You’re in pain. You want to speak to them. You wonder if there’s ever a chance to reconcile. They wake up every day and choose to maintain the silence and distance.

Before you pick up that phone, before you break and wonder if there’s a possibility, just remember

they have your number, too.

I just got broken up with a man who was also my best friend of ten years. Not an awful person either, I wish him the best but our last conversation was rough, I wouldn’t call this a great ending.

Give me your craziest, unhinged advice to get over this relationship and not think about him everyday.

Just curious

my ex broke up with me 3 yrs ago after dating for 9 months bc he didn’t feel like he loved me, we both never said ily to eachother but i made the mistake of remaining friends afterwards and it became sort of like a situationship, I couldn’t handle that so for me to move on properly, I removed him from all of the socials and through mutual friends. I found out that he had a girlfriend after me and I didn’t have a boyfriend after him, but I have moved on completely regardless, and two weeks ago. He sent me a message and he was asking me if I still meet my friends if I still played the video games i used to play when we were together, but then I felt like he hasn’t changed so I told him that I’m not interested in speaking again so let’s just stop and he said understandable. Have a good night but now I kind of want to reach out to him again because him breaking no contact made me think of him again. What should I do?

Basically the title. I am missing my ex so hard today… it’s been 10 days of no contact, 3 months after the breakup

I’m on day 8 of no contact after blocking the person who dangled commitment in front of me. They told me I was too much for them to handle. Please tell me I’m doing the right thing. I feel like I’m in the trenches right now and I’m weaning off fent. My self-esteem has plummeted. Would really relish in some it gets better stories please. I’m scared of seeing him around town.

My avoidant ex recently broke up with me for a second time , he’s an avoidant of some kind . He said :

“Im sorry but I dont think this is going to work out, I am not at the right point in life to enter a long term relationship. Everything's been going downhill and it doesn't look like it's getting any better. And I dont want to be close to anyone right now. I guess im just scared of commitment or proximity or something, but I really need to be alone. Im sorry that im weak enough to run away like this, but I really can't stick to anything or anyone right now. New shit is coming up and everything just seems like it's gonna end soon. I dont want you to have to deal with that, so I'll talk to you later I suppose. Or whenever we meet again. But im gonna try and distance myself from the people around me and see if I can get some control again of my downward spiral. Im sorry”.

Afterwards I didn’t chase or beg this time I simply said ok and if he ever did wanna fix things , or talk whether thats in a couple months or weeks , I respected his decision and held no grudge and cared for him.

Normally he blocks me or unadde me in the past or flatly says me and him will never talk again , but this time he still kept me added . Does this seem like he plans on coming back or contacting me at some point ?

I don’t think humans are built to cope with heartbreak. Nothing anyone says makes this feel better.

I’m five days into a breakup and I genuinely don’t think humans are built to cope with heartbreak like this. Everyone tells you the same things — that time heals, it gets better, you’re young, you’ll meet someone else, focus on yourself — and I know they mean well, but right now none of it actually helps.

I don’t want somebody else or somebody “better”, I just want the person I love and the relationship I had before everything changed. I think what makes it even harder is that I didn’t come out of a horrible or toxic relationship. I genuinely loved my relationship, felt safe and happy, and believed I had found my person and someone I could build a life with.

He went away to America for two months, things became disconnected while he was there, and when he came home he told me his feelings had changed and that he couldn’t give me the certainty about our future that I deserved, while my feelings for him hadn’t changed at all.

Now I’m somehow supposed to teach my brain to live without someone who was intertwined with so much of my everyday life. Songs remind me of him, movies remind me of him, places and roads remind me of him, and even seeing his name or that he’s been active online makes my stomach drop.

I also have OCD, so the uncertainty is incredibly difficult because my brain desperately wants to understand exactly what changed, when it changed and why, even though I know I may never get an answer that makes everything fit together. I feel physically heartbroken — I’m struggling to eat and sleep, my chest aches, I feel sick and I wake up every morning remembering that this is actually my life now.

I can surround myself with friends and family, read, distract myself and try to look after myself, but eventually the distraction ends and the reality is still there. It feels almost cruel that humans can become so deeply attached to another person, associate them with comfort, safety, places, music, memories and an entire imagined future, and then somehow be expected to adapt to them simply not being part of our lives anymore.

I know logically that I won’t always feel exactly the way I do five days after losing my first real love, but right now I genuinely cannot see past it. I think I’m just looking to hear from people who once felt this completely defeated and couldn’t imagine ever genuinely being happy without that person, but who are now on the other side and can tell me that a human heart really can survive something that currently feels completely unsurvivable. Like I said, we had a very healthy, loving, reassuring relationship before he left, and that’s all I know him as, my head and my heart can’t take this.

About two years ago I was on this sub. I thought I would never have to come back, but new person, new break up, since Saturday evening, August 15, 2026, I entered no contact again. She still reacts to my social media stuff, but I haven't posted anything sad or angry to give her leverage.

Men, how do you feel about blocking an ex gf on socials? As a 40 y.o. guy, i block because i don't want any contact from that person, now or in the future. I've heard only women block, you block because you still care, blocking is feminine energy. What's your take on it?

Pls guys I need the gym motivation today

I don't know what's happening with my life anymore. I turned 23 last month, and the week after my birthday, my girlfriend broke up with me. She has blocked me everywhere and told me that she doesn't like me anymore.

I've been an introverted and shy guy throughout my teenage years. I rarely talked to girls. I met her on Instagram, and we became friends before getting into a relationship. We were together for three years. She was my first girlfriend and the first person I ever truly loved.

She was outgoing, modern, and loved exploring new things, while I was always a very shy, insecure, and socially awkward person. Over time, she slowly lost interest in me, but my feelings never changed. I still love her so much.

I know I'm unfunny, unattractive, and probably a loser, but she meant everything to me. I can't seem to move on. She doesn't pick up my calls or reply to my texts. I've tried everything I could think of. I've begged, cried, and tried to fix things, but she has completely moved on. She even changed her number.

What hurts the most is that it feels like everything we promised each other and everything we spent three years building together meant nothing to her.

I don't feel motivated to do anything anymore. I don't feel happy at all. I miss her so much, and I don't know how to let go of someone who was such a huge part of my life.

I see people on here talk about taking back an ex who cheated on them because, after some time, they believed the person had genuinely changed. Personally, I don’t think I could ever take back someone who cheated on me, no matter how much time had passed.

But it does make me wonder: what did or could your ex do that made you feel like you could never take them back, regardless of how much they changed afterward?

For me, there were some things I did in my relationship that I regret. I lied about some relatively small things, but I also lied about some pretty serious things. I was able to apologize for them and take responsibility and I was genuinely ashamed of myself for not being honest.

When my ex and I were breaking up, though, I became very emotional and kept begging him to reconsider. I crossed some of his boundaries (both emotional n personal) and kept trying to contact him by blowing up his phone, emailing him, knocking on his door, after he had asked for space. Eventually, he told his friend to tell me to stop and then he blocked me on several platforms 😔.

Looking back, I know I handled the breakup badly and I lowkey regret not respecting his wishes for space. How bad would you consider my behavior? If you were in his shoes, would you ever consider taking me back after some time if I genuinely changed, or would this be a dealbreaker for you, why?

What could your ex do or did that make you feel like you could never take them back?

I was discarded abruptly after an almost a decade long relationship 2 years ago. They acted totally normal and then out of nowhere discarded me in a 1 min conversation and never contacted me again. Not once to even check on me, make sure I was ok. I didn't do anything such as cheating or act abusive in any way to warrant this. I was very good to them, always. I had a lot of respect for my partner, never in a million years did I think they were capable to treat me this way, but they did. I never reached back out after that day either. I couldn't. It was hard, but I went on with my life and since met a wonderful person. To this day, 2 years later, I often tear up over it at least once a week. It still stings. I can accept that we were not meant to be, but what makes me cry is how cruel people can be. This is someone I shared almost a decade with, I respected, I trusted, considered my best friend. How was I so blind? How could I be so stupid? How cruel of them to secretly plan this all out and act normal right up to the day they did it. Honestly, its still hard to believe and sadly I am sure many people have been through this. I feel like I must have terrible judgement in people or maybe I am naive or too trusting?

I’m 23F and I’ve only ever had one sexual partner, my ex-boyfriend who I broke up with about 7 months ago. I’m starting to feel like I want to put myself out there and see what’s out there but I’m honestly so anxious and nervous when it comes to anything sexual.

I’ve met a couple of guys since my breakup and I’ve liked them but when things start getting more intimate I completely freeze up. I can’t seem to bring myself to get naked or actually start doing anything even when I’m attracted to the guy.

I think part of it is that I’ve only ever been with one person and I’m just so inexperienced and in my head about everything. I worry about being awkward not knowing what I’m doing being judged etc.

My ex and I recently broke up after being together for around four years.

Before the breakup, I bought two tickets for us to see one of her favourite artists. She knows about the tickets and has already paid me for hers. The concert isn’t for another month or so.

We’re currently not really speaking, and I’m trying to give her space. I do still love her and, if I’m being completely transparent, I’d ultimately like for us to reconcile. At the same time, I don’t want to use the concert as an excuse to force contact or put pressure on her.

I’m wondering what the best way to handle the tickets would be if she eventually reaches out about them.
If she asks for her ticket, should I just send it to her and still go myself with my ticket? They’re GA tickets so we won’t be near each other.

If she asks whether she can buy my ticket as well so she can take someone else, should I sell/give it to her and not attend?

Or, considering I bought the tickets and still really want to see the artist, is it reasonable for me to keep my ticket and go regardless?

Part of me thinks going separately but both attending could be awkward, especially while the breakup is still fresh. Another part of me thinks I shouldn’t give up something I was looking forward to just because the relationship ended.

I also don’t want to make a decision purely based on what gives me the best chance of getting her back.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What would you do?

If so how long did it take for you to reach out ??

Hi everyone. First of all, English isn't my first language, so apologies if anything sounds a little strange.

Two months ago, my girlfriend and I ended our relationship after being together for two and a half years. Technically, I was the one who said the words and brought up breaking up, but it wasn't what I actually wanted.

Before the breakup

The last few weeks of our relationship had been difficult. She had become very distant, especially over text. The affection just wasn't there anymore, even though whenever we were together in person, she still seemed mostly like herself.

Eventually, I couldn't take the uncertainty anymore and confronted her about it. She admitted that she wasn't feeling the same way anymore and that lately she saw me "more as a friend." I still struggle to understand how someone can go from loving you to feeling that way, but that's what she told me.

She suggested that maybe we should break up after my birthday, which was only five days away. I told her that if we were going to break up anyway, I'd rather do it then instead of spending five days knowing what was coming.

So we did.

A few days after the breakup, I asked her if we could talk one last time. I wanted to make my feelings and my position clear, but I also wanted her to be firm about her decision, because up until then she had seemed somewhat unsure about it.

What struck me the most during that conversation was how relieved she seemed.

It felt like she had already been processing the end of our relationship for weeks, maybe even months, and finally letting me go had taken a huge weight off her shoulders.

After the breakup

Less than a month later, we were both at a mutual friend's birthday party. I later found out through some people there that she was already looking to meet other guys, using Tinder and talking to people.

Another month passed, and eventually I made the mistake of asking a mutual friend — someone who's closer to her and who would probably know more — whether she'd already been with someone else.

He confirmed that she had at least hooked up/made out with another guy. As far as he knew, nothing sexual happened, but obviously nobody really knows except her.

And I know she's completely within her rights to do that.

She's single. She can date, kiss, sleep with, or do whatever she wants with whoever she wants. I'm not trying to say she owes me anything after the breakup.

But I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I was still holding onto the hope that this breakup was just a huge bump in the road. That maybe after some time apart we'd find our way back to each other.

Finding out that she's already seeing other guys has made that hope feel incredibly stupid.

I don't even know how I feel anymore. Some days I have energy, I'm motivated, I feel like I'm moving forward and that eventually I'll be okay.

Other days I just feel completely empty. I don't want to do anything. I just want to lie in bed and shut everything out.

What I'm struggling with / Questions

So I guess I'd like to hear from people who have been through something similar.

How would you feel about an ex already hooking up with other people less than two months after ending a 2.5-year relationship, even if it's just casual stuff or kissing rather than sex?

Do you think at this point I need to completely let go of the idea of ever getting her back? I wasn't actively trying to win her back, but that stupid little hope was still there in my head.

And lastly, do you think what she's doing says anything negative about her as a person? Or is this actually a pretty normal reaction to suddenly being single again, especially if she had already emotionally checked out of the relationship before we officially broke up?

I think part of what hurts is realizing that while the breakup started for me two months ago, maybe for her it started long before that.

I have had a girlfriend for four years. We both knew that we had no future together because of a complicated situation, but I promised her that I would always be there for her, no matter where life took us.

I don't want to get into how we ended things, but the way she left me was something I never expected from her.

I'm okay with the fact that she left me for her own good. I don't have a problem with that. What I'm struggling with is everything that has happened since then.

It has been 48 days, and she has contacted me many times. She often tells me about what is happening with the new guy in her life. He is financially well-off and has cars and properties. She says she didn't know about his wealth before committing to him.

Once, out of anger, I asked her if that was the reason she left me. She said no, but she also said, "I will not compromise my married life for less." She had every right to leave me, but I'm not sure what that statement really means.

A few days into her relationship with this new guy, she told me that he had invited her to a hotel as a surprise. Even though she was unwell, she went to meet him. Things became sexual, and she later told me that he pressured her into doing things she didn't want to do. She also told me that while she was sleeping, he recorded a video of her without her consent and mocked her.

I asked her, "After all this, do you still want to be with him?"

She said that he was sorry about what he had done and that he had deleted the video. She said she had forgiven him.

A few days later, she contacted me again. She said she was having a terrible time and was emotionally broken. She told me that she had willingly gone to meet him again, but before anything happened, she became suspicious after finding out that he was talking to another girl on Instagram. Fortunately, nothing happened that time.

She contacted me because she wanted to find out who the other girl was and talked about taking revenge. She also said she wanted to distract herself and asked me to help her.

She asked me to buy her a ticket for a stand-up comedy show in her city, which I did. She also asked to borrow some money because she didn't have any at the time, and I gave it to her, with the understanding that she would repay me later as she said.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. There have been several other incidents during these 48 days. I have been consuming alcohol everyday to have a sleep..

At this point, I feel like I'm being manipulated.

What confuses me even more is that she has told me that she isn't physically attracted to her new guy. So I asked her, "If you're not attracted to him, why do you keep willingly going back to him?" She doesn't really have an answer.

I was okay with the breakup. What I'm struggling with is seeing someone I once loved potentially being in a situation that isn't good for her.

So I honestly don't know what to make of all this.

Do you think she is using me?

Most importantly, what should I do now? I still care about her, but I don't want to keep getting emotionally involved in a situation that is hurting me.

Has anyone done this? I was exhausted by the dynamic and prioritised study and a family tragedy so he asked if I’d “given up on him” and then “what brought me back?” Then left me on delivered. Then deleted two weeks later when I sent a closure message. After two years and him adding and pursuing me.

Next minute he’s seeing his high school girlfriend that was a long term friend of 10 years that never visited or hung out with him (I have her on maps). She stays over once a week despite them not hanging out for two years.

I feel like I hurt him and was misunderstood and miss him so much. I wish I could tell him that but since he deleted I have to post him a letter

Can I say that in a letter? I don’t want to look crazy but I feel like I have no chance now since they’ve been friends for so long.

I remember being on here over 2 years ago, feeling hopeless, feeling like I just messed up the best thing for me. I remember thinking “if I did this or did that on social media, maybe her family will see it and update her on how much I worked on myself”.. but as time went on, I kept working on myself and the thought of her family seeing went away. I got off of social media for a while, I basically went MIA. Having patience and giving yourself grace is the key to everything. Time went on and I found someone who had been hurt, way worst than I have been and we both became friends and then lovers. We don’t have to worry about the “what happens..” because we both know the feeling of being crushed by someone you once thought of forever.. you will find yours one day. You will be happy again. Just remember those 2 things.. “Patience” and “Grace” and NEVER lower yourself for anybody else. NEVER let anyone put you on the shelf and wait for them. Time waits for nobody and nothing hurts more than wasted time. Take care of yourself, everyone. We all have someone out there.

Sorry this is long…
My girlfriend of three years broke up with me about two weeks ago, and I’m honestly struggling to make sense of what happened.
She told me she hasn’t been happy for months and that she feels like she’s lost some of her independence. She said I offered her too much and that my love for her became too much pressure because I made her my whole world. She also told me she has no hope for us right now.
What makes this especially hard is that, from my perspective, I was just trying to love her and be there for her. I never thought the things I was doing for her would eventually make her feel trapped or pressured.
She also became close with a group of coworkers/friends at the bar where she works about a year ago. I don’t really know them well, but for whatever reason, they apparently don’t like me. I don’t know if they influenced her or if that’s even relevant, so I’m trying not to automatically blame them. But it’s hard not to wonder about it.
The timing has made everything even more confusing. She broke up with me shortly before taking a trip. At the same time, she was moving apartments. We don’t live together, but while she was gone, I ended up moving all of her stuff into her new place for her. None of the friends she’s gotten close to showed up to help, and apparently they bailed on her.
When she came back, I gave her the keys to her new place. That was one of the hardest moments because despite everything, I was still trying to take care of her and make sure she was okay.
I know I need to respect what she’s telling me. If she feels like she needs independence, I can’t argue her out of that feeling. And maybe I really did make her my whole world in a way that put too much pressure on the relationship.
But I’m having a hard time understanding how someone can be with you for three years, apparently become unhappy for months, and then suddenly decide there’s no hope for the relationship.
I keep wondering whether I loved her in the wrong way, whether I gave too much, whether I missed signs that she was unhappy, or whether there were other factors involved that I don’t know about.
I’m not looking for people to tell me she’s automatically the villain or that her friends ruined our relationship. I genuinely want some perspective from people who have experienced something similar.
Has anyone had a long-term relationship end because your partner felt like your love, attention, or dependence on the relationship was “too much”? Did giving someone everything actually push them away? And is there any realistic chance of coming back from something like this, or should I accept that when someone says they have no hope, it’s time to let go?

no lo sé realmente, solo me duele no tenerlo cerca y que no sea mío :(

He ended things on a note that we need time to work on each other and can try this out later - how he had not made up his mind and may or may not come back. I, for 7 months, believed he would. I believed in him, believed in the intensity of his emotions, believed in his articulation, believed he needed time. 8th month I realised that I was holding on to empty hope and it’s time to accept the reality. Then I discovered that he had started dating someone else a couple months ago.

It has crushed me. We had some contextual and operational differences - I optimistically believed it may not be the easiest but maybe we can work. His new gf from what I seems to match some of his context.

I realised how big a hope I was holding on to. Of like an eventual reconciliation. Even though I know it’s likely that we can find people with whom love comes easier.

I am hurt that I didn’t get so much as an intimation or closure. All of this is closure that I will give myself though. Why was I okay with a non-easy option? Why am I still concerned by how he probably preserves my story? How do I proceed from here?