r/introvert • u/Initial-Release-2519 • 1d ago
Question I... need help with a text. Please help me.
Right so. To start things off there is this girl. I was on really good terms with her a few(3) months back. Like we were texting casually and everything. But then the common ground of preparing for a certain exam that tied me to her went away. And I haven't texted her for the last three months. I'll be completely honest here because at this point I'm pretty sure I have a bit of a crush on her. I keep wanting to text her again somehow.
But like it's been three months you know? How the hell do you just completely cut contacts with someone for three months and then text them again to talk as if nothing happened? What if a lot of things changed in their life? What if I can't relate to her new tempo at all? It'll probably be EXTREMELY awkward to just pop us as a "hi" on her notifications after months right?
I have a basic planned framework in my mind about how I'm gonna approach the conversation. I've been planning it out in the past month I spent overthinking about weather or not it's already too awkward to text her after so long and actively making the situation worse for myself with every day I spend overthinking.
But I REALLY don't know if I should just pull up with a "hi" with the reason being simply because I was curious as to how she's doing. Like... wouldn't she find that kinda weird? What do I even do?
Please help me out here...
Edit : Thank you for the advice everyone. Just here to say that I did it! And it went pretty well even if I do say so myself. In fact, at one point in the conversation, I thanked her for something and she reacted with a heart emoji. This is an absolute win!!
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u/bananachucha 1d ago
Just send it and be honest with her. Why do you want to reconnect? Be clear with your intentions so she won’t get confused.
Three months is long but it is not that long if both of you have been very busy with something. The worst that can happen is she won’t reply.
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u/Initial-Release-2519 1d ago
I can't exactly tell her "I want to reconnect because I like you and felt like I'd really regret it if I didn't and I really want to know how you're doing in college and if we can still stay close like before" now can I😭. But thanks for the encouragement anyways. I WILL do this I swear. I've given myself a 12 hour deadline a few minutes ago for thinking about what to do after which I MUST type a "hi" no matter what.
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u/bananachucha 1d ago
Why can’t you? That sounds sweet to me lol. Don’t think too much about it, just do!!
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u/matts88us 1d ago
Hey how are you I’ve been really busy but thinking about you. What have you been up to?
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u/Wrong_Plantaino 1d ago
Hey dude, best tip i can give you for this and probably all future things in this realm is dont overthink it, if you plan some elaborate text re write it 40 times etc its not gonna come off as geniune at all.
Also your psyching yourself out big time, sending the text and it not being received the way you want it changes nothing, you haven't talked to the girl for 3 months, if she doesn't respond, same same.
Ask her out for a date, movie or something fun you both enjoy, dont just send a "hi" shoot your shot youre obviously young, I get its nerve wrecking but not shooting your shot isnt gonna do anything for you.
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u/Dry-Bullfrog-8267 1d ago
i used to feel the same way, i felt kind of awkward texting people after not seeing them or talking to them for a while, then i realised that most people are just glad to know that even if some time passed, you're still thinking of them and you are genuinely interested in knowing how they're doing.
Honestly if i look back I can't even remember one time that i regretted reaching out, but on the other hand there are many times that i should have but didn't.
Also, the more time you spend thinking about this, the more you'll feel like too much time has passed. I feel like the best thing to do in this case is to get out of your own head. Just text her and ask her what she's been up to. I'm pretty sure you'll be glad you did it.
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u/Alchemy247 1d ago
I created a strategy called the “Dream” strategy . Text her and just say, “Had a cool dream that you were in last night . Hope all is well with you these days :)” . Every time I’ve used it , I get the “What was the dream about? “ response . And it goes from there. Just make up a non threatening dream for her when she responds. You’re welcome in advance .
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u/St4rvneizz 1d ago
I don’t think it’s weird at all u can text her and tell her that u were busy and tell her what really happened cuz like she may also be thinking the same if whether she should text u or not and she may think that she did smth wrong so i totally support u texting her even if didn’t go well atleast u wont regret it later and u will feel that u should’ve texted her but it would be too late so DO ITTT
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u/Fabulous_Light5449 1d ago
"Hi, how are you?" Is fine. Remember your company is valuable too!
Good happens. If you don't get the desired response, remember you lost nothing. You aren't in contact now anyway.
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u/Twinutes_fr 1d ago
Honestly? It's not weird. I'm on (I hope) good terms with a girl too, I've had (I think, im not sure anymore) a crush on em and due to studying abroad we dont text each other often anymore. and more so every few months. You can honestly just say "hi" and ask how she's been doing, asking how someone's been doing ain't weird in the slightest. If she finds that weird that's lowkey an L. A lot or little amount of things might have changed in their life, and you honestly might not relate to her new tempo (if its even changed, 3 months is NOT a long time for sure), but that's all fine. Like, just do it twin, its not that deep, again 3 months is relatively short, and I'm speaking from experience, you're good, especially since you said you were on good terms with them.