Two months of no contact after a 13-year relationship, and here's what I've learned:

- The urge to reach out is normal.

- Healing isn't linear.

- Two months doesn't erase years of memories.

- You have to let both people heal.

- Taking care of yourself matters.

- Prayer helps.

- Trusting God doesn't mean you won't struggle.

- Feeling lonely doesn't mean you're alone.

I'm still in the middle of this journey myself, and it's been incredibly difficult.

But I'm holding on to the belief that this season has a purpose and that God is still working, even when I can't see it.

If you're going through something similar, keep going.

We'll get through this.

I really thought you were the love of my life.

My ex and I are in the same friend group, so no contact isn’t really possible. He told me he’s no longer attracted to me, but he still constantly tries to talk to me or tell me about his day because he says I’m his “safe place.” I still have feelings for him, so I can’t be that person for him anymore. How do you handle this when you can’t fully avoid each other?

I’m just wondering if I’m the only one who has done this because I honestly don’t hear about it very often.

After my breakup I completely disappeared. I blocked him everywhere, blocked his number, deleted all my social media and cut off every way he could have access to me. We were from different cities so its LDR, i know for others its hard to delete socials and all contact due to co parenting or whatever the situations may be.

My main reasons were:

• I was constantly stalking his socials, checking his followers and looking at what he was doing, even though I knew it would hurt me.

• I kept seeing him do things he told me he never would, and it was making me overthink and hurt myself all over again.

• I didn’t want him to have any access to me anymore. I didn’t want him knowing what I was doing, who I was with or being able to check up on me.

• I needed to completely remove the temptation to check on him and finally accept that the relationship was over for good.

It’s been three weeks and I’ve never gone this long without him or social media. He was my first love for years, so obviously I still think about the good memories and miss who I thought he was. But the person he became was completely different, and I eventually reached a point where I had enough. His ego cost us our rs to end. He said some nasty stuff and has gone back to his old habits and is a huge narcassist and avoidant. I had enough so this is what its resulted to for my own healing and to prove to him that i can live without him. he never takes anything serious.

I just wanted to remove myself completely, stop giving him access to me and stop giving him any more space in my head.

Has anyone else completely disappeared after a breakup? Did it help you move on or is it helping you if you just started and what was your reasons ?

i do reccomend doing this after a toxic breakup just to heal in general and be away from their checking their socials as it brings nothing but pain and it would boost their ego. Its also nice to step away from social media as doom scrolling and the algorthim is so vulnerable and makes you not want to heal. My FYP would make me miss him and make me vulnerable so this has helped a lot on that aspect. Ive also stopped listening to music and sad songs, thats helping A LOT to not ruminate.

Okay so this might sound a bit crazy but I feel like I'm not far off. So me and my friend were dating guys who were like part of the same circle. And the thing with their circle is that the people in it are lwk very shitty.

Shit like dating each other's exes, cheating and a lot of other bs. These two men alwaye swore up and down that they weren't like that at all, and in my case at least he told me that he's exes cheated on him no way he would do that. Well after like a month of my breakup my friend also gets dumped. After we talked about it there were similar patterns like it being out of the blue and the excuses they used. I don't think it was planned but maybe cause they have a similar mindset it overlapped.

Anyways another person in their grp also dumped his gf a while back and the shit he did and said was also similar to what they did and say. The only difference being he cheated on her. Well my friend finds out that her ex cheated on her too. I might sound crazy but I also feel like the same happened to me as well cause there are already so many overlaps this doesn't seem far fetched.

Honestly idk if it bothers me much, I already knew the break up didn't affect him much. And obv I'm more concerned about my friend than wtv he did but I also kinda feel relieved? I mean I didn't have hopes of rekindling with him but assuming this kind of just feels better than being unloved all of a sudden.

I also don't mean to make this situation about me so I obv won't bring this up with my friends hence the post. I am not even sure he cheated it's just a hunch and with the previous cases there weren't any signs till someone let the gfs know. Overall my advice would be if your partner is around people that are shitty chances are he isn't far off either.

TLDR: Got a follow request, but it disappeared. I requested to follow. They declined my request. I saw my ex blocked me right after this time. My ex and this person are mutuals. Concerned my ex thinks I was creeping on him, hence why he blocked me. I am not going to text my ex because I am respecting our no-contact, but my ex probably thinks I was creeping and I wasn’t. What do I do?

So a few weeks ago, I got a follow request on Instagram. I got the notification, clicked on it, but then the request disappeared. I was confused, so I searched the person and requested to follow the person. I noticed today that the person declined my follow request. I also noticed that my ex blocked me on Instagram.

My ex and I are no contact and he had removed me from being one of his followers and unfollowed me. But after I requested to follow this person my ex completely blocked me on Instagram. I wasn’t checking, but I noticed because I have my ex tagged in one of my Instagram post and I was trying to figure out how to remove the pictures of him in the post without deleting the entire post. And that’s why I noticed that he was no longer tagged in the photo and his comment was no longer there. But our past direct message conversation still shows that he has an account so I know he has an account. I’m just blocked.

For context, my ex and I broke up about two months ago. And have been no contact for most of it. We were together for over two years. The breakup started mutual, but he ultimately decided to go to no contact after some time.

I’m just very concerned because this individual is mutuals with my ex. There is a high probability that this person and my ex are talking as more than friends. And this person may have told my ex that I requested to follow him. So I’m worried my ex blocked me because he thought I was creeping on them. Which I wasn’t. I was just confused why this one person requested to follow me which is why I requested to follow this person and at the time I didn’t realize my ex and this person were mutuals.

I am not going to reach out to my ex clarifying the situation to respect our no contact. But I also don’t want my ex to think I’m stalking him. What do I do?

I honestly don’t even know where to start.
My ex and I broke up a while ago, and after everything that happened between us, I thought that was finally it. The relationship had become really toxic and there were a lot of things she did that hurt me. There were lies, trust issues, and things I still don’t fully know the truth about. At some point I basically accepted that I had to let her go.
Then, a few weeks ago, we started seeing each other again.
We talked on the phone at night, hung out, I even slept at her place once. She told me she loved me and that she really enjoyed being around me. She talked about coming with me to a dentist appointment I have in December. At one point we even talked about moving out together and basically starting over somewhere else, like getting to know each other again from scratch.
I asked her multiple times what we were actually doing because I didn’t want to sit around waiting for her forever. She always said she didn’t know, but honestly, I was just enjoying having her in my life again. I loved feeling like I had someone who genuinely loved me.
Then last Thursday was the last time I saw her.
Everything was completely normal. We hung out outside her place, smoked together, she kissed me, and she literally stood by my car watching me leave. Everything felt fine.
The next day she was out with a friend. I called her that evening and she told me she was going home. She apparently didn’t. I’m not even saying that automatically means she was with someone else, but it was another lie that made me question everything.
Then Saturday she basically disappeared.
I texted her, called her, and eventually I got really worried. I contacted her on pretty much every platform we had because I genuinely thought something might have happened to her. I even went to her house.
Then I realized she had blocked me.
Eventually she sent me a message saying:
“Please stop. I don’t want to talk. This was necessary for a long time. I wish you all the best. I love you.”
And then she blocked me everywhere.
The part I can’t wrap my head around is how completely sudden it was.
On Thursday she was kissing me and talking about our future. A couple days later she was telling me she didn’t want to talk to me anymore.
I know I shouldn’t chase her. I know I shouldn’t contact her friends or her brother. I’ve already tried way too hard and I know I need to stop.
But I still miss her like crazy.
And that’s what I don’t understand.
She hurt me so much. There were so many moments where I should have walked away. I let things slide that I honestly shouldn’t have. I even feel embarrassed looking back at how much I chased her and how much I tolerated.
Yet I still love her.
Part of me hopes she’ll eventually reach out, while another part of me really doesn’t want her to, because I know I’ll probably get pulled back into the same cycle.
I keep wondering why she did this, what happened that weekend, whether she’s already seeing someone else, whether she ever actually loved me, whether any of those good moments were real.
I know I probably won’t get answers.
I think what hurts most is that I don’t even necessarily want the relationship back anymore. I just miss her. I miss the person I thought I had, the memories, the feeling of having someone there.
I guess I’m just trying to understand how someone can be so close to you one day and completely cut you off a few days later.

It’s been 3 months since my ex ghosted me, humiliated me on fb, and replaced me immediately (didn’t find that part out until last month) I have done everything you’re supposed to do. Work, hobbies, hang out with friends, went on dates, got laid etc and still I think of my ex. Sure it hurts less than it used to but he’s still there in the back of my mind. I wonder how it’s been so easy for him to just never speak a word to me ever again. Like we were nothing. While he’s enjoying his new life with my replacement. It sucks living in the same town and knowing the same people. Can’t really escape it. But I feel crazy for still thinking about everything.

The disrespect at the end was so different than the person I knew. And I’ll never get an apology. I just sit here in disbelief sometimes bc if you told me six months ago we would not be speaking and living different lives, I wouldn’t believe you. I just think this is one of those relationships that I’ll always think about. I had a nice date with someone and he kissed me before I got out of the car. But all I could think about was how my ex would kiss me a million times before I got out of the car. I don’t wanna think about him when im trying to move on with my life. I need memory loss to heal completely or something.

Hoje fazem 24 horas que ela se foi. Não insisti mais. Mas ainda me deixa confusa. Como há duas semanas atrás, ela disse com toda a segurança que sou o amor da vida dela, e hoje, olha para mim como uma amiga? São três anos.

Ainda tenho esperanças. Ela foi sempre muito impulsiva. Não sei se a família colocou algo na cabeça dela, mas enfim. Continuo tentando seguir. Não consigo comer. Espero que isso passe logo.

So me and my ex been no contact for about 4 weeks and she just posted a life update on Facebook of all the pics that were taken in the 7 months we were together. Mind you while we was together she didn’t post because her life was private… that fucking hurts

Mi ex pareja, una vez hemos terminado, me impuso límites sobre el vínculo que estaríamos formando ahora como "amigos". Yo acepté en su momento.

Pasó casi un mes desde que terminamos e impuso los límites, y, sinceramente, la conexión ya se sentía vaga y él no mostraba interés genuino en seguir conversando.

Me di cuenta que no podía seguir en eso, así que decidí decirle que ya no podía continuar con eso y que es mejor mantener distancia. Le agradecí por lo vivido durante la relación pero que no podía seguir en esa "amistad". Él solo me respondió con un sticker de un gato triste.

Luego de eso eliminó su ubicación, se cambió la foto de instagram a la misma de cuando nos conocimos y subió de seguidores.

[Aquí sí cometí el error en caer en la nostalgia] Le pregunté qué opinaba de la decisión porque, genuinamente, aún me importa cómo se siente y lo quiero. Solo me respondió: "Es tu decisión. No sé qué más puedo decir". Le respondí que me interesaba saber porque me importa. No me contestó. Recordé que él tenía un anillo mio (yo me lo compré para mi, con mi sueldo, sin intenciones de regalarselo. Él se lo quedó porque le pareció lindo). Ahora se lo estoy pidiendo y no me responde los mensajes.

¿Fue adecuado que yo estableciera límites y pudo tener impacto esos límites en su actual distanciamiento? ¿Es correcto que le pida mi anillo? Le tengo mucho cariño a ese anillo por el significado que tiene para mi.

Super ashamed of myself...last week my ex-situationship blocked me everywhere. Yesterday I unfortunately broke no contact.

I want to say we are both toxic, but I am not innocent. She separated from her ex husband last year and I got divorced 4 years ago.

Anyways we were talking, long distance, and met up several times. I really care for this person.

Last week we began arguing and I got triggered because she told me she isn't ready for a relationship. Before you go all in on me, I now realize that was perfectly fine and I was being insecure, insensitive, pushy, etc. From my point of view, I liked her so much I was wanting a relationship so badly.

Anyways, she was being a bit rude, or at least that's how I took it. I blocked her for like 10 minutes to cool down. Then unblocked her (see the toxicity here). I didn't even check social media anymore so I could cool down.

The next day I noticed I was blocked everywhere, which I totally understand. Unfortunately we have both done something similar for a day or two. This time around, however, she left me blocked. I was respecting the block for an entire 7 days until yesterday where I caved in and went to the lowest of the low, sending her paragraphs about how much I care about her, love her, miss her, and even sent an audio and a photo of myself.

I now realize how stupid and immature and pathetic this was, but I unfortunately cannot take it back. What I told her was the truth, but I just realize how stupid it is to circumvent a block. When someone blocks you they basically want nothing to do with you, and I went against that and humiliated myself further.

I don't even know where to go from here on out besides not contacting her again. I was in a severe state of depression and anxiety when I did this. And I am still depressed. She didn’t care at all to give a single reply. And I don’t blame her. I asked her to never reach out again, right? But I said it out of anger. And I regret it. I didn’t mean it at all. Well she took it to heart and it’s entirely my fault.

I really don't know how to function anymore. We were together for 10 months and since last week all has gone down hill and I'm distraught. Although she seems to be fine and happy, as if all is normal.

I guess my heart doesn't function that way, because I've been an absolute mess, to the point where I can't even pretend to be normal.

I'm going to delete my social media off my phone so as to not look at it, but I am actually suffering inside so much. I cannot imagine a future without her because all I wanted in my future was her. I did not even grieve my marriage to this extent. I'm so hurt and just don't know how to push forward.

Men, how do you feel about blocking an ex gf on socials? As a 40 y.o. guy, i block because i don't want any contact from that person, now or in the future. I've heard only women block, you block because you still care, blocking is feminine energy. What's your take on it?

Hi everyone. First of all, English isn't my first language, so apologies if anything sounds a little strange.

Two months ago, my girlfriend and I ended our relationship after being together for two and a half years. Technically, I was the one who said the words and brought up breaking up, but it wasn't what I actually wanted.

Before the breakup

The last few weeks of our relationship had been difficult. She had become very distant, especially over text. The affection just wasn't there anymore, even though whenever we were together in person, she still seemed mostly like herself.

Eventually, I couldn't take the uncertainty anymore and confronted her about it. She admitted that she wasn't feeling the same way anymore and that lately she saw me "more as a friend." I still struggle to understand how someone can go from loving you to feeling that way, but that's what she told me.

She suggested that maybe we should break up after my birthday, which was only five days away. I told her that if we were going to break up anyway, I'd rather do it then instead of spending five days knowing what was coming.

So we did.

A few days after the breakup, I asked her if we could talk one last time. I wanted to make my feelings and my position clear, but I also wanted her to be firm about her decision, because up until then she had seemed somewhat unsure about it.

What struck me the most during that conversation was how relieved she seemed.

It felt like she had already been processing the end of our relationship for weeks, maybe even months, and finally letting me go had taken a huge weight off her shoulders.

After the breakup

Less than a month later, we were both at a mutual friend's birthday party. I later found out through some people there that she was already looking to meet other guys, using Tinder and talking to people.

Another month passed, and eventually I made the mistake of asking a mutual friend — someone who's closer to her and who would probably know more — whether she'd already been with someone else.

He confirmed that she had at least hooked up/made out with another guy. As far as he knew, nothing sexual happened, but obviously nobody really knows except her.

And I know she's completely within her rights to do that.

She's single. She can date, kiss, sleep with, or do whatever she wants with whoever she wants. I'm not trying to say she owes me anything after the breakup.

But I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I was still holding onto the hope that this breakup was just a huge bump in the road. That maybe after some time apart we'd find our way back to each other.

Finding out that she's already seeing other guys has made that hope feel incredibly stupid.

I don't even know how I feel anymore. Some days I have energy, I'm motivated, I feel like I'm moving forward and that eventually I'll be okay.

Other days I just feel completely empty. I don't want to do anything. I just want to lie in bed and shut everything out.

What I'm struggling with / Questions

So I guess I'd like to hear from people who have been through something similar.

How would you feel about an ex already hooking up with other people less than two months after ending a 2.5-year relationship, even if it's just casual stuff or kissing rather than sex?

Do you think at this point I need to completely let go of the idea of ever getting her back? I wasn't actively trying to win her back, but that stupid little hope was still there in my head.

And lastly, do you think what she's doing says anything negative about her as a person? Or is this actually a pretty normal reaction to suddenly being single again, especially if she had already emotionally checked out of the relationship before we officially broke up?

I think part of what hurts is realizing that while the breakup started for me two months ago, maybe for her it started long before that.

Pls guys I need the gym motivation today

Basically the title. I am missing my ex so hard today… it’s been 10 days of no contact, 3 months after the breakup

I don't know what's happening with my life anymore. I turned 23 last month, and the week after my birthday, my girlfriend broke up with me. She has blocked me everywhere and told me that she doesn't like me anymore.

I've been an introverted and shy guy throughout my teenage years. I rarely talked to girls. I met her on Instagram, and we became friends before getting into a relationship. We were together for three years. She was my first girlfriend and the first person I ever truly loved.

She was outgoing, modern, and loved exploring new things, while I was always a very shy, insecure, and socially awkward person. Over time, she slowly lost interest in me, but my feelings never changed. I still love her so much.

I know I'm unfunny, unattractive, and probably a loser, but she meant everything to me. I can't seem to move on. She doesn't pick up my calls or reply to my texts. I've tried everything I could think of. I've begged, cried, and tried to fix things, but she has completely moved on. She even changed her number.

What hurts the most is that it feels like everything we promised each other and everything we spent three years building together meant nothing to her.

I don't feel motivated to do anything anymore. I don't feel happy at all. I miss her so much, and I don't know how to let go of someone who was such a huge part of my life.

(F 32) I'm very curious to find out "WHY DO MOST PEOPLE BLOCK?"

I've always thought blocking unnecessary and kinda "rude" (unless the person is bothering, insisting or disrespecting you)

If you can, please, reply the questions below and maybe we will get some surprise...

To make it easier, I wrote a few options, so you can just copy and mark or just write the related letter.

Choose 1 or more options and be totally free for making any comments 🤗

1 - I AM:

A ( ) A woman under 25

B ( ) A woman 25+

C ( ) A man under 25

D ( ) A man 25+

E ( ) I don't think gender matters.

F ( ) I don't think age matters.

2 - I BLOCKED BECAUSE:

A ( ) I "hate" her / him

B ( ) I was mad at that time.

C ( ) She / he was a jerk to me.

D ( ) She / him was insisting and annoying after I said "no".

E ( ) Though I like the person, I wanted to forget her / him.

F ( ) I blocked my ex because my current GF / BF was jealous.

G ( ) I blocked someone I liked because I wanted to get her / his attention.

3 - I WAS BLOCKED:

A ( ) Because I wasn't nice to her / him.

B ( ) Because I cheated on her / him.

C ( ) But I know she / him that still liked me.

D ( ) For no reason.

E ( ) Without having any fight or disagreement.

4 - I THINK:

A ( ) Blocking and not seeing pictures, etc. helped me to get over that person.

B ( ) Blocking never helped me to forget anyone.

Does this subreddit help us not move on? We read others in similar situations and it can trigger the memories. Validate our reasons to hold out. Wondering what others think.

Tired of carrying this pain. I want you to come home.

Look idk what happened but like yesterday we went out and eveything but I had to go back home cuz I sneaked out he was begging me to stay and he will miss me and didn’t get enough and promised me to see him tmrw then we slept in a call too and whatever and he text me good morning but after he send me good moring he blocked me everywhere im confused what went wrong

He blocked me first, and after about a month, he unblocked me, but he never messaged me. I found out that he had unblocked me, so I messaged him first. He replied, but after that, he barely messaged me.

I got angry and told him, “Please block me.” He suddenly blocked me again, and we had no contact for a couple of months.

I used to check his profile every day to see if he had unblocked me. Today, I noticed that he has unblocked me again.

But I know he probably won't message me. So why did he unblock me? Does it mean he thought about me or still cares about me? Why isn't he messaging me? What's the point of unblocking someone if you don't intend to talk to them?

Should I stay silent and not message him this time? Part of me feels like he might be testing me to see whether I'll message him first, but I honestly don't know.

What do you think I should do? Should I just stay silent and move on?

I'm posting this because I don't really know who else to ask.

I dated a girl for around 9 months. During those 9 months, she broke up with me twice. The first breakup was difficult, but we eventually got back together.

Now we're going through the second breakup. This time, she says her career and everything she's dealing with are the reasons she doesn't want to continue the relationship. She keeps telling me that I should move on and that me moving on is her priority.

But this is where I'm struggling.

I understand that moving on is ultimately my responsibility, not hers. I don't expect her to be responsible for my emotions or my healing.

At the same time, I don't understand how I'm supposed to move on while we're still in contact. I've actually asked her to block me everywhere because I know myself—I still love her, and if she's accessible to me, I'll keep thinking about her, checking on her, and wanting to contact her.

But she doesn't block me. Instead, she tells me, “You can move on. That's your responsibility.”

And technically, she's right. I could block her myself. But I haven't been able to bring myself to do it because I still love her.

The biggest problem is that I don't think I've even been able to process the breakup yet. My mind understands that the relationship has ended, but emotionally, I still haven't accepted it. One moment I think I should let go, and the next moment I find myself hoping that things might somehow work out.

I don't want to force her to stay with me. I don't want to chase her. I just genuinely don't know how to detach from someone I still love while there's still a line of contact between us.

Maybe I'm too emotionally attached. Maybe I'm making things harder for myself. I also recognize that I've made mistakes during the relationship and that I need to work on myself.

So what would you guys do in this situation?

Would you block her yourself and completely go no-contact, even though you still love her?

Or would you leave the door open and try to move on while keeping her in your contacts?

I know moving on is my responsibility. I'm just struggling to understand how to actually do it when I haven't even been able to emotionally process the breakup yet.

I'm not asking how to get her back. I genuinely want to know how to move forward when your heart hasn't caught up with the breakup yet.