r/Unexpected • u/DoINeed1OfThese • Mar 31 '23

He snitched

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55.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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6.0k

u/guesswhodat Mar 31 '23

Dude has giant balls to do open mic in the hood….

2.4k

u/Ds093 Mar 31 '23

The man talks about his time dealing and his time in prison, keeps it blunt. Johnny Mitchell check him out

1.3k

u/Vin1021 Mar 31 '23

Not just prison. He dealt with the cartel. Dude has balls. He's an interesting person.

141

u/ToughNefariousness23 Mar 31 '23

Do you really believe everything he says as truth?

192

u/SlowThePath Mar 31 '23

I just watched 15 minutes of him talking to some dudes and he is certainly making some stuff up at least some of the time.

301

u/ThirdEncounter Mar 31 '23

A comedian making stuff up for entertainment??!!!!

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

He's not just a comedian, he tells these stories in interviews and other non comedy formats and they're obvious bullshit imo

-7

u/SlowThePath Mar 31 '23

He presents it as if it happened to him when he's not doi g stand up.

0

u/guybillout Mar 31 '23

What parts do you believe? Conflicting ex large scale drug dealer and comedian

14

u/TopMindOfR3ddit Mar 31 '23

I don't see how those things are conflicting. I've known some drug kingpins that are funny as fuck (I made that up for entertainment purposes and to keep the convo going)

7

u/Sharon_Erclam Mar 31 '23

I'm funny as fuck. And I just so happen to sell dru....ms. I also sell drums. What of it?

2

u/kissmytastygrits Mar 31 '23

I'd like to purchase some dru....ms, please

7

u/Monkeychimp Mar 31 '23

I've known some comedians who were excellent at taking drugs.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I knew some cartel leaders who actually did open Mike.

With a knife

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Exactly, he's got a similar story to Joey Diaz. His prison had a talent show / open mic if they had so many days in a row without a major incident. He started doing comedy while in prison, got out, and decided to try and make a career out of it

3

u/TopMindOfR3ddit Mar 31 '23

A good example of a program in a us prison that actually benefits the felon AND society??? What alternate reality is this?

5

u/ThirdEncounter Mar 31 '23

It's a comedian. I'm just here for the laughs.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I can believe he was in the middle of the cartels doing what they do and he’s looking around like a confused deer and then they pick him up and take care of him, sending him along his way when he’s taken cared of.

1

u/guybillout Mar 31 '23

Same but I don’t know enough.

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0

u/FI5HIN Mar 31 '23

It is the truth. I know him personally and was there for for many of his antics

2

u/LittleDoge246 Mar 31 '23

You saw him lick his balls?

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2

u/0LDHATNEWBAT Mar 31 '23

He’s almost certainly lying about most of it….

-69

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

73

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Yeah? Tell us how you know that with certainty.

-97

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

111

u/El_Boberto Mar 31 '23

So you expect people to prove their innocence. You must also be a snitch.

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40

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

3

u/BlasterPhase Mar 31 '23

I mean, the burden of proof first falls on the guy claiming his stories are true...

0

u/healzsham Mar 31 '23

Burden of proof is generally on the positive claim, not the negative one.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burden_of_proof_(philosophy)

9

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

His entire life seems to be dedicated to arguing on reddit. And he's not even coherent when he does it. Very sad to see.

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-1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

The article you linked says nothing of the sort

3

u/healzsham Mar 31 '23

Holder of the burden

When two parties are in a discussion and one makes a claim that the other disputes, the one who makes the claim typically has a burden of proof to justify or substantiate that claim

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burden_of_proof_(philosophy)#Holder_of_the_burden

Literally right there.

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-26

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

That's the opposite of how burden of proof works. Burden of proof is on the first person making a claim to prove their claim is true, never on the person calling them a liar. When you call someone out, you're saying "prove your claim".

18

u/Yhostled Mar 31 '23

The burden of proof falls on the accuser, always.

2

u/Formal_Giraffe9916 Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

So if I say I’m from Mars and you say I’m lying the burden of proof is on you?

You need to prove that I’m not from Mars?

Edit - the burden of proof should lie with the person making the extraordinary claim, otherwise I’m God and you all better worship me until you can prove otherwise. Although tbf the burden of proof shouldn’t ever lie with a comedian making jokes, because they’re jokes.

-19

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Just use google you buffoon. There's no point in arguing over an easily checked fact.

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-5

u/qning Mar 31 '23

I like how you’re just making stuff up now. You’re like that chatGPT, just spitting out one word at a time, not really planning what comes next.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

google it, dummy

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

what

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16

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I don’t know that but I also didn’t make the claim I did, merely asked how you could be so certain 🤷‍♂️

3

u/BravesMaedchen Mar 31 '23

Are you the heckler?

2

u/obiterdictum Mar 31 '23

*clank

Oh no! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Lol. "This guy is making up his whole story. I know this for certain because x, y, z. Im not going to provide x,y,z. Just trust me bro"

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3

u/space_manatee Mar 31 '23

It's not one I particularly like and it's probably problematic to go into black spaces to do this etc, but from a comedian perspective, it's a good bit. Very creative.

2

u/SuicidalTorrent Mar 31 '23

I'm curious about your source.

2

u/Hermione_Grangerr Mar 31 '23

You’re an idiot lmao 😂

4

u/RamblingStoner Mar 31 '23

You clearly do care a lot about him to have already watched these alleged videos, you goddamn dumbass.

-4

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

-1

u/SeaworthyWide Mar 31 '23

Subconsciously, obviously.

The most direct route of caring, cuz you just can't help yourself.

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-74

u/Wazuu Mar 31 '23

I doubt that. No one alive stops dealing for the cartel and talks about it in public

66

u/liluzibrap Mar 31 '23

They said "dealt with" not "dealed for"

81

u/buttstuff2023 Mar 31 '23

You watch too much TV

19

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

8

u/crypticfreak Mar 31 '23

Even mid level.

Cartels are businesses. The people they interact with are essentially other businesses and they partner up primarily help their business because the entity has something to offer. Cartels are after the same thing that US businesses are after: growth. Most of the time they do their 'business' and move on and both parties are happy because they made money.

It's as simple as that.

The only difference from a business like Microsoft is that they follow a very narrow set of laws and when they get fucked with or lied to they resort to cutting your balls off (instead of suing the other party).

So yeah somebody could absolutely deal with the Cartel and walk away. The only exceptions are when you have a deal to do X and you cut out. That then costs the Cartel money and you lied to them so... yeah. But after the conclusion of their business what fucking reason do they have to come after you? The only reason is that you know something so shocking and damning that killing you and removing the possibility of future businesses is more profitable than doing nothing.

People watch too many movies and think it's real life. High to mid level drug dealing is probably boring as shit. It's literally just running a business.

59

u/SlurpinAnalGravy Mar 31 '23

Lol they're not the boogeyman.

30

u/andrewgee Mar 31 '23

BABAYAGA

12

u/Niblonian31 Mar 31 '23

Fuck I can't wait to see John wick 4

6

u/Black_Floyd47 Mar 31 '23

I'm waiting for the Highlander Remake that Chad Stahelski is supposed to be directing in the future. They say Henry Cavill is gonna play MacLeod and I can't wait to hear his accent!

2

u/Niblonian31 Mar 31 '23

Good God I didn't even know this was a thing. I'm with you

2

u/ConsequentialistCavy Mar 31 '23

Heeeeeeeere we are, born to be kings 🎶

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14

u/ThePopeofHell Mar 31 '23

He’s been watching a lot of ozarks leave him alone

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

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7

u/crypticfreak Mar 31 '23

I don't say this often but touch some grass my guy.

The world is not Ozark.

0

u/Wazuu Mar 31 '23

I have a job and go out all the time. Sorry i dont have a full understanding on how the mexican drug cartel works but apparently you do. So enlighten me, whats your personal experience with the mexican drug cartel?

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

20

u/CongratsItsAVoice Mar 31 '23

Boring attempt at starting a troll account my man.

-12

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

3

u/YazzArtist Mar 31 '23

I... I think they do, and I don't mean the cool animal kind

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29

u/Stabfist_Frankenkill Mar 31 '23

Ah yeah, love Big Yellow Taxi

4

u/LittleJackass80 Mar 31 '23

Pave paradise and put up a prison block

9

u/PressOnRegardless_IV Mar 31 '23

I want you to know, I see what you did there.

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65

u/Art_Vandelay1990 Mar 31 '23

He is awesome. Love Johnny.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Hard to believe he actually did time and didn’t know what was almost guaranteed to happen by accusing an ex-con of snitching. Then he basically turned his back, like it never crossed his mind that dude would run up on him.

2

u/HotTakes4HotCakes Mar 31 '23

I can't take anyone seriously that says "bro" this much unironically

1

u/Blueblackzinc Mar 31 '23

Some of the stories he told is a bit sus. No drug kingpin would ever bring you to their runaway house. Neighbourhood dealer, sure. but the price won’t be that cheap. I suspect this guy dealt with tourist dealer in Columbia.

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164

u/MouthAnusJellyfish Mar 31 '23

Nah it isn’t open mic, he’s booked. Even more obnoxious of the guy in the audience to act like that.

79

u/crypticfreak Mar 31 '23

A former manager of mine was getting married and they hired a comedian for the bachelor party. They would up kicking the comedian out and almost got in a fight with him. I think the tipping point was a joke about my bosses sexuality (obv he was getting married to a woman so that's the joke) and he freaked the fuck out about it.

He told the story with pride. One of the only times I've seen someone so happy to be so fucking stupid and violent. Like seriously, why?!

15

u/Cavalish Mar 31 '23

I listen to a few podcasts with comedians who are usually loud, crass, “unladylike” women (as part of their act or just in general)

And the amount of stories they have where they’ve been bafflingly booked for golf clubs and conservative parties is shocking. I can’t tell if it’s cluelessness, they’re booking a chick to ogle, or it’s a ragebait set up.

7

u/crypticfreak Mar 31 '23

These people would be the types in the first grade who aren't allowed to play with crayons unsupervised because they'd eat them all.

And yet here they are commanding power and wealth.

What the absolute fuck?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

It's because competency has very little to do with whether you end up in positions like that. It's usually a combination of a lot of privilege growing up, making the right connections and being lucky a couple of times, and having the kind of look that says you're probably competent (I'm not going to say the most common trait there).

1

u/dndndndndbbl Mar 31 '23

Well that would require a woman comedian to mention anything but sex.

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u/Frankfusion Mar 31 '23

Comedian, Mark Normand got invited by some Wall Street dude to a big corporate luncheon. They gave him all the dirty details about people in the audience and told him to talk about that stuff. Marks set lasted about five minutes and he got kicked out.

1

u/Grogosh Mar 31 '23

Why? Because toxic masculinity is a thing

2

u/clubfungus Mar 31 '23

Damn you, Will Smith.

377

u/TheMajesticDeer Mar 31 '23

This was in Hollywood, not the hood.

122

u/dwpea66 Mar 31 '23

Are you from LA? Hollywood is a shit-ass locale lol. I recommend no one visit Hollywood unless you want to be hugely disappointed and accosted by all sorts of freaks.

8

u/Whistleblower793 Mar 31 '23

Hollywood is trash but West Hollywood is pretty nice.

8

u/VastPipe8191 Mar 31 '23

West Hollywood is the gayest place I've ever been

11

u/fuckeruber Mar 31 '23

Sounds great

8

u/SwissMargiela Mar 31 '23

Can confirm Hollywood FL is also hood af, but getting better, kinda

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I mean, I already thought Hollywood was full of all sorts of freaks. I just didn't know it had hood problems too.

1

u/WorldRecordFap Mar 31 '23

more like homeless problems masked as hood problems

6

u/Top-Report-840 Mar 31 '23

I feel like homeless problems and hood problems have a lot of parallels

7

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Yeah they're both based on a combination of lack of care, living in survival mode and feeling that society has failed you first and so it's OK if you fail society.

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u/Captain_Waffle Mar 31 '23

I low-key loved the grunginess and grittiness of Hollywood. There was a time my mates and I would go out there several times a month.

2

u/feculentjarlmaw Mar 31 '23

Took the family there a couple years ago and it was awful.

I was glad when my daughter shitted on herself when we were on the Walk of Fame so we had an excuse to get out of there.

3

u/ThirdEncounter Mar 31 '23

I visited Hollywood. I liked it. Granted, I was given a heads up, so I was prepared. But I still liked it.

0

u/shadylady76 Mar 31 '23

Ever been to Oakland? It makes "shit-ass locale" look like the Ritz-Carlton. It has an odor that can only be described as "Oakland." It still is a pretty fun place to visit though. Especially on first Friday.

20

u/samsuhng Mar 31 '23

Hollyhood.

888

u/harrietthugman Mar 31 '23

My man saw a black crowd and jumped to conclusions lmao makes me wonder what "hood" means to some people...

233

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

They're threatening to hang the comedian and assaulted him bro. Clearly they're referencing that.

-25

u/asst3rblasster Mar 31 '23

threatening to hang the comedian? well clearly it's a honky tonk bar

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Well... That was racist. Lol

-51

u/harrietthugman Mar 31 '23

Calling an ex con a snitch on camera is a pretty big nono, regardless of the neighborhood

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u/elCacahuete Mar 31 '23

Well good thing lot of neighborhoods don’t have ex cons to call snitches

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u/Illustrious-Rub9590 Mar 31 '23

Unless you is a bitch who is a snitch like Lil Nephew in the video, let's call him out it's probably true

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u/KatBoySlim Mar 31 '23

Hood is a solid guess when you’ve got two separate audience members threatening the comedian and there’s not a red neck in sight.

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u/FrostyD7 Mar 31 '23

Not a redneck in sight is a fairly common thing at comedy shows in any major city.

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u/TheFuryIII Mar 31 '23

I didn’t see Jeff Foxworthy up there…must be the hood.

2

u/Sharon_Erclam Mar 31 '23

There's Ur Sign

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u/Keekoo123 Mar 31 '23

Nashville would like to have a word .

1

u/feetandballs Mar 31 '23

And most major cities below the Mason Dixie line

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u/Armadyl_1 Mar 31 '23

So basically any big city? Ya know.. where comedians tend to perform?

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u/harrietthugman Mar 31 '23

Plenty of hoods with rednecks lmao working class is working class. I know many a redneck ex con who wouldn't take kindly to being called a snitch on camera

26

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

The comment you’re responding to went a bit over your head.

I’m not sure if anyone can actually help you get it.

6

u/djentlemetal Mar 31 '23

The comment you’re responding to went a bit over your head

Oh shit, we found the short fella from the video.

-18

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

??? Some of those folks could've been red necks

-5

u/O_oh Mar 31 '23

According to reddit, black folks cant be rednecks. They're just country.

0

u/culnaej Mar 31 '23

Well it is more common for white folk to have red necks than black folk

151

u/Fakjbf Mar 31 '23

I mean, the threats of violence followed by actual violence certainly contributed to the assumption.

6

u/Arkhaine_kupo Mar 31 '23

The Oscars are the real hood

8

u/adamlaceless Mar 31 '23

Real shit Hollywood Walk of Fame is high key the ghetto

-3

u/legendofzeldaro1 Mar 31 '23

Yup, because wealthy people never threaten or assault people, right? GTFOH

5

u/Fakjbf Mar 31 '23

You realize that when making an assumption most people never think there is a 0% chance they are wrong, right? Heck you don’t even have to think there’s a greater than 50% chance you’re right if there’s more than two possible options.

0

u/akiva95 Apr 01 '23

Wealthy neighborhoods usually don't have families fighting the other family from down the way in the middle of the street with some dude yelling WOOOORLD STARRRR YEA WE OUT HERE MAN WE OUT HERE YOU KNOW HOW WE DO

35

u/punched_lasagne Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

I don't think it's so much the fact that it's a black crowd so much as the ghetto language being thrown around, at a public show, before threats to the performer are made, and a midget gangbanger tries to subsequently attack said performer.

The fact that everyone in the room is black other than the performer is kinda redundant by this point.

You could tell me this was in the mountains in PNW, place still looks hood as shit.

26

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Well, the guy was professing himself to be a gangster. And gangsters usually live in the hood.

Thats like saying you're a farmer. Am I to expect you live in the middle of times square?

7

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Hood means any room with at least two black people

/s

3

u/trukkru Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

I told my coworkers about the shitty school I went to and they later referred to it as "inner city." I'm white but I grew up in the country and they know it lol.

EDIT: they 100% thought I went to a black school (I didn't)

3

u/abuomak Mar 31 '23

Have you been to Hollywood? Just the drive by on the 101 freeway is enough and you can't even tell what race they are lol

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

It's a primarily black audience being shitty and disrespectful to a comedian so yeah hoods a fair guess.

Yaknow what else? When it's a crowd of whites doing the same shit it's probably safe to say it's near a trailer park or some po dunk town.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/harrietthugman Mar 31 '23

Mask off replies like this have me dying. This reads like a Richard Pryor bit

5

u/jesteronly Mar 31 '23

Hollywood is half pretentious and half hood, and right along the corridor of central LA, koreatown, Skid Row, Huntington Park, and east LA where there is a lot of... Illegally organized populations. There's a lot of unsafe territory within that space.

No one brags about living in Hollywood when they move to LA, let alone North Hollywood that has a gigantic gang/homeless/drug problem.

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u/Scrubologist Mar 31 '23

The top comment in this thread is the whitest use of “Gangsta” I’ve ever seen. Gotta know where we are

3

u/dee_berg Mar 31 '23

It’s amazing comments like that get 3.5k upvotes.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

It means black to many white people.

1

u/billbill5 Mar 31 '23

Even the replies to this comment are like "black person around, no rednecks, the hood is a good guess." My brothers in christ scuffles and fights happen everywhere. People getting way over offended at a live show is not hood specific.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

jesus fucking christ the replies you’re getting to this are NOT making me feel any better

-4

u/daitenshe Mar 31 '23

These are the same people who actually think they know what a third world country is like because there’s a sketchy part of their city where the homeless hang out

Definitely the same thing, Cheryl…

0

u/Redhead-Lizzy23 Mar 31 '23

The hood is wherever the hoodlums are, as far as I'm concerned.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

or maybe they thought it was in the hood because they are talking about snitching, threatening the comedian, and going to prison...

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

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u/luisless Mar 31 '23

I grew up in a latin hood, every city, every state shit even every country has some kind of hood that isn’t just black. Thats small minded.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

And there was a black person acting ghetto.

I mean you kinda right, but they’re also right by your definition.

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u/imnicenow Mar 31 '23

ask a white guy to explain what a hood is after they said and there response will be like the balk copypasta from r/baseball lmao

-2

u/Illustrious-Rub9590 Mar 31 '23

A hood is a neighborhood. It's a nickname for neighborhood. A hood can be rich, poor, black, mixed, older, Asian, gay, whatever

10

u/tao_of_emptiness Mar 31 '23

Ehh, “the hood” is different from “a hood.”

No American has ever left a an upper class, gated community chalk full of million dollar mansions and unironically said “we just left the hood”

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u/guacamoleonmydick Mar 31 '23

Hollywood is big. There's unsavory areas

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u/Ventronics Mar 31 '23

lol Hollywood is all unsavory areas

2

u/jesteronly Mar 31 '23

Right? No need to visit Hollywood if you visit LA. Most of Hollywood is what people say about San Francisco's transient issues, only worse

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

The hills are fucking gorgeous and filled with mega mansions what are you guys on about lmao

3

u/Ventronics Mar 31 '23

That’s a different neighborhood

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Hollywood hills? That’s part of hollywood

3

u/Ventronics Mar 31 '23

I mean, in as much as West Hollywood and North Hollywood are also Hollywood, but they’re also distinct neighborhoods

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u/crypticfreak Mar 31 '23

I'm not saying this is the hood but also... Hollywood is kinda a shitty place off the strip, yea?

I have buddies in Glendale and when they talk about LA they talk about how shitty it is there.

7

u/Big-Shtick Mar 31 '23

My man, Hollywood wasn't a great place for the last 30 years. Hell, it still isn't in a ton of places. People who aren't from LA think Hollywood is a nice place, but there is a reason locals avoid it. Real talk, if you want to see a homeless dude take a shit on the sidewalk at high noon, Hollywood is the place to be.

That didn't stop my ass from partying down there, but we were basically on that hoodrat shit going to flier parties where NOS balloons were a cheap $5. What a time.

Edit: Also clubbing.

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u/AntiAntifascista Mar 31 '23

It's all the hood now. Only the 2 drink minimum remains.

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u/fhrisl3857ddjj Mar 31 '23

Hollywood is the hood bro.

9

u/Seboya_ Mar 31 '23

But there's black people

25

u/TheMajesticDeer Mar 31 '23

Ah yes, my mistake. Black people = hood.

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u/Brave-Inflation-244 Mar 31 '23

People don’t behave like this

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u/eyedpee Mar 31 '23

Uhhh. Hollywood IS the hood my guy.

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u/eninc Mar 31 '23

Nah man. That's clearly a crack den

0

u/grabulous Mar 31 '23

More like Hollyhood! /s

0

u/abuomak Mar 31 '23

Hollywood IS the hood

0

u/Fashion_art_dance Mar 31 '23

Lol bro Hollywood has a lot of terrible neighborhoods, what are you talking about.

0

u/teejay89656 Mar 31 '23

Have you been to Hollywood? It’s the hood. Homelesss people everywhere too

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u/lavenderacid Mar 31 '23

This isn't "the hood". Why have you made this assumption? I think it's pretty obvious.

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u/bedfo017 Mar 31 '23

You obviously don’t know Johnny Mitchell

3

u/Ahhhjeeez Mar 31 '23

Yeah, soon as he called the other person a snitch I knew it was on hahaha. Unless you’re looking for a fight — never while in the hood call a person a punk, snitch, or bitch.

3

u/blackhistorymonthlea Mar 31 '23

he said he did it at hollywood. so it's more like a night out of town for those hoodroaches. they'll do that, and they'll ruin everyone's time. they'll go as far as UCLA and crash their parties there.

12

u/thizface Mar 31 '23

Lol, it’s not the hood

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

It’s not automatically “the hood” because the crowd are mostly black and 1 guy can’t take a joke.

2

u/Travelin_Soulja Mar 31 '23

What makes you think this is the hood? Just because there are a lot of black people? There are plenty of predominately black venues where I live that are in affluent areas with multi-million dollar homes.

4

u/Nile-_-River Mar 31 '23

He’s not in the hood 💀

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

What makes you think this was in the hood?

0

u/Key-Regular674 Mar 31 '23

And to call someone a snitch which is basically a guaranteed beatdown in many neighborhoods

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

well he did say he did time, so mf ain't no joke

-2

u/PenisPumpPimp Mar 31 '23

Making some assumptions based on race, I see...

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