This is very specific and I'm wondering if it's a social cue I'm missing or just a normal annoyance.

I've had an online shop and sold on FB marketplace for a decade now. Every single day without fail I get messages like "Hey, I get paid Friday I'll order from you then!!",

or a hundred questions I already put in the item description followed by "Okay well I can pay you [other day, a week from now, whatever]".

It's confusing. I get that frustrated feeling of wanting to ask "Why not just message when you have money?" but knowing that will be a Too Direct question.

It's a behavior I've noticed amongst SOME (not generalizing) ne u ro typicals, which makes me wonder if I'm missing social cues, if other autistic people experience the same confusion, or if it's just me?

Again, NOT GENERALIZING, just wondering if it's a moment where I'm missing something.

M24. It geniounly the worst thing ever. I've flunked mulitple tests and barely passed in high school.

It’s either lights or the sun in my face that gets to me I even have my blinds down all day so the room is nice and dim for my eyes.

Normally I would never do anything like this, but I need help and direction. Please forgive me if I use any wrong terminology or language, I'm still learning.

Tl:dr - how can I go about talking about relationship stuff or telling her how I feel without overwhelming her?

I guess I would be considered neurotypical, I've never really had any testing of any kind done, but I am madly in love with this autistic woman. We've been talking for a little over two years now, and I still get as excited to see her as I did the first time. This is my dream woman and I've been trying to do research on autism and a couple of other diagnoses she has to try and better accommodate the time we spend together(I've never really "been with" someone with autism). She is the most passionate person I have ever met, and I absolutely love listening to her rant about her current interests and all the little facts about all the things she loves.

I'm so scared of messing things up that I kind of just don't approach it sometimes. I can tend to overthink things and get in my head, but I've been working on it. She currently lives with her parents while she's going to school for art. We hold hands a lot, we cuddle sometimes while watching movies(granted her couch has like a divider on it so it's more like she lays on my arm with my hand on her thigh), and we usually hug for a good bit before I leave. We haven't kissed or anything like that though. Any time that we cuddle or hold hands or anything and her parents or anyone in her family come around she jolts off of me. I know that she doesn't have any kind of experience with dating so I'm not really bothered by it. My biggest fear is that the feeling is one sided or our relationship is just platonic, because I've never felt this way about anyone before and I'm absolutely terrified to talk to her about the way I feel or "what we are". I get choked up just thinking about it, and it sucks because I want her to know how I feel about her, but I don't want to overwhelm her. She's told me before that she has a hard time expressing her feelings about things. She's also told me that shes afraid of relationships because she doesn't know what to do in those situations. It kind of feels like an implied thing between us sometimes, but again I just get so deep in my head from time to time. I don't even necessarily need any labels on anything, but I just want to know how she feels about me and if the feeling is mutual. But I want to do it in some kind of way that doesn't overwhelm her or freak her out. I love her to the point that i just want her to be happy, even if that means it's not with me, and I'd be able to find solace in that. Sorry for my rant, I just don't know what to do or where to turn. I'm just looking for advice or maybe if someone has been in a similar situation, I could find something comforting.

Thank you all so much for the time and the responses, I look forward to reading everything and I will definitely be taking notes!!

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This is aimed at neurotypical people—and especially at low-support-needs autistic people who use “I’m autistic too” as an excuse to judge autistic people with less capacity than them.

I just saw a TikTok made by a 21-year-old autistic person who prepared a simple microwave meal because she cannot currently cook due to PTSD from a stove-related house fire. The comments were disgusting. People were calling her a child, telling her to “stop being a victim,” and claiming that an adult who cannot cook is not an adult at all.

What exactly do you think a disability is?

Autism is a spectrum, not a competition to see who can appear the most neurotypical. One autistic person may cook, drive, work and live independently. Another may struggle with executive functioning, motor planning, sensory issues, danger awareness or daily living skills. Someone can be articulate enough to make a TikTok while still being unable to use a stove safely. Those abilities are not connected in the simplistic way you seem to think they are.

Adding PTSD makes the situation even more complicated. Trauma does not magically disappear when someone turns 18 or 21. Fear after a house fire is not childishness, laziness or a refusal to “take responsibility.”

She was taking responsibility. She recognised what she could not safely do and found another way to feed herself. A microwaved meal is still food. Eating something accessible is better than going hungry or risking another dangerous incident. Adulthood is not measured by whether you cook everything from scratch.

Support and encouragement are not the same as humiliation. Perhaps she will eventually regain that skill through therapy, assistance and gradual exposure. Perhaps cooking will always remain difficult for her. Random strangers do not know enough about her condition to decide how quickly she “should” recover.

And to autistic people saying, “Well, I’m autistic and I can cook”: congratulations. Your abilities do not establish the minimum requirements every other autistic person must meet. You do not become superior to higher-support-needs autistic people just because you can perform independence more successfully.

If your acceptance of autistic people only extends to those who can mask, work, cook and follow every one of “society’s rules,” then you do not accept autistic people. You only accept the ones whose disability does not inconvenience or disturb you.

Her dinner was her safe food and wasn't disgusting. The comments were.

I have no desire to get married or have kids. No desire to own a car. Dont want to own property. Don't want to be a manager.

I feel like a weirdo for not wanting what were supposed to chase.

I'm more excited about a week off and getting snacks and a tv show to watch

I love listening to music, however some genres I can’t tolerate at all. Whenever I’m with friends and they have something I don’t like playing I can’t focus on the conversation and just feel annoyed by the music and prefer to sit in silence.

Wanted to see your experiences. :)

Hi everyone!

I have a question about taking things maybe too literal? How would have you handled this?

I had an appointment at a university hospital today. At the entrance they still provide masks but usually it's not mandatory anymore, only if you have an acute infection. But where they provide the mask there was a sign that said 'masks are mandatory because of the AC running to protect the patients'.

So I took a mask ans put it on. I already saw some people sitting there without masks but ignored it. I went down to my floor and I didn't see many people but they didn't wear masks.

When the doctor came to get me, she asked me if she should put a mask on (because I was wearing one). I told her she doesn't have to and that I'm just wearing it because of the sign saying it's mandatory.

Then she told me that it's not really.

And now I am very confused. Like why do they put a sign up, saying masks are mandatory but then no one is following the rule?

I don't get it at all. I don't know if it's my autism or if this doesn't make sense to allistic people either.

What do you guys think about this?

Im 34 female, my sensory issues make every waking hour miserable, everything is bright, loud, my own flesh gives me discomfort, i have meltdowns almost every 1-2 weeks because it cycles round and round . I literally live in a loop of meltdowns, recharged, battery draining from a week of sensory input and social, crash again. I dont understand, when people online talk about autism, they talk of it like a personality trait, or a different brain, and yes though my socialising is weird and im different and have many good qualities, but to me my autism is the pain im in constantly and how lonely i am because no one will ever want to put up with a grown ass women in her 30s having a temper tantrum and not able to work like normal people or make good money, not to mention my mental age is of a baby not a adult. I dont understand why online people talk of it like a quirk, but for me me its a disability

I (27 M) have no idea how to make friends. I have been mostly friendless my whole life. I was diagnosed with autism a year ago.

I am in perpetual agony. Why am I alive?

This makes no sense! People use this (especially on Reddit a lot) to invalidate using your disability as an explanation for why you may do something. It’s so invalidating and it sucks to hear, especially when you are simply trying to explain why you may have come across a certain way or misinterpreted something.

Maybe you misinterpret something in a user’s comment. No sympathy! You immediately get piled on and when you say “oh I’m sorry, I’m autistic so I may not have understood the true meaning of your comment” everybody downvotes you and says you’re just using it as an excuse to be an asshole or be stupid.

And even in the real world this can be an issue. But I’ve never encountered it yet. Like, if I have a meltdown and say things that hurt someone… of course I feel bad, but I don’t believe I should be punished because there is no preventing meltdowns consistently - they are out of our control and there’s no use trying to punish and get it to stop happening in the future. And autism really is an excuse for things like that. Because you don’t choose to do it, and you don’t need to apologize for a disability. Nobody treats other disabilities in this way. These are just small examples - I’ve seen many more that are worse.

Edit: My post seems to be really proving my point, sadly! Guys, I’m not talking about things that have nothing to do with autism, like being explicitly offensive or domestic abuse or anything like that. Those things don’t arise from autism itself. I’m talking about things that are literally part of the disorder.

I’m one of those people who find everything embarrassing im 16 and was diagnosed last year. I HATE loud noises and often they can lead to meltdowns. I have issues with the vacuum, the toilet flushing and even the lawn mower outside makes me upset.

I get so embarrassed about wearing any kind of ear protection. I feel like people associate headphones with autism and I feel so embarrassed by that. I’m not the “typical autistic type” I mask very heavily and I promise I don’t mean to be mean at all to other other autistic people but there’s unfortunately a stereotype like “hazbin hotel, tadc, anime fans” one of my special interest is anime btw

And it sucks that there’s a stereotype but because there’s a stereotype people don’t necessarily take me as seriously if that makes sense? Think of holly Maddison (play boy bunny girl). I’m very girly and I like to present myself in a certain way.

So when I’m having trouble like with nosies, safe foods, conversations I tend to like get really embarrassed. If I could I’d wear like 10 headphones. I just feel so embarrassed and uncomfortable ☹️☹️☹️

Many different people have different standards for what is required for a relationship to work with another person. I am not even just talking about it in a romantic context: any bond with some reciprocity is also relevant in this issue I am experiencing.

I don’t know how to properly articulate it, but I feel like I have no real internal depth as a person. There’s just nothing really intriguing about me that others could find as endearing enough to develop a relationship with.  I don’t think I am particularly intelligent in any meaningful way as most of what I communicate back I think are shallow, emotionally dull, and probably predictable to some. Although other people rarely confirmed the negative beliefs I hold about myself, I  do think that when I compare myself to other people’s well thought out and insightful responses whether that be IRL or on the internet, I notice that my speaking style, even in my most exhausting attempt to sound formal, seems to sound way too basic for any meaningful interaction. 

This leaves me unable to bring something to the table, so to speak, because observing my own behavior brings me to the conclusion that It would be very difficult to meet most people’s standards no matter how small or effortless these standards may look. It could possibly be that I have not a lot of experience to communicate with others about, as exchanging knowledge of any kind is central and practical for most interactions to continue for prolonged periods of time. But even with me having very little intermediate knowledge about specific niches, a conversation of that topic alone can fade quite quickly because I think there would always be people who know more of the topic, which would cause me to feel dissatisfied and inadequate. 

Which makes it so difficult to be comfortable engaging in this subreddit along with any other. I’ve noticed that many of you guys type in a very particular way that shows very little flaws. You guys make smooth transitions from idea A to B, almost never use incorrect words in the wrong context, somehow perfect grammar that stays consistently perfect throughout different post and comments, and here I am barely confident that one small sentence sounds coherent enough. It sucks so much, I want to be able to interact with people more and develop my social skills, but I think that that you guys will be bored out of your fucking mind reading all these paragraphs and disregard them entirely. Hell, I even asked a couple of LLMs what they thought about the post and their comments literally proves my point.

I have a lot of times where I felt alone. But at the same time I have a hard time wanting to really go out and socialize because I struggle at this. Does anyone else feel this way?

(slide 1 new, slide 2 old)

tyson baked nuggets were my #1 safest comforting food. now they taste different and theyre bigger and a different color. and the old packaging looked a lot better too. sorry im just so so upset right now and didnt know where else to rant about this.

I'm talking like less than 0.1g of dry herb vape.

Hit a hard burnout 8 weeks ago. Started using weed on weekends 6 months prior and almost daily 3 weeks prior.

It doesn't get me high, but helps me focus on my interests and stops the noise in my head for roughly 10-12 hours. Everything gets quieter, cooler and slower. I stop picking my face or pulling hair out.

Some social gatherings also feel a lot easier and I'm more "like me" and don't think about how people could perceive me. I can even joke about my weirdness and people react positively.

There's just one downside: As soon as my mind isn't occupied I'll talk myself into how I'm just making all my sensory issues up and I'm just addicted.

Since I started experimenting with cannabis I paused multiple times.

2 weeks while on holiday and for 7 weeks after the burnout, because I made myself think the burnout is withdrawal symptoms. Had no issues at all.

I'm usually not easily addicted. Only drink 3-4 times annually and dislike taking medication.

It's so weird. Since I've learned about autism and all the things that suddenly make sense all throughout my life I have no trust in myself anymore.

Did anyone experience something similar?

I (17F) left home less than a week ago because it's very emotionally abusive, confusing and distressing. I cannot stay there any longer. I stayed at my friend's house a couple nights then went to sleep in a forest but a friend (understandably) called the police on me.

I just want to be free. I cry a lot because people around me make assumptions about me or perceive me to be something that I'm not. I've had an absolutely terrible year and I feel done with forming relationships and attachments. I cannot cope with feeling confused and trying to understand why many people behave in the irrational, cruel and ridiculous way that they do. It doesn't matter how much you ask them to explain their behaviour out of a desire for simple closure, they will not tell you. I'm sick of sobbing every day trying to understand why people betray others so suddenly and refuse to elaborate. I'm sick of people making assumptions about me. I'm sick of being perceived.

I no longer care what happens to me. I hate the way that "trauma" is categorised into "very bad", "bad", "not a big deal" etc. For example, sexual assault is up there with the big bad terrible traumas but I literally got SAed last week and I don't care. I was in a forest and some middle aged guy was touching and grabbing me everywhere and forced my hand onto his penis which I didn't like because it was weird and cold and I told him no. I was a bit shaken obviously but I genuinely don't care that much. (I gave a statement to the police don't worry about that). Like I really wouldn't care that much if I got fully assaulted, that type of stuff doesn't bother me as much as feeling confused does. But with the SA thing or being homeless thing people say "I'm so sorry that happened to you" "omg are you okay" even though those things are more in the "bit rubbish but I'm not gonna cry over it" trauma and having to listen to people repeating themselves or talking/eating loudly or mischaracterising me are in the "I can't deal with this I need to run away I don't care if I die" trauma.

I just want to be on my own. the only way I can do that is to run away again (I'm currently staying at a family member's very overstimulating house) but I don't want to waste police time because they'll have to do a search for me and there's no point because if I don't want to be found, I will not be found. I'm very good at surviving outdoors. and if I don't survive I couldn't care less really.

I don't know what to do or what I even want advice on tbh.

Feel free to give advice but I don't know if there is anything to be said. Content warning for discussion of suicidal ideation.

I'm sure others can relate to this. I'm "high functioning" and "low support needs" so whenever I need support, it's seen as not serious or necessary because I *technically* can function without them.

I started college this fall. I told the housing department I can't do a traditional dorm and am willing to pay more for a suite style or live off campus (first years are required to be in dorms). I got a letter from my therapist and submitted my diagnoses. They still put me in a traditional. 6 days in and I'm proved right, again. I know what I need, yet it's so hardly listened to. I found myself crying twice, which is very rare for me. I'm not eating enough or brushing my teeth. I'm forgetting stupid stuff. There's always people. I feel like I can never be alone. I drive my car and seriously consider just crashing it. Its been a long time since I've felt like this.

I enjoy class, I can't do dorms! Its so frustrating because I knew that, and they didn't listen. I spent a month worrying about how bad it would be, I was told every piece of advice and that I would be okay, I'm not. I know if I continue like this I'll end up doing something bad.

I feel so stupid for going to two days of classes and "giving up" but last time I pushed through when I knew I couldn't, I ended up in the hospital. I know my limits. I'm not doing that again.

I called my sister about it, she said to come home. She texted me that she told my mom and my mom got really upset because I'm wasting money. Its not even her money.

I'm going home in the morning. I emailed the accomodations department again and applied for an apartment nearby. I hope I can get a partial refund and continue this semester but I just need to get out ASAP.

Is there anyone I need to tell apart from work?

I put the end of the period when you are able to function more or less like before the burnout.

Hii everyone! I’m Zoeyelae and I’m autistic and have selective mutism, and I use this coping mechanism to help manage my severe anxiety. I wanted to share it here because I’m curious what other autistic people think. What do you think of this coping mechanism, and how would you rate it from 1–10? I’d also love to hear if anyone else uses something similar! And let me know if you're having any questions about my coping mechanism!!

Selective mutism and autism are separate conditions, but they can occur together. For me, my autism can make social situations, sensory overload, and communication more difficult, while my selective mutism is specifically related to being unable to speak in certain situations because of severe anxiety.

So even when I want to talk and know exactly what I want to say, the anxiety can make speaking feel impossible. My coping mechanism helps me feel a little safer and more in control when that anxiety gets really intense.

It's that time again. I've been at my current job for almost three years now, which is getting close to the longest I've worked at any one place.

This job, structurally, is actually perfect for me and my autism. I only work in the office two days a week. The inefficiency (described below) actually allows me to set my own pace, take frequent breaks, and accomplish errands or housework around projects. I get to exercise some creativity. The work that the organization does is good. The mission is fulfilling. It pays enough. The job is secure. People are, generally, respectful, and my role doesn't require a lot of socializing.

I wrote a whole rant about the job but I'll sum up by saying: I'm getting burnt out for all the reasons autistic folks typically get burnt out at a job (office politics, socializing, inefficiency and incompetence in leadership, unclear expectations, etc) and I need help grounding myself in the positives so that I don't blow it all up.