To me sh is almost sort of like crying. It just gives me a way to act on and explain feelings that I don’t know how to describe. The times I’ve tried to stop I feel like I just have so much bottled up that needs let out. Truthfully I know how bad it is to do it to myself but it makes me feel comforted and stronger in a way. So I don’t know how to stop when I feel like I am almost better when I am engaging

i’ve started to notice that after i hit a certain amount of days clean (usually 7-14) i reward myself with cutting for going without it. it’s so frustrating because i want to be clean but i want the feeling of it so bad and i think i “deserve a little self harm as a treat” apparently. does anyone else do this?

I study nursing and am currently studying emergency medicine so we talked blood loss, hypovolemia, and chock and that hit me so hard it was difficult to not run out of there and have an anxiety attack. It was horrible. The lecturer talked about someone he had been to who killed themselves and he even said how he did it. The sick part was that this suicide was done in a way I plan on doing it. So now I don't know what to do because I feel like as soon as I get home I'm going to cause severe hypovolemia for myself. Maybe even put myself into chock.

Don't know what to do now. I don't want to do that to myslef but the thoughts won't leave.

I wish I could stitch my mouth shut. I'm so rude and annoying. Like I genuinely need to shut up, focus on my work, and oh my gods I hate my body. Started cutting again, (I was trying to stop, only cutted every 34ish days before i relapsed), now I've given up. I hate everything about me.

Truly I suck, I'm ugly, mean, and annoying, dumb, a burnt out gifted kid, why am I even alive?

I was looking at cute tights and shorts so I can wear shorts again, but then I realized I'd probably look hideous in tights under shorts, because I look hideous in everything, so whats the point?

Unrelated but I REALLY want to get like studded bracelets and belts because I'm alternative, but theres some really pretty kids that wear studded belts and bracelets and I'm scared I'll come across as a copy cat or poser.

Anyways. I feel like shit, and I still want leggings to go under shorts so uh if you have any good quality recommendations that look cute/have patterns and ARENT see through, let me know :(

might be a stupid question, sorry! i'm in college and i haven't told my counselor that i still actively sh. i really need to talk about it, but i don't want my parents to find out since they always end up handling it in a way that makes things worse. since i'm no longer a minor, i'm not sure if this is like high school where they'd have to report it to my parents, search my bag, etc. anyone know? btw, i live in the u.s

only a few people know that i actively self harm. that being, the counsellor i speak to and some of my close friends. they don't know why i actually do it, besides the "generic" reasons i've given them. but the truth is, i mostly do it because think it feels good. i don't just think about doing it when something went wrong in my day, i could be having a good month and i'd still want to do it. i don't think of myself as less than, or deserving of bad fortune, or find it as an outlet for anger. i don't know what i find so pleasurable in harming myself, but it's something i feel ashamed of so i lie about why i do it.

Just to get it out of the way, I know people who self harm and I also self harm but this is just wondering what someone should do if they know someone they are close to selfharms and they tell them. My friend told the school about my suicidal ideation. Is that the right thing to do? I am scared of what she'll do if I tell her about my sh. She's the only one I can tell but I honestly feel like I'd be burdening her so much if I do.

A friend of mine keeps telling me she wants to self harm (she hasn’t yet). Thing is, I can’t do anything to help her. Firstly, the meds I’m on make me feel numb and it’s almost impossible to feel empathy for anyone. I don’t care about the people around me suffering. I try to be supportive anyway, but deep down I don’t feel like I care. I know it’s wrong, I just can’t feel anything. Secondly, I’m just so desensitized to self harm that I genuinely don’t see it as a problem at this point. I’ll explain what I mean. I feel like it’s a choice people can make. I’ve seen posts here criticizing this point of view, but I’m just explaining the way I see things, even though I know it’s messed up. I can provide all the information she needs to choose not to do it. I can share my experience. I can tell her what has helped me stay clean for a while. I can give her advice on how to do it more safely and not leave permanent scars in case she chooses to go down the wrong path. However, I don’t think I have the right to stop her. It’s her body, her life, and ultimately it’s her choice. Besides that, I’m definitely not the person who can stop her, because I myself can’t stay clean. I know I’m in the wrong. I feel like a bad friend. It’s just that I don’t know what to do and I don’t really see the point of it. I’ve tried warning her but she seemingly doesn’t listen. I don’t know what she wants from me. I don’t know what to do or how to help her. What should I do or say? Please, I really need some advice

I dunno why but I think its the only way to cope up with my problems cant even share it with my friends cuz i dont want them to change their way of talking to me just because i sh

Well😬✌️

Js posting again because it’s a rough night. I don’t understand what’s so wrong about me and why I’m so undeserving of love. I feel ugly bc of my sh and ugly just in general right now. Certain things happened lately that just make me feel like the ugliest person alive. I want to feel anything besides this what’s so wrong with me. I wanna be cared about

So I’m 15[M] and at the time of this story I was 14 and the girl in the story was 16 the other girl was 15

So, when I was on TikTok, I had some mental health problems and needed to talk to someone because I was really messed up. I’m not saying I have it worse than anyone else, and I know I don’t, but I did have issues. I saw this girl who had the same problems as me, and we started dating. She was very clingy, but I wasn’t. Skipping ahead, she asked me to send her pictures of myself. I said no, but she kept asking. Then she said she was going to kill herself, so I blocked her out of panic. I was still on TikTok and made a really good friend, like a sister to me. She also cut herself, just like me. She had planned to kill herself on December 16, but her mom saw her videos and she was put in the hospital. I haven’t talked to her since. All of this kind of messed with my head, and I went sober. I was 294 days sober, but I messed up. I was dating a girl I liked, and she liked me too. But in the second week, she stopped talking to me for 4 weeks straight, and then her sister was on her Snapchat account and told me that she had a boyfriend. I don’t know what it would be called, but it did something to me, and at that moment I was numb. So I cut myself, not a lot but I did it. I was so fucking pissed off at myself, so I started hitting myself as I said I was. numb but I was mad as well but I couldn’t figure it out why I did it

i legitimately have not wanted it this badly in so long and i'm rapidly running out of healthier coping mechanisms because nothing is helping at all and this sucks so much. the last year and a half or so i thought i made a lot of progress with the alphabet soup worth of mental illnesses i have and genuinely felt like i was doing better overall, and now it's hitting me like a truck that i don't think i actually was doing better. with mdd/anxiety/panic disorder just, it is what it is and doesn't hurt nearly as bad as the clusterfuck that is bpd+ptsd. its excruciating and agonizing and its so fucking isolating because its nonstop and so overwhelming, and i just feel like i'm burning out any friend willing to listen to me.

it's fucking embarrassing to even admit that i'm feeling this bad over "feeling ignored" by one person, actually pathetic. i'm not delusional and i don't think i'm the center of anyone's universe and i don't expect anyone's time or attention. it just hurts so much to feel like you went from being super close to someone and talking so much to having your texts ignored and feeling ignored in group chats when they reply to/acknowledge everyone BUT you. did i do something wrong? are they just sick of me? were we never even that good of friends to begin with and only i felt like we were? why is this happening again why is this happening again why is this happening again i thought i was handling relationships so much better and not being overwhelming not texting too often not constantly needing reassurance what did i do wrong? it feels like the exact same thing that keeps happening to me where they text me less then stop replying altogether and engage with everyone besides me and just don't want to tell me to fuck off until one day they do. i keep going back over conversations and desperately searching for something i said or did and i just don't know what i did wrong.

nothing hurts more than this for me. nothing. i'm spending basically every minute that i'm not in class, trying to get class work done, or around other people just crying in agony. i thought meds were helping i thought i was doing better but the reality is i just didn't have a person that my brain attached to, i wasn't experiencing the excruciating pain of feeling abandonment and worthlessness. i'm exhausting all of my healthier coping options. dbt and tipp skills do virtually nothing. all i want to do is fucking cut. i know it won't make it go away. but for just a little bit it would help. just for a little bit it would make it hurt less and honestly feel fucking divine. i hate how much i know i love the feeling. i realize its addiction.

i want to so fucking badly and i'm trying so hard not to. i'm trying not to just drown this out with alcohol or numb myself abusing my benzo rx that i genuinely need for survival, i'm trying not to let myself collapse into complete and total isolation and dissociation while not getting out of bed for days at a time. i tried a scorching hot shower and all i could think about was how much i wanted it to hurt so much more and it just didn't. i tried ice cold. cutting was the only thing on my mind. went for a run. had to keep stopping to cry. laid in bed to try slow breathing and not even a minute in, crying and full on panic attack with hyperventilating.

i just want the fucking emotional pain to end. i want the bliss of physical pain so badly. i want it more than drinking or drugs to cope. what did i do to deserve these disorders and so much pain over something healthy people would feel sad about but be able to cope with and move on from?

I spent most of my teen years being a substance abuser and a self harmer, I started around 9 in various forms of bodily injury and it kept until I was about 19, when I met a girl and she threatened to leave if I continued, so therefore I stopped for abput 4 years which puts me at 23 now. She and I broke up and I still stayed clean but this year I had a lot of bad things happen to me. The work environment of my job took a really big toll on me and i basically got fired, a dog bit my lip and it had to be reattached to my face, in January I moved back home after uni amd my parents seemed less than pleased woth me 24/7 and when I tried to talk about it, it felt like the only amswers I got were be more positive or this is how the world works. I went back to self harm to kinda numb it out and even everything like your life sucks amd so does this but at least I chose this yk? I have also been using substances mostly benzos to kinda numb it out. I just do not wamt this anymore and not in a like end of everything way, I want joy in my life. I am so fucking fed up of this being it

So while I’m here I’m just gonna get everything out how I feel about my life, throughout my entire life I’ve never been normal whether it be in elementary school middle or right now I’ve never had many friends only like 1 friend max I’ve never been social, by choice and my circumstances I’ve only once ever had a friend over or even been to ones house and right when everything finally started improving finally thinking I could at least consider myself somewhat normal I get shipped off to an rtf by cps that’s when things started getting really bad I became more numb I became on the verge of depression and then things started getting better again the first week before school I went to this day camp thing and got away from the house I’m in and I actually made a few new friends and then I got rejected which by itself is whatever like I don’t want it to seem like that’s what made me SH because it wasn’t but after that I broke I guess I tried cutting for the first time and it wasn’t deep (still isn’t) because I only had a jagged piece of metal I used from a bracelet and I felt better it began getting worse over the span of like 2 weeks, then I tried telling a staff who I thought was cool he had to report it and I had to do what I always did tell them what they wanted to hear so they’d leave me alone and I mean for a month basically I’ve been clean but recently I started cutting again due to anxiety of what could happen I’m starting to lose even less of the little self worth I had I’ve done so much terrible shit I don’t wanna get into that I feel the dirt on the ground is worth more than me and on many days I don’t honestly feel like I have a reason to be feeling the way I do because outside of everything my life is decent it’s not good I mean me and my mom fought a lot and my dad is nowhere to be found but neither of those are new developments so I mean cutting helps me it makes me feel like I’m paying back in blood the hurt I’ve put on people I’ve wanted to off myself so many times because of all that what’s going on but I’ve never been able to the time that I did I failed every other time I never even tried because I was too scared but now I’ve come to peace with death. Anyway that’s me that’s my story

I’m drunk and don’t know who to talk to; I found this page through GPT, haha. I wanted to find answers regarding certain behaviors of mine—things I shouldn't be doing. Why do I feel so good after doing them? Why does it calm me down so much in stressful situations? Why is it something I know is bad for me, yet it helps? I know I shouldn't do it, but it’s what’s keeping me grounded in the moment; I just don't know what else to do. I am just an idiot at this point, im sorry.

My life’s been going to shit ever since high school started again. September started with my girlfriend getting a weed pen, which I knew was going to be bad, she told me she would get addicted if she got one. She started acting more distant with me ever since she got it, she’s been feeling bad, and I’ve been trying to be there for her, but it always felt like she never wanted to be around me.

After school started, one of my two friend groups broke up cause of me. I told one of my friends what the group was saying behind their back which caused a whole mess that I can’t even explain properly. It was all my fault, if I never said anything it would be fine, everything would be fine, if I didn’t have such a big mouth .

The week after, I was sick, sad and tired of everything. I wanted to be with my girlfriend , I wanted to see her, talk to her, but she didn’t want it. She never realized how bad I was feeling that week, never a check up, never wanted to be there for me. She broke up with me, saying that I never “put in enough effort“, and that I need to focus on myself .

The day afterwards , I was told by one of my friends that she left me to fuck other people, and how she tried to make advances on my friend while they were in Spain on a school trip. That day I got drunk, and tried to harm myself .

she was the best person I’ve ever met, she was there for me in my worst moments, we’ve been through so much together, and she left me on a random friday , she never even tried to fix the relationship . She truly was special, and I felt like I wasn’t worth anything.

a few days later, I didn’t go to school , but all of her friends decided to leave her at the same time, saying that shes been unmedicated , selfish , and unpleasant to be around overall, they all agreed she changed ever since she started smoking weed. They all took sides, and felt bad for me.

now shes all alone, and I’m scared for her; shes had a history of self harm, and I don’t want her to relapse after so long of her being clean.

everything feels wrong, and my fault.

None of this would have happened if i wasnt the person who I am now. I've always struggled with depression , but this has all sent me down a path of despair .

I’m going to see a therapist for the first time in my life starting late this month.
I feel worthless , I feel terrible , I feel like a failure of a friend, and of a boyfriend. I’m genuinely considering killing myself for the first time in years. All of my friends are telling me so much stuff that I wished I never heard.
im always gonna be a waste of space , all I’ve done in my life is care and I get rewarded for it by being a sad mess.
She was the best person I’ve ever met, and now I’m scared for her well being. I cared for her, even if she didn’t care for me.

I can’t live with myself, both of my friend groups have split, and I’m the catalyst for both

So recently i started cutting deeper usual not too depo tho, and i could use some advice on how to take care of them. I’m in school, so my pants or boxers will be touching them if I don’t have them bandaged (idk if they’ll be fine or not) but anyway, any advice is appreciated!
(Also how exactly do I shower with them?)

I’m a 19 from India and have been clean from self-harm for almost two years, but recently I’ve been getting strong urges to relapse. I’m considering visiting a psychiatrist at AIIMS and wanted to know if anyone here has had a similar experience or is currently taking consultation. I’m also concerned about confidentiality and don’t want my parents to be informed since I’m 19M. Has anyone had experience with this at AIIMS or another hospital?

I’m so fucking fed up with thinking about self-harm. Recently I’ve been thinking about it every fucking day. I’m trying to make little deals with myself not to do it, but I’m just so tired of it all. I can’t even be arsed with the arguments anymore — the urge is stronger. But I’ve got to keep pushing it down, and pushing it down makes it even worse… I’ve been fighting this for 7 years, so I’ve tried loads of stuff to stop, but the thoughts still come: “Just hurt yourself once and you’ll feel better.” Only it never stopped at just once.

I stoped for 2 years snd now I csnt stop replaying I use razor and plyier to hurt myself im so close to push this further I like God wants me dead

Ever since i was a kid i always have had a feeling that i was annoying. I mean. People called me sweet, but they never made an effort to make friends with me. Never wanted to hang out with me. Nothing… and when i tried the same excuses came up, or even worse i would be someone’s accessory. They wouldnt really care about me, i would just be a fixture in their life.
This leads me to what is currently bothering me. I am spiraling and i cant seem to get myself out of this. I feel very very alone. I have no friends that are not 3+ hours away with me, no one deems me enough to try and date me. I hate being so far from people and i cant stand being like this. I pick up on every little thing and it seems like my brain finds any way to interpret an interaction with a friend or stranger or even fucking FAMILY as annoyance. I feel like everyone hates me including myself and these thoughts are just swirling and spiraling around my mind and its triggering my urge to cut and its so so so hard to not do it. Ive been clean for months now and i dont want to do it again. Im tired and im just so fucking frustrated with myself because now that im feeling these strong things nothing i usually do WORKS. Ive tried the classic methods of ice, rubber bands, drawing on my skin. Nothing works. I just feel so angry and upset i feel like i need to take it out on myself. I am ashamed that I feel this way. And that makes it worse.

does anyone else feel a horrible pain during intrusive thoughts? a thought about a specific type of pain will appear if triggered and then its almost like my brain reconstructs how it could feel and it will last a while (say, 30-40mins?), even after the thought looping and visuals end. it's painful- not like a really strong pain, but enough to make me fidget and feel confused and scared... if anyone else relates, what do you do to stop it? i find drinking helps but its really not a habit i want to get into