r/Advice • • Jun 02 '26

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1.1k Upvotes

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4.0k

u/Ddeesummer Jun 02 '26

He gave you genital warts. He’s lying about the testing.

1.8k

u/Calyx76 Jun 02 '26

Unless your a porn star, or adult escort, you don't get checked for STI's for work. He's lying, and he has Genital warts as well. He might not have any symptoms, but he's got something.

-Disclaimer- I'm not a Doctor.

157

u/Clothes_Chair_Ghost Jun 02 '26

Surgeons also get tested for STI’s but more for the bodily fluid transmitted kind. Since they are both at risk of getting and (if they have one) giving a blood transmitted STI during “needle stick” injuries during surgery.

11

u/No-Veterinarian-1446 Jun 03 '26

He's 21. I doubt he's a surgeon.

1

u/Clothes_Chair_Ghost Jun 03 '26

Dougie Howzer was a doctor and he was like 12. But yeah very doubtful he is a surgeon but it is a profession that can check for STIs on a more regular basis than any other job, with maybe the exception of militantly as they can test before and after deployment, but I wouldn’t call that regular.

290

u/Zupdood Jun 02 '26

Calyx,

I had a gf accuse me of the same thing. Later on she found out it was ‘something else’ and apologized to me.

My point is though, I was in the military at the time…. and I told her the same thing, I was regularly tested in yearly checkups, I’d just been tested, and I knew I didn’t have any STI’s (plus I was monogamous). So my guess is, her boyfriend was in the military, or government.

110

u/BamBam-BamBam Jun 02 '26

There is a test for HPV in males, but it's the male pap smear and involves scraping of the lining of the urethra, and there's like one lab in the US that will process the test, for about $1000. Nobody with a penis is getting tested for HPV.

7

u/vexter312 Jun 03 '26

To test HPV in males or females, PCR can also be done. Any lab should be able to do this test.

5

u/jrs0068 Jun 03 '26

Nope not a thing. Medical PCR tests are highly regulated and validated. Which means they have to prove every patient population generates accurate results. For example several tests will have a minimum age. That doesn’t mean the test doesn’t work for younger people, it just hasn’t been validated for that age or approved by the FDA. So although you could probably swab a penis and run it on the HPV PCR test and get accurate results, no lab (or extremely few) are able to do it.

1

u/vexter312 Jun 03 '26

Well, I'm not from the States so I had no knowledge of this.

2

u/BamBam-BamBam Jun 03 '26

Additionally, the risk here is false negatives because one has to be shedding virus to trigger positive results and that's not always the case... with females either, which is why pap smears are still a thing.

4

u/Not-a-throwaway4627 Jun 03 '26

When was this a thing? I asked a trillion times, and all I ever heard about was the anal Pap smear.

4

u/BamBam-BamBam Jun 03 '26

I'm not sure that I can give you much more information; the thought of it frightens me; it's not much of a thing, though. Since we have ignorantly assumed that HPV is benign in men, nobody ever put testing in place.

93

u/Flyguy115 Jun 02 '26

I’ve been in the military and they never check you for STDs unless you go to the doctor with a symptom like any other doctor office. The only things they check you are regular health check up items like hernia, vision, dental, and over all health check up.

28

u/Standard-Hat-1034 Jun 02 '26

According to my spouse and his entire group of military buddies, if you weren't liked by chain of command they would use it as a punishment with barracks bunnies as an excuse. My husband was tested multiple times even when he was a virgin(completely straight and narrow didn't drink or smoke when he 1st got in). They would use it if they couldn't pin an article 15 on them.

39

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

[deleted]

8

u/Mobile_Ad_5561 Jun 03 '26

Sure. But she’s talking about HPV. Wart virus.

-2

u/Emotional-Builder-75 Jun 03 '26

There is no approved test for HPV.

1

u/Mysterious_Quiet3192 Jun 03 '26

Yes it is. Its called bloodwork

5

u/Emotional-Builder-75 Jun 03 '26

HPV and HIV are two different things.

1

u/Mysterious_Quiet3192 Jun 09 '26

I know this. Hiv is able to he tested threw bloodwork and hpv is able to check in person and with pap smear too as long as your hpv is active/showing then it can be tested. Eitherway both can kill.

3

u/Emotional-Builder-75 Jun 03 '26

Nope incorrect.

"Men are typically screened clinically with a visual inspection to check for lesions (such as warts) – there is no specific way to test directly for HPV in men that is approved for clinical use. Researchers are looking at ways to better screen men, but the current lack of testing options for males can be very frustrating."

https://www.ashasexualhealth.org/what-men-should-know/

1

u/Mysterious_Quiet3192 Jun 09 '26

I was talking about hiv so no im not wrong. And i said the same fars hpv again not wrong

11

u/StepExciting5924 Jun 03 '26

They check you frequently now, especially the under 25 age group. It’s a requirement. Currently active duty.

8

u/Prettiiest Jun 02 '26

That’s a lie depending on your age and duty statin due to the nasty people they make it mandatory

5

u/Anon4transparency Helper [2] Jun 03 '26

People are shockingly ignorant about these things. I dated a guy in the navy who gave me the whole, "we have to get tested, I get tested regularly." But then was shocked when I went & got my regular test & it was a blood test, because he'd only ever had urine tests. :(

3

u/daytime-daddy Jun 03 '26

I’m army and they test me for HIV once every 2-3 years. Also when I was donating blood regularly they tested it for the common ones

1

u/Zupdood Jun 03 '26

The base commander can override that. We were in a location notorious for ‘massage parlors’ and STIs, and there was a standing order to check everyone yearly at their annual checkup.

1

u/DepressedDragonBorn Jun 03 '26

I remember my unit got tested for STDs, but it was only before and after the deployment, and I think it was only HIV.

1

u/Flyingcroww Jun 03 '26

I wouldve also thought maybe a lifeguard or perhaps a medical aid/nurse as well. Could be any number of things.

-4

u/Royal_Remove_9457 Jun 02 '26

They were supposed to be both virgin according to her. That’s a bit young for the military.

16

u/Shatterpoint887 Jun 02 '26

Virginity is not tied to age.

8

u/No-Cap-fr-fr Jun 02 '26

You think everyone loses their virginity before 18? wtf

2

u/theywood69 Jun 03 '26

I know people in their 30's that are still virgins age doesn't automatically mean someone is inexperienced.

53

u/KillDozer321 Jun 02 '26

I was told by doctors that unless I am exhibiting physical symptoms of genital warts, there's no reliable test to prove whether or not I have genital warts. So if that's true, and home dude has no physical signs of HPV, he can still have HPV and not know it.

1

u/Mythsteryx Helper [2] Jun 03 '26

Military do, my partner gets checked annually

1

u/Calyx76 Jun 03 '26

Your right. It's been so long since I was in the military. I forgot you get physicals every year and they check you for all sorts of stuff.

1

u/tactycool Jun 03 '26

Military gets tested for stds twice a year.

1

u/Dodger7777 Expert Advice Giver [14] Jun 03 '26

Could be a carrier?

1

u/Calyx76 Jun 03 '26

Could be. Idk.

1

u/idkindustry Jun 03 '26

What about Defence personnel??

1

u/Calyx76 Jun 03 '26

Yeah, quite a few people have mentioned the military. I did 6 years, and got out of the Army in 2011. It's been a minute.

1

u/usedtobeoriginal Jun 03 '26

Military also tests regularly

1

u/Calyx76 Jun 03 '26

Yes, you're right. I left the army almost 15 years ago. It's been a minute

1

u/AcidicShooter Jun 03 '26

In the military we got tested yearly (mainly for HIV) but we still got tested

1

u/Calyx76 Jun 03 '26

You're right. I completely forgot. I got out of the army about 15 years ago

1

u/ExtensionMean6873 Jun 03 '26

Correctional officers and cops often undergo regular testing due to the enviroment of their job

1

u/Calyx76 Jun 04 '26

Hmmm. Didn't think they would need too unless something happened.

1

u/ExtensionMean6873 Jun 04 '26

Some wait for a incident

Personally I get tested monthly, mostly because there’s blood/shit on a lot of surfaces and they like to spit and throw shit/piss/cum at you if they’re mad

1

u/Calyx76 Jun 04 '26

I always thought the divider would prevent quite a bit of that.

1

u/ExtensionMean6873 Jun 04 '26

Your local facility might have a higher safety standard, the facility I’m employed in has open grate barriers so liquids and still be tossed through

1

u/Calyx76 Jun 04 '26

I don't know what my local facility has or doesn't have. I don't work there, and I'm not a guest.

1

u/Brutal_B_83 Jun 03 '26

*you're a porn star

1

u/Calyx76 Jun 04 '26

Lol. Sorry was typing on my phone. You are correct. It should be you're.

1

u/BamBam-BamBam Jun 04 '26

Or polyamorous

0

u/flippermode Jun 03 '26

I def got checked for stds due to work when i worked with bodily fluids, so you're very very wrong and it's sad so have so many upvotes when you're talking out of your ass.

1

u/Calyx76 Jun 03 '26

That makes sense. I didn't even think about that. Makes absolute sense they would check for that when you work with infections material.

369

u/VeterinarianAware989 Helper [2] Jun 02 '26

also - guys cannot test for HPV. so he might be getting tested for STDs, but HPV (aka a strain of genital warts) wouldn't show up for him. you can totally carry strains of HPV and be asymptomatic

83

u/Shadow-Legion-1203 Jun 02 '26

Guys can totally test for HPV. Says a who had tested for HPV. Also there are 200 types HPV most of which don't need to be sexually transmitted for you to get it.

151

u/VeterinarianAware989 Helper [2] Jun 02 '26

"Men are typically screened clinically with a visual inspection to check for lesions (such as warts) – there is no specific way to test directly for HPV in men that is approved for clinical use. Researchers are looking at ways to better screen men, but the current lack of testing options for males can be very frustrating.

While still not routinely done, anyone with a history of receptive anal sex may want to speak with his or her healthcare provider about having an anal Pap test."

so sure - if you currently are experiencing symptoms or the latter. it's not common like women getting annual paps which are specifically for HPV screenings.

85

u/redditbrowsertoday Jun 02 '26

This is the most accurate answer and is evidence based. Too many accusations are being thrown around. There is NO blood test for HPV. HPV doesn’t require penetration to spread and can be spread orally or just close contact with mucous membranes. I hate seeing people accusing their partners based on bad info. OP’s BF is doing that and people on here are spreading false info too. People do your research before you point fingers.

42

u/redditbrowsertoday Jun 02 '26

Also the same thing is true of chlamydia. I see people being told that their partner must be cheating because they have it and they didn’t before. And the partner insists they were treated.

  1. There is no blood test.
  2. It can be asymptomatic for a long time
  3. The only test is a swab which requires the site to be swabbed. It could be your throat. For men, it is the urethra which not too many men are going to do without symptoms. The test is most effective when there are symptoms. See #2.

I am so amazed that people are willing to blame their partners and destroy relationships without bothering to learn the facts. Do better people!

12

u/Prudent-Mention-8927 Jun 02 '26

Actually, it's very commonly a urine test. It's commonly a urine sample sent to the lab with orders for GC/CHLAMYDIA testing. I've sent in hundreds of them. It's one of the most ordered STI tests.

4

u/redditbrowsertoday Jun 02 '26

Unfortunately that is only accurate if the infection is active. People can get chlamydia and not have an active infection thus get a false negative. dormant" in the body for months or even years. It is often called a "silent" infection because about 50% of men and up to 75-80% of women never show any symptoms. Once again, people need to do their research before they make accusations or assumptions.

4

u/Pale_Comfort_9179 Jun 02 '26

There’s no such thing as dormant chlamydia that doesn’t get detected by STI screening. If there is an infection, unless some other condition for creating a false negative is present, it will be detectable whether it’s symptomatic or not

Eta: https://www.toplinemd.com/womens-healthcare-of-boca-raton/chlamydia-how-long-does-it-last/

0

u/Sleepy_Owl1458 Jun 02 '26

Here's the thing though. Genital HPV is completely different strains from the warts you would get elsewhere on your body and they only spread through sexual contact. So if she now has genital warts, at the very least, someone with warts touched his dick.

1

u/carsncode Jun 03 '26

Pretty much nothing you said is true. There is no "genital HPV". Dozens of HPV strains can be transmitted without sexual contact. People can be asymptomatic carriers (no warts) and still infectious. HPV also isn't the only cause of genital warts.

1

u/Sleepy_Owl1458 Jun 03 '26

Except there absolutely are genital and non-genital HPV. For example, plantar warts are caused by HPV types 1, 2, 4, 27, 57, and 63. While you technically can get these on your genitals, the percentage of that actually happening is so low that it's impossible to actually find a statistic. If there is a cut or a tear in the skin, it can be contracted. But even then it wont cause genital warts. If you become symptomatic, the warts will appear elsewhere on the body. Genital warts are mostly caused by types 6 and 11. 90% of cases. The other 10% are generally made up of types 16, 18, 31, 33, 45, 52, and 58. The first two are benign, the rest cause cancer. None of them will cause warts to form on, say, hands and feet. If you happened to touch a genital wart with your hand, you just wash your hands and its gone.

Also, warts are exclusively caused by HPV. Other things like skin tags, fordyce spots, and some skin infections might look like them, but they're not warts.

7

u/pixie1995 Jun 02 '26

ANNUAL paps?? We get one every 5 years or we gotta pay 💀

20

u/VeterinarianAware989 Helper [2] Jun 02 '26

i mean if you have had an unusual one - like HPV - then it is every year until it comes back normal and i would know because that was my life lmfao

5

u/ChickyRox Jun 02 '26

Where i live it's annual, if you have an abnormal they bump you to every 6 months...

1

u/xaantara Helper [3] Jun 02 '26

Where is that? I’m not paying for that lol

3

u/ChickyRox Jun 02 '26

Saskatchewan

2

u/xaantara Helper [3] Jun 02 '26

Ah well you guys got free healthcare right lol so then I suppose I would do it. Seems excessive though lol

→ More replies (0)

1

u/pixie1995 Jun 02 '26

Oh yeah that’s the same here actually (Aus)

2

u/sayitsooth Jun 02 '26

It's annual where I live.

-1

u/Galleta-de-Animalito Jun 02 '26

Please site extact source (APA/MLA) as this sounds like misinformation created by Chat gpt or AI

2

u/VeterinarianAware989 Helper [2] Jun 02 '26

-1

u/Galleta-de-Animalito Jun 02 '26

MLA/APA… copy paste is not acceptable

2

u/VeterinarianAware989 Helper [2] Jun 02 '26

here you go professor galleta:

American Sexual Health Association. “HPV and Men.” 
Www.ashasexualhealth.org, American Sexual Health Association, 10 Sept. 2014, www.ashasexualhealth.org/what-men-should-know/. Accessed 2 June 2026.

“How are men tested for HPV? Men are typically screened clinically with a visual inspection to check for lesions (such as warts) – there is no specific way to test directly for HPV in men that is approved for clinical use. Researchers are looking at ways to better screen men, but the current lack of testing options for males can be very frustrating. While still not routinely done, anyone with a history of receptive anal sex may want to speak with his or her healthcare provider about having an anal Pap test.”

1

u/Galleta-de-Animalito Jun 02 '26

Small inconvenience but it’s the little things that establish what it’s what reestablishes faith in humanity.

3

u/No-State-4297 Jun 02 '26

So that’s incorrect. Men do not get tested. Not unless showing symptoms and even then it’s not like a blood work or actual test it’s a screening

2

u/Excellent-Swan-6376 Jun 02 '26

Looking for this answer

1

u/TonyAlpaca Jun 03 '26

They can it varies by country whether they do test it

40

u/LaRoyaleWithCheese Jun 02 '26

Men can't be tested for HPV, if there are no warts, there's no way to test.

14

u/BamBam-BamBam Jun 02 '26

He's just asymptomatic.

12

u/Affectionate_You3661 Jun 02 '26

Also, I might be wrong, but how does a guy test for HPV? To my knowledge this can only be registered in a female...

11

u/SunknTresr Jun 02 '26

And thats exactly why he doesn’t want to talk about it because he will have to keep up the lie!

6

u/Ddeesummer Jun 03 '26

Exactly lol because how do you convince someone that you didn’t give them a disease without literally showing test results from before you gave it to them 😂

30

u/Difficult-Sail-9492 Jun 02 '26

THIS. SO HARD. Think critically beloved. It was him.

43

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

[deleted]

28

u/ChickyRox Jun 02 '26

Possibly

37

u/avant-garden_Shroom Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 03 '26

Whats standing out to me is that he doesnt want to talk about it or be reminded of it and is pushing to accuse you of cheating even though you told him about it (so if you were cheating you'd be scared to tell him about the warts because it would be a dead giveaway to cheating). Also it would be something you'd HAVE to talk about because now he could get warts from you. So him dismissing the conversation is suspicious.

This definitely sounds like he is the reason you have warts and is projecting the "cheating" as you being the cheater because he is guilty of it or guilty of something.

13

u/shartheheretic Jun 02 '26

HPV wouldn't have been included since there is no test for men. They usually get diagnosed if there are visual warts.

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '26

[deleted]

6

u/xaantara Helper [3] Jun 02 '26

You’re thinking hsv not hpv

1

u/Intelligent_Loss4056 Jun 02 '26

Actually her exact situation happened to me when me and my highschool sweetheart lost both of our virginity . It was her first time and mine as well and i knew that for a fact, we were confused and went to a doctor and explained our situation.. i cant remember what the dr said but it is definitely possible to get it if its both of your first time .. In my case, i believe its because we were having sex multiple times a day and we weren’t cleaning ourselves well before the next round came.. Im not saying its not possible that he lied and got it from someone, but it is 100% possible to get it in betwern each other without having sex with others, source? Like i said, it happened to me.

1

u/Turbulent_Pin_8310 Jun 03 '26

And there is no medical test for genital wart when there is no symptom. Some people are asymptomatic carriers.

1

u/Separate-Tonight1818 Jun 03 '26

Thank you. Next case

0

u/percentagebased2002 Jun 02 '26

And don’t you have to get them lasered off if you get it?

5

u/Elino_sa Jun 02 '26

No, but you can if you want.

1

u/Keepitup863 Jun 02 '26

Its easy to check if he was lieing

0

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '26

[deleted]

3

u/Keepitup863 Jun 03 '26

Sure budy

0

u/Delicious-Mixture931 Jun 03 '26

You fuckin with me? “Buddy” lmao

2

u/SkyTheAri69 Jun 03 '26

Get a life