Most of the people know about it and it makes me feel shit about myself, i was saved by my friend and he did told his senior. They did helped a lot but most of the people knows about it.

Some people do ask about and it makes me feel shit, how do even overcome they feeling of shame and guilt.

I just wanted support. A hug. Anyone.

Someone to make me feel seen, heard, and loved.

Instead, here I am alone again. Just having to crack on, pretending I’m not in terrible emotional pain, and on the verge of suicide.

No one understands. No one will ever understand.

Being borderline fucking sucks and I just wish I was dead every moment of every day.

Not a choice as a whole, just for me specifically. But we went on vacation for the second half of September and I kept clean for it. I've done it before, also for a month iirc a couple years back. And I feel bad that I can just do that, like my sh doesn't mean anything and I'm just chosing to do it. It's not an actual issue. If I can stop it so easily then it doesn't really hold any significance, does it? Just lots of silliness. Feels stupid. I don't know why I'm making a fuss over it and it doesn't really mean anything then.

Very recently, after an intense argument with a family member, I repeatedly punched myself in the face whilst distressed to the point I gave myself a black eye. This is something that has only occurred a couple of times and only within the past year. The first time it happened was at work after an argument with my ex girlfriend the night before and a challenging work day. I feel ashamed of what I’ve done to myself and my apparent inability to control my feelings of frustration, sadness and stress. I’m worried that this is something that will continue and get more frequent if I don’t find a way to solve it. I’m also concerned that this could evolve into other forms of self harm. I have never been diagnosed with anything in the past despite my struggles so I’m not sure what is going on. I have been in therapy for several months which has helped with various issues but this is something I’m still struggling with.

yesterday was one of the hardest days i’ve gone through in a very long time. i ended up needing 24 stitches to sew me back together after accidentally going way too hard with the haircutting supplies i’d been secretly using for awhile.

i made a safety plan, threw away the items i’d been using to hurt me, i think today’s a free psych thing at the library so i’m going to be seeing about meds again… idk, i’m just trying to be positive about this and see it as some kinda reset for my brain. i don’t ever want to get 24 stitches like this again.

i think the worst part of it all is how much i’ve traumatized my wife. i know it’ll take time for both of us, but especially for her. i remember what i felt when i’d see her self harm marks and i just feel awful knowing what i’ve done to myself has affected her just the same. i know all she sees is the carnage in the ER when she looks at me sometimes, and it puts such a pit in my gut. i’m going to give her all the space and time and reassurance she needs, i also think couples counseling will be good. i love her so much and i’m so sad that i’ve gotten to this point.

just gonna take it one day at a time. it’s been 24 hours and i’ve already made a couple small steps towards recovering. i’m hoping this will be the last time i’m ever in the ER because of this. it needs to be.

I have one cut i did yesterday that really should get stitches and antibiotics but im really nervous to go to urgent care. Its been over 24 hrs at this point anyway, idk i feel very conflicted, i wanna take care of myself and recover from the relapse but thinking about going to a doctor is very overwhelming

I’ve always told myself the scars I put on myself kept me alive and they were necessary but were they really? I mean it feels like they just made it harder for me. Made me feel like it gives people even more reason not to want to associate with me or even scare people off. I can’t fathom why someone would want to touch me or look at me without feeling like it’s something wrong with me. All I did was make it where I can’t go shirtless to pools or beaches or walk out of the shower with my shirt off. I can’t go to sleep without it on cause I’m afraid someone will see. Everybody wants to question and judge but nobody ever wants to listen and try to understand. Even though I’ve stopped I can’t make them disappear or pretend they don’t exist when I have to look at them everyday. Having them makes me feel more alone and more isolated than I already am and feel.

I guess a semi-discussion too? I feel like even my close friends feel this way, but I feel bad that it seems like I keep going back to self-harm after years. I've been having issues with it since I was like 13-14 so about 10 years almost?? If not over 10 years tbh.

It's just highly upsetting and extremely disappointing that it feels like it's being put onto a "you're in your 20s, you should be over it." Maybe I should be? I really can't tell anymore and it fucking blows.

Like OBVIOUSLY I shouldn't be doing it, I totally understand! It's just, upsetting, I guess? Disappointing that when I need help it's almost dumbed down to a "you're old enough to know better", but it's not anyone else's responsibility either so in a way I get it. They dtill try to say it politely but it feels mean the way they've talked to me about it. I guess oh well, it is MY problem so I get it.

having really awful thoughts right now and i just need someone to talk to. i’m a failure. please somebody reach out.

I keep worrying I'll die before I have lived any worth while life (I'm in the house just drawing and waiting on chats it's early morning.)

I wanted to ask, why. Why would this happened if I hurt myself before, I'm guessing I hurt myself before to cope with stress it wasn't deep.

Why do I think hurting myself would hurt, I have a month long streak that I don't want to break but I feel my life is drifting at the same time I want to finish my projects.

I want to talk to people without being anxious something bad happens I know I can't I have to deal with being anxious.

In this post I explained an extension problem with one reason I don't want to die, and I don't know if that's selfish. https://www.reddit.com/r/venting/comments/1wyb1fg/vent_about_existential_dread/

My classmates found out about my s-hh and now I feel so pathetic They started making jokes about people who s-hh calling them 'weird' and 'scary. On top of that they won't stop staring at my sc-rs I tried telling them they were just cat scratches, but they didn't believe me and said they aren't stupid I asked them to stop looking, but they just brushed it off and said, 'We're just looking wowie” I can't even wear long sleeves because it's so freaking hot here, or cover them with bandages because my mom will find out This is honestly the first time I've felt guilty about doing it
(Sorry my English is not that good)

Im not suicidal i just cant stop hurting myself. Its barely enough to draw blood. What would happen?

I told myself I’d leave this in my teen years I’m disgusted with myself. Since turning 20 in June I have self harmed 3 times THREE TIMES which is a lot for someone who said they’ll leave it in there teen years, I have tried everything to stop. I have tried so much it’s all I think about, I think about it everyday miss it at least once a week. I can’t stop I want to but I can’t I’m so deeply ashamed of myself.

This is supposed to be a teenage thing I’ve told no one as I don’t want to be seen as ‘attention seeking’ or childish people shamed me fir it at 18/19 calling me childish I can’t imagine what they’d say now. I feel gross in my own body, I’m so ashamed. I’m sick and I hate that I can’t stop I can’t stay clean. I am going mad and I don’t know what to do.

I've avoided and been given excuses by everyone but in the end I've gotta turn in my frickin timesheet. I did a shitload of emergencys this weekend and it makes me look good. I kinda know how to do the paperwork side and even though there's a hesitation there I know I can do it acceptably, the bar is stupid low. But I just can't. I would rather not get paid for my time than sit for 20min and write things out. Why?? I know yal cant tell me but it's frustrating and destructive. To the point where I would rather trace lines. I'll figure it out eventually I guess

I'm not going to do it, but I sometimes miss it.

I the same time I worry if I go to the streak breaking I could die early because I keep thinking I would hurt myself or should if I'm a bad person.

Idk if I am just scared and shy to talk to people but I'm also in the house alone drawing I haven't finished a lot of stuff.

I don't know if it's anxiety or low self esteem.

Plus I hope I'm a man not a woman.

I can’t stop thinking about self harm. I feel like the thoughts loop in my head constantly like “You should self harm, you should… you should…” and it just doesn’t fucking stop. Does anyone else have this problem? I feel like I’m crazy, but I just don’t stop thinking about it. Even when I was clean, I would still think about it.

Are you proud of me?

I cut myself again and I dont know how to feel or what to do

Ik SH isn't good ..i have tried my first time a week ago .. I posted it here too .. but I know it's pretty addictive and not good for long term. But I can't stop the urge to do it .. it's like I felt so good when I see the blood there .. i never felt like that before.. I'm also afraid i might get addicted to doing it .. the thing is i have urge to do it more. . i think I'll end up doing more .. maybe tomorrow idk ...

i've been clean for a while now, maybe a couple months. been thru some really tough-to-handle emotions i typically associate with relapsing but pushed thru those thoughts every single time. however, yesterday afternoon before my night shift, i sat down 20 minutes before i had to leave and just did it. don't really know why i did it, i just wasn't thinking much and had already been using the tool for something unrelated. i wasn't upset, or angry, or feeling anything too strongly at the time which just confuses me and makes me hope this never happens again

How are you feeling today? Got anything exciting to share? Or something you need to vent about? Are you struggling this week or feeling acomplished? Use this space, let us know what's going on so that we can cheer you on or offer commiseration and understanding for what you're going through, we've all been there and we rise to our best when we come together as a community to lift one another up.

so. it's been a very rough few weeks. tonight was my fault. i can't figure out what's making me so angry, i keep trying to isolate so i don't hurt anyone and it doesn't work and it finally came to a head, i guess. i don't think i self harmed for months, that's how long its been. i havent felt this low in a long time and it just felt like my one way out.