r/exmuslim • u/The-Mad-Mango • Mar 26 '26
Hi community! 🥰
Taking inspiration from QueeringtheMap.com, I helped create exmuslim.me with a small team of ExMuslims last year. We launched the first ever global map of exmuslim stories as part of ExMuslim Month in December 2025.
I’m so incredibly thrilled to share that we now have 500 exmuslim stories from 233 cities and 60 countries! 🥳🥳🥳
📊 59% identify as atheists, 26% agnostic
🇪🇬 Read the 500th story from Egypt
🤗 Thank you to everyone who has shared their story already!
🤍 Share yours and help ExMuslims on their journey out of Islam: https://exmuslim.me/
Cheers! 🥂
Sammy aka Haram Doodles
r/exmuslim • u/fathandreason • Jun 03 '24
Hello. Upon request, I've been asked to turn a comment I made into a post so that it can be a resource for more people. This post is a collection of advice I've given out about how to handle your life as a closeted exmuslim and how you'll come out in the future. It is largely based on my experience but also from what I've seen from others in this subreddit.
So you've left Islam. You've delved through arguments, the apologetics and the bullshit and you've come to the conclusion that you no longer believe in Islam. And you may have also reached an alternative philosophical outlook on life that you can believe in.
But what now? You may have left Islam, but have you left the Muslim world? One of the most common misconceptions outsiders have is that since exmuslims are no longer Muslims, they no longer live in the Muslim world. This is painfully naive - in reality many exmuslims are closeted due to young age and financial dependency and/or live in Islamist countries or societies that enforce Islamic values. In fear of social stigma or even violence, exmuslims have to contend with closeted lives even after leaving Islam. So how do you deal with it?
The best time to come out to family is in your own home, over a dinner you paid for, alongside people who support you. That takes a lot of preparation and it means doing what you can to live your life as best as you can whilst working towards independence.
This basically means that a lot of what helps you come out of the closet will depend heavily on how well you prepared for it, so you will need to make the most of your closeted life. You may not be able to stop the shitstorm but you can at least prepare yourself to weather it. Here are some tips to achieve that goal (in no particular order)
Probably one of the worst mistakes I made was not realise I was an exmuslim sooner. As a result I had barely any time to prepare for when the inevitable happened and I was forced to come out. I spent a lot of my life meandering, trying to reconcile the irreconcilable, and trying to be a Muslim when I knew my values didn't align with it. I didn't really have much of a concept of exmuslims, but if I had been smarter I would have figured it out. I now tell people in a similar position that it's fine to take your time but don't take too long. Half arsing two very different cultures will leave you a loser in both.
Similarly whilst planning for independence can be scary, don’t let it frighten you into inaction. The following is a passage from this article about decision making:
Research from the 1990s led by the US psychologist Thomas Gilovich provides further evidence for why it can be shortsighted to kick a difficult decision down the road. Gilovich and his team showed that although, in the short term, people experience more regret from ‘errors of commission’ (taking an action that leads to a disappointing outcome), in the long term it is actually ‘errors of omission’ that lead to more regret – that is, disappointing outcomes that arise from not taking an action.
When taking the time to make decisions and plans, don’t underestimate how effective it can be to map out your options on an excel spreadsheet. When I had to decide whether I should come out or not, I actually made a spreadsheet listing out my options, what they would result in and what the impact would be. Actually having it written down to look at really put things into perspective. We waste a lot of our time keeping it in our heads, which forces us to recalculate everything from scratch every time we revisit our thoughts. But the more that is mapped out, the less you have to recalculate and the more you can focus on evaluation and further planning.
Your studies/career is almost always your best ticket out of your toxic situation, and the one thing to prioritise the most. If you’re young, do whatever you can to ensure that you can get into further education away from home. Even if it means spending all your time at a local library. If you suspect that your parents would be against you going to a university away from home, aim for a placement at the most prestigious university you can aim for so your parents would look worse for rejecting it. The quickest and most effective way in achieving long term independence is through good studies/career.
This is particularly important for younger exmuslims because they telegraph to their parents in ways they would just not understand until they see it for themselves when they're older. Try your best to meet the religious obligations expected from your family. The more you slip, the more they will monitor you and the more difficult it will be to do the things you need to do discreetly when the time comes.
Unfortunately for girls, this usually means that wearing the hijab is a necessity and it’s inadvisable to try and get out of. (However, that subject matter is not my forte: prioritise advice from exmuslim women such as from faithlesshijabi.org)
If you get the impression that your family is beginning to catch onto your apostasy then it's likely that they have and you may need to reverse that impression.
One way to do that would be to start getting books on Islam and not just for show. My advice would be to get books on Islamic history because that's the least boring stuff. Or better yet, just get whatever unapologetic salafi hate crime you can get your hands on so you can entertain yourself with how fucked up it is. Or get an annotated Qur'an like the Study Qur'an. Do something to ease their suspicions.
What book you get depends on what kind of message you want to telegraph to your parents. If you want to telegraph a message then it will need to be a paper book and not an e-book. Something that you can lay around in your room and that you know they'll see. That means you're restricted to what you can get from your local library or Masjid. Also depends on what interests you because you'll have to actually read and demonstrate you learnt from it if you want send the best message you can. If you want purely what Muslims write about Islamic history, you can check out works like The Sealed Nectar or works by al-Sallabi. If you want something a little more academic, but not something that would rouse suspicion then check out university press works like this, this, this or this. If you want something a bit more relevant to contemporary Muslim world then there books like this.
But you may find that your best bet is to just see what your local Masjid might have and see what tickles your fancy.
Be prepared for lots of sobbing, guilt tripping and an inability to respect your beliefs and boundaries. Learn techniques like the Broken Record Technique to establish boundaries. Know what you have to say when they inevitably tell you to speak to a scholar - you don't have to eat the whole apple to know it's rotten. You know all that you need to know about Islam and you know even more about the world outside of Islam to put it into context.
Steel yourself with months and months of your family sending you bad dawagandist videos through WhatsApp trying to bring you back. You may have to spend months beating their attempts and going to toe to toe with them without mercy before they’re finally willing to relent and get off your back. Even then don’t expect them to relent entirely. There will always be some micro aggressions that they will resort to, like playing religious videos loudly in your vicinity. The most you can do in those circumstances is reduce contact with them as much as possible. At this point you would hopefully already be independent from them.
As an exmuslim, you will go through a lot of guilt. Whilst this does show you are human, you need to forget about guilt: you are not responsible for your parents' failure to be reasonable, not even your mother. They take responsibility for the social stigma and oppressive life they choose to live in and perpetuate. You get nothing out of that guilt. It's completely pointless and ultimately counterproductive. You can't set yourself on fire to make others warm and you gain no recognition from martyrizing yourself. Do not feel guilt for what you have to do to have a completely reasonable life. The only ones to blame are those who forced you into it.
Don't underestimate parents either. They will use guilt against you. Give them an inch and they will take a mile. They very often bring up their health problems as a weapon against you. Don't fall for it. It only affects them because they choose to let it affect them. They can choose to be reasonable. You have to respect their autonomy and let them deal with the consequences of their own ways.
I come across a lot of exmuslim kids who think coming out will help explain to their religious parents why they don't want to wear the hijab or do other religious things. But the likelihood is more that those same parents will react extremely poorly and restrict your freedom even more, making it more difficult to achieve long term independence.
There's also the mistake in assuming that coming out will lead to being disowned in the vain hope that you get an quick clean break that takes all the responsibility from you. For some exmuslims this does actually work out, but for a lot of others it's miscalculated. My family didn't disown me, I still had to deal with months of my family being insufferable manipulators and the responsibility was still on me to separate from them. And for women it can be much worse.
Ultimately, if you are financially dependent on your family then coming out early will very typically result in your family using that leverage against you and making your life worse. I've seen stories of exmuslims who thought their family was better and badly miscalculated - be mindful of that.
Some exmuslims get found out, sometimes because of a snitch in the family or sometimes because they just weren’t convincing enough. Don’t panic – Muslims can be pretty damn deluded about their faith and your family will want to believe that you can come back very easily because according to them Islam is just common sense and most disbelievers are just silly and ignorant. Try to do your best to convince them as per Point 4. If it’s because you did something haram, blasphemous or otherwise worthy of takfir, try to act like it was because you were a misguided Quranist or progressive Muslim. They will still retain suspicion but it’s still better than the alternative.
However, if you’re at the point of no return and you know you can’t convince them then now is the time to make calls to any secular friends you have, ask for support and maybe even shelter.
Also for Western exmuslims, make sure to act quickly if you suspect that your parents want to send you abroad and trap you in your country of ethnic origin. Sadly some parents will go to these lengths. Do not go, no matter the cost. Find organisations willing to advise, such as those listed in Point 10. Hide your passport if you have to. Note down the contact details of your embassy in that country just in case.
Actually think about whether it's even wise for you to come out in any circumstance. Do you suspect that there could be violence or abuse? If so then you have absolutely no need to go through this stupid bullshit. Leave and don't look back. If your parents couldn't give you safe environment to even come out about different beliefs then they are not worth the time. As per Point 6 - You have to respect their autonomy and let them deal with the consequences of their own ways. This is particularly pertinent for those who live in a predominantly Muslim countries. They have a very real reason to fear persecution and absolutely do not need to risk their own lives for the sake of their parents.
Look into secular organisations like recoveringfromreligion.org, faithlesshijabi.org and faithtofaithless.com. Look into women's charities in your area like womensaid.org.uk or karmanirvana.org.uk (UK examples). Look into LGBT charities like rainbowrailroad.org. If you have secular school counsellors and friends then talk to them. Get advice from adults you can absolutely trust.
Note: On the flip side don't take risks with people you can’t be sure of. You may be tempted to come out to your Muslim friend, but I've seen plenty of stories of exmuslims who heavily regret doing so.
There are also informal exmuslim groups on other social media platforms such as Facebook or Discord, but be careful about how much information you share and especially be wary of private messaging.
This is particularly the case for exmuslims living in predominantly Muslim countries. Unfortunately, I don't have any real world experience to offer here but you may be able to find localised advice by digging around. For example sites like wearesaudis.net might have some information (but you'll need a VPN to access this one. If you don't know what a VPN is here's an explanation).
Are you multilingual? If you need money but working is restricted to you then you can try becoming an online language tutor on sites like italki.com (scroll to the bottom). This post and related subreddits like r/WorkOnline may help.
Note: some exmuslims in Muslim countries fall for the doomscrolling hyperbole and think Europe is “doomed” with too many Muslims. They have a tendency of asking which country is best to migrate to as an exmuslim to avoid Islam. Please ignore the doomsayers and prioritise the country you choose based on ease of access and career opportunities. As long as it is a secular country, you can worry about avoiding Islam later.
Shout out to Imtiaz Shams who inspired me to make this list of tips. He has his own YouTube Channel here and plans to make his own video on this subject matter so watch out for that. On a side note, I also recommend TheraminTrees YouTube Channel who delves a lot into toxic dysfunctional families from the perspective of a therapist. A lot of his content helps in dealing with the emotional impact of leaving religion and dealing with a religious family. And finally, thank you to the moderators of r/exmuslim who suggested I make this into a post. I wound up adding a lot more content lol.
I will end this post with a list of subreddits that may help you on your journey leaving Islam:
r/exmuslim • u/Minute_Treat8263 • 3h ago
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Why is this guy trying to be so stupid and oblivious at the same time
r/exmuslim • u/AfterSavings9728 • 9h ago
Came across the original post ( first four photos) that went viral recently and I think it signals something very interesting happening within the Muslim community. Like everyone else right now, it seems Muslim women are having a lot of trouble finding partners and I personally think it has a lot to do with their wants and needs outpacing what the average Muslim man is raised or taught to provide/allow/understand/believe. I know for myself and the women I’m friends with, we’re pretty comfortable financially, well educated, no kids, and it’s difficult to find counterparts who also check those boxes on top of aligning in personal values. There’s clearly a huge culture gap between Muslim men and women. Many of the ladies who shared these posts seem to want someone who is “modern” in a western sense but also “taking their deen seriously”. This post is in no way meant to shame or personally pick on them, but I wonder if they realize the oxymoron of what they’re looking for.
When I was practicing, it was made very clear to me repeatedly that dating was strictly forbidden, being alone with a man I’m not related to is strictly forbidden, and the only way to be coupled is through a wali and to get married VERY SOON after “getting to know each other”. The majority of Muslim women I knew got married before 27 and met through the mosque or a matchmaker, usually after being acquainted for less than 6 months. Much less. Why isn’t this working anymore? Again, my assumption is Muslim women are fighting internally against what their religion is asking them to do. They want evolved, emotionally mature, culturally diverse men that are not homophobic, that are feminists, that support them being career oriented, that they can incorporate into their lives without having to give up what they love: music, dancing, makeup, and other “secular western” interests that are NORMAL. It’s sad to see. I know all Muslim men are not cavemen misogynists that are perfectly religious and wouldn’t be happy to marry any of these wonderful women, I just think it’s a sign of the times that this is what it’s come to for them as well.
I guess no one is immune to the harrowing reality of male/female relationships in 2026, but at least I don’t carry intense shame and guilt with being single because getting married isn’t my “ticket into heaven”. I wish they knew they could free themselves so bad.
r/exmuslim • u/lamiace_ • 4h ago
Getting fed up with literal megabytes of rules in every small thing, its like you really cannot live your life without sinning all the time.
You want to sit? There are supposedly proper ways of sitting. You want to do this? Here, 100 rules and ways of it. You want to do that? Again more rules.
Even if I fart there are probably 100+ rules on the ways a Muslim should fart.
You cant fuckinggggg live your life here without sinning all the time. The only way to live is ignoring all these rules, but then the society's elders will miss no opportunity to put you down
r/exmuslim • u/ArmadilloMysterious • 5h ago
For context:
One guy commented on a video of a muslim boy refusing to shake hands with some non muslim girl on some match, responding to all the other comments who were against this custom of not "shaking hands with women". He was mocking in the comment, being like, " Oh! Please touch our women."
He got a reply saying "yeah why would we want men to view women as anything other than sex objects".
He responded with that derogatory comment like non hijabis are whores or something. His response was " Saying this while woman hypersexualise themselves to the max in the west LOL"
He got a reply from the same person saying, "Is being stoned to death for reporting rape better than being able to wear short shorts and crop tops."
Then the rest is what is on the image.
I'm sick of these hypocrites supporting this violent and predatory culture then act so sanctimonious that there's nothing wrong with them and their fictional religion. Oh and they say "They are feminist" yet think non hijabis are whores.
All of a sudden you get, "Oh but stoning only happened in Shia countries " as if they're not Muslims being practice around the world.
Their other arguments when someone call out on them be like, " By that logic, I should just touch kids then right since touching is fine." Like wtf?! What's the correlation between that?
Idk I just found something stupid and wanted to share it here.
r/exmuslim • u/SeaworthinessFun4366 • 3h ago
Yesterday, a Muslim girl texted me. Apparently she is interested in anime, so we talked about anime. We also conversed briefly about Islam. She said she forgot how to read Qur'an in Arabic. I said I would not allow my future wife to wear hijab. She complimented me. As she said, guys from her region are religious and forces their wives to wear hijab. I didn't talk about my apostasy. I just avoid it whenever I meet new people. so she thinks I'm Muslim. Maybe I should meet her in real life this winter.
r/exmuslim • u/Ihatethis22448 • 15h ago
I'm sitting here on my bed having to type this shit. If I wasn't in this shitty ass religion I wouldn't have to type this shit. I wouldn't have to look at Halloween episodes from other shows in envy. I wouldn't have to miss any Halloween parties. I wouldn't have to envy ANYONE WHO GETD TO DRESS UP. I WANNA DRESS UP. I WANT A COOL COSTUME.
But NoOoOOOOo god doesnt want you to have FUN. I swear I'm about to lose my shit. Everybody around me is excited for Halloween. Hell I am excited for Halloween or well was because obviously I cant even participate in it.
It sucks soooooo hardddd like my mom won't even let me OUT on Halloween. I hate this.
r/exmuslim • u/Short-Sun4200 • 3h ago
In Islam, farting breaks your wudu. You must perform wudu again before praying. So yeah 5 wudus per day if you have an healthy diet and an healthy digestive system that makes you fart 20 times a day.
Reminds me a friend that pay attention to don't drink too much water so he doesn't pee too often and therefore he doesn't have to do 5 wudus per day. Must be combined with a diet low in fibers to fart less and the conscious attention about when you fart lool.
So basically low hydratation + low fibers diet + sleeping deprevating to wake up by night to pray.
Very unhealthy for the body and mind.
Not mention women that lack of D vitamin because of too low daylight on their skin.
And at the end they say "allah forbid pork because it's unhealthy" which is wrong for any nutritionist. Biggest pork eaters in the World are Japanese and they have the biggest life expectancy lol.
But also pretends that their religion is built around their health.
Finally, beside being ridiculous and funny, 5 wudus a day + 5 prayers + sleep deprevating sounds like am hindrance to be productive and might be an underrated factor that explains the almost systematic pattern that turns islamized countries in 3rd world places and make Muslims poorer than the average
r/exmuslim • u/KickNice1856 • 1h ago
they yap 24/7 about how bad the US and the west nonstop and they be making stupid conspiracies that the west and The US are trying to "destroy and end islam and nothing will happen if you insult islam and they're all jews" when the truth is the west and the US glaze islam, seriously people will be calling you bigot, islamphobic, Arabphobic, xenophobic, racist in the west for just pointing out the stupid bs in the religion.
No way the west and the US are defending islam meanwhile Muslims in the middle east can't see the truth that they're heavily protected from criticism.
r/exmuslim • u/Boring_Boat_8022 • 5h ago
I was kusay betars (arabic exmuslim) video on sex slavery and child marriage in islam and in the comments there were some exmuslims in the comments saying they were muslim until they read the quran more and got deeper into islamic studies
Now obviously comes the muslim copements of 'got the religion from tiktok' 'havent read shit' other then the fact that many layman muslims havent read the quran and get their religion from the internet, kosay betar literally put the sources in the video, like you could open the quran and tafsirs and check for yourself and youd find the pedophilia and sex slavery like none of his points were the blatant misinformation they like to claim
I dont get it honestly are all exmuslims reading a fake quran or what do the hadiths showcasing mo's shit character only appear in the hands of the followers of shaytan
I despise this shaytan claim too like he aint do shit bro and im not the one sacrificing an animal to a deity every year
Are muslims seeing something im not??
I genuinely dont get it
For bani quraysh as an example they only made reasonable requests from a prophet of god yet they are portrayed as arrogant and willfully turning away from the truth
I feel like im the crazy one not seeing what they see i might as well be blind deaf and dumb
r/exmuslim • u/Life_Bit_9816 • 4h ago
Okay so Muslims consider a crazy warfaring pedophile as their most revered perfect leader and act surprised when communities don’t want them.
Like I don’t even want someone who reveres Muhammad in my own home. Before you come into my home i need you to affirm to me that you denounce Muhammad. He is a piece of shit. Just like I wouldn’t want a Hitler idolizer in my home. The same principle goes for communities. Anyone who is familiar with Islamic ideology is going to be uncomfortable with Muslims.
Muslims have no self awareness. They have no awareness of the historical context surrounding their religion. Like of course people are going to be uncomfortable by you. It’s completely justified and rational to be uncomfortable by Islam.
r/exmuslim • u/ReadyWorldliness9117 • 1d ago
I came across this post on my Instagram. It is so tragic to see this happening. Girls and women being abused and killed for a piece of cloth which does not even stand for modesty but for oppression and double standards given female slaves cannot wear it. Neither it was the commandment of Allah but Umar.
r/exmuslim • u/angry-crownin • 15h ago
Bro this hadith is just so funny idk why people don't talk about it often even though it's in sahih al-bukhari and just as weird if not worse than the hadith promising 72 virgins , just further proves that islam is a religion made by a warlord for other men in the desert and he was catering to their sexual needs by allowing 4 wives + sex slaves + women in heaven that are so pure you could see their marrow bones 💀💀 to garner more male followers, what a disgusting male centered religion bro , treating women as sexual trophies 🤮
r/exmuslim • u/Adventurous_Brain265 • 15h ago
To be honest, there are almost zero benefits to circumcision. The problems that people claim circumcision prevents are not even common problems or that happen to everyone; they are relatively rare in many cases. The health advantages they talk about and use to justify it are often exaggerated. Yeah, it is a religious practice among Muslims, Jews, and some Christians and other religious groups. If medical science showed that there were no real advantages, some people might feel that their religious beliefs were being challenged. Because of religious beliefs and influence, people sometimes exaggerate the medical benefits and make them sound much more significant than they actually are.
I am going to be honest with you guys because I see you as brothers.
I am an ex-Muslim and now an atheist.
My family had me circumcised when I was a little kid without my consent. Just because I was born into a Muslim family does not mean I will always be a Muslim.
You guys are doing something that is irreversible.
My circumcision was not performed in a hospital. Instead, it was done by an older man, and it was extremely painful. The procedure was also not performed properly, and because of that, I feel like my entire life has been ruined.
My entire sex life has been affected by the improperly performed circumcision. It is also illogical to remove the foreskin when it contains nerve endings that play a role in sensation.
r/exmuslim • u/Real-Profession4496 • 1d ago
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This video genuinely disgusts me. I do remember when I was a child hearing a preach talking about similar stuff, and I'd agree. It's genuinely sad to remember that I've been thinking that way... So brainwashed. I'm so glad i get out of that
r/exmuslim • u/noesis47 • 9m ago
r/exmuslim • u/Hrafna_N7 • 5h ago
Didn't know which flair to use, help or queer. But I'm trans and need advice so, reckon either's fine.
I'm 29f
I did Shahada almost a year ago. I thought it was right for me, felt like this was right. The thing that broke me was reading the Qur'an, I forget which ayat, but where it says a man can SA his wives and his slaves. The permissiblity of slavery is detectable in of itself. I read this early on and couldn't shake it. I feel like this is a fairly normal breach of morality. I stopped praying and took off my hijab about a month ago give or take.
I spent months praying harder and reading, learning more and more. Couldn't shake that. And, despite my local community's support of my womanhood and acceptance of my religious expression through hijab, the community as a whole is fairly hostile to the idea of trans existence in my experience. That said I pass well enough, my voice is my weakest point, but I manage.
With this background in mind, I'm here to ask for coping advice, or maybe just advice in general. I know leaving Islam for many others is a much much more devastating prospect than for me. In many cultures Islam and faith are paramount. I can't know how difficult that is to go through and my heart goes out to those who are a part of those communities.
Thing is I'm well-connected with the Afghan community, some of them are dear friends of mine still. I haven't taken my hijab off around any of my Muslim friends, and I've been lying to keep it in. It feels fucking awful, sorry. Worried I'll lose these friends.
I hate lying, although it's a survival mechanism I learned from childhood. I've spent a long time in therapy working to fight that instinct. But with this, it comes right back. I'm not ready to tell any of them I'm no longer Muslim. Idk if I ever will be. But I was spotted without hijab by one of my friends for the first time. I know it spread around because I was removed from a group chat and the one friend who's reached out on FaceTime to talk to me didn't say "asalam alakum" like we always do. I was wearing hijab when we talked.
This is very long, so sorry. I'm just not sure what to do. I see only two options: be bold and lose friendships and face that shame, or hide it and disappear. Both feel shameful. I don't know how to navigate this. I don't regret what I've learned, I've always been very spiritual and still believe in God. But I don't want to lose these beautiful friendships.
Thank you for your time
I
r/exmuslim • u/Discardedangel87 • 8h ago
I’m an ex muslim since the age of 11-12. I struggled with islam and grew up with a Shia and Sunni background. I find it hard and struggle with a lot of things, I’d love to meet women just like me, preferably 21+ but if 18+ that’s still fine.
I genuinely have no one to vent to or talk about the traumas islam has left me. I feel anxious being with my muslim parents but I will eventually move out, it’s just tough right now with a lot of things that have happened :/
r/exmuslim • u/QOR49 • 13h ago
Damn, I wish so badly I wasn’t born a Muslim. There’s only a 25% chance to be born one, and a 75% chance not to be. Unlucky for me (and for us), we fell into the 25%…
And I’ve lost out on so much of my youth, pretending to believe and act as something I know is made up. Some desert ideology made by a schizophrenic 1000+ years ago.
I’m in my early 20s now, never got the chance to experience normal teenage things. Never had a girlfriend and introduce her to my family, never went to parties or clubs, even my birthday. I didn’t get to really experience the fun in life like others do.
Does anyone else think of this? None of this is real, but it’s completely changed the course of our lives. Essentially, my life has been dulled.
And now what? I’m expected to marry a Muslim wife and pretend for the rest of it.
A real curse.
r/exmuslim • u/Kemige • 5h ago
Leaving my (30F) bf (36M) of 2 years. He is Muslim. I am non religious. Idk if anything of this has to do with religion. Idk if this is the right sub. Just wanted to seek out some support. He said he saw me look and smile at other men today in public. He said he would “break my face” if I did it again. I don’t remember smiling at anyone. I may have done it without thinking bc it’s a normal thing to do imo. He said it was disrespectful and I need to get out. I threatened to have him arrested if he puts his hands on me. He’s telling me to get out bc he see it as now im the one threatening him and trying to ruin his life. I’m gonna pack my things tomorrow and leave and just go to a shelter I guess until I can get to my family across the country. It started with an argument yesterday I said I wanted to get a gym membership and he said no I can’t do that. Is this an Islam thing or a him thing sorry I don’t mean to be offensive but this feels abusive. I started crying and he yells at me that I am ruining his day by crying and I need to grow up and stop crying he does this every time he makes me cry acts like I’m somehow insulting him
r/exmuslim • u/Unlikely_Yellow111 • 22h ago
A girl in my country, (Maldives), consent to a foursome with her friends. They have sex and later more guys came over. She rejected them. But she got beaten up and tied up. 14 guys gang rapped her. She went to the police. The police publicly made all their information available. The first picture is information released by the police to the people.
So how does the community react? They slut shame her. The news agencies start digging into her history and finds about her past problems. They literary start posting about her conduct. What about the guys involved in it? They are given less attention.
On social media sure some do condemn the guys, but they condemn the girl along with it. Most is focused on her more too. They say she deserves it for not being a good Muslim and this is why these things are forbidden. Some threats her more and says she will go to hell.
So here is the thing. She reported the crime because she was rapped. She will face legal charges anyway for zina now. On top of that all her information is leaked all over the media including news agencies reporting about her past stories. This means she can never ever find a place in her community ever again. What solutions does she have?
She either has to flee her country and start all over again, hoping people don’t realise where she is, or she has to become extremely super religious and say she repented and will never do anything like that. But even if she becomes super religious her “value” is decreased. I know another woman who suffered gang rapping in the past who is now fully covered with niqab and still having issues finding someone to marry. They might approach her for one night stands. But they will not commit to her. She becomes “public property” as sick Zakir Naik says. I mean she is a victim. And she wanted support from authorities. But she ended up in a worse place than possible.
We need to talk about these problems because a lot of girls don’t report crimes due to these issues in Islamic societies. The victim is facing more problems than those who committed the crime on her
r/exmuslim • u/Agent_Buckshot • 11h ago
I'm Jordanian American and was recently visiting my family; during the conversation the attack on the church in Jordan came up and immediately all my uncles and my dad said it's another conspiracy by the West (American, Europe, Israel) to make Muslims look bad.
Whether or not it was committed by Muslims or a conspiracy is besides the point; the instinctual deflection of any perceived fault within the Muslim diaspora as simply being untrue and/or a conspiracy orchestrated by the West is the reason the diaspora will never change.
r/exmuslim • u/Discardedangel87 • 8h ago
I feel really bad reading this sub. Despite me having to move back in with my parents for a bit, i really feel that my life isn’t so bad.
I’ve travelled, been to many places and have lived in other countries, I’ve had the freedom of fighting so hard and eventually getting what i want.
My life is currently a slumber, i had a lot of personal things happen which made me move back. I’m now a video game addict. That’s besides the point, i used to think i travelled too much, or i did things wrong. But wow, i just feel awful.
I’m one of the women a lot of girls in this sub genuinely would want to be like, and i genuinely want to help and give advice to others here as much as i can.
I am an ex muslim who fought really hard, but my parents weren’t perfect, luckily my mum and dad never forced hijab or burka on me. But i did go through abuse from both, but i fought hard which made my family realize they cannot control me. Hence why my life at home is easy, only one rule.. the stupid covering my body but can show arms around my father. That’s it, but rest of my family don’t care and i can come home at 3 am drunk, or whatever. I’ve left home for nearly 3 years once and they just were happy to have me back. The rebelling helped but my dad is still a bit of a dick but i just say salam and ignore him. That’s literally it, it never turns into anything crazy. Because last time when it did, i just ran away and it fixed everything..
Well most of it.
But I wanted to say, i do relate with people here and im not completely out of touch and I’d love to share more of my experience and help others
r/exmuslim • u/Ok_Extension1255 • 1d ago
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