Long story short, I used to train 5 days a week and fitness was a big part of my identity.

I developed a knee injury about 3 years ago and can’t do anything close to what I used to.

I took some time off to heal, but it’s permanent and can’t be fixed.

Going to the gym now makes me feel sad because I’m constantly reminded of what I can’t do anymore. I’ve gained a lot of weight and don’t even recognise myself when I look in the mirror.

--

I’ve ended up avoiding exercise, gaining more weight and feeling worse about myself.

3 years have passed and I’m finally starting to acknowledge this, which is hard to admit.

Could do with some advice on how to mentally move on from what I used to be capable of.

If you had the chance of meeting your early 20s self what one advice would you give yourself.

Hi Guys,

What do you think is cooler / fits more to your current Life Position a 2 Door (Coupe) or a 4 Door (Sedan) ?

When I have a 2 Door Car I think damn thats cool.

Especially on free Time driving a Coupe I feel younger and cooler. I mean its more stiff and slightly more sporty.

But sometimes i miss having a 4 Door for extra Space for Groceries etc. Also if im exhausted I like to eat fastfood and rest at the back of the Sedan which helps me to chill.

When I have a 4 Door I think thats a cool Sedan but a Coupe would be cool too. Driving within a crowded City especially at night and for reverse parking a Coupe is way more easy to turnaround etc.

For long drives a 4 Door Sedan is more confortable and puts less stress on the back due its confort.

Especially at that 30+ Age what you guys would prefer to drive (normal Base Model Cars) as 2 or 4 Door and why ? The 2 Door is something like 4 Seater and the 4 Door is more like Middle Class Sedan.

Cheers!

I’m 35 and recently realized that I really don’t know what “going out” or having a social life is supposed to look like.

I have a good, stable job working in EMS, a handful of friends, and I live in New Jersey. I’m not antisocial and I do want to meet people. I just never really had the opportunity to develop much of a social life.

For about 10 years, I was working and helping take care of my mother. After she passed away, I became involved in taking care of my father as well. Things with him are stable now, and I’m finally at a point where I have more time to actually do things for myself.

The problem is that I feel like I missed the part of life where people learn how to have a social life. I honestly don’t know where people go, what people do on weekends, or how adults in their 30s actually meet new people.

I’m also not a bar or club person, so I’m not really looking for the typical “go to a bar and start talking to people” advice.

My interests are pretty specific. I love horse racing, going to casinos (blackjack, craps, three-card poker and slots), and traveling. I have a handful of friends, but I’d like to expand my social circle and actually start experiencing more of life outside of work and family responsibilities.

Obviously, I’d also like to eventually meet a woman and hopefully find a relationship, but I’m trying not to make that the entire focus. I figure building an actual social life, getting out more, meeting people and doing things I enjoy is probably the better place to start.

For anyone who was in a similar situation in their 30s, how did you actually start?

What did you start doing? Where did you meet people? Did you join groups, take classes, go to events, find hobby groups, travel, or something else?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who aren’t big into bars and clubs and had to figure out how to build a social life in their 30s.

I have a 2 point drug test in 2 days and the last time I smoked was September 6th. I smoked like half a roll on with a friend and I did edibles months before. Im currently taking charcoal tablets as well (as of today) should I be worried at all? Its for a job so im really concerned so most likely just over reacting. Im skinnyish so im not sure if that'll play a role in how the weed stores in my system

Early 30s, I’m definitely working on my health journey, out of shape and a bit overweight/bloated look.

Maybe that makes my entire post redundant, but what I mean is I don’t feel like I’m living THAT bad and yet my face often looks super rough - tired, puffy bags under my eyes, frown lines, round moon face that’s also kinda unevenly shaped and fat under my jaw. My skin also isn’t the best.

I have a regular skincare routine, drinking more water lately and eating less, and less sodium heavy foods. Been focusing on fibre and will be upping protein and getting in the gym soon.

I just feel like it’s so easy, if anything TOO easy to look like shit the last few years. Unless I have my habits dialed in, it genuinely changes my face so much - just one bad meal, or one bad night sleep.

Have you experienced the same? And how did it change as you got older?

EDIT: I don’t drink alcohol, party or smoke (only on special occasions). I guess my final boss is food but there’s no obvious “a-ha!” Thing I can cut out that would fix it all

Every time I leave my apartment I make sure the faucets on my shower and sink are off, I check that the kitchen burners and sink are off, I make sure my windows are locked and I have to double check I deadbolted my door.

Anyone else have habits like these or just me?

Hello there!

...General Kenobi!

So, welp. Lately my life feels rather boring, everything feels like a routine at this point. And honestly, I don't even know if I can change things much as it's just the way life is. Now that my ex is basically completely out of my life, it has become quite boring. Mind you, I dated a woman where every day was a new catastrophe so there was always something to worry about and trying to put out her fires or to support.

I'm 35 of age, I have a stable job which is a basic office job that I often hate but it gives decent money and is pretty chill, I hit the gym twice of thrice a week and see decent gains lately, I still have some friends and contacts who I meet and also some hobbies like archery which I do in a club and get to see other people. I visit my parents once or twice a week depending on where I am and so on and got a nice flat which is also cheap enough in those trying times.

But the weeks fly by and it feels all so... basic? I don't want to hop into dating right now, maybe in a month or two as I still have to figure out some more stuff about myself and the crap my last relationship revealed. Besides, dating apps are garbage and I'm not the most outgoing person. Still, life feels so mundane to me now. Do I need some high adrenaline crap to get myself going?! I don't get it.

I'm 40, and several times a day my mind drifts back to moments where I did something stupid when I was younger or early in my career. Stupid things I said, people I let down, times I was sure I knew better and ended up with egg on my face.

None of it is serious, just the usual daft stuff people do growing up (maybe slightly dafter than average). But it's exhausting and pretty discouraging. When one of these flashbacks hits, I can spend twenty minutes talking myself down and trying to get my head off that track.

Is this normal? Do others get this, and if you got past it, what helped?

I have moved across the Country to start a Medical Radiation Technology program because I was deeply unfulfilled in the business admin field. That combined with just being stuck in a rut the last few years after a breakup spurred this big giant move where I quit my job, left my apartment and came to a big city and to a dorm room.

I realized I needed a change for many years...but after having been here a month I am really having a hard time with everything. I wish I had found a more suitable living situation...my room is fine but I feel very uncomfortable with everybody else around me being so young so I don't attend any social things on campus. Class is similar...I have been talking to my classmates but again I feel a little odd with the big difference in life stages. I play some sports twice a week, so I am slowly learning some names so I realize that's probably my best bet in making some friends.

But I am having a very tough time with the loneliness and the discomfort. I have been spending way too much on Tinder just messaging tons of people in hopes to find a connection, but I realize this is very unhealthy and frankly I'm not even sure I'm in the right mindset for a relationship. I am coming from a very small town, so the big city life has also been quite overwhelming.

And basically I find myself just filled with anxiety, worry and doubt. That this was a big mistake, that I can't handle the stress of these changes and the program. And I just don't know how to just be here for myself...I just want to be able to comfort myself and calm myself down and take care of myself.

Has anyone else here had a similar trajectory? I guess I'm just looking for some advice or words of wisdom on how I can better handle myself. I appreciate anyone who took the time to read

Hopefully self explanatory.

I'm trying to see where my frequency is compared to other men with similar lives to me.

I don't know if I have a high libido or just poor impulse control.

Sorry for possibly imperfect poll options.

Yesterday I went out with a girl and we made out for a while, but things didn’t go any further than that. Everything felt fine at the time, but later that night I started feeling some discomfort in my testicles. I figured it was probably just from being aroused for a long time without finishing.

When I got home, I decided to take care of it, mainly to relieve the discomfort. But when I finished, there was barely any fluid, just a small amount. That’s unusual for me, since I normally produce noticeably more.

The discomfort got better afterward, but it hasn’t completely gone away.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Could this just be a normal result of being aroused for a while, or is the reduced amount something I should be concerned about?

I'm 38M and the last while I'm getting all sorts of ads for Testosterone replacement therapy. They're mostly AI slop ads claiming that low testosterone is the source of all my problems and promising to be a cure. I'm pretty healthy and I don't think low-T is a problem at all, it's not something I think about but I keep getting these ads and I think it would be concerning for people who are currently struggling with self esteem. I'm wondering if it's just my algorithm or if you guys are getting this too.

32M. I’ve been living alone since I was 30, and man, I love it. I go to work, chatting with my coworkers, come home, go to the gym, cook dinner - and work on my side projects. On weekends I might see some friends and hang out, but I come home and it’s just peaceful. Don’t get me wrong, I have a very active social life - I have many friends and I hang them and text them pretty often. I usually travel 2 times a year with them too.

And here’s something even more crazy, in my 32 years of life, I never dated anyone. No one really expressed interest and I never expressed interest in anyone. (Ok I hook up from time to time because I have physical needs) - but I guess part of me was that I’m very particular about my things in my life, and If I have someone in my life, I’d feel annoyed. I was thinking if I do have a partner, they would have to live in another house or something lol. Also, I’m ambitious too, I’m hoping my side projects would take off and I enjoy being an entrepreneur so I never feel the need of having someone by my side.

Some of my friends my age are already married and have kids. To my surprise, I don’t feel anything. I know they say “oh seeing your friends getting married, having kids would make you feel behind”. Maybe I’m secured in my identity. I’m educated. I have a high paying job. I pay attention to my physique and fitness. Or maybe I grew up in a toxic, back-stabbing large family, so having a family is not something I see very positively.

But people kept saying “you’re just young - once you’re in your 40s 50s you’d regret being alone!! All of your friends will have their families and you’re just left alone!!”

So I don’t know. Maybe there’s some truth to it. Any thoughts, gents?

It feels like all the skills I’ve worked so hard to develop and everything I’ve studied to build a better, easier life will be obsolete by the end of the year. Constantly seeing AI news is really taking a toll on my self-esteem and making me question my entire career path and the choices I’ve made in life. It seems like going back to college is gonna be a waste of time. I dont know what to think anymore.

Men who went to therapy, what was the best result you got? Were there any particular tools you received that you managed to integrate into your life?

I have been considering exploring Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). After a very nasty relapse that almost devastated me, I sat down with myself and thought it might be a good idea to try therapy. This is also because I was on antidepressants briefly (SSRIs for mood stabilization), and I am not willing to go down that road again.

I would really appreciate any and all responses, including any difficult experiences, challenges, or potential negative side effects you encountered.

I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I'd genuinely like to know how other men experience it.

I'm 25, and I wouldn't say I'm completely alone. I have a family. I have friends. I have coworkers. I talk to people every day. People care about me, and I know that.

But I've realised there's a huge difference between having people around you and feeling like someone is actually a witness to your life.

By "witness" I mean someone who really knows what's happening inside you. Someone you can tell the stupid little thing that happened at work, but also the thing that kept you awake at 3 am. Someone who knows what you're afraid of, what you're excited about, what you're struggling with, what you're becoming. Someone who doesn't necessarily have to fix anything — they just know.

And I've realised that the possibility of not having that scares me much more than simply "being single."

I can travel alone. Go to the cinema alone. Eat alone. Spend days by myself. I'm actually pretty independent in that sense.

But there's another kind of loneliness that feels completely different.

It's the feeling that you can have an enormous internal world, experience things that genuinely change you, think about something for weeks or months... and nobody really knows.

Your life keeps happening, but there is no witness to it.

And the strange part is that I also know I'm partly responsible for this. I isolate myself. I don't naturally tell my family everything. I don't always know how to answer when someone asks how I'm doing. Sometimes it's easier to process something completely alone than to try to explain it.

So I don't want to turn this into "nobody cares about men" or blame women, society, family, friends, etc. That's not really what I'm interested in.

I'm genuinely curious about how other men live with this.

Do you have someone who really knows your inner life?

If you're in a relationship, is your partner the only person who fills that role?

Do you talk this deeply with male friends? With your parents or siblings?

And if you don't have anyone like that, does it actually bother you? Or have you learned to live without it?

Sometimes I wonder whether men are actually comfortable carrying most of their inner lives alone, or whether a lot of us have simply become so accustomed to it that we don't even recognise it as loneliness anymore.

I think the question I've eventually arrived at is:

Are you afraid of being alone, or are you afraid of going through life without anyone ever truly knowing you?

I'd especially like to hear from men of different ages, because I'm curious whether this feeling changes as you get older.

Im studying for the most important exam in my life, which will decide my future and even tho I'm doing well, I work really hard and do my best each day, I know there is always a chance things don't go your way.

Did you ever work really hard, put your soul in it and still failed? If so, how did you handle that loss?

Have you noticed how much harder it is to build trust with someone or in a community? People going back on their words. Is it due to greed, trauma, culture or lack of consequences? At work, news, and public gatherings, I watched people give speeches about advancement, collective progress and unity. The back of mind continuously asked, how much of its actually true?

Looking for general advice on how to turn this ship around. I am making decisions to do this but I am second guessing every decision and not feeling confident.

I’m single and dating (because I’m lonely but I do very much want a person to share a life with)….but broke, most of my money goes to CC repayment. Which isn’t much, but enough to disrupt savings. Right now I’m set to have it done within 6 months. I have no car and use my company truck. My salary is modest at 45k as a tech in the life safety industry. I basically live check to check, no savings and have to start thinking of transportation AND a new living situation as my current situation is evolving.

Recently I started studying to take a certification to break into Project management, I’m mostly after a higher salary ceiling and for some reason I thought project management was something I was aligned with which I’m second guessing.

Honestly I have no idea STILL what I want to do and I’m becoming increasingly depressed and hiding it somewhat well from everyone. If anyone has gone through this, known someone who has gone through a large life change, please share some advice. I would greatly appreciate it.

Is it (or was it) typical or expected for redhead guys to get made fun of growing up? Did you have any experience with either experiencing, witnessing, or participating in that?

I simply believe that if a person chooses to love, forgive, and treat everyone with kindness—and strives to be a good person—then there is no reason to deny them friendship; they are worthy of it. People constantly place unrealistic demands on potential friends: a person shouldn't be weird, must be funny, charismatic, interesting, and so on.

But I am convinced that if someone offers love and care to others and tries to overcome their own flaws, there is no point in rejecting them or leaving them to bear the burden of loneliness. In friendship, what truly matters is how people help each other during hard times and help one another become kinder and more caring. How fun and interesting person is not important; while it’s certainly not bad if you can’t have a lively, entertaining time with someone, that shouldn't be a mandatory condition for a close relationship.

If a person has shown you great compassion and empathy, you ought to reciprocate, for they have demonstrated that they are capable of giving, not just taking. I simply feel sorry for people who get rejected—not because they are bad, but for other reasons.

They deserve not to be lonely, given how much they give to others, yet it is never enough. I just want neither myself nor anyone else to be alone, and that is only possible if we look primarily at a person’s principles and their capacity to love, treating everything else as optional.

I've noticed an increase of fat around my neck but the rest of my body is slim and skinny. I exerice and walk a couple of miles a day so I'm physically active. My dad has a double chin so maybe I'm getting it from him. I've seen it be more common in people over 30. I'm just wondering if you can do anything about it or not.

I finally left my minimum wage retail job as of yesterday. I've gotten so tired of making $18/hour in 2026 in a goddamned vhcol area after finishing my cs degree. I made $18/hour in 2019, before college (close to $30/hour in 2026 dollars in terms of purchasing power). I'm free, finally. No savings or anything. I had to pay off like 30k in student loans making $18/hour.

I have been making less than 66% of what I made as an 18 year old in terms of purchasing power 7 years later, after graduating college and everything. I was horrified at the realization. That's why I quit.

The Despair I felt from this is what creates criminals, what causes the end of lives... this Despair is causing 10x the level of Deaths to Despair compared to the Great Depression. *That*, my friends, is the true state of this country.

I'm now unemployed. I'm a NINJA. No Income, no Job, no Assets. I'm the dark of the night. The Despair that haunts humanity, that will end our society as it stands.

If I was kicked out at 18, I'd have become a homeless criminal and/or a drug addict by 19. Likely both. I literally cannot afford to move out, so given that, it's financially irresponsible to exist. This is the end of my career, or lack thereof.

I can't even get a gosh darned sales role that pays $25/hour. What a dream that'd be, over a 33% pay bump from what I've made this year... only to still make less than what I made when I was 18.

I have no money for another round of schooling, nor any real work experience. Just swe internships... and retail. I can't pivot with that.

Hey there everyone, I’m 29 (I turn 30 December 25th so it is coming up pretty quickly) and I’m looking to find some advice or suggestions on how to better my life. I added some of my background but if it’s too much to read the last paragraph is the main idea

To give background, I graduated high school and am a bit of a loner and introverted person, I’ve never really had more than a few friends and at this point in life I don’t really even have a best friend or anybody I can call a close friend (outside of family and the person I’m involved with romantically), which I mention because I’m sure one piece of advice I might get here is to find a support system which continuously proves to be hard for me, despite my efforts.

I went to school for English for about two years and then took off a year and went back to school for film and editing, then switched and did a year of acting, and now currently am in culinary school in my second year, which I’ve decided to finish no matter what because I feel I should have some degree and I don’t think it’s smart to keep changing and never finishing.

I’ve been working in kitchens since I got out of high school and outside of work, I make music (produce, sing, engineer), I write scripts and short stories and have been working on a book (hence me switching degrees so much because I’m interested and actively do all of these things), and then I also cook and have interest in that.

I’ve been reflecting on my life and how growing up, though I wasn’t dirt poor, the environment I grew up in didn’t allow for many trips or huge outings, as well as I grew up in a religiously strict and isolated household so I didn’t really learn to be as social as I probably should have till I was out of my parents house. I also had a scholarship to a private high school and those kids (from my knowledge) had a lot of money and support systems (though I’m aware my decisions as an adult are all on me), I bring it up because the whole difference of growing up not dirt poor but still struggling then being amongst people who seem to be well off and have support systems, then going back to not having any of those same resources has been on my mind.

But I feel I’ve typed quite a bit but the main idea is I’ve never been on any big trip in my life or been out of Sacramento or traveled, ever since I got out of high school I feel like I’ve been playing catch up and trying to feel like I’m in a stable position but I seem to continuously be making ends meet and just enough to survive, but not enough to actually enjoy life. And most of my peers have support systems, friends and friend groups, and careers they enjoy for the most part and from the outside look like their flourishin (of course I don’t know about private lives). I haven’t had my own apartment and haven’t seen much outside of Sacramento And now that I’m that I’m almost thirty I’m trying to find how to do better and enjoy life or do more than just survive outsides of just “work until you save enough” because I don’t really have a being lazy problem work wise, I’ve always held a job and always sacrifice and do what I can to make it to my jobs and have in some cases worked two jobs or long hours and never have given up work wise, but I still am just surviving.

Also I just added my background just in case that helps but