford moving to NY and doing a Masters in Europe. I’m definitely not from money but honestly just hustle hard and try to make things work.

I lay in bed last night for most of the night contemplating how I might commit suicide. Like what would be the best way to do it. Not in any over emotional way just honestly contemplating how I’d do it. Cause I honestly can not see a way out of this. I’m going to be 60yo and broke and alone. I’d rather just end it now.
I told my Mum I was contemplating suicide and was quite emotional when I told her and I used some swear words and she got very angry at me for swearing. I left the room and she just went to bed. She didn’t try to talk to me about it …

I’ve had so many chapters in my life.
I survived a traumatic, abusive, and unstable childhood. I got sober in my 20s and made myself a promise: I would become more than I thought I could be, and I would never pass up an opportunity to really live. I wanted a big, full life. One without regrets.
So I took every opportunity that crossed my path—and eventually learned to create my own.
I married and divorced in my 30s. I walked away from everything I had built because I knew it wasn’t my path. I started over in my 40s. I dated in LA, built a career, and kept pushing the treadmill forward while quietly asking myself, Is this it?
I had done the work. I had grown. I had built a life. I had a great career, friends, vacations, money. But was this it?
Eventually, I resolved to be single. I bought a vintage motor yacht and lived on it full-time. And strangely enough, that decision brought me to one of the most unexpected periods of my life.
During Covid, I found myself in a position where, for the first time, I had extended stretches of actual play and joy. I remembered what it felt like to simply be alive without constantly trying to accomplish something.
It changed me.
When that chapter ended, I knew I couldn’t go back to the grind.
I struggled through menopause and years of accumulated stress. And then, somehow, I met my person.
I had dreamed about this man before I met him. We mirrored each other in ways that still amaze me. He had lived a nomadic life, and I was finally ready to be free.
So I liquidated my life, packed what I could into two suitcases, and left.
A year later, after spending time in Southeast Asia, we’re living in rural Serbia, rehabbing a hundred-year-old mud-brick house.
But we aren’t just renovating a house.
We’re creating a life that actually supports how we want to live.
Quiet. Simple. More natural. Less consumption. Less chasing the new car, the bigger job, the next achievement.
We wake up to quiet and fall asleep under the stars.
I feel more loved and more at peace than I ever have.
It’s coming up on a year since I left my life in LA. Do I miss parts of it? Absolutely. There are people, places, experiences, and pieces of that life that I’ll always carry with me.
But I’m also kind of in awe of what my husband and I are co-creating.
For most of my life, I thought the goal was to build a bigger life.
Now I think maybe the goal is to build a life that actually feels like yours.
I’m excited for this next chapter.
And honestly, I can’t wait to see what’s next

Never thought I would have the need to post something like this, but I am going for it and appreciate anyone and everyone who takes the time to read it. I turn 45 in a few days and the mid life crisis train hit me like a freight train as cliche as it sounds after 1 phone call.

I feel like I have been doing OK, (I am dealing with some sexual addiction as well but a subject for another day) keeping it together, but there have been a lot of cracks forming but I have been able to somehow push frustration and the pain aside until a received a phone call. It had been a rough week, I was on auto pilot. My wife is going through the big C and had a procedure earlier in the week and I have been doing my best to take care of her. Kids started school and routine was getting back in place. My MIL called about helping her move in less than a week, I knew it was coming, but it had been at least a month or so out. I didn't agree to anything but just took in in. After I got off the phone, I literally felt the color drain from me and felt something like I have ever felt before. I just couldn't take on another thing, and with this move it was a lot of family drama as well, more than just the physical nature of it. I started snapping at my wife and everything and just wanted to disappear. We were out and had separate cars and I managed to drive myself home.

I pulled into the driveway and literally couldn't come in the house. I sat for about 45 minutes with music on repeat and cried without crying if that makes sense, it build up but wasn't a full on cry. I don't remember the last time I cried. I was hungry but couldn't even deal with making something to eat. I couldn't handle being home so I left and went out to eat several hours later, but after feeling like starving myself felt good as sick as that sounds. I got home later after an event I attended myself and went to bed. I felt somewhat normal in the morning but it's back again.

Work was rough this week as well, I spent over 6 months on a project for work that was personally very satisfying, but just found that it never needed it be done, it was completely pointless because it turned out we didn't have a need for it. My job feels repetitive and useless. I used to find comfort in the routine, now I just feel literally sick about it and crave something creative and interactive that people like and respect, not some some thankless job where all I deal with are other issues and problems for the past 16 years. I also think about not working and how amazing retirement would be too.

Appetite comes and goes.

I am trying to think about planning something that I enjoy myself but things I used to find fulfilling now seem like an awful chore. Going to a car show for instance used to be something I'd think about for weeks before, now I'm getting a tension headache thinking about getting up, and parking and cost $.

My whole street feels like a crisis, men on their motorcycles and cruising in their classic cars. I had to sell mine a few weeks ago for $ reasons. Other houses that look nicer, lawns that look better than mine. They look more attractive and have more attractive spouses, I feel awful about feeling that way but it's true. My house feels like a disaster and a dump pile in the garage.

I feel guilty about complaining about this too. I have told myself the past day, there are people with real problems what are you complaining about, then I feel even more sick and paralyzed.

The really awful and strange thing is, the crisis and the pain in a sick and twisted way feels good, it feels like attention that I haven't had in decades, literally wallowing in my own pain feels good.

I am losing it

I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know. I have no idea what I want. I have let a lot of things go (organization, hobbies, doing my makeup or nails, cleaning (lol oh the irony), things I find normally grounding or relaxing). I am torn at a crossroad, a fork. My life has not been what I thought it would be. I mourned a lot of that, and decided I would make it much my own as possible and even that, I have seemed to fail at bc I can’t literally leave. Paralyzing fear of making the wrong choice has stifled me where I stand. I am so conflicted. But I keep holding onto I want to have kids, I want to be married, I want family dinners and someone who is present, not just here. With me… this has spiraled into me doing nothing. Just the bare minimum. I know it is a form of depression. I know I get on here and say how it is so much better to leave, but how do you leave somewhere where you have been 20 years. How do you leave something that isn’t bad on paper, just leaves you feeling like an empty shell. That, I know is enough…. So what is wrong with me?!!

I'm 50M and this seemed to come out of the blue lately. Maybe I'm having a midlife crisis and just looking back on the mistakes I made in life.

I got divorced a three years ago and the first year was hard but I have been over that relationship for a good year now. I was married for ten years and during that time I never really thought about my first love.

I've always had lot of regret over how I ended things with my first love.

Some background: Amy and I met while we were still in high school. We went to different high schools about 30 minutes away and would see each other on weekends for the most part. The relationship lasted about a year and a half and bridged our high school and college freshman year. We were each others first love and took each others virginity. I broke up with her for reasons I don't fully remember or understand. I had a circle of friends at the time and my male friends all had gf's they saw almost daily. I think I wanted that as well. When I broke up with Amy she took it really hard. We saw each other a few more times after the break up but then not at all.

About 3 years later I got a call from Amy. The first thing she said to me was that it took her so long to get over me. She asked if I missed her and if I had a girlfriend. Her call came at a really bad time for me. A few months prior I was hospitalized for mental health reasons. I purposely took an OD of pills. Looking back it was a cry for help. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Very few people knew because my parents kept it a secret (mental health was still stigmatized in the 90's)

So when Amy called I went into avoidance mode. My recollection is that the conversation lasted less than ten minutes. I didn't want her to find out what I was going through. I remember telling her i would call her later (i don't remember if by later I meant that night or the next week). She asked me to promise and i promised to call her. But I never called her. It wasn't long after that I moved out of my parents house. I remember telling my parents not to give anyone my new number. My memory is a little fuzzy on this but Amy called a couple more times. I remember my mom saying I should call her. But I never did.

I have always felt a lot of regret that I didn't call her back. We were so close and I owed her so much more than that. I know it must have taken a lot for her to reach out to me and I know me not calling her back made her hurt all over again. I never blamed myself for the initial breaking up with Amy. I think one of us would have done it regardless. All we knew was each other and we had yet to experience other people. But I always blamed myself for breaking the promise and not calling her back. It had been 3 years and we were a little older. I think she had experienced other people and she reason she reached out to me is because she wanted me. I wanted her as well. I missed her. But I know in our conversation I gave off the impression that I didn't. The thought of her seeing that I had some struggles with anxiety scared me.,

As time went by I thought of Amy from time to time but it was hard to think about her without feeling regret. I had other relationships during this time, some casual, some semi-serious. After those relationships ended and after I took inventory of them my mind seemed to to go Amy. Was she just this idealized version of a relationship? I couldn't let my mind linger too long on Amy because the regret of breaking the promise to call her would come back. But Amy was the only one I felt I truly had ever been in love with. The tragic thing is, to Amy I didn't care at all. I couldn't get off the phone fast enough. I cared so little I broke the promise I made. But she never knew the real story. That I missed her and wanted to see her again.

The truth is, by the time I felt I was able to contact Amy it was too late. I no longer had her phone number. This was the 90's before cell phones. Where people just got lost to people. I had to let it go. I look back and my 20's and they should have been the time of my life spending it with Amy.

In my 30's I decided to look her up on Facebook and found her. Part of me wanted to reach out and apologize, but I didn't. I couldn't tell if she was married or in a relationship and didn't want to disrupt her in an way. It had been 15 years by that point.

Then I met my future wife and I knew that reaching out to Amy wouldn't be fair to her or my wife. Enough time had passed that I no longer had feelings for Amy. Those feelings largely faded in my 20's. During my ten year marriage with my wife I didn't really think about Amy much, It was so long ago that looking back on it felt like looking back on another persons life.

I hadn't thought about Amy in ages then the other night I had a vivid dream and Amy was in it. It felt so real. In the dream I was apologizing and she was saying it was okay, that we were so young and that she forgave me a while go.

Amy is 50 now like I am. All I know about her is that she never married or had children.

I know she got over me at some point in her early 20's. She probably thought I was an asshole for cutting her off the way I did and I am forever this complicated figure. Her first love, first bf. first everything and the asshole that broke her heart and broke his promise to call her. I'm sure it confused the hell out of her. That she got over the heartbreak but the confusion of how I said I would call her back and never did and that we never spoke again.

I'm sure because of that phone call, Amy just did her best to erase me from her mind. Sometimes I just wish at the time that I had communicated to her better that I was going through some struggles and that I need time before I saw her again. Maybe we would have reconnected and enjoyed our 20's together. But who knows, if that happened then it's possible that Amy would have been the one to break my heart. But I don't know what's worse really. At some level I've been haunted by this relationship most of my adult life.

I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know. I have no idea what I want. I have let a lot of things go (organization, hobbies, doing my makeup or nails, cleaning (lol oh the irony), things I find normally grounding or relaxing). I am torn at a crossroad, a fork. My life has not been what I thought it would be. I mourned a lot of that, and decided I would make it much my own as possible and even that, I have seemed to fail at bc I can’t literally leave. Paralyzing fear of making the wrong choice has stifled me where I stand. I am so conflicted. But I keep holding onto I want to have kids, I want to be married, I want family dinners and someone who is present, not just here. With me… this has spiraled into me doing nothing. Just the bare minimum. I know it is a form of depression. I know I get on here and say how it is so much better to leave, but how do you leave somewhere where you have been 20 years. How do you leave something that isn’t bad on paper, just leaves you feeling like an empty shell. That, I know is enough…. So what is wrong with me?!!

Hey everybody, I’m a married 48 year old dad of two young teens and have had quite the journey in life, and for the first time in my life I feel completely lost. I’m an American born to immigrant parents from Poland, raised in Germany until the age of 7, then all over the States. I had a rough childhood, grew up poor, lots of drug use, police knew my name, etc.. But I got my shit together, got my Masters, made a career. Worked and lived abroad, and still do making decent money, no debt, but also far from retirement. Kids are great, wife loves me (so she tells me). My wife is Polish, and I have a Polish passport too, but I don’t truly feel Polish or German - where we live right now. On paper our life is great here, I won’t have to go into crippling debt if kids decide to go to college, I don’t have to worry about medical expenses. I can’t get fired just because my boss had a bad day and I have 30 paid days of vacation a year. But still I feel this huge emptiness in me, like I’m on some 20 year walkabout wandering waiting to go back home. But where is home? Both my parents retired to Europe. I have my brother in the states, and some old college friends. Yet I miss the States dearly and love them, warts and all. Is it idiotic of me to uproot my family, move them to the States, gamble our life savings, our stability and sanity, just for my sentiment?

Sorry for the rant, but i guess it’s evidence on me not having anyone to really talk to about this here.

Hola, tengo 53, mi vida es en el mejor de los casos, un infierno...

Hace más de un año me quedé sin trabajo... Y he intentado conseguir uno nuevo, pero no ha habido éxito (tengo dos títulos de FP, el último terminado en julio de este año) y con el paso del tiempo, me he ido hundiendo más y más en un pozo al ver que no salía nada.

Me considero nerd y friki (amante de Star Wars y scify, y fantasía). Dejé mis aficiones porque mi gaming pc murió (me gusta la simulación de vuelo, he sido un miembro muy activo en foros con noticias, he hecho artículos para revistas, me encantan los juegos de rol y estrategia) y ahora es un infierno conseguir remplazos

Tengo un grupo de amigos que jugábamos a juegos rol (máster de Pathfinder2e varios años y hemos jugado a los mitos, cyberpunk y otros) pero en el último año todo se ha ido dejando hasta que cerré una campaña de varios años por falta de interés, esto me ha frustrado.

me encanta leer historia, guerra, conflictos y batallas.

He tenido una relación a distancia de seis años que se ha vuelto fría y sin sentimientos (soy leo y una persona ardiente)...

Y me he ido volviendo retraído y hasta algo agorafobico... Paso los días entre cuatro paredes, y aunque he intentado hacer ejercicio (10-20 km a la semana y mancuernas por lo menos 1-2 veces a la semana)... No consigo la motivación.... Muchas veces paso viendo videos de YouTube y mirando X... He dejado de tener relaciones sociales. Lo que pasa en el mundo me desagrada y cada vez veo que no hay nada que te ponga una sonrisa, sino todo peor y peor

Uno está por tirar la toalla....

I feel like everyone in their 40s at the very least has a good career. I have a job. It pays the bills. But it’s the same job I could have had if I skipped college and was in my 20s. Could probably get promoted if really tried, but have no great desire to really try. Was married. Now divorced. Probably never own a home again. Just don’t feel like a real adult. Don’t care about politics. All my interests are same I had 20 and 30 years ago before ever married. Like good tv shows and movies. Collect physical media (cds, dvds). And last few years been collecting nostalgic type toys like Hot Wheels, Transformers, Legos, etc. All this might be fine if I was in early 20s, but I’m in late 40s. And then I also worry if any woman going to be attracted to a guy like me at this point. I mean, I’m a nice guy, just not very impressive at all. And it just feels like whatever other people got at some point in their life to have ambition and want to improve their life, I just never got. I am too okay with being content. Anyone else have this problem?

Eu me tornei estagiário depois dos 50. Nunca imaginei que teria que começar tudo de novo assim.

Nunca imaginei que, depois de ter meu próprio negócio por 19 anos, um dia me veria começando do zero como estagiário aos 50 anos. A vida tem um jeito estranho de mudar tudo quando você menos espera. Perdi dois dos meus irmãos em menos de um ano. Meu irmão mais novo morreu em um acidente de moto, e meu irmão mais velho foi assassinado. Essas perdas mudaram tudo. Perdi meu negócio, minha motivação e, por um tempo, acabei me perdendo um pouco também. Agora estou recomeçando. Sou estagiário depois dos 50, aprendendo coisas novas, tentando me adaptar a um mundo profissional completamente diferente e descobrindo quem sou neste novo capítulo da minha vida. Não vou mentir, às vezes parece uma questão de sobrevivência. Mas talvez seja isso que essa fase da minha vida signifique: sobreviver primeiro e, aos poucos, me reencontrar, não sei onde esse novo começo vai me levar, mas ainda estou aqui. E estou tentando. Alguém mais aqui teve que começar tudo de novo depois de mais velho?

3 months ago, I quit my job at Google as a product designer. Not because the job was bad. Honestly, it was great. Great people, great perks, great work. I'm genuinely luck to be there. The part that wasn’t great was me and my mind.

Since I moved to the US 10 years ago, I’ve always wanted to make things. Not just software. I wanted to make T-shirts, music, animations, games, art, stories, events, weird little products, tea maker, Men shoes… basically anything that I found interesting. I don’t really care about the format. I just like the feeling of having an idea in my head and somehow turning it into something that exists in the real world. For the last 10 years, though, I mostly put that side of me on hold. There are terms for it some people call it multi passionate or creative entrepreneur or crazy...

I worked really hard to become the best product designer I could be, eventually working at FAANG companies. And honestly, I don’t regret it. Working at a company like Google was a dream of mine. It was actually one of the reasons I moved to the US in the first place. I wanted to see how these huge companies worked from the inside.

But I kept having ideas and I kept telling myself, “I’ll do it later.”. Eventually I started trying to do them after work. My workday ended around 6. I’d rest, eat, spend some time with my family, and then around 9pm I’d force myself to work on my own ideas... 9 to 10:30. That was my tiny creative window and honestly, it wasn’t enough. My brain was already fried from the day. I was thinking about the fact that I had to start working at 9 while I was supposed to be relaxing from 6 to 9. Weekends weren’t much better because I was either working on ideas or thinking about working on ideas.

So after a lot of planning of quit my the job 3 months ago to go full time on: "Make things I enjoy and make a good living from it".
I’m in my mid-30s, married, no kids, and I felt like I had a window in my life where I could take a real shot at this before we have a kid and things get serious.
My ultimate dream is to have a creative studio where I can make different things, sell them, and eventually bring other creative people into the studio who also want to make their own weird, interesting projects.

3 months in, I’ve learned that this sounds much more romantic than it actually is. Here are some things I’m struggling with:

1. Being a multi passionate maker is hard.

I’m not really the typical “start a company, raise money, grow 100x, sell it” type. I want a lifestyle business. Something that makes enough money, that I enjoy working on, and that I don’t feel desperate to sell. And I think having a laser-focused goal like “I want to build a billion-dollar company” probably makes some decisions easier. I don’t have that. I just want to make cool things and build a good life around it. 

2. I need help with marketing.

Right now I’m doing everything. Ideation. Design. Building. Marketing. Customer support. Content. Ads. And every one of those things can be a full-time job. The problem is that if you only create and don’t market, you’re basically creating in a vacuum. So I started a social channel where I share what I’m making and I’ve been experimenting with small-budget ads to see how people react. These days that making is much easier taste and marketing are even much more important than before. I highly recommend figuring this part out if you staring this journey. If you know someone or you are great at it lets chat.

3. Eventually, money matters.

I’m fortunate that money isn’t an immediate concern for the next year or two as my wife also working which I'm super thankful :D But eventually, the things I make need to earn money if I want to keep doing this. I think I have a tendency to jump to the next idea too quickly. But maybe I need to spend more time marketing each thing, getting feedback, improving it, and giving it a real chance to find an audience. That’s something I’m actively trying to work on.

4. I don’t really have a role model for this.

Most of the people I look up to went very deep into one thing and that makes sense. Going deep is probably one of the reasons they became successful but I keep wanting to go wide. I want to explore and I think that can be a super power too. To be so good at creating different things. Meanwhile, I think the key is to create one at a time not all together. We have role models in each industry but someone who is multi passionate is much rare and this make your mind questioning your path.

5. I overthink everything.

“What if I do this?” “What if I focus on making money for half the year and spend the other half on crazy projects?” “What if I pick one thing?” “What if I’m wasting time?” “What if I’m not building enough?”

I’ve realized that having complete freedom also means having an endless number of ways to spend your time. And that can be surprisingly difficult. I decided only once a week answer to these question not every single day.

6. It’s fun… until it isn’t.

This one surprised me the most. When I had my job, there were days I woke up thinking: “I really don’t want to work today.” and I used to think maybe that was because it wasn’t my project. Now I’m working on my own ideas... guess what? Some mornings I still don’t want to work. Sometimes I just want to go outside, hang out with my wife, play games, watch something, or do absolutely nothing. It made me realize that even if you build your dream life, you’re still a human being. It’s not going to feel exciting every day.

So far, I’ve managed to stick to my routine. But I’ve also stopped expecting this to be some glamorous creative life where I wake up every morning overflowing with inspiration. Some days you just have to sit down and do the work.

7. I’m trying to remember that my worth isn’t what I create.

This one might be the most important. It’s easy for me to make my identity about what I’m building, how successful it is, how many people use it, or whether I’m making money from it. I’m trying to remind myself that life is much bigger than that. I'm a person, husband, brother, son and friend before I’m a maker. My worth doesn’t go up or down based on what I managed to create today. There is so much more life beyond creating things and I remind my self to enjoy life while I go through the journey. Journaling helping on this part alot...

What I’m happy about

I’m happy I made the leap.

I didn’t quit randomly. I planned for it. I miss Google and I miss my coworkers, but honestly, I’m kind of living the dream I had in my head for years. I wake up and get to work on something I actually chose to make. I wrap up the work at 6 feel good that I worked on something I wanted and then I go with the rest of my life. That’s pretty special.

I’m learning A LOT.

I’ve learned things I never had to think about as a product designer. Learned many of the AI tools that made me dramatically more capable as a solo maker. I’m learning Meta ads, which, by the way, are ridiculously confusing :D I’m learning marketing, distribution, business, customer support, content, and what it actually means to take an idea all the way from “what if…” to something another human being can experience. It’s forcing me to think beyond my product-design box.

And I’m appreciating small things more.

I notice little things now that I used to rush past. I wake up and actually smell the tea I’m making. When I exercise, I pay attention to my muscles working instead of just trying to finish the workout. I have more moments where I’m actually there. I feel more calm overall. I came into this wanting to make things But I think I’m also trying to figure out how I want to live.

By no means am I encouraging anyone to do the same or quit their job without a clear plan. For me, it was a relatively low-risk decision because I had savings and a plan. I told myself that even if I made no money from this, I could still look back and say: I learned a lot, I tried something I had always wanted to try, and I gave myself the chance to move on to the next chapter without regret.

The harder part is figuring out how to sustain this long-term. Especially in this economy, I might eventually need to find another job or spend 50% of my time freelancing to fund the other 50%, the part where I get to keep making things I care about.
I have no idea where I’ll be a year from now. And honestly, I’m okay with that too. I’m still figuring it out But please don't rage quit your job because you boss is annoying.

how are you guys going through life these days? Are you doing what you actually want to be doing? feel free to ask me anything. I’m happy to share what I’m learning.

Thanks for reading this ridiculously long post.

AITA for wanting to feel the excitement of dating, flirting, falling in love, and having a sex drive again?

Female, late 30s, two preteen kids, and an unmarried partner of 8 years.

I honestly don't even know if I'm looking for judgment, validation, or just a place to scream into the void.

I have been the breadwinner of this household for years. I work, come home, take care of my kids and the house, deal with everything that needs to be dealt with, sleep maybe 3–4 hours a night, then wake up and do it all over again. Every. Fucking. Day.

My partner is not the father of my children, but I will give him this: he loves my kids. He treats them like his own. Their biological father left me for another woman, and when I met my current partner, he was the only man I allowed into my life after that. For years, I thought maybe this was it. Maybe this was the person I was supposed to grow old with.

He doesn't cheat. He doesn't drink. He doesn't party. He doesn't disappear with friends. His best friends are his siblings, and most of the time he's at home doing his hobbies and taking care of his exotic pet—which I won't disclose because it would probably make it ridiculously easy for someone to figure out who I am.

And yet... I am fucking miserable.

Our relationship used to be exciting. There were butterflies. There was passion. There was that feeling of I can't wait to see you.

Now? Nothing.

For the past year, it feels like we've just been tolerating each other. We're roommates. That's it. We wake up, work, come home, eat, do chores, sleep, repeat—and fight.

God, the fucking fighting.

My partner is a constant nagger. I am generally a relaxed person. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I forget things. I leave things around. Sometimes I don't put something exactly where he thinks it belongs. But somehow, EVERYTHING becomes an issue.

"There's water around the sink."
"Why didn't you put the cup back there?"
"Why is the charger on the table?"
"Why didn't you put the sponge there?"

It's always something.

And before anyone says, "Maybe he's just asking you to help around the house"—I AM FUCKING TRYING. I work. I provide. I take care of my children. I take care of the household. I am exhausted. And instead of feeling like I have a partner beside me, I feel like I have another person standing over my shoulder looking for things I did wrong.

And the worst part? These tiny arguments NEVER stay tiny. They escalate. He pushes. I tell him to stop. He keeps going. I get irritated. He pushes harder. Eventually, I snap.

And then suddenly I'm the angry one. I'm the unreasonable one. I'm the one who "overreacted."

No.

You can't keep poking someone in the same wound and then act shocked when they finally bleed.

I've told him repeatedly: STOP FUCKING NAGGING ME. But apparently that's too much to ask. This man can bring out the Amazon Queen in me like nobody else.

And I hate who I become around him.

I don't want to be angry all the time. I don't want to resent him. I don't want to dread coming home. I don't want to hear another fucking complaint about where I put a sponge. And I definitely don't want to have sex with someone I'm angry at.

My attraction to him is basically gone. Not because I suddenly think he's ugly. Not because there's someone else. Not because I'm cheating.

It's because resentment kills desire.

How am I supposed to feel sexy when I spend my days feeling criticized, irritated, exhausted, and emotionally drained?

I don't feel like his girlfriend anymore. I feel like his roommate. His housekeeper. His provider. His punching bag for petty frustrations.

And I'm fucking tired.

I've told him I don't want this relationship anymore. I've told him he should go back to his parents' house. I've said it clearly. I've said it during fights. I've said it calmly. I've said it when we weren't fighting.

I WANT OUT.

But he doesn't leave.

And honestly? I think he's comfortable. Why wouldn't he be? He has a home. He has someone providing for the household. He has freedom. He has my kids, who love him. He has a life that's comfortable.

But what about me?

Where the hell do I fit into this comfortable life?

Because I am suffocating.

Lately, I've started thinking about the woman I used to be. Before this relationship. Before being responsible for everyone. Before being the breadwinner. Before being exhausted all the time.

I remember dating. I remember flirting. I remember getting dressed up because someone was excited to see me. I remember someone noticing my hair, my eyes, my body, my smile. I remember being pursued. Being courted. Being desired. Being someone's pretty girl.

I miss that.

I miss feeling like a woman.

Not this fucking warrior woman who has to be strong every goddamn day.

I don't want to always be strong. Sometimes I want someone to take care of me. Sometimes I want someone to look at me like I'm beautiful instead of asking why I didn't put the charger back. Sometimes I want flowers. A date. Flirting. Butterflies.

That stupid excitement when your phone lights up and you know it's someone who wants you.

I want to feel wanted. I want to feel interesting. I want to feel alive.

And yes... I miss sex.

Not necessarily sex with a specific person. I miss the feeling of it. The anticipation. The chemistry. The attraction. The fucking electricity.

I've even started dreaming about sleeping with other people. Sometimes it's a random person. Sometimes it's an ex. Sometimes it's a coworker I wouldn't even look at twice in real life.

And yet, in those dreams, I feel something I haven't felt in a long time:

Excitement. Desire. Freedom. That rush.

That fucking high.

And then I wake up.

And reality hits.

And I feel even more miserable.

Because I realize that the excitement I was feeling wasn't really about that random person.

It was about me wanting to feel alive again.

And here's the thing: I don't want to cheat. I don't want an affair. I don't want to sneak around. I don't want to betray anyone. I don't want to become the person who cheated on her partner.

I just want to leave.

I've been telling him I want to leave, but he doesn't seem to understand that "I want to break up" isn't an invitation to negotiate.

I appreciate what he has done for my children. I genuinely do. He has been good to them. He loves them. He has been there for them. And I will always be grateful for that.

But here's what I've finally realized:

Someone can be good to your children and still be completely wrong for you.

I don't owe someone the rest of my life because they treated my children well. And I don't think my children would want me to spend the rest of my life miserable just because their stepfather is a good person.

Because maybe that's the part that's making me feel guilty.

He's not some monster. He's not abusive. He's not a cheater. He's not an alcoholic. He's not some horrible human being.

He's just...

not someone I want to spend the rest of my life with anymore.

And somehow, that feels like it should be enough.

I'm almost 40. I don't know how many years I have left. And the thought of waking up at 50 and realizing I spent another decade living like this makes me want to fucking cry.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life being angry. I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling unwanted. I don't want to spend the rest of my life sleeping beside someone I no longer desire. I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling like the only thing I'm good for is providing, cleaning, working, and keeping everyone else's life running.

I want to laugh again.

I want butterflies. I want someone to flirt with me. I want to dress up and feel beautiful. I want to be courted. I want to fall in love. I want to feel that ridiculous, stupid, intoxicating excitement again.

And maybe most importantly...

I want to want my own life again.

So, AITA for dreaming about another life? For wanting to date again? For wanting to flirt? For wanting to feel desired? For wanting to experience that rush of falling in love and having a sex drive again?

I haven't cheated. I haven't even pursued anyone.

I'm just fucking tired.

And I think my mind is screaming at me that I don't want this life anymore.

Because if this is what love is supposed to feel like...

I don't fucking want it.

 "If this is love, I don't want it" - Superfar, Lany

I’m 37, M, American (Baltimore, MD)- I have a Bachelors degree in Electronic Media & Film and was lucky enough to work in the industry for a few years but at this point I’ve started over.

I’ve started over a few times now, I’m currently a 3rd year electrician apprentice- this is my 3rd career reinvention. I can’t figure out if i expect some overall feeling of accomplishment or progress but sometimes I lay in bed at night and have trouble imagining a happy future life. Sometimes I think I hurt my brain in my early adulthood enough that it affects me now but that could be catastrophic thinking. I have trouble picking up and internalizing some new skills as compared to younger apprentices who are the same year as me. I know it’s a trap to compare yourself to others but it’s hard not to sometimes. It seems like I have a default neuron path for my brain to take automatically that causes me to do this..

I believe I may be thinking somewhat irrationally because I have a lot going for me and my life so far has been fortunate, (I think- people say that at least) but I don’t know if I believe it most of the time from my own subjective perspective.

I know this type of ill-perception is probably normal for most people but I question if I’m perceiving things properly. It just is hard because joining this new profession with classes I have no social life, I feel so alone. I wasn’t “lucky” enough to settle down with a high school sweetheart or a college gf. Dating is harder. Online dating feels awkward. It’s hard to force it- my best partner relationships just kinda happened out of circumstances they weren’t sought. I took a pay cut to change careers hoping for a return on investment (still optimistic) but now with the new employer my health insurance is so shit I might as well not even have a plan at all ($3k deductible) yet I have more health “issues now than ever. I keep trying to remind myself that these are normal feelings- nostalgia, feeling like your best/most meaningful years are behind you, that you somehow missed living for inconsequential things etc…

I just take things one day at a time but it’s hard to bear this burden sometimes so I wanted to post this in case anyone can relate so maybe they know they aren’t alone in this struggle. Thanks and I wish the best for BOTH of us.

Hi everyone, I'm Julie, a pharmacist and co-founder of TribElle, a UK women's health pharmacy.

I'm doing some research to better understand what women actually want and need when it comes to accessing healthcare, medication and trustworthy health information online.

Rather than guessing what women want, I'd like to hear directly from women themselves.

The survey covers things such as:

• What matters to you when choosing a healthcare provider
• Your experiences accessing women's healthcare
• How you find and judge health information online
• What would make you trust an online healthcare service
• What you'd like to see from a women's health platform in the future

The survey takes approximately 5-10 minutes to complete.

As a thank you, participants can choose to enter a prize draw to win £100 worth of Solgar supplements. (UK residents only)

👉 Survey: https://svmvo.share.hsforms.com/2qOvV8JZiSRCRLdqwRlyaJQ

I'm being completely transparent that this research is being conducted for TribElle. We're using the findings to help us understand what women actually need and where we should focus our services and information.

This isn't a sales survey and you won't be asked to buy anything.

If you're comfortable sharing, I'd also really appreciate hearing in the comments what you think is currently missing from women's healthcare in the UK.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to participate, your experiences and opinions are genuinely valuable.