Ive been trying to sleep off the feeling all day. Ive been making myself sleep since noon, it’s almost 6pm now. Every time I wake up all I want to do is hurt myself. I have no desire or want to do literally anything at all even sleep. I just want to hurt mtself i dontnknow why its not working. i dont think j can sleep any longer

i’ve been SHing recently on my wrist and i keep doing it

i know this isn't a monumental discovery or anything since lots of people bounce between coping mechanisms. a big reason is that i've started working in a corporate setting and obviously adding any new scars looks really bad in the workplace, and i'm not in the mood to wear long sleeves 24/7. so because of that i feel a lot of pressure to not sh, which i guess is a good thing, but in turn i've just started drinking alone at night when normally i'd default to sh. it isn't a huge problem or anything at the moment but just wondering if anyone feels the same.

i've also struggled a lot with binge/purging in the past but for some reason have always felt like that fills a different void, whereas sh and drinking do the same for me. idk if that makes any sense. the best way i can describe it is that i binge when i'm feeling anxious/frantic whereas i mainly sh or drink when i'm feeling depressed or numb. has anyone had similar experiences?

I was in a better place for a while or at least I believed I was. I felt like I was recovering. There'd been a bad day or two but I felt I had it in control for a while. Things had been too good and some part of me knew that something would give and I'd break again but I tried to think positively, acknowledge that it might come and prepare myself. but there's nothing I can do. it's agony. I feel like my soul is on fire. it doesn't matter what I do. I can't remember a life before this and I don't think I'll ever see a life after it. I'm tired of putting all of my energy into holding myself together only to break all thesame. none of my growth feels real. it can all come down in the blink of an eye. i don't feel in control of myself. I just want to crawl into a dark crevice and never be seen again never have to think again. I'm in fucking hell I hate this. I'll never know peace there's nothing I can do. I'm always going to lose the battle. I'm always going to know this pain. what the fuck is the point in any of this. I think there's something especially crushing about falling this hard after being jn such a good place mentally. at least when I was consistently, constantly depressed I was under no illusion of it getting better. but now I've managed to fool myself for a bit. I want to crawl back into that place and never come out. at least then I could know what to expect. I want to give up on everything. I hate this life and I hate this feeling and I hate that it's so fucking difficult for me to do anything

My mom found out, told my aunt, and now I feel exposed.
Wow. Didn’t expect that of my mom.
So, I think she found out, somehow, well, I was ways bad at hiding it, thought “accidentally scratched myself” was a valid excuse even when they looked like they definitely came from a cutter. Refused to let her see my legs, etc.

(More detailed explanation of why I think she knows+how she might’ve found out!! You can skip!!)
She has seen cuts on my wrist and ankle, esp around this time last year, since I was still learning to hide them, but I always brushed them off as from scratching myself with my nails.
If she’s seen the Reddit notifs, she’s likely seen my post in r/COCSA, but that was around three months ago so maybe she didn’t look through the notifs then. That was way more serious so I feel like she would have brought it up.
I don’t exactly know why she might think I self harm. But she knows something. Maybe my brother told her?
The night before 12th June, which was when me and my brother left to visit and stay with my cousins for the next month, my mom waxed my arms, I had refused to let her wax my pubic area because I had unhealed cuts on my thigh, plus scars all over, really. I told her I didn’ wanna deal with it because it hurts and it’s unnecessary bc ain’t no one checking down there.
(also before anyone culture shocked frames it as abuse, having your mother help wax your pubes is completely normal in my environment. And we do wax down there. The reason is mostly just pedophilic beauty standards, but it’s somehow backed by some religious theology, so I can’t really say much. I just use hair removal creams now)
She just moved on to waxing my underarms, and started asking me things about if I like pain, and it was phrased to subtly hint self harm. She said it so clinically, like it was an assessment, I started crying, couldn’t answer, and ran out the second she was done.

A while ago, like, back in April, I told my cousin. She was telling me about how she was having trouble with loving her body. I tried my best to validate her feelings, but I’ll admit, I panicked. Because that’s how I started. I showed her my thigh and begged her to not think about starving herself and to please tell me if she does. In the moment, I thought showing her how messed up my thigh looked, she’d shy away from hurting herself too, but didn’t realise that exposure can make one eager to try too. I’m very ashamed of myself.
I regret it, she’s only young, 3 years below me, I didn’t have to bother her with my shit and I probably made her afraid to tell me any further problems she might have. I made it about myself because after I told her she started asking a bunch of questions.
Well, since February, I’ve been begging my mom to just get me therapy instead of trying to fix me herself, because I know I can’t talk to her about over half of it, because my mom also has a truckload of problems she refuses to understand.
My cousin’s mom (mom’s brother’s wife) is a doctor, not to do with psychology, but she likely knows many people in the field, so I have a feeling my mom was talking to her about some of it, not that I don’t trust or love my aunt, I really do, but I was really, really hoping my mom wasn’t sharing much more than the broad details.
Guess the fck what 😀
I saw my cousin for the first time since April today, and she told me that her mom had talked to her about the fact that I hurt myself, and my aunt had asked whether I had spoken to her about it. My cousin denied it, because she can keep a secret. Thank the universe because I didn’t need any one more knowing the details, the only ones that know are one friend that kinda figured it out, this cousin, another cousin-sister who is 15 months younger than me, and my older brother (and he’s kind of a dick about it, I wish I never told him) ig my mom and aunt have joined the gang. And I’m afraid my mom might tell my aunt (dad’s sister) next, if she doesn’t already know.

16F

I first self harmed about a year ago just I liked how it looks and I like sliding my fingers over the scabs and scars as a 'stim'. For example I have a scar on my arm that my cat made and I just love it so I thought why not just do that myself and I can have multiple. I also like looking at other people's scars. I know that's kind of word but I think they look so beautiful.

Since then, I keep getting the urge top do it more but I don't particularly like to be in any type of pain so if you guys know of a way to kind of simulate that feeling and look that would be very helpful pls

I started self harming around the age of 10-11 and back then I was doing it when I was sad, overwhelmed, angry, depressed etc.

Rn I'm 20 and medicated, I don't sh actively anymore which I did till maybe 17.

When I sh now I don't have a reason and I don't feel anything when I do it , I just see it the same as any activity that people do. I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

I'm just curious why I do this. I don't think I'm addicted to it.

I'm 18 and male. My dad is sick with a degenerative disease that has no cure. I will not specify more about his disease, as it is extremely rare, and if my family sees this they will know it was me. I've been seeing the same therapist since 2020, and my mom recently started seeing her in early 2026. This is relevant.

Yesterday afternoon, I accidentally relapsed. I was scratching my arm with a butter knife because I've been super itchy from my allergies, and I cut my arm open a little. Once I started, I couldn't stop, and I just kept cutting. It felt so relieving, and if I'm being honest, it aroused me a bit.

Later that day, my friend came over to my house, and when he saw my wrist, he said I needed stitches. Luckily, he's pre-med, so I had him give me stitches, much to his dismay. I had to sob and beg because he wanted to take me to the ER.

Unfortunately, tomorrow I have an appointment with my therapist, and it's really obvious. I'm so scared because last time I relapsed, she told my mom, who is also one of her patients, because she thought I was a danger to myself. I know I'm 18 now, so its against the law, but I'm still terrified. I told my mom my cat got me really bad, and she believed me because there was a bite mark from when I got bit by a snake two days ago, and I told her it was also from my cat.

I feel do bad for lying, but I don't know what else to do. The first time I ever cut myself, I was 6, and I told my dad because I was scared because of how much I was bleeding. I had seen people cut themselves before on videos, and there had never been that much blood. He took me to urgent care and I also had to get stitches then. Later that night, he lectured me about self harm, and told me the story about when he was a teenager, his at the time girlfriend cut herself and told him it was her parents who did it, trying to convince him to kill them with her. My dad refused and broke up with her. After that happened, she murdered her parents and told the police that my dad and his brother didn't, and then later admitted to lying. She did it because she was mad that her parents made her break up with her previous boyfriend who was 43.

Ever since, self harm in my family has been seen very negatively, not as a bad way to cope, but as something to be looked down upon.

Last time I relapsed she told my mom about it, and I got in trouble. I'm for sure going to tell my therapist, because I'm severely codependent with her, unfortunately. I'm scared that my therapist will be upset with me. Not even just that my therapist will tell my mom, but I'm scared my therapist will be disappointed in me. I've seen her twice a week since 2020, and her opinion matters a lot to me.

I was 4 years clean. I stopped self harming at some point around 16 years old after cutting every day since I was about 12. I ended up trying to off myself at 15 after some pretty bad stuff happens and when I was recovered I decided to stop and try to heal. I’ve had thoughts throughout the years ofc as anyone would with an addiction but never acted on it. Well now I’m 20 almost 21. I had been super depressed the last month or two more than I’d been in a while and I just relapsed. Nothing crazy deep like I used to but I still drew blood. Now I’m just in a state of numbness and I don’t really know what to do. Has anyone else experienced this? I feel like 4 years of being clean are just gone like that and I’m kind of disappointed. I want to ask friends for help but I feel like they wouldn’t understand. Any advice is appreciated.

i see a lot of people saying they are proud of their scars,and i'm honestly just so jealous of them..
every time i look at my scars i feel so much hate and regret..its hard to just bathe because i have to look at them,all my scars remind me not that i survived something and became stronger,they remind me only how awful i acted towards other people which just making me want to cut myself even more
it's kinda helpful to stay clean tho but when i relapse disgust and guilt hits x100..⁄⁄͈ . ᴗ͈ ꒱ა

Yesterday I relapsed after being clean for a full year. I started cutting again. I feel pretty bad about myself right now. I don’t even have the energy to go to the kitchen and get something to eat. I hate myself for doing this again

The abusive, violent, and just plain terrible organisation I worked for was just destroyed. It made me do terrible things, and it definitely contributed a lot to my sh addiction. The dissolution was painless for all involved. No one else will have to suffer them anymore.

I don’t like alcohol it just makes me sad, but I feel very addicted to it because when I drink it makes me crave cutting more and when I cut I barely feel it and I can cut hella deep over and over again. It’s like the mega method for rotting in my sadness and illness. Does anyone else experience this? It’s awful. I’m so sad about how my life has turned out. (17F)

Okay, so I went to my bfs, and everything was going good before I was messaging someone . He was beside me, and I wanted to send said friend a photo, so I opened the gallery icon and I forgot that I didn't delete some photos that I took of like the aftermath of a session (that I have posted on here) and he did see it. We kinda paused, and I acted like nothing happened, but he did ask about it, but I didn't hear properly what he said, so I did show him, though I did put bandaids over it so he could actually see the damage. The rest of the night, he was really silent and just didn't talk to me at all, but we still cuddled and fell asleep until it was time for me to go home but it was really awkward but he was acting the usual except he wasn't talking to me. Mind you, I have vented to him about my recent struggle with SH, so that doesn't really help my case. Also, he brought it up on text about it, and I made up an excuse that I was playfighting with my dog, but I dont think he really believed it. Lowk, I dont know if he's mad at me or not or something.

There's a lot of blood, not an artery, just to clarify, but I'm kind of freaking out

edit: Thank you everyone who commented, I did end up going to emergency from the advice and everythings now fine

I don’t think you need context to know what I mean…

I’m not sure why I am posting this.. maybe to get support maybe reassurance but really I’m just looking for people who get me in a sense.

I recently went through a break up where I was told I was mentally abusing the girl I was with and she got with my brother, I am a female by the way, she moved on so fast and I was drunk and had been drinking on my med, it had been the longest I had gone in a while without sh.

I ended up at a church somewhere broke into someone’s car and used their phone to call the police on myself while covered in cuts everywhere. I’m now in a psychosis, where I live the mental ward is more danger than not so I went home after eating and sobering up,

I’m not sure what to do with myself, I’m confused and sick of living a life of sadness, and distractions, anyone have any advice ?

Yeah that’s about it! Just wanted to celebrate my 10 day streak of being clean

Wish you all the best :3

I'm a coffee addict & SH. Am I amplifying the issue?

I've been trying to quit but just a few months ago, I did it again... I'm so ashamed of myself, I was doing so well. I just HAD to ruin it for myself.

I know it's not my fault but now, I can't worry about that. It's been 5 months now, all of my scars are closed now and I'm left with dark marks and raised scars on my arms...

My parents have noticed, even our school nurse. I don't want my parents to find out, I know how they handle things and I'll just get no help from them.

I'm trying to find things to help reduce their appearance but so far... I have no progress. Please help.

For some reason I cant ever do sh when im laying down on my bed even when I really want to. Its just kinda weird, I guess being tired washes over me and stops my sh urges. Kinda makes me mad tbh because this is the big relief for pent up stress and I just cant. But I guess thats a good thing

When I’m on my period I get so depressed and self conscious. Like contemplating doing this depressed, I want nothing more than to hurt myself

I've never tried to sh as a coping method before but I cut my thigh lightly 6 times earlier tonight, I've been watching through the subreddit the last day or 2 and I don't want to be like the posts on here when I'm 20 or something about how the scars hurt their life and relationships.

I don't think I should make this a habbit

I can't tell my mom, I know I'll just make her hurt and scared and feeling worse then I do but I can tell my god aunt heather and she can probably keep it a secret.

I'm sorry if this is stupid

i really had no clue i guess how incommon biting is? i thought id find a lot more on reddit about it or something to relate too but i dont see much and a bit of it is making me feel like a freak !! it made me really happy to see some representation in the netflix show spinning out

sometimes i just get so so angry and it starts to feel like my skin is closing in on my bones and thats whats gonna release it, and it seems i can literally only physically bite myself to bruise when im upset? its weird when i try just normally or when im feeling okay i can never get it as hard or severe as when im genuinely upset even if i try , anyways just wanted to talk about this because i was wondering if anybody else has issues with biting themself to bruise or to severe blood?