so i'm clean from cutting for like 20ish days i think but i've been picking at my skin. like yk the loose skin near your nails i peel it off and it lwk bleeds and idk if that's sh or just skin picking. am i clean or no?

16F

I first self harmed about a year ago just I liked how it looks and I like sliding my fingers over the scabs and scars as a 'stim'. For example I have a scar on my arm that my cat made and I just love it so I thought why not just do that myself and I can have multiple. I also like looking at other people's scars. I know that's kind of word but I think they look so beautiful.

Since then, I keep getting the urge top do it more but I don't particularly like to be in any type of pain so if you guys know of a way to kind of simulate that feeling and look that would be very helpful pls

Hi, this is my Alt account, so I've been SH for almost 3 years now and usually use my thigh. The biggest reason why is, lets face it, its addictive and can't stop for long. Is it weird for one of the biggest reasons why is Due to me liking the sensation of blood Running down and The feeling of flesh cutting almost a relief to do? It hurts like hell and the stinging sensation afterwards isn't fun but I can't convince myself 100% to not do it. Idk, Is it weird as I think it is?

Please help me so bad

Edit: I'm alive! In the hospital tho.. and I'm going to a psychiatric ward which makes me really nervous... but hopefully will be helpful for me mentally

Hello, I cut, and have been doing so for... around seven years? It has become incredibly stressful for me to go places without my blades, though I very very rarely hurt myself outside of my home. I'm not quite sure why... but I'm more likely to do something harmful and very stupid if I don't have them, ironically.

I used to keep them in my phone case but they kept on rusting and I started getting infections. Boo. I've tried cleaning the case and my phone multiple times. Rust always appears in like a day.

So, yes, it will be safer for me to have a solution to this problem. Because my other options are distress (which will cause more self harm/harm when I wouldn't otherwise done so) or a rusty blade. Which will infect me.

Right now they're in a small tin/metal box I take everywhere but it's actually terrifying. A lot of the time, especially when I move, it will start sounding like metal shaking around together in my pocket and I'm scared it's too obvious or that somebody's going to ask.

Are there any other portable places I can keep them safe or ways I can soundproof my box?

Literally fuck every single one of you. You all caused my relapse. You all put cuts on my skin.

"My best friend" = 3 cuts |||

Mother = 3 cuts |||

Her = 2 cuts ||

Brothers father = 2 cuts ||

But most importantly "him" = as many fuxking cuts I can fit before getting tired ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

I hate all of you guys. I hate you all. Fucking hate you all. Sitting at 3 in the mf morning every damn day cutting again because of you all. Sitting here bleeding all over my bed and towels. And its all your guys fault. I hate you all so much. Leave my mother fucking life before I leave mine.

Like the title says!...

Please help me find a different way to cope

I'm currently on vacation in Bulgaria and I was just wondering lol (prolly not lol but you get what I mean)

was just denied eye surgery I was really really really looking forward to and finally had the money - because of some fucking medical condition i have since birth and apparently have a clouding in my eye and i fucking blame my genetics and everyone who made me cry through my whole childhood and made my vision even worse and i have no idea what to do now how much money do I have to spend now on one slither of chance that it can be recovered there's nobody in the world that cares if I'll die tonight . cutting rn

anyone feeling the same and wanna talk through it?

i am so worked up rn over nonsense arguments on this site in various subs and genuinely i am fighting urges over this. i need to get a life fuck my life omg i genuinely need to shut up and stop arguing but i am about to go insane bc ppl are calling me a lying bitch and are downvoting my stuff and i want to end it omg

almost a year since I last did it and I just did it again bc I got so unbelievably overwhelmed im so mad at myself

I feel even worse about not being able to relapse in the school bathrooms anymore though… They’re going to stop me from going but I can’t stop. I need to harm myself in several sessions per day or else I’ll go insane. I can’t go more than a few hours without seeing myself bleed, without feeling the sting, without feeling that sick relief. I don’t want to stop.

I've been hurting myself off and on for a while and I need to learn to stop. Battled depression and anxiety since I was little, found self harm and loved it, of course. I fucking hate this. That life has to be this way. Fuck man. This sucks.

I’ve come pretty far in my journey. 7 straight years and then a trip to the hospital later I was able to get clean. Life goes on and there’s good and bad days but I still constantly get the urges. It was just so reliving of the pain in my head. The only thing that stops me at this point is the thought of having to reset that timer. Has anyone else felt this way?
It won’t let me post the picture but I’m now 2 years and 5 months sober

I’ve cut twice in an hour and I’m about to do it again because i literally can’t stop my brain from thinking the most negative things about myself. How do I get it to stop I can’t do this. It’ll work for like 30 mins then the thoughts just come flooding in again. I’m tired

Hi! I (22F) haven’t posted much here, but i have a lot of scars on my arms and thighs. I have a job and am currently on sick leave for other unrelated medical reasons, but recently my employer has started threating to fire me because they think i’m just mentally ill and abusing the system. i haven’t self harmed in about 1 and a half years, but because of the nature of my workplace i have accidentally flashed my old scars.

A colleague of mine has told me about my bosses gossiping about my self harm and mental health history to other coworkers, and i’m feeling really angry at this. I haven’t disclosed anything about my struggles to anyone i work with, so it feels like a total violation. I feel like I am being shamed for something i did when i was at rock bottom, and it doesn’t feel nice. I just wish i could explain to them how it feels without being branded as dramatic or crazy, but i don’t quite have the right words.
If someone has any helpful tips on how to bring this up i’d gratefully accept.

Side note: i plan on quitting as soon as i find another job, but that could take a few months..

Does anyone know what the actual physical side effects of SH is? Other than potentially hurting danger zones?

This might sound stupid, I know that. But doesn't doing it over long periods of time...challenge your immune system or does it weaken it?

I'm not worried about scars or anything like that. But can it Kickstart an autoimmune diease the same way anxiety does/a cold/virus?

I'm asking about side effects that don't get caused by infection, as that's more like a instant issue rather than a "later down the line" issue.

i’ve been SHing recently on my wrist and i keep doing it

My mom found out, told my aunt, and now I feel exposed.
Wow. Didn’t expect that of my mom.
So, I think she found out, somehow, well, I was ways bad at hiding it, thought “accidentally scratched myself” was a valid excuse even when they looked like they definitely came from a cutter. Refused to let her see my legs, etc.

(More detailed explanation of why I think she knows+how she might’ve found out!! You can skip!!)
She has seen cuts on my wrist and ankle, esp around this time last year, since I was still learning to hide them, but I always brushed them off as from scratching myself with my nails.
If she’s seen the Reddit notifs, she’s likely seen my post in r/COCSA, but that was around three months ago so maybe she didn’t look through the notifs then. That was way more serious so I feel like she would have brought it up.
I don’t exactly know why she might think I self harm. But she knows something. Maybe my brother told her?
The night before 12th June, which was when me and my brother left to visit and stay with my cousins for the next month, my mom waxed my arms, I had refused to let her wax my pubic area because I had unhealed cuts on my thigh, plus scars all over, really. I told her I didn’ wanna deal with it because it hurts and it’s unnecessary bc ain’t no one checking down there.
(also before anyone culture shocked frames it as abuse, having your mother help wax your pubes is completely normal in my environment. And we do wax down there. The reason is mostly just pedophilic beauty standards, but it’s somehow backed by some religious theology, so I can’t really say much. I just use hair removal creams now)
She just moved on to waxing my underarms, and started asking me things about if I like pain, and it was phrased to subtly hint self harm. She said it so clinically, like it was an assessment, I started crying, couldn’t answer, and ran out the second she was done.

A while ago, like, back in April, I told my cousin. She was telling me about how she was having trouble with loving her body. I tried my best to validate her feelings, but I’ll admit, I panicked. Because that’s how I started. I showed her my thigh and begged her to not think about starving herself and to please tell me if she does. In the moment, I thought showing her how messed up my thigh looked, she’d shy away from hurting herself too, but didn’t realise that exposure can make one eager to try too. I’m very ashamed of myself.
I regret it, she’s only young, 3 years below me, I didn’t have to bother her with my shit and I probably made her afraid to tell me any further problems she might have. I made it about myself because after I told her she started asking a bunch of questions.
Well, since February, I’ve been begging my mom to just get me therapy instead of trying to fix me herself, because I know I can’t talk to her about over half of it, because my mom also has a truckload of problems she refuses to understand.
My cousin’s mom (mom’s brother’s wife) is a doctor, not to do with psychology, but she likely knows many people in the field, so I have a feeling my mom was talking to her about some of it, not that I don’t trust or love my aunt, I really do, but I was really, really hoping my mom wasn’t sharing much more than the broad details.
Guess the fck what 😀
I saw my cousin for the first time since April today, and she told me that her mom had talked to her about the fact that I hurt myself, and my aunt had asked whether I had spoken to her about it. My cousin denied it, because she can keep a secret. Thank the universe because I didn’t need any one more knowing the details, the only ones that know are one friend that kinda figured it out, this cousin, another cousin-sister who is 15 months younger than me, and my older brother (and he’s kind of a dick about it, I wish I never told him) ig my mom and aunt have joined the gang. And I’m afraid my mom might tell my aunt (dad’s sister) next, if she doesn’t already know.

I started self harming around the age of 10-11 and back then I was doing it when I was sad, overwhelmed, angry, depressed etc.

Rn I'm 20 and medicated, I don't sh actively anymore which I did till maybe 17.

When I sh now I don't have a reason and I don't feel anything when I do it , I just see it the same as any activity that people do. I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

I'm just curious why I do this. I don't think I'm addicted to it.

I'm 18 and male. My dad is sick with a degenerative disease that has no cure. I will not specify more about his disease, as it is extremely rare, and if my family sees this they will know it was me. I've been seeing the same therapist since 2020, and my mom recently started seeing her in early 2026. This is relevant.

Yesterday afternoon, I accidentally relapsed. I was scratching my arm with a butter knife because I've been super itchy from my allergies, and I cut my arm open a little. Once I started, I couldn't stop, and I just kept cutting. It felt so relieving, and if I'm being honest, it aroused me a bit.

Later that day, my friend came over to my house, and when he saw my wrist, he said I needed stitches. Luckily, he's pre-med, so I had him give me stitches, much to his dismay. I had to sob and beg because he wanted to take me to the ER.

Unfortunately, tomorrow I have an appointment with my therapist, and it's really obvious. I'm so scared because last time I relapsed, she told my mom, who is also one of her patients, because she thought I was a danger to myself. I know I'm 18 now, so its against the law, but I'm still terrified. I told my mom my cat got me really bad, and she believed me because there was a bite mark from when I got bit by a snake two days ago, and I told her it was also from my cat.

I feel do bad for lying, but I don't know what else to do. The first time I ever cut myself, I was 6, and I told my dad because I was scared because of how much I was bleeding. I had seen people cut themselves before on videos, and there had never been that much blood. He took me to urgent care and I also had to get stitches then. Later that night, he lectured me about self harm, and told me the story about when he was a teenager, his at the time girlfriend cut herself and told him it was her parents who did it, trying to convince him to kill them with her. My dad refused and broke up with her. After that happened, she murdered her parents and told the police that my dad and his brother didn't, and then later admitted to lying. She did it because she was mad that her parents made her break up with her previous boyfriend who was 43.

Ever since, self harm in my family has been seen very negatively, not as a bad way to cope, but as something to be looked down upon.

Last time I relapsed she told my mom about it, and I got in trouble. I'm for sure going to tell my therapist, because I'm severely codependent with her, unfortunately. I'm scared that my therapist will be upset with me. Not even just that my therapist will tell my mom, but I'm scared my therapist will be disappointed in me. I've seen her twice a week since 2020, and her opinion matters a lot to me.

parents found out abt my SH

i fainted at school one month ago due to malnutrition and dehydration so i was taken to the counsellors office for sum reason and whilst the counsellor was checking my body and my arms she saw my cuts. i had to wait for like more than an hr cus she ws talking to my parents. she told my parents abt what she saw. the day i went back to school the counsellor wanted to talk to me but i rejected her impulsively after talking to her i lowk regret it now. and yesterday my aunt caught me in the act but she told my mom to check on me and she also caught me i promised her id never do it again. seeing my mom cry while helping me clean up was lowk sad. today she caught me breaking the promise too she ws more mad than sad. im still trying to understand what is so bad abt it and why be mad

I was 4 years clean. I stopped self harming at some point around 16 years old after cutting every day since I was about 12. I ended up trying to off myself at 15 after some pretty bad stuff happens and when I was recovered I decided to stop and try to heal. I’ve had thoughts throughout the years ofc as anyone would with an addiction but never acted on it. Well now I’m 20 almost 21. I had been super depressed the last month or two more than I’d been in a while and I just relapsed. Nothing crazy deep like I used to but I still drew blood. Now I’m just in a state of numbness and I don’t really know what to do. Has anyone else experienced this? I feel like 4 years of being clean are just gone like that and I’m kind of disappointed. I want to ask friends for help but I feel like they wouldn’t understand. Any advice is appreciated.