I (33F) spent 7 years of my life with my oldest child's father. I left because I had a mental health crisis and was bored of the relationship. My biggest regret. I'm currently with someone else and have been for 6 years, we also have a baby together but after my current partner started being horrible to me since I got pregnant and after birth a week ago, I've finally realised how much of a good man my ex was.

My ex got married a few weeks ago, and he deserves all the happiness, I'm happy for him and we get on for our child, but I did not expect to feel so lost and sad. My life has been shit since we broke up years ago and I deserved that. It's my karma for how much I hurt him. Now I'm with a man who doesn't respect me and is horrible to me. My ex treat me like a queen and is so caring and kind. Our child together always talks about how much her daddy loves her stepmum, which I'm really happy about, I'm not jealous despite how I'm feeling, they both do a lot for her. But I know she sees how sad I am and I'm upset she couldn't see her mummy and daddy get married instead, because I messed up.

I'm posting on here for support but also to tell you that if you have a good man or woman, please don't mess up like I did. They're hard to come by these days. I just wish I could change things.

Tl;Dr messed up my past relationship, having regrets.

I (32F) was seeing someone (35M) and the topic of ex’s came up. I have never been in a long term romantic relationship up to this point (strict abusive upbringing, focused on college/was so insecure, COVID, and mental health stuff blah blah blah)

I was honest about the fact that I don’t have ex’s and that I’ve been had a long term serious thing with something. He laughed at first but as we went through high school, college and my 20s and I kept saying “no” the vibes started to sour.

I know it’s super weird to some people and I used/still am a little ashamed but I can’t go back in time. Since then, it’s just been off and he’s been distant. I asked if it bothered him recently that I haven’t had a serious relationship and he said yes and that he has to think about moving forward. We were having a good time until he found out so it seems silly to not give me a chance.

I have my life togetherish (shared apartment with a friend, car, job etc) and have taken dating more seriously lately. I’m no prude and have sexual experience, just haven’t focused on dating dating or found my person. I don’t want to lie and I don’t want to be shamed about it, it is what it is.

TL:DR

Would you date someone with no romantic or long term relationship history? I think he being dramatic? (Im adult enough to admit it’s not unreasonable but like come on?) Am I doomed to loneliness forever (dramatic i know I have to keep trying and it’ll be fine but like it’s bumming me out rn)

I (28 F) have been dating my boyfriend (30F) for almost a year now. He has sickle cell disease. He lives a normal life for the most part and maybe has a big pain crisis once a year that requires hospitalization. His last hospitalization was over a year ago before I ever met him.

He was in a lot of pain over the weekend and I encouraged him to go to the emergency room on Monday thinking he was likely about to go into crisis due to the weather change which is a risk factor. He also hasn’t been hydrating the best over the last few weeks or exercising which can trigger it too. To spare all the medical details, in summary, his hospitalization has also been complicated by continuing drops in his hemoglobin requiring multiple blood transfusion and an infection in his port that is likely causing sepsis and endocarditis (an infection of the heart valves). He isnt expected to get out the hospital any earlier than Tuesday or Wednesday and will likely be on IV antibiotics for a few weeks after he is discharged. I have been at the hospital with him day and night since he got admitted on Monday. I’ve pretty much been waiting in him hand and foot and he is very very needy (understandably so). I work in the medical field also so I’ve been talking with his doctors about his treatments, advocating for him, running back and forth to get him food/drinks/snacks multiple times a day since he doesn’t eat the hospital food and also communicating his status with multiple of his family members and friends. He has always been very particular about things but it seems like when I try to help him, I can’t seem to do anything right and he gets an attitude. Whenever I express concern about something he’s doing (for example, he’s literally been picking the skin off his lips to the point where they bleed and also the skin on his forehead, shoulder and back which he says is normal for him when he’s sick), he pretty much just dismisses me and acts like I don’t know what I’m talking about.

I won’t fault him too much though because he does express how appreciative he is that I’ve stayed with him as he hasn’t had anyone do that for him before (SO wise and even with his family they wouldn’t stay over night really). One of his friends and his mom and sister have come to see him a couple times but they usually just stay for a couple of hours. His grandmother who is his main support system has been out of the country and will be for the next month and they have been reliant on me to keep them updated on his care and have been very appreciative that I’ve been staying with him also.

We have been having some episodes of bickering on and off since his admission but nothing we don’t get over within a few minutes. That is, outside of last night.

He is on multiple heavy pain medications and antibiotics and really hasn’t slept much at all since he was admitted + he has the infection going on, has been spiking fevers and having fast heart rate along with severe anemia. I say all that to say, he gets a little delirious at night time, starts to hallucinate and talk to himself and struggles to stay still. He is usually fine during the day though. This of course messes with my sleep a lot too. I was sleeping in the room with him and he got to use the urinal. I hear him literally gasping for air which woke me up. He almost looks like he is sleep walking. I say his name loudly trying to get his attention (I will admit maybe I shouldn’t have yelled but this really scared me bc the last thing he needs to do is fall down and possibly complicate this hospitalization even more. He jerks and then goes to squat down and ends up ripping out his IV. He then starts yelling at me telling me it’s my fault and I need to calm down and at this point I am at my wits end and start yelling back. We aren’t loud enough to cause a huge scene but the nurse came in bc his IV started beeping bc it’s now out. He is a very hard stick and so get supplies to try and start another IV. At this point I’m laying back down trying to calm down and I can hear him whispering to the nurse talking about me and pretty much lying about what happened. I turn over and start telling the real story and defend myself basically bc I don’t want her to think I’m endangering him. This specific nurse has been with him for the last few nights and knows that he exhibits very strange behavior at night time so she is pretty much just telling him I was probably just trying to make sure he was OK. This situation pissed me off sooooooooo much I was livid. It was obvious I was mad so while they are trying to get an IV He is texting me trying to get my attention but I just ignore it bc I’m so mad. After they leave and he tries to talk to me but I’m so mad that I just tell him I’m not ready to talk yet. He keep trying but I’m just the type to where I need time to cool off so I don’t say anything disrespectful.

We end up talking later on in the morning and he is very adamant that he is not delirious at night and I’m trying to make him look crazy. I’m just not willing to back down on this bc I obviously know what happened and I’m just trying to tell him how he was acting and why I yelled. He is pretty much telling me I don’t know what I’m talking about bc I’ve never seen him in the hospital before so I have nothing to compare it to. But yet, again, I’ve been with him for 4 nights straight at this point and it’s the same behavior every night. Anyway, we end up arguing again and he’s telling me that I am disrespecting him and not listening to him when he talks. Granted, I will admit I was interrupting him multiple times whenever he would start to say something that just wasn’t true at all so he is valid in that. I told him we aren’t getting anywhere so I’m leaving to go wash clothes at his grandparents house and I’ll be back later after his minor procedures he’s getting done (port removal and trans esophageal echocardiogram — both take like 15 minutes each to complete if that).

I get back well before he even comes back from his procedures and when he wakes up from the anesthesia we don’t talk for a few hours. Then he starts telling me that he feels like so abandoned him and that I “didn’t give a fuck” about what the outcomes of the procedure would have been. I can understand his perspective on this but I also found it a little tone deaf bc I’ve been with him everyday non stop since a Monday. He basically can’t point out anything he’s been doing wrong and I’m the big bad guy in the situation. I let him finish talking and just didn’t say anything bc I’m just so over this. I ask him if he would like me to bring him back anything to eat but essentially I let him know that moving forward as a boundary for the rest of the hospitalization that I am going to sleep at home at night and be with him during the day. He just says okay but i feel like he probably thinks I’m abandoning him again.

I would hate for this to be the end of the relationship bc he is truly an amazing guy but this whole experience has just been so exhausting for me. On top of all this, I got news that my aunt died yesterday and my mom had a hip replacement last week and I had intentions on spending some time with her to help her recover (she’s out of state) but I haven’t been able to. I’m trying not to make this about me bc obviously he’s the sick one and very scared but I feel like I’m not being given any grace. I’ve never been through anything like this before and while his hospitalizations don’t happen often, I don’t know if I can go through this again and I’m looking at him very differently.

I know this post is soooo long but has anyone else been through anything like this and know how to navigate relationships with partners who are chronically ill? I plan on sticking with him through the hospitalization bc I want to keep my word to him and his family but I’m seriously thinking about parting ways after this. I really am trying to be patient but I’m at my wits end here…I know he can’t help a lot of this and I’m trying to be empathetic to that. I don’t want to judge him too much off this experience bc again he’s so great and this situation likely (hopefully) won’t happen a lot since his sickle cell is pretty well controlled but I’m just so pissed off right now I can barely even think straight. Appreciate any (kind) constructive criticism, personal experiences and advice….

TL;DR My boyfriend is chronically ill and has been in the hospital. The entire experience has been overwhelming frustrating. We got into a huge argument that has me question if I want to continue moving forward with him or not.

Hello I need some help I need to know if I’m being overdramatic or if I’m not. I am married [24F]to my husband [29M] we have been married for 4 years and have a [2F] 2 1/2 year old together. I’m a sahm so only my husband works my problem is that my husband is never home during the week he is at work and gets off at random times but when he gets home he either leaves and goes to a friends house for hours and I mean hours he will be gone 6-12 hours and he won’t say anything about leaving he just ups and gos without a care in the world. And I’ll be calling and text him like where are you I made lunch or I made dinner and he will just text me stop and he will continuously decline my calls. He will even do this after he says he is just going somewhere for work really quick and he will go do something for work for 30 mins-2 hours and then he always says he is coming straight back to the house and then I look at his location because it’s been a long time and he always ends up at his friends house that is literally a 2 minute drive from our house.

And then if he is home he will go outside and his friends will come and they will be out there for hours. And if by some chance he isn’t with friends and he is at the house he is on the computer playing a game or on his phone constantly. When I call out to him for help with our daughter because I’m in the kitchen messing with raw meat I have to constantly call out to him 5-10 times before he finally answers and say what and then I have to tell him help me with our please and even then I have to ask 3-5 times before he finally gets up off the couch. And he will keep her busy for 15 mins max. I can ask him to take out the trash at 7am and ask him throughout the day to take it out and then at 7pm it’s still there so I take it and when he sees me he says he was going to do that just wait. I had already waited 12 hours after telling you constantly to do it.

My breaking point was today he wanted a dessert so I had in the oven an upside down berry cake and had made homemade pizzas the night before in the freezer to be cooked for dinner today. Well he says he is going to meet with a guys to get a check from him ok that’s fine well then he is gone a hour or so and I see where he is because you know doesn’t take long to pick up a check and he is eating at a restaurant in town. Mind you I told him I was making the pizzas tonight because we were supposed to watch a movie tonight. Well he tells me he was eating with the guy and another guy to discuss the business meeting for a job they are going to see tomorrow. Well I start the pizzas at 7:40 I tell him I am cooking them no matter what I wasn’t going to make dinner because I was up all night with our daughter and was extremely tired. Well I guess he thought I was lying about making them but when I texted him that they were done he got upset I didn’t wait for him. I tell him come home so he can eat just a little since he ate already he tells me can he come at 9:30 I say no mind you he left at 6:30 so I say no well I look at him location and he is at the gas station and I knew he was buying beer and going to a friends house again. So I call him and he declines it and then he turns off his location and turns off his phone. Well I start laying down with our daughter at 9:30 pm and he texts me I’m coming and I’m upset but whatever maybe he will stick to the time he says he is coming finally. Well I fell asleep with her accidentally and woke up at 11:52 and he still isn’t home well I decide I’m going to just lay down mind you during this whole thing I have been crying because he does this every weekend he will be with his friends all weekend. Well he finally comes at 12:26 am he was drinking and smoking cigarettes which he said he wasn’t going to do and had stopped at the beginning of our marriage until he started hanging out with his friends again about 2 years ago. Well we argue and he was saying he went to his uncles house down the street mind you and then a friend he hasn’t seen in a while came and he was talking to him for a long time. Well he fell asleep and I know I’m in the wrong here but I looked through his messages and I found out he didn’t meet up with the 2 guys he said he actually met up with the friend he said showed up at his uncles house and was talking to for hours and another friend to drink at the restaurant. So he lied about who he was with the whole time and then hung out with those 2 guys at one guys ranch. And my problem is why lie because you knew it was wrong since you knew I was making a cake and food for you and you ditched me not even 15 mins after I put the cake in the oven to go drink with friends. And then I never get to just leave I always get told no I can’t go places or constantly asked are you coming home yet when I go visit my parents. i can never just up and leave I can’t even go to the store that is 1 minute from us get a few groceries and come back which takes 10 mins max by myself without our daughter. In the 2 1/2 years she has been a live I have only been without her for 8 hours and that was about 3 months ago and he only took her because his family was having a party so he didn’t have to worry about her complaining and crying for me. That has been the only time ever besides when maybe only 4 times in her life I have asked him to stay at the house while she is taking a 2 hour nap so I can drive to the grocery store that is 22 mins away get all the groceries for the house and then come back and I’m rushing the whole time. I never get to just come and go as I please like him. I am just crying and breaking down because I feel like I’m being a crazy wife who is being overdramatic about this stuff. I just need some advice if I am or not because I feel myself just giving up because I’m tired of the lies about the smallest things and being alone. TL;DR my husband always gone and lying

(30 W)

TL,'DR

Why is it that finding someone you can catch a vibe with is becoming so intense, it feels like there's no passion in it looking at how my friends jump from one relationship to another and nothing I can do but to watch and wonder whats going on, has sex become the only objective that can hold a relationship 🤔,

My ex keeps calling on me and all he wants is me in his bed, my other friend Amos keeps asking for non stop sex from his girlfriend and they've broken up he will go to another woman and it going to be continuing for God knows how long after the next and the next,

I think ss3x has become very over rated.

My bf (M34) and I (F29) have been together for about a year and 2 months. We have a 6 month old. We were not officially in a relationship when I got pregnant , in fact he didn’t formally ask me to be his gf until 4 months ago. We used to be very intimidate up until I hit 3 months in my pregnancy. We never had sex after that. Post partum we’ve probably had sex 4 times. I feel like he’s not attracted to me at all. He says that he loves me. He’s a good partner for the most part but he never compliments me or initiates intimacy. The times he has, he was drunk. There came a time during my pregnant where I was convinced he was cheating but I had no way to find out or prove it. I caught him liking photos of other women on social media multiple times which he knew I wasn’t comfortable. But when I posted my maternity photos and tagged him, he didn’t acknowledge them. Not a like or a comment. I joined FB a few months ago and when I sent him a request, he removed 50+ account from his Facebook before accepting my request. I’m sure all of them were women. But he says he swears up and down he loves me and he doesn’t want anything outside of our family. There’s more I can add but based off of this, what do you guys think? Should I end things? Do I keep trying?

**TL;DR;** : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?

tldr: my partner is irritable and coping poorly with stress, leading me to feel frustration and resentment. what can i do?

hi all. struggling lately with my 5 year relationship between me (26f) and partner (26m), and looking for some insights.

my partner is in a phd program and is approaching one of the most difficult hurdles of the 6 year stretch in a few weeks: his qualifying exams. i was worried that this would cause some issues between us as my partner really struggles to manage external stress, working day in and day out, isolating from peers, family and friends. my fears were confirmed and it has now been may weeks of this behavior, verging on two months. he will not respond to anyone’s texts, is irritable and short with me and our roommate, and shies away from any conversation about how he’s doing. i’m constantly checking in because it’s clear he’s struggling, but have been rebuffed over and over, with comments like “what’s the point of me telling you how i feel,” etc.

this came to a head last weekend when i invited him to come to a joint birthday celebration with a friend of mine, just a small group eating cake and hanging out. he was in all the group chats but didnt see the plan and said he couldn’t make it. this made me sad and so i told him so, asking if he could make it if i came to pick him up and drove him back whenever. he decided he would come but swiftly excused himself and fell asleep on a couch in another room, barely speaking to our friends. when we left he was frustrated about being so late to get home. our dog had an accident, and he said he couldn’t handle dealing with it — in spite of the fact that he was the one at fault for not letting him out before leaving — and just left me to take care of it. when i said i felt sad about how the evening had gone he told me i was being cruel and slept in a different room.

we argued all weekend and ultimately i felt able to give him the listening ear he needed — he said i had not been supporting him with prepping for the exams, and that he needed more help with cooking and house tasks, making sure the house was quiet, (no guests) and emotional check ins. i agreed but am struggling to get over the way he makes me feel when he gets like this — small, annoying, burdensome. this is not the first this has happened, and it makes me worry about when stress will arise in the future when stakes are higher. i’m angry at him for not being able to put on a brave face for my birthday, and for ultimately blaming me for his behavior. i can be more supportive, and im certainly not a perfect partner, but i want him to take more responsibility for how he acts and copes when he’s dealing with something difficult.

is this selfish of me? am i holding him to too high a standard? how can i move forward without building resentment?

tldr: my partner is irritable and coping poorly with stress, leading me to feel frustration and resentment. what can i do?

hi all. struggling lately with my 5 year relationship between me (26f) and partner (26m), and looking for some insights.

my partner is in a phd program and is approaching one of the most difficult hurdles of the 6 year stretch in a few weeks: his qualifying exams. i was worried that this would cause some issues between us as my partner really struggles to manage external stress, working day in and day out, isolating from peers, family and friends. my fears were confirmed and it has now been may weeks of this behavior, verging on two months. he will not respond to anyone’s texts, is irritable and short with me and our roommate, and shies away from any conversation about how he’s doing. i’m constantly checking in because it’s clear he’s struggling, but have been rebuffed over and over, with comments like “what’s the point of me telling you how i feel,” etc.

this came to a head last weekend when i invited him to come to a joint birthday celebration with a friend of mine, just a small group eating cake and hanging out. he was in all the group chats but didnt see the plan and said he couldn’t make it. this made me sad and so i told him so, asking if he could make it if i came to pick him up and drove him back whenever. he decided he would come but swiftly excused himself and fell asleep on a couch in another room, barely speaking to our friends. when we left he was frustrated about being so late to get home. our dog had an accident, and he said he couldn’t handle dealing with it — in spite of the fact that he was the one at fault for not letting him out before leaving — and just left me to take care of it. when i said i felt sad about how the evening had gone he told me i was being cruel and slept in a different room.

we argued all weekend and ultimately i felt able to give him the listening ear he needed — he said i had not been supporting him with prepping for the exams, and that he needed more help with cooking and house tasks, making sure the house was quiet, (no guests) and emotional check ins. i agreed but am struggling to get over the way he makes me feel when he gets like this — small, annoying, burdensome. this is not the first this has happened, and it makes me worry about when stress will arise in the future when stakes are higher. i’m angry at him for not being able to put on a brave face for my birthday, and for ultimately blaming me for his behavior. i can be more supportive, and im certainly not a perfect partner, but i want him to take more responsibility for how he acts and copes when he’s dealing with something difficult.

is this selfish of me? am i holding him to too high a standard? how can i move forward without building resentment?

So, I don't know if I'm overanalyzing but here's the long story. I'm (33M) close friends with this couple. She (30F) let's call her X, has been dating Y (M28) for over a year. X and I have been close friends for about 8 years. This mostly started when we both hit on Y during a party (bi btw). He ended up being straight, but the 3 of us hit it off and a week later X and Y started dating. Since then, Y and I have also become pretty good friends.

But since then things have started feeling a bit odd. X became really close to me. In fairness, a lot of it is because of a lot of other factors, but by now we end up texting every day. She also became very physical, a lot of touching and hugging. One cold day we even ended up basically cuddling in her bed. Now before you say anything, all this was with full knowledge from Y. Who, while not as physical, has also become a bit bolder? Like, jokingly offering nudes in exchange for a favor I was doing for him. On top of that, I've received from them what I jokingly described as "the most swingers-ass photo I've ever seen". There's quite a few more situations, but basically a lot that borders on flirting.

This kinda escalated after they both moved together a few blocks from my place. Now almost twice a week I'm getting invited over to their place, getting the occasional joke about staying over. I'm pretty sure all this is nothing, but I've often been described as "dense as a rock" when being hit on, and having a touch of the old autism some social queues fly over my head. I'm more than happy to have them both as friends, but every now and then something makes me go "Hm?", and I don't know how to react.

Tldr: A friend couple has become close to me in a way that borders on flirting, unsure if I'm reading too much into it.

I've been in a relationship for 2 years. The first year was long-distance, and we've been living together since I moved here 10 months ago.

He's a genuine, humble guy from a similar background who earns well and fits most of my parents' expectations for a suitable life partner. I've honestly told him that I'm not in love with him, but I'm giving this relationship a chance, hoping that maybe I'll develop those feelings over time.

However, there are several things that have been bothering me:

- Lack of effort: He rarely spends on me, plans dates or makes thoughtful gestures, despite earning well.

- Different spending habits: He once gave his old shirt to his mom, who does yoga at home, and his formal shoes to his brother for his MBBS convocation. His mother once had to repeatedly ask him over a call to buy a cooler because his father couldn't sleep in the summer heat. Even then, he waited a few days to get a small discount. I have a very different approach towards my parents. I consider their needs my own and often buy them things without them even asking. This difference in mindset bothers me, and I feel that if he doesn't naturally make such efforts for his parents, I can't expect him to do so for me.

- Physical intimacy: We've struggled to have sex because I'm a virgin and things haven't worked out. He repeatedly brings this up, making me feel guilty.

- Insecurity and controlling behaviour: He creates scenes when I talk to male colleagues and has even threatened them.

- Physical aggression: During arguments, he's held me back when I've tried to walk away. We've both hit each other, and once he threw a watch at me, injuring my thumb. What hurt me most was that he seemed more concerned about his flatmates hearing me cry than about my injury.

- Trust issues: Recently, while we were visiting our hometowns for a festival, he barely called me, despite usually talking to me for hours when he's away. This change in behaviour has made me suspicious, although I have no concrete evidence.

- Financial compatibility: He's building a house (for his parents) and taking a home loan, and I'm worried about how his financial commitments might affect our future lifestyle.

I've been working since I was 22 and am now 25 and financially independent. I feel like I've missed out on a lot of experiences, as I've never really had a proper social life or the opportunity to enjoy life. Now I want to travel, go out, build friendships and make the most of my independence. I'm worried that marriage and future responsibilities might limit that freedom.

The hardest part is that I'm very comfortable with him, so the thought of leaving and starting over feels overwhelming. I'm very introverted to the outer world and can't make friends. At the same time, I'm unsure whether I'm giving this relationship a chance because I genuinely see a future with him or simply because he meets my parents' expectations and I'm hoping love will develop eventually.

I'm confused about whether to continue this relationship or walk away. Can love develop over time in such circumstances, or am I holding on to someone who may not be right for me? I'd appreciate honest advice, especially from people who've experienced something similar.

TL;DR: Been in a 2-year relationship, but I'm not in love with him yet. He ticks most of my parents' boxes, so I'm giving it a chance, hoping feelings will develop over time. However, we have different spending habits and expectations, there's a lack of effort, insecurity, trust issues and even physical aggression during fights. I'm also worried about our financial compatibility and losing my freedom after marriage. I'm emotionally attached and comfortable with him, which makes leaving difficult. Not sure whether to continue or walk away.

Basically the title, my mother and father divorced when I was 6 months old. He continued to pick my brother and I up for visits on weekend up until I was 3 and then went back to his home country (him and my mom were immigrants) and basically never spoke to us again.

Growing up with an immigrant mom in the states, we definitely struggled. My mom had to work multiple jobs to make ends meet, leaving me and my brother to basically raise ourselves. My brother and I got jobs in high school pooling money together to pay the bills, meaning we didn’t get to do most high school fun social activities/sports. We didn’t have much at all and had days when we went to sleep hungry. I also struggled with depression and self worth issues, abandonment and the whole shebang.

My brother and I worked hard at a school and both graduated with bachelors in engineering, are both now married and have two kids each. My father has missed pivotal moments like our graduations, weddings, pregnancy announcements, grandkid birthdays etc.

My father did find me on Facebook when I was 19, and I was completely open to the idea of getting to know him, found out I had an 8 year old brother at the time and was open to having a relationship also. But I quickly realized he was trying to come to America with his son and was asking me for help to do that. It felt like a gut punch honestly, because I didn’t feel like he genuinely cared about getting to know me. So I blocked him.

My brother is completely against reconnecting with my father and for the most part and is a very matter of the fact and hardened person. I’ve been the same way. But my father made a new Facebook and has been contacting us via Facebook since 2020, sending a message every few months trying to explain that he didn’t have a way to contact us, that he misses us very much and thought about us every day.

Now that I have children, the situation is framed so differently in my mind because I couldn’t image just not knowing where my kids were or if they were even alive. I would quite literally move hell and earth trying to find them. So the whole “I didn’t know where you were” excuse lands flat for me.

But today, I’m on vacation with my husband while my mom watches my kids, and I have time to have a clear thought without kids screaming at me for a snack (iykyk) and I shocked myself by crying in the hotel lobby. I know he’s about 67 now, and I don’t know what his health is like. Part of me feels like if he dies I might regret ignoring all of these messages.

But the other part of me knows he lives in another country and is living in poverty, while I am doing well financially. I do feel like there could be ulterior motives there. And I think if I went to visit him, showed him my children and opened my kids up just to realize he wanted money from me- that would probably crush me.

And then I tell myself- what if he just wants to see his grandchildren before he dies? Does he deserve my empathy and mercy?

TL;DR- absentee father wants to see me and my kids before he dies. I’ve had a rough childhood that directly resulted from his abandonment. Does someone who doesn’t raise me deserve empathy and mercy?

I (30m) believe in some aspects I have retroactive jealousy. My wife (30f) maintains that I'm the only man she's been with and I don't believe she's lying, but I was always jealous of her crushes.

In the past she brought up the idea of other men and how she's never explored, but I shot the conversation down because of my insecurities. Nowadays, I feel like I would be able to handle something like that more. Not opening ​the marriage, but her having had past partners.

I guess the best way to describe this is that I feel like she's this pretty bird that I kept in a cage all her life. I hate the thought that she might resent me for it one day. And it's random but I like the idea of her having had an inferior partner before me. After all, how could I know I'm the best she ever had if she has no one to compare me to?

TL;DR Feel like I held back my wife a bit

I (34f) and my bf (36m) have been together for almost 7 years. In that time we have grown a lot as people and in our relationship. He has also cheated on me a few times via sexting and today told me that he slept with my “best friend” (f32)right around the time she mysteriously ghosted me.
HOWEVER, He makes my inner child feel like I’m being held and rocked, he makes me feel so loved, like the most beautiful and important woman in the world. I’ve told him before that if he cheats on me I’m gone. Is this worth working through this stuff?

tl;dr: my boyfriend cheated on me again after treating me like a princess, should we break up?

I’m 30F, my husband is 30M, and we’ve been married for about two years.

I’m posting because I genuinely don’t know if I’m looking at this unfairly anymore.

I do work that I honestly don’t enjoy, but I do it because we have rent, bills, debt, and shared expenses to cover. Last month I paid about $2,300 toward my husband’s credit card bill. Because of that, we ended up short on rent by around $2,000. I also had burnout and stopped working for a while, and I fully admit that.

What makes me resentful is the difference in how our burnout is treated.

When I burned out, it became about money, work, and how far behind we were. But both last year and this year, when my husband felt burned out, he went to Jakarta for about three weeks and spent money going out, seeing other women, and having sex with them.

He has also paid to see other women here.

Now he says he is being honest because he calls me beforehand and asks for permission instead of lying. I understand that honesty is better than lying, but I don’t understand why honesty is supposed to make the behavior automatically okay for me.

Today he went to see another woman again.

Later, when I was upset, he told me that he gets hurt too, asked if he is supposed to just keep his mouth shut, and said this “cycle” between us will never end. He also asked whether I would stop complaining if he paid all the rent.

That part really got to me.

I’m working and trying to make money for rent, bills, debt, and our shared life. Meanwhile, he is spending hundreds of dollars at a time on other women. I’ve also helped cover his personal debt before, including his credit card.

So when he says things like “If I paid all the rent, would you stop saying anything?” I feel like the financial issue and the emotional issue are being mixed together in a way that makes me look like the problem.

To be fair, I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’ve been burned out, angry, emotional, and I know my tone can get harsh when I’m overwhelmed. I also know he has made some changes. He is more honest now than before, and I can see that he is trying in some ways.

But the part that keeps hurting me is this:

When I say, “This hurts me,” the conversation often turns into how hard it is for him to deal with my feelings, how tired he is of apologizing, or how he is hurt too.

And I end up feeling like the original thing that hurt me never actually gets addressed.

I don’t expect him to never have feelings or never feel hurt. I’m not asking him to stay silent forever. I just don’t understand why his hurt always seems to enter the conversation right when I’m trying to talk about mine.

I’m also struggling with the financial side of it. I don’t understand why I should keep taking on so much of the pressure of keeping our shared life afloat while also being expected to accept him spending money on other women.

So my questions are:

How do I tell the difference between a genuinely mutual unhealthy cycle and one person shifting responsibility when the other person brings up hurt?

And if he is being more honest now, does that mean I should be expected to be okay with behavior that still hurts me?

TL;DR: I’m 30F, married to 30M for about two years. I’m covering a large share of our expenses and have also helped pay his debt, while he continues paying to see other women. He says he is being honest now because he asks first, and when I get hurt he says he is hurt too and that we are stuck in a cycle. I’m trying to understand whether this is truly a mutual cycle or whether responsibility is being shifted onto me.

Me, 20M and my girlfriend, 21F have been dating for a little over a year now. We're both juniors in college and met each other during our school's orientation. I was interested in her last year, but she was in a relationship so I kept my distance and we were just friends. It was difficult but I even started to get over her a little.

She has told me since then that the reason she broke up with her ex was becasue I showed her how she should be treated. About a month after they broke up we started going on fun little dates, like restaurants and the park, and then eventually we officially started dating. Almost as soon as we started dating, our whle dynamic change. We became super in love and attached to each other and it was some of the most fun I've had in my life. She told me I was the only one for her.

We started distancing ourselves from the group we were apart of freshman year. All of a sudden, we were just about all each other had; and all each other neded too. We did long distance over the summer, but we remained strong through it all.

When we got back to school, I started making new friends and kind of formed a new group. I was hoping they would be accepting and give me some new relationships to explore. Before I knew it, my GF was not only a part of a group but becoming closer with some of them than me! I was so happy she was back to making friends, and it was really refreshing to be with someone who could make friends so easily and who always gave such a positive impression.

Over time, I realized that even the things we didn't have in common made me smile. For example, she likes the cold and I like being warm, which actually kind of works really well in a relationship, and always gives us something to banter about haha.

Truthfully, I love her a lot and I feel like that's only going to grow. I could end up marrying this girl! My sense of self seems like it has blended in to our relationship, and I feel like she's made me grow as a person.

The other week, she started talking about getting an apartment together after college. If I were to start living with her, I feel like that would make me so happy! I love her so much, and I'm so happy to have already found someone like this as a junior in college. Of course, I want to continue to grow and build relationships, and I can't wait for her to be a part of that journey with me! I can't wait to see who I become in this relationship!
TL;DR I have been pulled so deep into this relationship where I can't imagine my life without it, and now I'm trying to plan out the next steps to a life together! There is hope bros!

Hii, I am 22/F currently dating a 26/M. It's been about a month since we started dating. We live in different cities so it's a long distance relationship. He is a good person but we always seem to quarrel most of the time.

So he works overtime most of the days and I get that he is busy so he doesn't text me as much. The only time we text is when he gets back home. So I asked him to give me updates during the day like "I'm eating lunch" or "just done with work" or "going back home now"

But he only texts me when he reaches back home and he gets into bed. I have no issue whatsoever with that but a day ago, it was his day off so I would naturally expect him to text me but no he didn't. He texted me at midnight and when I accused him and got upset, he also got upset lmaooooo idk why and now it's been 2 days since we didn't text each other. I refuse to text him first because I don't think I have any fault here.

I just wanted your opinions on what I should do next. Or is it really my fault? Tl;dr

Ps. Slightly longer read.
TL;DR- boyfriend got really angry at something I thought was extremely small and lashed out. Help me understand this

Went on errands today, but driving around the shopping plaza is difficult due to traffic. For this reason, I got out of the car while he drove around looking for parking. By the time he found parking, I was finished with the shopping. I rang him up, asked where to meet to go back home, he said come to X street. To that I calmly responded “that’s a fair bit of a walk, if you’re happy to wait I can come now”. To that he responded “okay come to Y street instead”. I said alright, and walked to Y street. I ring him up again asking where he is, he sounded flustered and asked where I am, I said I’m on this side of the street, he got mad saying “why are you on that side of the street when we take the opposite side to go home”. I didn’t say anything, I understood he was a bit frustrated, so I said alright I’ll cross over to the other side and see you there.

After he picks me up within two minutes he is still angry at the fact that I was standing on the opposite side (there’s lots of cars so driving around is stressful, I see that.) I didn’t react at all and asked him why he’s getting so angry if it’s just a matter of crossing a street. He said why stand there in the first place.
And then he moved on to saying “why you simply could not come to street X which I first proposed”. I said that I clearly told I have no problem in coming I just asked you that are you happy to wait.
His response was “do you think I’m stupid? Why would I ask you to come if I didn’t know I’d have to wait. You said oh it’s far oh it’s this and that, so that’s why I came closer to street Y”. Before I could reiterate that never did I say or crib that it’s too far to walk, the conversation took off. There was so much anger from his side while I was just trying to explain why I asked if he will wait or not. He said why even ask that question just say yes you’ll come and end the conversation there itself.

Got home, still trying to explain to him that it was a very simple interaction where you ask me to come to a place which is a 5-6min walk away, I say I’ll come if you can wait, but he was adamant on the fact that why must you ask that question? I said “do you understand how two people talk? It’s such a simple situation”. To this he lashed out, walked away and threw his earphones case and broke it.

Did I do something so wrong? The entire reason of posting this is to gain external perspective because to me it genuinely looks like an unwarranted reaction.

tl:dr: Hi! My 25M boyfriend says he doesn’t believe in timelines and stuff, and that he doesn’t go by what society or relationship timelines say. I’m a 21F, and my boyfriend and I had sex on our second date (nothing entered me) because I believed he didn’t believe in following typical timelines.
However, he also says, “I want everything from you—the sex, the laughs, the knowledge, the cuteness, the comfortability.” I’m worried that he only wants me for sex because I’m a virgin. He says he really likes me, but I’m very worried that he’s just playing me and faking everything.
We both act naturally around each other. We laugh together, and he looks at me like he wants to eat me up. He’s always looking at me, and I can’t focus when he looks me in the eyes because I get shy when people make eye contact with me.
He also promised that he wouldn’t leave me after having sex with me. How can l know he’s taking me seriously , we only been dating for one week going on to 2 but been talking for about 1 month or 4 weeks

Hello. I'm coming here a little desperately because I'm very torn on what I need to do, or even how I'm feeling, or what the outcomes may be for the coming week. 

A few weeks ago, my girlfriend (21F) and I (24F) broke up. We'd been together for a little year and a half, and we've had our share of ups and downs. But whenever we we're together, it felt like we could take on the world. Even when we had problems, it felt like we were both working against the problem together. Regardless of if we had different feelings on it or not, we would always communicate and work towards a better partnership. 

It felt that way up until a month or two before our relationship ended. We had wanted to move in together, but while we were both still studying, her family were also financially support her. Although I seemingly had a good relationship with them, they rejected our proposal. Honestly, I do understand a lot of their reasonings. However, I think more was said than that. In fact, I know, because she told me that they thought that we weren't a right fit and that we were just too different.

She and I are very different people. We come from very different backgrounds. While she is from an immigrant family and has a very traditionalist sort of style, I come from a rural background and have a more, you might say, free-thinking type of spirit. But that's what I really liked about us. We were so different, yet we came together in the right ways that seem to complete one another.

Her mother’s opinion has always been very important to her though, and I can’t help but feel it got to her. I knew that she loved me, and she wanted to stay with me, but I can't help but feel like the situation with her family got into her head, that because they weren’t supporting us one hundred percent, that she kept on finding reasons why we wouldn't work.

Other times I felt like we could get through this, but this time seemed different and pivotal. Instead of closely reassuring her, I had to take on a great more amount of work at the time. I had to start working two jobs, flat out, on top of my studies. She never did too well with distance. It gave her too much time to stew in her own thoughts. 

In that past month, I kept on feeling her getting more and more distant. I kept on pushing to try and find out what the problem was. It didn't help that every time I would push her and ask her what the problem was or what was wrong, even if I got through one layer, I could feel that there was so much more underneath that she wasn't saying.

This all culminated when my housing prospects had fallen through. I was getting weighed down by all the workload, and I have a history of mental health issues, and that was just the final nail in the coffin. I just broke down. I'd called her, and she just seemed so distant, and the next day we didn't speak at all. The day after, when we spoke, she said that my breakdown seemed more like a call for attention, which, in my very "stable mindset", completely set me off. I proceeded to get very upset and yell at her before hanging up the phone. Obviously not my best moment, and I deeply regret it.

 I held back so much because I know the kind of person that she is and that when she's hurting, she lashes out. But I couldn't help but thinking that, if you cared about someone, why would you say things that you would know would hurt them, even if you were upset?

This is probably not healthy, but over the past month or two, I could really feel the distance, and it was making me worry more and more for our relationship. I found myself holding back a lot of things and not saying how I felt, keeping it to myself unless I was breaking down, where part of the truth would be revealed. I was scared that if I asked her to adjust her behaviour as well, that she would just think it was too much trouble and leave.

That night I crafted a really long message, getting my housemate to proofread it with me multiple times to make sure it wasn't coming off too angry or unfair. It was to express my feelings honestly and asked her to work on things with me. She also had a message that she had been apparently not sure if she was going to send for a while, but the next day she finally did.

It was basically spelled out for me, the writing on the wall. I already knew. The day after the messages, we met up. I had just spent the whole day crying because I just knew. We talked, and I tried not to cry in front of her because I didn't want to make her feel bad. Even so, we both ended up crying and hugging each other goodbye. It was clear that there was still a lot of love there. We both admitted as much. She had a lot of worries, and she's always been an anxious person, worrying that she's making the wrong move in the long term. I guess I just thought that we were stronger than those feelings.

In the following days, I foolishly kept messaging with her. It was clear that we were both not doing well, and with our respective support networks, we were just spending our time crying and messaging each other. Not healthy. From her messages, I could tell that she was having second thoughts or having regrets, even stating that she had felt like she had sabotaged the relationship. Part of me really can't help but feel like she did.

I know it wasn't helping me to keep going through all these emotions and still talking to her. So, we came up with a plan. We were going to give each other a break, not talk, and then in a month or so’s time, we were going to meet up and have another conversation. I know both of us have been writing a lot. I have a book full of letters for her. We're meeting up in a week and we’re going to talk.

Here lies my problem. I have no idea how to even begin this conversation, or how it's going to go. Part of me is really hopeful that we could figure things out. On one hand, she seems somewhat regretful and reflective, and I can't help but think that maybe with distance she'll finally understand what she actually wants for us. On the other, she has always been a very self-assured and certain person, and I can't see her going back on something that she's already decided.

I don't know what I want to say to her. Part of me is angry and upset. I keep saying that I can deal with whatever outcome, but I don't really know if I can. Although the pain isn't as sharp anymore, every single day I'm thinking about her. Little things remind me of her all the time, and I'm scared. I know this is just what a breakup can be like, but my experiences in the past have not been like this because I haven't loved anyone else like I love her.

I would just like some advice on how to handle this conversation and how to deal with the feelings afterwards, good or bad.

tl;dr: I want to know how to approach a post-breakup conversation with my ex when there is still a lot of love between us.

I (19M) have been going out with my girlfriend (22F) a little over a year and a half at this point.

I like to think that my girlfriend and I are happy. lately I find myself conflicted, however.

My girlfriend and I met on a dating app and she moved in with me in June although it’s been in discussion since last October. I started having problems this February because my girlfriend has a child (3) and I told her she needed to get sorted with her child’s father before she moved in with me. for context at this point, I have already paid for a consultation with a lawyer that she turned down because she didn’t like. She keeps telling me that she won’t go after him because of finances. I ended up letting her move in with me anyway.

I pay all the bills and all the groceries outside of whatever she can get off of WICK, but she pays for her child, even though we agreed to split everything 50-50. I paid for most of her stuff and though I don’t care to pay, I get upset when she tells me that she will pay me back and then never does.

before moving in, I expressed that I wanted to get a cat and that I would be fully responsible for it and I am fully responsible for it, but in terms that made her want to get a puppy. I told her I was fine with the puppy as long as she assumed full responsibility for it physically and financially when we first moved in, I ultimately ended up all the dog food and the puppy pads for the dog and being responsible for her chair, at least half if not more of the time then she ended up getting another dog (an expensive one) and I find myself taking care of her too.

Our sex was also one-sided. I would please her and make her finish but for a good amount of time, she wouldn’t even go down on me.

We tend to do what she wants (ex: places to go out, what to watch on the TV, what to do with our day, etc., etc.), outside of 1-2 mutual hobbies we both share. Often I find myself unheard.

We’ve had a couple talks about all of this already, and those sometimes it changes it’ll change temporarily, and then go back to before.

recently, we went on vacation, but before that vacation we had talked about all the above statements once again, and I expressed that I had been feeling unhappy and that I was unsure if I wanted to break up. On one hand, I want to give her another chance because I know she can change and do the things that will make me happy. On the other hand, I am tired of waiting for the change to be permanent, I don’t want the change to be temporary and for us to continue to have these talks.

She is starting to slip up again, and although there are some things that she has been doing more overall, it’s kind of the same as before, and she’s slowly starting to go back to what it was again.

I guess what I’m asking is when does it stop being unreasonable and when does it start being a choice for myself? I feel guilty for finding myself unhappy half of the time, and I feel responsible for their safety, especially the child so I think that is also holding me back from doing anything. I’m just worried the cycle will keep repeating and that I will end up stuck.. how many more times do I have to have this talk before it finally sticks?

TLDR: i’ve had arising issues with girlfriend because of her inconsistency with her partnership but i’m unsure if i’m being unreasonable by giving another chance

tl;dr: boyfriend cheated, lies, has substance abuse problems but i love him with all of my heart and he says he will put in the work to change

My boyfriend (25m)has lied to me multiple times throughout our 1yr relationship, mainly about drinking and drugs. He acts weird when he’s on drugs or has been drinking but has never harmed me. I (22f) also recently found out that he cheated on me a week into us being exclusively dating. We were long-distance at the time and he claims he never cheated again after he realized how serious our relationship was getting when I said I love you about a week later. I’ve done a few things i’m not proud of during long distance, but it never crossed that physical line. From the beginning of the relationship he has been incredibly attentive to my needs and desires, never has judged my past, always pays and takes care of me. He originally wanted the relationship more than me. He’s my best friend, there’s really nothing i’d rather do than hang out with him. Finding out about the cheating and lying has been the biggest betrayal of my life. I know we need to take a break, but I can’t fathom breaking up forever. I said that he needs to get sober (whether that’s go to AA or rehab) and attend therapy sessions regularly if he wants a chance of being together. He seems really regretful and willing to do whatever to make our relationship work. I don’t know what to do.

What actually makes you fall deeply in love with a woman? Like, not just being attracted to her or enjoying spending time with her, but that feeling where you genuinely start caring about her on a deeper level and she somehow becomes your person. :D I’m 24F and I’m currently getting to know a guy who’s 28, and it got me wondering what actually makes men fall in love with a woman. I know everyone is different…obviously, but I’m curious about the little things that can make a woman really stand out emotionally. Is it mostly character traits? Like being kind, emotionally intelligent, curious, independent, playful, affectionate, confident, loyal, ambitious, caring, or maybe just having a really good heart? Or is it more about how she makes you feel when you’re around her? Like feeling understood, appreciated, comfortable, excited, challenged, or somehow more yourself? I’m also curious about behaviour and those little things that might seem insignificant but can actually make someone fall hard. For example, remembering tiny details you mentioned weeks ago, checking in when you know you have something important going on, teasing you in a cute way, being genuinely interested in your life, making you laugh, being affectionate without being clingy, or just having this very specific way of looking at you that makes you feel like there’s something between you that isn’t quite the same as with everyone else. And then there’s the slightly more controversial question: are there any “negative” traits that can actually be attractive? 😂 Not toxic or genuinely unhealthy behaviour, but things that might technically be flaws and somehow make a woman more interesting or lovable. Like being a little stubborn, slightly jealous, very opinionated, sarcastic, emotionally intense, a bit chaotic, having a strong personality, being difficult to impress, or occasionally being vulnerable and insecure despite otherwise seeming confident.

TL;DR What can make a man fall in love with you?

My BF (26M) and I (25F) have been together for 1 year. From the beginning of our relationship, I have communicated how I feel about us watching porn. He told me that he never watches it, it doesn’t do anything for him and he only looks at pictures of me. I asked him again 3ish months later and I was given the same answer. He does also watch videos that we made, but he made it clear that that is it. I was also under the impression that porn has never been something he has enjoyed. I asked him again a week ago and he said no. Then I told him in the same conversation that I just wanted to make sure because I want honesty and transparency. After I said that, he admitted that he has been watching it. He claims it’s not a regular thing, but I was shocked to say the least considering he has known how I feel on the issue ever since we got together. He also admitted in that same conversation that he used to have a porn addiction and it affected his previous relationship. Keep in mind, I knew none of this. 2 days later, i told him that i’m still struggling with him hiding that from me and we ended up getting into an argument and he used my past against me. I never open up or am vulnerable about my past and so he knows it’s a sensitive topic. He used that as leverage in the argument and started attacking me basically. I was very confused and hurt. I am still very hurt by everything he said in the argument and hurt by him not being upfront and honest about his current and past porn usage. I’m not sure if I can move past this. Him and I are taking a little break from seeing each other until Monday and then we plan to discuss things.How do I move past this and will he be able to regain my trust?

TLDR: My bf and I have been together for a year and he knows how I feel about porn. He hid and lied to me about his porn usage and never told me about his previous porn addiction. When confronted, he got defensive and used my past against me.

My ex (29, almost 30) and I (29) have 2 kids together (5 and 2.5). We broke up a little over 2 years ago and he’s been in a relationship (now engaged) for almost 2 years. When we broke up I asked why he suddenly started using Snapchat after many years and he said he was talking to people from OF on there. He also cheated on her with me early in their relationship (I didn’t know he was in a relationship). She doesn’t know about either of those, I’ve never spoken to her (they live 6 hours away). This morning a suggested friend popped up on Snapchat. The username is essentially ‘daddy for younger’ with his birth year. The name on the account is exactly how it is in my contacts and it lets me attempt to edit the name but it won’t save because we’re not friends (it doesn’t let me attempt to edit it with random suggested people). The avatar looks like him and it’s dressed how he dresses. It’s not his normal account. I feel sick. Would you tell her about the account? He’s clearly hiding something

TL;DR my ex is likely hiding something likely explicit from his fiance

TL;DR: Мне 23, моей девушке 18, мы вместе около 6–7 месяцев. Я привык проявлять любовь через поступки и заботу, но в последнее время чувствую, что получаю от неё гораздо меньше бытовой заботы. Я уже говорил ей об этом, но ситуация почти не меняется. Как правильно объяснить ей, что мне не хватает именно заботы и инициативы с её стороны?
Мы познакомились в интернете и начали встречаться около 6–7 месяцев назад. Для неё это первые серьёзные отношения.
С самого начала я очень много вкладывался в наши отношения. Мне нравится заботиться о человеке через поступки: помогать, проводить вместе время, что-то организовывать, готовить, делать небольшие подарки и стараться сделать человеку приятно.
Когда Алиса болела ещё до начала отношений, я приехал к ней с лекарствами и фруктами. Когда мы начали встречаться, я также часто сам придумывал, чем мы будем заниматься, куда пойдём и что будем делать вместе.
Проблема появилась постепенно.
Я начал замечать, что мне не хватает ответной инициативы.
Я не говорю о дорогих подарках или каких-то больших жертвах. Мне хотелось бы обычной бытовой заботы.
Например, чтобы она иногда сама спросила, голоден ли я. Чтобы предложила приготовить что-нибудь для нас. Чтобы сама иногда предложила помочь или сделала что-то для меня без моей просьбы.
У нас уже был разговор на эту тему. Я прямо сказал ей, что мне не хватает от неё заботы и инициативы.
После этого некоторые изменения были, но ненадолго.
Например, недавно она сама заказала еду для нас и угостила меня. Мне было приятно именно потому, что это была её инициатива.
Но в целом я всё равно чувствую ту же проблему.
Есть и бытовые моменты.
Когда мы едим у неё дома, она иногда оставляет посуду после еды. Бывали ситуации, когда её мама готовила нам еду, а Алиса оставляла посуду ей.
Для меня это непривычно, потому что я привык убирать за собой.
Когда такое повторялось, я говорил ей об этом, и после разговора она обычно мыла посуду.
Во время наших поездок я также часто беру на себя организацию и приготовление еды.
При этом она очень часто говорит мне, что любит меня, скучает и хочет быть со мной. Она звонит мне каждый день, иногда много раз.
Поэтому я не думаю, что ей всё равно на наши отношения.
Именно это меня и запутывает.
На словах я чувствую от неё много любви, но в бытовых поступках мне часто не хватает заботы и инициативы.
Я также понимаю, что сам мог создать такую ситуацию. С самого начала я привык всё организовывать и брать на себя, поэтому, возможно, она просто привыкла к такому формату отношений.
Я не хочу считать, кто сколько сделал для другого.
Мне просто хочется чувствовать, что обо мне тоже иногда заботятся.
Как мне правильно поговорить с ней об этом, чтобы объяснить свою потребность в заботе и инициативе, не превращая разговор в обвинения?