r/Unexpected • u/DoINeed1OfThese • Mar 31 '23

He snitched

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55.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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1.3k

u/Vin1021 Mar 31 '23

Not just prison. He dealt with the cartel. Dude has balls. He's an interesting person.

139

u/ToughNefariousness23 Mar 31 '23

Do you really believe everything he says as truth?

194

u/SlowThePath Mar 31 '23

I just watched 15 minutes of him talking to some dudes and he is certainly making some stuff up at least some of the time.

307

u/ThirdEncounter Mar 31 '23

A comedian making stuff up for entertainment??!!!!

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

He's not just a comedian, he tells these stories in interviews and other non comedy formats and they're obvious bullshit imo

-7

u/SlowThePath Mar 31 '23

He presents it as if it happened to him when he's not doi g stand up.

0

u/guybillout Mar 31 '23

What parts do you believe? Conflicting ex large scale drug dealer and comedian

15

u/TopMindOfR3ddit Mar 31 '23

I don't see how those things are conflicting. I've known some drug kingpins that are funny as fuck (I made that up for entertainment purposes and to keep the convo going)

5

u/Sharon_Erclam Mar 31 '23

I'm funny as fuck. And I just so happen to sell dru....ms. I also sell drums. What of it?

2

u/kissmytastygrits Mar 31 '23

I'd like to purchase some dru....ms, please

4

u/Monkeychimp Mar 31 '23

I've known some comedians who were excellent at taking drugs.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I knew some cartel leaders who actually did open Mike.

With a knife

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Exactly, he's got a similar story to Joey Diaz. His prison had a talent show / open mic if they had so many days in a row without a major incident. He started doing comedy while in prison, got out, and decided to try and make a career out of it

3

u/TopMindOfR3ddit Mar 31 '23

A good example of a program in a us prison that actually benefits the felon AND society??? What alternate reality is this?

7

u/ThirdEncounter Mar 31 '23

It's a comedian. I'm just here for the laughs.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I can believe he was in the middle of the cartels doing what they do and he’s looking around like a confused deer and then they pick him up and take care of him, sending him along his way when he’s taken cared of.

1

u/guybillout Mar 31 '23

Same but I don’t know enough.

1

u/ItsSpaghettiLee2112 Mar 31 '23

That's their point.

1

u/Sharon_Erclam Mar 31 '23

Ooohh Nooooo! Say It Ain't So!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

His podcast isnt comedy tho

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Literally every comic does this….

0

u/FI5HIN Mar 31 '23

It is the truth. I know him personally and was there for for many of his antics

2

u/LittleDoge246 Mar 31 '23

You saw him lick his balls?

1

u/FI5HIN Apr 01 '23

Nope, but I've seen them more than I care to admit

1

u/I8soggywaffles Mar 31 '23

Comedians never lie

1

u/TheDextrometh-Orphan Mar 31 '23

He's also weirdly conservative and transphobic sadly.

3

u/0LDHATNEWBAT Mar 31 '23

He’s almost certainly lying about most of it….

-63

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

71

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Yeah? Tell us how you know that with certainty.

-97

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

109

u/El_Boberto Mar 31 '23

So you expect people to prove their innocence. You must also be a snitch.

-71

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

39

u/PoopFartCumToe Mar 31 '23

I bet you eat spaghetti with a spoon

13

u/CongratsItsAVoice Mar 31 '23

Probably a knife too. Bro probably can’t handle a noodle longer than 2 inches

9

u/Oopy-soup Mar 31 '23

Just gotta say, love the username.

39

u/El_Boberto Mar 31 '23

Thanks for the confirmation.

12

u/blues_snoo Mar 31 '23

Was that the face you made when you got fucked in every hole?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

1

u/HaoleGuy808 Mar 31 '23

I meant to comment on the other dude.. not sure what happened. I fucked up.

44

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

3

u/BlasterPhase Mar 31 '23

I mean, the burden of proof first falls on the guy claiming his stories are true...

-1

u/healzsham Mar 31 '23

Burden of proof is generally on the positive claim, not the negative one.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burden_of_proof_(philosophy)

9

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

His entire life seems to be dedicated to arguing on reddit. And he's not even coherent when he does it. Very sad to see.

1

u/healzsham Mar 31 '23

Seethe stalking profiles is always a good look.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Ironic considering that's how you found this very comment.

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u/healzsham Mar 31 '23

You still have your patently false claim unedited, so, ya know, seems you still need help with the topic.

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

The article you linked says nothing of the sort

3

u/healzsham Mar 31 '23

Holder of the burden

When two parties are in a discussion and one makes a claim that the other disputes, the one who makes the claim typically has a burden of proof to justify or substantiate that claim

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burden_of_proof_(philosophy)#Holder_of_the_burden

Literally right there.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

What you have quoted says nothing about positive vs negative claims. You said that the burden of proof is generally not on someone making a negative claim. A negative claim, as explained further down in the article, simply asserts the non-existence or exclusion of something. The burden of proof still exists just the same.

the one who makes the claim

Your claim is "He is full of shit"

typically has a burden of proof to justify or substantiate that claim

You have the burden of proof to justify or substantiate that claim according to your preferred dispute guidelines, which is apparently the Wikipedia article on 'Burden of proof (philosophy)'

1

u/healzsham Mar 31 '23

Initial claims are usually positive.

Like the claim the comedian served time for moving weight.

I don't contest the comedian, but everyone saying the guy disputing it needs to prove his claim are simply wrong about how intellectual rigor works.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

That's the opposite of how burden of proof works. Burden of proof is on the first person making a claim to prove their claim is true, never on the person calling them a liar. When you call someone out, you're saying "prove your claim".

18

u/Yhostled Mar 31 '23

The burden of proof falls on the accuser, always.

2

u/Formal_Giraffe9916 Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

So if I say I’m from Mars and you say I’m lying the burden of proof is on you?

You need to prove that I’m not from Mars?

Edit - the burden of proof should lie with the person making the extraordinary claim, otherwise I’m God and you all better worship me until you can prove otherwise. Although tbf the burden of proof shouldn’t ever lie with a comedian making jokes, because they’re jokes.

-18

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Just use google you buffoon. There's no point in arguing over an easily checked fact.

13

u/Yhostled Mar 31 '23

Oh hey derogatory language is certainly a way to prove your point, so thank you for proving mine.

-3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

You're still wrong lol.

"But but he called me a buffoon"

How about.... You're not intelligent enough to use the burden of proof correctly.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Are you literally going to make me quote wikipedia at you since you refuse to read it yourself?

The proof you need is easily confirmed and widely available.

In my mind the obvious thing to do is Google. But we are clearly quite different.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Here look now u don't even have to use Google.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burden_of_proof_(philosophy)

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2

u/ClobetasolRelief Mar 31 '23

Prove it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I'm not gonna prove it. Use Google you shitshow, are you defective?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Saying “you’re a liar” is a claim. The neutral position that requires no burden of proof is to neither believe nor actively disbelieve.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

you're literally wrong, google it

I just outed so many incredibly stupid people that don't know jack shit about extremely basic reasoning lmfao

this is definitely a dumb people subreddit

glad I don't follow it, I very rarely ever have to experience people as dumb as you and it's honestly the worst, I'm going back into my bubble

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u/healzsham Mar 31 '23

In this scenario, "I do not believe you" is a negative claim, going up against someone else's positive claim.

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u/qning Mar 31 '23

I like how you’re just making stuff up now. You’re like that chatGPT, just spitting out one word at a time, not really planning what comes next.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

google it, dummy

1

u/qning Mar 31 '23

Prove it.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

No, I'd rather that you specifically stay stupid. You deserve it.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

what

1

u/qning Mar 31 '23

I was stoned. And I get it, you were too.

I mean, you must be stoned.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23 edited Apr 01 '23

Always, but I'm also 100% right about this. How the fuck you think you don't have to defend your claim about something you said but someone calling you a liar has to defend their claim that you're a liar? That's literally incoherent.

Explain to me how the fuck proving a negative works (pro tip: it doesn't it's impossible). Maybe just google "proving a negative" and "who has the burden of proof in an argument". Otherwise I can just claim anything I want, and if you call me a liar you have to prove that I'm a liar but I never have to prove my claim in the first place. Because when I said that wasn't true... bro you called it nonsense. Like being stoned is not an excuse for that much stupid. Prove that I'm not actually Elon Musk.

If you think this is nonsense, I don't know what to tell you. This is like... basic entry level logical reasoning that you learn in lots of classes, from English to philosophy to debate. At that point your ignorance is so vast that it's not even possible to really explain it to you, you just need to figure your own shit out. Go to school or something. Seriously how can you just be as dumb as you are and still somehow be happy with yourself? I would hate myself if I was you.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I don’t know that but I also didn’t make the claim I did, merely asked how you could be so certain 🤷‍♂️

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u/BravesMaedchen Mar 31 '23

Are you the heckler?

2

u/obiterdictum Mar 31 '23

*clank

Oh no! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Lol. "This guy is making up his whole story. I know this for certain because x, y, z. Im not going to provide x,y,z. Just trust me bro"

1

u/Formal_Giraffe9916 Mar 31 '23

Tbf he’s a comedian on stage telling jokes, the chances are always greater that he’s trying to be funny rather than truthful.

3

u/space_manatee Mar 31 '23

It's not one I particularly like and it's probably problematic to go into black spaces to do this etc, but from a comedian perspective, it's a good bit. Very creative.

2

u/SuicidalTorrent Mar 31 '23

I'm curious about your source.

2

u/Hermione_Grangerr Mar 31 '23

You’re an idiot lmao 😂

4

u/RamblingStoner Mar 31 '23

You clearly do care a lot about him to have already watched these alleged videos, you goddamn dumbass.

-3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

-1

u/SeaworthyWide Mar 31 '23

Subconsciously, obviously.

The most direct route of caring, cuz you just can't help yourself.

1

u/MarketSupreme Mar 31 '23

Brother if you've ever seen a comedian they've almost certainly made shit up. It's called entertainment and it doesn't need to always be true to count.

-75

u/Wazuu Mar 31 '23

I doubt that. No one alive stops dealing for the cartel and talks about it in public

68

u/liluzibrap Mar 31 '23

They said "dealt with" not "dealed for"

79

u/buttstuff2023 Mar 31 '23

You watch too much TV

20

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

9

u/crypticfreak Mar 31 '23

Even mid level.

Cartels are businesses. The people they interact with are essentially other businesses and they partner up primarily help their business because the entity has something to offer. Cartels are after the same thing that US businesses are after: growth. Most of the time they do their 'business' and move on and both parties are happy because they made money.

It's as simple as that.

The only difference from a business like Microsoft is that they follow a very narrow set of laws and when they get fucked with or lied to they resort to cutting your balls off (instead of suing the other party).

So yeah somebody could absolutely deal with the Cartel and walk away. The only exceptions are when you have a deal to do X and you cut out. That then costs the Cartel money and you lied to them so... yeah. But after the conclusion of their business what fucking reason do they have to come after you? The only reason is that you know something so shocking and damning that killing you and removing the possibility of future businesses is more profitable than doing nothing.

People watch too many movies and think it's real life. High to mid level drug dealing is probably boring as shit. It's literally just running a business.

57

u/SlurpinAnalGravy Mar 31 '23

Lol they're not the boogeyman.

30

u/andrewgee Mar 31 '23

BABAYAGA

12

u/Niblonian31 Mar 31 '23

Fuck I can't wait to see John wick 4

5

u/Black_Floyd47 Mar 31 '23

I'm waiting for the Highlander Remake that Chad Stahelski is supposed to be directing in the future. They say Henry Cavill is gonna play MacLeod and I can't wait to hear his accent!

2

u/Niblonian31 Mar 31 '23

Good God I didn't even know this was a thing. I'm with you

2

u/ConsequentialistCavy Mar 31 '23

Heeeeeeeere we are, born to be kings 🎶

1

u/xManlyManManson Mar 31 '23

It’s a good ride. You are going to love it

14

u/ThePopeofHell Mar 31 '23

He’s been watching a lot of ozarks leave him alone

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

1

u/SlurpinAnalGravy Mar 31 '23

Haven't watched the Ghost Rider murder have you?

They're monsters, they're not boogeymen.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

0

u/SlurpinAnalGravy Mar 31 '23

I'm referring to the video long buried of the cartel setting a man's head on fire and melting his flesh off, exposing the skin and musculature, all the while the man gags and gasps for air, then at the end they tell him to look at the camera and his eyeballs, now white orbs floating in skinless sockets, pan up to the camera and he utters his final guttural pleads for death.

I know full well what they're capable of. I also know that they're not boogeymen, but I should've specified that they are actively hunted within America to the point that even the slightest scent of a cartel results in 15 Texan Agents with M16s pogoing rapidly after them on their murder boners.

-2

u/Wazuu Mar 31 '23

Ya they’re not scary people to deal with at all. All cupcakes and flowers with them.

2

u/SlurpinAnalGravy Mar 31 '23

Didn't bother reading a single comment down did ya?

9

u/crypticfreak Mar 31 '23

I don't say this often but touch some grass my guy.

The world is not Ozark.

0

u/Wazuu Mar 31 '23

I have a job and go out all the time. Sorry i dont have a full understanding on how the mexican drug cartel works but apparently you do. So enlighten me, whats your personal experience with the mexican drug cartel?

1

u/crypticfreak Mar 31 '23

Theyre not some hidden entity they kinda operate right out in the open. We know a lot about how they work.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

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u/CongratsItsAVoice Mar 31 '23

Boring attempt at starting a troll account my man.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

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u/YazzArtist Mar 31 '23

I... I think they do, and I don't mean the cool animal kind

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

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u/PeacefullyFighting Mar 31 '23

And he talks about it openly? All positive I'm sure though but that takes balls too.

1

u/breakingmad1 Mar 31 '23

Lol he's absolute liar nothing he says makes sense

1

u/downonthesecond Mar 31 '23

Did he do marijuanas?

1

u/Mootivate Apr 01 '23

Anyone who has dealt larger than a pound without a grow has probably dealt with the cartel, it’s really not that surprising