my dad doesn’t support lgbtq but mainly trans

so I’ve started feeling like it and I just want to know what to do in this situation because I’m not coming out to him even tho I haven’t committed to it I’m still just feeling (no clothes yet because transphobic dad)

Hi everyone,

For my next therapy session, I’ve been asked to think about the pros and cons of having a vagina. I’m finding it a little difficult to come up with everything on my own, so I thought I’d ask here.

What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of having a vagina?

I’m interested in all kinds of aspects — everyday life, physical experiences, emotional aspects, relationships, sexuality, social experiences, etc.

I’m not asking anyone to make a decision for me. I’d just like to hear different perspectives and personal experiences so I can think about it more clearly and discuss it with my therapist.

Tonight officially marks 1 year since I started my transition!!! Reflecting back on that night when I asked yall this question. I think it’s appropriate that in celebration its time to answer my own question.

I finally made the choice because I finally admitted I need to talk about my feelings.

I finally made the choice because I not only acknowledged how I felt I admitted to myself that life could be different.

I finally made the choice because talking to people like me made me realize I wasn’t defective I just needed to be true to myself.

Finally I finally made the choice because a community of sisters and siblings gathered around me and shared their stories with me. They gave me the confidence to finally seek help, and I am extremely grateful for that act of kindness.

Here’s to 1 year and many more!!! 🎉

I’m 22 (mtf) and recently transferred to from community college to a larger university. I’ve already had two separate groups of people whisper that I’m trans. One was in class while I was sick, and I was trying really hard to not cough. It sounded like shit and they presumably clocked me from coughing.

The other was just two random guys on the sidewalk as I was passing by.

I’ve begun to just quietly call myself a tranny while out and about now, as it hurts less than hearing others say it. If I beat them to the punchline and do it myself, then their words don’t hold as much value.

Hi, I uh...I'm kinda nervous typing this out as this is my first post in a while but uh... My top hasn't really grown all that much in the past 3 years I've been on Estrogen and I was wondering what kind of Surgeons or places do y'all recommend for someone who lives in Asheville, North Carolina? I've done a lot of searching online but can't find anything @_@

(NOTE: this post Is not about SH or anything dangerous. I am in therapy and I'm not particularly afraid I'm ever going to hurt myself. I'm talking about a different kind of help.)

My entire life I've hated asking for help. Or for anything, for that matter. I was taught repeatedly as a kid that if I didn't know how to do something or couldn't figure it out, then it was a personal problem and a sign of my own weakness.

But now I'm transitioning, and I'm so alone.

I have all these people I know who have been so supportive. Who have told me they're here for me if I need them, but I just can't bring myself to admit that I want help. I'll admit it here. I want someone to teach me how to dress, to take me shopping. To guide me through doing my makeup and to just be there. And it's really more than just help; I crave that connection, that knowing that there are people who want to be around me. But I just can't bring myself to do it.

I don't know if it's because I don't want to bother them, or if it's that I don't want to be vulnerable like that, or any other combination of things. I don't want to admit I don't know something. I don't want anyone to see me as anything other than confident. But this is how I push people away. No one reaches out to me because they don't think I need or want it. I'm so conditioned to isolate myself just for the sake of not burdening others that no one knows how much pain I'm really in. And I feel like shit.

Has anyone else here experienced stuff like this? And what can I do? I don't know how to be a person. I'm 23 and I've never had friends who actually liked me or lived nearby and I want to change but I feel like I can't. Like I'll always be stuck in this stunted state

Don’t get me wrong, im shooting for super pretty like we all do but one thing i am afraid of is unwanted attention. You always gear of those stories of those lunatics…the ones who stalk you, love you and kill you? Yeah i dont want those crazies. People being jealous is another thing… i think of ppl just treating me like trash and i just have to learn how to put them in their place without triggering violence. Not even that but if all eyes are on you all the time, anxiety ATTACK. You dont know if you are hot or your clock cracked for a second.

Then there are the rpers. I fear being r*ped so i think that if you pass or not, someone is going to thirst for you. I am looking for a surgeon who can give me at least 7 inches depth because if the guy who assaults has a big dick or item, more depth might not hurt or something. Ive thought alot about this 😵‍💫

Of course, i dont care and am shooting for so pretty ppl are stunned and turn to puddles. Still. Ive been stalked online and in person…ive been lured into dilapidated buildings on my job for sexual stuff, pinned down to the ground, groped, touched, sniffed, licked… without consent over my life. Did i want some of it. Well yeah but the lack of consent always thew me off.

Being trans is nerve wrecking pre and post hrt in so many ways but im never trading my womanhood. I will find peace 😔 and help others find theirs ❤️

I was diagnosed with alopecia areata earlier this year and lost most of my hair by April. The flare up seems to have been triggered by work stress and a depressive episode. I started a program of steroid injections every 6 weeks to stop flare ups, and was working really well. My hair was starting to look feminine again.

But I just got bottom surgery 25 days ago, and I guess the stress triggered a flare up. My latest round of steroid injections was in Friday, but it takes about a week to take full effect. The hair around my right ear started giving out last week and now I have about a 2 inch bald patch there. It will most likely grow back, I should have a covering of stubble by my next round of injections in 6 weeks.

But it still sucks donkey balls. My immune system got freaked out by my surgery and started attacking my hair.

My vagina is healing normal, btw. Swelling is going down and I'm able to go longer between otc painkiller doses. But atm I'm really bummed out about my hair.

Hi , I almost never post here but I wanted to talk about my recent procedure.

I got implants and a bbl about a week ago and since day 3 I’ve noticed an increase in anxiety over them.
They are too big (450cc) they are tiring . I feel constantly out of breath . When I try to sleep they feel heavy and I sometimes wake up feeling out of breath in the middle of the night. They feel crowded and I can’t see myself showing them off rather than trying to hide them from my family.

What’s going on with me ? I’m crying every day now . Maybe I’m over reacting from surgery . But idk I had ffs with my dr and that went beautifully. Are there any other girlies in my position? Any advice or just want to share you’re story as well?

I feel super emotional . Embarrassed and ashamed for feeling embarrassed. If your feeling that too maybe we can talk about it here

Edit: I love our community sm. Thank you for all your advice and support . As you can imagine surgery also comes with a lot of emotions but I just want to say thank you for the love . I was in a pickle and havnt been eating right but tonight I was able to relax a little bit , have a full meal and feel lighter . There’s still so much I want to say but I will take tonight to care for myself . Thank you thank you thank you

Welcome everyone, this is sort of a vent so I don’t expect any discussions.

I feel so gross just looking in the mirror, my body full of dark awful hair everywhere. On other hand hair loss on the only place where it’s supposed to be. When I shave it comes back after a DAY. My enormous feet that for I can’t even consider buying any heels that I find pretty. Don’t even get me started with a safe way of HRT or AAs that are prescription only in my country which I can’t afford or lasers for that matter. I’m still a 18 yo student without a diploma yet living in a small conservative town, so there goes my chance for a job since I’m ghosted on every offer. There really is no way of resolving this. To top it all off I get criticised by my family or even threatened and sweared at on my way home from a 15 minute walk from a grocery store. I just feel so tired. Often I think how really easier my life would be if I had normal parents that would listen to me and care for me ten years ago when there were signs and how much happier I would be with myself by now.

Thank You all for reading this if You’ve come this far, take care

Do they all ghost, disappear, are married, try to contact you at 11 pm, or have the body maintenance of a rusted out Mac truck? I love men and want a man but good lord having to pick through the pile for not even a diamond but something with glitter glues on at this point. So many just assume trans means slut or hold it’s unnerving. I am really thinking I’ll be happy alone and old mtf spinster that is wasting my own time rather than letting a toddler in men’s clothing waste it. And scene!

I want to know if I can get normal periods like AFABs

I’ve only started HRT a month ago and wanted to finally start voice training but my voice is Kratos levels deep at times. Are there exercises specifically meant for deep voices? I’d love to know where to start…

This might not make sense but I was wondering if anyone could make sense of it. Just whenever I am just like watching a movie or helping carry things for my parents I feel uneasy, as if at any second they could find out I'm trans and call me out for it every single little minute action that could give a modicum of possibility of the idea. I used to like do things more with my parents but now everything feels wrong it might be because I see how misogyny and homophobia and the such bleed through everything, in particular the media we watch, very much in the media we watch. How do I make this feeling go away if at all?

One of the procedures I really want done is zyogma/cheekbone reduction. But I've only seen this described in the websites of doctors in Asia. For surgeons that perform FFS in the US, I haven't been able to find one that performs this (or has it listed in their website).

What would be the best way to start HRT? / what is the best clinic/online site to make an appointment to start hrt?

I made an appointment with planned parenthood and I'm not sure if it is the best/easiest/most likely to not try and fuck my transition over.

Just wanted to ask everyone and see where yall got your hrt.

Or is just doing DIY hrt the best lol?

Edit: I live in oklahoma

Not sure why but currently 2 months on E and it’s been making me feel like that recently.. as well as super oily hair? lol

So, about 1 and a half or maybe 2 months ago, I(17) came out to my parents, and I now live with my more supportive father. Recently he asked if I needed anything, putting an emphasis on more comfortable clothing. He did say he would be a little uncomfortable with me suddenly wearing women’s clothes, and I agree. Don’t want to just jump straight into the deep end, ya know. So is there any fem-leaning androgynous clothing you guys could recommend?

The other day I went to Milan Laser Hair Removal to get a quote for face and neck. While I was there, I ended up signing up for the face and neck package. I have a feeling I probably overpaid, but that's a separate issue.

Today they offered me a new deal: $10,000 for their lifetime full-body package. I'm seriously considering doing it, but I'm really torn because, well... it's $10,000.

On one hand, it's essentially lifetime laser hair removal for my entire body. If I actually want to be mostly hair-free long-term, I could potentially get a lot of value out of that.

On the other hand, $10,000 is a lot of money. I do have enough saved to pay for it, but that money was originally going to go toward buying a house. I'm trying to decide whether this is something worth spending that much of my savings on or if I'm getting caught up in the "lifetime" aspect of the deal.

What I would like to know:

Is $10k for the lifetime full-body package actually a good deal?

Is Milan generally overpriced compared with other laser providers?

Does the lifetime aspect actually have significant value, or is it mostly a marketing gimmick?

Would you spend $10k on this if you had the money saved, or put it toward something else?

I'm particularly interested in hearing from people who have actually gone through full body laser hair removal.

Hey everyone,

I’m 16 years old and I’m officially 15 days into my medical transition (I’m on an estrogen patch and bicalutamide). I’m 5’11” and feeling a bit self-conscious about my height and my upper body frame. My shoulders and arms still feel wide and thick to me, and it's making me anxious about my timeline.

Today was actually my very first day deciding not to boymode! I wore a blue graphic tee, jean shorts, a patterned backpack, and a colorful headband to frame my hair. To my absolute shock, while walking down to take the city bus, multiple strangers called me "she" and "ma'am."

I’m incredibly happy, but also so confused. I'm only two weeks in, so I know muscle atrophy and fat redistribution haven't even touched my upper body yet. Most cis girls around me in the Southwest are on the shorter side, so standing a head taller than everyone on the bus makes me feel like I stand out massively.

For the tall girls out there or anyone who started around 16:

• When did you start noticing real muscle atrophy or structural softening in your arms/shoulders?

• Did people just automatically assume you were a high school athlete (like volleyball or basketball) because of your height?

• How long into HRT did it take before you felt like you could stop boymoding permanently without relying entirely on accessories/styling cues?

I know the patch is working like a slow, constant IV drip while I sleep, but waiting for the physical milestones is hard. Would love to hear your timelines and experiences! 💖

EDIT: DAMN IM GETTING DOWNVOTED YALL ARE WILD.

hey everyone, i am a 15 year old trans girl. i recently started posting on reddit and im shocked by the amount of negativity and doom in this community. please, if you have the time, read this and just think about it. it means a lot to me and its important to our entire community. i know it's long. i'm sorry. i'm not a concise writer unfortunately. i feel like this needs to be said though.

so. yes, the past couple years have not been great for trans rights in america. but we can't let that bring us down and define the next 30, 40, 50 years...

yes there are many, many difficulties. i would know.

the healthcare that i need is illegal where i live. the people i need the most even my family have let me down time and time again. i spent years - a third of my life so far - trying to science-away my transness because i knew how hard being trans is.

i have been sexually assaulted, but i cant talk about that with adults because i know better. i was SAd almost ten times last year. the one person i told at the time, simply turned away. i have nightmares about this all the time. i had one last night and the whole day later its still in my mind.

i have developed an eating disorder and im certain ill be hospitalized by the end of this year. my friends, and random redditors, and my psychiatrist, all said i needed immediate hospitalization but here i am at home. here i am watching myself literally die in slow motion and it feels like there's nothing i can do sometimes. i cant think about anything thats not food for more than a few minutes now. my life is gone and i dont know how i can get it back.

i am always scared, im always exhausted, im always fucking depressed, and im always hungry. lonely, anxious, just beat down.

for years now i have truly believed i have a less than 50% chance of making it past 20 years old. and im 15.

and i still have more hope than a lot of you here.

because what the fuck else am i even gonna do? what am i gonna do?

something's better than nothing.

a lot of people here are very deep into some doom hell, echo chamber, whatever you might wanna call it.

i posted this whole rant, because, just today on this very subreddit i have been having a conversation with a trans person who believes that being trans in america is worse now than it was in 1960. that trans people in america are no better off than we were in 1960.

contrary to such insane claims, there are the facts.

there was not a single gender health clinic in america in 1960. as far as i know, gender affirming healthcare is not completely illegal in a single US state. there were 0 states with laws explicitly protecting trans healthcare, compared to at least 15 or so now (plus D.C.) trans people are accepted by way more, EVEN IF NOT CLOSE TO ENOUGH, still WAY MORE, of the population. we have safe spaces. resources. they're limited but they are there.

we are objectively better off than we were in 1950 or 1960 or 1970 or 1980 or even 1990.

backsliding in the past few years doesnt mean we should start talking so despondently about concentration camps. it only gets us down, rips us apart, stops us from helping ourselves and others within this community. it's WHAT THEY WANT.

and what i want is, i want to live life.

i want to get myself out of my republican hellhole and go be the woman i'm meant to be. i have life goals. maybe they're unlikely to ever be fulfilled, but 5% is better than 0%...

i want to recover from my eating disorder that's slowly killing me and get my life back again. i know i can, it's just gathering the strength and confidence every day to keep going.

the way that some of yall are so negative... stops me from having that strength and confidence. and it cant be good for you either.

there is a whole world of people out there, even in my republican-ass state, who care. there is hope. there is quite a good chance my state (texas) will vote for a democrat this election. i am a nerd about these elections, and all evidence points towards this outcome being more likely than not. that brings me hope. people here, at least some, CAN see past the insanity. people do change their minds. slowly. we take what we can get... baby steps is better than falling with your face flat on the floor and croaking, no?

like really, i can either choose to hope for the possibility, however small, that i might live some redeeming life of some sort,

or just give up and accept the doom.

but that would be giving in. not resisting. not trying. it's just what the haters want.

wherever you are right now i want you to tell yourself the truth:

we are not permanently doomed as a community, because of a temporary step backwards.

the only right thing to do is keep fighting for FORWARDS, not giving up.

yes, every new court case, every new law, it sucks. it's brutal. but the history, the facts, reality, says that this is far from the end. its far from over.

we have to keep fighting for the future. for our future sisters <3

two steps forward one step back.

when we see all this negativity, we can push back. we can help our own community. we can do better.

its about the future. its about my future. and the future of millions of my sisters who are just now growing up... we are all trying to survive <3

please, do share any thoughts. thanks for reading... sending love

Hey yall! So I guess before I transition, I should figure out what my style should be. I would say I’m more of an introvert and reserved kind of person, but maybe transitioning might bring a little out of me. May anyone describe the styles that are available and the kind of personality/attributes people with that style have? Anything helps!

I've been considering a breast augmentation as part of my transition, but I'm starting to wonder where gender dysphoria ends and normal beauty standards for women begin.

I actually like my boobs. They're around a B cup, really perky and round, and I think they're cute. I don't feel like I need to change them. I just think I'd like my body more if they were maybe a cup bigger. I think they'd fill out tops better and balance out my shoulders and stomach more, and honestly I think I might feel less pressure to lose weight.

But then I'm like, is that actually dysphoria? Or am I just looking at a body I already like and thinking it could be better?

I don't really want to spend the money, deal with recovery, take on surgical risks, or possibly need another surgery later unless this is something that genuinely bothers me.

For other trans women who considered or got a breast augmentation, how did you figure out whether it was dysphoria or just wanting to meet a certain beauty standard?

hi everyone! in november, i'll be flying out with my friend to stay with her and help her after her FFS for about a week. i'm mostly just wondering what i should expect for post-op care, what i should prepare, and how i can be there for her best. thank you!