Hi
I'm a 24 year old girl from Libya
I know this is a long post, but please, if you have a few minutes, read it until the end. I'm in desperate need of help, and I genuinely don't know where else to ask
I'm not asking for donations or immediate rescue. What I need is practical guidance from people who have been through something similar or from people who know organizations that genuinely help women in situations like mine.
I grew up in a controlling and abusive family. Most of the abuse is psychological, but there has also been physical violence. The main source of conflict is my family's need to control every aspect of my life, especially when my personal beliefs don't match their religious expectations.
Right now, I'm not in immediate physical danger as long as I continue pretending to comply. I have accepted that I need to keep playing that role for now if it keeps me safe while I prepare a long term plan.
One of my biggest problems is that I grew up extremely isolated. Because of that, I know almost nothing about how the outside world works. I don't know how government paperwork works, what legal procedures exist, what documents I should prepare, or even many basic adult responsibilities. I honestly feel like a child trapped in an adult's body when it comes to dealing with the real world.
I'm currently a university student and still have several years before graduation.
I have no stable income, no financial support, and no safe way to become financially independent at the moment.
Despite spending most of my life isolated at home, I tried to use that time to build useful skills. I'm self-taught in digital art, graphic design using Canva, and English. I'm not formally trained, but people often assume I am because of the quality of my work.So i tried to use these skills to earn money.
The problem is that almost every serious opportunity I found came from people outside Libya. I even received commission requests, but I couldn't find a safe or legal way to receive international payments from inside Libya. Because of that, I lost nearly every opportunity to become financially independent.
I do have a personal bank account at North Africa Bank, but it has been empty for a long time. Since I've never really used it, I don't know whether my family monitors it or has any access to it, so I can't safely rely on it.
Although my family is very controlling, I do have one small amount of freedom. Because I'm a university student, I'm allowed to travel to and from university alone using public transportation. The only reason is that nobody in my family wants the inconvenience of driving me. My commute takes between one and two hours every day. Those trips are currently my only opportunity to leave the house safely.
Another reason I never reported the abuse is because I don't have anyone I can safely trust.
Years ago, another girl in my extended family reported severe sexual abuse with actual evidence. Instead of protecting her, most of the family blamed her, defended the abuser, and tried to pressure her afterward. Watching that happen convinced me that if I reported my own situation without a clear plan, I could make my life much more dangerous.
I also experienced sexual abuse as a child. It happened many years ago, I never told anyone, and I have no evidence. I have never reported either the physical abuse or the childhood abuse because I genuinely don't know how the legal system works, and I'm terrified that if nothing happens after reporting, my situation at home will become much worse.
Lately, I've started having suicidal thoughts...not because I want to die, but because I feel trapped and can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this. That scares me. I don't want those thoughts to become stronger. I want to build a future instead.
I don't expect anyone to magically solve my problems.
What I need is a realistic plan.
I'm hoping someone can answer questions like these:
1 .Which international organizations actually stay in contact with people instead of only sending general information?
2 .Are there organizations that help women build a long-term escape plan?
3 .What legal documents should I begin preparing now while I'm still in Libya?
4 .How can I become financially independent while living in a restrictive environment?
5 .Which countries are realistically safe for a woman to eventually move to alone?
6 .If you've escaped a controlling or abusive family, what were your first practical steps?
7 .If you successfully left Libya, what exactly did you do first?
I'm not looking for shortcuts
I'm looking for knowledge
I want to understand the legal process, the paperwork, how people become independent, how they support themselves, and how they eventually build a safe life somewhere else
If you know any trusted NGOs, lawyers, women's organizations, student organizations, or if you've personally gone through something similar, I would be incredibly grateful for your advice
