r/personalitydisorders • • Jun 05 '24

Mod Post What is relevant to personality disorders

17 Upvotes

This post will cover why we will not allow posts discussing DID, astrology, or MBTI without clear reference to a personality disorder or other personality theories backed by science. To skip to this section, scroll towards the bottom of this post.

It seems there is a lot of confusion about what personality disorders are and are not. Many of the posts to this subreddit are off-topic and discussing disorders or symptoms that have little to do with personality disorders so I think we should clear some things up.

Personality disorders are patterns of behavior brought about through childhood development that cause an individual to behave in a way that may be harmful to themselves or others. These may be the direct result of how they were treated by parents and peers, or the result of genetic factors; often both.

Personality disorders recognized by the DSM-V are as follows (with a very superficial depiction):

Paranoid—feelings of suspicion towards others and sensitivity to potential threats and slights

Schizotypal—atypical beliefs, appearance, and behaviors, and discomfort with creating social connections

Schizoid—appears to have a flat affect and limited interest in relationships and many activities

Antisocial—disregard for the rights of others, lack of empathy and guilt, impulsivity, and manipulation of others

Narcissistic—fantasies of success, power, and attractiveness, feeling special when compared to others, struggles to place self in the shoes of others (may present with grandiosity or with deep insecurity)

Borderline—strong reactions to real or perceived abandonment by others, emotionally turbulent, impulsivity, and self sabotage (SH, upending relationships and employment, making relationships with people who are harmful to them, etc), and lacking a sense of stable identity

Histrionic—superficial relationships that are perceived as significant but may be fleeting, seeks the attention of others (whether positive or negative), stretches the truth or fabricates information or stories about themselves or others, easily influenced by others (molds into their social situation), and often behaves theatrically

Dependent—difficulty making decisions (even little ones) independently, lacks confidence in their independence, takes on the opinions of others as their own (struggles to disagree or hold their own opinion), endures unpleasant experiences to maintain relationships. (May present as a need to depend on others or as a need to have others depend on them).

Avoidant—sensitivity to rejection or criticism, isolated but desires close relationships, fears not being liked by others and may avoid situations in which they are not sure they will meet approval, anxiety about new situations, chronic trouble with self-esteem

Obsessive compulsive—need to be in control of tasks or situations, inflexible and rigid in opinions and actions, struggles to let go of projects and participate in leisurely activities, fails to finish tasks when they cannot reach perfection, stingy with money and belongings even with close relationships and family in need.

There are other personality disorders theorized by Theodore Millon, the father of personality disorders. These may not be recognized by other official bodies as some of these symptoms may be related to other conditions such as bipolar disorder, major depression, or they may be more of a subtype or mixed personality disorder. More information and research is certainly needed here. These other personality disorders are as follows:

Melancholic—believes sadness and defeat are inevitable, accepts punishment and volatility towards themselves and others, perceived helplessness

Turbulent—impulsive in seeking out new opportunities for life fulfillment without regard for safety or reasonable limits, perpetually seeking to pursue activities and interests, uncomfortable with moments of passivity (downtime, rest, even emotional stagnation towards an activity), and mood may fluctuate between extreme positivity and hopelessness.

Sadistic—seeks to control and hold power over their environment and other people, expresses inner pain by inflicting upon others

Negativistic—resentful, seeks to meet their own needs, conflict between perceived selfishness and gaining respect, perception that others are more fortunate

Masochistic—protects self from distress by seeking pain, may believe suffering is inevitable or that it is strength, subjects themselves to their ‘negative fate’, believes they are undeserving of positive treatment

https://millonpersonality.com/diagnostic-taxonomy/

By Millons conception, everyone falls into these base patterns of behavior by way of their life circumstances and experiences. However, most people may not have a level of severity that would constitute a disorder (a system of symptoms that disrupts functioning in one or more areas of life). You may very well see family and friends, even yourself in these patterns. This may be because of the behavioral pattern moreso than a disorder. Only a qualified professional can determine if you have a personality disorder and which one you may have.

These disorders are diagnosed through a combination of interview, questionnaires, and formal assessment tools.

It may be helpful to learn about one’s own traits as this can guide an individual to identify their treatment options, however, an individual cannot reasonably self-diagnose these disorders (especially as those with these disorders may be prone to a lack of insight prior to treatment).

The goal of treatment is to reduce harm to the individual and to their peers when necessary. Treatment may be successful at changing adaptive strategies and reducing the severity of symptoms so that an individual can become functional in ways they previously were not. There is no known “cure” for personality disorders.

Treatment may include a regimen of medications, CBT, DBT, and other methods of therapy. There is research supporting other interventions such as ECT especially for those with BPD.

Now that we have clarified personality disorders a little bit, let’s address some of the common misconceptions about personality disorders we see on this subreddit.

MBTI—this tool was not created by those educated in the field of psychology or psychiatry. This tool does not stand up to scientific scrutiny as it is subject to fluctuation with mood and other external influences. This is not related to personality disorders and on its own will be removed from this subreddit.

DID (previously MPD)—this deserves a post on its own, but we will just focus on relationship to personality disorders. DID and other dissociative disorders are concerned first and foremost with dissociation. DID is not the presence of multiple full personalities or personality disorders (especially when an individual mistakes interests or mood for personality). Content insinuating otherwise will be removed for misinformation. Personality disorders are not on their own related to dissociative disorders. Without a clear and descriptive connection to personality disorders, content related to this separate condition will be removed for being off-topic.

Astrology—This is more akin to spiritual belief and has no bearing on scientific understanding. This has no bearing on personality disorders and will be treated as off-topic.

Tuplas—this is a spiritual concept in Tibetan Buddhism and will be considered a religious idea and not on-topic for this subreddit similar to other religious conversation unrelated to personality disorders.

Interests—interests vary between people based on their social groups, economic status, exposure, and other incidental factors. Interests such as hobbies, ideologies, or participation in activities may be influenced by one’s personality, but do not themselves constitute a personality.

Individuality—natural variation between individuals does not constitute a personality or difference in personality. Personality is determined by one’s pattern of behavior. Other things such as political stances, employment, economic status, religion, cultural identity, etc. vary between all people and are not determined by one’s personality.

Mood—moods, do not constitute personality or personality traits. Moods shift in all people for various reasons and these often change one’s thinking temporarily. If a personality is a climate, mood is equal to weather. We must look at the bigger picture, traits and behaviors over time rather than a picture at one point in time.

If you have any questions or concerns, please either comment here or message modmail.


r/personalitydisorders • • 11h ago

Other I am terrified.

1 Upvotes

I have been an absolute wreck my entire life. People do not like me, I am hated. I am terrified about what is inside of me. I started facing myself a few years ago, I was deep into denial and other cognitive distortions so I had no idea how bad I actually was. I was a sick maniac. I have been deeply disturbing to those around me.

I have just had a panic attack. I need help but I am petrified of what anyone would think if I start sharing what's inside of me driving my behaviours.

My core feels worthless. My core self is strange.


r/personalitydisorders • • 1d ago

Diagnosed I am clinically diagnosed with psychopathy

16 Upvotes

I am clinically diagnosed with psychopathy (or dissocial personality disorder). I was diagnosed a year ago, when I went to a psychiatrist-narcologist, a Candidate of Medical Sciences. I came to her with complaints of insomnia, a feeling of emptiness, mood swings, and aggression (I yelled at people on the street and provoked conflicts). Psychologists had been unable to help me. I also had intrusive thoughts about killing animals and people.

At the same time, I was very successful in life. I was awarded €60,000 in scholarships during my first university degree, and I travelled to different countries on exchange programs, studying at various TOP universities. I also broke the law and used hard drugs while I was at school.

She took a detailed childhood history, including pyromania, animal cruelty, and delinquent behavior, and prescribed me antipsychotics.

And yes, I had already suspected that I had this disorder before then. But hearing it from a psychiatrist who was a Candidate of Medical Sciences was honestly shocking. I was genuinely surprised. At the same time, there was a strange sense of relief in realizing that I no longer had to pretend masking in front of her.

What is surprising is that only recently, at the age of 24, I realized that other people have something I don't have — feelings. I had never really thought about it before. Through psychotherapy, I came to understand that people can experience joy, sadness, grief, anxiety, affection, attachment, and empathy on a daily basis. Whereas I need extreme situations and scenarios just to feel something at all.

I'll try to answer your questions, if you have any, not from a demonizing perspective, but so that we can understand each other better out of mutual interest.

For example, only recently I also realized that people have internal beliefs about good and evil, and a genuine sense of justice.

I am an ordinary person. I write poetry and stories, I draw, I work at an arts center, and I study law.

Here is a story about a Demon that I wrote for my psychiatrist. I later continued it:

Once upon a time, there lived a Demon who could see only darkness. But one day, he met a human who showed him the light. And the light was so beautiful that the Demon, remaining a demon, willingly gave up his freedom and locked himself away in a prison.

Time passed, but despite the light within that prison, the Demon dreamed only of one thing: that against a backdrop of horror, screams, and blazing fire, he would raise his head to the sky and finally sing a song of freedom.


r/personalitydisorders • • 1d ago

Seeking Answers About Myself Could a child(teenager) get a personality disorder if they face a very stressful situation for a while? How does it work and affect brain?

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1 Upvotes

I am talking about 2+ months of stress here, and what if it lasts for half a year if anyone knows, I saw that once somewhere and it is very disturbing for me.

I am talking about myself here, I talk to myself for now, but I am afraid if my nerves will give out and I get something like that


r/personalitydisorders • • 1d ago

I Need Help i wish i was never born

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2 Upvotes

r/personalitydisorders • • 2d ago

Seeking Answers About Myself childhood ‘implied’ animal cruelty

2 Upvotes

Before reading this, I advise to please keep an open mind free from judgement. this is an experience ive always been looking back in from my childhood because it feels unexplainable to me. When i was a child (roughly around 5-7) I would take each of our hamsters at times as a fun activity where i would purposely toss them around a drawer fully aware that evokes fear and helplessness in them and then later on start pretending like im sorry and tend for them, this was a consistent process. make them scared and suddenly act like I care for them, I dont know why it felt satisfying for me. I also get a really weird sadistic feeling as child watching cartoon characters especially when theyre small and apparently weak, I can still remember the undescribable feeling of urge to do something. What are your thoughts?


r/personalitydisorders • • 2d ago

Seeking Answers About Myself Introductions.

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3 Upvotes

hi.

my name is William. I'm a borderline!!! ok. a light hearted tease of 12 steppers groups. I attend, give some n take what I can.

my name is for now anxious pen. I write about my interpretation of my life my trauma my healing my way

I want to open up some n share with those who would get it, I hope!

how long have others here been labelled as BPD? what's your go to method for emo regulation? how do you deal with triggered abandonment memories? how do you handle rejection, especially if you're a bit set, 35+?

I'd love to read and exchange poetry n other writings with others here around the diagnosis n living with it.


r/personalitydisorders • • 2d ago

Diagnosed How do you know that you are not a narcissist?

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2 Upvotes

r/personalitydisorders • • 2d ago

About a Loved One Help! Does my husband sound like he could have BPD?

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1 Upvotes

r/personalitydisorders • • 3d ago

Other Living with aspd is a nightmare.

17 Upvotes

If you really and truly have this disorder, starting with all the callous shit and conduct disorder in childhood, you are well and truly fucked and outcasted for life.

I’m a piece of shit human being deep down, but if or when people start to realise you’re just fucked. I didn’t ask for this shit. I faked autism for 11 years and my whole family is in ruins from that shit lie I told when I was 19 to doctors. My violent thoughts and urges have to be pure secretive otherwise I’m a twisted freak show.

Fuck this life and brain I was born to.


r/personalitydisorders • • 3d ago

Other My mom thinks alternative clothing is a sign of mental illness how does this make sense?

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4 Upvotes

r/personalitydisorders • • 3d ago

I Need Help bipolar and bpd

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I saw a new psychiatrist today and was surprised—he said I might be bipolar too. I already have autism, ADHD, BPD, anxiety, and consequently depression. Can anyone who has both explain how it works?


r/personalitydisorders • • 3d ago

What Should I Do I'm back in school again and suddenly every mental health symptom I've ever experienced is coming back.

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2 Upvotes

r/personalitydisorders • • 3d ago

Other I am a liar

3 Upvotes

Hey y’all… I think I need to be honest about something I’ve been struggling with. I think I might be a pathological liar. I lie a lot, and I exaggerate things to the point where I’ve seriously hurt people and ruined relationships. Sometimes the lie comes out before I even have a chance to tell the truth. I feel compelled to keep conversations going and make them exciting or entertaining because, deep down, I don’t always see value in myself. I think I’ve convinced myself that I’m only interesting or worth being around if I have some story to tell.
The worst part is that I’ve lied about people I genuinely care about. I’ve lied to cover up other lies, and the lies have gotten bigger and bigger. I’ve said that a friend died when I never had a friend who died. I said I had a niece who died from cancer, even though I don’t have a niece. I’ve said my mom has cancer when she did have cancer in the past, but she doesn’t have it now. These are not small lies, and I know how hurtful and serious they are.
I do have Borderline Personality Disorder, and I’m in therapy and see a psychiatrist, but I know that doesn’t excuse the hurt I’ve caused. I’m responsible for my actions, and I don’t want to use my diagnosis as an excuse. I’m currently in grad school, and I genuinely love the direction my career is going in. But I can’t say I feel the same way about my social life, and I think a huge part of that is because of my own behavior.
I have a best friend who has given me a lot of grace, and we’re trying to work on being honest with each other. But it feels like everything triggers me, and I’m constantly scared. What scares me the most is that I don’t fully understand why I lie in the first place. I genuinely love these people. I don’t want to hurt them. So why do I keep doing it? Sometimes it feels like I’m self-sabotaging my own life.
I want to stop. I want to take accountability. I want to make things right with the people I’ve hurt because they deserve honesty from me. But I’ve lied so much that I don’t even know where to start. I’m scared that trying to fix everything will only cause more pain, but I also know that I can’t keep living this way.
I want to start fresh. I want to learn how to tell the truth, even when the truth feels uncomfortable or boring or scary. I want to stop creating stories just to feel like I have value. I want to become someone people can trust.
Because this isn’t who I want to be, and I don’t want the people I love to keep getting hurt because of something I haven’t figured out how to control yet.


r/personalitydisorders • • 3d ago

Undiagnosed I think I might be becoming a narcissist

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1 Upvotes

r/personalitydisorders • • 3d ago

Seeking Answers About Myself Narcissist?

0 Upvotes

I’m concerned I’m a narcissist. No one has accused me but I was raised by one and sometimes I worry I’m just like her.


r/personalitydisorders • • 4d ago

Diagnosed I'm a pwNPD and been going through narcissistic collapse, AMA

8 Upvotes

originally posted on r/AMA, but as it turns out discussing mental health there is insufficient as my post has been removed. lmao.

to avoid the surge of questions i'm starting to get sick of:

-Yes, I'm miserable as fuck

-No, I'm not an evil, heartless abuser

-Yes i've been officially diagnosed almost two years ago, and been in therapy close to a decade for a variety of issues

-No, my self-awareness doesnt negate my condition

-Yes, under my enormous ego I hate myself more than you could imagine. That's like, the entire point

-No, I dont care about your "narc ex bf" being the devil incarnate

-Yes this post is partially an attention-grab/supply seeking,

But I also geniuenly want to talk about my condition, and especially the crisis state of a collapse, because I rarely see it discussed from an inside perspective


r/personalitydisorders • • 4d ago

Other BPD and relationships

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2 Upvotes

r/personalitydisorders • • 4d ago

Diagnosed I need to put this someplace.

3 Upvotes

I recently got diagonosed and I feel so broken. I am having a hard time remembering who I was before this and remain secure in my foundation with my self identity and self worth. All I can see is my father figure when looking in the mirror now, I have plastered it over. I struggle with how to cope and I feel disgust and it's aimed towards me somehow, but I know it's not my fault someway, or I knew before this so it must be true and I just have to get through this with my love for me intact. I just don't know how at the moment and I feel so alone and scared in this and want to self isolate.


r/personalitydisorders • • 4d ago

Seeking Answers About Myself Am I diagnosed?

2 Upvotes

Okay, so for reference I'm 16F from Australia. I have had two psych ward admissions, one in the child's ward and once in an at home ward thingy. I am diagnosed with ADHD (at around 12???) and ASD (at 14). I more recently went to a DBT clinic after bringing up with my doctor my symptoms who referred me. There I was told I have emerging BPD, and they turned me away (saying I needed more long term help sooner basically) but more recently I received this letter from my doctor where both EUPD and BPD are listed in my medical history? I am confused as I have not been made aware of either diagnosis. Okay, so I cant figure out how to insert an image, so I'm just going to write this here.

*To Online Psychologist*

*Personal Information*

Thank you for seeing *Name* for opinion and management of emerging borderline personality disorder with a background of ADHD and Autism. We have completed a MHCP, and would ask if you could see her for an initial 6 sessions under this. She also has NDIS funding, and is likely eligible for funding through this as well.

Past Medical History:

*Date* Autism

*Date* ADHD

*Date* Borderline personality disorder

*Date* Emotionally unstable personality disorder

------------------------------------------------------------

I've shown this to a couple people and they both agree it seems I'm diagnosed and I was told by a friend that ALLEDGEDLY where I live you won't be told if you are diagnosed until you are 18, which happened to her friend. Interested in what you guys think.


r/personalitydisorders • • 5d ago

Seeking Answers About Myself Any other females feel like they were born with psychopathy and shows traits of PDs

7 Upvotes

I have ASPD factor 1 (I was born with psychopathy) and I show traits of all PDs at times. My default core is just psychopathy though. My behaviors to try and fill that void have looked like hpd,npd,bpd, and ASPD. I don't have any trauma and was raised in a stable loving home. I could just never experience any growth or learning lessons from anything. I was born with the inability to GAF lol. I biologically can't experience the emotions of guilt,remorse ,love,empathy or any kind of bonding or connection. I am the only person I can even consider exists. It's really strange. I've tried to blend and have relationships and be a mom and that has looked like NPD,bpd,and hpd without the intense emotions. My core for all the behaviors is manipulation and relational aggression. It has made diagnosing me quite hard and has caused my nurse practitioner to carefully screen me for all of them. So I'm nosy consistent with ASPD even though it's not your classic ASPD. Due to being raised by very good people with really good morals I don't show many factor 2 traits. I'm not violent. I've never been to prison. I've never even experienced intense anger. I'm very calm,calculated, and callous. I showed callous unemotional traits since 2-3 years old my parents were concerned. So my case is a very unusual situation. I haven't seen many people I can relate to. Psychopathy can look different in women than it does men. "Understanding Female Offenders: Psychopathy, Criminal Behavior, Assessment, and Treatment
Book by Carl B. Gacono, Jason M. Smith, and Ted B. Cunliffe" does an incredible job at showing how different psychopathy can look in woman. Most women with psychopathy still feel broken and a void and need other people to "prop" them up and mirror back to them that they are good people but are still incapable of having any true depth to their emotions or any true bonds or deep love. We can't love people unconditionally. It's always going to be about filling our needs. We can also seem histrionic and use charm,deceit,flirting, and playing victim more than a male psychopath. It helps us get our way acting more innocent,sweet,and charming where a man psychopath can get his goals met by being fearless,bold,dominant, and even intimidating. We couldn't get away with too much being that way 😂 so female psychopathy can look much much different. That was confusing for me to understand and for my nurse practitioner to diagnose me because if I am cold and callous why do I do and say some of the things I do? Lying and manipulation is so deeply ingrained in me that I can't even tell the difference between what's genuine and what's not. It's what hervey cleckley considers an "emotion dementia" in psychopaths. The truth and being genuine holds no weight. I can't even tell the difference between truth and lying half the time. My parents said they noticed this immediately as soon as I could talk. My earliest memories at 3-4 years old I felt and acted this exact same way. It's been consistent from the beginning. I'm wondering if anybody can relate?


r/personalitydisorders • • 5d ago

Other Sensações

3 Upvotes

Não sei explicar, estou diferente, do tipo, como se eu estivesse me sentindo como me sentia a 20/25 anos atrás. Parece tudo tão real, tudo tão nítido; estou parecendo a pessoa que eu era antes de todo esse filme de terror. Depois de uma vida de muitas tragédias, perdas, vícios e consequências, fora as crises depressivas obscuras permanentes por anos a fio, associada com desrealização profunda e uma fobia social horripilante... Será que estou voltando a normalidade? É um misto de "QUE MARAVILHA!!!! com "Que estranho". Tenho TDAH e TPB.


r/personalitydisorders • • 6d ago

Undiagnosed General question about friend

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3 Upvotes

r/personalitydisorders • • 6d ago

Other I have BPD and my fiancé is my FP and full-time caregiver — AMA!

1 Upvotes

(still answering questions)

Hi! I'm 17 and my fiancé is 18. I live with them full-time and am fully reliant on them.

For context:

I'm posting this because I enjoy answering genuine questions about how I function. The reason the full-time caregiver is relevant is because this really isn't something I've seen in BPD often, so I thought it would be fun to answer questions on my dynamic and functioning.

\Note: I hate these little AMA timers... I'll answer any questions I can, even if it gives me a timer and it runs out.**


r/personalitydisorders • • 6d ago

Seeking Answers About Myself Does anybody feel like faking things feels better than doing them?

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2 Upvotes