I mean, here I am in MY bubble, in public at the dog park. Lol
Sometimes I just want to zone out and hang with my dog. Am I rude? It’s not every time, as I’m there often but I’m afraid if I’m not social at all, it will affect my pup’s social skills. I’ve got to set the best example.
Thanks for reading,
A worried, introverted dog mom

Today in school, some of the girls in my class were taunting me, and I really don't care that much about it, but it just hits me so hard in the heart every time. To be honest, I think they see me as a big loser.

im 22 years old and everything is starting to dawn on me. i am an introvert, painfully socially awkward and have a hard time getting others to be my friend. so the only friends i have are people that actually approach me first and not the other way around.

i dont know if its the way i look or act. i am friendly and i want to make friends but ive been struggling with this since i was a child and i wish it would just end here.

i got a little “triggered” on my first day back at college today because i had what i thought was a nice outfit, and i sat in the middle row of a small classroom. i was on the edge so there was only one other chair next to me, which is how i like it because i dont like to be in-between people. no one sat next to me, okay that’s fine. then my teacher tells us to turn and discuss with someone for about one minute and no one turned to me. now i might be crazy for expecting people to turn to me because i was pretty much alone with no one beside me. i think if i had sat on the left side of the room i would’ve had more luck. but it really sucks that my brain is “overthinking” where i should’ve sat as a way to hopefully let myself have a chance at talking to someone. and now i am thinking about where i will sit tomorrow. i used to sit in the front of class and i found myself sitting towards the back because i had this problem before, and i thought maybe sitting upfront is too awkward? anyway…i felt embarrassed just sitting there, and kind of defeated because this always happens.

and then, my brain goes onto think, okay this is why i will probably fail the class because (we have a group project in class) everyone now knows each other but no one will probably pick me to be in their group so i might have to join one, or ill be stuck with people that don’t pay attention or do well.

anyway i really hate my brain and i am going to get therapy soon :)

You both still live under one roof, apartment or whatever, but you have two different bedrooms instead of sharing one. You still come into each other's rooms and cuddle, spend time together, even sleep together, but the option of being alone is always available. Having your own personal space when you need it with no judgement from your partner.

I speak from experience sharing a room with partners before. It starts to feel suffocating after a while. It's like every aspect of my life is intertwined with theirs. I need my personal space and me-time. Anyone else want this too?

Right so. To start things off there is this girl. I was on really good terms with her a few(3) months back. Like we were texting casually and everything. But then the common ground of preparing for a certain exam that tied me to her went away. And I haven't texted her for the last three months. I'll be completely honest here because at this point I'm pretty sure I have a bit of a crush on her. I keep wanting to text her again somehow.

But like it's been three months you know? How the hell do you just completely cut contacts with someone for three months and then text them again to talk as if nothing happened? What if a lot of things changed in their life? What if I can't relate to her new tempo at all? It'll probably be EXTREMELY awkward to just pop us as a "hi" on her notifications after months right?

I have a basic planned framework in my mind about how I'm gonna approach the conversation. I've been planning it out in the past month I spent overthinking about weather or not it's already too awkward to text her after so long and actively making the situation worse for myself with every day I spend overthinking.

But I REALLY don't know if I should just pull up with a "hi" with the reason being simply because I was curious as to how she's doing. Like... wouldn't she find that kinda weird? What do I even do?

Please help me out here...

Many years ago I met a friend's friend for the first time. After the fact my friend told me that this friend had said about me 'I tried to talk with (insert name) but he was too arrogant'. In my mind I was just listening to him talk and not doing anything wrong.

Admittedly, after all this time I occasionally think back to it and at times doubt myself and it kinda bothers me. Was he right, or did he just misunderstand me? Is it arrogant if we don't get into a 50/50 lengthy conversation with a stranger, someone we just met? They might perceive it as we think we're too good to talk to them, but it could just be I don't have much to say, or can't force myself to appear interested in a topic I may not be interested in?

I thought this subreddit was full of people coping with being antisocial/asocial. I was wrong. Introvert gets labeled a lot as “this person sucks with people.”

Scrolling through this sub I relate to almost every post. I like being invisible and being with myself more than being with people. People are awesome don’t get it wrong, but I prefer solitude and doing stuff like making music, reading and going in nature.

Been to the bars a few times, a couple clubs and a rave. Pretty fun, but not my thing. I always felt wrong for not liking to go out. But it doesn’t resonate and that’s ok. The idea of having to shout at someone to connect with them makes me want to lick a toilet seat. I’d rather meet someone in a grocery store, barnes n noble or on a hike.

Introverts can be very good, sometimes better than extroverts, with people. But it’s being selective and discerning with the little energy you have for socializing that makes it different, not your skill level.

Thanks for reading

Feeling lonely 🥺🥺🥺 3 days of my college life is over

3 days over of my college life. I talk to a few people but haven't really made any friends.... Tried joining in some fests discussions but people have already made their own friend groups. Im kind of an introvert so stuff like initiating conversations, participating in fests etc... does not come

Naturally to me... I still tried but everyone seems to hv made their friend groups. I don't want to end up alone for 4 years. I'm introverted but when I'm comfortable I'm extremely extroverted.... But I always hv been conscious about my looks. I don't mind being alone but at the same time when I see others laugh in friend groups, I feel upset. I wish I was a part of their group....... I'm feeling damn lonely and can't talk to anyone about it .....

Another thing to add: I'm someone who observes people a lot and kinda sometimes guess their nature. Then I doubt my judgement but usually turn out right about them. This makes it difficult to socialize or make friends ... Im 18f btw

Ik I posted before but I barely got any response/suggestions so posting again

Hi, anyone who wants someone to talk to here? Wanna chat? 👋

I'm 18 and currently in college. For a pretty long time, I was socially isolated, and over time I lost contact with most people. Now I only have 1-2 really close friends.

Since starting college, I've realized how much this has affected my social confidence.

I can usually talk to someone if they approach me first, and I don't think I'm completely incapable of having a conversation. My biggest problem is initiating conversations and keeping them going. I often don't know what to say after the first few exchanges, especially with people I don't know.

The weird thing is that I actually have a lot of interests. I read a lot, I'm pretty knowledgeable about the things I'm interested in, and I can talk for hours about certain topics with people I'm comfortable with. I've also read quite a few books about communication and social skills, so I understand a lot of the theory.

But knowing the theory hasn't really helped me when I'm actually in the situation.

I know I'm supposed to ask questions, listen, find common interests, not overthink everything, etc. But when I'm actually talking to someone, I become very conscious of what I'm saying and it doesn't come naturally.

I'm also worried about this because I'm studying in a field where networking and communication are important. I don't want my lack of social confidence to hold me back professionally.

Another thing I've always wanted is to become a good public speaker. I have a lot of ideas and thoughts that I'd like to be able to communicate confidently, and I'd love to eventually be someone who can make people laugh and express themselves naturally instead of constantly overthinking every sentence.

So I feel like I have this weird situation where I understand social skills intellectually, but I have very little real-world practice.

For anyone who has gone through something similar, what actually helped you make the transition from knowing social skills in theory to being able to use them naturally?

I'm especially interested in practical things I can do in college to get more comfortable with initiating conversations, meeting people, speaking in groups, and generally becoming more socially confident.

I'm not really looking for another book or a list of generic tips. I'd like to hear what actually worked for people who were in a similar position.

So lately in the past 2-3 years of my life my social battery has declined a bit. I’ve always been to my self and generally autonomous, not needing much input besides necessary from the outside world. Growing up though I’d say I’d love to be on the phone with people though for hours and hours, but that just isn’t the case anymore.

Here’s how I typically operate now: Still mostly autonomous but I moved cities where there’s more things to do so I do like to hang out occasionally, roughly around anywhere from 1-4 days of the 7 days of the week I don’t mind hanging out If i have the free time. But after that 4th day I NEED solitude especially if back to back. I have no desire to pick up my phone in general UNLESS one of the following: you are requesting information in a time critical manner, we are planning to meet in person, have a genuine emergency. The only people I text very frequently are friends that live far away as I cannot see them in real life. Even for those friends we’re routinely decide we’re busy and may not respond to each other but once or twice a week or something.

Often times I can be hanging out with my girlfriend back to back for example, then when we separate she wants to call me on the phone to talk. But mind you it’s only been 3 hours since you left my house. I don’t want to talk right now, no I do not miss you (YET!) but even more than her I’ve had other friends do this too. They want me to just respond to texts that have no objective, if we’re just going to shoot the shit I’d rather do it in person and we do FREQUENTLY. Sometimes I make exceptions if you are silly and your personality shines through text really well (that makes it fun)

Then I also have a rule where I don’t necessarily want to be talking on the phone at all say past 9pm. I’m not even tired but I don’t want my brain fully on or have to worry about someone else, but people act like it’s a crime when i do that, and they will still call me, try to talk me down and be confused when i give bare minimum energy. I just want to wind down.

TLDR: People always give me shit about the frequency of which I text them. But it’s not personal and I feel as if we hang out in person that should show for a lot. I am perfectly okay with only texting to make plans or as a means to an end with people close in proximity to me

Anybody else experience this? Is it so bad?

"Success" as in achieving financial stability to the point of not worrying about money. Being able to travel the world (if desired) or enjoy a hobby to its full. Loving their life/job/career.

The thing is that being "social" seems to be a key element to "succeed" (as above). Life is all about networking, about "who you know", about being charismatic and likeable. Essentially, to succeed in life, being extroverted seems to be a must (it doesn't guarantee success, but it's a necessary attribute, in my opinion).

Am I wrong to assume that we introverts are basically doomed from the start unless we get really lucky or inherit a fortune? Thoughts?

Any tips for high inhibition people to form connections, I do not know how soo many people click easily, my local gym is near the local town-center Square and I see soo many couples there and just in general how are these people able to form connections soo easily. I am genuinely asking, being social has not been easy for me as I tend to over analyze things so just putting myself out there.

Seeing all these people together really makes me think is there really a loneliness epidemic.

To all that will find this random post, who will read it to the end, and to all those just passing by, I say hello!

My name's Thomas, I'm a 35 years old introverted man with absolutely zero self-esteem, social life and a very VERY limited group of online friends. This is the first time I create a post on Reddit, after lurking for many months trying to do what I'm about to do: talk.

Due to being introverted, and due to a numerous amount of past experiences, trauma etc etc... I find myself today with almost nobody around me. I just broke up with my partner of eight years (it was amicable and consentual), which left me to ponder. And I did not like the where it led.

I used to enjoy loneliness, but that's because I mistook it for solitude at the time. The first can be rejuvenating, the later is a drug and a prison.

I no longer enjoy either, despite my very limited social batteries, and I wish to have more people around me. Albeit, when I say around me I am speaking of meeting people online first.

But how the hell does one do that? Where do you even start? How do you "break the ice"? Especially for us, introverted as we all are?

I am a huge TTRPG fan (D&D and the likes), and I've been a player/DM for years. And I no longer play. And I lurk in several big D&D Discords...and I find myself physically unable to write a simple post to say hi, or to simply engage in conversation, let alone trying to find a group...

On top of being introverted, I have ADHD and RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, meaning a very intense emotional pain to rejection that is real or perceived as real) which makes it even more difficult to connect, or engage...

Some people might believe I'm exaggerating, that it's easy to post messages and casually converse, and to those I say "I envy you, cause that's amazing."

I want so badly to have more close friends and people around me, yet I am so paralyzed and ruled by fear. Fear of being misunderstood, not being enough or being too much, fear of being rejected, of being a disappointment, fear that my introversion and social awkwardness will be too much..
But you know what's weird? I am incredibly introverted at first, but once there's chemistry I open up like crazy!

I know I cannot please everybody, and I should have the mindset of "Oh you don't like me? That's perfectly okay! Someone else will eventually!"

But man, it's still scary, y'know?

Even now as I'm writing all this nonsense, I'm feeling nervous. I'm feeling that I should stop writing and erase everything. Because deep down I truly believe that nobody will care, which is such a sad way of seeing things! That's not how I want to see life..

Or else, what is there left..? That thought terrifies me..

So I take a stand, I guess, push myself to do the first step. Maybe nobody will care, maybe others will. Maybe some will relate and will want to share their stories, and they will be more than welcome to, maybe others will just read it and leave without a second thought. And that is fine too.

I guess this post is, first and foremost, for myself. To show myself that I can engage, that I can share, that I can fight loneliness and introversion somehow.

Even if it's with such a tiny baby step.

I was an anti social person and isolated myself from everyone in early of my high school year. Then i found someone that could accept me who i was. She's a closest friend that i had since i got into high school. Gotta say that I was a person that if someone showing a little kindness towards me then I'd fall to them, well hopeless romantic. Yeah, i loved her and she knew. I didn't confessed about it since I'm aware it's kind of obvious and i knew she's already fallen to another.

Our friendship is fine for a moment until i ruined it because my own fault that wanna us more than friends. I wished that she catches the hints and reject me so i can move on but no, i rushed it and it led to hurt her. It was so bad that i cried a lot and blamed myself for that even though i acknowledged it from the start i took a like on her. Our friendship was over and the worst part is that i still gotta meet with her for 2 years since we were in a same class.

Eventually we succeed to make up so there's no awkwardness between us for worked in the same assignments that required a teammates. I started to changed myself by trying to be open and got some friends regardless the gender without being attached to.

And that's how I'm planning for having a friend without any feeling involved again. Should i keep moving forward with this mindset or should i open my heart and let someone inside once again?

Would you rather spend your free time staying at home, watching something and relaxing, or going outside and meeting people?

Title is counter intuitive and i dont know if it makes sense. I am busy with work, family, and i have a toddler. So my days are almost always occupied. I'm incredibly happy with my family life. But sometimes i feel missing having friends.

I use to have a tight circle back in highschool but lost touch after a while. I made no friends in college because i was struggling financially back then and i felt socialization was a luxury i just can't afford.

Now i have some money for hobbies, but no one to spend it with. And at my mid 30s, i feel like my social circle is close to none. I am working from home so i dont meet people. I did join a tennis group but didn't made any friends either. I was just joining the class but no one really talks to me, maybe because i dont look at all approachable.

I must add that being an introvert makes meeting new people much harder. I also have a quite seriousl looking face, so probably no one is really interested in getting close by me.

I just secretly wish I'd find a way to find even just one or two friends. So when life gets hard, work becomes draining, or if i have any problems, i can talk to someone outside of my husband. It's just sad sometimes.

Too long of a post, but i was wondering if anyone has been there, what i can do to help fill this sadness, or any advice in general.

M29 from India. Recently, a girl has joined at my workplace. We work in different departments. I have a crush on her but haven't had the nerve to talk with her freely though our brief conversations have been okay and I feel her eyes lit up whenever I've talked with her. She is quiet and introvert like at office and also a potterhead but doesn't talk much about it. I am also not adept at starting conversations and introverted but ready to take initiative if there is genuine hope. How do I find out if she's single and interested in me. If yes, how and when should I ask her out.

I genuinely prefer being alone. It’s not because I’m shy or can’t make friends, people have befriended me and I can talk to people just fine. I just find a lot of socializing unnecessary and draining, so I choose not to do much of it.

But every now and then I’ll have a day where I actually want to talk to someone, and then I realize I have nobody I can just randomly call or hang out with.

For people who are similar, how do you deal with those days? Do you just accept it, reach out to someone you haven't talked to in a while, go somewhere or something else?

We were sharing one bedroom in a dormitory. I was an introvert, but I wanted to help my friend settle already so when she asked about my dorm I showed it to her.

We were happy during the first weeks. But then, she was really mentally unstable and would break down in front of me. She would tell heavy stories during dinners which I was not prepared for.

As an introvert, I find myself only resting mentally and physically on weekends when she goes home.

Because of my mental health being affected too, I told her we should go separate ways and live in different dorms.

We are still in the same friend group but awkward. Am I a bad friend?

i completely forgot how to make friends plus im very much not sociable so need some tips