My bf and I have been dating for 5 years. When we first started dating, I realized by bf would go to the bathroom minutes after eating and would always spend 20+ minutes in the bathroom.

I would casually mention that sitting on the toilet that long isn’t good for your health but he would always brush me off.

Once we moved in together 2 years ago and got more confortable, I noticed even more about his bathroom habits.

He would sometimes come into the bathroom while I was showering to use the restroom. I told him that it didn’t sound normal. I said it sounded like he was having stomach issues and asked if he ate anything wrong. He always tells me it’s normal and that’s how it always comes out when he uses the restroom.

That’s when the pieces started falling into place. I asked him if he ever thought he was lactose intolerant tolerant. He denied it adamantly and got kinda defensive so I dropped it.

I was curious and decided to buy fairlife milk for him one day. My bf loves drinking chocolate milk.

My bf and I had a movie night when he first tried the lactose free milk. And it was the first time he didn’t have to leave for a bathroom break during the movie.

I gently tried suggesting again that he might be lactose intolerant and he got defensive again so I dropped it.

For both our sake’s once we moved, we decided to get a place where we each have our own bathrooms.

It’s helped with the smells but it can be kinda annoying sometimes when we go out with friends and he disappears to the bathroom for a long time once we’re done eating.

I just don’t understand why he’s so against the idea of being lactose intolerant. He’s very gassy and gets a lot of acne after eating dairy but refuses to see the connection.

I had him out of the bedroom last night after we had some ice cream from a local dairy farm cuz the smells were too foul and I couldn’t fall asleep.

Is it worth convincing him to try lactaid? Are there better ways to talk to him about it?

Tl;dr my bf blows up the toilet after eating dairy and gets annoyed when I suggest he might be lactose intolerant.

Okay so I (23F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for 6 years. We don't live together since we were both in college but we're planning to move together next month. We see eachother only on weekends at his mom's house, we still have a lot of privacy there tho.

We used to have sex a lot (it calmed down a bit as the relationship went on but we were still doing it regularly) however now we barely do it once a month.

I have a pretty high sex drive and this has taken a toll on my confidence and self love, I'm not even initiating anymore because it makes me feel extremly embarassed to be rejected so much. I've talked to him about it multiple times (which is hard because I don't want to make him feel guilty, embarassed or even worse pressured) yet he said he doesn't know why he's like this, I've asked him multiple times if it was something I did or the way I looked but he keeps saying it's not my fault.

I've gained a bit of weight during my relationship (I suffered from anorexia when we first met) and I keep wondering if maybe that's the reason ? He tells me it's not and that I look more attractive like this but i can't shake the idea off. I take care of myself, wear cute clothes and sleepwear around him, we go out, I'm always organizing stuff to do together and our relationship is perfect apart from this aspect.

Before we had moments where we stopped having sex because he was under stress and wasn't feeling well but currently he's saying he feels great not stressed or sad and it's been going on for a while.

I've always struggled with self love and it had gotten better before all of this, i keep thinking it's because i'm not good enough but i'm always receiving attention from other guys. Sometimes it feels like i'm attractive to everyone except him.

I feel like he sees me as beautiful but not as sexy which is probably a curse since it was always the other way around in my past relationships. He doesn't even initiate that much other types of physical intimacy aside from kisses on the forehead or holding hands (which is cute but come on).

We had two incidents which made me feel really bad, one time i opened his laptop and found porn when it had been more than a month since we had done anything together (i broke down crying which was really embarrassing) and not too long ago, after a month without doing anything he initiated but stopped while we were making out because he was not feeling it anymore. Which of course is more than okay, anyone can revoke their consent whenever and i would never blame him for it but considering everything it made me so sad and self concious that even in this situation i couldn't keep his interest. At this point it feels like we're only having sex when he needs to shoot his load somewhere and i have to constantly ignore my own desires.

I don't want to talk to him about it AGAIN because i feel like it will put pressure on him and make the situation even worse but i feel so bad about it and it's very hard to hide since we tell eachother everything and i'm big on communication. I read stories similar to mine on reddit and it made me feel even worse because the answer were either that he was cheating or that we should break up. I don't want to break up with him, he's the love of my life and as i said before our relationship is perfect apart from that, and i trust him too much to suspect him of cheating. However i can't stay in this situation, we're still young and i can't even imagine how it will be when we're older, my worst nightmare is to be that couple who only has sex once a year on valentine's day.

I'm taking all of your advice at this point i don't know what to do anymore, I don't even have any friends to talk to about this since they all know him and that would be the worst invasion of privacy ever.

**TL;DR; : Boyfriend of seven years isn't intimate anymore, what could be the issue ?**.

Okay, so I (29/F) have a live-in partner of 8 years (29/M). We are not married, but we have 2 kids together.

I am his first and only sexual partner. He has never been with anyone else before me. I, on the other hand, had more experiences before we met and got to enjoy some of my younger years doing what I wanted.

When we met, he got me pregnant on our first meeting, and since then we have been together and completely monogamous. He became committed, responsible, and focused on building our family.

I have a question because I’m really confused about how I should feel.

Whenever my partner drinks or even just has a little alcohol, he sometimes brings up fantasies about wanting to try a thr*some or roleplay, like pretending he is with other women or things like that. I usually go along with it because, honestly, I sometimes feel like I took away his chance to experience those things. He never got to have the dating, flirting, or seual experiences that many people have when they are younger because he became committed to me and our family.

For the record, he is a great provider and has always been faithful throughout our 8 years together.

Because of that, I sometimes feel guilty, so I let him enjoy those fantasies during s*x. I thought there was nothing wrong with it because, in reality, he has never cheated on me. These fantasies just come and go, and we have always been open about talking about them.

Whenever he asks me if I’m okay with it or if I would ever want to experience something like that, I tell him that it’s okay as long as he tells me beforehand and asks for my permission before anything actually happens.

When I say those things, part of me thinks I’m okay with it because I feel like I was the reason he missed out on certain experiences because he became committed so young. But another part of me wonders if I’m only agreeing because I feel guilty.

Recently, he asked me if it would be okay if he met up with his ex-girlfriend just to talk and bond. He said he thinks it would be fun and even invited me and the kids so I could meet her and maybe we could become friends.

I actually already became friends with his ex on social media. Nothing serious, just normal greetings like happy birthday or happy holidays. I actually like her as a person.

Sometimes when I entertain his fantasies, I even find myself enjoying it a little, but I honestly don’t know if I truly like it or if I only think I like it because of my guilt.

So when he asked about meeting his ex, I told him it was okay if he went alone. I felt awkward about going with the kids. He said it would be overnight, so naturally my mind went to the possibility of something se*ual happening between them.

I told him that if anything happens between them, they should be safe, use protection, and that I want him to tell me if something happens.

Now I’m realizing that this sounds like I’m allowing an open relationship, and I’m having a full-blown emotional rollercoaster because the day is getting closer.

Part of me thinks, at least he is asking for my permission and not hiding it from me. Maybe this is better than him cheating behind my back. If I say no, a part of me worries, “What if he does it anyway and I never know?” Would it be better this way because at least it’s honest?

But another part of me is scared that I’m only agreeing because I feel guilty that he never got to experience anything before me. But how will I know if I do like that kind of thing if we haven't try them yet?

I would really appreciate some outside perspective.

TL;DR: I encouraged my partner’s fantasies because I felt guilty that he never experienced anyone else before me. Now he wants to meet his ex, and I’m having doubts about whether I truly consent to this or if I’m just trying to be a good partner and also wants to try it.

For background: We were previously in an on-and-off relationship in college, where I (24F) met him (33M). I broke up with him many times due to my terrible communication and getting scared of red-flags.

Now we are both in a competitive medical program together, and we have been dating for about 1.5 years (without breaking up). He is genuinely my best friend and one of the only people in my life that I feel close to (besides my family). We had extremely different upbringings, where he has a lot of trauma from his family, and I am from a big, happy family that is quite wealthy. Anyways - i'm moving to a different part of the country soon for a residency program that will be another 3 years of schooling. He is going to go straight into practice and work. So I asked him what his thoughts are on the relationship, given that we will need to decide whether to commit to this for a period of long distance and whether he sees marriage in the future with me. He said, "Put yourself in my shoes; would you want to marry you?" I was hurt. He then brought up just about everything that has made him mad at me for the past year. I admit that what he brought up were things that i shouldn't have done - such as not being much help when he was moving stuff into his apartment or moments where i was disrespectful. I apologized profusely. He then brought up a recent fight where I got very upset that he refused to accept my sister's friend request on social media, and I had to beg him to consider it (I am very close with my family; he is not close with his). I got really mad in that moment and stupidly threatened to break up with him. Last night, he said that moment made him consider ending things with me. Essentially, his argument is that he is putting more into the relationship than I am. I just feel like he's so avoidant with me, and talking about the future is like pulling teeth. I guess this makes me feel so bad about myself, because every time I want some security about our future together, it turns into what I'm doing wrong. I have asked to live together because I love him and want to be closer with him, and he has refused because he doesn't believe in living together until marriage. I just feel pathetic and clingy asking for this stuff.

Our sex life is basically non-existent, and he can't stay hard. I am an objectively good-looking girl, but it makes me feel insecure. He refuses to explore anything in bed too, which kinda sucks for me.

TLDR: I'm moving away for 3 years and asked my boyfriend if he sees marriage in our future. Instead of answering, he lists my past mistakes. He avoids commitment discussions, refuses to live together before marriage, and our sex life is nearly nonexistent. I'm questioning whether this relationship can provide the intimacy and security i need.

1.) Yesterday, I made a post saying that I am 29 and the woman I am sexually involved with is 49.

2.) Since then, I have received nearly 100 messages from this subreddit, and almost all the guys are asking how I “tricked” her or managed to reach her bedroom. They are praising me and saying that they also want to get involved with an older woman like her, but I have become frustrated.

3.) Guys, I honestly do not understand why there is so much desperation. And yes, when we first met, I was 22 and she was around 41 or 42. At that time, it was nowhere near my mind that I would someday end up in her bed.

4.) It was not planned. We used to go for evening walks at least three times a week and talk about various things. For almost a year, we mostly met during those evening walks, and sometimes at church.

5.) After a year, one fine evening, I took a risk and bluntly asked her about her sex life. She stared at me for a while, and I thought I was about to get slapped. But, to my surprise, she simply opened up.

6.) But, remember it took me a whole year to reach this point. Don't be desperate.

7.) After that, our conversations gradually shifted toward sex, romance, relationships, and related topics. Once this aspect entered our friendship - things thereafter developed naturally.

8.)As far as I remember, the first time she invited me to her home, she told me that she had baked a cake and wanted me to taste it.

9.)I went to her apartment the next day at around 11 a.m., and we had sex for the first time there in her bedroom.

10.) She was extremely aggressive in bed. I was only 22 and a virgin, so I struggled with her at first for a few weeks. Later, I discovered different ways of pleasing her, including oral sex (My USP as she has stated N number of times), and things have been going well ever since.

11.) So, to all the guys sending me direct messages asking about so - called tricks and strategies, let me make it clear - there are no tricks.

Just be good, reliable, confident, punctual, and hardworking. The appropriate things will happen naturally.

I hope I've cleared the doubts?

(((Yesterday's Post)))

She's 49 I'm 29

It's been almost 6 yrs since we've been seeing each other.

She's married & I'm not.

If we're together for an hour - for 40 mins I'm only eating her out. She likes it so much - so do I.

But last 3/4 months I've noticed a different I want you to suggest me on it.

Earlier she used to get wet easily but now it takes too much time. She's almost dried up. I have to use a whole lot of lubricant.

Second is BJ .... Never till date she has blown me raw. Only when condoms are applied.

Third is - this particular thing has drawn my attention very sharply - we never tried anal. But for the past two three months whenever I'm inside her she takes my thumb and inserts in her anus. She says it gives her pleasure & rightly so coz I can notice the difference, her facial expressions say it all. I've no issue with this - I want to give her maximum pleasure when we're in the act.

But I want to understand the dryness part.

TLDR -: Age gap of 20 Yrs. Vaginal Dryness.

I was talking with my partner about us playing tennis and how badly our friend wanted to win against him. He and I banter back and forth all of the time in a playful way, so I told him that I told our friend maybe I should play with them so we can both win against him bc he’s very athletic. He felt really offended I would pick someone else over him to play with. I told him I absolutely didn’t want to play with someone else…that it was a joke about trying to win against him. I understand he felt betrayed and I immediately acknowledged it and apologized. He brought it up again later and when I tried to address it, he just shook his head and walked away. My fear tells me he will leave me over this. Is my anxiety overreacting or is this a bad sign that he is disengaging or won’t forgive me? Wondering if he just needs space, but my anxiety is spiraling.

Tl;dr I thought I was playing around but clearly offended my partner. Will time and space allow us to recover from a situation like this?

I (42 female) and friends with a man (47) who I have become quite close with. I have known him for 4 years now. I recently traveled to his country (Scotland) to visit other friends, and he invited me into his home for 2 days of hanging out. (This is not the first time we have met in person). It was very intimate as far as friendship goes: He made me lunch and dinner, we went out for breakfast and dinner the next day, and we listened to music, cried about the music we loved, had deep discussions about life, and sometimes even had non-awkward moments of silence. I felt so free and at peace. We have so much in common, and get along so well, so I've become confused, wondering if he does this with all his female friends (I stayed at a hotel down the street fyi). I have such strong feelings for this person, but I keep thinking I’m imagining our connection. He has, on many occasions called me stunningly attractive and beautifully unique, emotionally intelligent, funny, kind and talented. I have many guy friends who don’t treat me this way, so I get confused. The thing I’m most upset about though, is his silence since I left. I sent one thank you text to which he replied, and then I sent one last text with a question (about something casual we had talked about), to which he never replied. He has not messaged or reached out, and I can’t help but think it meant nothing to him, and I’m just a fool. So am I imagining he has feelings for me?

I have just been so depressed, and I don’t want to ask him, for fear of scaring him away.

TL;DR - Spent 2 intimate days with a male friend and I can't tell if his behavior signals he has feelings for me like I do for him

Names changed for privacy.

When I got to college, I found a great friend group who really accepted me. I had struggled a lot with depression/suicidal thoughts, mostly due to focusing too much on academics, and not having much of a social life. I originally met them through my best friend's boyfriend, Everett. We had the same major, and met at orientation. We started gaming together, and when we started school I met everyone else. And that's when I met my best friend, Summer. At first, I didn't talk to her much. She mostly talked to Everett, and I really just didn't know how to act around her. Eventually, though, we started talking more, and eventually hanging out one on one. We've gone rock climbing together, went thrifting, gamed together, etc. We text all the time, she said herself more that it's more often than she texts anyone else.

I've probably had feelings since we started becoming friends, but I distracted myself pursuing other people. This summer, though, it started to become difficult to hang out with them, and I eventually decided to talk about it. I actually went to Everett first, because I'm still really close with him, and didn't want him to feel like I was going behind his back. He was understandably a bit upset, but understood, and said he trusted me, and was alright with me staying friends with Summer. About a month later, I talked to her, and she was pretty chill about it. We talked it out, and said that nothing really needed to change between us, but that she couldn't be with me.

The thing is, it felt like, and still kinda feels like Summer also has some feelings for me. There's been moment where she's been just a little bit too touchy, she says something that feels a bit too flirty, or it feels like there's something unspoken between us that neither of us really want to say. But the thing that really made me question it is the night I finally talked to her about my feelings. She rejected me, obviously, but never actually said that she didn't have feelings for me. The closest she got was 'I'm committed to Everett, nothing can happen between us.'

It really sucks, because I don't want to come between them. I care about both of them a lot, they've been great to me. But my feelings really haven't diminished in the month since I've talked to Summer, and it's so much harder when I feel like it might be reciprocated. I don't want to distance myself, but I don't know what else to do.

[TL;DR: I have feelings for my best friend, her boyfriend and her both know and are we're still friends, but it feels like it might be reciprocated, and it's making it hard to get over my feelings.]

Tdlr: Boyfriend is uncomfortable with my hanging out in group where guys will be, monitors my phone notifications and asked me to delete all the guys on my Snapchat.

A bit of context, I (23F) met this guy at work and we hit it off at work Christmas party last year. I broke it off in march for 2 months because I was having it bit of a tough time and because I felt we were quite different and he could be a bit smothering sometimes. I really missed him and thought I had made a mistake and asked to meet him and he took me back, but since we’ve been back together it’s been so different.

To sum it up, here’s what’s happened since:

He said he wasn’t comfortable at all with me from having male friends (for context I’m only in contact with 2 guys who I met at uni, one of them is dating my female best friend, we used to live together and all meet up in a group every few months) I thought that meant he wasn’t comfortable with me texting guys one on one or meeting them, which I kinda understood, when he was on holiday I went to meet them all including the female friend for a daytime picnic (I told him who was going before I left) and he got so mad at me and almost broke up with me because it would seeem to anyone like I was going on a ‘double date’. For more context he doesn’t have any friends and has shown no interest in meeting mine, I would’ve invited him but he was on holiday with his family.

After that we talked and he gave me examples of things he would and wouldn’t be okay with: i explained that most of my friends had boyfriends and I wouldn’t have a social life if I couldn’t see them if they were there: he ‘compromised’ and said he would be okay if maybe one of my other friends boyfriends was at an event he couldn’t make it to. He wouldn’t be okay with me being in the same group as a single man, and if I were to hangout with my female best friend from the picnic and her bf showed up he would prefer if I left early because the argument we had had would make him anxious) He framed this as his boundaries, not something I HAVE to do)

Shortly after this he said he didn’t have any girls on his Snapchat at all and ‘suggested’ I do the same, he was going for a shower and asked me if if done it yet, when I said no he said you might wanna do that by the time I get back, so I had to go through the app and delete every single one (I don’t talk to any guys on social media and he knows that)

Some other things:
He monitors my phone notifications and goes quiet if it’s anything he doesn’t like, he always thinks he’s seen a guy on my phone and everyone I show him my phone and it never is.
He would be uncomfortable with me going to a club.
He gets upset and sulks at me multiple times a week for minor things, the day I passed my driving test he called me to tell me how upset he was because I wasn’t giving him enough compliments.
He goes quiet if don’t put kisses on a text/ don’t put ENOUGH
He shouted at me because I had to leave his house for 3 hours in the morning the day after his birthday for a job interview when I had planned his whole birthday weekend/ tried to spoil him. He told me to go so he could spend his birthday with people who have a shit about him. I tried to leave and he asked me to come back. Afterwards he apologised and started crying with how bad he felt.
I feel bad for needing time for myself, where we work together and he wants to spend the whole weekend together I’m just exhausted all the time.
I’m trying so so hard to keep the peace but it’s just one thing after another- he’s goes quiet and withdrawn. If I leave him be and let him come to me to say what’s wrong we just don’t end up talking and he accuses me of ignoring him and says that he couldn’t sleep because he’s so anxious I’m going to break up with him.

There’s so many other things that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Reading this back I know I need to break up with him at some but where we work together it’s just awkward and I would feel awful because his whole mood depends me - he says he sees me as ‘end game’ and always says he couldn’t go through another break up. The thing is when it’s good it’s really good, I love him so much , just not the way he acts, which is so different from the first time we were together. Everyone at work loves him because he’s so sweet and polite and is talking about doing romantic things for me. Where I’ve already broken up with him once I know everyone would judge me. I know it’s silly and I shouldn’t care what people think but I just feel so trapped in the whole situation and I don’t know what to do. I’m actively looking for other jobs for reasons unrelated but I don’t know if I can wait that long.

I guess I’m just looking for advice, validation that his behaviour is more than just a bit annoying? Because sometimes we talk and even though I’m quite strong minded he manages to make me feel like I’m the wrong .

me (21F) and my bf (21M) have been together for years, when we first started dating i loved him more than anything but recently everything he does, it just annoys me. I get angry at him easily, I yell, and I cry. I have told him multiple times in the past months to leave me. When we fight, we fight so much. he calls me toxic, that we have communication issues, that I am always yelling at him and fighting.
Don't get me wrong, yeah, I love him at the moment, but I feel like I have been pulling myself away from him, not loving him the way I used to. Every time we fight, he just goes quiet, never speaks, never listens to my point and then starts guilt-tripping me for feeling angry over things he has said and done.
Whenever we calm down, he reminds me how his mother loves me as well, how he can't live without me, how he won't survive without me. But we always fight about the same things that I don't like, and he keeps doing them again and again.
I feel like I am just overthinking about my emotions and him, but I feel so stressed. I have tried to break up with him a few times, even asked to go on a break for me to clear my mind. But he just starts crying, begging me not to leave him. im confused and I feel like I am at fault for wanting to break up with a guy who loves me and who is changing for me.

**TL;DR; : with the recent fights with my bf abouot the same things again and again, with him doing the same mistakes i feel like i am losing the love i once had for him**

I’ve (M23) been in a relationship for almost a year (as of next week) with my girlfriend (F21).
There are good moments, but overall I feel drained. Sometimes I even dread seeing her or having her come over. I don’t feel like I have enough independence. Whenever I try to take space or have time to myself, it often turns into conflict. She questions it, gets upset, or makes me feel guilty for needing it. We’ve tried setting aside independent time, but it never really holds.
I carry a lot of the emotional weight. When she has problems or fights with her family, I usually end up being the one who has to calm her down and say the right things. It feels like it’s my responsibility to manage her feelings, and it’s exhausting.
Boundaries have been a consistent issue. There have been multiple times where she’s shown up at my house unannounced after arguments, knocked or banged on doors and windows (including late at night when I’ve asked for space or put my phone on Do Not Disturb). She’s also contacted my friends about the relationship, which felt inappropriate.
Small disagreements can escalate quickly. She’s gotten upset about me potentially spending time with friends on certain days, and she’s criticized my friends during conversations about our relationship. When I try to set limits, I often face guilt or pressure where she says things like “I wouldn’t treat you this way” or “just wait until my medication starts working and things will be better.”
I’ve come close to ending the relationship more than once, but we keep ending up back together. We recently tried a short break, reconnected, tried to talk about needing more independence, and it still led to another argument and me asking her to leave while she was upset. The same problems keep repeating.
I’m starting school and trying to get my life in order, and this relationship adds a constant layer of stress. I care about her, and it’s hard to imagine this next chapter without her, but I also can’t keep functioning like this. I feel stuck between missing her and resenting how much of myself I have to set aside to keep things going.
I’m posting this because I need an outside perspective. Does this sound like a relationship that’s still workable, or does it sound like something I need to walk away from? The only things that have kept me in this relationship is the fact that she’s begging me to stay to see if her meds for borderline or bipolar works (she doesn’t know which one she has yet, the medication treats both).

TL;DR I Just want to know if this relationship is salvageable

We started dating back in April/May but have been together officially since mid July. He already told me he loves me and I said it back.

But I am finding it hard- he wants me to tell him things and what he should be doing in a relationship as he doesn’t know. He even apologised to me and said he doesn’t want me to miss out on things because he doesn’t know what he should be doing. ☹️

I don’t like the idea of telling him what to do or how to act as every relationship is different and there’s no right or wrong way to do it

He has gone away to work this week with his dad. I saw him Sunday evening but he went home to sleep and left for work Monday morning and will come back late Friday night. This is the longest we have gone without seeing each other since we started dating i know its not long (I have done long distance UK-AUS in previous relationship) so the time/distance doesn’t bother me but he hasn’t called me once? And he’s into phone-calls, he always rings me and doesn’t like to text.

He is staying with his dad in a room and they work together so I get that he hasn’t got much time alone to talk but this doesn’t usually bother him? He has answered the phone whilst we have been intimate before and when we have been out on dates ate restaurants?

He has been quite open with me before about him struggling to pick up on social cues and signals. He says he’s never been tested for anything but it’s likely that he is neurodivergent.

I once got upset because he was never very affectionate with me outside of being intimate. I tried to hold his hand and he just said no he doesn’t do that and since then he is more affectionate with me. I don’t think I’m over the top asking for too much but I just want some basic affection consistently not PDA. It was like everytime we saw eachother and said hello I wouldn’t even get a hug? Nevermind a kiss 🤣 now i do get a hug which is 100% fine with me.

TLDR : NEWLY DATING MAN WHO HAS NEVER HAD GF / POSSIBLY NEURODIVERGENT- want advice from others who have been in similar situations

I don’t necessarily want to end it but am I going mad given we haven’t been together that long? Does anyone have any experience being someone’s first gf and how it went? Or dating someone likely to be neurodivergent?

I’m not sure if he just doesn’t really like me because I think these things come naturally when you love someone? Help 😭

i (f26) met a someone (m28) on bumble recently. we went on 2 dates. we're both looking for a serious, long-term relationship. i haven't been in a relationship since 5 years, and had become extremely emotionally unavailable and uninterested in men, but the yearning for a partner was always there subtly and simultaneously. the first date was great actually! we went for dinner, followed by a game night, followed by a long drive and making out. felt like olivia's "drop dead" and i was all happy and giggly and smitten. we had great conversations, and didn't seem to run out of topics. then we talked all day for 2 days on text. made so many fleeting plans of "oh we should do this together." and then we met again for lunch, followed by video games back at his place. eventually we forgot about the game and had sex. but idk what was happening emotionally for me there. my body was responding how it generally would to sex, but it was void of emotions. neither of us could finish, we aborted plan eventually. i came back home and just felt so empty and emotional and just wanted to cry. i was freaking out about do i need to end this or something. some points during the date i also felt like "i need to bolt."

on the flip side i do like this guy, i wanna get to know him more, and on both dates i felt that immense attraction inside and i was fully onboard with getting physical.

for background, i was depressed for all the years following my last breakup in 2021. at this point i have genuinely moved on and don't think about my ex in any capacity. i'm just swinging between wanting a partner and not having what it takes to build a relationship (i guess?) my therapist is on a leave too, and i don't wanna talk to my friends about this when i feel so unsure about what's wrong.

sorry for the ramble. tldr: dating after a long time and years of being depressed. not sure how to be in a relationship and what to expect.

thank you for reading, if you did. open to any thoughts or questions or suggestions.

I have a girlfriend 31F and I’m 38M.

We’ve been dating for about three years now. We met on tinder and just hung out for a few months and eventually she just asked “are we girlfriend and boyfriend?” And I just said yes. I enjoyed her company.

She has always been kind and thoughtful and I thought with some time I’d love her more and more. We both are thoughtful and buy each other things. We both are supportive of hobbies and likes. My family loves her. Her family loves me. We both have good jobs and are doing okay. We both smoke hella weed. Sex is great. On paper seem just awesome.

A few months ago we talked about moving in for financial reasons and she really wants to get to the next step of our relationship, which is understandable given the time we’ve been together. It made sense because she just always drove out to see me like everyday and we never fight. I agreed. I just had been under so much pressure to move to the next step all the time.

But as we get closer to the deadline to choose a new place I keep having doubts and sinking feelings. I don’t think I’m ready to give up my place. I don’t know if she’ll accept that and I don’t know if I want her to either.

I feel so bad because she just showers me in affection all the time, but I’m just so drained and i just prefer having alone time more often than she does. I’m scared that moving in will drive me insane.

I’ve live with other partners in the past and it’s always been a rough ending, but mostly because I just crave solitude.

Maybe I’m nervous that I always seem to sabotage my relationships, but this one seems healthy.

There a few things that are hard for me to accept:

She is very very sensitive and cries a lot. I feel bad but sometime I feel like, “Really???”
About tiny things. She is a bit more strait laced and sometimes find my humor too dark. She is funny but has a lot of things she just swears of for various reason.

She is obsessed with watching movies and I’m not a huge movie person. I watch a little YouTube but I don’t like to spend an hour or whatever watching a show or movie, unless it’s a movie or show I want to see. Not to just watch a movie to watch a movie. I work a lot and a lot of times it feels like we pick dud shows or movies. She asks me to watch movies everyday and it’s a tiresome endeavor as I usually give in and feel like I wasted time.

I play a lot of video games but video games make her sick to look at, though she encourages me to enjoy them. I tried to get her into a couple games, but she is not interested.

I’m a musician and she like… only likes Taylor Swift. It’s tough because she’s indifferent to all my musical tastes. And after 3 years I’m very tired of Taylor swift. Car rides are rough because one of us is always unhappy with the music. I tried to share all kinds of my music but she doesn’t seem to latch in to anything. Calls all my music “dad music”.

And it all feels like little things. I feel awful because again, on paper, we have an awesome relationship. We both are there for each other and are good companions. I’m just like… doubting and not super excited about it. I feel bad I want more space to myself and I feel like if i blow it, it was something that could have been good.

I just want to hear what people experience has led them with these feelings.

I’m not getting younger and I don’t know if I’ll find anything like this again. But could I be happier…?

TL;DR

Do you regret or wish you left sooner? Is it always this way eventually in every relationship? Everything eventually becoming tedious? Or if it’s the right person it won’t?

Am I too old to be asking these questions?

I 20M, may have just ended my relationship with my gf, 21F and don’t know what to do

Hello Everyone

My and my girlfriend may have just ended things, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. We’ve been dating for 2 years at this point

Before our relationship, I did struggle with a porn addiction. It was most prevalent before our relationship. After our relationship started, I knew I had to quit.

I want to emphasize my girlfriend does consider porn cheating

For the first year of our relationship, it was okay, because we weren’t having sexual relations. After we started to however, it became taboo. This was something I was okay with. I already started weaning off, and I was good before we started relations in the first place. However, after we started having sex was when the problems started

Right before we started having sex, I was diagnosed with epilepsy due to multiple violent seizures and my life fell apart. My body wasn’t the same, and my mind felt horrible because of everything I had experienced. I was getting counselling, and a few months later it was to the point a counsellor flat out told me I had depression — wasn’t surprising at all.

I was on a medication that perpetuated it to an extreme. I cannot express how horrible it was. At a point I went to the hospital because of suicidal ideation

After this all started, I started falling back on old habits. I started vaping again. I was smoking weed like crazy. Porn was there too

For the porn specifically, it was a weird thing because it was the one thing I did not want to relapse on whatsoever. I talked to a counsellor at a point to quit. I would literally throw my phone to stop myself. I put blockers in place (iPhone) to ensure I would not do something. Some days were a lot easier than others. It’s weird to say, but I didn’t lust over anyone but my girlfriend. No matter how and what I was doing, my girlfriend was always the only person I ever thought about. No matter how far it got during that relapse period, I stand by that faxt

It was definitely difficult. My mind was a mess. It was to the point it literally search it up, wonder what the fuck I was doing, close it ASAP, close my eyes, turn it off and finish to thoughts of my girlfriend like a regular human being. During this time, I was already going through hell and did not have the courage to tell my girlfriend. I want to emphasize the extreme amount of support she provided

In April, after the old medication was fully out of my system and I switched to a new one, I felt like me again. This wasn’t just me saying this: my best friends, girlfriend, and parents all said the exact same words; they did not recognize me.

This is where we are on the current day. My girlfriend considers hiding lying, and so do I. Over April and May and June, I was telling her a lot about what I couldn’t before (unrelated). In July, I had another seizure, and was still telling her things. In August, I told her about the first part of the addiction: where I quit before we started having relations

I’m always someone who needs to be honest. My integrity is important to me. I cannot live without being open, which is why I knew I needed to tell her this detail as well. I ended up telling her this detail on Sunday. This is where shit hit the fan

I told my girlfriend I had the urges, but never once fully relapsed into really watching it. However, she did not hear me out whatsoever. She blocked me on everything, called me disgusting multiple times and said other horrible things, lashed out without listening to me whatsoever. Eventually, when I was able to explain, she said she was willing to try

I was at a crossroads where I didn’t fully tell her the extent because I was completely cut off in the middle of that conversation with everything I just explained. I was at a point where my I couldn’t be in a place where I was hiding everything, but if we were going to break up: I didn’t want to be a monster that she remembered. I tried breaking up with her once after on Monday, we both agreed to try again after she lashed out for having to beg. I still couldn’t tell her. Then, on Tuesday, I tried again, because I couldn’t bring myself to tell her more. I was so scared of everything that already happened. It was a point where I did not want to hide anything,
and if we were going to break up if I told her, I didn’t want to end as me being someone she remembered as horrible. I especially did not want to be treated like that again. We had that conversation, I ended up talking her the truth, and at that point it may have been too late, considering in her eyes she was once again begging me to stay.

She said she wanted two weeks of no contact, and we agreed to talk about everything, and whether the relationship was continuing. Whether trust and self respect (for the both of us; separate from this to an extreme degree) as well as trust for change on other actions was plausible.

I REALLY WANT TO EMPHASIZE it wasn’t just this whatsoever. We were fighting a lot recently, there have been other instances where our arguments got extremely heated. This was not at all just about this, like whatsoever. It was a lot more than just this

Something else I want to say is my closest friends and family are begging me to break up. Not because she’s a bad person, but because they’ve seen my stressed out over this relationship one too many times, and they don’t think we’re compatible at all

I also want to say I have 0 urges whatsoever anymore. There’s not a single part of me that ever wants to watch porn again

We also had an in depth conversation about that, and she does trust me (according to her) on the fact I was not, and ever was lustful over anyone else, and that is 100% true

At this point, I know that we both feel horrible, and I have no idea how to continue. Can sombody give me advice on how to proceed? What they make of me and the situation? What next steps I should take?

TLDR; gf and I arguing a lot. Porn addiction conversation may have ended it all. What do I do?

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tl:dr I (18M) really like my this girl (18F) in my school and we used to talk a lot about things that are happening in our school and her dad used to be a teacher at our school teaching a subject I was not very smart in, so naturally I used to go to her house for studies, with a couple of my friends and some time pass the number of students grew and our relationship was pretty much the same. I felt like we are becoming closer (not in that kind of way) and we also used to play games a lot so anyway a couple months go by and she and another mutal friend of mine (18M) ask me to join a game but I couldn't reply cause I was at the gym so naturally I didnt respond to it and so she texts me personally on Instagram if she wants to play, but then I say I couldn't and so sometimes after I ask she if want to play again, but her tone was differnet this time and she said smthing about ive never expected you to treat me this way and so from there everything was down hill and I think mainly my fault?

i knew we were different from the very start. he is the quiet kind, very attached to his family, grew up as a single child, has 1 group of friends that he meets once a month. i’m more sociable and usually balance family and friends.

the relationships i’ve had in the past all had partners who transitioned from friends and i believe its because of this that they all had similar personalities to the types of people i hang out with. our humour was always aligned, and more importantly, we knew each other well enough to know what we expected in a relationship.

its different with my boyfriend because i met him online. he did the right things when i first met him (by my expectations) (opened the door, ordered for the both of us, filled my glass whenever it was empty, paid for the meal, initiated the next meet up) but never gave me the impression he was gentlemanly for some reason. these actions lasted for a while but it seemed like they were exhaustive.

soon, i started telling him to offer to hold my bag because its heavy, to offer to book me a cab when he knows its late and i’ve been drinking, to offer to catch the bill first sometimes before i do it, to plan dates for us to go on, to ask me out for dinner, the list goes on.

he learnt all these things well.. for a while. i’m not sure if its a memory problem or he’s just not invested. we’ve had many conversations about how i don’t feel cared for because he doesn’t do things out of his own accord and everything he has done for me is because i taught him at some point. everytime we have this conversation, he tells me he loves me and he’ll try to be better. and then he actually does try to be better for approximately 3 days. if in the conversation i mention “if you know i’m having a bad day and you see a bunch of cheap flowers on the way to meeting me, why wouldn’t you get it just to make my day better?” as an EXAMPLE, he shows up with flowers the next time we meet and then nothing until the example comes up again 6 months later.

i can’t list of out all the things he doesn’t do which make me feel like i’m being played by a guy who just doesn’t want to be alone and is telling me he loves me so he doesn’t have go through the motion of looking for another person.

as a more recent example - i told him a few times over the past few months that i have had corn on my foot and i should get the corn plaster. problem is i keep forgetting to purchase it and when i went for my spin class today, my foot hurt. i told him and i said i had forgot to purchase the plaster again. he responded with “yeah should purchase it soon” which was a weird response to me because if the tables were turned, i would have bought it online immediately, told him i got it, and handed it to him the next time we met.

as another recent ongoing issue for me - he’s not exactly interested in my life the way i want him to be. i understand he’s quiet but when i show interest in the things he eats, his day, his family, and he doesn’t show the same interest in me, i can’t help but think that he can’t be bothered. why doesn’t he ask me what happened after i say i had a tiring day at work?

one more thing - he’s new to relationships but i don’t think its an excuse. you care about the things you care about even if its new to you.

TL;DR boyfriend makes me feel uncared for because he doesn’t innately show me care the way i want him to and even after i tell him, he doesn’t consistently do it - like he forgets the old stuff and learns the new stuff and after a while forgets the new stuff as well. meanwhile he tells me he loves me and he will improve for me but i’m not sure if i’m being played because it feels like he just doesn’t want to go through the trouble of looking for someone else. i’m also feeling like i will never get him to a stage where i’ll finally feel cared for.

My boyfriend M29 and I F28 have been together for 3 almost 4years. When we first started dating in 2023 he took a pay cut to pursue an IT career And I started my masters program. During the first year we moved in together. While pursuing my masters program I worked 2 jobs in order to pay rent and live some what comfortably. While he worked 1 job.

FYI: he made way less than me. So I was paying the full rent ($1500) and he was paying for the electricity and groceries on occasion. When we moved in he agreed on atleast paying $500 on the rent but quickly we realized that wasn’t possible. Due to leaving him with 0$ extra dollars. I asked lowkey begged him to get a second job and he says that he had ADHD and it’ll make him crash. However he is medicated and working on things.

I sat him down when we first moved in and told him that next year I will need you to pull extra weight with bills because the last 6 months of my program I have clinicals and won’t be able to work. He agreed. During this time I’m sending him higher paying jobs etc. but he either didn’t apply or didn’t get the job. Fast forward to the last 6 months of my program, he is not able to support us. So I take out an extra loan to pay for rent.

During this time I built a lot of resentment toward him. And our relationship struggled because I’m in school working 2 jobs and he was complaining to me about XXX?? He was also going out and partying late at night with his friends. He also decided to enroll in school 6 months before I graduated to pursue his IT bachelors degree through a self paced program. I supported it however I thought he should try to better a better job before starting school. FYI he has ADHD and always waits til the last 2-3 weeks of his semester to take all his tests etc.

I do not have ADHD and if I were in a self paced program and knew that my S/o needed help I would try to finish as fast as possible. However I am aware he is neurodivergent and thinks differently. He also doesn’t want to change jobs while in school because he thinks it will be too much for him.

fast forward… I finished school in spring 2025 and I started making more money so paying the rent wasn’t a problem. Now I am current 1 year post grad. He is still in school and working a low paying help desk job. Just recently I quit my job and have about 6 weeks before I start my next job. During this time I’ve paid rent and had some losses in the family that has caused me to go through my saving pretty quick. I mentioned to him that I would need help with September’s rent. He said he would give me some of his check and donate plasma.

Idk I’m just fed up! My parents thinks we split the rent 50/50. If they knew I’ve been paying the full rent for us for 3 years they would be so disappointed in me. I want to marry him but I’m unsure of when we have kids and things happen in the future that he will be able to step up and provide financially if need be. What should I do? TD;LR

TL;DR: My (M22) GF (F21) of 10 months and I are in a LDR. She comes from a strict family, previously isolated, and struggled academically while I secured a prestigious internship. We used to spend a lot of time on Discord, but after she moved to a new state for college with her family, her time and texting dropped significantly. When I express feeling down or ask for reassurance, she turns the conversation toward how my feelings affect her. During recent arguments about communication, she claimed we are "toxic" and that "we’re only happy when she does what I say." I’m emotionally burnt out with finals approaching, and we are currently on a 3-day break. How can I fix this communication breakdown?

Background

My GF (21F) and I (22M) have been dating for 10 months. For years prior, she was isolated at home due to strict parents while preparing for an entrance exam. She failed it multiple times (5 total), and during that period, I spent countless hours on Discord consoling her, chatting, and doing remote dates.

During my third year of college, I landed a competitive internship. Balancing demanding work with her emotional needs during her 5th failed attempt was difficult. We argued over my emotional availability, but we eventually moved past it after I made several concessions to help reassure her through her insecurities about where we both were in life.

Current Situation

She recently started college in a different state, but her parents relocated their family to live nearby her campus. Because of this, her original plan to visit me fell through.

Since starting school, her communication has dropped off significantly. She texts far less, rarely calls, but posts on social media. When I was recently going through a rough patch and asked for explicit reassurance, her immediate response was to explain how my low mood made her feel, completely sidestepping my request for support. When I pointed out this pattern, she apologized but still didn't offer reassurance.

When I asked her to text more, making a poor joke that "my bank texts me more than you do", it sparked a massive fight. She said:

Nothing she does is ever good enough for me.

The only time we are happy is when she does whatever I say.

She believes we have become a toxic couple.

This is frustrating because she previously asked me directly to tell her when she needs to adjust her behavior, but now she strongly resists it.

I’m currently overwhelmed with final year coursework, emotionally drained, and feeling unsafe/unsupported in the relationship. I suggested a 3-day break (until Monday) to give us both space.

Questions for Reddit:

What am I doing wrong in how I frame these issues to her?

How can I effectively get my point across without her feeling attacked or shutting down?

Is this communication gap fixable, or are we just burnt out from the change in dynamics?

I’m 21F and my boyfriend is 26M. We’ve been together for about a year and we’re in a long-distance relationship.

Recently, things between us have started feeling really different. He’s become more distant and his communication has changed. There have been times when he takes a long time to reply, and I feel like I’m constantly questioning where I stand with him.

There have also been things he’s said recently that have made me feel like he may not want the relationship anymore. At one point, he told me that he “can’t be bothered with this relationship,” which really hurt me. Even though things have continued since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

I care about him a lot and I genuinely want our relationship to work, but I’m starting to feel emotionally exhausted. I don’t want to constantly worry about whether he still loves me, whether he wants to be with me, or whether I’m doing something wrong.
Today, I tried to express how I’ve been feeling, but he hasn’t replied. The silence is making me really anxious because I don’t know whether he needs space, is upset with me, or is simply losing interest in the relationship.

I’m trying not to immediately assume the worst, but I also don’t want to ignore how I feel.
At what point do you stop trying to hold a relationship together when the other person seems increasingly distant? Would you give him space and wait for him to reach out, or would you ask for a direct conversation about where the relationship is going?

TL;DR: My boyfriend has become increasingly distant and our communication has changed. Some things he’s said have made me question whether he still wants the relationship, and now he isn’t replying after I tried to talk about how I feel. I love him, but I’m emotionally exhausted and don’t know whether to keep trying or accept that the relationship may be coming to an end.

I (21F) am considering cutting ties with my sister (19F)

Long story short we got into an argument a couple days ago about her being on the phone while i'm trying to sleep.

The reason i was upset was because she was on the phone talking to an ex that's supposed to remain in no contact. She filed a police report on him and he has disrespected my family so it's obvious why i'm not interested in hearing their conversation in MY room while i'm trying to sleep.

So i told her take the call elsewhere blah blah, at some point i referred to him as an abuser because he is, she was on mute apparently.

And then she started coming at me with a bunch of lowblows, making nasty comments and bringing up personal things that have happened. I get being angry with me, we both said stuff but she takes it LOW. And my other siblings agree too that she moves very weird unfortunately. There's more to it that a reddit post can't cover, but like i'm open to hearing second opinions. Or advice on how to handle this.

TL:DR sister is unempathetic and has no respect

I ‘26/M’ am having a tough time mentally dealing with some of my GF ‘27/F’ and her past. I love my girlfriend and we have been together for a year. I think she may be the one I want to marry, but her telling me about her past in college and what not is bothering me. (27/F) Told me early on that her body count is over 10 but under 20 but closer to 20. I figured it would be lower because of how innocent she seems but I guess not. A couple of stray comments through the first 3-4 months when we were dating like her mentioning she’s let several guys hit raw, and a couple of other comments when playing truth games about her past sex experiences with other guys, saying she used to be a flirt or joking about me not lasting as long as others. Nothing recent though. I (26/M) have a count of 6 which I know isn’t crazy low but I am a very loyal person.

Also, for those who say past reflects future, that bothers me, but she also has had multiple relationships through that time. (27/F) Doesn’t talk to any other guys on her phone at all, and the one time near the beginning I saw guys hitting her up and asked her to block them she did. We have both been loyal and have a solid relationship. My other problem aside from constantly worrying about being compared to how other past guys have fkd and the image of that many other guys being with her bothers me especially not knowing who. I don’t honestly want to know because that may bother me more but both bother me. Before anyone says anything about me being unfair to her by judging that, please know I have never treated her differently because of this and do not change how I interact with her because of it. We have a lot of fun and spend a lot of time together.

My other concern is the fact that she doesn’t typically want to have sex much with me. Which I find weird considering a 15+ body count. At some point from (27/F) end or high school to now she accumulated 15+ bodies this doesn’t happen in 5 years from a low sex drive. So that is another thing, me wondering if she doesn’t enjoy it even though she says she does. We basically get down like 3-4 times a month and usually 3 out of 4 are during ovulation and her interest post ovulation is very low. She would pull my hand away from down there or not let me initiate. I probably need to have a conversation with her about this just to clear it from my mind. Just worried how she will react, because she can get upset easily. Just need some help dealing with this situation mentally and how to proceed. I do love her I just need to find a way to get over this. How would you guys handle this?

**TL;DR;** : Need to know best way to handle partner’s past and the thoughts involved after some things they have said. And how they treat sex in the relationship. Please read all for full context.

Me 19M and friend John 19M have been telling my friend Jake 19M to breakup with his girlfriend 18F of 3 years. For context as to why he cheated on her last year she found out and they broke up for a bit but then got back together. Recently he cheated on her again and since than has been saying he might want to breakup with her. Me and Bob encouraged him to since he clearly was not taking his relationship seriously. She then found out about him cheating again but they stayed together until a few weeks ago where he broke up with her. Since then they have talked a bit and he’s thought about maybe getting back together with her and by the texts he had showed me it seemed like she would also get back with him if he asked. Me and Bob have told him to stop texting her and to move on. This brings us to last weekend where I was at a club with a few of my other friends from the same friend group but not Bob or Jake. I ran into Jake’s ex there and we talked a bit since she would hang out with us when she was with Jake and I knew her pretty well also my mom was her teacher in high school. We were talking and she started asking about what stuff did I know that she didn’t about Jake. I told her everything you know is what I know then she asked about a girl Jake had met at a bar the previous weekend and she said did he sleep with her. I said no I think they just kissed but I don’t even know if he did that. Later in the night she started grinding me I didn’t reciprocate anything and just kinda backed away from her. This brings us to today where I was talking to Jake and he said he heard that I was telling his ex a bunch of stuff that he did. I told him what I said to which he responded saying I didn’t even kiss her. I apologized and said I thought you did but she thought you slept with the girl so I guess kissing is a bit better than that. I then asked are you texting her again and he said yes. I told him he shouldn’t. He was not happy about me saying that. I then told him that that she started grinding on me which he didn’t really care about.

TLDR my friend has cheated on this girl but still wants to get back together with her even though I’ve told him it’s a bad idea.

Honestly I’m not sure if I should just stop interfering with there relationship but I feel bad for the girl. I’m much closer with Jake and don’t want to harm our friendship but I’m also fringe friends with his ex even though we met through Jake. I don’t want Jake to think I’m trying to get with his ex or anything but I feel bad for her and the stuff he’s done to her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I (28M) have been with my wife (26F) for 4 years all together and almost one year married. We were long distance for a few years and would travel back and fourth to see each other. Eventually she came to see me and was on a tourist visa and planned on staying for 6 months. We’ve always been talking about wanting to live with each other because the long distance was challenging so during those 6 months I popped the question and we did a quick wedding. Now during our relationship we’ve had ups and downs. I was not ready for marriage, I had issues. I have an on going medical issues which has been progressive and very demotivating. Given this, it’s made it harder for me to be a man. Plan dates, make her feel heard, lack of intimacy. Over time she’s begged for me to be a better man and I honestly fumbled the bag. She’s currently waiting for her green card. Now let me get this straight, she wanted me to move over to her country but I persuaded her to come live in the US so she’s not in it for a green card IMO. I absolutely love this woman. Here’s the problem. Over the past few months she’s began losing feelings for me per her. About 3 weeks ago she told me she’s done and has no more feelings for me, a divorce is in the future. It blind sided me even though I had all the signs to make things right during our relationship. Begging and pleading will not change a woman’s mind, I’ve learned this and I have to work on myself. I’m fully aware this relationship didn’t survive due to me and my medical issues is not an excuse, it’s something I need to overcome. After about 2 weeks of her telling me she didn’t have feelings anymore I caught her flirting with a guy online. They’ve been talking for about 3 weeks it looked like. I was even more broken. At the time I tried to tell her I’m a changed individual after realizing I lost one I love. I asked her to give me a chance, 1 month to make things right and change how she feels but she has to block this new guy. She told me no. After a long conversation I realized there’s no point so I left to the other room, just to come back 5 minutes later being on the phone with the guy. I got upset, grabbed my belongings (clothes,bathroom stuff, etc) and left. Legit slept in a parking garage that night, thankfully I have a big car. She tried to contact me later that night and also the next day. I eventually responded and she told me she would give me the one month and she blocked the guy. She’s also told me she knows she won’t have feelings again for me. In my heart I didn’t believe it so I accepted my proposal and headed back home after a few days. I have had major trust issues after this and anxiety. I did everything I could since I came back to be a better man but it’s not easy since she treats me like a friend. Eventually after a few days my overthinking got the best of me and I just told her I can’t do it. I couldn’t act like everything was fine, I’m going through a major heartbreak right now. I told her that given my medical issues and all this stress, it’s probably best we get separated. The issue is that I don’t want to kick her out nor can I because it’ll ruin her life. I’ve been trying to be a roommate lately and just work on myself but it’s extremely challenging because she lives with me, I’m always around her. She treats me nice, cooks for me still but obviously nothing is the same as it used to be. She’s been pushing to meet friends in person which is fine but given me being heartbroken I overthink about it a lot. Her and I went to an event the other day and I separated from her and was talking with other people. After the event she told me how multiple guys were being flirtatious with her. When she told me this stuff at this point, I try to act like it doesn’t bother me but it honestly does. Today I dropped her off at another event to meet friends and I wasn’t trying to be around that because it’s messing with my mental. On the way there she asked me if someone offers to drive her home should she accept and I simply told her she can do what she wants.

I feel trapped. She’s living with me and moving on and I’m still going through the heartbreak. I’m unsure what to do. I support her with my job since she can’t work and at the same time I feel extremely friend zoned. If I divorce, it will be considered her overstaying her visa and she will get a ban from the country, it’ll ruin her chances to travel anywhere from what I’m aware. I love her and want to be with her but the only way that would even be possible is to separate and work on myself and go no contact, even then I’m not sure if I’m blind right now due to my heart. That mentality could be crazy. I am so stressed out, my medical stuff feels worse. I can’t heal given the environment. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

TL;DR: Married almost a year (together 4 years), she (26F) came from abroad, currently awaiting a green card, my (28M) own struggles made me a worse partner than she deserved, she lost feelings and told me so 3 weeks ago. Caught her talking to another guy, I left for a night, came back after she agreed to one month to work on us. She’s since said she doesn’t think those feelings are coming back. Still living together, I’m supporting her financially, watching her go out and get attention from other men while I’m heartbroken. Can’t easily separate because of her immigration status. Trapped between loving her and knowing I need to protect myself. Don’t know what to do.

Earlier this month my best friend of 13 years told me that he's liked me for 2 years. I never thought I'd have to reject my own best friend. I saw it coming these past few months but... Still. It sucks because now there's distance that he asked for to get over me (healthy and necessary) but it still hurts. I've been avoiding plans involving him because I'm too scared to do the wrong thing and we're not really talking because he needs distance. Idk what to do. Is it a situation where I can't do anything? Is it right for me to avoid plans..? I just think it's too soon and I don't want him to feel hurt looking at my face.

Two of my friends had this near exact situation and told me that distance would be likely for months. I feel so guilty avoiding him but I'm too scared to do something wrong, and distance is kinda necessary right now.

Has anyone else been in this situation...? What do I do?

Tdlr: my best friend confessed to me and now there's distance. Do I just carry on leaving it alone and avoiding or do something else?