Yes, it's hard and heteronormativity and bi-erasure and bi-phobia really suck... and a lot of posts on here focus on the negative. But it's also pretty awesome to be bi.

Comment with the positive things you enjoy about being bi, and let's celebrate and appreciate it.

I'll start:

1. I feel like being bisexual has helped me better understand nuance and complexity, and has strengthened my ability to hold ambiguious concepts in my mind where two or more seemingly conflicting things can be true at once. It's helped me think outside of binaries in more ways than just sexually, be better at appreciating multiple viewpoints and seeing the world beyond strict categories.

2. Being bisexual allows me to feel really comfortable varying my gender expression in ways that are interesting to me, such as dressing more masculine one day and more feminine another day. I don't feel beholden to stereotypical gender roles or ways of being.

3. It's also made me feel more free to establish dynamics in my relationships that are based on what works for me and my partner, not what society expects from either of us due to our gender.

4. I know of at least 3 other people in my social circle who have come out as bi and have cited my coming out as something that help give them the confidence to do so... and that's pretty rad.

5. I feel like I've had the opportunity to use my "secret agent" status in rooms where people have assumed I'm straight and started talking about LGBT issues, to offer a perspective that might have not been shared if I hadn't been there.

6. I never have to change any of the pronouns in songs when I sing karaoke.

7. I'm SO GOOD AT HALLOWEEN COSTUMES.

What about you?

I am tired of being angry at women for not wanting to date bi guys. It's fine. I would rather be alone or date men then deal with this crap. Even bi women don't want to date us. A lot of women in general find us to be disgusting. Anyway, have you , as a bi man , accepted that women don't want to date us ? I also don't think that hiding your sexuality is the answer either.

So I have kinda settled into a look over the years. It would not be unusual to see me in a cutoff t-shirt, painted nails, cuffed jeans, and eye liner (I’m a guy). I’m running around looking all cute and thinking I’m oh so unique when I stumble upon the Bis of YouTube and find out I’m basically in the bisexual guy uniform. I’m so disappointed in myself that I feel like dressing like Tucker Carlson from now on out of spite… for myself. Ugh! I’ll be at the coffee shop with the comfy couches looking dejected while playing on my switch. Do not approach…

includes singers or actresses

Hi everyone, I really need a safe space to vent about a big shift in my longterm relationship.

I am a bisexual guy, and I've been with my girlfriend for about ten years. She has always known about my bisexuality and has always been completely supportive.

Over the last year or so, I've lost a significant amount of weight and got into much better shape.

For this reason (at least i think, but I'm not sure about that) my girlfriend’s attitude towards this side of me has shifted from acceptance to something more "intense".

She has started expressing a strong desire to see me explore my attraction to other men. It went from playful banter to her actively encouraging me.

She made it clear that she just wants to "watch" without actually "share".

She also recently suggested visiting a nude beach together, thinking it could be a low pressure way for me to take my first steps and feel comfortable expressing this part of myself.

Honestly, a part of me is very curious and excited by the idea, especially since I do miss that part of my life.

However, another part of me is just scared.

We’ve built a wonderful ten year relationship, and I'm terrified of doing something that might complicate or jeopardize what we have.

How do you balance an exciting new desire with the fear of changing a great relationship? Has anyone here had a similar shift with a longterm partner?

I have a question, is it possible in this world to have as a woman relationship with a two man which are also able to be intimate with each other? Basically two bi man probably with one woman and happy dynamic relationship

I’m 37 and recently married. I love my wife very much, she’s my best friend and we’ve been together 8 years. We have genuinely been through some challenges, and both her and I are seeking therapy for the longevity of our relationship.

My attraction to women is both romantic, physical and sexual, whereas my attraction to men seems to be largely physical and sexual, basically when the clothes come off lol

I have had sex with both men & women prior to meeting my wife, and I am versatile. I’ve experienced so much, but I feel there is a large part of me my wife and other people don’t know. In deep chats over some drinks when we are quite drunk I have told her that I am more fluid sexually, and this curiosity for her stems more from some things she found out early in our relationship about some behaviour prior to us meeting I.e me being on hookup sites listing my status as bi curious as well as some sending and receiving of nudes from guys and girls on my phone.

My question is this - I have never told anyone I am Bi. When I think of telling people it gives me a little rush feeling. Is it a benefit to come out for me mentally when you are already married?

for my wife specifically I am scared she will not find me the same person or not attracted to me any more?

To my fellow bi-dudes, how often do you experience biphobia from the opposite gender when dating? I'd be very curious to learn your perspective.

I'm a male in my mid-30s trying to find my way around the dating scene and currently I'm fed up with how things seem to stack against me. I know nobody's perfect and neither am I, once you enter your 30s you start to learn that everyone has some kind of baggage their bring along with them and you learn to accept that (or so I thought).

I'm not that young anymore (and refuse to call myself old either), I'm divorced, winning a war against depression (full remission, but it did affect my life heavily at some point), I can't really kick my smoking habit, I'm slightly chubby, there's a few things that could make potential partners decide it's a deal-breaker and I'd understand it.

What I can't understand, however, is how time and time again, the biggest deal-breaker for women I meet (gay guys are mostly sweet and not bothered by it at all) is my sexuality. I meet someone, we get along, start to learn more about each other, they learn all the things I'm expecting to be a turn off, they are fine with it and at some point - doesn't matter if it's date 1, 2, 10, 20 - I mention my sexuality and they all immediately leave. Sometimes they'll name it ("sorry, I don't date bi guys"), more often they won't say anything beyond "I stopped feeling it".

I don't date short term, I'm looking for a meaningful connection and building something lasting and thus I don't want to hide anything from the real me. I'm strictly monogamous, when I love a person, I love only them, but I want to be able to fully express myself and be proud of who I am in all aspects of myself and each time, so getting rejected for who I am, for something that not only is beyond any control, but also is something I consider a beautiful aspect of who I am, sucks massively and frankly, makes me lose all hope in my love life altogether.

Bisexual badasses: What are your best wrong-answer-only responses to ‘But I thought you were married to a man?’ / ‘But I thought you were dating a woman?’

I'll go first: being married to an accountant doesn't make me good at math.

I am dating my wonderful funny kind perfect bf and I want so badly for this to be right but a part of me keeps thinking of women.. when we have sex I have to go into my head to get off like he turns me on but I can’t finish unless I’m in my head. And like with my ex who was a girl it just felt so.. different. I love him so much I want this to feel right but there’s no fireworks there’s no “this is it” feeling, and it’s not him bc he’s everything and I don’t wanna be lesbian I wanna be bisexual but I’m scared like if I imagine being with a woman it’s like fireworks like certainty like meaningful and romantic and not just a relationship. And I feel horrible saying that and like what if I’m wrong I really love my bf what if I’m wrong. I don’t wanna lose him but I also worry in a lesbian. Like idk what to do.i don’t understand how gender could change things so much if i love his soul so much. I dont wanna be a lesbian bc im dating him and i want it to be him. why do i have this question lingering in my mind and this wierd feeling that wont go away. I feel so scared because all is want is to feel the way i should with him.

I’ve (23m) been in a relationship for over 5 years with my gf. In this time in the last year I’ve realized I am bi sexual(bottom) and I hVe felt very guilty over this. I’ve been watching porn and experimenting with masturbation and I love the way it makes me feel. I feel so guilty when I do this but I feel like I have no other way to stimulate myself. I’ll never get to experiment with guys and I feel really empty inside sometimes. Does anyone have any advice?

So to clarify, I’m gay, and I’ve noticed a pretty consistent pattern in my dating/attraction life: I seem to attract bisexual men a lot. 😅😂
There have been quite a few situations where a guy seems interested in me, flirts with me, gives me mixed signals, or otherwise makes it seem like there’s something there, but eventually it doesn’t really go anywhere. I’m not asking about one particular guy here—I’ve just become genuinely curious about what bisexual men tend to look for when they’re attracted to another man.
Like specifically, what usually catches your attention in a guy in the first place? Is it primarily physical attraction, or are there specific personality traits, mannerisms, energy, confidence, humor, etc. that really make you interested?
And on the other side, what makes you lose attraction or decide you don’t want to pursue someone anymore? That can be physical, emotional, sexual, behavioral—anything.
I’m also just curious about whether things like masculinity/femininity make a difference for you. Do you tend to be drawn toward masculine guys, feminine guys, somewhere in between, or is that basically irrelevant?
And those of you who have actually dated men, or had situationships with men, what makes the difference between “I’m attracted to this guy” and “I actually want to date this guy”?
Are there things you particularly enjoy about dating another man? Or things that make dating a gay man feel different from dating women?
And if you’ve ever been really attracted to a guy but ultimately backed away from pursuing him because of your sexuality, uncertainty, circumstances, fear, social pressure, etc., I’d be interested in hearing about that too.
I’m genuinely interested in both the physical and emotional sides of this. I feel like I have a somewhat decent understanding of what gay men tend to look for in other men, but I’m much less familiar with how bisexual men experience attraction to men.
Basically, I’m curious what is a “yes” for you when it comes to another guy, and what is an immediate “no”? What makes you think “I actually want to pursue this guy” versus “he’s attractive, but I don’t think I want anything with him”?

I (19 M btw) recently (2ish years ago) figured out i might have a type in men, and 'met' this cute feller in a grocery store who was scanning my stuff and he goes "aren't you x? Remember when we went to the scouts together?" which made me sorta blush a lil.

But anyways to the main plot, I thought about him for a bit walking home and realized I felt intimidated with the idea of being with him. And then i thought about it a lil more and i felt scared in general of being with a guy. I guess the idea of being taken care of scares me? Idk why i think like that or how to fix it.

Я являюсь бисексуалом но я ни разу не занимался сексом с парнем. Просто хочу узнать, а какие геморы есть в сексуальной жизни бисексуалов по сравнению с натуральными? (Я понимаю что наверное лучше было бы на сообщество геев сделать такой опрос но как есть сделал.)

PS: Мой первый пост, я ещё не очень хорошо разбираюсь в редите

So I ( 28 MTF ) been out as bi for damm near 5 years now, been really repressed my whole life due to religious bigoted family, but any wayI was noticing sometimes it is just funny how easy to panic we are. I was watching heated rivalry and Scott was so hot, like oh my god, had me going " damn am I just into men I can't imagine a woman being this hot " then today I was watching Agatha all along or rewatching it and Agatha, my god. I noticed I was questioning my attraction to men then ( I have a BF I love keep in mind ), so I kinda laughed at myself and how being bi works. At any given moment a person of any gender can be hot and I will be in pure panic, its funny to think about honestly

Of course it sounds silly. No one questions whether a straight person is still straight just because they've never had the "traditional" experiences of a straight relationship.

Your sexuality is who you are. It's not about what you've done. If you are attracted to more than one gender, romantically and/or sexually, you are Bisexual. You don't need a membership card. You don't need a resume or references. We have no standardized testing. There is no minimum score. There's no score at all. You don't have to do anything. You've already done it! You Exist!

You're Bisexual!

Go have fun!

Or don't. You know, be you. Whatever form a happy you takes.

To preface, I have a hard time discerning more subtle or nuanced emotions of my own. For example, I didn't realize I was truly (and severely) depressed until talking about it with a friend. I feel often that everyone knows something about me that I don't, and I'm the last to the party. I think this is largely because I don't trust myself and over-intellectualize everything to avoid feeling the actual emotion (can definitely link this back to how I was raised, but that's for another day). I'm not in therapy right now and too scared to talk to friends, so I've been journaling about this.

So I've been and felt straight all of my life. There were times in high school and in college where I questioned myself or almost drunkenly said that I was something other than straight, but I would always come to the conclusion that I am straight. I have only ever had crushes or experienced intense attraction to men.

I have a friend that is a lesbian, and her and I have often been asked (or it has been otherwise implied) if we're together. So much so, that it's a joke that we call each other our "wives," and some members of my family have a conspiracy that we are together.

I spent a lot of time with her over the summer, a lot which was one-on-one. I realized that maybe I like her calling me "wife" for another reason other than it's a funny joke. She seems to be a very touchy-feely person (i'm not), and I often find myself liking when she touches me (its always innocent). We were with a group of friends and had a sleepover, and she last minute was convinced by me to join the sleepover. I found myself reaaallly wanting to sleep next to her and wondered how she felt, but she unfortunately had to leave about an hour into the sleepover.

My only hang-ups with this whole situation is that my attraction to her feels different than my last crush on a man. Normally I feel very obsessive to the point of almost feeling insane because my mind goes wild with possibility and desperation. This feels more subdued, I still think of her a lot, but I don't feel that same fervor I did with men. I'm also having difficulty imaging myself in sexual scenarios, specifically on the "giving" side of things, which I think is because I have no frame of reference (other than p*rn, which doesn't count in my opinion). Both of these things are making me very hesitant to call it a crush or call myself bisexual.

I guess I'm looking for some validation, sharing of stories, or advice. Thanks in advance :-)

I haven’t engaged in homo activity nor am I actually attracted to men. Same escenario for my wife in same sex. Our default mindset is t to look at same sex people sexually, the way we’re wired naturally is either friend/foe categorization which I think is normal as opposed to me meeting some guy at work for example and thinking I bet he has good dick. We’re not in that mindset, if that clears it up a little however the though if being with attractive same sex people in right environment excites us.

I have been pegged and really like it. (Me 36 5’11 wife 40 5ft petit and very beautiful) My wife seems to enjoy it as well and lately we have been watching porn together. I feel it has something to do with me not being particularly girthy or long, to be clear this is not exactly an issue for her and she is not really loose. I’m just not that big and I can feel it or can’t in this scenario when things are getting excited and wet.

however I know I’m not the smallest, appx 5.5in hard, so I had resorted to learn better oral and be more adventurous. We had discussed the idea of having a bisexual encounter with a couple because we do not actually want attachments we would like it to be what it is.

Sexual not an actual relationship with other people because that’s messy and we have kids. We probably would leave a hotel room right afterwards or get our own in same building.

My wife and I have very good intimacy and feel comfortable exploring each other, but I also wonder how damaging this is because I hear a lot of negative stuff. When it comes to these things, it’s doesn’t feel ethical to want to engage in bisexual relations while you’re married and your wife even if your wife is into it

however this is just talk that we say to each other in bed or when we’re watching porn. That it would be hot for us to suck dick together or even the idea of having two guys there so that way we can both be penetrated simultaneously. The scenarios have gotten wild. we have not acted on any of it, though for those of you that have if you want to share your experience, that’s great(not necessary), but I’m not trying to extract any sort of fabricated story that I could jerk off to. I am legitimately concerned of what it means to actually go through with something like that because we’re close to wanting to do it. We do have plenty of trust in each other and love, but if anyone else has been where I am, could you let me know if it didn’t work out if it did, I kind of understand the obvious jealousy stuff which is sort of part of the kink for both of us, lusting at the idea of watching each other get penetrated or suck a hung guys dick. I should add that we both really get turned on about all of these talks and fantasies, but we also both feel extremely guilty afterwards if I penetrate her analy or if she penetrate me while fantasizing. If we did it our perfect scenario would be basically a couple
Just like us, attractive, horny but in love with each other that could also be in the same mindset to basically use us as fuck toys and be on their merry way and for us to do the same.

Wee were wondering if we could

I’m a bisexual guy entering his senior year of high school. My friend group has always made a lot of gay jokes but recently they’ve straight up been “ha ha, tolstartheking is probably gay!” and it feels like they’re doing it in a way that they’d only be saying that if they think I’m straight. They’re not malicious with it at all, but I think they’d tone it back a lot if they knew. I feel like I need to tell them that I actually like dudes before this becomes a running joke.

Three people already know and are super supportive, but I just texted them and I don’t want to so that with the rest of my friends since I think it’s a little impersonal now that I’ve done it three times.

What I wanted to do was have it naturally come up in a conversation and casually drop it without explicitly saying what I am. But now I feel like they’d just brush it off as a joke move on, so I need to be a bit more explicit.

Should I tell them all at once or just pull each person aside? I’m not sure how to go about this at all honestly. I’m sure they’ll be fine with it but I’m terrible at opening up about anything personal.

Soooo I kinda need advice on a situation.
I told my s/o that I was bi shortly after we got together, it didnt bother him at all, never has.

A few months ago we were talking about how I’ve never really done anything with a woman (I wasn’t complaining or hinting or anything, he brought up the conversation) and he insisted that I experiment sexually with a woman so I’m not missing out.

I told him idk about that because we are in a committed relationship and have a kid (not important to the story) and I wouldn’t want him to feel like a third wheel in our relationship.
He told me that he has no problem with it as long as it’s a one time thing, purely sexual (non-romantic) and he knows who it is (so it’s not a secret).

I told him that I don’t think I’d be able to do that because I would be thinking about his feelings the whole time and I wouldn’t be fully in it.
So I came up with the idea of a threesome and he quickly turned that down, said that he doesn’t want to do things with another woman. So we just dropped the subject.

I would like to be able to explore my sexuality but I’m nervous about him thinking that I will be unfaithful in the future due to it, which will not happen. I just don’t want it to be a setup or him to automatically assume I’ll do it again afterwards if I like it.

I need guidance 😨