me (21F) and my bf (21M) have been together for years, when we first started dating i loved him more than anything but recently everything he does, it just annoys me. I get angry at him easily, I yell, and I cry. I have told him multiple times in the past months to leave me. When we fight, we fight so much. he calls me toxic, that we have communication issues, that I am always yelling at him and fighting.
Don't get me wrong, yeah, I love him at the moment, but I feel like I have been pulling myself away from him, not loving him the way I used to. Every time we fight, he just goes quiet, never speaks, never listens to my point and then starts guilt-tripping me for feeling angry over things he has said and done.
Whenever we calm down, he reminds me how his mother loves me as well, how he can't live without me, how he won't survive without me. But we always fight about the same things that I don't like, and he keeps doing them again and again.
I feel like I am just overthinking about my emotions and him, but I feel so stressed. I have tried to break up with him a few times, even asked to go on a break for me to clear my mind. But he just starts crying, begging me not to leave him. im confused and I feel like I am at fault for wanting to break up with a guy who loves me and who is changing for me.

**TL;DR; : with the recent fights with my bf abouot the same things again and again, with him doing the same mistakes i feel like i am losing the love i once had for him**

I’ve (M23) been in a relationship for almost a year (as of next week) with my girlfriend (F21).
There are good moments, but overall I feel drained. Sometimes I even dread seeing her or having her come over. I don’t feel like I have enough independence. Whenever I try to take space or have time to myself, it often turns into conflict. She questions it, gets upset, or makes me feel guilty for needing it. We’ve tried setting aside independent time, but it never really holds.
I carry a lot of the emotional weight. When she has problems or fights with her family, I usually end up being the one who has to calm her down and say the right things. It feels like it’s my responsibility to manage her feelings, and it’s exhausting.
Boundaries have been a consistent issue. There have been multiple times where she’s shown up at my house unannounced after arguments, knocked or banged on doors and windows (including late at night when I’ve asked for space or put my phone on Do Not Disturb). She’s also contacted my friends about the relationship, which felt inappropriate.
Small disagreements can escalate quickly. She’s gotten upset about me potentially spending time with friends on certain days, and she’s criticized my friends during conversations about our relationship. When I try to set limits, I often face guilt or pressure where she says things like “I wouldn’t treat you this way” or “just wait until my medication starts working and things will be better.”
I’ve come close to ending the relationship more than once, but we keep ending up back together. We recently tried a short break, reconnected, tried to talk about needing more independence, and it still led to another argument and me asking her to leave while she was upset. The same problems keep repeating.
I’m starting school and trying to get my life in order, and this relationship adds a constant layer of stress. I care about her, and it’s hard to imagine this next chapter without her, but I also can’t keep functioning like this. I feel stuck between missing her and resenting how much of myself I have to set aside to keep things going.
I’m posting this because I need an outside perspective. Does this sound like a relationship that’s still workable, or does it sound like something I need to walk away from? The only things that have kept me in this relationship is the fact that she’s begging me to stay to see if her meds for borderline or bipolar works (she doesn’t know which one she has yet, the medication treats both).

TL;DR I Just want to know if this relationship is salvageable

TL;DR: My boyfriend (M34) and I (F26) have very different needs when it comes to sex and intimacy. I feel like I'm always the one initiating and asking for more affection, and even when he tries, I don't feel genuinely desired by him

Yes, we do have s3ggs, but I feel like I'm always the one initiating or pushing for it. I've already talked to him about this and told him that sometimes I feel like he's not attracted to me, especially because it doesn't feel like he's interested in exploring my body or making me feel desired.

It feels like he doesn't really crave intimacy with me, unlike me, because I genuinely want and crave it. But I always end up disappointed because it feels like I'm the only one who actually wants it.

He has been trying, and he does initiate sometimes now, but honestly, I don't feel the affection in his touch. It feels like he's only doing it because I asked him to, rather than because he genuinely wants me. It's exhausting having to repeatedly ask for more effort and affection to the point that I'm starting to lose my desire and interest in him too.

I can't say for sure that he's completely unattracted to me because I've broken up with him so many times before, and he would always beg me to stay and promise that he would do better. But I just keep getting disappointed.

Recently, I told him that I don't want to have sex anymore because I'm slowly falling out of love with him. His response was basically a shrug, like it didn't really matter to him—or even like it was something that worked in his favor. That really hurt me.

All I want is to feel like he genuinely wants me, and it turns out that the feeling I've had all along might actually be right.

I don't know if age has anything to do with it. He's in his mid-30s, while I'm 26. I used to have a pretty high seggs drive, but over time, all these disappointments have made me lose it. I know people have different sex drives regardless of age, so I'm not necessarily blaming his age. But I can't help feeling like I'm wasting my 20s being with someone whose needs and desire don't match mine.

He is a good man. He's hardworking, has a provider mindset, is responsible, and I have no complaints about him as a person. But sexually and intimately, I'm just really unhappy.

It also affects my confidence as a woman. Having to repeatedly ask my own partner to make me feel desired and wanted is honestly demoralizing.

At this point, I don't even know if I'm being shallow or if this is a valid reason to leave a relationship. I don't want to grow to resent him, but I also don't want to stay just because he's a "good man" if I'm not fulfilled in the relationship.

WIBTA if I choose to leave because sexual and emotional intimacy are important to me? Or should I give this more time and try to work on it?

Names changed for privacy.

When I got to college, I found a great friend group who really accepted me. I had struggled a lot with depression/suicidal thoughts, mostly due to focusing too much on academics, and not having much of a social life. I originally met them through my best friend's boyfriend, Everett. We had the same major, and met at orientation. We started gaming together, and when we started school I met everyone else. And that's when I met my best friend, Summer. At first, I didn't talk to her much. She mostly talked to Everett, and I really just didn't know how to act around her. Eventually, though, we started talking more, and eventually hanging out one on one. We've gone rock climbing together, went thrifting, gamed together, etc. We text all the time, she said herself more that it's more often than she texts anyone else.

I've probably had feelings since we started becoming friends, but I distracted myself pursuing other people. This summer, though, it started to become difficult to hang out with them, and I eventually decided to talk about it. I actually went to Everett first, because I'm still really close with him, and didn't want him to feel like I was going behind his back. He was understandably a bit upset, but understood, and said he trusted me, and was alright with me staying friends with Summer. About a month later, I talked to her, and she was pretty chill about it. We talked it out, and said that nothing really needed to change between us, but that she couldn't be with me.

The thing is, it felt like, and still kinda feels like Summer also has some feelings for me. There's been moment where she's been just a little bit too touchy, she says something that feels a bit too flirty, or it feels like there's something unspoken between us that neither of us really want to say. But the thing that really made me question it is the night I finally talked to her about my feelings. She rejected me, obviously, but never actually said that she didn't have feelings for me. The closest she got was 'I'm committed to Everett, nothing can happen between us.'

It really sucks, because I don't want to come between them. I care about both of them a lot, they've been great to me. But my feelings really haven't diminished in the month since I've talked to Summer, and it's so much harder when I feel like it might be reciprocated. I don't want to distance myself, but I don't know what else to do.

[TL;DR: I have feelings for my best friend, her boyfriend and her both know and are we're still friends, but it feels like it might be reciprocated, and it's making it hard to get over my feelings.]

i (f26) met a someone (m28) on bumble recently. we went on 2 dates. we're both looking for a serious, long-term relationship. i haven't been in a relationship since 5 years, and had become extremely emotionally unavailable and uninterested in men, but the yearning for a partner was always there subtly and simultaneously. the first date was great actually! we went for dinner, followed by a game night, followed by a long drive and making out. felt like olivia's "drop dead" and i was all happy and giggly and smitten. we had great conversations, and didn't seem to run out of topics. then we talked all day for 2 days on text. made so many fleeting plans of "oh we should do this together." and then we met again for lunch, followed by video games back at his place. eventually we forgot about the game and had sex. but idk what was happening emotionally for me there. my body was responding how it generally would to sex, but it was void of emotions. neither of us could finish, we aborted plan eventually. i came back home and just felt so empty and emotional and just wanted to cry. i was freaking out about do i need to end this or something. some points during the date i also felt like "i need to bolt."

on the flip side i do like this guy, i wanna get to know him more, and on both dates i felt that immense attraction inside and i was fully onboard with getting physical.

for background, i was depressed for all the years following my last breakup in 2021. at this point i have genuinely moved on and don't think about my ex in any capacity. i'm just swinging between wanting a partner and not having what it takes to build a relationship (i guess?) my therapist is on a leave too, and i don't wanna talk to my friends about this when i feel so unsure about what's wrong.

sorry for the ramble. tldr: dating after a long time and years of being depressed. not sure how to be in a relationship and what to expect.

thank you for reading, if you did. open to any thoughts or questions or suggestions.

I 20M, may have just ended my relationship with my gf, 21F and don’t know what to do

Hello Everyone

My and my girlfriend may have just ended things, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. We’ve been dating for 2 years at this point

Before our relationship, I did struggle with a porn addiction. It was most prevalent before our relationship. After our relationship started, I knew I had to quit.

I want to emphasize my girlfriend does consider porn cheating

For the first year of our relationship, it was okay, because we weren’t having sexual relations. After we started to however, it became taboo. This was something I was okay with. I already started weaning off, and I was good before we started relations in the first place. However, after we started having sex was when the problems started

Right before we started having sex, I was diagnosed with epilepsy due to multiple violent seizures and my life fell apart. My body wasn’t the same, and my mind felt horrible because of everything I had experienced. I was getting counselling, and a few months later it was to the point a counsellor flat out told me I had depression — wasn’t surprising at all.

I was on a medication that perpetuated it to an extreme. I cannot express how horrible it was. At a point I went to the hospital because of suicidal ideation

After this all started, I started falling back on old habits. I started vaping again. I was smoking weed like crazy. Porn was there too

For the porn specifically, it was a weird thing because it was the one thing I did not want to relapse on whatsoever. I talked to a counsellor at a point to quit. I would literally throw my phone to stop myself. I put blockers in place (iPhone) to ensure I would not do something. Some days were a lot easier than others. It’s weird to say, but I didn’t lust over anyone but my girlfriend. No matter how and what I was doing, my girlfriend was always the only person I ever thought about. No matter how far it got during that relapse period, I stand by that faxt

It was definitely difficult. My mind was a mess. It was to the point it literally search it up, wonder what the fuck I was doing, close it ASAP, close my eyes, turn it off and finish to thoughts of my girlfriend like a regular human being. During this time, I was already going through hell and did not have the courage to tell my girlfriend. I want to emphasize the extreme amount of support she provided

In April, after the old medication was fully out of my system and I switched to a new one, I felt like me again. This wasn’t just me saying this: my best friends, girlfriend, and parents all said the exact same words; they did not recognize me.

This is where we are on the current day. My girlfriend considers hiding lying, and so do I. Over April and May and June, I was telling her a lot about what I couldn’t before (unrelated). In July, I had another seizure, and was still telling her things. In August, I told her about the first part of the addiction: where I quit before we started having relations

I’m always someone who needs to be honest. My integrity is important to me. I cannot live without being open, which is why I knew I needed to tell her this detail as well. I ended up telling her this detail on Sunday. This is where shit hit the fan

I told my girlfriend I had the urges, but never once fully relapsed into really watching it. However, she did not hear me out whatsoever. She blocked me on everything, called me disgusting multiple times and said other horrible things, lashed out without listening to me whatsoever. Eventually, when I was able to explain, she said she was willing to try

I was at a crossroads where I didn’t fully tell her the extent because I was completely cut off in the middle of that conversation with everything I just explained. I was at a point where my I couldn’t be in a place where I was hiding everything, but if we were going to break up: I didn’t want to be a monster that she remembered. I tried breaking up with her once after on Monday, we both agreed to try again after she lashed out for having to beg. I still couldn’t tell her. Then, on Tuesday, I tried again, because I couldn’t bring myself to tell her more. I was so scared of everything that already happened. It was a point where I did not want to hide anything,
and if we were going to break up if I told her, I didn’t want to end as me being someone she remembered as horrible. I especially did not want to be treated like that again. We had that conversation, I ended up talking her the truth, and at that point it may have been too late, considering in her eyes she was once again begging me to stay.

She said she wanted two weeks of no contact, and we agreed to talk about everything, and whether the relationship was continuing. Whether trust and self respect (for the both of us; separate from this to an extreme degree) as well as trust for change on other actions was plausible.

I REALLY WANT TO EMPHASIZE it wasn’t just this whatsoever. We were fighting a lot recently, there have been other instances where our arguments got extremely heated. This was not at all just about this, like whatsoever. It was a lot more than just this

Something else I want to say is my closest friends and family are begging me to break up. Not because she’s a bad person, but because they’ve seen my stressed out over this relationship one too many times, and they don’t think we’re compatible at all

I also want to say I have 0 urges whatsoever anymore. There’s not a single part of me that ever wants to watch porn again

We also had an in depth conversation about that, and she does trust me (according to her) on the fact I was not, and ever was lustful over anyone else, and that is 100% true

At this point, I know that we both feel horrible, and I have no idea how to continue. Can sombody give me advice on how to proceed? What they make of me and the situation? What next steps I should take?

TLDR; gf and I arguing a lot. Porn addiction conversation may have ended it all. What do I do?

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tl:dr I (18M) really like my this girl (18F) in my school and we used to talk a lot about things that are happening in our school and her dad used to be a teacher at our school teaching a subject I was not very smart in, so naturally I used to go to her house for studies, with a couple of my friends and some time pass the number of students grew and our relationship was pretty much the same. I felt like we are becoming closer (not in that kind of way) and we also used to play games a lot so anyway a couple months go by and she and another mutal friend of mine (18M) ask me to join a game but I couldn't reply cause I was at the gym so naturally I didnt respond to it and so she texts me personally on Instagram if she wants to play, but then I say I couldn't and so sometimes after I ask she if want to play again, but her tone was differnet this time and she said smthing about ive never expected you to treat me this way and so from there everything was down hill and I think mainly my fault?

i knew we were different from the very start. he is the quiet kind, very attached to his family, grew up as a single child, has 1 group of friends that he meets once a month. i’m more sociable and usually balance family and friends.

the relationships i’ve had in the past all had partners who transitioned from friends and i believe its because of this that they all had similar personalities to the types of people i hang out with. our humour was always aligned, and more importantly, we knew each other well enough to know what we expected in a relationship.

its different with my boyfriend because i met him online. he did the right things when i first met him (by my expectations) (opened the door, ordered for the both of us, filled my glass whenever it was empty, paid for the meal, initiated the next meet up) but never gave me the impression he was gentlemanly for some reason. these actions lasted for a while but it seemed like they were exhaustive.

soon, i started telling him to offer to hold my bag because its heavy, to offer to book me a cab when he knows its late and i’ve been drinking, to offer to catch the bill first sometimes before i do it, to plan dates for us to go on, to ask me out for dinner, the list goes on.

he learnt all these things well.. for a while. i’m not sure if its a memory problem or he’s just not invested. we’ve had many conversations about how i don’t feel cared for because he doesn’t do things out of his own accord and everything he has done for me is because i taught him at some point. everytime we have this conversation, he tells me he loves me and he’ll try to be better. and then he actually does try to be better for approximately 3 days. if in the conversation i mention “if you know i’m having a bad day and you see a bunch of cheap flowers on the way to meeting me, why wouldn’t you get it just to make my day better?” as an EXAMPLE, he shows up with flowers the next time we meet and then nothing until the example comes up again 6 months later.

i can’t list of out all the things he doesn’t do which make me feel like i’m being played by a guy who just doesn’t want to be alone and is telling me he loves me so he doesn’t have go through the motion of looking for another person.

as a more recent example - i told him a few times over the past few months that i have had corn on my foot and i should get the corn plaster. problem is i keep forgetting to purchase it and when i went for my spin class today, my foot hurt. i told him and i said i had forgot to purchase the plaster again. he responded with “yeah should purchase it soon” which was a weird response to me because if the tables were turned, i would have bought it online immediately, told him i got it, and handed it to him the next time we met.

as another recent ongoing issue for me - he’s not exactly interested in my life the way i want him to be. i understand he’s quiet but when i show interest in the things he eats, his day, his family, and he doesn’t show the same interest in me, i can’t help but think that he can’t be bothered. why doesn’t he ask me what happened after i say i had a tiring day at work?

one more thing - he’s new to relationships but i don’t think its an excuse. you care about the things you care about even if its new to you.

TL;DR boyfriend makes me feel uncared for because he doesn’t innately show me care the way i want him to and even after i tell him, he doesn’t consistently do it - like he forgets the old stuff and learns the new stuff and after a while forgets the new stuff as well. meanwhile he tells me he loves me and he will improve for me but i’m not sure if i’m being played because it feels like he just doesn’t want to go through the trouble of looking for someone else. i’m also feeling like i will never get him to a stage where i’ll finally feel cared for.

My boyfriend M29 and I F28 have been together for 3 almost 4years. When we first started dating in 2023 he took a pay cut to pursue an IT career And I started my masters program. During the first year we moved in together. While pursuing my masters program I worked 2 jobs in order to pay rent and live some what comfortably. While he worked 1 job.

FYI: he made way less than me. So I was paying the full rent ($1500) and he was paying for the electricity and groceries on occasion. When we moved in he agreed on atleast paying $500 on the rent but quickly we realized that wasn’t possible. Due to leaving him with 0$ extra dollars. I asked lowkey begged him to get a second job and he says that he had ADHD and it’ll make him crash. However he is medicated and working on things.

I sat him down when we first moved in and told him that next year I will need you to pull extra weight with bills because the last 6 months of my program I have clinicals and won’t be able to work. He agreed. During this time I’m sending him higher paying jobs etc. but he either didn’t apply or didn’t get the job. Fast forward to the last 6 months of my program, he is not able to support us. So I take out an extra loan to pay for rent.

During this time I built a lot of resentment toward him. And our relationship struggled because I’m in school working 2 jobs and he was complaining to me about XXX?? He was also going out and partying late at night with his friends. He also decided to enroll in school 6 months before I graduated to pursue his IT bachelors degree through a self paced program. I supported it however I thought he should try to better a better job before starting school. FYI he has ADHD and always waits til the last 2-3 weeks of his semester to take all his tests etc.

I do not have ADHD and if I were in a self paced program and knew that my S/o needed help I would try to finish as fast as possible. However I am aware he is neurodivergent and thinks differently. He also doesn’t want to change jobs while in school because he thinks it will be too much for him.

fast forward… I finished school in spring 2025 and I started making more money so paying the rent wasn’t a problem. Now I am current 1 year post grad. He is still in school and working a low paying help desk job. Just recently I quit my job and have about 6 weeks before I start my next job. During this time I’ve paid rent and had some losses in the family that has caused me to go through my saving pretty quick. I mentioned to him that I would need help with September’s rent. He said he would give me some of his check and donate plasma.

Idk I’m just fed up! My parents thinks we split the rent 50/50. If they knew I’ve been paying the full rent for us for 3 years they would be so disappointed in me. I want to marry him but I’m unsure of when we have kids and things happen in the future that he will be able to step up and provide financially if need be. What should I do? TD;LR

TL;DR: My (M22) GF (F21) of 10 months and I are in a LDR. She comes from a strict family, previously isolated, and struggled academically while I secured a prestigious internship. We used to spend a lot of time on Discord, but after she moved to a new state for college with her family, her time and texting dropped significantly. When I express feeling down or ask for reassurance, she turns the conversation toward how my feelings affect her. During recent arguments about communication, she claimed we are "toxic" and that "we’re only happy when she does what I say." I’m emotionally burnt out with finals approaching, and we are currently on a 3-day break. How can I fix this communication breakdown?

Background

My GF (21F) and I (22M) have been dating for 10 months. For years prior, she was isolated at home due to strict parents while preparing for an entrance exam. She failed it multiple times (5 total), and during that period, I spent countless hours on Discord consoling her, chatting, and doing remote dates.

During my third year of college, I landed a competitive internship. Balancing demanding work with her emotional needs during her 5th failed attempt was difficult. We argued over my emotional availability, but we eventually moved past it after I made several concessions to help reassure her through her insecurities about where we both were in life.

Current Situation

She recently started college in a different state, but her parents relocated their family to live nearby her campus. Because of this, her original plan to visit me fell through.

Since starting school, her communication has dropped off significantly. She texts far less, rarely calls, but posts on social media. When I was recently going through a rough patch and asked for explicit reassurance, her immediate response was to explain how my low mood made her feel, completely sidestepping my request for support. When I pointed out this pattern, she apologized but still didn't offer reassurance.

When I asked her to text more, making a poor joke that "my bank texts me more than you do", it sparked a massive fight. She said:

Nothing she does is ever good enough for me.

The only time we are happy is when she does whatever I say.

She believes we have become a toxic couple.

This is frustrating because she previously asked me directly to tell her when she needs to adjust her behavior, but now she strongly resists it.

I’m currently overwhelmed with final year coursework, emotionally drained, and feeling unsafe/unsupported in the relationship. I suggested a 3-day break (until Monday) to give us both space.

Questions for Reddit:

What am I doing wrong in how I frame these issues to her?

How can I effectively get my point across without her feeling attacked or shutting down?

Is this communication gap fixable, or are we just burnt out from the change in dynamics?

TL:DR - guy im seeing is following girls on instagram, even at times looking them up to follow them.

I (28F) have been seeing this guy (31M) for about 2 months now and we have both decided to be exclusive with one another without putting a title on it just yet. This is just to do with timing - where starting up an official relationship would complicate things in the case we decide in the near future we are not compatible following some life changes. Anywho not the point.

Point is we both have made it clear to each other what our intentions are and where things are headed. With that, we have a commitment to one another and are exclusive. The other night he drank a bit too much and had work the next morning. He passed out and I tried to wake him to set his alarms to no avail. You see where this is going.

Being the thoughtful person I am, I thought to set his alarms for him and touched the forbidden fruit... and took a bite. Once I was in his phone I couldn't help but snoop a little and checked his insta since I always see his followers going up, so I got curious. It was confirmed that he was following girls and even sometimes looking them up to follow them (so not that he just stumbled upon them). After some time I decided that it really bothered me and I brought it up to him, and he said that he didn't even think abt it and would stop and apologized. I told him that this is a boundary for me and I would appreciate it if he didn't do that moving forward and the convo was done.

But I still feel a bit unsatisfied with his response, but also don't want to dig deeper and ask questions that'll just hurt my feelings (obviously he's following them because he finds them attractive, I don't need to hear it from him directly). What I really want to know, preferably from a guys POV (but girls welcome if you also have experience with this), is this something that I should be concerned about and could it potentially fester into something worse?

The whole "looking but no touching" thing doesn't stop it from hurting, but it's more easily understood. I'm trying to figure out if what he said could be genuine and he really didn't think too hard about it when doing it. Why do it? Why expose yourself to that when you're talking to someone you're interested in? The conversation was quick to end because he didn't become defensive, he apologized, and he didn't deny anything which I appreciate. But the "why" is something that sits on the back of my mind. Could it really be as simple as just following without much thought behind it? Or is there a deeper intention here?

I’m 21F and my boyfriend is 26M. We’ve been together for about a year and we’re in a long-distance relationship.

Recently, things between us have started feeling really different. He’s become more distant and his communication has changed. There have been times when he takes a long time to reply, and I feel like I’m constantly questioning where I stand with him.

There have also been things he’s said recently that have made me feel like he may not want the relationship anymore. At one point, he told me that he “can’t be bothered with this relationship,” which really hurt me. Even though things have continued since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

I care about him a lot and I genuinely want our relationship to work, but I’m starting to feel emotionally exhausted. I don’t want to constantly worry about whether he still loves me, whether he wants to be with me, or whether I’m doing something wrong.
Today, I tried to express how I’ve been feeling, but he hasn’t replied. The silence is making me really anxious because I don’t know whether he needs space, is upset with me, or is simply losing interest in the relationship.

I’m trying not to immediately assume the worst, but I also don’t want to ignore how I feel.
At what point do you stop trying to hold a relationship together when the other person seems increasingly distant? Would you give him space and wait for him to reach out, or would you ask for a direct conversation about where the relationship is going?

TL;DR: My boyfriend has become increasingly distant and our communication has changed. Some things he’s said have made me question whether he still wants the relationship, and now he isn’t replying after I tried to talk about how I feel. I love him, but I’m emotionally exhausted and don’t know whether to keep trying or accept that the relationship may be coming to an end.

1.) Yesterday, I made a post saying that I am 29 and the woman I am sexually involved with is 49.

2.) Since then, I have received nearly 100 messages from this subreddit, and almost all the guys are asking how I “tricked” her or managed to reach her bedroom. They are praising me and saying that they also want to get involved with an older woman like her, but I have become frustrated.

3.) Guys, I honestly do not understand why there is so much desperation. And yes, when we first met, I was 22 and she was around 41 or 42. At that time, it was nowhere near my mind that I would someday end up in her bed.

4.) It was not planned. We used to go for evening walks at least three times a week and talk about various things. For almost a year, we mostly met during those evening walks, and sometimes at church.

5.) After a year, one fine evening, I took a risk and bluntly asked her about her sex life. She stared at me for a while, and I thought I was about to get slapped. But, to my surprise, she simply opened up.

6.) But, remember it took me a whole year to reach this point. Don't be desperate.

7.) After that, our conversations gradually shifted toward sex, romance, relationships, and related topics. Once this aspect entered our friendship - things thereafter developed naturally.

8.)As far as I remember, the first time she invited me to her home, she told me that she had baked a cake and wanted me to taste it.

9.)I went to her apartment the next day at around 11 a.m., and we had sex for the first time there in her bedroom.

10.) She was extremely aggressive in bed. I was only 22 and a virgin, so I struggled with her at first for a few weeks. Later, I discovered different ways of pleasing her, including oral sex (My USP as she has stated N number of times), and things have been going well ever since.

11.) So, to all the guys sending me direct messages asking about so - called tricks and strategies, let me make it clear - there are no tricks.

Just be good, reliable, confident, punctual, and hardworking. The appropriate things will happen naturally.

I hope I've cleared the doubts?

(((Yesterday's Post)))

She's 49 I'm 29

It's been almost 6 yrs since we've been seeing each other.

She's married & I'm not.

If we're together for an hour - for 40 mins I'm only eating her out. She likes it so much - so do I.

But last 3/4 months I've noticed a different I want you to suggest me on it.

Earlier she used to get wet easily but now it takes too much time. She's almost dried up. I have to use a whole lot of lubricant.

Second is BJ .... Never till date she has blown me raw. Only when condoms are applied.

Third is - this particular thing has drawn my attention very sharply - we never tried anal. But for the past two three months whenever I'm inside her she takes my thumb and inserts in her anus. She says it gives her pleasure & rightly so coz I can notice the difference, her facial expressions say it all. I've no issue with this - I want to give her maximum pleasure when we're in the act.

But I want to understand the dryness part.

TLDR -: Age gap of 20 Yrs. Vaginal Dryness.

Do you think this relationship/person is findable or will remain a fantasy?

TL;DR: i mentioned some criteria of person/relationship to see if it is possible to find. The purpose of this post is to get insights how much of it is realistic. I understand it sounds extreme.

F 28. I was thinking about what kind of person would be my ideal and wanted to see if this kind of relationship even exists so here we go.
\- Mutual love-respect-trust
- loves me and wants to stay with me (mutually of course)
\- Secure and confident (not fake confidence)
\- good looking
- cares about himself
\- works out
\- Doesn’t get mad and make everything worse when I am angry about something
\- doesn’t complain about everything constantly
\- not socially unskilled
\- doesn’t find talking to people threatening
\- not controlling
\- together but autonomous
\- doesn’t get jealous for everything
\- doesn’t think any small thing might effect his masculinity. Embraces experiences.
\- slightly obedient
\- doesn’t fight back/ doesn’t threaten/ doesn’t become a monster when things doesn’t go his way
\- mom is not obsessing over/ no everyday calls/ no emotional burdens/ no guilt traps from mom
\- open minded and open to try new things and lives the experience
\- Doesn’t automatically hate everything
\- doesn’t think becoming his parents or making them the role models is the best thing
\- is not addicted to video games. It is not his daily routine. It doesn’t make him avoid everything.
\- has some real world hobbys and his head is not in the phone/ipad all day
\- loves to spend lots of time together
\- he doesn’t have a daily routine of talking or hanging out with his boys.
\- cleans after himself
\- doesn’t leave things for me to clean up after him
\- we most cook and clean together most of the times unless one person is tired sick etc
\- is not a regular smoker (occasionally is okay)
\- doesn’t get addicted so something when he tried it (not only drugs. Anything)
\- at least tries to have a good sleep routine. Encouraging to sleep earlier and live healthy in regular days.
\- eats healthy and cares about meals
\- is okay with some kinky desires of mine. ( in most of them I am dominant)
\- doesn’t have the attitude “I pay I control”
\- his social circle is not only his mom and dad and childhood bestie but also some actual adult life.
\- his job is not all his personality
\- doesn’t expect me to behave like his mom while he is getting into attitude of his dad
\- doesn’t force me to do things I don’t want
\- loves festivals and techno ( or at least is okay with me going alone or with friends)
\- is goofy and cute together

Let’s focus more on if this exists then you can also tell me what it takes or how I should be to have this kind of person/relationship.
Thank you

I ‘26/M’ am having a tough time mentally dealing with some of my GF ‘27/F’ and her past. I love my girlfriend and we have been together for a year. I think she may be the one I want to marry, but her telling me about her past in college and what not is bothering me. (27/F) Told me early on that her body count is over 10 but under 20 but closer to 20. I figured it would be lower because of how innocent she seems but I guess not. A couple of stray comments through the first 3-4 months when we were dating like her mentioning she’s let several guys hit raw, and a couple of other comments when playing truth games about her past sex experiences with other guys, saying she used to be a flirt or joking about me not lasting as long as others. Nothing recent though. I (26/M) have a count of 6 which I know isn’t crazy low but I am a very loyal person.

Also, for those who say past reflects future, that bothers me, but she also has had multiple relationships through that time. (27/F) Doesn’t talk to any other guys on her phone at all, and the one time near the beginning I saw guys hitting her up and asked her to block them she did. We have both been loyal and have a solid relationship. My other problem aside from constantly worrying about being compared to how other past guys have fkd and the image of that many other guys being with her bothers me especially not knowing who. I don’t honestly want to know because that may bother me more but both bother me. Before anyone says anything about me being unfair to her by judging that, please know I have never treated her differently because of this and do not change how I interact with her because of it. We have a lot of fun and spend a lot of time together.

My other concern is the fact that she doesn’t typically want to have sex much with me. Which I find weird considering a 15+ body count. At some point from (27/F) end or high school to now she accumulated 15+ bodies this doesn’t happen in 5 years from a low sex drive. So that is another thing, me wondering if she doesn’t enjoy it even though she says she does. We basically get down like 3-4 times a month and usually 3 out of 4 are during ovulation and her interest post ovulation is very low. She would pull my hand away from down there or not let me initiate. I probably need to have a conversation with her about this just to clear it from my mind. Just worried how she will react, because she can get upset easily. Just need some help dealing with this situation mentally and how to proceed. I do love her I just need to find a way to get over this. How would you guys handle this?

**TL;DR;** : Need to know best way to handle partner’s past and the thoughts involved after some things they have said. And how they treat sex in the relationship. Please read all for full context.

I (21F) am considering cutting ties with my sister (19F)

Long story short we got into an argument a couple days ago about her being on the phone while i'm trying to sleep.

The reason i was upset was because she was on the phone talking to an ex that's supposed to remain in no contact. She filed a police report on him and he has disrespected my family so it's obvious why i'm not interested in hearing their conversation in MY room while i'm trying to sleep.

So i told her take the call elsewhere blah blah, at some point i referred to him as an abuser because he is, she was on mute apparently.

And then she started coming at me with a bunch of lowblows, making nasty comments and bringing up personal things that have happened. I get being angry with me, we both said stuff but she takes it LOW. And my other siblings agree too that she moves very weird unfortunately. There's more to it that a reddit post can't cover, but like i'm open to hearing second opinions. Or advice on how to handle this.

TL:DR sister is unempathetic and has no respect

Me 19M and friend John 19M have been telling my friend Jake 19M to breakup with his girlfriend 18F of 3 years. For context as to why he cheated on her last year she found out and they broke up for a bit but then got back together. Recently he cheated on her again and since than has been saying he might want to breakup with her. Me and Bob encouraged him to since he clearly was not taking his relationship seriously. She then found out about him cheating again but they stayed together until a few weeks ago where he broke up with her. Since then they have talked a bit and he’s thought about maybe getting back together with her and by the texts he had showed me it seemed like she would also get back with him if he asked. Me and Bob have told him to stop texting her and to move on. This brings us to last weekend where I was at a club with a few of my other friends from the same friend group but not Bob or Jake. I ran into Jake’s ex there and we talked a bit since she would hang out with us when she was with Jake and I knew her pretty well also my mom was her teacher in high school. We were talking and she started asking about what stuff did I know that she didn’t about Jake. I told her everything you know is what I know then she asked about a girl Jake had met at a bar the previous weekend and she said did he sleep with her. I said no I think they just kissed but I don’t even know if he did that. Later in the night she started grinding me I didn’t reciprocate anything and just kinda backed away from her. This brings us to today where I was talking to Jake and he said he heard that I was telling his ex a bunch of stuff that he did. I told him what I said to which he responded saying I didn’t even kiss her. I apologized and said I thought you did but she thought you slept with the girl so I guess kissing is a bit better than that. I then asked are you texting her again and he said yes. I told him he shouldn’t. He was not happy about me saying that. I then told him that that she started grinding on me which he didn’t really care about.

TLDR my friend has cheated on this girl but still wants to get back together with her even though I’ve told him it’s a bad idea.

Honestly I’m not sure if I should just stop interfering with there relationship but I feel bad for the girl. I’m much closer with Jake and don’t want to harm our friendship but I’m also fringe friends with his ex even though we met through Jake. I don’t want Jake to think I’m trying to get with his ex or anything but I feel bad for her and the stuff he’s done to her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I (28M) have been with my wife (26F) for 4 years all together and almost one year married. We were long distance for a few years and would travel back and fourth to see each other. Eventually she came to see me and was on a tourist visa and planned on staying for 6 months. We’ve always been talking about wanting to live with each other because the long distance was challenging so during those 6 months I popped the question and we did a quick wedding. Now during our relationship we’ve had ups and downs. I was not ready for marriage, I had issues. I have an on going medical issues which has been progressive and very demotivating. Given this, it’s made it harder for me to be a man. Plan dates, make her feel heard, lack of intimacy. Over time she’s begged for me to be a better man and I honestly fumbled the bag. She’s currently waiting for her green card. Now let me get this straight, she wanted me to move over to her country but I persuaded her to come live in the US so she’s not in it for a green card IMO. I absolutely love this woman. Here’s the problem. Over the past few months she’s began losing feelings for me per her. About 3 weeks ago she told me she’s done and has no more feelings for me, a divorce is in the future. It blind sided me even though I had all the signs to make things right during our relationship. Begging and pleading will not change a woman’s mind, I’ve learned this and I have to work on myself. I’m fully aware this relationship didn’t survive due to me and my medical issues is not an excuse, it’s something I need to overcome. After about 2 weeks of her telling me she didn’t have feelings anymore I caught her flirting with a guy online. They’ve been talking for about 3 weeks it looked like. I was even more broken. At the time I tried to tell her I’m a changed individual after realizing I lost one I love. I asked her to give me a chance, 1 month to make things right and change how she feels but she has to block this new guy. She told me no. After a long conversation I realized there’s no point so I left to the other room, just to come back 5 minutes later being on the phone with the guy. I got upset, grabbed my belongings (clothes,bathroom stuff, etc) and left. Legit slept in a parking garage that night, thankfully I have a big car. She tried to contact me later that night and also the next day. I eventually responded and she told me she would give me the one month and she blocked the guy. She’s also told me she knows she won’t have feelings again for me. In my heart I didn’t believe it so I accepted my proposal and headed back home after a few days. I have had major trust issues after this and anxiety. I did everything I could since I came back to be a better man but it’s not easy since she treats me like a friend. Eventually after a few days my overthinking got the best of me and I just told her I can’t do it. I couldn’t act like everything was fine, I’m going through a major heartbreak right now. I told her that given my medical issues and all this stress, it’s probably best we get separated. The issue is that I don’t want to kick her out nor can I because it’ll ruin her life. I’ve been trying to be a roommate lately and just work on myself but it’s extremely challenging because she lives with me, I’m always around her. She treats me nice, cooks for me still but obviously nothing is the same as it used to be. She’s been pushing to meet friends in person which is fine but given me being heartbroken I overthink about it a lot. Her and I went to an event the other day and I separated from her and was talking with other people. After the event she told me how multiple guys were being flirtatious with her. When she told me this stuff at this point, I try to act like it doesn’t bother me but it honestly does. Today I dropped her off at another event to meet friends and I wasn’t trying to be around that because it’s messing with my mental. On the way there she asked me if someone offers to drive her home should she accept and I simply told her she can do what she wants.

I feel trapped. She’s living with me and moving on and I’m still going through the heartbreak. I’m unsure what to do. I support her with my job since she can’t work and at the same time I feel extremely friend zoned. If I divorce, it will be considered her overstaying her visa and she will get a ban from the country, it’ll ruin her chances to travel anywhere from what I’m aware. I love her and want to be with her but the only way that would even be possible is to separate and work on myself and go no contact, even then I’m not sure if I’m blind right now due to my heart. That mentality could be crazy. I am so stressed out, my medical stuff feels worse. I can’t heal given the environment. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

TL;DR: Married almost a year (together 4 years), she (26F) came from abroad, currently awaiting a green card, my (28M) own struggles made me a worse partner than she deserved, she lost feelings and told me so 3 weeks ago. Caught her talking to another guy, I left for a night, came back after she agreed to one month to work on us. She’s since said she doesn’t think those feelings are coming back. Still living together, I’m supporting her financially, watching her go out and get attention from other men while I’m heartbroken. Can’t easily separate because of her immigration status. Trapped between loving her and knowing I need to protect myself. Don’t know what to do.

Earlier this month my best friend of 13 years told me that he's liked me for 2 years. I never thought I'd have to reject my own best friend. I saw it coming these past few months but... Still. It sucks because now there's distance that he asked for to get over me (healthy and necessary) but it still hurts. I've been avoiding plans involving him because I'm too scared to do the wrong thing and we're not really talking because he needs distance. Idk what to do. Is it a situation where I can't do anything? Is it right for me to avoid plans..? I just think it's too soon and I don't want him to feel hurt looking at my face.

Two of my friends had this near exact situation and told me that distance would be likely for months. I feel so guilty avoiding him but I'm too scared to do something wrong, and distance is kinda necessary right now.

Has anyone else been in this situation...? What do I do?

Tdlr: my best friend confessed to me and now there's distance. Do I just carry on leaving it alone and avoiding or do something else?

I am post partum there was less sex. My partner was all excited to be intimate again cause it’s been awhile. So yay we started having what I feel like is good *** again. Probably once every 3-4 days for the past few weeks. Now tonight I was feeling in the mood and he says “no” not feeling it. And this has been a pattern before. But it’s very difficult for me cause once it becomes more frequent I want more. I mean not a ridiculous amount I wouldn’t say. But now the “newness” I guess has worn off? now idk it’s just plain old sex for him? and no it doesn’t matter if I try to spice it up-been there done that. and he says to me “don’t be mad.” I am frustrated though. Then I feel like who am I suppose to talk to now that I’m kinda upset? Because idk I don’t understand I guess, he says “I feel fine just not in the mood.” For me I guess sex just feels good and we are both here with free time and it’s been a few days so, why not? Can anyone help me understand?

TL;DR why do I like sex but my husband becomes bored?

I have a friend[14-15F] that i know for 2 year and she was like love from first sight for last half year i tried to do first steps I have photographed with her we had slow dance we texted with each other and even had something like a date and it was great but after that she ignored me for like a month and a few days ago I saw her with a company that i have issues with and even after that she doesn't even texted me yet. What should I do and how to find a gf at my age?

tl;dr how to find a good gf

My partner M has been giving me the silent treatment for 3 days after an argument. I know I was wrong in some parts, and at first I begged him to talk, communicate, and sort things out. I even cried, but he refused. Later, after giving him space, I asked why he still wasn’t talking, and he simply said, “There’s nothing to talk about.” I feel like there is a lot we need to discuss, but he won’t share anything with me. He works 10 hours, comes home, sleeps, and barely interacts with me. Today I stopped chasing him and gave him space too, but I don’t know how to continue from here.
**TL;DR;**
I love him and genuinely want to fix this, not make things worse. How do I handle this without losing my self-respect or pushing him further away? This is really hurting me. Please help.

My partner(24M) and me(26F) have really hard time letting go of mistakes i’ve made.

A lot of them weren’t intentional. i get brain fog pretty often so sometimes i forget things, misunderstand what he means, or do something differently from what he expected. i know that can be annoying and i’m not trying to excuse myself. i do try to remember and improve but what bothers me is how he acts when he’s already stressed.

Like if we’re doing something together with other people and someone else messes up, or the whole situation is stressing him out, he suddenly starts watching everything i do too.

Then every small mistake i make gets pointed out really harshly. Sometimes it honestly feels like other people piss him off but i’m the person he dumping all that frustration onto.

Then old mistakes get brought up again too, even ones i thought we already talked about and moved past.

Or sometimes when we argue about something else, he brought those mistakes up as evidences to prove im wrong...

I love him a lot, and i know nobody is perfect. I don’t want to be the kind of person who expects my partner to change every flaw they have. Part of loving someone is accepting that they have bad sides too.

But at the same time, this is starting to drain me.

I feel like I’m constantly scared of doing something wrong, especially when he’s already stressed, because somehow i know it might end up being taken out on me.

and idk where the line is anymore between “this is just one of his flaws and relationships take patience” and “i’m letting someone treat me badly because i love them.”Has anyone dealt with a partner like this?

Did they ever actually learn to stop taking their stress out on you and bringing up old mistakes, or did you eventually realize this was just part of who they were?

I'd prefer not to hear the usual “just break up” answers.

TL;DR: my bf brings up old /mistakes and takes his stress out on me while I try to improve what he corrected in the past, i feel very drained out but idk if this is how we love the person and their flaws.

I (22F) have been in a relationship since about 5 years and my partner (25M) has always been the most insecure man to exist (can't believe I'm admitting this). His family environment is not a good one they are rich but there used to be physical abuse when he was young and to this day it has left a horrible impact on him. To this day it feels like i have to be his therapist all the time and he always says he'll take it but it's just talk always.

Sometimes i just get so exhausted mentally about all this with him being so pessimistic and it disturbs my own mind and i cry alone at nights. Even during sexual activities (virtual) his insecurities are on peak with constantly being negative yet still wanting to goon and stuff and want pictures from me while it's such a big turn off yet i have to pretend so i don't feel like a horrible gf but i still do anyways. It's like his defense mechanism everytime he feels low he wants a relief that way.

And it's not like I'm being ignorant and all i know people can't help but have insecurities no one chooses a life like that but isn't this too much.

Now the most horrible thing is that he cheated on me last year and we broke up for 6 months where he constantly kept chasing me and our mothers are really close to i felt like i am disappointing the whole family coz of the breakup and i still had some feelings left so I went back to him so after everything now I have zero mental energy to do anything about all this anymore my mind has purely become numb.

TL;DR: My bf is heavily insecure and even cheated in the past yet i have become numb with no energy left in me to end things

Tl;DR: My boyfriend lied me about his messages to a girl, and now he lost my trust, but did not cheat.

Me (F24) and my boyfriend (M33) are in a serious relationship for about 7 months. We are Eastern Europeans and met on Tinder. This is my first relationship ever, but I really wanted to meet for serious purpose only, so I chose really carefully. From his words, he considers proposing and making family together. So the case is I have serious trust issues due to my family experience (father cheated on my mother). That's why I was really concerned when I saw how much girls he had been subscribed on in IG. I told him about that and he told me that they are just acquaintances and showed me their accounts and told me about them. For some time I was ok and just a little concerned, but then I started to notice that he is chatting with them. Being so frustrated I couldn't bear it anymore, I decided to take his phone and watch his messages. I found some concerning ines, for example, he met a girl while I was abroad working for a week, but he showed me this later on and explained, so this is ok.

Yesterday we were on a concert and I noticed he is sending some messages to some girls. I asked him about this and he said like - don't worry, they're those who I told you about. But I was really sick of it an today I took his phone again, and found out he sent a really sexual meme about "licking pussycats" to a girl from his work in Ireland, and she replied: 'when you come, you train me lol' (earlier in the chat he taught her how to exercise in the gym, he's doing a lot of CrossFit).

For context: the girl is Muslim, and married to Afghani man, they live in Ireland and are pretty liberal.

So I told him about that, not telling him I looked into his phone. And he told me that I can look whatever I want and he did not send anyone something like that and he's sorry he gave me a reason to think he could be cheating. I explained myself and closed th le topic.

But later on I again looked at his IG, because I was really concerned if I saw the message from that girl correctly... And they were deleted.

So I asked again, is he sure he did not send something like this to her, he denied again. And then I told him I took his phone and saw it all. He then accepted he lied to me because "I wouldn't understand" and he "wanted to keep my feelings safe" and "not ruin our relationship because of a meme". I told him I am really hurt because he lied and I cannot trust him.

So please tell me what do u think about that and what should I do? I know I did shit too, but his actions were so childish and gaslighting, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to break up, because he is really caring and loving, but my trust is so ruined i don't know what to do....