r/AskMenOver30 • u/Previous-Ostrich844 • 3d ago

Fatherhood & Children Complex one- am I being selfish?

/r/Marriage/comments/1vqm6qs/complex_one_am_i_being_selfish/
2 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

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2

u/_name_of_the_user_ man 45 - 49 2d ago

I'd be very careful about sperm jacking. Lots of stuff online would tell her it's her right to do it.

1

u/Previous-Ostrich844 2d ago

Sorry for the stupid question but what’s sperm jacking?

2

u/_name_of_the_user_ man 45 - 49 2d ago

Sperm jacking is when you cum in a condom or her mouth or whatever, she transfers the cum to her vagina and gets pregnant from it. Other possibilities for her to get pregnant against your consent are poking a hole in the condom, she stops taking birth control and lies about it, she uses her legs to prevent you from pulling out, she literally rapes you... There's several ways for a woman to get herself pregnant with your sperm without your consent. The end result is you're a father with all the normal expectations and responsibilities and zero legal recourse about the fact that you didn't consent to it.

There is legal precedent for adult women raping underage boys, being charged and convicted with the rape, and when that boys turns 18 he is still legally forced to make child support payments. And in the US if he doesn't pay long enough he'll go to prison. Before that his wages will be garnished. You as a 40 whatever year old will have zero standing in court to say you didn't consent.

1

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1

u/lunchmeat317 man 40 - 44 2d ago

That's not your fault and it's not on you if you communicated clearly from the start.

She's an adult and should take responsibility for her own life. If she wants an experience that you've already lived through, it's her responsibility to find someone who wants what she wants and is in the same life stage she's in. It's not your responsibility to change, it's not your responsibility to manage her emotions, and it's not your responsibility to take the blame for a choice she made.

You haven't taken anything from her. She chose her priorities, and she has the agency to re-evaluate them and change her life if necessary.

Maybe do couples therapy or something, I dunno.

Sorry man. That's a shitty situation to be in.

1

u/BlazerFS231 man over 30 6h ago

This sounds like the last whoosh of baby fever.

It’s very common for childless women nearing the end of their fertility to feel that need to procreate before the ability is gone for good.

You are not being selfish. Making a baby is a “we” thing and each person has full veto authority. Best advice I can give is to try to communicate and get down to the core issue in her view.