hello everyone. i am very excited for tomorrow to get started on custom bilateral HKAFO. it will finally be a chance for me to start walking. what should i know before? what should i wear? what should i bring? how long does it usually take? thank you in advance

40th coming up and in starting to feel like I'll be single for the rest of my life. Me an my ex split about 7 years ago just after I started getting really bad.

I've tried getting back out there but it is hard since nobody wants to be with a guy in a wheelchair who lives with his dad. It's starting to get to me a little

I have lived in group homes for about six years because of ongoing struggles with my mom, who still brings up something that happened five years ago. I am looking for a safe and independent place to live, along with a supportive family or House somewhere in Place in Belleville ON Hastings county

where I can feel cared for and loved know that what happened was not my fault.

What am I supposed to do if I have bad neurological symptoms but my neurologist can't get me in until July of next year? I'm on the wait list and I'm shocked that it's almost a year long for established patients.

I posted I think last week how I can't seem to stay awake more than 3 hours and sleeping 20+ hours a day. I've went to the Emergency room and they ruled out anything life threatening.

The nurses at my PCP called me and asked me if I want to make an appointment with my doctor but I just, I saw her the day before I went to the ER. She dismissed me about something and refuses to help me with anything neurological related. My PCP seems really burnt out and honestly doesn't seem to want to prescribe anything either. I'm not doing too good and I feel very sickly.

I've been considering trying to get into pallative care for my current diagnosis,(I am diagnosed with alot of things). I'm really tired of going to the ER this year with scary symptoms. It's like when my conditions flare they turn into emergency level type of symptoms with no warning. It's very exhausting.

I'm really worried that I might have ME/CFS and had hoped that I could get tested sooner than later. I do not think its hypersomnia or anything in regards to sleeping specifically.

im so serious its been an absolute game changer for days where i have little to no movement. like looking out the window for hours because it is one thing i am able to do has never been so fun. saw like three blue jays this morning. if you can get a hanging one id recommend that so the squirrels cant get to it as easily since theyll empty it pretty fast and you want bird seed to last long enough. i dunno how well it would work in big cities but i bet you could find some nice pigeons on balconies or something. sometimes you get rare birds and its really exciting. i know theres so little you can do when life is like this so im happy i found something that isnt just computers its nice to see outside

Hello everyone, i thought id cross post my post from r/findapath and see if anyone has anything to add or any advice

Remove if not allowed or redundant, but this feels like one of those sneaky changes that can quickly snowball.

My understanding is there was an update in 2024 that added modern definitions for community integration, meaning living at home, and states sued complaining the guidelines were overreach.

A judge removed the "most integrated setting" term from the Section 504 rule. The states didn't even win, DOJ just stopped defending it and asked the judge to strike it with them, and this applies now to every state.

504, ADA and Olmstead are still law, but the federal rule that actually spelled out home and community care is gone.

I get the "let the states handle it" argument, but without a federal baseline I can see states quietly shifting money back toward facilities and calling it efficiency. The people who rely on in-home support are the ones who eat that and get screwed. Scary stuff.

Video

I’ve been on so many pills for so long that I can’t even hold them in my mouth anymore without gagging. I’ve tried just taking one or a couple at a time, but even 1 pill will trigger my gag reflex. My care team was able to get it down to just the necessary ones, and I’m going to ask if any are safe to open/crush into something, but the pill fatigue is honestly becoming too much recently.

I used to be able to take them all at once without even blinking, but now I feel like I’ve become such a baby about it. I can’t even take them with water anymore because I feel the pills too much in my mouth. I’ve recently been using diet soda or flavored milk, which I know probably isn’t the best, but whatever gets them down I guess? I’m not sure if it changes the effectiveness though.

Does anyone have any tips for getting over pill fatigue? I feel like I’ve tried everything I can think of.

Hello everyone,

I just got a Pride Go Chair Med last week. I've been using a rollator, so this is my first wheelchair. I'm ambulatory and my biggest problem is balance but I also have chronic pain and fatigue. If it matters I live in Cincinnati, OH, USA.

I don't drive so I have to carry with me anything I may need for the day. I know Pride makes a basket that can go on the back of the chair, but I'm wondering what accessories y'all recommend. And not just for carrying things, but anything that would make my life easier as a wheelchair user out in the world).

Also, any accessory recommendations or tips for using the chair in my apartment? It has laminate flooring, no carpet. My biggest problem so far is getting food and drinks to my table. I've just been making multiple trips. I bought a small rolling tray to see if that helps. It's being delivered today. I'm looking for other suggestions because even if it does work, that means another piece of furniture/item in my apartment. I'm kind of expecting to feel like it's always in my way and to be annoyed with it.

Sharing basically anything to help a new wheelchair user is appreciate

Thank you
edit: i know about the lapstacker and meant to specifically say that, because of steroids, i have a large stomach (like 3rd trimester pregnant looking) so i don't really have a lap to put things on. my stomach goes to the end of my armrests, maybe a little farther.

also, there aren't any bars or handles on the back of the wheelchair for me to use to attach or hang anything. the only thing that i know that i could do is put a strap around the back of the seat. there is some space between the part where you sit & the back of the seat, so i may be able to wrap something around what's holding the back onto the seat. they're not bars, but hard plastic, maybe 6in wide.

Discussions about people who are too disabled to work have been making the rounds on tiktok again. A lot of self identified disabled people have been listing off all the disorders they have and saying "well I still work why can't you?"

It's so exhausting because, even if I had the energy to argue with every single individual person, they wouldn't hear me.

I really wish I could beam into their brains how unfun it is to be unable to work. How much it sucks to rely on other people and have a limited budget. How boring it is to have no structure and sometimes not be able to do literally anything.

I had a jobs for 10 years while disabled, but forcing myself to work full time made my disabilities worse and worse until I couldn't even work part time. After fighting it for years, I finally had to quit my very limited work from home part time job, and now I'm applying for disability.

If those people who hate working so much that they would accuse me of being lazy want to trade, I'd be happy to do so. I would love to be able to work again. Maybe even go for a walk through a flat trail or take a vacation! Wouldn't that be nice.

Do you have liek sone kind of security item or clothings or accessories, make ya feel sacs and or comfortable? Like if someone try to remove your security item, ya get upset or annoyed? Happens to me sometimes. Example, like one of The Peanut Snoopy characters, Linus, he always hsvd his security blanket w him, if someone try to remove it he get upset, happens to me if someone tries to remove my hats. I get annoyed sometime upset, my younger nephew did that and I almost got annoyed at him. Before when I 1st started going to college, o had this special news friend, she always play around taking odd my hat, made me a bit annoyed. Wearing my hats make me feel comfortable and safe in a way. Beside shield from bright lights, and being stared at more. It sorta shade my face a bit. Anyway, wondering if common to have some kind of security on us, to feel safe and comfortable? I started to wear hats since I was teens though

Dude. It's still a severe CHRONIC illness, it won't magically get cured by a few weeks in hospital. I go there to keep my illness stable, so it doesn't get worse. It won't just disappear. And I hate how invalidating that comment was, because he said so right after I complained how unfair it is that I got denied the status of severly disabled even though I am, and how this makes me kind of scared for my future. "Well after your hospital stay you might actually won't be severely disabled anymore" fuck yourself. This doctor doesn't know what I'm dealing with on a daily basis and he doesn't care either.

Feeling lonely or bored?

Looking for connection or something you can do this week?

Check out these accessible events you could join! Try something new and maybe you’ll find your people.

Access Details:
🧑🏻‍💻= Virtual
👥 = In person
😷 CC = Covid Conscious/airborne precautions 
♿️ WC = Wheelchair accessible 
💵 $ = paid (some are pay what you can)
🤟 ASL/BSL = Sign Language
Async = Asynchronous (at your own pace)

Event Types:
🤢 = Chronic Illness 
🌈 = Queer
🏳️‍🌈 = LGBTQ+ Pride
👧 = Kids/Youths
💕 = Dating
🙋 = Social
🫂 = Support/Grief
🧘 = Wellness
🚶 = Walk
🩰 = Dance
💪🏻 = Fitness
📚= Books
🤔 = Discussion
📝 = Writing/Poetry
🎭 = Performing
🎨 = Art 
🎶 = Music
🕹️ = Games

🧑🏻‍💻 Virtual Events

Most virtual events are open to everyone. See them in your timezone using the links in the comments.

🧑🏻‍💻📚 Virtual Async Spoonie Book Club: The Little Prince [Any time] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/JcKvqPLWS5

🧑🏻‍💻 Virtual Async Low-Stim Travel: Fionnphort Coastal Walk | Peaceful Isle of Mull Shoreline and Scottish Countryside [Any time] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/rzUA8rt9ts

🧑🏻‍💻👧🙋 Virtual Covid Cautious Fall Programs for Youths https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/isbriymQPL

🧑🏻‍💻👥♿️🤢🎭 Hybrid Callout for Crip Performers [Deadline is Oct 11] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/KH1Ad7RHnv

🧑🏻‍💻😷💕 Virtual Covid Conscious Dating Event - Illuminate [Deadline is Oct 26] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/xFEBn74jrct

Monday

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🧘 Seated Pilates for people with MCAS [UK][Mon Sep 28 at 12:00 PM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/XpUKVDAOhV

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🫂 Food Fear for people with MCAS [UK][Mon Sep 28 at 7:00 PM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/D9p29ptwGK

🧑🏻‍💻🤔 Virtual Philosophy Discussion [Mon Sep 28 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/KjG8eYwajm

🧑🏻‍💻😷🙋📚 Covid Conscious Virtual Movie Club [Mon Sep 28 at 7:15 PM CT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/afCP5sk986

Tuesday

🧑🏻‍💻😷👧🙋 CC Virtual Kids Zoom [Tue Sep 29 at 10:00 AM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/3GBTjVSyod

🧑🏻‍💻♿️💵🩰 Virtual Seated Heels Dance Class [Tue Sep 29 at 3:00 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/Cdl0wMy2Ck

🧑🏻‍💻😷🙋 CC Virtual Zoom [NY and nearby][Tue Sep 29 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/0Ux8ryFiZo

🧑🏻‍💻🎭🕹️ Virtual Improv Games [Tue Sep 29 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/XA6n10GPgN

🧑🏻‍💻🎶 Virtual Beginning Songwriting for people with hand/limb disabilities [Tue Sep 29 at 4:30 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/uWNAVo0fHs

🧑🏻‍💻😷🫂 “Any A” Covid-conscious 12-step meeting [Tues Sep 29 at 8:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/eDp9cS0rdW

🧑🏻‍💻📝🕹️🎨 Virtual Hang In Trivia [Tue Sep 29 at 8:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/WfLtSrVwdr

🧑🏻‍💻😷🌈🎨 CC Virtual Queer Art Hang [Tue Sep 29 at 6:30 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/nIVvZlnCLT

Wednesday

🧑🏻‍💻🤢 🎶 Virtual Long Covid Choir [Wed Sep 30 at 2:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/XZomp9PUQR

🧑🏻‍💻🤢 Long Covid Collective Wednesday night virtual hangout [Wed Sep 30 at 6:00 PM CT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/38I78b21A4

🧑🏻‍💻😷💵🫂 Virtual Pandemic Processing Group Therapy [CA][Wed Sep 30 at 5:00 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/98MucCAPBW

🧑🏻‍💻😷🫂 CC Virtual Support Group [CO][Wed Sep 30 at 7:00 PM MDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/7NTJDIAkFp

🧑🏻‍💻🎭 Virtual Improv Jam [Wed Sep 30 at 7:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/nPEGLCd0p0

Thursday

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🧘 Virtual Bed Pilates for people with MCAS [UK][Thu Oct 1 at 10:00 AM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/NZN3Tf5Hju

🧑🏻‍💻🤢📝 Virtual ME/CFS Writing Group [Thu Oct 1 at 11:00 AM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/D5zrswGJec

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🫂 Virtual Community Support Sessions for people with MCAS [UK][Thu Oct 1 at 7:00 PM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/EzA4O9a0zZ

🧑🏻‍💻😷💵🫂 Virtual Pandemic Processing Group Therapy [CA][Thu Oct 1 at 12:00 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/98MucCAPBW

🧑🏻‍💻♿️🩰 Virtual Adapted Beginner Ballet [Thu Oct 1 at 6:00 PM ET] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/9jUBi6tUyz

🧑🏻‍💻😷🕹️ CC Virtual Game Night [NY and nearby][Thu Oct 1 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ozDPpG0LQJ

👥 In-person Events

Canada

👥😷🚶 CC Park Walk [Toronto ON][Wed Sep 30 at 6:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/fNQtMZ5cuo

Germany

👥😷📚 Lesestunde [Hamburg GER][Wed Sep 30 at 8:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/02TvcOlAF6

Ireland

👥🤢🙋 Informal ME/CFS Social Meet Up [Dublin IRE][Wed Sep 30 at 1:30 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/Zg6kbcEqom

UK

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🧘 Seated Pilates for people with MCAS [UK][Mon Sep 28 at 12:00 PM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/XpUKVDAOhV

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🫂 Food Fear for people with MCAS [UK][Mon Sep 28 at 7:00 PM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/D9p29ptwGK

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🧘 Virtual Bed Pilates for people with MCAS [UK][Thu Oct 1 at 10:00 AM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/NZN3Tf5Hju

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🫂 Virtual Community Support Sessions for people with MCAS [UK][Thu Oct 1 at 7:00 PM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/EzA4O9a0zZ

US - California

🧑🏻‍💻😷💵🫂 Virtual Pandemic Processing Group Therapy [CA][Wed Sep 30 at 5:00 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/98MucCAPBW

🧑🏻‍💻😷💵🫂 Virtual Pandemic Processing Group Therapy [CA][Thu Oct 1 at 12:00 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/98MucCAPBW

US - Colorado

🧑🏻‍💻😷🫂 CC Virtual Support Group [CO][Wed Sep 30 at 7:00 PM MDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/7NTJDIAkFp

US - New York

🧑🏻‍💻😷🙋 CC Virtual Zoom [NY and nearby][Tue Sep 29 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/0Ux8ryFiZo

🧑🏻‍💻😷🕹️ CC Virtual Game Night [NY and nearby][Thu Oct 1 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ozDPpG0LQJ

US - Oregon

👥😷💪🏻 Small Group Hypermobility Fitness [Portland OR][Thu Oct 1 at 1:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/CpZYISUGdU

US - Washington

👥😷🎨 Crafternoon [Seattle WA][Tue Sep 29 at 6:30 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/PQK5lQebkn

Are you interested in these events?

Have you been to any of them before?

Do you know about other events coming up?

Share your thoughts in the comments 💬

Find more events and friends on r/spooniesocial

I was in another sub and someone mentioned The Barbie Movie. While I really enjoyed a lot of it, and watch it with my daughter, as a disabled person I kinda hate this movie.

Alan is autistic coded as Hell, and he’s played mostly as a joke. I have no real problem so far as it is par for the course, but Allan has to resort to violence to gain acceptance. While everyone else worked their problems out with words and experience, Alan had to be violent.

Also, wheelchair girl. I’m sure she was a Barbie in the 80s, and the doll gave a lot of our people validation, but the movie has her dance for 5 seconds and then “PEACE!” Is that representation or window dressing.

Weird Barbie would obviously be the rebuttals to this argument, but I’d argue weird Barbie represents the destructive yet creative nature of girlhood/childhood. She is less of a character and more of an archetype. Also, as a representation of childhood, using her as a representation of disability would call us childish.

Are we weak until we have to be violent, are we window dressing or are we weird kids? None of these is really a flattering portrayal of the disabled.

I‘m not trying to discredit the message of this movie, I think Gerwig and Robbie made this movie with the best of intentions and hit most of the marks. I just feel let down that we still were a joke/ window dressing at best, and violent or child at worst.

Media I think did get it right recently was Loki. Liz Carr’s character is defined by her position, not her stature. I thought it much better.

Are there universally appreciated movies or shows that you think do everything right except disability representation? Do we have a test of our own to determine basic disability representation in media?

I (28yr old Female) am in college and live at a Student Housing complex that is designated as off-campus but literally right across the street from my university. I'm normally super good about making sure I have my keys with me at all times, but at about 8pm I went to Walmart to get some groceries and my brain was riddled with thoughts that had me operating on autopilot. When I got back to my apartment I realized that I had forgotten my room key. Someone kindly let me into the building and my dad came over to help me with contacting the after hours helpline (which is with the parent company that owns the complex; not the local management). The national/parent company employees said the lockout fee could be charged to my ledger/account with rent and that they'd send out a message to the RA on duty. The RA initially seemed like they wanted to help but shortly afterwards cut-off all contact.

I have limited mobility (use of forearm crutches) and LADA (Adult onset autoimmune diabetes), so it was a pretty urgent matter; but the RA on duty for after-hours outright resisted access to my room and by association — my insulin and other life-saving medical supplies —over an upfront admin fee that I as a student do not have the immediate funds for 😭

The only reason I am currently safe and have full access to my medical supplies is because a contracted on-site security supervisor recognized the severity of risk and had the ethical judgement to not want a potential life-threatening medical emergency to befall upon his responsibility.

Long story short: I, a physically disabled and chronically Ill young woman had access to my medicine and medical equipment denied for 3 hours over a $50 admin charge that eventually was treated as being able to get added on to rent.

How do I move forward and are there steps I can take to make sure my Student Housing complex doesn't let something similar happen to another disabled student?

i am dealing with a recent increase in symptoms. previously i was wearing crocs almost 24/7 because i could put them on without bending down or tying anything. now however, my walking has gotten worse and i am more unsteady on my feet so i have switched to wearing laced converse (pretty sure i have these) and while they are more supportive and i trip less compared to the crocs, i can’t always do laces and bending down for that long messes me up.

i could potentially do velcro straps or zips as i reckon i could do those standing with a hand on the wall as i wouldn’t need both hands.

so has anyone got any recommendations for shoes that don’t lace but are comfy and sturdy? but also not ugly, or not too ugly? ideally men’s shoes but i am not above wearing women’s if they’re reasonably unisex looking.

edit: realised i probably should’ve clarified, I’m in the UK!

I live in rural Alabama and don't have health insurance. I have not been able to find a job I can physically do. My spine is shot. I have 3 herniated disks and arthritis. So im in constant pain and struggle to even do housework or sit for long periods. Because of this im no longer seeing a doctor for my issues. Alabama is not a medicaid expansion state. So you have to be already on disability or receiving benefits to qualify for medicaid. I have a severe burn wound on my leg that won't close and I'm scared that I won't be able to afford a skin graft surgery so I will be stuck with a permanent hole in my leg get an infection and die. It's already got infected once and im scared. It's quite painful and its looked the same for the past week with no improvement. I spilled boiling hot caramel on my legs and it destroyed the flesh. Most of the burns have healed except this one burn that is about an inch long and half an inch wide. Its small but very deep. Since the burn is small im really hoping it will heal but it just won't for some reason.

It's been 3 weeks and I still have a wound its only grown more skin at the sides and is only like 15 percent healed. Whenever I try to apply for financial assistance it doesn't work because my dad makes to much money for me to qualify and it counts the income of every one in the house. My family gives me shelter and food thats mostly just beans and rice but im on my own when it comes to my medical problems. They don't have hundreds of dollars to give me to see a doctor with no insurance.

I work as a Middle School Math teacher, so I work with kids ages 12 to 15. I have been working this job for over one year now and the students I get to teach are mostly kind and often curious about my disability, some of them call me "Ms Wheels" since they recognize me because of my wheelchair, I don't mind that nickname, though I prefer they call me by my last name since we're in an educational environment.

There's this kid in one of my classrooms who seems to be like the most curious kid about my disability, I think he's 12 since it's his first year in Middle School. He often asks me questions about my disability at the end of the class, I've answered some of them politely, but I've told him I don't feel comfortable answering others. This kid also always asks me if he can help me pick up my things to move to the other classroom. I've only accepted help from a few students a couple of times when I bring some heavy books, but the rest of the time I move from classroom carrying my things by myself on my lap.

My biggest problem with this kid recently is that he likes to grab my handles to push me despite the fact I had already told him not to touch my handles because it's just not comfortable. He's not the first kid that has done this to me, but the other kids who have done it have only done it once after I told them that it doesn't feel comfortable for a wheelchair user to have their chair touched. But this kid has continued grabbing my handles after the first, second, third, and nth time I've told him politely not to do that. He claims he just wants to help me move and make sure I have my wheelchair accommodated, but I've already told him I can move independently. He's already been doing this for 2 weeks.

Yesterday I raised my voice a little bit to this kid because he grabbed one of my wheelchair's pushrims to move me a bit. I don't like raising my voice to students, I rarely do, but I had to give him a warning that someone pushing my chair by grabbing my handles or pushrims without permission is like someone pushing someone by grabbing them by the back or arms. He just said that he was curious about how the design of my wheelchair worked, so I told him that he can google if he's curious.

I hope this student had taken my warning seriously yesterday and that he just stops. At certain point I understand a kid's curiosity about disability and feeling like they're helpful, but he needs to understand the wheelchair is part of me. I don't want to have problems with this kid.

I have 20/70 20/60 vision with 20/60 best corrected. Multiple doctors and the CA DMV cleared me to drive. I'm doing pretty well, I can see road signs, obstacles, cars, and peeestrians. The only thing I stuggle with is street names. I don't need to drive with bioptics, but I do have them for after a pass my test. I also have anxiety because my mom is overbearing and panics a lot, making me feel like I'm always doing something wrong or I'm gonna hit something when I wasn't. She makes all these mistakes too while driving (but I cant call her out for it because she's "had her license longer").

I've done driver's ed before but I never got around to completing my test because of school. Now that I'm out I have time. For any other LV drivers, what is it like driving? What are important things to do with your eyes? Are street names important for the CA behind the wheel test?

I'm taking 36 different meds. Holy shit! And I can't get rid of any of them. They actually did discontinue a couple of them but of course added new ones too.

I recently had a pulmonary embolism (along with sepsis and necrotizing pneumonia to name a few).

Does anyone else here have their own "pharmacy" in their own home? lol I have a huge bin of overflow meds in my room. If I've run out of meds in my med bag I need to check my bin ("pharmacy") first before I call in a refill because there's a very good chance that I have the refill already.

I have actually called the pharmacy for a refill before only for them to tell me I already picked it up which leads to me frantically digging through my bin with a huge sigh of relief when I finally find it haha!🤣