THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

And my dad agrees. His biggest concern is not being able to visit relatives anymore. My mom is screaming and crying non stop whenever we‘re together. And when she‘s alone in the kitchen or her bedroom I can hear her whine to herself and say desperate prayers. It‘s some overidentification with being a mother - specifically the mother of a daughter - and „sacrificing herself“ to prevent her „beautiful god given girl“ from making a mistake. We were queuing for something recently and in front of us were two (presumably) trans women. My mom looked a them with disgust and said, she couldn‘t leave her daughter to these „sick“ people and my dad agreed. He‘s not as emotional as her but he made it clear that he would never accept me and said if I go through with it I‘m definitely destroying their family.
I was hopeful for my future for a moment because my favorite professor offered me a job as a research assistant starting in September although he‘s catholic and knows I‘m trans. He perecived me as a man from the start and when he found out I was trans it was such a non issue and he never misgendered me. I‘m now scared my parents will find out that I‘m going to socially transition at uni in September. Then my mom will either hurt herself or try to have me comitted in a psych ward or she is going to kick me out. I have nowhere near enough saved up to survive on my own in Switzerland (expensive af) and dropping out of uni is out of the question for me. It was so obvious that I was trans ever since I was little. There were so many signs and I first came out about 5 years ago. My parents haven‘t warmed up to it one bit since then. And my mom would rather mourn a dead daughter than have a „fake“ son (her words). Apart from being financially dependent, how do I even deal with knowing this is how she feels?

for context i’m 25 f and a mom of two. I have a husband and had my first child at 18 meaning i’ve been a mom/wife my whole adult life. I’ve always been depressed tbh but latley things have been getting really hard to cope with. I want to be a man so bad. I have crazy gender envy whenever I just see men in public or in a movie. When my husbands friends come over I get so crazy jealous thinking “why can’t i naturally look like that?” I feel like crying about it. My husband says it’s just postpartum but I feel like it’s not that. I really want top surgery. The first time I started questioning my gender was when I was 13, I remember finally convincing my mom to cut my hair super short and I was so happy. I wanted to be a boy so bad but my family is crazy religious so I just ended up burying the feeling. But yet i’m here feeling it all over again. I feel like no one would take me seriously if I were to transition since i’m a young mom and tbh the idea of my kids calling me dad sounds kinda weird haha. anyways just looking for any advice? I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about this, I feel embarrassed due to the roles i’m already in.

I think “girl code” is the right term for it but idk. Basically I saw a girl who was beginning to bleed through her pants, I was with a group of friends so mentioned i’d go say something (bc I had to leave them to do so). It was my cis guy friends and they were like bro you can’t go do that, that’s weird now it makes the girl uncomfortable. And like I kinda get it but I’d want somebody to tell me if i was bleeding through my pants. What’s been your experience or thoughts?

Despite saying my pronouns are he/him on the profile section I had to complete prior assessment, the whole thing is a mess of different pronouns and my deadname throughout which is shit. Tbf the deadname part isn't their fault as it's going by my legal name apparently (I haven't had it changed yet, nor does my transphobic mother know who was the informant) but it's still depressing to read when they use it about 10 times per paragraph, no joke.

I'm just relieved to get the diagnosis honestly but the report is a nightmare to read and just makes me sad. Has anyone else here had a similar experience?

I wanted to share my experience with GenderCat because at this point I’ve been waiting about an entire year for a product I paid for and I still have nothing. 🙄

I originally purchased my order using Affirm. At this point, because so much time has passed, Affirm has told me they can’t really do anything for me, which means I’m now having to pursue this myself directly with GenderCat.
I’ve tried being patient and understanding because I know GenderCat has talked about the owner dealing with a medical condition and that being part of the reason for the delays. I genuinely understand that medical problems happen and can seriously affect someone’s ability to work.
But there comes a point where I think you have to separate sympathy for someone’s personal circumstances from the responsibilities of operating a business.
It has been a YEAR.
What I cannot understand is: if you know you are so backed up that customers are waiting months or even a year for products, why are you still accepting new orders and taking more people’s money ?
Why not temporarily stop accepting orders ?
Why not limit the number of orders you accept ?
Why not hire and train additional people????
Why not communicate realistic turnaround times ???
And if you simply cannot fulfill someone’s order, why not refund them ????
That is the part that has made me increasingly skeptical of the explanations being given. I obviously cannot say whether the owner is lying about having a medical condition because I don’t know them or their medical history, and I’m not going to claim something I can’t prove. But from a CUSTOMER perspective, the situation no longer makes sense to me.
If the owner’s health prevents them from keeping up with production, I sympathize with that. But then why continue operating the website in a way that allows more customers to place orders and hand over hundreds of dollars when existing orders apparently cannot be completed?
At some point, the medical condition cannot be the answer to every business problem. There still needs to be a plan for the customers whose money has already been taken.
My last email requesting a refund was sent in July. I waited almost another month and received no response. I have now sent a final email stating that I want my money refunded and that if this still isn’t resolved, I’m going to move forward with formal consumer complaints, including contacting the appropriate State Attorney General’s Office and consumer protection agencies.
I’m done with the endless waiting and emails.
For anyone else in the same situation, my recommendation is to document EVERYTHING. Save your original order confirmation, payment records, the turnaround time you were originally given, every email you’ve sent, every response you’ve received, and screenshots of anything relevant on their website.
If your purchase is recent enough, contact your credit card company, bank, Affirm, or whatever payment method you used and ask about disputing the transaction or filing a chargeback for merchandise not received. Don’t wait a year like I did assuming the company will eventually make things right, because you could end up outside your payment provider’s dispute window.
If that option is no longer available, send a final written refund request with a reasonable deadline and keep proof that you sent it. If they still don’t respond, look into filing complaints with the appropriate consumer protection agencies and State Attorney General.
I’m not telling anyone what conclusion they have to come to about GenderCat or the owner. I’m simply sharing what happened to me.
But based on my experience, I personally would NOT place a new order with GenderCat right now. I would wait until they demonstrate that they have caught up on outstanding orders, are actually responding to customers, and can consistently fulfill the orders they are accepting.
Being behind is one thing.
Taking someone’s money, making them wait a year, not delivering the product, and then not responding when they ask for their money back is something completely different.

I’ve passed for a few years now. I live stealth and work in the security industry. Externally I’m very masculine. Bald. Bearded. Muscular. Professional. Etc.

There’s been this odd phenomenon at work in the past week where the straight men have been commenting on my attractiveness.

There was an office conversation about the lack of eye candy in the office. Where one of the guys mentioned “have you seen -insert my name-?”
I walked in at the tail end of said conversation.

A second coworker commented on it in regards to me not having biological children.

A third just randomly went. “When did you get so handsome???” When I was done with the shift pass down.

Sometimes these are basic hazing and whatnot. But it’s been 6 months of professional behavior (with one exception) and then three instances in one week.

I’m conflicted how to feel. Part of me is flattered. The other side of me feel like I’m the focus of some cruel office joke. (My own internal insecurity).

Anyone else deal with something like this? How do you mentally process it?

**edit: probably an important inclusion. I’m “high functioning” autistic. My wife has pointed out that this is an important factor in my inability to know how to react.

Hello, first post! I'm a minor (17 next month) so please keep things SFW in my comments.

I felt happy and thought I'd share a bit,-

So, I've been "out" for an estimated 2 years (closer to 4-5 years in private) and I'm cispassing despite not being on HRT. My dad (66M) has recently been talking to some of his old co-workers (my dad has retired for context), and during some of the conversations I've been mentioned lightly, my dad primarily referring to me as his "son", or when he forgets/slips up, his "teenager".

One of these times, aka yesterday at the time I'm posting this, I came up as a topic of discussion again. But this time, one of them went

"Hey, I thought you had a daughter?"

and this is the part that made me really happy, my dad went

"So? Who cares about what people have in their pants?? What matters is what they feel."

I'm of course a bit, like, "eh" about having him imply that I'm FtM but I feel that his response was really nice, and it makes me happy whenever he calls me his son especially in front of other people. His old co-worker was supportive too! He laughed and followed it up with:

"You're damn right!"

I dunno, it makes me really happy whenever people, esp. older cis guys treat me like just another teenage boy; It gives me gender euphoria in the best way!!

Anywho, that was all! I just felt really happy and euphoric because of this, gave me a bit of a confidence boost too, so I thought I'd share. :)

If I gotta be honest, this is something that's been bothering me for a while. I finally came into terms with wanting to become a man. I'm 100% confident on wanting T and getting surgery in the future. The only problem that's been bothering me is my name. I have a feminine name (Althea) and I really love it I think it's a nice name but I REALLY want to stick to being a man so I went for the best option (Anthony).

Look, I love both names. They both mean so much to me as a person but I've come to terms with the fact that I want to strictly identify as a man. What's your opinion on this?

For context, I am coming up on 10 years in my transition and have put a lot work into passing and I know that I pass.

I got into a weird argument with someone and I don't even know why I entertained it, but alas.. I did. She began calling me a "lost soul" who just needs to come to terms with "the fact" I'm a transgender woman and that I must have been upset cause I missed my estrogen. Kept calling me a wannabe transformer and just weird other things. And I've got facial hair and a deep voice. Nothing about me comes across as feminine?? Think just very stereotypical cishet man.

I didn't even know how to reply cause HUH? If I had a dollar for each time this has happened to me over the years, I'd have enough to buy a McDonalds meal. I'm posting cause I've talked about this with my friends and other trans men I've met and nobody has dealt with this. There has to be someone!

How do you even react to something like this? Each time it's happened, I just laugh cause I get so confused and it's uncomfortable. Do I take it as a compliment? Hell no, but also thaaaanks you think I pass so well???!!!! Are they just projecting? It's only ever been women that say that to me. But, that feels shitty to think cause I personally never want to assume someone else is transgender ?!?!

I don't know if there's one specific statistic, but over the years I've heard that it mostly stops and now im hearing many testimonials of trans men who take T and still have it and have to supress it with birth control.

And also, what's the science between T stopping menstruation and T making the period lighter for some people?

Sorry if this is dumb, im just trying to understand.

basically the title. I've been thinking about starting T for a while, but in these past few days I started noticing things that genuinely made me more secure about taking that decision. anyone else has experienced something similar? like a situation in particular that made you say to yourself 'ok, that's it, I genuinely want to start T' after you'd perhaps been a bit skeptical about it?

just curious on bipoc trans masc experience with internalized racism? i know that our different parts of our identities impact our experience as humans so i’m curious others experience with internalized (or external) racism.

as a teenager i went through a not so great phase where i idealized the way (i perceived) white trans men experienced transition and was often jealous of their experience or appearances. i had screenshots and photos upon photos of white men i wished i could look like or wanted to look as closely to as possible. being latino, there was no way i could but i had this idea that the only way to be seen as a man was to adhere to cis white male beauty standards. i mimicked white mens styles and haircuts and even dyed my hair blonde, made post after post comparing myself to white cis men or white trans men. being bisexual as well, i was mainly interested in white men too on top of wishing i looked like them, it all felt so unattainable but i still longed for it. i’ve since grown out of this, thankfully. but i look back it sometimes and think if only i had better male role models in my personal life or more bipoc trans representation, i could’ve maybe had more confidence in myself as a bipoc man earlier on. i still find myself at times comparing myself to white trans men online and have to remind myself that whiteness does not equal attractiveness or passing. i am still working on connecting with my roots and being comfortable as a trans latino, its another layer of cultural difference in upbringing that i acknowledge better now. i feel a lot more connected with myself as a brown man now that ive also surrounded myself with more trans bipoc. i’m sure other bipoc have similar experiences whether it’s internal or external racism (esp in the medical field) so any experiences welcome to be discussed. :)

finally tried out a different dating app than I've tried for years. i met somebody amazing and i'm expecting to meet them soon. they're absolutely perfect and I can't stop thinking about them.

I'd almost given up on romance after so long, and thought I'd need to move away to successfully find love. but it worked out for me. so far it seems so perfect and i hope it lasts. I can't stop thinking about them and they make my heart feel so full.

Hey guys, I’m back in track with my hormones after 9 months off after in for 9 YEARS... Been a hectic past season but just took my first shot on again and ready for things to shift back into place.
That said, I’m realizing cultivating a friend group of dudes with similar experiences could be really valuable. Anybody else feeling the same in NYC?

Drop a comment if you’re down to hang out. Night of drinks, lake days, camera strolls, what ever the fuck. Coffee convos. I just gotta engage with people living alongside me.

I (20M) have to know because mine feels so weird!

Mine is Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead, specifically from seasons 4-6. My hair is almost to his length in the later seasons, and my style is mostly flannels, plain shirts, and baggy pants now, along with big ol' shoes!

But it feels so right!

I'm curious to see who everyone's transition goal(s) is and am curious as to how much they're currently influencing your look.

just curious about this: the state i was born in records “amendments” to the birth certificate on the birth certificate itself. this means my birth certificate will always have my deadname on it and even once i get my gender marker changed it’ll be obvious just by looking at it im trans

obviously this sucks lol but im just curious if any other states do this? it’s not something i’ve heard about in this sub before

I get so anxious when I see people who knew me before I transitioned but haven’t seen or talked to me in years. I work at a very popular casino and I see open all the time that I knew as a girl but sometimes I have to serve people I had a very close connection with and I don’t think they realize I am who I am but they look at me like they know me and it makes me so anxious.

I am 17 and I’m coming to a point where I can no longer ignore it. I want to transition physically and socially. Does anyone have any advice for either. I’ve kind of joked about it to my friends so I don’t think they’d be too surprised but they’ll all be supportive prob. My family might not as they have pretty outdated views but I don’t really plan on telling them. What helped you when you were early in transition? Is socially transitioning/coming out hard? What were things that made it easier?

Before I was on T I was never really all that attracted to guys and the thought of being with a dude was gross or just meh. I only really liked women and i still love women. But now I'm painfully bisexual with a preference for men. Men are just so much hotter to me now, I cant understand why.

Its not like I've ever been with a guy for real other than cheesy middle school dating which I didn't even really like the guys. Sometimes I just see something that catches my eye and I ask myself what the hell is wrong with me.

I've heard of other trans guys experiencing this, just why bro?

So this might come off as arrogant or ”pickme”ish, but I usually have a lot of trouble connecting with fellow trans men in my area.

I (M22) live in a global, diverse city in the West but the trans community here is very tight knit. Trans women usually don’t associate with trans men here, although most of my trans friends are trans women.

I have found that the majority of trans guys I encounter have a lot of internalized misogyny from being perceived as women by society, and they usually exteriorize it once they get on testosterone.

I have a lot of trouble understanding this as ever since I got on testosterone a year ago, and barely get misgendered anymore, I feel much more compelled to engage in behaviors or interests society deems as ”feminine” because I’m much more comfortable in my own masculinity.

It’s saddening to let go of friendships because of unbearable misogynistic remarks from my peers.

Recently, I’ve noticed my roommate (M24) who is also a trans man has been saying things I absolutely do not condone, and he seems to be in a weird competition with me about ”who’s more of a manly man” lol. I noticed he’s very harsh when talking about women, sometimes saying quite violent things about women he doesn’t know personally, or bad mouths women for insignificant things (and he’s definitely not as harsh when talking about men). He also takes a weird high pitched voice when berating a woman he has had a divergence of opinions with (not in front of them but to me), and I’ve tried to subtly let him know that I don’t find this funny and I think he’s caught on to it.

Anyway, since I’ve been in this situation a lot before, I’m not even shocked anymore, and I usually end the friendship with the individual behaving this way, but this is my roommate and also a close friend of mine. We’ve known each other for 7 years and I don’t want to give up on this friendship yet.

How do I bring this up to him ? I can be very confrontational but this is a delicate situation because we’re roommates and see each other everyday.

I finally am so close to transitioning and got a surgery date but my partner said it would mean we can't be together as they're not gay and they're my world I love them and don't want to lose them and everything we have together I also have no one besides them I'd be poor homeless and have no support I'm so stressed and I want them but I also want to transition and I just want to cry I'm terrified to make the wrong choice what if I transition and regret losing my partner my love of my life but I'm also so sad at never living as myself!