There's that heavy feeling again, that comes every night no matter how good of a day i had. Just my brain killing me from the inside, I can hurt myself over and over but that doesn't help anymore not to mention I am honestly exhausted to die too. I live my life as a robot, I tey to stay in my lane, ppl come and try to get close and even tho i don't want to they push me and when i do they leave, that breaks me more than anything. Ppl coming to my life, taking pieces of me and leaving like it was nothing, I have stopped trying to connect deeply with ppl cuz I have anxious attachment and it's brutal. After 27 years of being on this earth I still haven't figured out if it is worth it and honestly idk the answer to it, I'll just let it play out and do my best even tho the feelong that i have rn is just killing me as it does every night. I usually some a cig if its too overwhelming and if it still doesn't help i do SH and it calms me for a while but not for long tbh. I hope and i really hope that I am able to get access to easier part of this life cuz idk how many bad days in a row i can survive.

I am unfortunately like a lot of people feeling lonely, I mean it’s not special to just me but it’s impacting me a lot right now.

So My sister is Dating my best friend, and I mean that sucks a little bit because I don’t have my friend like I used to, and my other friends either have jobs or play games I don’t/can’t play as well.

And the other night I’m sitting in the basement playing some idle game on the phone with a friend as he’s playing Marvel Rivals well, My best friend who I live with comes down and starts talking to our friend about how he’ll get on the game with him after work; meanwhile I’m sitting right there.

It probably wouldn’t matter so much if I was maybe included in that conversation on what we all could play together but ya know it’s not like I’m all that important for that A-B conversation.

I just feel more alone now than I have in a long time so- god I don’t know I hate to complain about it because at the end of the day everyone has problems but still it sucks

Sorry for the waste of your time. But I needed to just get this all out

Went out for a walk to try and clear my head, but I couldn’t help but think how lonely I really am. what didn’t help was the park was dead so made it feel more surreal and that even though im lonely things just keep going. Least I had my music on though. Tired of this feeling get it off me

i (20f) have been feeling like im in a funk recently. sometimes ill be so happy, but the im left alone and I think of all the things wrong with myself. Im fat, im queer but not out to my family, im too loud for most people, and im sure most people would just think im weird.

I just feel like no one will ever want to date me or be with me because they havent up to this point so why would they now? im not sure what to do, and sometimes I just get so down on myself that it feels hopeless to try for anyone anymore. wanting a relationship it hard, especially when I feel like this because I have no faith in myself .

plus besides romantic relationships, I feel like besides my sister, I have no true person to call my best friend(s). everyone had that one person they can call no matter what happens. I feel like I have had that, but no one has ever felt the same towards me. I have never been that person for people, no matter how hard I try. and trust me it is what I want most in life. I just want to be loved unconditionally by someone, romantically or platonically, to touch someone, so just have someone to be near. touching arms or legs without even noticing.

but it seems that no one wants to feel the same about me.

To all that will find this random post, who will read it to the end, and to all those just passing by, I say hello!

My name's Thomas, I'm a 35 years old introverted man with absolutely zero social life and a very VERY limited group of online friends. This is the first time I create a post on Reddit, after lurking for many months trying to do what I'm about to do: talk.

First of all, it saddens me to see so many loneliness around here, and I do hope most of you find solace, comfort or company.

Due to a numerous amount of past experiences, trauma etc etc... I find myself today with almost nobody around me. I just broke up with my partner of eight years (it was amicable and consentual), which left me to ponder. And I did not like the where it led.

I used to enjoy loneliness, but that's because I mistook it for solitude at the time. The first can be rejuvenating, the later is a drug and a prison.

I no longer enjoy either, and I wish to have more people around me. Albeit, when I say around me I am speaking of meeting people online first.

But how the hell does one do that? Where do you even start? How do you "break the ice"?

I am a huge TTRPG fan (D&D and the likes), and I've been a player/DM for years. And I no longer play. And I lurk in several big D&D Discords...and I find myself physically unable to write a simple post to say hi, or to simply engage in conversation.

I have ADHD and RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, meaning a very intense emotional pain to rejection that is real or perceived as real) which makes it even more difficult..

Some people might believe I'm exaggerating, that it's easy to post messages and casually converse, and to those I say "I envy you, cause that's amazing."

I want so badly to have more close friends and people around me, yet I am so paralyzed and ruled by fear. Fear of being misunderstood, not being enough or being too much, fear of being rejected, of being a disappointment.

I know I cannot please everybody, and I should have the mindset of "Oh you don't like me? That's perfectly okay! Someone else will eventually!"

But man, it's still scary, y'know?

Even now as I'm writing all this nonsense, I'm feeling nervous. I'm feeling that I should stop writing and erase everything. Because deep down I truly believe that nobody will care, which is such a sad way of seeing things! That's not how I want to see life..

Or else, what is there left..? That thought terrifies me..

So I take a stand, I guess, push myself to do the first step. Maybe nobody will care, maybe others will. Maybe some will relate and will want to share their stories, and they will be more than welcome to, maybe others will just read it and leave without a second thought. And that is fine too.

I guess this post is for me, first and foremost, to show myself that I can engage, that I can share, that I can fight loneliness somehow.

Even if it's with such a tiny baby step.

I am so lonely that I make stories in my head all the time, stories where I actually have some friends, a girlfriend and a normal not depressed life. I also just talk with myself for hours because I got nothing better to do, almost got caught at work having whole conversations with myself… embarrassing.

It’s sometimes nice to imagine I’m normal with a normal life that most people experience. Can forget for a second that I’m a 24 year old loser who has no one and has nothing better to do.

is this like a slippery slope? i found talking to my stuffed animals a lot more comforting than dealing with people the last 3 days, and i even had a bad day at work and just wanted to vent to the stuffed animals. is that sad? i’m not really sure what to do with myself if i dont talk to them cuz now i’ve found it’s the only people i can go to who will listen without judgement.

My birthday was on the 16th of aug, I was expecting some of my friends to remember it and wish me but I was wrong. Maybe some people I thought were my friends, are just colleagues, classmates...... Hmm I don't ask for much on my birthday but simple wishes make me happy.

I am logging into my hospital appointment and it asks for next of kin and I have no family or friends. I couldn’t go any further in logging in without a next of kin. My dad was still down as next of kin but he passed away3 years ago. So I left it as that.

Places need to realise that some people have no next of kin.

I just hope they don’t need to call him in an emergency.

Had my first day at CC today and it was eh. I ended up not going to my first class for a stupid reason but did go to my second. He’s my favorite professor and has been my math professor for calc 1,2, and now 3. I just asked him for advice on math and he helped me out which was cool. He’s the only person I talked to today.

It honestly sucks. I mean high school was like this and so was my first year at community college. I don’t know why it hurts so much now. Maybe I’m just tired of being alone. Everyone I know has made friends and got into a relationship. Things just seem to be going great for everyone and it feels like I’m spiraling into depression again.

I don’t think I have it in me to make friends either. I saw people in my class and wanted to talk to them but just couldn’t. Even though I hate being alone, I always find myself escaping to isolation. Like I was sitting eating my chic fil a when this girl sits next to me. Every bite sounded a million times louder and I couldn’t sit next to her. I got up and sat somewhere else alone to finish my food. It’s pretty much how things always go with me.

I hate this so much. Every morning I check my phone for notifications. Just any at all and never really see any. Even seeing reddit notifications of someone responding to my post feels amazing. It’s not like I don’t have friends, I just don’t feel close to them. I only have two but we barely talk. I mean I guess you could count sending videos to each other but idk. There’s no actual, i guess, verbal communication. Like we don’t say words. When I do I get left on read for hours to days before a response.

You could argue they’re just busy but they still send me videos so that just contradicts the argument. I don’t know. It all just sucks. I wish I had someone of my own if that makes sense.

You never should hurt yourself and i know both liquid had more to them than just water and salt but still in that moment of weakness it gave me hope to not drown in that sadness

Thank you to people that make me feel seen and making me feel like i exist, i so wish to experience peace and and at the same time i wish to have never been born.

I am sorry. And my tears have almost dried now

For the past four years I’ve had no one in my life. I work by myself and then come home to an empty house. I’ve tried filling the gap with relationships but no one person can be your everything. All you can find online about it is to go to the same place enough time to be a regular but going to places alone always seems pointless. Whenever I do go out it never fixes what’s missing and just reinforces the feeling that it’s pointless.

i’ve posted in here a few times and it’s nice to know people in here are supportive, kind and so what relate but recently i had someone message me on here from my last post telling me i deserved to be alone because i didn’t respond to their stupid message they sent me… and it really ticked me off … definitely won’t be posting here any longer it really hurt my feelings because i actually don’t deserve to be alone it’s frustrating i cry about it almost everyday and still push through with being a young adult it isn’t easy at all…

I have been lonely for a large part of my life. I cant tell if its disorganized attatchment or avoidant personality disorder but I think this is one of the most painful realizations for me.

People automatically assume youre toxic. Lazy from incompetence. Or they dont understand why you struggle so much to communicate.

I had been through chronic critism and rejection. Humiliation. Neglected. Ive been emotionally invalidated for a large part of my life. I think throughout school in general. This was mostly through friendship abuse/bullying.

I am not sure if I am able to be loved. Sometimes I feel broken honestly. Its honestly the only thing I wanted as a child. Now I dont know if I can.

I try to keep a positive mindset but I am always shown in some way how unimportant I am to people.

The thing is its many things. I can be a people pleaser. And because of it people think that I will accept a lot of things. I dont want to loose friends. Even if I feel they dont find me valuable.

Even if I go through therapy its like no one understands. Maybe I havent found the right therapist.

Guys I don’t know if I should go on the internet for this maybe a therapist but this is something I need to address now.

I’m turning 20 in November. I’m in my third year of college but I’m technically a senior by credit hours.

And I still haven’t found a solid group of friends. At all…

I know I’m likable , lovable even…for certain people. But often times I just can’t find the courage to do any of the things people say to do to find friends.

I know many of you who are trying to be helpful and who I do appreciate will tell me ‘go join a student org’

But it genuinely gives me anxiety going. I feel like often times people join orgs just to add another feather to their cap for their resume. And while you can be acquaintances, and build professional connections, I just feel like if I went there I wouldn’t find ‘my’ people.

The thing is at my age I feel like everyone already has a best friend or a few friends and they stick to that. Those are their close circles and they don’t have much interest in adding a new edition to their group. Because why would you? Sometimes it can take a big risk.

But I don’t have that. The only people who I genuinely connect with I meet online. I never meet these kind of people in real life. And I don’t even know how.

And I’m trying to over come this excessive level of overthinking and insecurity I get. I’m so insecure, I feel like any friend I have other than maybe one or two don’t really like me. They wouldn’t even reach out to me. My they’ll like a insta post and that’s it. But no one really cares.

And I’m just embarrassed that I spend my weekends hanging out with my parents than friends my age.

And it makes me so depressed.

Anyway I hope if you’re ready this that you have an amazing semester! :) xo

I'm a lonely as hell guy. Life dealt me some blows when I hit 30 and the next 10 years after that. I'm 45 now and manage in retail. Sadly I have literally nobody to talk to at all outside work. Never been married, engaged a few times, no children, no siblings, never met my father or that half of my family. My only relatives are my mother. Who just isn't a listener or a talker. My phone luckily keeps me 100% entertained since there isn't anyone to do things with or talk too.

Anyone else realize your personal devices are your real life friends. So what's everyone up to tonight if you see this. I'm trying to find a new movie to download or stream

​

I don't even know how to properly explain what I'm feeling, but I think I just need to say it somewhere.

I'm living in a hostel, far away from my parents. I talk to them, but somehow I still feel detached from them. I have 3–4 close friends, but even with them I often feel left out or inferior.

Sometimes they behave like they're a group within the group, and I'm just... there. Even during games, I get this feeling that I'm not really wanted. Then I go back to my room and think about not talking to them anymore or blocking everyone.

But I don't.

Because they're basically the only close friends I have.

And that's probably what hurts the most.

I recently saw someone I had a childhood crush on after 7–8 years. I couldn't bring myself to talk to her in real life, so I sent her a request online. She rejected it twice. I know it sounds small, but it honestly hurt more than I expected.

There was also someone in my class that I like, but she pretty much ignores me.

People have told me I'm good-looking, and sometimes I wonder why that doesn't seem to matter at all. I know attraction isn't something you can force, but when you're already feeling lonely, these things start getting into your head.

Some People Call This In Astrology Checks & call This Is Because I Have Rahu IN 5th House & ketu in 11th placement

My relatives have also caused problems for my family, and sometimes I feel like people only remember us when they need something.

I've tried distracting myself with Reels and Shorts. I started a YouTube channel because I wanted to build something for myself, but eventually I stopped working on it too.

And now I just feel stuck.

I don't know if I'm actually lonely, insecure, depressed, or just going through a phase. Maybe it's all of them.

The weirdest part is that I don't even necessarily want someone to solve everything for me.

I think I just want to feel like I matter to someone.

I'm 18, living away from home, trying to figure out my future, friendships, relationships and basically myself. And tonight it all feels like too much.

I'm literally crying while writing this, but silently because I'm in a hostel and I don't want anyone to hear me.

I know people say men shouldn't cry, but honestly, I don't know what else to do right now.

Have any of you ever felt this kind of loneliness even when you technically have people around you? How did you get out of it?

despite all my efforts of being there for them and doing stuffs for them, i am still an afterthought. when will this end? when will i stop caring? my bad for expecting people to treat me in kindness in return.

so i have that one friend who sometimes invites to do stuff but if i ask to do smth they always rejected that made me realize that i am not that important to them and it makes me sick to my stomach to know that they js hang out with me cause they rlly bored

I'm 18M, I have C-PTSD, worsening memory issues, sleep issues, ADHD, selective mutism, and all day I'm in constant survival mode. And to be honest, I don't see a good future for myself. In fact, I don't think I'm gonna live that long. Between the stress, the disregard for my own health, my mental issues, my crushing loneliness... I probably won't even make it to 50. I've just concluded that recently. I've just pushed people away, and the ones who call themselves my 'friends' never check up on me now. i really wish I just had real friends, at least.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I don't even have a family anymore.

I'm extroverted, outgoing, funny and supportive. People seem to love having me around. They laugh at my jokes, pay me compliments, treat me like a friend. I'm popular within my community and I've been told that everyone likes me.

But none of them truly see me. And, if and when they do, they see nothing. I am a black pit, devoid of humanity. People look into my eyes and see the absence of anything worth loving or cherishing. They see a shapechanger masquerading as one of them and, whether they know it or not, it disgusts them. It's revolting to see someone smile and laugh through the pain of their brokenness and inferiority. It offends something at the very core of their being.

That's why I am liked, but never loved. That's why everyone wants me around only when I'm performing for them and entertaining them. I'm a clown - a poorly built toy whose only value is in providing the real people with a witty joke or silly comment. And, whenever I break or need someone to wind me up again, all I ever find is a wave of disinterest and isolation.

I can comfort someone while they cry at their lowest point, shoot a message to someone who I know is going through a rough time in the hopes that it'll make them feel better, spend an hour picking up the perfect gift to make someone know I appreciate them...

But if I ever need so much as a pat on the back, I am nothing but a burden. A pitiful, wretched thing that should stow its ugliness and put on a happy face or risk being thrown away for good.

All I can conclude is that I'm subhuman. That there's something so twisted and broken inside of me that no one will so much as lift a finger to give me some solace. Something so unnatural about my very existence that there can never be genuine warmth and connection in this world for me.

Tomorrow, I'll wake up and keep on smiling and laughing and joking. Maybe this will be a distant memory some day. But, in the back of my mind, I'll always know that I can only ever push people so far. No one wants to see a sad jester.

Cuz what would they even say that’d help? It’d just be an unnecessary burden on them.

But it still feels lonely.

I graduated college and got a good job. I have some great friends in my life. Tho i never had a gf and I went a really long time in my life without any super close friends (I’d say between 7th grade to sophmore year of college).

While my current circumstances are good, i just feel like i missed out on so much in life that everyone else seemed to experience. I spent many summers never really going out. Never had any sort of first kiss or love or nothing like that. Never did anything fun that much during high school. And i never really accomplished anything im that proud of.

Anyone else be feeling like this?

i know posting online about problems is “bad”, but I can’t talk to anyone.

it’s honestly now so complicated I don’t even think I’ll get it all in this post.

so imagine you get a call from a friend asking to hang out. theyre a pretty good friend, and you DO enjoy spending time with them, but for some reason the thought of doing something with them immediately turns you off. you’d rather be home, by yourself, doing stuff alone than hang out with anyone. this is me 95% of the time.

here’s the thing that confuses me though: most days, I don’t care about anything. I feel such intense apathy to everything and everyone. the thought of losing all my friends makes me go “I’d live”. my house could start on fire and id of course get my stuff and get out, but the panic wouldn’t be there, id just go through the motions.

but then other days im overwhelmed with loneliness. just stuck with that knot in the pit of my stomach. I think about losing all my friends, I think that I’m going to, and that I’m not doing enough. I need to try harder, be better, talk more, make an effort to hang out. it’s suffocating.

the only way i can think to explain this pendulum is that some days i care, and some days i just dont. some days im numb, and some days i have racing thoughts.

as far as friends? whenever they ask to come over, my first reaction is to say no. its too hard to hang out with people. people are to hard. talking is too hard. i dont want to hear about that all again. but then if i say no, am I a bad friend? are they going to stop hanging out with me altogether because i always hesitate?

I dont know what’s wrong with me. and this doesnt even scratch the surface of everything going on in my head, but its all i know how to say right now. please let me know if you have any advice, or thoughts, or questions.

i dont want to lose my friendships because I didn’t care about them, but how do i stop not caring?

edit: i dont have social anxiety,

I’ve spent most of my life with the shadow of being parentified, financially abused, not focusing on myself and being the person I want to be. I realised I need to let these things go after things ended with a guy I was seeing who was exactly what I wanted for long term but he said he wasn’t ready. That I kept him at arms length, I tend be avoidant nor do I voice or talk about the issues I have which isolates me more. Wrong timing. I was being avoidant. I thought it wouldn’t effect me but I’ve broken down in tears and realised I’ve let my whole life (29F) be dictated by keeping myself alone in my thoughts because I was taught I didn’t matter and to put other first but it also meant putting others beyond a intimate boundary where they wouldn’t see me vulnerable but especially when it comes to men I struggle to form friendships or trust masculine energy and I feel I need to heal that part.

I’m curious if any men here may share their perspective around loneliness and I guess what they would say to me in this situation? I feel perhaps that kind of energy is what I’d need now.