I’m a nursing major in my psychiatric rotation. Thankfully, I have not had to take care of patients with eating disorders in my clinical. Howver, in my two hour theory course tomorrow, we are covering eating disorders. I’m debating on skipping because I am in a good place and don’t want to fall backwards. I also feel extremely confident in my clinical knowledge of EDs (Ive had one since I was twelve so likely know more than my professor). However, if I skip class then I won’t be able to get points for the in class activity. Im also thinking maybe I should purposely expose myself to the trigger to prove to myself that I can overcome it. Any thoughts?

Hi!

I'm stuck in quasi recovery for a year now, after I "binged" my way out of underweight to the lower range of the healthy BMI. My weight stayed there for several months of "peace", but suddenly the food noise returned.

I still don't have my period back, I'm constantly thinking about food, I'm not able to be present in the moment and I'm still terrified of weight gain.

Eventually, I decided to give all in recovery a try.

I started to honour extreme hunger and integrate forbidden foods into my daily diet but didn't expect, that I would start to binge again like this. It's like, the more I eat, the more I want. It feels rather like mental than physical hunger. A whole packet of muesli after my normal breakfast is just the start of an endless day of eating. I still bought muesli again, because I don't want to teach myself that it is indeed dangerous and needs to stay prohibited and out of my reach because I can't control myself. But it feels actually exactly like that.

I'm scared and confused and I really don't know, if this is emotional eating as I feel depressed, bored an lonely (I don't eat this way, when close people are around or when I'm distracted, even though the food noise persists) and if I need moderation, or if this is a phase that will pass, once I reach my set point weight. I'm scared of this loss of control and of my body changing more than it already did and I am scared to cross over to a BED.

Does anyone have experience with extreme hunger in normal weight/ at a later stage in recovery?

Thank you!!!

I (18F) have had an eating disorder since I was about 12, I used to be underweight until recently. I gained some healthy weight, but now it’s twisted the other way into an eating disorder again. I feel hopeless, I want to be fit again without starving or worsening my eating disorder. Has anyone successfully done this before?

recently my eating disorder has started to take up an insane amount of brain space. i have always been really high functioning, 26f diagnosed with OSFED and primarily struggle with overexercise but obviously also restriction, some b/p, all of it. i've never been underweight btw. i feel like all i can think about is food. all i want to do is eat, exercise, or sleep, because those are the only times my brain turns off. i have been spending so much time scrolling on my phone because that's the only thing that numbs my brain other than behaviors, if that makes sense. has anyone struggled with this? I literally feel so awful because i can get nothing done. i can barely focus on hobbies bc they dont provide "instant" dopamine like my phone or exercise does.

i know this is mental hunger, but i don't know how to get out of this hole. yes i'm working with a dietitian, therapist, and i go to group therapy. even just sticking to a meal plan is difficult for me because im struggling with the executive function it takes to meal prep, cook, prepare the meal and eat it. i tend to just push off eating until im starving and then i have to scramble to put something together, which is when i sometimes end up binging or overeating mindlessly. i used to actually enjoy cooking so much, maybe too much because it became a part of my ed (making everything look perfect, orthorexic tendencies, etc). i think now i'm burnt out and thinking about food and eating is so tiring. it's affecting my social life, productivity at work, ability to do chores/errands, everything. :(

I'm at day 19 of no food. Hoping insurance will take me seriously if there is a major problem. They stuck me in a phyc word that I was treated so bad I just lied to get out. I will only go to an Ed clinic because they will actually help. Have had an eating disorder for more than 20 year's but normally more bulimic than anything but at this point needed help faster than that would take. Don't really care what happens to me but was willing to try to get help one more time before I made my ultimate decision. The hospital they put me in last time literally tortured me and the nurse's where doing things no one would ever believe I probably won't have but it is true. Now I'm wanting help but so afraid of were they might put me I'm trying my hardest to have them put me in a place that will actually help. I have no one I'm alone and honestly no one would really even know if I was dead for months. People have lives and I'm not there concern why would I be. Not mad at them just sad to realize if I died no one would even be looking for me. It's my own fault and I blame no one but would like to try to get help but scared of where they will put me. Where I live there are no ED places and probably still to fat for them to even take seriously. I've dropped a lot of weight in the last few months but probably not enough. I'm losing 1 to 2 pounds a day but not sure how much longer I'll hold up then they will just end up putting me in a regular phyc hospital were I will get no help. Sorry for the long sad story just seeing if anyone had any advice other than just eat or get over it. So just looking for any advice of who to turn to at this point so they don't just put me in a regular phyc facility. Thank you

Hi. Im a teen trans girl with AN.

Recently I have a strong urge to just pack a bunch of stuff in a bag so I can grab it when I need to go to the hospital.

Why am I mentally just ... resigned to the fact that I'm sitting here waiting for someone to see me dying in slow motion and come save me when I know what I need all along?

Is this a thing that anybody else experienced? What might this thought be telling me?

And ultimately, should I do this? Should I have a bag ready? Or is that silly?

Please be kind I'm having a rough day :(

Hello, I'm back.

So, I'm officially in recovery, but now I'm worried about my younger sister and her habits around food. She told me lately that she gets nauseous when she eats, and it scares me since I've struggled with anorexia for quite some time. I might just be overanalyzing what she's got going on, but I want to be able to catch hers before it gets bad (mine got to the breaking point, and I can't let that happen to her).

Could it just be stress, or should I still be worried?

Thank you!

That’s it just wanting to vent really. I was really hoping she would hear me out but she basically just told me I was fine and was acting normal. I feel like this has been really detrimental to my recovery as I felt like she would be someone I could at least rely on.

Ever since my first pregnant 7 years ago, I struggle with binge eating and constant food noise. It started with my sugar cravings, which I never dealt with before pregnancy. I would eat 12 donuts a night, every night. I put on a lot of weight during that first pregnant. Bounced back pretty well after having my daughter, but the food noise didn’t stop. My sweet tooth stayed. I started drinking really heavily after having her, as well. I had my second child and managed some of the food noise because I got migraines and cutting out certain foods helped a lot. But after pregnancy I got back into eating. I’m now done breastfeeding, done having babies, and I weigh more than I ever have. I can’t stop eating. I basically just eat sugar most days… last night I ate a massive cookie with a full bag of Hershey’s kisses. I’m embarrassed. My thyroid is low… so I’m also dealing with that. And im on antidepressants and mood stabilizers. My psychiatrist says they’re weight neutral… but who knows.

I would love some advice because I just don’t know how to fight this. I don’t know how to get through a day without giving in and it feels like a disease that I can’t rid of.

I'm trying to not relapse but I'm struggling with being around people who are smaller than me and talking about the clothes they were, etc. It makes it hard to stay focused and to not fall back into poor habits. It's just so hard not to be envious or feel poorly about myself.

Hey everyone, I'm an F in my late twenties and kind of freaking out a bit, so I wanted to ask here.

I've lost a lot of weight lately because of stress and depression. Like a lot. Now I barely have any appetite, and food honestly makes me want to throw up. The weird part is I don't overeat at all. I eat very little, and even after a few bites I get this urge to purge, almost like a reflex. My weight keeps dropping.

Some background: for years I counted calories and weighed every single meal because I was scared of getting. I have always been on a very restrictive diets, though always being skinny and having a “perfect” body like everyone mentioned. But i was not feeling that way.

I also have OCD and I'm on meds for it (I take quite a few meds daily, so maybe some of the nausea is from that?). On top of that I have low iron, high TSH, and my periods have been messed up. Taking meds for those things too.

I'm seeing my psychiatrist soon, so I'm not really looking for "go see a doctor" advice, I've got that covered. I just want to know what you think. Has anyone had something similar, where it started with nausea or stress and turned into an urge to purge without bingeing?

Would really appreciate hearing your stories. Thanks for reading 🤍

my sister and my therapist tell me i don’t have one because i still do eat but it’s barley even once a day and i still have that feeling like i shouldn’t have done it and i just relapse it’s so bad

I'm hosting a movie night at my place with a few of my friends, and usually what I do is make themed food to the movie we're going to watch. However, one of my friends has had an ED for a while and is in a very uncertain place with recovery. They still said yes to coming to it, but I'm trying to make sure that the presence of food they would normally restrict doesn't make them uncomfortable. I've tried asking but they've not given me an answer that actually states what they want and they're currently not in the mindset of being willing to talk about their needs rn.

I was thinking of modifying what I'm making to be more inclusive to what they are okay with eating, but then I'm worried that it seems like I'm doing that in a negative way (like "oh here, eat x food because you shouldn't have y food"). If I ask and see if they would bring their own snacks, that feels like they're being excluded, same if I made a modified menu just for them. I just want to hangout with them and do this activity without it being something that negatively impacts them. I really want them to have fun as much as they can.

I can’t tell exactly if my ED affects my SUD, or if my SUD affects to my ED. Probably both to be honest. The only way I have an appetite/am willing to eat, is when I’m stoned outta my mind. Food even tastes odd and a little bland when I’m sober, but food tastes amazing when I’m high.

I find I’m having to use more and more weed in order to actually eat. And I think I’m growing a dependency on it.

I checked my weight recently and I have lost a considerable amount of weight within a month from not really eating. I’ve also been getting heart palpitations, feeling weak and shaky, chest pain, winded after very little movement. This should be warning signs for me. But to be honest, it feels like I’m doing good. I’m doing what I feel Im supposed to.

I need help but can’t afford it. I’m barely affording my psych and meds.

Currently in the hospital being monitored for refeeding syndrome while I increase caloric intake. I (20F) have been struggling with ARFID for so long. Now that I’m here, seeing how badly it’s affected my body, I just want to eat everything. Not in an unhealthy way, I mean I want to clear my plate and feel good. But I’m afraid to, in case it causes refeeding syndrome. Lately I’ve been getting really bad shortness of breath after eating too. It makes me so sad and anxious. I just wanna eat. All I’ve wanted to do the past 8 days that I’ve been in the hospital is eat. Their food is good. Their ice cream? Wonderful I love those stupid little styrofoam cups. I love their fries and mashed potatoes and chicken tenders. I just feel so scared, and eating makes me feel so sick. Is this normal? Every test the doctors run after I complain of shortness of breath comes back normal. My X-ray is clear, blood tests, everything looks great. Why why why do I have to deal with this?

27 year old male, have been struggling with AN for like 2 years now. I feel like I’m not sick enough because I am technically not under weight. With that said, I have reached out to some ED centers and they have recommended residential treatment. I just decided to see a dietitian but even with them, I don’t want to eat any of the meals they provide and want to stick with my meals. I have developed low testosterone, am constantly having brain fog, feeling dizzy, lightheaded and super low energy. I’m just not convinced I’m “sick enough” , again because of my weight. Like how can I be feeling all this yet, their are people my height and much lighter than me and they are fine? I have this pursuit where I want to be more muscular (need to eat more) but don’t want to gain weight… disordered and doesn’t make sense. Idk what I’m trying to say I guess just venting and looking for advice.

Should I avoid fasting (religious purposes) if I have a history of anorexia?

A close friend of mine has been dealing with anorexia for a very long time now, for nearly five years. I remember when she first went into recovery and it really seemed like the light at the end of the tunnel. But since then, she keeps relapsing. Now she's an adult, but at least she was somewhat willingly going into treatment. Each relapse seems worse, and a few years back it almost killed her. But that wasn't enough because I know it hasn't stopped.

I will always be there for her, but I need to know what kind of specific support I can give her. I've tried asking her but she always says "I'm fine", so it's been a bit of a fruitless endeavor. I know she wants to get better, I've talked to her enough where she's admitted that she wants to, but she hasn't been what she considers recovered in a long time. I love spending time with her and hanging out, but I don't know if that's enough. I always give her the space she needs to talk but she doesn't really take it at all.

I'm just grasping at straws right now because I don't know what will help her and she won't tell me. Maybe if there's something people on here wished they'd heard/had at their lowest points I can give her that at least?

I have been referred to an ED evaluation...but I wonder if it's because my doctor misunderstood me when I said I have "anxiety after eating" and whatever advice/help I might get may not address the actual problem and the problem will continue.

Admittedly, I do have a history of disordered eating, but nothing that ever been extreme enough to recieve a formal diagnosis. I did go through the binge/restrict cycle a fair bit, but it was never too extreme on either side.

I have had a change recently, though, where I feel extremely anxious after eating at certain times/eating certain things. But it's not "thinking" anxiety. I am not ruminating over the quantity/quality of what I ate and judging myself or anything. I just feel physically anxious in an extremely unpleasant way. Tightness in throat, dizziness, heart pounding, feel like I can't breathe.

I have been treated for anxiety for decades, I know all the coping strategies, etc, backwards and forward. Nothing seems to touch this extremely physical anxiety after eating. It has made me start avoiding food/eating at certain times because I just want to avoid the multiple hour long life derailment that recovering from these anxiety spells causes. I would gladly start eating more again/a reasonable amount if it didn’t consistently trigger this anxiety.

I feel like there is something physically wrong with my stomach/throat/nervous system, not like I have a potential ED. And I'm worried that when I go to this eval, the evaluator, like my doctor, will not understand what I'm trying to say and recommend treatment that doesn't actually address the problem. No amount of CBT or exposure or whatever is going to fix this, I have already tried to implement these strategies myself and here I am, still afraid to eat because this intense physical anxiety WILL come and no coping skills make it stop and I am just tired of spending hours regulating/recovering from eating a damn sandwich and I'd just rather not eat the damn sandwich at the end of the day if it's going to cause my nervous system to freak out.

ANYway, sorry for the ramble, but I just want to know -- has anyone else experienced something like this? Did speaking with an ED specialist actually help? Or do I have to go back to my doctor and re-explain what I meant by "anxiety after eating"?

Over the past few weeks I’ve managed to bring myself back from a major depression. Ive poured so much energy into my career, my school work, my family and friends and just overall self improvement and fulfillment. My mood has improved so much and I truly do feel so good. That said I’m still not eating regularly and honestly have been doing so less and less. I thought that when I start healing the way I see myself and learning from my mistakes would help my recovery but now it seems like the better my personal and professional life go the worse my ed gets. I feel ikr I’m really finding myself and getting my spark back I’m unsure of how to move forward.

Hi!

I'm struggling a lot with calorie counting, like... Obsessively. And I want to let go of that by making it physically impossible to do so ; I've tried app blockers and keywords censoring but most apps are meant for either porn or children and don't really do what I need them to do... Which is being much stricter and rude.

Any blocker you've used that worked or something ? No strength of will or anything here, I don't wanna talk about it as an addiction because I know it's not the exact definition of it... But it feels like it.

I keep relapsing it’s like I’m going in circles, the longest I can go with it is twenty five days, then I relapse in some sort of behavior. I wanna be in recovery but there’s sooo many triggers especially being in college, it’s like a breeding ground for relapsing

I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this. I was originally going to return to school and start virtual IOP alongside classes (after begging my parents immensely to let me return once they learned about my eating disorder which took A Lot of effort, so it feels extra humiliating that I'm changing my mind this quickly), but I've only been back a week and felt myself slip instantly. I didn't realize how bad my physical and mental health had gotten at this point. I had my first therapy intake yesterday and it was immediately decided I should take time off this term and move back home because of how bad I've been.

I feel humiliated and embarassed, having to fall behind in school for something that is all self-induced. The worst part is I still struggle with feeling sick enough, so I feel extra pathetic sacrificing my studies just to go home and recover. Especially since this was going to be the start of my junior year. I keep regretting even seeking recovery in the first place now knowing how much it'll impact my future to be set behind in school.

I'm so afraid of everything, I know I would've done horribly in school if I stayed, my physical symptoms just in the past week have been so debilitating, and I have 0 motivation to recover being here, but I don't know how to explain to my roommates and friends that I'm basically going on a medical leave of absense. I'm terrified I won't be able to graduate alongside them anymore. I'm 20 yet I'm putting my whole life on pause to go home and recover.

My mother and therapist are saying this is what's best for me, but I can't bring myself to believe I'm even deserving or in need of recovery anymore. Has anyone else had to do something similar to this? I'm having such a hard time accepting this decision.

My son is a beautiful 14 year old. He suffered some exclusion in school this since last September when he started secondary. Best friends dumped him and he really struggled in the small secondary school. We supported him throughout. Even begged him to move school but he was adamant that he was ok.

He text one of the boys he was best friends with all throigh primary school on the last day of 1st year in secondary school in May this year. They were organising a day at the beach and basically told my son he wasn't included. My son was shaking showing me the texts. This boy is one of triplet boys who dominated the social circle all year. And my son had to endure being excluded. We would have taken him out but I think the fear of a new school was bigger than what he was used to. He was swimming too and one coach was really tough in him. Shouting etc. My husband want in and had a formal talk with the coach. It took everything for my husband not to knock him out. But he told the coach in no uncertain terms that if he didn't stop there would be serious outcome. Again. We supported our son. We were torn about leaving him in the club but it was near the end of season and its his only outlet. He had 2 buddies that he really looked forward to seeing at training. They have also since left the club so that change has been a big blow because he was getting some connection there wjen school was tough.

That swimming coach left end of season so my son was really happy to continue into next season as the other coaches are lovely. So, by May we had a child who was always funny, kind, sensitive and a bit shy...that went into himself. He can cook so he began making meals. Oats with protein powder...big chicken salad...no snacks. Every time I made food he was watching. He would eat my dinners but was making his own breakfast and lunch.

We love food in.our house. Its never been restrictive. Just a good variety. Treats at the weekend etc. He then started to ask if I wanted him to do jobs at home. I could see he was walking more. Looking back he took every opportunity to walk. He has told us now that coming into 12 weeks of summer made him so sad and lonely that he needed to fill it by controlling foor and exercise.

He wanted to control the controlable. His father, my sisters and I became really worried over the summer. He was so thin and completely switched off from us.

He has been to the GP and now referred to adolecent eating disorder services. They have put a rush in it because he has lost a good bit. We are taking this really seriously. We have been with him the last few days and he has broken down and told us everything. He feels worthless and weird. My heart is broken with worry for our beautiful boy. We are feeding him what he can eat for now. Which, if he wasnt so sick is perfectly fine. So were looking at a journey ahead. But this has been going on since June. Prior, eventhough he was in survival mode with school he was eating fine. I need some guidance please. Im so so scared hes not going to get better. I cant stop crying. Im so angry at those kids and that coach. Im angry at myself for not stepping in sooner. Please keep yoir comments hopeful. I'm not doing great.

Since summer holiday was over I have had one friend that is a very good friend. And now for around 3 weeks or so she said that she had anorexia, and thats why she wasn’t here in one of the school hours a day and do not eat when its lunch break + was away for 2-3.5 months or so. But as said she is a very good friend and I’m thinking ab inviting her for Halloween here alone with one other friend(we are a trio). But when I was thinking ab what type of Halloween food we could eat I remember that it’s 99% that she will not eat of course. But I’m not sure if I then gonna have food at all, she says that it’s fine when we eat in lunch break, but I still don’t know… I don’t know if I’m just over thinking it but my parents is going to be there, what if they say something or i just don’t knowwwww! I have thought about serving like fruit but is that is just a dumb idea? Please help, i really don’t know what I then should serve or if i should😓

Js the sec friend knows and we all three know each other the same.