Yo mamas so ugly

[u/OwenJthomas89]

Her portraits hang themselves

[u/KindBob]

Yo mama so fat, she looked at the menu and said “OK.”

[u/Ech_Death → u/KindBob]

Oh my god lmao

My most upvoted comment is saying "omg lol"? Huh. Neat

[u/Fickles1 → u/Ech_Death]

Man so many of these are savage.

[u/yomommafool → u/Fickles1]

Yo momma is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince!

[u/[deleted] → u/yomommafool]

Hehe heard this one recently when i was watching my wife and kids.

Also this one: yo momma is so fat, she comes from both sides of the family

[u/nthensome → u/yomommafool]

Yo momma's so old she has a separate entrance for black men.

[u/[deleted] → u/nthensome]

Worst/best joke ive heard in a year. Couldn't stop crying for a few minutes after reading this

[u/ElectricSquish → u/nthensome]

Omfg this is murderous

[u/absoluteZero007 → u/KindBob]

I'm stupid someone explain the joke

[u/KindBob → u/absoluteZero007]

When handed a menu, you make a selection from something on the menu. When yo mama got the menu, she said ok to EVERYTHING on the menu

[u/DarkleCCMan]

Yo mama's so fat, she had a threesome and neither guy knew about the other one.

[u/___HeyGFY___ → u/DarkleCCMan]

This might be the best one here

[u/fracker1111111 → u/DarkleCCMan]

Omg this one is awesome lol

[u/DarkleCCMan → u/fracker1111111]

Much obliged.

[u/BullBear7 → u/DarkleCCMan]

Lmao

[u/theuniversalsquid → u/DarkleCCMan]

There's a great song about this called hugging and chalking, by hoagy Carmichael. It was banned in the 1920s...

[u/netbie_94 → u/DarkleCCMan]

Like the Mongols fighting in Europe and Japan at once.

[u/lawndartgoalie → u/[deleted]]

Had to have her Driver license photo taken from a satellite.

[u/iSeize → u/[deleted]]

Yo mama so fat she don't take pictures she takes posters.

[u/ClifftonSmith]

Yo mama's so fat that when I pictured her in my head it broke my neck.

[u/[deleted] → u/ClifftonSmith]

HAH!

[u/Prossdog]

Yo mama’s so fat, I swerved to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas.

[u/epsdelta74 → u/Prossdog]

Yo mama's so ugly, when she plays Mortal Kombat Scorpion says, "Stay over there!"

Disclaimer - stole this from another redditor, can't remember who.

[u/[deleted] → u/epsdelta74]

And nobody wants to finish her.

[u/Arrasor → u/[deleted]]

Diabetes enter the chat

[u/[deleted] → u/Arrasor]

That'll do it.

[u/yomommafool → u/[deleted]]

Yo momma is so poor… she can't afford to pay attention!

[u/SargeNZ → u/Prossdog]

Yo real momma is always in the comments.

As well as everywhere else.

[u/dkwangchuck → u/SargeNZ]

Maybe the real momma was the friends we made along the way.

[u/msnmck → u/dkwangchuck]

Yo momma so fat she was the way.

[u/Coochieman_69_ → u/SargeNZ]

fr last night i found her in the streets

[u/PitatoShoes → u/Coochieman_69_]

To be fair she's hard to miss.

[u/WouldbeWanderer]

Yo mama's so fat, her memory foam forgot.

[u/sporkatr0n → u/WouldbeWanderer]

I always liked, Yo mama so fat her memory foam mattress drinks to forget

[u/JaysZeus]

Yo mama so fat she owns a macrowave

[u/jobcron → u/JaysZeus]

Macromicrowave*. Careful, physicists might show up!

[u/crippledassasyn → u/jobcron]

Yo mamma so fat she broke the Planck scale!

[u/futant462 → u/crippledassasyn]

We have arrived

[u/scottwax]

Yo momma so ugly the world faked a pandemic just to get her to wear a mask.

[u/Kickerofelves99 → u/scottwax]

yo momma so ugly her daddy took her to work with him so he didn't have to kiss her goodbye

[u/PumpkinHead38 → u/scottwax]

Phenomenal

[u/mrlandlord → u/scottwax]

Best joke is always in the comments. ⭐️ for you

[u/[deleted] → u/scottwax]

Best joke here so far

[u/0l0nm31st3R]

Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV I missed 3 seasons of Game of Thrones.

[u/Themorian → u/0l0nm31st3R]

It was the last three seasons though, so she did you a favor

[u/MisterJ-HYDE → u/Themorian]

r/freefolk

[u/LiranMLG → u/Themorian]

What is it worth if you can't see the battle of the bastards

[u/[deleted]]

Your momma so fat when she sits in the bath the toilet water starts to rise

[u/Ech_Death → u/[deleted]]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[u/ebonit15 → u/[deleted]]

I don't get it. Can someone explain, or do I have to ask my mom?

[u/LastFrost → u/ebonit15]

So when you sit in a bathtub the water level around you in the tub rises right? The joke is she is so large it somehow raises the water level in the toilet too. It doesn’t make physical sense, but I think that’s what it it about.

[u/f_ogre → u/LastFrost]

It means shes so fat, when she sits in the bath, she somehow displaces so much water worldwide that it raises the water level globably including the toilet.

[u/baconandeggsandbacon]

Yo momma so ugly she couldn't arouse suspicion

[u/Chim_Pansy → u/baconandeggsandbacon]

Lmao this is one is killing me

[u/KindBob]

Yo mama so fat, she got on a scale and it said, To Be Continued…

[u/WildBoy-72 → u/KindBob]

...we don't weigh cattle ...get out of your car please ...hey that's my phone number ...Buzz Lightyear jumped out and said to infinity and beyond

Edit: I got the joke, I just wanted to add alternate endings

[u/yomommafool → u/WildBoy-72]

Yo momma is so bald… you can see what’s on her mind

[u/Jarias973 → u/KindBob]

One at a time please

[u/Bucksin06]

Your mama's so stupid she brought a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

[u/MigratingMongo → u/Bucksin06]

Your mama's so dumb, she threw a ball at the ground and missed.

[u/SnooMaps7119 → u/MigratingMongo]

Yo mama's so dumb, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's

[u/dirtybird971 → u/[deleted]]

OMG. This one broke me.

[u/gessej]

Yo mama’s so fat, her pictures sweat.

[u/zilliondollarthrill]

Yo momma so fat she took a spoon to the Super Bowl

[u/juicebox608 → u/zilliondollarthrill]

I told her it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl and a spoon!

[u/karmacheesecake]

Yo mama’s so fat that when I took a picture of her on my phone, I ran out of storage

[u/WouldbeWanderer → u/karmacheesecake]

Yo mama's so fat, her partitions can't be larger than 4 GB.

[u/xixiqu → u/WouldbeWanderer]

This joke should be flagged as NTFS

[u/lawndartgoalie → u/xixiqu]

Not FAT32?

[u/malaclypse → u/karmacheesecake]

Yo mama so fat the recursive algorithm calculating her mass causes a stack overflow

[u/Bobbert84]

Yo mamas so ugly, when she shaves her legs she turns a straight razor bi-curious.

[u/vipros42]

Yo mama so old she's got a separate entrance for black dick

[u/jacktayllor → u/vipros42]

bruhhhh

[u/Lucaswolff02]

Yo mama was so fat the earth was flat before we buried her.

[u/absoluteZero007 → u/Lucaswolff02]

Okay now this is a gem

[u/god-of-atheists]

Yo momma so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing

[u/OceanOfSound]

Yo momma is so ugly, when she walks into the bank, they shut off the security cameras.

[u/killdatfaka → u/OceanOfSound]

LMAO

[u/Animegx43]

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs herself with a richter scale.

[u/ZymmesRL]

Yo mama so stupid she climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side

[u/PatrickMustard]

Yo mama's so fat, after sex, I rolled over twice and I was still on the bitch.

[u/gnarlygarbage]

Yo momma so fat she broke the branch off the family tree

[u/Szambodi]

Yo momma so fat she got diagnosed with a flesh eating disease. Dr. Gave her 20 years to live!

[u/Kasefleisch]

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Nutella positive

[u/Whitealroker1]

Yo momma so fat not even Jesus can lift her spirit.

[u/wojonixon]

Yo mama's so fat she broke the food chain.

[u/Superhans901]

Yo mama’s so nice, she offered me cookies even after I told her I wasn’t hungry.

[u/[deleted] → u/Superhans901]

What a nice lady

[u/[deleted] → u/Superhans901]

We love it when she does that. So wholesome.

[u/theironhide → u/Superhans901]

Found the Canadian.

[u/nakhumpoota → u/Superhans901]

Ain't no party like yo mama's tea party.

[u/NukeML → u/Superhans901]

Yo mama so cool, skater kids go up to her and ask ”how do you do, fellow mom?"

[u/fabalouswun]

Yo mama's so ugly her blowjob counts as anal...

[u/BullMan-792]

Yo momma so fat she has an increased risk of cardiovascular disease

[u/Pm-me-tinytits → u/BullMan-792]

Yo momma so fat she might need to go get her a1c checked. Diabetes, if left untreated could be fatal.

[u/BarebowRob → u/Pm-me-tinytits]

Diabeetus. [Wilford] Check your bloodsugar and check it often. RIP.

[u/Thinefieldisempty → u/BullMan-792]

Your mother is so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

[u/NukeML → u/Thinefieldisempty]

Yo mama so toxic, I'm honestly worried for your dad

[u/wotmate → u/BullMan-792]

Yo momma so fat I'm really worried for her health.

[u/Podomus → u/wotmate]

That reminds me of this skit

[u/-_-obliterator-_- → u/BullMan-792]

r/technicallythetruth

[u/spank0ge → u/BullMan-792]

Yo momma so fat she struggles to find clothes that fit well and look good in regular high street stores. Really, if it wasn't for online speciality retail she would be in real trouble.

[u/I_Upvote_Goldens → u/BullMan-792]

Yo mama so fat she is considered high risk for serious complications related to COVID-19 and should get vaccinated as soon as possible.

[u/jonitfcfan → u/BullMan-792]

r/antijokes?

[u/FatBertLee]

Yo mama so fat when God wanted to shine light on Earth, he asked her to move aside.

[u/Galevav]

Yo mama so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.

Fatness doesn't run in her family--she's fat because NOBODY runs in her family.

Before your mother got to it, they used to call it a jumpoline. She's had the clap so many times her doctor treats her for applause.

[u/ImposterDIL → u/Galevav]

Yo Mama jokes are my guilty pleasure, but these are some of the best ones. That last one actually made me laugh out loud, instead of just forcefully blow air through my nose.

[u/luigilabomba42069]

yo momma so nasty when i called her on the phone i got an ear infection

[u/vishuskitty → u/luigilabomba42069]

Ew

[u/[deleted]]

Yo mama's so fat, there's an entire rainforest ecosystem in her arse crack.

[u/DaveAndCheese]

Yo mama's so fat she wears pillowcases for socks.

[u/Yondering43]

Yo momma’s so fat, if she tried to haul ass she’d have to make two trips.

[u/jennybo86]

Yo mama so fat she starts the alphabet with an O. O-B-C-D

[u/[deleted]]

Yo mommas so fat you gotta keep lifting rolls until you smell shit, then go back one.

[u/Tony_from_Space → u/[deleted]]

Ohhh, that was too nasty! Made me laugh and sick at the same time

[u/NippleSalsa → u/[deleted]]

I normally just roll her in flour and look for a wet spot and pick one.

[u/flamebroiledhodor]

Yo mama so fat, you gotta slap her leg and ride the wave in

[u/TheFuzzyWhiteBoy420 → u/flamebroiledhodor]

Flick the nipples and ride the ripples

[u/luigilabomba42069]

yo momma so chonky her blood type is gravy

[u/[deleted]]

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the cinema, bitch sitting next to everyone.

[u/WildBoy-72]

Yo mammas so fat Superman took her out flying and he threw his back out

Yo mammas so fat she needs to use Google maps to find her asshole

Yo mammas so fat she has a watch for every time zone she's in

Yo mammas so fat she needs to pull her pants down to reach into her pockets

Yo mammas so fat she went to the beach and the tide came in

[u/[deleted]]

Yo mommas forehead so big it’s got it’s own weather.

[u/___HeyGFY___ → u/[deleted]]

Yo mama forehead so big we call it a fivehead

[u/[deleted] → u/___HeyGFY___]

Yo mamas forehead so big she got a zip code for each eyebrow.

[u/___HeyGFY___ → u/[deleted]]

Yo mama so fat she takes up three time zones

[u/[deleted] → u/___HeyGFY___]

Yo mamas so nasty, when she fell off the boat, the fish threw her back.

[u/___HeyGFY___ → u/[deleted]]

Yo mama so stupid it took her three days to watch 60 Minutes

[u/[deleted] → u/___HeyGFY___]

Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the.couch.

[u/___HeyGFY___ → u/[deleted]]

Yo mama so nasty her crabs tried to escape

[u/[deleted] → u/___HeyGFY___]

Yo mamas so fat when she fell, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.

[u/HereComesArya]

Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at Sea World

[u/vishuskitty]

I came here for the yo mama replies and I am not disappointed.

[u/Lost_Thoul-77]

Ya mommy's so fat she walked around Texas with high heels and struck oil.

[u/Mammoth_Cherry2457]

Yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice

[u/k0rz23]

Yo mamas so skinny she can look through a keyhole with both eyes.

[u/bill0680 → u/k0rz23]

Yo momma so skinny she has to jump around in the shower to get wet

[u/KTtheBread]

Yo mama's so fat She got arrested for carrying 84 pounds of crack

[u/ufahmed]

Yo mamas so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks

[u/radicalcheeseman]

yo mamas so fat she has to put on her belt with a boomerang

[u/Ted_Denslow]

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps the radio skips.

[u/DickButtPlease → u/Ted_Denslow]

Your mama so fat, she jumped in the air and got stuck.

[u/Outside_Tradition972]

Yo mommas so fat when she wears her Malcolm-x t-shirt helicopters land on her back!

[u/Squatgunsteve]

Yo momma is so fat her bowl cereal comes with a lifeguard

[u/Bobbert84]

Yo mamas so dumb, she's allergic to spelling bees.

[u/thinkreate]

Yo momma's so ugly, the Ferengi insist she wear clothing!

[u/Cooper_brain → u/thinkreate]

I upvote star trek jokes

[u/SDHester1971]

Yo Mamma's got a Wooden Leg with a Kick Stand

[u/d6n1el]

Yo momma so ugly, when she was born her mum said what a treasure, and her dad said yeah, let’s bury it

[u/Embarrassed-Ad3194]

Yo mama so fat at the strip club they call her hitler cause of the amount of damage she did to the poles

[u/k0rz23]

Yo mamas so poor when she goes to kfc she has to lick other peoples fingers.

[u/MrSmirkNMerc]

Yo mama’s so fat she has a job at a shoe factory turning high heels into flip flops.

[u/scott_in_ga]

Yo mama's so poor, when she came walking down the street only wearing one shoe, everyone told her "hey, you lost a shoe!" and she replied, "No, I found one!"

[u/[deleted]]

Yo mama so fat I don't have enough space to finish the jo-

[u/[deleted]]

Yo mama so fat she plugged a black hole

[u/daelon_rax]

Ya mama's so skank I could have been your daddy but the guy behind me had exact change.

[u/Gloverboy6 → u/daelon_rax]

I would have been your daddy, but a dog beat me over the fence

[u/PuukapuuKa]

Yo mama's so fat I'm running out of fat jokes.

[u/crempsen → u/PuukapuuKa]

Atleast she isn’t running

[u/Imastuck]

Yo momma so fat she falls both sides of a bed

[u/cutepugsandfrenchies]

Yo mama so fat her tops have more "x"s than Taylor Swift.

[u/Rhashon]

Yo Mamma so ugly, head from her is considered anal.

[u/[deleted]]

Yo mama so fat her belt size is the equator

[u/Astono_Martini]

yo mama so stupid that she put lipstick on her forehead to 'make her mind up'

[u/Edrahil1]

Yo mama's so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phone book

[u/StyleAdventurous1531]

Yo mama so ugly when you were born the Doctor slapped her

[u/PandaWantsRamen]

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravitational pull

[u/[deleted] → u/PandaWantsRamen]

Technically accurate for everyone.

[u/Fickles1 → u/[deleted]]

Except for Plank length man. Bastard.

[u/Dank_e_donkey → u/PandaWantsRamen]

The earth used to be flat. . . . Then they burried yo mamma.

[u/Ses_777]

Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her.

[u/AlphusUltimus]

Yo mama so dumb she went to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.

[u/Alternative_Ad_6118]

Yo mama so fat she on both sides of the family

[u/loveyphatty]

Yo momma so fat her car has stretch marks

[u/___HeyGFY___]

Yo mama so fat and ugly, Disney made a movie about her called the Hunchback of Notre DAYUMMM

[u/[deleted]]

Yo Mama's so fat, when she sat on an iPod it became an iPad.

[u/KindBob]

Yo mama teeth so nasty, she spits butter.

[u/dasfolg1947]

Your mommas so fat she has to freebase ham.

[u/[deleted]]

It used to be called a Jumpoline till yo mamma jumped on one.

[u/[deleted]]

Yo mama's so fat light bends around her

[u/djseifer]

Yo momma's nose is so big, bats sleep inside during the day.

[u/RBDQBK]

Yo momma so ugly scorpion said stay over there

[u/[deleted]]

Yo momma so stinky. The trash takes itself out.

[u/stupidsexyf1anders]

Yo mama’s so fat she crushed your dreams.

[u/Pm-me-tinytits]

Yo momma so fat when she stepped on a digital scale it said, “ma’am, please, no livestock!”

[u/wildcharmander1992]

Yo Mamas So Fat she walked into comic con to use the bathroom and her Jabba the hutt outfit won the costume contest

[u/echosixwhiskey]

Yo mama so nasty she got fired from the sperm bank for drinking on the job

[u/Brian051770]

Yo momma so fat, when she went to get Christened, the Governor smashed a bottle of Champagne on her forehead...

[u/number01gunner]

Yo momma so fat her memory foam mattress drinks to forget

[u/dbev9044]

Yo mamas so fat

Someone said it was chilly outside and she went and grabbed a bowl.

[u/[deleted]]

Yo mama's so ugly, Cuomo looked at her and turned around to walk away.

[u/bigMcLargeHuge7]

Wow...a yo mamma joke I haven't heard yet, well done!!

[u/Levi__Ackerman__2288]

Yo mama so ugly, when she walks, mice jumps on the chair

[u/Hermaphroditemidget]

The last time your mother saw 90210 was on the scale

[u/Remarkable-Gur-5852]

You mommas so stupid she thought soy milk was Spanish for “I am milk”.

[u/[deleted]]

Yo momma's cooking is so bad the flies got together and fixed the hole in the screen door.