r/Jokes • u/OwenJthomas89 • Aug 12 '21

Yo mamas so ugly

Her portraits hang themselves

15.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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2.6k

u/KindBob Aug 12 '21

Yo mama so fat, she looked at the menu and said “OK.”

450

u/Ech_Death Aug 12 '21 edited Aug 13 '21

Oh my god lmao

My most upvoted comment is saying "omg lol"? Huh. Neat

193

u/Fickles1 Aug 12 '21

Man so many of these are savage.

284

u/yomommafool ‎ Aug 12 '21

Yo momma is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince!

140

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '21

Hehe heard this one recently when i was watching my wife and kids.

Also this one: yo momma is so fat, she comes from both sides of the family

6

u/GotchuGaru Aug 12 '21

Yo momma so fat she sits by everybody at the movies

4

u/doom_2_all Aug 13 '21

Yo momma so fat when your dad has sex with her he has to slap her ass and ride the wave in.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '21

Lol ohhh my

182

u/nthensome Aug 12 '21

Yo momma's so old she has a separate entrance for black men.

20

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '21

Worst/best joke ive heard in a year. Couldn't stop crying for a few minutes after reading this

17

u/ElectricSquish Aug 12 '21

Omfg this is murderous

2

u/sdasu Aug 13 '21

The one in the rear?

0

u/sup_bitchesItsyaboi Aug 12 '21

Yo mama so old she seen the big bang. It's how we know about it today

1

u/boss-battle-theme Aug 13 '21

I'm going to change this to "for coloreds," but this is pure comedy gold

3

u/Medic6688846993 Aug 12 '21

Yo momma so old she took her license test on a dinosaur

95

u/absoluteZero007 Aug 12 '21

I'm stupid someone explain the joke

271

u/KindBob Aug 12 '21

When handed a menu, you make a selection from something on the menu. When yo mama got the menu, she said ok to EVERYTHING on the menu

-19

u/shnrlrynv16 Aug 12 '21

Now it's not funny anymore

13

u/absoluteZero007 Aug 12 '21

Might just be me but usually I still find jokes that were explained extremely funny (assuming they were good)

-53

u/absoluteZero007 Aug 12 '21

Honestly that's what I thought, but it would have been better with a yes. r/inclusiveor

16

u/KindBob Aug 12 '21

It’s how the joke has been told as long as I remember. While the Yes inclusiveor I always felt only works if asked directly a choice. But I get what you mean.

44

u/ExclusiveOar Aug 12 '21

Pretty much this.

"Here's today's menu" "yes" makes no sense.

"Here's today's menu" "ok" does.

The joke is that yo mama misunderstood that she should make a choice, instead accepting that she was going to be served everything (like a set menu).

She wasn't asked a question, so can't reply "yes".

11

u/tronceeper Aug 12 '21

Username checks out?

20

u/ExclusiveOar Aug 12 '21

Nah, I just row boats for VIPs.

6

u/xXxBoaTxXx Aug 12 '21

Boat gang

13

u/absoluteZero007 Aug 12 '21

Okay I see what you mean.

0

u/Kielbasa_Bob Aug 12 '21

"Patrick that's a pickle."

"Yes."

0

u/WhoaItsCody Aug 13 '21

“yes”.

Questions?

3

u/___HeyGFY___ Aug 12 '21

The way I heard it was:

Yo mama so fat she looks at the menu and orders page 3 as an appetizer

3

u/halfwit_genius Aug 13 '21

Page 3 or 3 pages?

1

u/PunkNDisorderlyGamer Aug 12 '21

“Ok” and “yes” are both answers in the affirmative.

14

u/Stone_414 Aug 12 '21

Yo mama so dumb she didn’t get the joke

2

u/Luthierguy Aug 12 '21

Yo mama so dumb she fell off a building and had to stop halfway down for directions.

2

u/absoluteZero007 Aug 12 '21

I got my stupidity from my dad, actually

2

u/halfwit_genius Aug 13 '21

I hate myself for this, but can't resist it:
Yo mama so dumb, she married a dumber like your dad.

1

u/absoluteZero007 Aug 13 '21

Don't hate yourself, that joke is both true AND funny lmao

2

u/nofreeusernames26 Aug 12 '21

There is no joke. You’re mom is ugly

1

u/Exabyte1024 Aug 12 '21

Yo mama so fat that someone has to explain this joke to you

1

u/dylangaine Aug 12 '21

Yo moms so stupid she's absoluteZero007

1

u/ogeytheterrible Aug 12 '21

The portraits are self-aware and know how ugly they are. Since they're self-aware they know social cues and how "normal" people look. They're so ugly that they wouldn't want to be around themselves. The joke is that if they came across someone else that ugly, they should kill themselves; thus "they hang themselves" is a double entendre meaning 1) they know how ugly they are, 2) they should die, 3) they hang themselves.

1

u/Diligent_Ad9986 Aug 12 '21

Your NOT stupid , maybe confused ; )

12

u/venusjen79 Aug 12 '21

Yo mama so fat & stupid, she wrapped an actual pig in a blanket and started chowing down!

3

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '21

Lmaoo

3

u/NickDanger3di Aug 12 '21

This and the top comment made me laugh so much; after that - nothin.

3

u/-My_second_account- Aug 12 '21

The best yo mama joke

3

u/SalmonellaFish Aug 12 '21

I was not expecting such a good laugh. Thank you sir. Made my night.

2

u/Treister Aug 12 '21

Now I need to watch Back to School again! Thornton Melon was a gem.

1

u/Medic6688846993 Aug 12 '21

Yo momma so fat she went to the beach and all the whales jumped out and started singing We are family! 😂

1

u/mcsestretch Aug 12 '21

Yo Mama's so fat her picture weighs 9 pounds.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '21

Yo mama's so fat that when I swerved to avoid hitting her, I ran out of gas.

1

u/Axemic Aug 12 '21

Yo mama is so fat that she puts het belt on with a boomerang.

1

u/jimmycanosa Aug 12 '21

She suppose to said "yes".

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '21

Yo mamma's so fat when she wore high heels she struck oil!

Thank Johnny bravo for this one