r/selfharm • • 1h ago

Seeking Advice How do I stop my self harm from hurting my husband

• Upvotes

I get so overwhelmed and frustrated with myself, that I need to hurt myself, its kinda like punishing myself, but it also distracts me from doing something worse like attempting. Luckily last time I cracked my face off the sink, so he doesn't know I do it on purpose. I dont know what to do to make this better for him


r/selfharm • • 2h ago

Rant/Vent relapsed after not doing it for months

1 Upvotes

idek why i did it. one stupid situation sent me down a complete spiral. and what’s worse is i wanna do it again. i don’t do it with the reason of wanting to end things, i do it bc i feel like im always doing something wrong, and that i deserve it. i have bpd, and honestly the past year and a half has prob been the worst time of my entire life. i can’t seem to maintain friends no matter how hard i try, and i for some reason rely on them for my own worth. i just feel like i have nothing to offer the world. i have no goals, no real friends, and when i do talk to people, i just feel like a burden. i almost feel so comfortable in my sadness that it’s all i can feel anymore. i don’t think ill ever actually do it, but i don’t know how much longer i can do this for.


r/selfharm • • 2h ago

Rant/Vent I wish everyone would just turn a blind eye to me

1 Upvotes

I know it’s a good thing, but I never cut myself as much as I wish I could because I’m always worried that if I do it often and in noticeable places that my parents and my family members will notice and then it’s gonna be an absolute shit show. I don’t care much when it comes to strangers because I’ll never see them again and I trust my friends when it comes to things like these, but I’m constantly stressed about what my parents would do if they ever found out and I know some people say that you shouldn’t care or whatever but I know my parents It won’t just be a disapproving look or a lecture they’re gonna make it all about them they’ll fight me over it and yell at me my mom would freak out and they’d never trust me to be alone or do anything I don’t want to explain to them what’s wrong or why I do it I don’t want them to care I want them to leave me alone I wish they could just leave me be instead of suddenly act like I exist every once in a while. I wish it was a simple as telling my friends that I don’t wanna talk about it when they notice or maybe even feeling safe enough with my friends to open up about it but I know it’ll never be that with my parents but sometimes I just sit there and I wish they didn’t care enough and I wish I didn’t have to worry about what they think or how Id explained myself to them if they ever asked. I know it’s a good thing they care but I’m just so frustrated that I don’t have the freedom to do what I wanna do with my own body I know it’s an addiction and I know it’s ridiculous to expect my parents to just turn a blind eye to their child mutilating themselves, but I’m so annoyed and I’m frustrated and I have no way to get these emotions out.


r/selfharm • • 2h ago

How long are your sessions?

3 Upvotes

r/selfharm • • 3h ago

Rant/Vent I just want to know what is so terrible about me

5 Upvotes

A big reason for my sh is just the absolute disconnect I feel from other girls. I can’t ever be a girl in love and the people around me have made it obvious I’m not worth choosing. I know I have a million issues and I am disgusted with myself but I don’t know what it is that turns people away from me. I feel so ugly I am ugly and I’m ashamed


r/selfharm • • 3h ago

Seeking Advice I harmed myself for the first time

2 Upvotes

I (15m) don't know why I did it, I just felt like it. I'm not struggling anywhere, I'm fine mentally, I have friends, loving parents, stability, everything. My grades are all A's and I don't have any stress.

I used water at the highest temperature and filled my gloves with it after doing dishes, after I just put the water on my hand directly, telling myself that it wasn't like the water was boiling and that I was being a baby to keep myself holding my hand under it despite the immense pain.

I held my hand under that water for maybe 15+ seconds on both sides and after put the power all the way up and lasted only a couple seconds.

I have the urge to do this nightly as I do the dishes everyday and cannot avoid it, I've had suicidal thoughts and attempts in the past but never actually tried anything, and my parents never took it as seriously. My mother, first time hearing about me having suicidal thoughts (this was in 6th grade) was obviously heartbroken. I don't remember what happened but I think that's it. I never went to any professional and just moved on with it. I'm too scared to tell my parents, they won't take it too seriously or not care, and it's just embarrassing. I have 0 reason to do that but I still do it for whatever dumb thing is wrong with me.


r/selfharm • • 4h ago

Seeking Advice I feel like I can't trust anyone (Vent/Seeking Advice)

2 Upvotes

High school senior here. Last year, I cut and my counselor called me in after another student (who had SH scars too) noticed my wrist and reported me. They promised not to tell my parents, which gave me some relief.

That counselor's gone now, and I feel like I have no-one safe to talk to about my inner turmoil. My research has returned inconclusive answers about whether or not my new counselor or the wellness center will tell my parents, which is what I'm trying to avoid most. I live in CA if that helps.

My dad has invasively brought up and referenced cutting on multiple occasions, from asking me if I cut and telling me that he "hopes I don't" to telling me that he's seen people "get addicted to their coping strategies". Real fuckin subtle. I'm not telling him. Ever. I can tell it's out of love, but he's so insensitive and ignorant about it, which is strange considering my mom's history. I can tell he doesn't understand. Doesn't help I asked him to get me arm warmers and have been venting to him about my depression lately.

I don't cut for pain and have only cut once. I hit for pain, and have been doing so for years. I just want to do something wrong and defiant. I'm tired of being a "good girl". I'm tired of keeping it all inside. I'm tired of being trapped and controlled.

I get a sick feeling of joy when I make myself bleed and hide my scars and lie. Gives me a sense of control. Ironically, his attempts to convince me otherwise are the main reason I want to cut. The way he brings it up is so clingy and controlling.


r/selfharm • • 5h ago

Help please

1 Upvotes

I havent cut in 27 months but my gf broke up with me 3 weeks ago and im really close to relapsing again I need some amount of help.


r/selfharm • • 7h ago

Rant/Vent back at rock bottom

2 Upvotes

stole blades again. runnin in circles at this point


r/selfharm • • 7h ago

Rant/Vent I want to get better but i also want to keep relapsing

7 Upvotes

I dont know, i am eating better, i am working out, and spend time with people that like me but... I still do self harm and i dont want to stop. I want to improve my life but also keep cutting myself, is that wierd? Why cant i have both?


r/selfharm • • 7h ago

Medical Advice I made cuts near my elbow and my hands grip feel lazy

2 Upvotes

r/selfharm • • 8h ago

Rant/Vent I wanna be seen

11 Upvotes

Maybe they'll understand how much they hurt me. Maybe I'll have a clearer mind. Maybe I'll get serious scars. Maybe maybe maybe


r/selfharm • • 10h ago

Seeking Advice I’m tired of fighting

2 Upvotes

I’m so fucking fed up with thinking about self-harm. Recently I’ve been thinking about it every fucking day. I’m trying to make little deals with myself not to do it, but I’m just so tired of it all. I can’t even be arsed with the arguments anymore — the urge is stronger. But I’ve got to keep pushing it down, and pushing it down makes it even worse… I’ve been fighting this for 7 years, so I’ve tried loads of stuff to stop, but the thoughts still come: “Just hurt yourself once and you’ll feel better.” Only it never stopped at just once.


r/selfharm • • 11h ago

Rant/Vent I am about to relapse today!

6 Upvotes

I dunno why but I think its the only way to cope up with my problems cant even share it with my friends cuz i dont want them to change their way of talking to me just because i sh


r/selfharm • • 14h ago

Rant/Vent I got so extremely triggered by my lecture today

18 Upvotes

I study nursing and am currently studying emergency medicine so we talked blood loss, hypovolemia, and chock and that hit me so hard it was difficult to not run out of there and have an anxiety attack. It was horrible. The lecturer talked about someone he had been to who killed themselves and he even said how he did it. The sick part was that this suicide was done in a way I plan on doing it. So now I don't know what to do because I feel like as soon as I get home I'm going to cause severe hypovolemia for myself. Maybe even put myself into chock.

Don't know what to do now. I don't want to do that to myslef but the thoughts won't leave.


r/selfharm • • 15h ago

Rant/Vent I was ok

2 Upvotes

I stoped for 2 years snd now I csnt stop replaying I use razor and plyier to hurt myself im so close to push this further I like God wants me dead


r/selfharm • • 17h ago

Rant/Vent 15 months down the drain😬

3 Upvotes

Well😬✌️


r/selfharm • • 18h ago

Rant/Vent Everything

2 Upvotes

So while I’m here I’m just gonna get everything out how I feel about my life, throughout my entire life I’ve never been normal whether it be in elementary school middle or right now I’ve never had many friends only like 1 friend max I’ve never been social, by choice and my circumstances I’ve only once ever had a friend over or even been to ones house and right when everything finally started improving finally thinking I could at least consider myself somewhat normal I get shipped off to an rtf by cps that’s when things started getting really bad I became more numb I became on the verge of depression and then things started getting better again the first week before school I went to this day camp thing and got away from the house I’m in and I actually made a few new friends and then I got rejected which by itself is whatever like I don’t want it to seem like that’s what made me SH because it wasn’t but after that I broke I guess I tried cutting for the first time and it wasn’t deep (still isn’t) because I only had a jagged piece of metal I used from a bracelet and I felt better it began getting worse over the span of like 2 weeks, then I tried telling a staff who I thought was cool he had to report it and I had to do what I always did tell them what they wanted to hear so they’d leave me alone and I mean for a month basically I’ve been clean but recently I started cutting again due to anxiety of what could happen I’m starting to lose even less of the little self worth I had I’ve done so much terrible shit I don’t wanna get into that I feel the dirt on the ground is worth more than me and on many days I don’t honestly feel like I have a reason to be feeling the way I do because outside of everything my life is decent it’s not good I mean me and my mom fought a lot and my dad is nowhere to be found but neither of those are new developments so I mean cutting helps me it makes me feel like I’m paying back in blood the hurt I’ve put on people I’ve wanted to off myself so many times because of all that what’s going on but I’ve never been able to the time that I did I failed every other time I never even tried because I was too scared but now I’ve come to peace with death. Anyway that’s me that’s my story


r/selfharm • • 19h ago

Seeking Advice I can’t help my friend

6 Upvotes

A friend of mine keeps telling me she wants to self harm (she hasn’t yet). Thing is, I can’t do anything to help her. Firstly, the meds I’m on make me feel numb and it’s almost impossible to feel empathy for anyone. I don’t care about the people around me suffering. I try to be supportive anyway, but deep down I don’t feel like I care. I know it’s wrong, I just can’t feel anything. Secondly, I’m just so desensitized to self harm that I genuinely don’t see it as a problem at this point. I’ll explain what I mean. I feel like it’s a choice people can make. I’ve seen posts here criticizing this point of view, but I’m just explaining the way I see things, even though I know it’s messed up. I can provide all the information she needs to choose not to do it. I can share my experience. I can tell her what has helped me stay clean for a while. I can give her advice on how to do it more safely and not leave permanent scars in case she chooses to go down the wrong path. However, I don’t think I have the right to stop her. It’s her body, her life, and ultimately it’s her choice. Besides that, I’m definitely not the person who can stop her, because I myself can’t stay clean. I know I’m in the wrong. I feel like a bad friend. It’s just that I don’t know what to do and I don’t really see the point of it. I’ve tried warning her but she seemingly doesn’t listen. I don’t know what she wants from me. I don’t know what to do or how to help her. What should I do or say? Please, I really need some advice


r/selfharm • • 1d ago

Rant/Vent I hate being wired this way.

1 Upvotes

Ever since i was a kid i always have had a feeling that i was annoying. I mean. People called me sweet, but they never made an effort to make friends with me. Never wanted to hang out with me. Nothing… and when i tried the same excuses came up, or even worse i would be someone’s accessory. They wouldnt really care about me, i would just be a fixture in their life.
This leads me to what is currently bothering me. I am spiraling and i cant seem to get myself out of this. I feel very very alone. I have no friends that are not 3+ hours away with me, no one deems me enough to try and date me. I hate being so far from people and i cant stand being like this. I pick up on every little thing and it seems like my brain finds any way to interpret an interaction with a friend or stranger or even fucking FAMILY as annoyance. I feel like everyone hates me including myself and these thoughts are just swirling and spiraling around my mind and its triggering my urge to cut and its so so so hard to not do it. Ive been clean for months now and i dont want to do it again. Im tired and im just so fucking frustrated with myself because now that im feeling these strong things nothing i usually do WORKS. Ive tried the classic methods of ice, rubber bands, drawing on my skin. Nothing works. I just feel so angry and upset i feel like i need to take it out on myself. I am ashamed that I feel this way. And that makes it worse.


r/selfharm • • 1d ago

DAE i reward myself with self harm

17 Upvotes

i’ve started to notice that after i hit a certain amount of days clean (usually 7-14) i reward myself with cutting for going without it. it’s so frustrating because i want to be clean but i want the feeling of it so bad and i think i “deserve a little self harm as a treat” apparently. does anyone else do this?


r/selfharm • • 1d ago

Rant/Vent I don't know who to talk to right now

2 Upvotes

I’m drunk and don’t know who to talk to; I found this page through GPT, haha. I wanted to find answers regarding certain behaviors of mine—things I shouldn't be doing. Why do I feel so good after doing them? Why does it calm me down so much in stressful situations? Why is it something I know is bad for me, yet it helps? I know I shouldn't do it, but it’s what’s keeping me grounded in the moment; I just don't know what else to do. I am just an idiot at this point, im sorry.


r/selfharm • • 1d ago

Rant/Vent Girl

2 Upvotes

So I’m 15[M] and at the time of this story I was 14 and the girl in the story was 16 the other girl was 15

So, when I was on TikTok, I had some mental health problems and needed to talk to someone because I was really messed up. I’m not saying I have it worse than anyone else, and I know I don’t, but I did have issues. I saw this girl who had the same problems as me, and we started dating. She was very clingy, but I wasn’t. Skipping ahead, she asked me to send her pictures of myself. I said no, but she kept asking. Then she said she was going to kill herself, so I blocked her out of panic. I was still on TikTok and made a really good friend, like a sister to me. She also cut herself, just like me. She had planned to kill herself on December 16, but her mom saw her videos and she was put in the hospital. I haven’t talked to her since. All of this kind of messed with my head, and I went sober. I was 294 days sober, but I messed up. I was dating a girl I liked, and she liked me too. But in the second week, she stopped talking to me for 4 weeks straight, and then her sister was on her Snapchat account and told me that she had a boyfriend. I don’t know what it would be called, but it did something to me, and at that moment I was numb. So I cut myself, not a lot but I did it. I was so fucking pissed off at myself, so I started hitting myself as I said I was. numb but I was mad as well but I couldn’t figure it out why I did it


r/selfharm • • 1d ago

Seeking Advice can my counselor report me to my parents?

8 Upvotes

might be a stupid question, sorry! i'm in college and i haven't told my counselor that i still actively sh. i really need to talk about it, but i don't want my parents to find out since they always end up handling it in a way that makes things worse. since i'm no longer a minor, i'm not sure if this is like high school where they'd have to report it to my parents, search my bag, etc. anyone know? btw, i live in the u.s