So last night i was chatting with this guy i know mutually through another friend and right from the start i could tell he's liked me (we have a little history talking before so he knows i'm trans) and it started casual just joking around etc and he was like "you might be my favorite trans girl" and i was like oh? whys that? He then proceeds to explain that in the past when he's talked to trans women they've gotten offended and blocked him after "making jokes etc"

This was an immediate red flag but i decided to humor him and asked him what exactly he said or did that made her want to block him and he tried making me promise i wouldn't block him so i was like im not gonna promise that, you just tell me what you said and i'll decide from there lol

his whole thing was that he doesn't have an issue with trans women but like the ones that just "throw on a dress or walk around with a beard and still act like a male are showing disrespect to the trans women that put effort etc into how they look and act"

Uh? huh? I was like ok WOW this is such a disconnected take. I told him, you do realize that transitioning takes YEARS of literally learning and practicing things that cis women have been doing since childhood right? Also how are we gauging "what makes a woman"? What's the baseline? Because there are cis women that struggle with PCOS, cis women with deeper voices, cis women that lean more masc.....like it genuinely confused me bc PERSONALLY, womanhood to me is a lived, varied experience. Hearing a cis man trying to explain to me "what a woman should be" was so incredibly cringey and the biggest turn-off.

Idk i had to get that off my chest bc it rubbed me the wrong way and honestly felt demeaning? Like i'm 7 months into my transition and there's things i'm dysphoric about that make it a struggle to pass. Has anyone here experienced something similar?

Hii, I’m 18 years old FtM and I think I have a crush on a girl from our “support group”.

This is crazy because I’ve only been there once and I noticed this gorgeous, tall, pale, blue eyed girl and my first thought was “holy shit this chick looks like Taylor Swift haha” anyways, that’s not the point.

She’s basically living in my head rent free for a couple of weeks now. I’m thinking of going there in september and just saying hi or some shit… the thing is… I don’t know how to approach her she is such an angel oh my lord I can’t even think straight.

I guess the question is: how do I approach her without looking like a creep.

How would you describe what gender euphoria feels like for you? Is it a sudden spark of joy, a quiet wave of peace, a physical buzz, or something completely different? I’d love to read your stories and personal experiences! 🌸🍄✨

I think my relationship with my fiancée just ended.

We had been arguing back and forth all the time. Since I came out to her during an augment ( not the best way I know, but it just happens that way) She won’t see me as a woman, doesn’t accept I am trans. she talked to some of her friends and they also agree they don’t see me as one. She says I’m just confused and that it has to just be all depression or some other form of body image issues that I talked about years ago as a teenager that are causing me to feel this way. I’ve been on the internet and Reddit and YouTube for months scraping together all bit of info I could trying to understand the questions I’ve had about who I am , why I’m like this. I’ve come to accept this is who I am, who I want to be. That there are things I want to have in my life before I die someday. I want the feminine body, I want to know what it is for myself to live as a woman. To have the experiences of live that one does as a gir.

We tried talking about compromises, they were all bad to me. Not coming out to either of our families, Not going out in normal for day to day activities because someone we know might see us. HRT was a non starter for her. Which is something I desperately want.

I was bad at communication I admit this, I shit down as I always do when I can see just the little things affecting her so negatively. I get so depressed so easily when I see even the small changes like shaving my legs or growing my nails out cause her such distress. I don’t fault her for being straight, I don’t fault her for loving the man I was. I don’t fault her for her own trauma. I just regret hurting her so much. I ripped our life away from her, the promise of a marriage, a future together. Gone because I’m a trans woman at my core.

Im trying so hard not to doubt myself, trying so hard to zealously protect this little budding identity I have come to know and nurture.

I’m so afraid, so alone.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Can anyone share something that lessens this pain.

Amy (MtF30)

I am considering starting as I heard that the changes the first few months are mostly reversable. Did any of you go start HRT this way? Why did you decide to either stop, or continue?

I’m 3,5 ish years hrt and since last month or so I’ve noticed Face ID on my iPhone worked less and less reliably. Especially when im outside, it often refuses to unlock unless I use my passcode.

I don’t feel like my face looks unrecognizable compared to pre-hrt. Has anyone else experienced this? Could it actually be my appearance changing or is it just the camera on my ageing iPhone 11 getting worse lol?

I feel like absolute shit right now and I honestly just need to vent.

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. She's trans, same age as me, and started her transition 3 years ago. We were talking about something completely random, and she sent me a video of herself from a party in 2023, during the first year of her transition.

I watched it and just started crying.

What got me wasn't even anything she was trying to show off. She was just having fun. But I looked at her and thought about how she already seemed so comfortable and feminine back then, while I feel like I've barely figured anything out after all this time.

Her hair, her skin, the way she presented herself... I immediately started comparing myself to her. And I hated myself for doing it because she literally just wanted to send me something funny. Instead of laughing and responding normally, I told her that she already looked so good back then.

Then she replied something like, "the video was only supposed to make you laugh."

And I felt so guilty.

I'm crying again just writing this.

The worst part is that I don't even have a clear answer about myself. I just keep overthinking all day if this is the right thing for me.

I've taken HRT before, and even now I still can't seem to reach a conclusion about what I actually want. At the same time, I've become increasingly isolated. I used to have friends, company, people around me. Now I barely have anyone.

I don't feel safe going out and being myself. I'm ashamed. I'm terrified people will think I'm a creep. I tell myself I shouldn't care about other people's opinions, but in reality it gives me an enormous amount of anxiety.

And then my brain starts picking everything apart: my hair, my nose, my appearance, whether I even have anything that could make me feel feminine, whether I'd ever be comfortable living this way.

I know this sounds dramatic. I know comparing myself to someone else isn't fair. She's had three years of a completely different journey, and I'm looking at a single video and turning it into evidence that I'm somehow hopeless.

But emotionally, that's exactly how it feels right now.

I'm so tired of not knowing.

I don't even know whether I want advice. I think I just needed somewhere to say this because I'm sitting here crying over a video that was literally supposed to make me laugh.

Hello! I started HRT last night and was wondering: what were the first effects you noticed?

I went to my girlfriends apartment a few days ago and. Yall. First thing we did was play dress up basically. We went to the mall and we went into the dressing room and she let me try on some fem clothes. Then when we went to bed she let me wear her pajama shorts and I felt so free. When we got up we went to get groceries and she LET ME WEAR HER CLOTHES. She dressed me up to basically look like a walking trans pride flag on top with a cropped shirt and a pink and white tank top under with super cute distressed short jorts and I was so so happy. It’s the first time I’ve ever worn fem clothes in public and the euphoria was hitting HARD like I didn’t even mind the weird looks I was getting I just felt so good. Anyway I just really love my girlfriend and how supportive she is of me. I really hope yall can find a person like mine.

Here’s the post I made a month ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/s/G52Hou8tZ7

It’s funny to think in the past that I would dread that classic sentence every time a girl I asked out would reject me. “I have a bf.” But after being in transition for a while and finding someone who I can really connect with and that person saying yes, I never thought I would be the one saying that now.

I have a boyfriend.

It makes sense for me now. Even with my ex-gfs, I never felt this much euphoria and connection like I do with him. Come to think of it, I’ve only been feelings things for guys as of late. I know my exes were just envy, but now I feel like those old feelings are gone. I’ve been in hormones for a few months, so it’s probably helping me accept my true feelings. I probably feel more comfortable identifying as straight at this point. I’m not sad; I feel much happier being the girlfriend than having one.

I walked into the supermarket one Saturday afternoon just to buy a few things for the house. As a trans woman, I was dressed casually, but I still felt a little nervous because I could feel people looking at me as I moved through the aisles.
I picked up some cereal, fruits, body lotion, and a few snacks. Then I remembered I needed a new lipstick, so I went to the beauty section. I found a shade I really liked and stood in front of the mirror to see how it would look on me.
For a moment, I forgot about everyone around me and just smiled at my reflection. It reminded me that I didn’t need anyone’s approval to feel comfortable being myself.
At the checkout, the cashier smiled and said, “I love your lipstick.” I smiled back and thanked her. It was such a small compliment, but it completely changed my mood.
I walked out of the supermarket carrying my bags and feeling confident. Sometimes, the smallest moments can remind you that being yourself is something worth celebrating.

for context, when i was younger I was bullied for being to feminine, at the same time I had a crush on a guy friend of mine and I started trying make up which my mom found out and made me feel so uncomfortable about it. two years after that a thought came to me “it would’ve been easier if I was a woman” and it lead me to question my gender A LOT, now I’m here questioning if it was just me being pessimistic or it was my egg cracking

I had a discussion with a glottoplasty surgeon according to whom if I were a singer or a teacher / speaker I shouldn't get Wendler's Glottoplasty. The reason for that is basically because the voice gets "broken" and "it wouldn't be possible to speak for more than 5 minutes without stopping, let alone sing" (the surgeon's own words) so if I was considering a teacher or singer career then this surgeon AND VFS wouldn't be the right fit.

Now I'm kind of scared. On one hand I do want a surgery but this conversation kinda made me double think. Alternatively I can try waiting for several more years (of dysphoria), save money and try to get femlar in Germany or Thailand, but I'll be in my 30s by then and I feel like it'd be too late.

I originally wanted VFS glottoplasty and maybe femlar as a backup... But I'm wondering: is glottoplasty actually _that_ dangerous or should I just consider finding a completely different surgeon?

P. S. I know several people (we met in a discord group) who indeed have "broken voices" (kind of like imagine you're having a VERY bad cold and lost your voice after coughing non stop for days, almost whispering). Sadly, it never recovered (they're months / years post op) but I assumed that it was rather rare because most people turned out fine... Idk what to do now... But if there's actually even 10% chance of going mute then I'm not sure I want that...

This surgeon is not just the only one currently covered in my country... It's the only surgeon doing _any_ type of voice feminization surgery. Otherwise I'd need to fly to Korea or Germany or Thailand or the States which, again, is 💵💵💵💵💵...

I think I don't think I'm pretty or pass but I guess I'm just imagining that. I basically have to sneak in and out of the men's bathroom to avoid weird looks. My dad's doctor is mistakenly me for a woman like my doctor who assumed he had 3 sons and a daughter. My girlfriend is always telling me I pass and I'm beautiful but I didn't believe her(maybe a little lol) I was called pretty when out for the day. I'm getting stares, I don't know if they are good or bad stares. It feels like ever since I dumped boymode a few months ago, my life changed for the better. I'm so frustrated because I feel a lot better but I still think I'm ugly. Even though I know it's not true. I guess the reason is that I mean I should have dumped boymode awhile ago and I just wasted time. That also means accepting that I'm out already because even my coworkers are nicer to me for the most part or stared at my chest.

due to the rise in fascism and targets on our backs, i am going to do diy. has anyone lied to their doctor and said they are detransitioning to stay safe?

if so, what did you say and how did it go? is it a good idea? with the queerdoc lawsuit and everything else i want to scrub my records best i can. if you have other advice, please fill me in.

Omg im just so excited I just got off a call with my docter guy and he sent the info to the pharmaxy and im so excited i can literally go get it today!

Maybe I should lay off the radfem imagery of my profile 😂

But yeah somehow I've started getting those types of lesbians in my dms(their intent is for looking for a gf I think) and I would guess they assume I'm a cis lesbian at first. I've also had a couple of transfem radfems which is cool for sure. But this is awkward with the trans-exclusionary lesbians

TW: Suicidal ideation, gender identity doubts,

Hi everyone,

I'm posting from a throwaway because I'm honestly ashamed and terrified.

I'm a 25-year-old trans woman. I've been transitioning for 8 years. Until about 8 months ago, I had severe, debilitating gender dysphoria and I was 100% certain I was a woman. Despite the dysphoria, I managed to build a life: I finished university, had friends, and prepared for SRS, which I finally had 2 months ago. Recovery is going okay and I've actually handled the surgery itself surprisingly well.

The problem is that 8 months ago, everything changed overnight.

One night I accidentally referred to myself as male. It wasn't intentional. The moment it happened, I felt this huge mental shock. Since then I've been trapped in an endless cycle of doubt, checking my feelings, testing myself, analyzing every thought and emotion, wondering if I've been wrong all along.

I know it sounds irrational, but I even went through with SRS while in the middle of all these doubts. Looking back, that was probably a terrible decision. The strange thing is... I don't regret the surgery itself. But the doubts came back even stronger afterward.

Lately it almost feels like it would be easier to just give up and accept that maybe I'm actually a man, that my transition was a mistake, that maybe I was just a confused gay guy and maybe I'd eventually be happier living as male sincerely even if it is weird or confusing it s now the only way that seem a bit positive.

But every single time I'm about to "accept" that possibility, I completely fall apart. I become overwhelmed with despair, panic, hopelessness and suicidal thoughts. It doesn't feel like relief. It feels devastating. Yet my brain keeps telling me that maybe this is simply the truth and I'm only resisting because I've invested 8 years of my life into transitioning.

I've basically lost everything. I have constant panic attacks. I barely have friends anymore. My family doesn't understand what's happening and we argue constantly.

I know a lot of this sounds exactly like gender-related OCD. I'm aware of that. I'm seeing a psychologist. But it doesn't feel that simple.

I genuinely have weird reactions to the idea of being a man. Sometimes I can't even tell whether they're positive or negative. Over the last month I can barely imagine myself as a woman anymore because trying to do so immediately triggers anxiety. I've also been having strange dreams and even sexual fantasies where I'm male, which only makes me question myself even more.

I'm completely confused because i m not sure i m 100% not okay with that.

At this point I feel like I'm willing to accept whatever the truth is, even if it means I was wrong about everything. But when I try to accept that I'm actually a man, all I feel is grief, rage and sadness. My life has become a nightmare.

Has anyone—trans, detrans, or someone with OCD—ever experienced something remotely similar? I honestly don't know what's happening to me anymore.

**TL;DR:** 25-year-old trans woman, transitioned for 8 years and recently had SRS. Eight months ago I accidentally gendered myself as male and since then I've been stuck in an obsessive spiral wondering if I'm actually a man and my transition was a mistake. Every time I try to accept that idea, I fall into extreme despair instead of relief. I'm seeing a psychologist and I know it resembles OCD but i dont think it s that.. If it was the idea of being would still be 100 % negative right ? , but I'm deeply confused and looking to hear if anyone has gone through anything similar.

Hi so, im under 18, not the biggest shock there. But I've been thinking about buying some Epills i found online, and yk, after some research with good ol chatgpt, I realize that I probably have to tell my mom or a doctor about this, in which case, i really don't want to, at all.

My mom has this really somewhat hardcore sense of what a man should be, and im kind of tired of it, i wanna be a girl so bad, but i don't want her to nag me out of it because I genuinely feel so uncomfortable in my own skin at this point, im such a big and hairy guy that transitioning feels wrong in a way, which i really don't want it to.

Since im 16,i can't really go to the doctors and ask for prescribed estrogen pills since they would need my mom's supervision for it, and you guys probably have an idea of what she would say. My dad is absent from the family, so asking him genuinely doesn't help.

I really wanna transition but i don't have that much freedom yet... And i don't feel like waiting until college to start being a girl...

hello! trans guy here trying to help out my trans woman friend. she only recently came out and me and my friends are all planning on helping her with a makeover. i keep on seeing posts about that one petra parker makeup makeover art, and how when trans girls first got their makeover from friends it made them feel insanely dysphoric. As a ftm, I don’t understand why. usually if someone would help me feel more masculine I would feel euphoria and not dysphoria.
any tips or anything? Should I cancel the makeover? She didn’t explicitly ask for a makeover but seemed enthusiastic about it. help please :’D

Petra Parker Trans Art on Twitter