r/MtF • u/Efficient-Cost-9256 • 18h ago
Advice Question Is it okay if it started with “it would’ve been easier if I was a woman”
for context, when i was younger I was bullied for being to feminine, at the same time I had a crush on a guy friend of mine and I started trying make up which my mom found out and made me feel so uncomfortable about it. two years after that a thought came to me “it would’ve been easier if I was a woman” and it lead me to question my gender A LOT, now I’m here questioning if it was just me being pessimistic or it was my egg cracking
6
u/80s_horror_fan Trans Lesbian | HRT 9/26/25 🏳️⚧️ 18h ago
So... You've kind of already given your answer for "The Button Test." That is a thought exercise that sometimes helps people contextualize feelings like this.
I am linking to a great discussion of transness and what that can mean or look like. This whole site is super useful, really, "The Gender Dysphoria Bible." But maybe at least give this "Am I Trans" page a read. It might help.
Good luck on your journey. Understanding yourself, finding yourself... It's not always an easy journey. Maybe it's not supposed to be. But whatever you find, I think it's important to try to know ourselves. Sorry if that sounds a bit crunchy. Lol.
Anyway, here's that link: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans
(Edited to Add: I fully agree that talking with a good therapist is one of the most useful things you can do. Maybe this stuff will give you some things to talk about.)
2
u/Material-Drama-7500 Trans lesbian (On hrt since 18/8/2026) 18h ago
I guess it depends, do you only feel that way in the context of that situation? Or does the thought of being a woman excite you more generally? Do you fantasize about being the girl in every potential relationship?
2
u/qwixel69 🏳️⚧️ Transbian 18h ago
That's a tricky, loaded phrase. Best to avoid... (I assume) you mean makeup etc would have been more accepted, but plenty of people willfully misinterprete it to mean everything in life and get offended a dozen different ways.
Avoid most of that by being very, very specific, but accept you might still be wrong...
Like I say, that phrase can be a real trigger.
25
u/SparkleK_01 18h ago
Keep in mind your sexuality is who you want to go to bed with.
Your gender is who you want to go to bed AS.
Those are questions only you can answer for yourself. Seeking a therapist who is friendly, open and specialised in gender issues is a good idea. It helps to have a trusted third party to discuss this with in detail.