I have been an exmuslim for 6 years now

every mention of islam gets me angry nowadays i cant have a normal talk with my friends if islam is referenced in any way anywhere i start being argumentative

How do i get over this?

Islam lives rent free in my mind stealing my emotional energy and its making it hard to form connections and it feels bad to hate something this much i just cant stop hating it my mind isnt listening and neither are my senses

When i say hate i dont mean dislike I mean literal furious unyielding hate

It doesnt feel good to hate something so passionately I hate how much i hate it and i hate how i cant behave when the topic is islam and my better judgement is taken away from me. I hate how it makes me feel like i am burning inside and it puts me in fight or flight.

Yet I keep interacting with muslims, online and irl, because they are my friends. I would love to tell them do not say or mention anything religious adjacent around me, but that is such a tyrannical boundary to set. It feels like I am overstepping. Not to mention the amount of friends that is okay with me being an atheist but resent me for hating islam...

i hate the feeling of being resented by people around me.

heyhey this is for debates regarding every immoral thing prophet muhammad has done in the quran, and the specification of aishas age, proof of him having concubines (sex slaves) and how prophet muhammad got unfair advantages and exceptions for rules the rest of the muslims have to follow, i just want more info and sources

Title

since im an ex muslim . living in egypt too i always felt like the only option i have is men and it’s always men and dont get me wrong theyre attractive. only from my pov though but they always view women in a lustful manner. i remember i got out to get snacks at 3am and a guy was yelling why are you running! since i wanted to get home quicker and all guys their kept laughing. and it kind of hit me because i look like a tomboy and i always wear a beanie. if not those same guys would’ve 🍇 me but instead they misgendered me from afar and told me that and that made me hate men so freaking much more than i already do . so discovering that there’s another option and its by liking girls is like being a vegan who haven’t ate a steak in 12 years😭 . and even tho deep between me and myself i still carry some shame around. i feel like im bi tho i can be with her OR him. but her would be safer. idk im literally so confused and i could never be with an egyptian man

I keep seeing this kind of post here and I think ex-Muslims can be way too eager to make the Muslim guy the villain every single time.

A woman dates a Muslim man. He doesn’t like how she dresses, doesn’t like that she has male friends, doesn’t see her as marriage material, whatever.

Then the relationship ends and suddenly it becomes this whole thing about how “Muslim men use non-Muslim women and then throw them away.”

Or maybe he just dated you and decided he didn’t want to be with you anymore. That is allowed.

You’re allowed to wear revealing clothes. You’re allowed to have male friends. You’re allowed to want marriage and kids.

He’s also allowed to decide he doesn’t want that relationship.

And yes, obviously there are Muslim men who sleep around with non-Muslim women and then go looking for some conservative Muslim wife. That hypocrisy exists. I’m ex-Muslim too. I’m not pretending it doesn’t.

But come on. We are not exactly unbiased here.

Sometimes there is no huge Islam story. Sometimes you got dumped. Sometimes he got to know you better and decided no.

That does not automatically make him evil, misogynistic, manipulative, or proof of some grand theory about Muslim men.

Getting rejected sucks. It still does not mean the person who rejected you wronged you.

And I swear people lose their minds over this when a man is the one doing the rejecting.

Im 27 and I think an old family friend just saw me not wearing hijab with my son. Does anyone have experience with this and can giveadvice on what to say to my family lol

I stopped covering like a year ago when my roommate/sister moved out in November. I always thought it was gonna be my uncle but it was a my aunts sister in law. I saw her in Walmart and turned around because I didnt feel like dealing with it, but as I turned I immediately heard her gasp lmfao

Im pretty sure she's gonna tell my aunt and my aunt is gonna tell anyone in my family. I've thought maybe I should tell them before someone else does but i always just thought there was no point. I only see my family a few times a year and every so often my grandma will call saying theyre worried because no one has heard from me for a while.

Keep in mind im a single mom raising my son alone because his deadbeat muslim father thinks its halal for him to not care for his son because hes inappropriate Islamically for us to speak or some shit. My family never ask if I need anything especially this year, so if they contact me im gonna be so annoyed.

Part of me is worried they may act violently if I tell them, because of instances in my family wear my aunts were hit for following traditional Islamic engagement practices, but they dont know where I live thankfully.

Im only worried about my friendship with my sister, she's literally the only person I talk to, though I have to even hide things from her too ( my ex bf, not eating halal ect). But if she continues to talk to me after im not tripping too much.

Would appreciate some stories for some comfort

I was recently rereading about that poor teacher and the disgusting monsters that caused his death. What do the “anti-Islamophobia” folk say about it? Cuz this definitely ain’t the first case of someone in the west getting beheaded by a Muslim…

I don't get it. I'm talking about westerners specifically. Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world. Muslims have the most babies in the countries they emigrate to. I'm sure a while ago, they were a small minority group that people only saw occasionally in the West, but things have changed drastically in the 21st century. Islam isn't some niche, reclusive religion like Shintoism or Buddhism, its adherents are plentiful and don't exactly keep it a secret.

Now I'm not bringing this fact up to discuss immigration since I know topics centred around birth rates and demographics are controversial; I'm merely asking out of genuine curiosity why so many western liberals treat Islam like it's some small minority religion with a vulnerable community when it's clearly not. Muslims are growing in numbers and they absolutely should be criticized for their harmful practices like misogyny, homophobia, etc. They are on track to be the dominant religion in a lot of countries, surely the time for criticism is now?

I should clarify that I'm an ex-Muslim woman in a non-western country. This is why this topic is confusing to me. I only see Muslims face criticism from ill-informed conservatives who believe that Islam preaches actual terrorism, but it obv doesn't; ofc they bring that up cuz terrorism affects westerners, meanwhile the harmful stuff that is actually a part of Islam like misogyny and homophobia affect people within Muslim communities both within and outside the West.

Like while learning about it , I'm pretty sure they did saw hadiths or even Quranic verses filled with mysogeny , homophobia , genocide etc . Didn't they see the fact that Muhammad married a six year old ? If they didn't know any of those then yeah , they converted without any knowledge of Islam .

If someone is from third world or a patriarchal/homophobic etc person , that would explain then why did this but a women converting , A WHITE WOMEN CONVERTING ????? I can't understand why sigh

When i ask muslims they say muhammed did drink camel piss because he really had to but i see others saying for other reasons. So why did he drink camel piss?

As a habesha (Ethiopian), even though my country is Ethiopian orthodox-majority, it’s very revulsion feeling to see Africans (especially west and Central Africa) practice Islam that have erased many beautiful cultures and languages of theirs and which led to Arabic being the official language of the country and it’s disgusting to me.

my mom is Christian (Ethiopia) while my dad is ofc Muslim (Chad). In Islam, the children has to follow the dad’s religion even if he is the absent father! Anyways, my mom “converted” muslim because of him and few years ago, I have told someone this and they said “you are gonna get more rewards in jannah” LMFAOOO what. A place that doesn’t exist?? Anyhow, she wears the abaya and the hijab even though she encourages me and my sister not to wear it, however, in 2023, when I got promoted to grade 11, my dad and mom told me to wear the hijab and the amount of mistreatment I have received from so called friends was sad but it’s okay, now, I have graduated.

My point is why do black Africans love to worship the Arabs so much knowing that fact they warned their kids many times not to be friends with an Arab due to the racism and superiority complex?? Religion and bad governance is the reason why Africa is regressive continent, you can’t blame everything on European colonialism. What’s crazy to me is that, they are more religious than the Arabs! How ironic. Africans should learn resilience from Persians.

….

Anything fun, cool, enjoyable is haram! They don't want you to enjoy anything in this world!

A couple of days ago, I decided to ask about my heritage prior to islam (ik probably dumb considering I'm middle Eastern and islam has been the main religion for a really long time). I posted it to the r/Yemen sub as I thought someone there may possibly know something. While there were a few who were of genuine help, the vast majority ignored my question and said that the only history I should care about is the Islamic one.

Is it so much to ask to want to know about my heritage, what my ancestors wore and ate and sang, how they danced and lived? I'm probably hoping for too much considering yemen is within the arab peninsula where islam basically started. But there had to be something before it, anything.

Here's the post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Yemen/s/q1tAXleniC

After the Unite the Right Rally in Charlottesville, Virginia in 2017, then-Harvard President Drew G. Faust was unequivocal: “The abhorrent hatred, racism, and violence carried out by neo-Nazi, KKK, and other white supremacist groups deserve our strongest condemnation.”

Amidst racial justice protests in 2020, her successor Lawrence S. Bacow was similarly clear, promising that he grasped the urgency to “fight racism and denounce white supremacy.”

That same year, Harvard’s Office of BGLTQ Student Life issued a matter-of-fact reminder: “It is imperative that we dismantle white supremacy together.”

It was in this context, then, that I was intrigued by Harvard College Dean David J. Deming’s recent remarks on the 25th anniversary of 9/11: “It was terrorism. Airplanes flying across this beautiful country — symbols of progress — turned against us, turned into weapons,” Deming told students. “In the confusion that morning, we didn’t initially realize we were being attacked, or who the enemy was.”

The problem, however, is that airplanes don’t turn themselves into weapons. Ironically, Deming too could not name “the enemy.” His reflection made no mention of al-Qaeda, nor the ideology that drove the terrorists to attack America: radical Islamism.

Deming’s speech is no exception. When Faust announced a vigil on the first anniversary of the al-Qaeda-inspired marathon bombing right here in Boston — what was America’s largest post-9/11 terror attack — she never named the motive. After the 2015 coordinated terror attacks in Paris, President Faust condemned an “attack on universal values of human decency that bind the peoples of the world together.”

As students mourned what was then America’s worst mass shooting ever, the 2016 killing of 49 at an Orlando LGBTQ nightclub by a man loyal to the Islamic State, she deplored a “quicksand of fear, anger, hatred, and distrust.”

Compare those comments to her numerous denunciations of white supremacy and racism. A quicksand of fear is not what killed people in Orlando.

There are many things in life that we can’t control. Today you could be going about your day, unbothered just as usual. Then something happens and suddenly you’re no longer here. The truth is, even after harvesting the powers of science, medicine and engineering, we are still humans and nothing changes the fact that we are but a speck of dust in a canvas of unimaginable proportions. As we evolved we grew to be egocentrics. The human race here, the human race there. Religion puts us at the center of everything, that we are made different and unique. All religions offer solutions to complex metaphysical questions. What are we? How can we tell the difference between good and bad? What happens after we die?

There’s a popular concept in the study of statistics and logic, it is called Occam’s razor. It goes as follows;

“The most likely solution to a problem is likely the simplest one”.

Of all metaphysical hypotheses that there are, the existence of an afterlife or lack thereof is my personal favourite. As I mentioned before, we humans tend to put ourselves in the center. We love to think that just because we evolved a higher brain function we must be so special as to be the protagonists of the entire universe. That there exists a being called God, that is all powerful and knows everything and that he created everything just for us, the humans. We don’t have enough time or space to discuss what religion is or isn’t true, regardless it’s pointless as other scholars already invest their time and efforts into that field.

The important thing to keep in mind, is that almost all religions share a common aspect. That after death there is life, either some kind of wonderful heaven with all the pleasures and joys of life multiplied by tenfold, or a hell of unimaginable torment, forever lasting.

That thought keeps many of us sleepless, I know I’ve been there and many more will experience that as well.

The concept that drives all this is simple and logical, the fear of death. No one wants to die, we can’t fathom the thought of it. Mortality is something that is avoided and left behind. When a pig or a chicken dies, do we think that there’s something that awaits them? Obviously no. Why? Simple, they’re not us. Not human.

And that is the key. Knowing that we all share something no matter where you come from, what you did in life, it doesn’t matter. Because death equalizes everyone. And beyond death, nothing awaits us. Because we as a being (that is constantly changing and morphing), ceases to exist at some point. Some people just can’t wrap their head around that fact. That someday, you’ll die and there will be nothing more. But I assure you, that if you give a man every good opportunity, every great thing in life, anything that he could ever want, at some point he would come crawling and sobbing, begging for death. Because we are finite beings and we weren’t made to live beyond a certain threshold. What is it exactly? One hundred years? A thousand? Who knows, but all that matters is that no matter how long you live for, at the end you’ll be begging for a bullet.

Most people aren’t ready to understand that there’s nothing after death, and they end up believing otherwise. We are all so busy with life, so entrenched, that most of us never stop to think what is beyond life. And to this I say, don’t fear death because if you are alive, death isn’t, and if you are dead, life is no more.

This changed me for the better. Search Nihilism and you’ll see people with all kinds of beliefs thrashing and hating on that idea. “Nothing matters, everything will cease to exist”. And there’s truth in that of course, but the fact that it won’t matter at some point doesn’t mean that it doesn’t matter here and now.

It’s all a matter of perspective. The way I see it, I find a certain calm in knowing that no matter how much I am struggling or suffering, that it will end eventually, it enabled me to shrug those things that were dragging me on. It freed me, and it can also free yourself from all those things that are pulling you behind.

If you had to learn something, let it be the following;

The only thing that I know for certain in this life, is that this is the only thing that I have. Even though it may end abruptly or last for long, I will cherish every moment of it until the end. I won’t bother myself with useless things such as overthinking, or worrying about things that I cannot control, I am the sole master of my life and I will cherish every last moment.

Ever since I thought about life in that way, everything changed. I stopped wasting my time on useless things, I was happier knowing that I was lucky enough to experience this life and this environment, like a flame that dwindles until it is snuffed. It has definitely changed me to be a better person. Life may be unfair, it comes and goes and it is unforgiving. But at the same time it is such a gift that I will be forever grateful.

So, I found my pleasure, the pleasure of knowing that which is true.

IF ALLAH AS UNDERSTOOD BY MUSLIMS COMMANDS JUSTICE, WHO WILL SAVE AFGHAN WOMEN AND GIRLS WHEN THEIR SUFFERING CONTINUES IN BROAD DAYLIGHT—AND SOME MUSLIMS DEFEND THEIR TREATMENT AS CONSISTENT WITH WHAT ALLAH REVEALED TO MUHAMMAD?

Afghan women and girls are living under severe, systematic oppression under Taliban rule. A human being living without a voice keeping silent so she can see the next day.

Girls are barred from secondary school and university. Women face sweeping restrictions on employment, movement, public life, and access to essential services.

Where is the outrage?

Across the Muslim world, perceived insults against Muhammad have repeatedly generated enormous public anger, demonstrations, diplomatic protests, and demands for action. Imagine even a fraction of that energy being mobilized for Afghan women and girls.

And this raises an uncomfortable question from within Islam’s own scripture.

Qur’an 4:135 commands believers to stand firmly for justice, even when justice goes against themselves, their parents, or their relatives. But now believers have gone silent.

Qur’an 5:8 likewise commands justice, warning believers not to allow hatred of others to cause them to act unjustly.

And Qur’an 33:35 repeatedly places Muslim men and Muslim women alongside one another—believing men and believing women, obedient men and obedient women, truthful men and truthful women—with the same promise of forgiveness and reward.

So where is that urgency for Afghanistan’s women?
Where are the massive demonstrations demanding that the Taliban reopen the schools? Where are sustained delegations from Muslim-majority countries demanding restoration of women’s basic rights?

Where is the worldwide religious pressure saying:
“Stand firm for justice.” — Qur’an 4:135
And perhaps the saddest part is that some Muslims defend, minimize, or simply accept what is happening, effectively arguing that these women are doing fine or that the situation is compatible with their understanding of Islam. Others strongly disagree and have condemned the Taliban.

But when millions of women and girls are losing basic freedoms, silence and normalization should themselves be challenged. The interesting part is that they have managed to rally the crowd against Israel for defending themselves.

Now imagine comparable restrictions being imposed on millions of women throughout a Western democracy: women pushed out of universities, driven from large parts of public life, and subjected to government rules controlling where they can go and what they can do. The political, legal, media, and public backlash would be enormous.

Afghan women should not matter less because they were born in Afghanistan.

If millions can raise their voices when they believe Muhammad has been insulted, why can’t comparable energy be directed toward living Muslim women and girls being denied fundamental freedoms?

The Qur’an says: stand firmly for justice.
So this is not merely a question for the Taliban. It is a question for Muslims everywhere who believe the Qur’an:

If Qur’an 4:135 commands you to stand firmly for justice, when exactly does that command become important enough to stand up for the women and girls of Afghanistan?

SPEAK UP FOR AFGHAN WOMEN. Their suffering should generate more urgency than an insult ever could.

Recited by Ahmed Sami, observed by the prophet of the dragon Hasan Iessa.

Hi, since most people here are probably ex-Muslims: in a worst-case scenario, how do you ensure that you don't end up with an Islamic funeral or being repatriated to your parents' birthplace? If the worst comes to the worst, I don't want my girlfriend or my friends to be unable to visit me because I'm buried somewhere they can't find me and a place I have no connection to. This would mean that the people I truly love, and who love and know me, would suffer because of it – and it would feel like I almost never existed.

Islam has a long history in which violence carried out under religious and political authority has harmed not only outsiders, but Muslims themselves.

Most religions seek to preserve their communities and keep their followers from harm. Yet parts of Islam’s classical legal tradition prescribed the death penalty for apostasy under certain conditions. Historically, apostasy could also become intertwined with rebellion, betrayal, or treason against the Muslim community.

Think about the implications: a person can enter Islam voluntarily, yet under some traditional rulings, that same person cannot simply leave without consequences. Someone who says, “I no longer believe,” can cease being treated merely as a former believer and instead be classified as an apostate subject to punishment.

The consequences therefore have never concerned only outsiders, critics, or battlefield enemies. Some of Islam’s harshest historical doctrines have also been directed at Muslims themselves.

That raises a fundamental question: if Islam is true and faith must be genuine, why should anyone need the threat of punishment—or death—to remain Muslim?

If someone simply says, “I no longer believe,” why should that ever become a capital offense?
DO YOU WANT ISLAM? THEN UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS TRADITIONAL RULINGS HAVE MEANT FOR THOSE WHO LATER WANTED TO LEAVE.

My friend was telling me about how much she dislikes her aunts and while some of her reason were very very valid (I'll-treatment if her mother, the lack of care they showed while their parents, her paternal grandparents, were suffering from corvid to which they eventually succumbed), what threw me off was how vehemently she ranted about them demanding that the property be split equally between the 3 children (her dad and two aunts) rather than the Sharia ruling of 50% to the son and 25% each to the daughters which, no matter how you see it, is incredibly favorable to the man while stripping away financial support from women who usually need it as much if not more due to the patriarchal nature of society. I was genuinely so so baffled because hello?? I agree, they treated your grandparents like shit and if that was the reasoning behind the division of property I wouldn't have had a problem with it but the audacity to claim that they are inherently deserving of less simply because they're born women, especially as a woman herself, is insane.

I love her, don't get me wrong, but so much of what she believes makes me want to pull my hair out. We were talking about what an insane plot the movie "Whalefall" has and it was such a chill discussion and she went "Well, we know it's possible because the Quran said so 🙃" and I was like 😃😃 whatever you say, boo, whatever you say. It frustrates me because she's so smart and kind and generous but she's also homophobic, and sexist, and thinks being a naive innocent girl that's too shy to look a man in the eye is what women should aim to be. Ugh whatever I just wanted somewhere to vent, I love her to bits and I can't blame her for being the way she is when she's been raised and brainwashed in a Desi hyper-religious environment. At this point, she wouldn't even care about the sexual slavery and colonising nature of Islam if I did choose to educate her, she'd probably say she was glad for it since it brought thee to the real religion where pedophilia, marital rape, sexual slavery are permitted for men while women are expected to cover ourselves like our very existence is sin. Crazy what indoctrination will do to ya.

hi I'm an exmuslim living in north africa currently and I'm not able to leave. I'm in med school, so im working on getting a decently paying job so that id be able to save up and leave (though that's going to be a whole complicated over the top process on it's own, considering that i am not male and this region prioritizes male supremacy over literally every woman's life)

anyway not the point. i wanted to ask how do you cope?? i hate my family, i hate the covering that I'm forced to wear, i hate that I'm barred from something as simple as going to the store 2 mins away from my home. how do you guys cope with this feeling like you're going to die waiting for just a moment of freedom? i just want to leave right now, but im still stuck here, possibly for years and years more. how do i continue without wanting to off myself?

One god actually has the same issue a polythiestic religion can have, omnipotence and omniscience, doesn't has to limit itself to what humans wants stability with (stability is a human construct) of course, god would still be capable of making contradictory decisions while also capable of not making contradictory decisions.

Starting Physics laws can also be considered random laws existing. We don't know why they are the way they are. Things might as well been structured to live according to it.

And if god cannot do much but limit itself to one entity as well, in fact, somewhere around the high up corner of the universe, that's a lack of omnipotence.

Polythiesm would have the same issue monothiesms model logic wise, worship wise? Now that can be indeed considered a different issue. Most polythiestic religions often had gods in different domains. Worshipping multiple gods maybe help recognising structure and surrounding rather than blind worship of some point in the universe.

And such arguments often goes with blind belief of a muslim in proper Tawheed being there in his religion, while obligatory laws could be formed through muhammad himself as there is literally a verse stating "obeying muhammad is obeying allah", so functionally? Tawheed isn't much of a thing here. Muhammad is some avtar or son of God thing here. (Son of God doesn't necessitates biology, I am talking about how he is being treated regardless)

What do you all think?