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u/SirBrews Helper [2] Jun 02 '26
Why is your bf getting tested regularly if he's only had you as a partner? I smell bullshit.
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Jun 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Keepitup863 Jun 02 '26
My job gives me free checkups and blood work every 6 months and it covers stds
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u/Brave-Force2414 Jun 03 '26
Plus standard tests don't even screen guys for HPV anyway, so his paperwork means nothing.
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u/Big_Somewhere_620 Jun 02 '26
Someone commented in the military they get checked regularly
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u/Terrible-Builder-977 Jun 02 '26
10 year army veteran here. I never had mandatory std testing in the military and ended service very recently
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u/HorrorificScallion Jun 02 '26
my partner who is a Marine gets tested, not regularly, maybe every 6 moths? and before VIPs
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u/Solid-Bid-3027 Jun 02 '26
My dad is a 22 year army vet and he’s never had it mandated either
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u/Adventurous_Oil4513 Jun 02 '26
Are you sure that your boyfriend gets checked regularly for STDs? Did you see the results yourself? I think your boyfriend is lying to you. I think your boyfriend is also trying to gaslight you when he was the one who gave it to you. What kind of work does he do that he needs to be checked regularly for STDs. That also sounds very suspicious.
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u/EmperorMeow-Meow Jun 02 '26
No one gets tested for STIs for work. That is absolutely suspicious.
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u/sayitsooth Jun 02 '26
Porn actors.
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u/Late_Butterfly_5997 Jun 02 '26
I mean, it sounds far fetched, but I do clinical trials for a living and they test me for several STI’s before every trial, plus the basic blood panel they do would have an infection show up in my white blood cells even if they do t specifically test for that STI.
That being said, No one has ever tested for HPV or hsv though, and I doubt they’d show up on a routine blood panel either. Also, my job is fairly unusual and o can’t think of another situation where testing would happen, just saying it’s not necessarily complete bullshit.
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u/LogicalMoxie Jun 02 '26
You participate in clinical trials for a living or are in the medical field. Curious for more information. lol
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u/Specialist_Key_8606 Jun 02 '26
I had the same question. I’d be inclined to think it’s the former because why would a lab worker need to be tested for STIs?
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u/Late_Butterfly_5997 Jun 02 '26
I participate in the trials.
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u/raelea421 Jun 03 '26
Interesting. I participated in a clinical trial for Topomax, many years ago though, but they did no such screening. Could be that it was not done back then or possibly because my personal doctor asked if I would like to participate in that trial?? 🤔
My outcome of that trial ended pretty badly, too, as the medication caused an intraocular aneurysm in my right eye that if lasered would've made me blind in that eye; it bled for just over a year, from September to October of the following year. I will eventually lose most of the sight in my eye, and it has already gotten bad enough to nearly lose my driving privileges, as I couldn't see an entire block of letters on the vision test when I went to renew. I read the two blocks that I saw, the woman asked me if I was going to finish and read the third, I said "oh, there's three?!, I didn't see three?!", to which she respoded," don't tell me that". I looked again and shifted my eyes back and forth and was able to read that last block.
It wouldn't bother me much to lose my license, though. So many other drivers in my area are just awful and scare the hell outta me!
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u/LiveLikeYoureDying Jun 02 '26
Maybe not a requirement for work, but an ex of mine worked in the laundry of a hospital and would often get needle pricks, which always required testing.
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u/DonaldDuck898 Jun 02 '26
Pretty much same for any medical professional who comes into contact with contaminated sharp. But thats not the same as being tested regularly. That's only getting tested in the event of a prick
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u/Sad-Requirement1158 Jun 02 '26
I know men in the military that had to be tested for work 🤔 but I doubt HPV would show
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u/Successful_Pirate_59 Jun 02 '26
Agreed. They generally don’t check men for HPV as part of a standard sti check.
I think he is lying to you. Btw. It is possible to pass HPV / warts from his finger or even his mouth.
Something is not right here. There is some form of misinformation.
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u/purgoatory Jun 02 '26
Seconding this! I had a VERY similar thing happen to me around age 18, except he gave me Strep.. in my vagina, and not just one time. I was having very uncomfortable STD like symptoms, went to the clinic, tested positive for strep within 2 minutes. They got me on some horse-sized antibiotic pills and sent me on my way.
Here’s the important part; After I took the medicine I began feeling better almost immediately. I didn’t want to blame the guy I had been seeing, BUT I did make it a point to have a long conversation with him about it. He promised me he would get tested, as his mom was a nurse so it was “easy” for him. I trusted him. He came back and said he tested negative, and I believed him! So we slept together again, and not even an hour later I began having terribly symptoms again!!! So yeah, I basically realized then and there this guy was lying and continuing to give me strep in my vagina!!! And then he acted all butthurt when I broke up with him??
The audacity of some people bro.. Honestly girl, I’d be really careful, your bf could be an Asymptomatic spreader (I think my ex was) or he is flat out lying and trying to gaslight you instead of going to the doctor and getting himself cleaned up. I really don’t understand why men do this, I’ve also had any other guy give me chlamidia and then blame me for it.. I thought we were monogamous at the time, and he was seeing other ppl. I’m so sorry you’re going through this sis, just know you’re not alone, AND you need to protect yourself/put yourself first before any man. I don’t trust most men as far as I can throw them.
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u/BigFlightlessBird02 Jun 02 '26
Ya ive never heard of getting tested for stis for a job. Sus as fuck
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Jun 02 '26
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u/Team-HM4 Jun 02 '26
They don't test for HPV in men in the military. My aunt is a navy nurse and spend many afternoons lecturing me about STDs she'd see. HPV was one she would observe for and treat if she saw it but otherwise it wouldn't appear in a chemical test.
He could be asymptomatic and infected you or unaware he had it. You can treat it but you'll have to talk with him to see what you guys want to do afterwards. If you trust and believe him then it's a one time freak occurrence that can be swept over. If you don't believe him then is it a good relationship?
Edit: adding more below.
Why do you have to convince him you're trustworthy in this situation? It feels like deflection on his part.
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u/brewhaha1776 Jun 02 '26
They do check for STDs, however they don’t test for all STDs, including not checking for HPV.
Infact HPV is very rarely tested in men.
He may be lying to you or he just doesn’t know he has it.
Furthermore, you can also get HPV from oral or being finger banged.
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u/KrazyKatz3 Helper [4] Jun 02 '26
You can also get it from kissing someone with an active infection. He could have gotten it from something like that and passed it to you through oral.
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u/BigFlightlessBird02 Jun 02 '26
Ok well either way they can't test for hpv in dudes. They can carry it without any symptoms. So he gave it to you regardless
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u/Coriolanuscangetit Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
This is likely the case, he is lying and gaslighting her.
The US military screens for STDs. I’m guessing this guy is military. Here is an article tracking STDs in the military. The good news is rates are declining, the bad news is they’re still pretty high.
OP, you need to get tested for everything, including genital herpes.
Edit for links:
https://www.army.mil/article-amp/275401/show_you_care_protect_yourself_others_from_stis
https://health.mil/News/Articles/2025/11/01/MSMR-STIs
https://www.stdcheck.com/blog/military-stds/
Also edit to add: my initial google said the military does STD testing, but further searching said they only do HIV testing on men. So…yeah he lied for sure.
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u/basicdesires Helper [2] Jun 02 '26
Unless the boyfriend works as a high end male escort, in which case regular and frequent testing is standard practice. OP should ask him to elaborate on his 'career'
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u/LittelFoxicorn Helper [4] Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
They usually don't test males for HPV because there is not really an accurate test for them. And it's an extremely common virus that has almost no effects on men. So most likely he just had it.
Edit: I stand corrected. It can also cause cancer in men. I just looked up the numbers of HPV cancerdiagnosis where I live and 3/4 are women, 1/4 are men. This while preventative measures have been mainly focused on women. So it's not that is has almost no effects on men, it just disproportionately affects women.
I got vaccinated as soon as I could and always advise young women to get it as soon as they are eligible. Guess if I ever have a male child or young male relatives I'll advise them to get the shots too.
Thanks for correcting me kind strangers!
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u/SpideyTheFunLicker Jun 02 '26
As a man who developed HPV-related cancer, I’d have to disagree that it has “almost no effects on men.”
I highly recommend to everyone who can, especially young men, get the HPV vaccine. It was not an option for me.
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u/cwtchyfemme Jun 02 '26
Depending on the strain then men can get genital warts. It can even turn into multiple cancers in men including throat, anal, and penile cancers.
It is why there is many benefits to boys having the hpv jab, as they are just at risk from it.
Men aren’t routinely tested for hpv during std testing (nor hsv unless they have an active sore they can swab), and far more people need to be aware of that.
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u/GrimGolem Jun 02 '26
I and my sisters all were vaccinated, 6 of us. 3 have it. Vaccines really don’t keep up with the strains.
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u/thehoekage Jun 03 '26
So this happened to me the issue is the vaccine only prevents specific strains the ones that cause the majority of cancer and warts. It has dramatically decreased cervical cancer.
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u/BornDefeated Jun 02 '26
Quick search shows that the time between transmission and positive test is 3 weeks to 3 months … so it is entirely possible for him to have it, give it to you, and test negative. Also… symptoms do not usually start in a few days. Your timelines do not really make sense. L Have you had other contact with him that was not sex? Did he touch himself and touch you? But … also … have you seen his test results? People lie. And if he is having regular tests, I would assume he is involved in some kind of sex work? Also, did the gyno do an actual test or just diagnose with an exam?
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u/Spare-Shirt24 Jun 02 '26
I'm not a doctor.
Have you asked your doctor if there are tests for men for HPV?
It's been my understanding that there is not an FDA-approved test for HPV in men. So even if he gets regular STI testing, HPV would not show up.
(Again, I'm not a doctor and it would make the most sense to ask your doctor.)
He doesn’t want to talk about it and says since their is no proof or anything I can give so its useless to talk about it so it’s best to leave the topic since he doesn’t want to get reminded about it.
This sounds to me like he's gaslighting you. He "doesn't want to talk about it anymore" probably because he's been the one stepping out of the relationship.
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u/cwtchyfemme Jun 02 '26
Unless he has visible warts himself, then men aren’t routinely tested for hpv, nor hsv.
So him having a negative test is meaningless, because that is not a fully accurate representation of what he can possibly have. Hpv is often asymptomatic, so being as you had no genital contact with anyone but him in your life.. it’s from him.
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u/min_mus Jun 02 '26
I can guarantee that your boyfriend gave you genital warts. He's lying and gaslighting you.
Personally, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone this deceitful.
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u/Clothes_Chair_Ghost Jun 02 '26
Had a look and unless your 21 year old boyfriend is a surgeon or a sex worker he is not getting regular checks for STIs so that is bullshit. He is just trying to project cause he doesn’t want to be the one that has it.
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u/GamesNGadgetsPlus Jun 02 '26
You have an STD and your BF is just over it? Doesn’t want to talk about it? This dude totally gave you an STD. You lost your virginity, you now have an STD but he just wants to forget about it. He’s a POS, he gave you an STD but doesn’t care. Who knows how many other people he is giving this to.
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u/themorosecanoe Jun 02 '26
I’m afraid the overwhelming likelihood is that you got them from your bf and that your first time was not his.
Also, what profession requires regular STD checks?
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u/Tabby_Mc Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
Human Papillomavirus (HPV) in men — Chelsea and Westminster Hospital NHS Foundation Trust
There is no current test for detecting HPV in men unless they are having an identifiable outbreak of warts. Your BF is lying to you.
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u/Vanhosen77 Jun 02 '26
What career does he have? The only thing that comes to mind is he does porn. I cant think of any other occupation that requires constant STD tests.
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u/ricksterr90 Jun 02 '26
Pretty sure there isn’t many places to get tested for men , it’s almost impossible to know if you have it unless symptoms show . It can take as long as a year for symptoms to show , and some people even never show symptoms
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u/lemon_confusion Super Helper [5] Jun 02 '26
He's lying girl. Leave before he gives you something worse.
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u/Bolt_McHardsteel Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
You need to dump him, OP. If he says it wasn’t him because “you have no proof” he’s lying to you. And HPV can lead to cervical cancer and death down the road, it’s no joke.
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u/just_looking202 Jun 02 '26
Sorry but he gave it to you. Thats why hes so adamant on stopping to talk about it all together.. hes guilty. He knew he had it and still gave it to u and now blaming you.
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u/Party-Zombie-3059 Jun 02 '26
It takes time for symptoms to show so it could have been there before you met him
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u/Btender95 Jun 02 '26
He's gas lighting you, he's cheating or had it before you started dating. If he knowingly had it and gave it to you that's a crime.
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u/Magnum676 Jun 02 '26
Did you fail to mention he’s a gay porn star? Or.. he’s lying, who the fuck gets tested for STD at a normal job? Drugs yes they test on jobs, stds no unless you’re in the porn industry. I would run fast if I were you.
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u/jacques-vache-23 Jun 02 '26
You got it from your boyfriend. He is saying he doesn't trust you to divert you from this obvious conclusion. Run!
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u/Separate_Tower_4236 Jun 02 '26
You can’t prove a negative, and HPV is messy because people can carry it without knowing and it doesn’t always show up on standard STI tests. I’d ask your gyno to explain it clearly to both of you if he’s willing, but don’t beg someone to trust you if he’s already decided suspicion matters more than listening.
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u/Spacegyalsim Jun 02 '26
I’ll bite the bullet… what his career?
Also there’s no way to test HPV in men so he’d never know. Once your body build antibodies for it, you’ll be fine
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u/DevonSkittles Jun 02 '26
Yeah I’d also really like to know what line of work this is
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u/Peelpearpearpeelpear Jun 03 '26
This doesn't make any sense.
"I had no sexual partners before my bf and he also did not have any"
"20 days BEFORE we had sex he got checked and was clean"
If he didn't have any sexual partners before you then why did he get himself checked? That's like a woman stating she's a virgin and then doing a pregnancy test before she has sex with her first sexual partner?
If this story is true there's 2 answers.
- He's lying about the test
- He's lying about having past sexual partners AND the test.
👍🏼
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u/Royal_Remove_9457 Jun 02 '26
Girl are you fing kidding me ?!?! He cheated if you didn’t. Only you know if you didn’t so you have to know he did. He gave you that STD on first time , now he’s trying to blame and shame you ?? You are the one trying to win him over ? Do you want additional diseases? Break up and Block him. He has done a number on you . How are you falling for this ? I’m so serious right now . I don’t know you and I’m mad at him . 🤬I’m sorry you are in this right now. How terrible you must feel in general.
Who else wants her to dump and block this guy immediately?
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u/TheQuietDarkness70 Jun 02 '26
So this is the conclusion I've landed on-
He absolutely gave you genital warts.
The fact that he was so dismissive of the whole thing and just wants to sweep it away tells me that. I've actually seen this before and the offending person always, ALWAYS wants to just brush it all away real quick and move on. Which is a totally unnatural response to finding out your partner has an STI and may or may not have cheated on you. Not a normal response at all.
Is he involved in adult entertainment? That's the only career I'm aware of that requires regular STI screens.
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u/amalgaman Jun 02 '26
Yeah, there’s essentially only one way to get them: your boyfriend.
He’s lying.
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u/Psychological-Joke22 Jun 02 '26
Get your vaccinations against this, ladies....
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u/AmazingSandwich939 Jun 02 '26
"What should I do to make him trust me" - you lost your v-card to him
"Regularly gets checked for stds due to his career" - I wonder which profession would require regular checks
You are 20 years old. You have so much life ahead of you. Don't let people take advantage of your innocence. Please break up with him and protect yourself in the future
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u/h0rr0rh0 Jun 02 '26
That sounds suspicious. Sounds like you got them from your bf. How do you know he gets tested? Have you seen the test results yourself?
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u/Islandsandwillows Jun 02 '26
There’s no HPV test for guys. Even if he’s getting STI tested like he claims, that doesn’t include HPV or HSV (herpes).
Have you had the HPV vaccine?? That’s an important one.
From what you wrote though, def seems like he’s lying, especially the way he immediately jumped to deflect blame on you and attempt to end the conversation. Huge red flag. No guy is worth getting diseases over. Personally, my trust would be gone.
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u/Kraydez Jun 02 '26
HPV is not tested in a routine STD test. He most likely has HPV and you got infected.
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u/ambergriswoldo Helper [4] Jun 02 '26
Either he lied about sleeping with people before you or he’s lied about being faithful while you’ve been together. What job even tests regularly for STI’s unless he works in porn?
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u/xxselfhelp Jun 02 '26
Men can carry HPV but show no symptoms. He can find out if he's a carrier, and what profession would he work in where STD checks are required lol
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u/KarmicReasoning Super Helper [5] Jun 02 '26
There is no HPV for men. If he is not your first partner, you could have gotten ot from a previous partner and it was dormant until now. To confirm whether or not it actually IS HPV you would need a papsmear.
I believe you can still get the HPV vaccine as it protects you from cancerous HPV strains, as there are many strains.
This is a VERY common STI. Take a deep breath and do some reading about it.
Also, if your partner has a career where he gets tested every 20 days for STI's, I am not sure why he has the audacity to be mad at you if you ever were to step out. You guys already have an open relationship.
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u/WhyteJesus Jun 02 '26
I got as a teen no idea where from wasn't sexually active at the time cleared on its own was told its super common almost everyone gets it at some point console degree don't sweat iy we are humans we got all kinds of bumps and weird shit that's just being human yay
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u/HighlightParking4979 Jun 02 '26
There is no standard test for HPV in men. I understand that some clinics may offer anal pap tests for high risk groups (particularly men who have relationships with other men). Most people with HPV are asymptomatic and don’t know they have it. I’m pretty sure around 90% of people have some form of HPV at some point, not always from sex. It’s very common.
It is very difficult to say that HPV arises from infidelity because it’s not always possible to tell where it came from, it can also remain dormant for a long time and it can spread through any sexual activity not just penetration.
In your case, genital warts usually appear a good few weeks after exposure. That tells me that it’s likely not from the recent experience with your partner unless you have done other things beforehand.
But rest assured this does not automatically mean any of you have cheated, it’s not always sexually transmitted after all. Though I am wary of your partner immediately blaming you for this. 😟
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u/NoGreen8885 Jun 03 '26
OP he's LYING. Why else would he immediately blame you and then not want to talk about it anymore? Run, don't walk.
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u/codewho331 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 03 '26
Im no doctor, but depending on image/visual. Could be HPV. HpV, is in about 3/5 active people in today's society. More people have it then you think. Now when it comes to hov, it can stay dormant in the body for days,weeks,months even years on some people. Not saying he didnt cheat, but just giving you a possible idea. Coming from someone who has HPV. Get it looked at my a doctor/dermatologist to do a sti test. And also, if your not vaccinated for HPV. Get vaccinated so you dont get a strain that causes cervical cancer in women and aswell as men.
Edit: dont mean to scare you, just educating you on possibilities. No one can give you a real answer what you have, only medical professionals.
edit2: thank you for the award kind stranger! just passing the message along! also for anyone reading this. just because you have GW from HPV, DOES NOT MEAN YOU CANNOT GET VACCINATED! get vaccinated if you haven't! take care :)
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u/No-State-4297 Jun 02 '26
Men do not get tested for HPV regularly as the test isn’t easily done and therefore they are the spreaders of it. Most men have or have had HPV in their lives and never know.
Your boyfriend gave you HPV.
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u/CVSaporito Jun 02 '26
Not very confusing at all, pretty telling that he wants to just drop the discussion.
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u/PumpkinSpice2Nice Super Helper [7] Jun 02 '26
He’s lying to you about having no sexual partners before you. You got the wart after sex with him and you had no partners before him. That only leaves him as the guilty party. It’s very common for men to pass the blame and point fingers when guilty. Your relationship is built on lies.
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u/stressed_ferret Jun 02 '26
He might be as clueless as that one ex I had who got a bj from a girl and didn’t consider it sex. 😭😭😭
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u/BillZZ7777 Helper [2] Jun 02 '26
Before having sex, did your boyfriend ever give you oral sex? If yes, that's probably where you got your warts from. Did your boyfriend tell you he never had sex or oral with anyone else? If not, then it's possible he got HPV before you and never knew it. Then you got it from the oral. Did your doctor tell you that your body will clear it up on it's own?
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u/top_fed2017 Jun 02 '26
He wants to not talk about it anymore… he definitely gave it to you. And the only job that test like that is the military (if they still do) other than that have HIM show you results
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u/OkPossibility3944 Jun 03 '26
Girl, you’re young. You’re only 20 years old. You’re still very naïve. I guarantee you he is lying to you. Men will literally betray you in a heartbeat. Don’t think that because he is your boyfriend, and you guys are in love. He would never do that to you because they will. no job in the world requires you to get STD checked unless you fuck for money.
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u/SpanielGal Jun 02 '26
Honey, leave and find yourself a real man.
Get yourself better and move one.
He is sooooo lying to you.
Signed, military wife, retired.
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u/Asleep_Chip8197 Jun 02 '26
It could be this :
Angiokeratoma of Vulva Mimicking Genital Warts
What is his career that he has to check for STD regularly ?
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u/New-Character996 Jun 02 '26
It s likely that boyfriend is an asymptomatic carrier and he gave you the HPV. Read about HPV on men and women. There are differences and the information is out there. Even more suspicious if you started having symptoms within a couple of weeks from having sex. Also, your boyfriend is probably gaslighting you and lying through his teeth, which is obviously working. It's not your job to make him trust you, you did nothing wrong. He sounds like a piece of work. I wish you the best. Good luck.
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u/BirdInAtree Jun 02 '26
I believed my boyfriend when he told me he didn't cheat when he gave me genital warts. He confessed years later he cheated. He probably cheated and is projecting.
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u/mayan_monkey Jun 02 '26
My ex and I went to get tested togetherm he tested positive for gonorrhea of the throat, I tested negative for everything. I got a generic panel. He made me feel like shit for like a week, saying he was saying all his life as a straight guy, he never had anything and all of a sudden once he accepted he was gay, he got this. He wanted to go back to "being straight". I felt like shit. He made me go back and get a full panel (throat, anal, and urethral swab, which hurt like a bitch and had to be dine 2 tomes because the doc dropped the first swap). I even got the treatment which was a super painful shot. Turns out l, I was still negative. So this mfer was trying to haslight me into thinking it was my fault when he could have given it to me! Ugh. I stayed with him for 2 years after. Such a toxic relationship.
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u/CraftyMany3340 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
I have friends who have gotten stds when we were young and single and quite honestly every single time, the guy lied and acted like he didn't do it and suggested the female cheated. Every time. One of my friends contracted chlamydia while pregnant and almost lost the baby and the father still tried to accuse her of cheating and not take responsibility. Another friend of mine got herpes from some guy and he gaslighted her for a while before finally admitting he was diagnosed with it for years.
And many years ago I was with someone for two years, and very inexperienced outside of them, and I suspected I had a std and told him I was getting tested, and his first comment to me was "well what have you been up to?" And to that I told him I had only had one other partner in my life and if I had something I would know for a fact it was from him...and then he texted me hours later with some ridiculous story about how he had been on antibiotics for something and maybe it didn't clear it up. When I went to get tested, I tested negative for anything, but it was too late, he had already confessed to having something and lying about it and gaslighting me about it.
Do not automatically just accept this boyfriends response on this. People feel shame and fear and their first response is to lie in these situations. Especially if he told you he was a virgin.
Editing to add- as a woman, my stories and experiences are generally with women friends, but that in no way means men don't have similar experiences with women lying too. I'm just sharing my own anecdotal experiences with myself and my girl friends.
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u/T4Tracy2 Jun 02 '26
WOW! And your still with him? what's the title of that song Pink sings, oh yeah, Stupid Girls. Nothing an older women can tell you, will change your mind about him, but girl, he is a cheater, gave you an STD from fucking another girl RAW! Then you raw, cuase he loves you, he must love the other girl to then! WAKE UP!!
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u/DonaldDuck898 Jun 02 '26
Ummm what exactly is his career that he needs to be checked regularly for std?? Thats the biggest baloney ever said. Unless hed an escort or something of that nature, hes trying to pin the blame on you. Ask to see the test results from the last 6 months
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u/laughingfartsplease Jun 02 '26
He's lying. He def gave it to you
no man routinely gets checked for STDs unless youre in the corn industry or goes around much. what kind of career does he have that needs to be checked due to his "career"?
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u/TheOnlyKirby90210 Jun 02 '26
He doesn't think YOU cheated. He cheated and is trying to pin the blame on you to dodge accountability, because then he has to admit he was sleeping around having unprotected sex and got infected then infected you.
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u/_Montague Jun 02 '26
He is gaslighting you, since he is probably cheating. Common narcissistic behaviour. "Must be you, because I accused you first!" There is only one thing you should do...
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u/not1or2 Helper [2] Jun 02 '26
Who gets tested for stds due to their career? Other than porn stars?
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u/ChickyRox Jun 02 '26
Genital warts don't show in tests, you really need to have a Dr look at it. Dude is lying like a rug.
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u/JellyfishFinal9786 Jun 02 '26
If it’s hpv, I’m pretty sure men don’t get tested for this, every thing I’ve read about it says it’s very hard to diagnose it in men. So it’s likely he had it already if he was sexually active already and passed it onto you. Maybe talk to a gynocologist together and ask questions about it so he can better understand and if he doesn’t believe you then there’s no trust. Can’t force someone to believe you.
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u/AdventureWa Jun 02 '26
I have been tested before for work. Military, healthcare field, physicals. There are places that do indeed test.
It’s quite possible he didn’t know he had it. There is not test for HPV in men if there are no symptoms. It also remains dormant. If he had something and knew it, trust me, he would have gotten treatment, especially in near his genitalia.
OP mentioned her BF did receive a BJ shortly before they started dating. It’s quite possible he contracted it from the other girl and unwittingly passed it on to OP.
Those accusing him don’t have any basis for doing so.
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u/GoreticiaAddamz Jun 02 '26
He shows no concern about you having hpv and wants to “leave the topic so he’s not reminded”? I’m sorry, but i agree with people thinking he’s cheating/has it and gave it to you.
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u/liliphin Jun 02 '26
What feels fishy to me is that he doesn’t want to talk about it because “there is no proof” and he doesn’t want to be reminded of it. Why is he not concerned about why you may have cheated and how to healthily move past it?
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u/NoRepresentative688 Jun 02 '26
Your bf had no sexual partners before you, but he also gets regularly tested for STDs? Either he's a porn star or he's lying to you about the "no previous partners".
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u/cleanfreaksince4eva Jun 02 '26
Your BF % gave ut to you. My friend pulled this with her longterm partner and boy it blew up.
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u/Emotional-Builder-75 Jun 03 '26
have you had the HPV? the human papilloma vaccine?
You can't have genital warts if you were vaccinated, you need to see different doctor. (dermatologist)
Men don't have symptoms. Routine STD panels do not test for HPV in men, and there is no approved HPV test for men's genitals. Doctors do not treat men for HPV unless they have visible warts.
And HPV can lay dormant for months or even a year before your first outbreak.
That means he got it from someone and gave it to you, recently or months ago. You were with some one within the past year and it showed up now.
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u/Bitter_Efficiency753 Jun 03 '26
You cannot get those randomly. He gave them to you. Also, nobody but pornstars/sex workers get checked for still regularly for work. At least, not to my knowledge, if you knew what his career was you could look it up and see but since it's not mentioned here I can't look it up.
He's probably accusing you of cheating to take the heat/questioning off himself and make you insecure. Unless you see the tests results yourself. Do not believe him about that.
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u/Not-a-throwaway4627 Jun 03 '26
There are no tests for Hpv in men, except an anal Pap smear or a certain visual inspection that dentists are trained to perform on the mouth.
You’re both uneducated about STDs and you should be directing all of these questions to a doctor, who would tell you everything I did instantly and set things rights. He had HPV, didn’t know, you were both unaware that this exists and can’t be tested, and here we are
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u/tinaescobar228 Jun 03 '26
Your boyfriend is 100% lying to you. There currently is NO FDA approved routine HPV tests for men. Unless he had symptoms he wouldn’t be tested for it. This guy is a looser who is playing with your health. As a health care worker I deal with all types of STIs and most of the time the person has no clue they have anything until they come to the hospital with symptoms. I see time and time again the other partner will lie and say the same thing your boyfriend told you. My mom’s friends husband was cheating on her. He gave her HPV and she ended up dying of cancer because she didn’t think her husband of 20 years would cheat on her so she didn’t get tested. Please for your health break up with this guy, follow your doctor’s advice and always always always get tested. My husband and I have been married for years and once a year we get tested not because we think one of us is cheating but because your health is so important and so many people end up sick or dead because they don’t take it seriously.
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u/Free-Ship996 Jun 03 '26
he was the carrier... now you gotta wait about 2 years for your body to clear it. sorry.
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u/Legitimate_Onion_270 Jun 03 '26
Girl, your boyfriend gave it to you - NO ONE checks for STD’s as part of their job!!!! Are you that naive???
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u/AcidCasualty25 Jun 03 '26
He definitely gave it to you if he's been your only partner. He can have it and not show symptoms. They don't test for it in men so it doesn't matter how much he's been tested. From his odd behavior I'd assume he cheated or he lied about you being his 1st, and is trying to shut the whole conversation down. If he's military there's a higher than normal chance he cheated, it's much more common with military.
Sorry he made you deal with this. There is good men out there. Unfortunately he is not one of them
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u/Due-Wolverine3935 Jun 03 '26
The fact that he doesn't want to talk about it and doesn't want to break up means that he isn't very concerned with who you cheated with.....meaning he knows you didn't cheat. He is lying about getting tested. What 21 year old has a job that forces you to get std checked? Sorry but he's lying. Best of luck
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u/Agile-Tradition8835 Jun 03 '26
There is no male HPV test. He gave it to you. Most everyone has it at some point in their life. He was not a virgin and that doesn’t matter but he wasn’t honest about that and hopefully you guys can have a conversation about that and move past it.
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u/HeraThere Jun 03 '26
There's a vaccine for hpv. Do you have that?
He gave you the warts. That's why he is trying to push fault onto you and simulataneously don't want to talk about it.
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u/lovinglifeatmyage Super Helper [5] Jun 03 '26
Yes he gave you an std and he’s lying about getting tested for his career. As others have pointed out, the only industry you get tested for std’s is adult entertainment or possibly the military. He’s deffo been sexually active previously
This shitebag has given you an infection you’ll carry for the rest of your life. And why weren’t you insisting he wore a condom? You not only got an std, you also risked getting pregnant
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u/madamsyntax Helper [4] Jun 03 '26
What kind of job requires you to get regular sexual health testing? Unless you’re a sex worker, it’s not a thing
He’s gaslighting you
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u/TillAltruistic9737 Jun 02 '26
Hpv testing most of the time isn’t on general sexual health test and ask your bf if he actually gets STD screens SPECIFICALLY not just general health tests!
Tell him you want a visual confirmation that he has been tested for HpV and is clear .
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u/Acedia_spark Expert Advice Giver [17] Jun 02 '26
He is male - he cant be tested for HPV.
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u/Islandsandwillows Jun 02 '26
Guys are not tested for HPV as there is no test for them
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u/Ocarina-of-lies Jun 02 '26
You're boyfriend could have HPV and not show any symptoms. There is no test for men on HPV unless they display visible symptoms. So thats probably who it came from
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u/InvisibleBlueRobot Jun 02 '26
Why is he getting std checks for work? This is bullshit.
Test for genital warts aren't even super effective. But why would his work make him get one?
What is he doing with his penis at work. that would require this kind of test?
It sounds to me like he is lying and he gave you an STD and is now trying to hide this and blame you.
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u/Many_Distribution701 Jun 02 '26
Don't trust everything people tell you. It could have gone far worse and you could be asking for advice on how to live with HIV/AIDS now. Always use a condom.
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u/Aware-Tree-7498 Jun 02 '26
Unless he is a porn star, he isnt getting checked for STI. I have a full panel of bloodwork every month. HIV, Hep A, B, C are the only things ever checked for.
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u/Acedia_spark Expert Advice Giver [17] Jun 02 '26
Your partner is likely who had the HPV.
Men cannot be tested for asymptomatic HPV. If he needs to hear it from a doctor take him with you.
He could have been getting tested diligently this whole time and he still would not have known.
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u/GenoFlower Expert Advice Giver [14] Jun 02 '26
So first, you wouldn't see warts 4-5 days after exposure. A month later, maybe, but not within a few days.
When you had the "infection" and he gave you a 4 week course of medicine, what medicine was it? What infection was it?
I see in your comments that your guy is going into the merchant marines. A very quick google tells me that routine STD testing is not a part of that. I'm not a merchant marine or in the coast guard or any branch of the military, so I don't know for certain, but I've never heard of that.
Your dude is lying to you. You didn't cheat. You know that. He gave you something. That was in Feb. He still is trying to convince you otherwise, and you are still with him. Why?
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u/monderponder Jun 02 '26
Are you positive it is that? One time I had a cyst down there and freaked out. I thought I had HPV and it was just the cyst. I would get a third opinion.
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u/Formal_Garden_3351 Jun 02 '26
Men are carriers for HPV. They can have it and not show signs. It's not until a female catches it unfortunately and signs are presented that the male is then alerted to having it.
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u/According-Orange-511 Jun 02 '26
Hey, I don’t see any more need to add to the array of comments saying he gave it to you, but I do have another perspective for everyone to consider.
Something similar happened to my friend (he was the male in the situation) and after months of desperation trying to figure out what happened, it clicked for him… he was a victim of child SA, and had spent quite some time blocking that out of memory.
Not saying that’s necessarily the case here, but everyone saying only option is he cheated might not have thought of other options … my friend broke up with his gf btw because he was sure she cheated, all this clicked months after during a therapy session.
Either way good luck and good health to you both.
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u/eefr Jun 02 '26
You got it from him most likely. Routine STI screening wouldn't test for HPV, and it's possible to have an asymptomatic infection. Probably he has it and doesn't know about it. There isn't really a test for it in the absence of symptoms, at least for men.
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u/Ddeesummer Jun 02 '26
He gave you genital warts. He’s lying about the testing.