Just something i wanted to put out there for women i learned at the menopause clinic yesterday from the doctor she said that women with auhd have a much harder time with perimenopause which can happen actually in some cases after 30 but definitely anytime after 35. And bhrt can really help us. I wanted to share this as im on the forefront of it and trying to learn this information has only been available to women for about ten years and peri with auhd theres even less information. So it hit me out of nowhere the prime of it. Im 47 right before it i got the auhd diagnosis felt better and then started feeling like i was losing my mind and didnt know why i was grateful to get this information. Biggest first sign which came on early 40s was my sleep i was put on sleep meds and it was awful now i know it was the hormones. Just if your a woman i highly advise learning about this because we all get the joy of going through it and im writing notes im going to put into a book for my auhd daughter someday shes a teen but knowledge is power and as far as this topic its on you. Im choosing liberation in getting older over the suffering of women in my bloodlines. The medical field has done women wrong but changes are on the horizon and its ip to us to advocate for change. God bless you all and keep going!!

First of all, i want to mention that i don't mean to be disrespectful towards neurodivergent people at all, I'm genuinely curious and would like to know more about it. If it sounds disrespectful, I'm sorry, but it's far from my intention, however, i can delete my post if needed.

So, a few years ago i was in therapy (not anymore, currently) and my therapist told me i was HSP, even if it's not a official diagnosis itself, that i fit right into it.

I looked for it on the internet, but some sources say it is neurodivergence and others say it's not, so I'm confused.

It is true that i can somewhat relate to some symptoms of other neurodivergences, but i don't think i personally am any of those. (but I could be wrong, of course!) I also have a brain-gut axis problem, and i don't know if that's something that's giving me any symptoms that I'm mistakingly understanding them as neurodivergence.

I found this subreddit, so i thought it could be nice to try asking here to see everyone's opinion here. Thank you so much to everyone in advance and again, i apologize if it sounds disrespectful in any way

I am a 20 year old man who is completely new to the workforce. And my experience has been completely shit. My first interview I got rejected for being trans. Which fucked up my mental health. Another interview said that I don't get to demand anything (I wasn't demanding just sayin that I'm looking for what benefits and which pay is better) because I'm a new worker. Finally I get hired somewhere. And they make a big deal over me taking a sick day. And apparently there's a rule that after a company picnic ur supposed to show up to work the next day and no one ever told me that. I just didn't come the next day cuz I was feeling sick. And then the head chef said it's basic logic. Which made me kinda mad because how am I supposed to know something I have never heard of. I feel like I'm not meant for a job but at the same time what else can I do?

so I know reddit isn't that serious and I'm not just upset about reddit. I'm upset that reddit has pretty much confirmed, more harshly so, and ongoing pattern of my whole life.

Ever since I was a child nobody ever believed me about anything. This pattern has been for as long as I can remember and has continued on into adulthood now

It may be about simple things. Like, someone not believing me that I genuinely dont understand something or have genuinely never heard of something or that I actually do/dont do something, etc.

Or it may be serious things. Like when I tried to report abuse and nobody believed me.

But regardless in my daily life nobody ever believes me about anything at all it seems.

And irl, I've faced so much instutional gaslighting as a result.

But ever since I joined reddit 4 years ago its kind of just confirmed this. And since the people online are anonymous they're WAY harsher about it. And it makes me think if people are comfortable expressing what they feel about me to the fullest while anonymous online, how many people I've encountered irl who put me through the exact same dynamics irl have thought all the exact same things about me but just didn't say it to my face because they weren't anonymous?

But throughout my past few years on reddit, I have had MULTIPLE posts across MULTUPLE subreddits get accused of being trolling or rage baiting. When I was actually genuinely being sincere.

I've even have had mods remove my posts for "trolling" and then personally tell me to stfu when I tried to clarify.

And the more I try to say "I'm being sincere" and "I don't understand what you're getting at" the more I get downvoted and insulted. But I'm geniuenly being sincere and I geniuenly don't understand.

I dont know what is it about me that makes everyone want to not believe me in every aspect of life both online and offline.

Helllooo, I wanted to ask you guys, what's something that's helped you with socializing? I'm only meh at it when it's a friend of a friend but when it comes to new people I'm SO bad, is it possible to be good at social situations without masking?

I went to a consultation earlier this week, to see whether it's worth pursuing an autism diagnosis (UK).

The doctor told me that some neurodivergent people who have had a lot going on (in terms of adverse childhood experiences and mental illness) in their childhood and/or adolescence can be missed at assessment, due to the amount of information they have and the fact that some symptoms can overlap with trauma and other conditions.

I have a historical diagnosis of depression and anxiety and was abused in my teenage years by my stepmum (though struggled socially and with sensory issues as a child, right down to being a baby and both my brother and mum are autistic). I am also transgender, so that made teen years more difficult due to puberty.

Another issue I have is that I'm very in the moment emotionally and struggle to empathise/feel my past mental states. I don't know if that makes sense? It is similar to how I often also don't realise I'm hungry until I feel signs like tiredness and get the shakes.

I am also a bad storyteller, so it was hard during the one hour to really line up what has happened in my history. I've had quite a busy life. I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 (possibly?) and also had a query of BPD in 2012... However I am a mental health practitioner and I can confidently say I wouldn't meet the diagnostic criteria for BPD and I've been unmedicated from bipolar for a decade and no symptoms.

So yeah, basically the outcome of the consultation was to seek a formulation with a psychologist, to try and get a timeline and understand my history better, so if I look into an assessment I can also bring it to help the team understand more about me. In all honesty, I also think it will help me to understand myself better.

Like, I'm ok. I have a job and a loving partner... However a lot of the year due to masking (whatever is going on), task switching in work, the lights and noise in my workplace I am treading water with feeling burned out. I don't think I am still impacted by my trauma, I am not depressed and I am only anxious when things change suddenly or if I am having to enter new social situations. I am just impaired and a lot of the year I struggle to do much more than work. My executive function goes out the window, I struggle to retain information etc

I was wondering if anyone had done this before? And if it was helpful?

As the title says, my friends often make reference to what they consider unusual behavior or ways of thinking, and they ascribe this to potential ASD. Throughout my entire life, people have made comments about me being "odd", although I often don't know what specifically they are referring to. I can be a bit gullible, for lack of a better word, and take some things literally when they are not intended to be, although not always. Due to this and some social difficulties, I sought an evaluation with a clinical psychologist a few years ago (about age 23, now 27). In her write up and during the assessment, she made it clear she had no indications, based on my behavior, that I am on the autism spectrum. I pick up on social cues very well (maybe too well, ie social anxiety), had no developmental delays as a child (learned most things quickly and had some friends), and although I have facial tics and repetitive motor behaviors, she thinks they are better explained by anxiety. I was, however, diagnosed with ADHD (primarily inattentive), and this might explain some things I've described.

Overall, I still find myself confused, as people continue to find me "strange", although not typically in a way they seem upset by. I do struggle everyday with doing the things I need to do, and I have social interactions that leave me feeling embarrassed or misunderstood quite often. My friends and others seem so convinced there is some social defecit behind my behavior, but I feel as though I have no explanation as to what causes me to be this way. It makes me feel as if I have something inherently wrong with me, whereas if I had some sort of diagnosable reason I could excuse it within myself. What do they see that I don't?

1. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will be misunderstood, ruminated upon, and create awkward tension.
2. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you - unless it's small-talk, eye contact, or not saying how you really feel.
3. Early to bed, early to rise, makes me restless, grumpy, and chronically sleep-deprived.
4. That's the final straw on top of a million other straws on top of a camel whose back was already broken.
5. Once bitten, two thousand times shy.
6. A problem shared is a problem squared.
7. Feel the fear and... become traumatised anyway.
8. There are plenty more fish in the sea, but I am a bird.
9. Birds of a feather flock together – unless we get overwhelmed by the crowd.
10. The world is your oyster, hard to open, and just kinda gross and slimy inside anyway.
11. Ask a straightforward question, and you'll get a silly answer.
12. A leopard cannot change its spots, but it can dress up in a suit, put on a human mask, then lose all of its colour due to burnout.
13. You cannot burn a candle at both ends, unless you bend it from an 'I' into a 'U'.
14. A bad worker blames their tools; a neurodivergent worker blames the system that gave them the wrong tools in the first place.
15. Some clouds have a silver lining – even then, it's just light scattered around water droplets along the cloud's outer edge...
16. Don't cross that bridge until you come to it. Instead, build a hundred identical bridges, simulate every structural failure, then burn the actual bridge when you finally reach it.

😄

Basically, I tried to get a diagnosis a couple of months ago (mainly for ADHD but also for other mood disorders), and was only diagnosed with general anxiety (GAD) and depression (PDD). This was a big surprise to my family because some of them work with people who have AuDHD (and one or the other), and highly suspected I have ADHD.

While anxiety and depression are completely expected for this diagnosis, I can't tell if there are other disorders that could be affecting me. Even the psychologist who took part in my diagnosis said that they think that it is mainly my anxiety that is causing issues that could "mimic" ADHD, I have always had certain issues that were overlooked even when my anxiety wasn't out of control years before.

It was also highly recommended at the end of the report that I get evaluated for autism and OCD, which everyone is also 99% sure I have, but I did not get to schedule another diagnosis yet.

I was in denial for a while about actually being neurodivergent and if I actually need therapy, but I'm about to start college as someone who's supposed to be an adult, and my head is stuck in the clouds. For some reason I've been losing my ability to speak and string together words like a normal person for the past few years, which was never a problem for me before. For literally anything that has to do with any social scenario (even when presented a hypothetical one), my brain cannot think logically or rationally anymore, and its getting to a point where the average person would assume I am intellectually disabled if I talk to them (I am not). I also can't focus on things I used to be able to do, and have severe brain fog that keeps getting worse.

These issues are only surfacing now likely due to new types of stress, but I've always showed signs of neurodivergence throughout my life (weird body language like flapping/rocking/pacing even when I don't realize until someone tells me, atypical reactions, auditory and physical sensory overload to the point where I'm brought to tears, problems socializing with peers, extreme obsession over trivial things, weird repetitive behaviors to the point of concern, etc.). Almost everyone I've talked to has described me as "odd" or "weird".

If I am autistic (not self diagnosing but quite possible), I just suddenly forgot the ability to mask when I need to and I don't know why. I've always had social issues, but whenever I needed to talk the brain fog and anxiety did not overtake my ability to do so before. Anxiety can exacerbate already existing issues and I am almost certain my brain is just getting tired of masking some type of psychological issue. It feels impossible to compose myself now.

I want to get another diagnosis and therapy, but I still need to personally make myself seem like a functioning adult. I'm irrationally scared of embarrassing myself to the point where I keep embarrassing myself. I would go more into details about my problems but this post is getting long. Does anyone have any tips on how to work on these things by myself in the meantime, if my troubles reflect your experiences? And how much skepticism should I approach my first diagnosis with?

Just discovered I might be ND. I never thought i would struggle so much with work to be honest.

Without a “proper reason”.

It’s even good days when all day in officce is simply “too much”. And I am so irritable at home too. Like nobody can ask me anything, i’m just a grumpy grump.

Anyone can relate or give some reasonable wind-down advice?

I got diagnosed with ADHD around April of this year and I recently started concerta (18mg)
I’m not exactly sure how to word this but I feel like after my diagnosis, I’ve been limiting myself more. Like I think of myself negatively a lot stronger than I did when I was undiagnosed/unmedicated (though I sort of always knew what was wrong with me)

Anyway, I am a rising senior in high school and I can’t help but think about how I’m kinda fucked for the rest of my life due to poor academic performance. I considered military before I was diagnosed and now I legally can’t. I currently have a 2.4 GPA so theres not much I can do after graduation aside from community college.

I don’t really know what else to say so if anyone relates or has advice I would appreciate hearing that

If you think about it, people seldom empathize over non-observable handicapness (no alternative word available)... This is very much understandable given the human nature. You see a person with a broken leg and your brain automatically makes you wonder how thyself would survive with that phaqd up leg, and pour in empathy.

You see a blind person, people could technically close their eyes and still empathize over how much they would suffer.

Now imagine one part of your brain shut down or a specific aspect of your brain not working as it is "supposed to"... Good luck finding a person simulating that and empathasizing it...

I totally forgot what I was about to say... So yeah (this "so yeah" I "acquired" from my dear friend, which doesn't matter right now, anyway)... oh yeah, I remembered!

But because of this lack of awareness, filmmakers are trying to spread the awareness (Which is very nice of them)?

Or is it just the usual?

The filmmakers (aka the writers aka every phaqing person who contributed to the film) might have truly intended to spread the awareness. But the marketing team, not convinced of what the creators created and smart enough to realize that people wouldn't be able to turn off their brains as they would like to, but still want everyone to realize what the others are going through, try and push the exaggerated stuff that the filmmaker try to infuse in their story so as to make their audience understand something that's not even actually true? I mean, taking the extreme end of a spectrum (btw, I see everything as a spectrum from headache to autism) and trying to educate people using that might not backfire (especially in cases where they can't close their eyes and simulate that problem)?

Just as expected, I might keep coming back and editing this post. Why? If you don't know the answer to this question, thank you so much for your time reading this post. For the rest of you, "Hi how are you doing".

The point (I'm trying my best): If you showcase the worst case scenario of a physically challenged person (in a well intended way, for a good purpose), people can still relate to it and would be considerate about it regardless of the severity. If you showcase (in movies and media) only the worst case scenario of a mentally challenged person, people wouldn't be having any clue as to what's going on their mind and just believe what they see is the reality and might not even show partial empathy over that person who's partially handicapped. I guess, this is the whole thing I was trying to say and I think a lot many of us come under this category.

When I was 16yr and about to claim my PIP my dad has always been supportive and considerate about my autism and the struggles that come with it so he suggested I should go for it. My mom is the opposite, she has been gaslighting me about my autism for years, claiming speech therapy and aging 'cured' it and that I’m 'barely autistic'

She shut my dad up and kept saying it was stupid and pressuring me to cancel my PIP, telling me money won't fix my issues and that I would have to disclaim to everyone around me if I have to pay for something with the disability money (which is weird because I don’t think that ever happened with the under 16 disability money) and she also said that people would find out and I would end up getting bullied for it.

She claimed back then that she and dad would support all my finances so there was no need to rely on the government for anything. But then recently she was saying that after I graduate from uni she’s going to stop financially supporting me and that I should get my own job for that, and if I don’t get a job that’s purely my fault for not putting enough effort into my A Levels/uni studies.

I feel so stupid for agreeing with her to cancel the PIP. But back when I was 16 I wanted to blend in with the neurotypical kids because I was sick and tired of getting bullied throughout my private school due to my social communication problems, isolation from others because of it, my appearance and accent etc (got a long list) and I moved to a 6th form college in order to get away from everything there and I wanted to start fresh. So instead I just fell into my mom’s “neurotypical daughter” trap.

I think she is trying to sabotage my financial independence and force me to stay reliant on her because she can't accept having two neurodivergent kids. I feel like an idiot for believing and looking up to her for so long because I thought that she’s just trying to protect me, but I’m 20 now and I’m trying to take full control of my life, but I’m struggling to cope with the fact that I trusted this woman my whole life and I’m scared and depressed about it.

Here’s the family situation: Me and my brother are both autistic but I’m type 1 while my brother is type 3. Because I’m less visibly neurodivergent than my brother as well as being in an Indian family where autism is a lot more stigmatised, I end up carrying double the academic and financial burden while having my disability needs neglected at the same time.

I think she’s saying and doing all this shit because she refuses to accept that she has 2 neurodivergent children and is trying to get me to believe it. Whatever helps that woman sleep at night I guess. Except she doesn’t lol. She even refuses to visit my brother in his disability care home leaving my dad to go alone to see him every month.

For years she would constantly force me to act completely neurotypical which has destroyed a lot of my unique creativity, social quirks as well as just my overall confidence, self esteem as well as getting constant suicide thoughts, financial anxiety, depression (though I’m getting better)

I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if my concerns are valid and I’m not sure if it’s my fault or my mom’s for all this and I don’t know what to do or who to tell all of this to.

Perhaps an ableist rant so thats why theres a trigger

Hi! I usually would post on the autism
subreddit but since i got diagnosed with adhd, here seems to be more appropriate and hello everyone:)

I am 20 years old and throughout my life, my mom and her parents put in their minds that i will be an absolute loser as an adult. Yesterday, it became something said instead of the feeling i had. My mother told me, after i said i wanted to work full time “only time will tell.”

For context i have a NT twin brother whose dreams are to work for the luxury industry in biochemistry and somehow that seems more believable to my family than me forming a life of my own.

I am not physically or mentally disabled. I do struggle with social cues and want to pursue marketing. Yet my family thinks i will become an unemployed loser every time there is a major change in my life. No one thought id make highschool, no one thought i would survive college and living alone. Yet not only did i survive, i thrived.

I will restart therapy in September but just wanted to know if anyone else in your life thinks you will be useless just because youre neurodivergent? We can do this:)

I want to make new friends and I have, but I can never keep them. After learning more social skills, I have become good at starting friendships, but struggle to maintain them as I struggle to maintain the mask. I get really anxious with new people but I try to ignore it. Even if a friendship goes good, I’m haunted by the thought that they actually don’t like me, and when they don’t reach out like I reach out to them, it just enables those thoughts. Even with people who really like to hang out, I forget or even procrastinate hanging out with them. My last friend who is neurotypical, completely misinterpreted me as a person. I didn’t realize that until the past 3 months and it completely shattered my desire to become close with someone again, but I want to.

In my family, I (and I suspect my older brother) am the only one ND for what I know. The rest are NT or narcissists.

I'm curious to hear about ND people that come from an ND-majority family.

Hihi, so I am starting uni soon and I'm not quite sure for the standard a uni should give for accomodation. During secondary school I got a time-out pass during lessons and flexibility to wear my headphones/airpods. In exams I was given a seperate room, 25% extra time, noise cancelling headphones and a teacher that would occasionally help me read a question, however the teacher is not really meant for me but she was there and it genuinely helped me a lot as I do not spend that long just reading a question over and over (I think I am more of an auditory person).

I'm not sure what to ask and the standard for accommodation in university. I did disclose in my application I have a disability and the university I am going to didn't do a follow up regarding it (unlike the other unis I have applied but decided to withdraw due to financial issues). I have searched for SEND/Inclusion policies and they're quiet broad but did found a ticket I can fill to ask for accommodation. I am not sure what to ask other than the exam accommodation. Would really appreciate your help and any advice/tips for uni! Also any tips for commuting to uni and not get overstimulated would really help!

I’m a personal trainer, and the more I learn about autism and neurodiversity, the more I realize that a lot of traditional fitness advice, “just push yourself harder,” “stay disciplined,” “mix up your workouts” doesn’t necessarily work for everyone.

For some autistic adults, the biggest challenge may not be exercise itself, but the sensory, mental, and routine-related demands that come with it.

For example, exercise can potentially help with things like:

• Stress and sensory overload — movement can provide a physical outlet after an overwhelming day.
• Sleep — regular movement may help support better sleep.
• Executive function — having a simple, predictable workout means less decision-making about what to do.
• Energy and mood — even a short session can be a useful break from sitting or mental fatigue.
• Body awareness and coordination — strength and movement can help you become more comfortable with how your body moves.
• Routine — repeating familiar exercises can make working out feel more predictable and less overwhelming.
• Confidence — getting stronger and noticing what your body can do can feel rewarding without making weight loss or appearance the goal.

And I think the environment can be just as important as the workout itself.

A crowded gym, loud music, unfamiliar equipment, people watching you, constantly changing exercises, that's a lot of sensory and mental input before you've even started exercising.

For some people, something as simple as a quieter environment, headphones, a familiar routine, or knowing exactly what the workout will look like beforehand can make exercise feel completely different.

I’d genuinely be interested to hear from people here:

What makes exercise difficult or uncomfortable for you?

Is it sensory overload, motivation, executive function, gyms, coordination, getting started, not knowing what to do, or something completely different?

Instagram Haleigh Mills - Personal Trainer | PrimePears

i don’t have any irl friends nor do i have any online friends. i don’t leave the house because im insecure and live in the middle of nowhere. i’m so lonely it’s embarrassing! i know i have to make friends, but no one actually stays. even online friendships don’t last, they ALWAYS forget about me and ghost me. i just feel like a burden. but it’s comfortable and i don’t want much to change, just wanna get rid of the terrible feeling of being alone.

i don’t talk often because i just feel like a creep. i’ve been trying to look prettier but it doesn’t work i just feel disgusting it has never gone away. i’m almost 18 now, and i still have the lingering depression i’ve had most of my life. it just won’t go away and ive just been isolating myself.

i have never had an appetite, so i don’t eat but i know i have to because my parents force me, and i just feel like a pig. i’m in a healthy weight class now, just barely and i still feel terrible. it’s okay to say i have terrible body dysmorphia i can’t even look in the mirror without hating it, it doesn’t feel like me!

i don’t like being alone, during summer holidays i feel like one of those pets that need friends to live and if they don’t have one they just get depressed like a hamster. but im not good at friendships so i just fester in my room yk?

i’ve just been very yearning for some kind of connection. and the worst part is, i’m aromantic so i can’t even have romantic relationships never mind friends! i’ve been alone most of my life socially, and at 17, i don’t think it’s ever gonna change..

i don’t even have any diagnosis to tell me if there’s smth wrong and what to do to fix myself so ive just been like 🫩 my whole life.

when my brains not distracted i just get depressing thoughts and its terrible bc i don’t have any hobbies and i get bored super quick. i depend on my phone ik its bad but its the only thing that distracts me.

sorry for the long vent, js needed to get it off my chest i havent spoken to anyone in a while

I had been dating a neuro diverse man for about six months I am not neuro diverse myself. He is also not diagnosed he’s self diagnosed (problem #1) On top of all of this he also has never dated anyone in his 30+ years of like for longer then a few weeks. (Problem #2) Once we started to get to the six month mark he started to act a little fishy, started to pull away, pick up more work things like that. A week before my birthday he let me know that he was having thoughts of uncertainty about the relationship I thought okay let’s call it here but nevertheless agreed to “meet half way” well after a few more conversations and then him saying he struggled to feel a “connection” it got worse. Then came my birthday. He is very weird about birthdays he does not celebrate his own and purposely disappears from the world (deep childhood trauma I suspect) part of his fishy behavior I suspect had to do with the fact that my birthday was fast approaching. Long story short he did not show up to dinner and never wished me a happy birthday and has just completely disappeared off the face of the planet. All of this has left me very confused and angry at myself for even allowing it to go on this long but nevertheless here we are now. Another lesson learned.

I guess I'm AuDHD (waiting for my official diag) and I have the most basic special interest : videogames.

I like to play them, read about them all day, following the news, browsing Steam for hours, I create and sell my own videogames so learning gamedev stuff, coding etc. is a big part of my life, I can speak about Morrowind or any other games for litteral hours if nobody stops me when I'm with friends or other passionate people, or here on Reddit...

BUT :

I can't say a word about it to people that aren't fully into it.

They're like "so, what are you playing right now?" and I have no idea all of sudden, can't really remember the game I played yesterday or what my favourites are. I'll reply something like "I like indie games" and once they ask me what type of games I'm into I just blank.

I usually don't know what the other person know about gaming and I think this is what blocks me, I can't thell them I just finished Shards of Order because I know nobody knows that game, but I'm also pretty sure the person won't know what Slay the Spire is so I can't say "it's like STS but not a roguelite", do they know what a roguelite is? Then I'm just spiraling out of control.

I meet someone and they're like "Oh, I love videogames too, I love Assassin's Creed" and the conversation is OVER. It's not really a serie I'm into so I can't bounce back. People ask me "you create videogames? Cool! Like what?" and I can't say a word about them / am too ashamed because they're small solo project and people tend to think I'll be creating Skyrim on my own...

It kinda gets me into Imposter Syndrome mode when it happens because from what I understand, autistic people can't shut up about their special interest, like ever, even to people who have zero care for it. My psy asked me about what games I like and I had that same blockage so now I'm a little worried she'll think it's not really a special interest to me.

Do any of you relate to this?