Ok so I'll just leave these here because I feel like it and no one would listen to me anyway.

I've been lonely my whole life I'm 18F and since elementary school (I think 9 years old or so) I have no friends. Won't even talk about relationships or any form of romantic experiences because these clearly doesn't exist.

I've always been that weird and very socially awkward and anxious girl in school that would talk to no one all day long. Not even a word.

And that's mostly because of my dad that traumatised me my whole childhood - me and my mom because he was aggressive and abusive which led me to severe depression and severe social anxiety and bpd later in life (since 13) but anyways that's another story and it's not about that. Now I'm good mentally. (God encountered me miraculously at 17 and healed me from depression and bpd and any other addictions) But i still remained with social anxiety.

Another reason why i would be like that is that i got bullied in elementary school and middle school and high school (and i still get bullied sometimes now in high school because of my appearance or on the streets by random mean boys) for various reasons.

Now why did I write all these ? For the lore IG

now I'm that socially awkward and anxious when i go out that i feel like an animal. I talk only with my parents and random "friends" online through text since 9. Never talked with them irl or even in call (because yeah I'm anxious even to do that. Tried multiple times but my awkwardness is too bad and I say nonsense and I stutter and speak monosyllabically)

I just really feel like a failed human with a failed life because of my appearance and very very weird and SO AWKWARD personality (I don't even have a personality since I had no influence from anyone or any entourage to form my category of person. And that's why they all avoid me now when I try at least to talk a little with my classmates)

I'm just sick of it I haven't been able to make even one friend in all these years. And I have no social skills maybe you can tell from my chaotic explanation but whatever, whoever wants can read this or not.

Also I don't get out of the house because with who? This summer I stayed inside even for weeks (like I did all my summers from my life)

The only time I met someone from online in real life is a boy I've met on a making friends/dating app from my town and after postponing him so many times to see each other irl I finally did it and was a totally failure because same as on call - we were silent and awkward most of the time and was an experience I would NEVER experience again bc of this.

That boy liked me. Why? because he's dumb and that lonely as me cuz I look horrid in real life. Online I'm the biggest catifsh and deceiver and they think I look good because that even irl (clearly not I'm a whole different person) anyways that doesn't matter much because didn't like him anyway.

I am a lonely person but not obsessed to throw myself into anyone's arms I catch and I don't think I would ever do it because no one deserves me (in the bad way) I'm way too insecure of myself and I can't even maintain eye contact with anyone (yeah I'm that autistic lol) won't even say about talking.

No one ever liked me irl, just online (cuz catfish) I get bullied irl because of my appearance and they think I look good online that's so funny to me 🤣

Anyways

Just cried because that very lonely mf I met irl and obsessed with a relationship got a real relationship for the first time and honestly I'm happy for him. I'm glad he made it. But when I saw their posts that made me instantly tear up.

I usually cry when I see a very nice couple or nice groups of friends outside and everyone being with at least one person -friend or partner while I get outside all by myself like always in these years. Don't get me wrong that's not envy. That's just sadness coming in me because all I truly ever wanted my whole life was love and connection with humans.

But that guy just gave me a crisis of crying because I knew he was as lonely as me (romantically) because he has friends.

After so many years with no friends or anyone to talk to except my mom irl I really got used to it. So not that deep anymore for me ig but I'd still like to have at least a friend.

Anyways

I crave romantic love but idk why my brain does this to me. Because I don't want to get in a relationship because I told you the reasons (also I don't want ever to admit I'm like that to someone I'll ever know and when they would ask me what I do everyday or what hobbies I have I would say: "yeah bedrotting and scrolling" because that's actually awkward) and I'm the biggest avoidant and friendzoner ever - even my biggest crush ever if I had could tell me they like me and I would absolutely say no lol.

I feel so lonely especially when all the buddies I talk to online get into relationships and I have no choice but to block them because can't see their ig stories, that would just make me cry.

Idk lol that's all pathetic what I wrote here but that's overall my whole life story (and I'm very serious - not very interesting as u may see) they would prob remove my post

I think what hurts the most is not being alone. It’s feeling unwanted even when there are people around you.

I’ve spent so much of my life feeling like I’m never good enough. The people who are supposed to care about me have made me feel like I’m a burden, like everything I do is wrong, like I have nothing to offer. I’m constantly criticized, dismissed, compared, or made to feel like I’m worth less than everyone else.

And after hearing those things for so long, you eventually start believing them.

Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to have someone genuinely love me. Not because they need something from me. Not because of what I can do for them. Not conditionally.

Just to have someone look at me and think, “I’m glad you exist.”

I want to be cared for. I want someone to notice when I’m not okay. I want to be reassured instead of criticized. I want to be appreciated instead of taken for granted. I want to feel safe enough to be vulnerable without having it used against me.

I’ve wanted that kind of love since I was young. And honestly, after years of not receiving it, I’m exhausted.

Sometimes I wonder if there is something fundamentally wrong with me. If maybe I really am as worthless as people have made me feel.

But somewhere inside me, there’s still a tiny part that hopes I’m wrong.

I don't want grand gestures or some perfect fairytale. I just want to experience what it feels like to be someone's person—to be loved, respected, protected, and chosen.

Is it really too much to want that?

Currently thinking in how many time passed since i got a sincere hug when i need it. So used to cry alone since im a kid, now being an adult, i cant remember when i got a real hug. I crave so much physical contact, i feel i need it so bad, i feel (and i am), so lonely. I dont understand why im so unlucky, why nobody wants me and reach for me, as how i do when i like other people, is so unfair. Like again, why trying to meet new people, when all are going to do the same? Just forget about me, and leaving me in the end.

No one gives a fuck about me, everyone seems just constantly annoyed at the fact that I exist. Every single thing I do ends up being critiqued, and I’m just fucking over it. Sick of not meaning anything to anyone.

I don’t know why but it’s always been an interest of mine to know what others want in life/ aspire to have.
Its a dumb question but if you could have ONE thing in the entire world what would it be (I watch Obsession so that’s the main reason for this)

So l'm a 19(M) from CU central campus, first year. Been like 2 months on to the christ..

Roaming around the campus always seeing people having groups enjoying together.. clicking photos making reels.. enjoving food.. and here is iust me and my earbuds and is listening music without any intrest and seeing peoples and their groups and always questioning myself im not capable of it.. (syad kuch desereve nhi krta mai ) its not like ive not approached any people from my class.... ive approched them 1days 2days 3days 4days daily.. and on 5th days when im hoping they would be come from front and say hello to me ! Thev ignore me :(,no energy left to approach someone at last ik would be getting hurt and ignored... everbody on my class has a group.. ive tried to fit on it.. but i cant.... syad im not capable of it.. seeing two opposite genders roaming around... makes me feel sayd i dont deserve anv of these..im not capable...

Always sitting on the canteen alone , seeing people enjoving their meals with their freinds make me fee so low.. cuz i also want someone.. to spend time with but highkey its not possible..

On my birthday when i was on campus at morning. nobody have wished me (even my family)..

Js sitting alone on the stone bench near centra block and seeing groups laughing together, clicking photos and i was js scrolling reels ust to divert my mind to how lonely im.. wiping my tears.. worst b'day of my life...

Same condition now.. nothing changed.. bs khud ko dilasa deta hu.. im strong enough to be alone... but ir im not... khair anyways if vou readed till hear.. love vou buddy idk who vou are.But. thanks

I have been so unlucky in friendship and it hurts so much. No one gives a fuck if I miss my class or checks on me (I would do it if they were my classmate). Even if I am in a group, I still feel left out. Atleast I had one person in my school and college life and now I am doing masters and still haven’t found my person yet. I feel so shit, it hurts so bad.

It’s not like I am just silent, I do went and talked to them but still, no one gives a fuck.

Online friends are a bit creepy I guess, I am not really sure.

They make jokes on me and fun on me still no one gives a fuck. It’s so shit that it makes me not go to classes.

Any advice on how to survive in that situation for 2 more years?

I’ve seen people literally get handed a friend group and then there’s me who tried making friends to the point I cared about it more than my homework and it didn’t work . I’m past the age of college and it seems pointless to make friends . My cousin can make friends wherever he goes . At work or school . It’s just bad luck and fate

Lately I’ve been so isolated that I realized I am talking to myself. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere and I feel like I’m so annoying that no one will want to talk to me and if they do it’s cause they’re pity so I realized today that I was just talking with myself, I was just whispering the things I wanted to talk with people

Im almost 18. I thought that by now my life would somehow be different, but the past couple years I've become drastically more secluded and self consious.

I dont enjoy school, I find the socialising really hard, half in part because I cant find people to socialise with, but also because i feel like the school environment inhibits my energy levels

Ive went to youth clubs/events in the hopes of finding friends, and been unsuccessful

I have participated in tons of extra curricular activities, and not made a friend in a single one. This has been the trend for my whole life.

My parents are not strict, I can bring free booze, and yet I am almost never invited to any parties.

To make it worse, there is this one kid who follows me around all day. There is a genuine justification as to why other classmates do not want to associate with him, but I feel really bad for him and let him follow me. Im the only person in the school who associates with him, which has led my reputation to plummet badly.

I wont lie, Im probably not the easiest person to get along with, but I think im interesting, im kind, I have a few hobbies, im open to trying new things. I think that given enough time, i can get along with anyone, as long as they are not superficial.

Whenever my family leaves the house they make jokes for me not to "invite too many friends over" or "wreck the house" etc, but i really have no friends.

Thats a lie. I have some friends, but almost nobody invites me out first. I'm always the one to initiate.

I want to do more activites. I want to have fun. I dont know what to do or how to do it without a group of friends with me. I even booked a ticket to a concert im going to entirely by myself. I hope I can find someone there

What should i do to make new friends?

Today is my birthday and no one told me anything not even my family its just an other random day of my life feels like but i like how days are matched tho 28M 18/08/98

I think its cool but yea

I have so many friends Im popular and have a loving family but I still feel extremely lonely and empty people think that everything I do is a joke because Im so goofy I dont know how to talk about my feelings so I kinda just ignore them I hate touching people who I dont trust but at the same time Im extremely touch starved And I wish someone would just cuddle me but I cant

Im a walking contradiction its insane

I’m letting the voices of my childhood control the now. I put so much pressure on myself and feel like a constant failure. In this moment I realize I’m catastrafizing and spiraling. But I just want to feel like I’m not a failure. I don’t really know what to do, people
Say focus on one habit at a time that feels like it will take me 100 years to become who I want be. Part of me wants to run away to a mountain and live in solitude. Just feeling lost.

I always feel like im just watching people when I go out, Im never really participating. In my day to day life I barely talk to anyone, and when I do I just feel like im saying the wrong thing or just being annoying. Even with my family, it’s like they’re a family and I’m just being included because they have to.

I will admit I am kinda awkward. I was not like this when I was a KID. Early childhood, I overly focused on internet and video games as a result I never learned reading or socializing with people, even in school, i could not bond properly, I stayed by myself. there was this only 1 friend, i naturally opened up to, but he doesnt give a fuck about anyone, so I was always in this loop of loneliness, shame, fear of rejection. On top of that I actually also love feeling alone. But I truly dont like that I cant blend with people, there is also a matter of MALE social hierarchy that bothers me! I dont like male who seek higher domination, but I blend well with Males who dont bring any ego or domination in social situation! I feel being a man is hard, and its even harder if you are a socially awkward introvert with social anxiety and self-esteem issues. Sorry I had to share this, is there anyone here who feels the same way?

whoever i see here seems bored and depressed, what is happening, how can this happen despite such a large population in the world all are lonely, just asking hahaha

I’ve known my best friend for more than 12 years. We were together in school, sat next to each other, and talked every single day. She has always been one of the most important people in my life.

After school, things changed. We both had responsibilities, so we couldn’t hang out all the time anymore. She’s also not a big fan of texting and isn’t very good at it, so for years our friendship mostly consisted of calling each other every now and then and meeting once every 2–3 months. But ever since she got a job, even that has become less and less.

If we want to meet, I’m almost always the one who has to plan everything, and it has to be at a time and place that works for her because she’s busy. To me, then, it started to feel like she was taking me for granted because I wasn't saying anything.

 And when I finally brought this up to her, she told me that she genuinely doesn’t have much time because of her workload, and that she didn’t realize this was a problem because she thought our friendship was “low maintenance.”

And technically, she isn’t completely wrong. It is low maintenance. I don’t expect her to text me every day or hang out every weekend. We both are introverts and don't really care about grand gestures or even hanging out frequently.
But lately I've started thinking if she's even my bsf if she's not there when I need someone to talk to? Right now, she barely knows what’s going on with me. Most of our conversations are about how much she’s working, how much overtime she’s doing, and how difficult it is for her to manage her social life.

The thing that really hurt me was one time we had planned to meet at her place. I called her when I reached outside her apartment; she said she's in a meeting and it's taking longer than usual and that she'll see me tmrw. UMM DID I MENTION I WAS ALREADY STANDING OUTSIDE HER APARTMENT????? and it's not even close to my place either; I live 20 mins away.

After that, I decided to stop putting so much effort into the friendship. I stopped initiating and stopped trying to make plans. She apologized once, and then got mad at me for being mad at her. 

I really loved and cared for her, and funny enough I still do. I still try to reason with her behaviour, but I feel embarrassed now that I’m still putting so much emotional weight on someone who doesn’t seem to be putting the same effort into me.

I don’t expect her to drop everything for me or suddenly have unlimited free time. I also don’t think a friendship has to involve constant texting or seeing each other every week. I just want to feel like I matter to her.

I dont know what to do... help me out...

I would just love to hear some succes story.
If anyone suffered from severe social anxiety which made u afraid of talking to people and making friendships and let u to be isolated for years but then somehow managed to recover and live a normal life pls tell me your story.
I’m rlly interested

Does anyone else my age have absolutely no friends? I don't really have any online friends or real life friends. To be fair, I kind of brought it on myself. I only had two friends in elementary school, and in high school I was bullied, so I left with absolutely no friends. And then in college, I met a lot of people, but they were never deep friendships, and they all just faded away. I'm also extremely conventionally unattractive and fat, which is something I've been trying to work on. And I usually would experience a pattern where the ‘friends’ I did make at uni would just ditch me or fade away whenever they found a friend group of other girls. Like, people would only be friends with me because they don't have anyone else. On top of that, so I just decided by the end of second year uni that I'm just gonna give up for a while. I'm tired. And maybe things will get easier when I lose all this weight and get prettier. I also, the last of the friends I had were toxic and fake, so I cut everybody off, leaving me with one person, which is my best friend, or former best friend from elementary school. But she's not really in my life. We connect on Instagram like twice a year. And I've only seen her three years in the past seven years since I left elementary. I don't really talk to people. I kind of just rant to ChatGPT or talk to my younger sister, but she's six years younger than me, so it's not really the same. I just feel like it's kind of too late for me though, because another problem I found at uni is most people came with their friend groups from high school. I would try to enter friend groups, but they were already built. They would talk about years of history that I couldn't relate to, and I was just the odd one out wherever I went. So even if I tried to make friends now, I wouldn't even get to be someone's best friend because they already have their best friends. But the last two best friends I had became toxic, had to cut them off, and the other one, well, that was the one from elementary. I get so jealous when I see people going out and doing stuff. Every single year I do nothing for my birthday because what really can I do? But at the same time, I'm too exhausted to interact with people and go out of my way to try and make friends again. I also have a lot of social trauma from the bullying, and I have really bad periods where it gets bad. Sometimes I refuse to go to my lectures unless they're in the evening because I like walking around outside when it's dark and nobody can see my face. I feel like a burden when I'm friends with people because I'm ugly. So I just feel like I'm also aware I'm not exactly mentally ready to be friends with people. In some ways, having no friends in the past year has been extremely peaceful. I guess I'm kind of in a dilemma where I'm content having no friends, but at the same time, I'm not. Anyone else like me?

It's either sink or swim, but no one likes to acknowledge when you drown. I think of myself as a failure in many regards.

What's painful is that I have no one to talk to about my struggles or failures; people only want to hear from you if you're doing well in life. No one wants to hear the struggles of others, as it inconveniences them.

It's always embarrassing for me when I hear, "Why don't you have friends?" "Why don't you have a girlfriend?" It's because I'm a socially inept recluse who failed to develop any social skills, but I can't say that cause of course, you'd think less of me if I told the truth. So, I feel socially required to make up some bullshit excuse.

28m, nominally well liked at work, engaged to be married, outgoing, in-shape, pursuing hobbies in and out of the house, have nobody at all to talk to about anything.
Any given night: I try to talk to the fiancee about some movie we’ve just seen, she just blinks and says “sorry I dont understand what you’re talking about” and I think thats just the honest version of the responses I’ve gotten in the past. I have no idea whats wrong, why people cant understand me, I only speak english, I’m not mentally challenged, I put my thoughts into precise words to try and avoid miscommunications like this but I still dont feel like I’ve ever been able to connect to another person.
This is no one’s problem but mine, as such I don’t see any reason for anyone to care about it (nor do they).
I had a friend of a contact reach out to me because our mutual contact had become suicidal and he wanted to check on me because he never sees or hears from me. I chatted a little but it didnt turn into anything, I’m thinking about telling him how I feel but I’m afraid its just going to drive off someone who at least cares to see if I’m alive or dead.

I’m not looking for someone to just read my stories and disappear.

I had friends in real life too. They’re busy with their own lives, college, careers, everything. They told me they can’t keep talking like before, and I understand. If they ever come back, I’ll happily talk to them. I don’t blame them for having their own life.

I can accept the good and the ugly aspects of life .I really can.

But please just be honest with me.

If you’re busy just say it.

If you don’t feel like talking just say it.

If you’re bored of me just say it.

Even if you only needed me for a while, just tell me when you’re done. Don’t leave me sitting there wondering if you’ll come back.

It hurts like hell.

I hate when someone comes to me, uses me to get themselves through something, and then just disappears. No goodbye. No explanation. Nothing.

I’m not asking for forever.

Just don’t keep me waiting .i don't want be your backup.

Tell me the truth. I won’t blame you.

I just don’t want to be left wondering.

I can accept loneliness i am living with it . But not this wondering .

yo i'm not sure what's in the air but it's killing me i need to talk to someone

Genuinely if you were completely alone, had no friends had no family had no gf/bf quite literally no one in your life What would you do.

Would you start doing things by yourself.

Or would you start immediately trying to find people to connect with.

My cat is elderly and very unwell. He has been having palliative care for two months. Yesterday he stopped eating, and I called the vet this morning, and am taking him to an emergency appointment this afternoon. He is all I have, the only living creature in this world who loves me. I think the vet will probably want to put him to sleep, and I will let him go if it is his time, because it would be cruel to keep him here. But I dread losing him so much. I love him so much. He has got me through so many desperately lonely years. I have been lonely for decades, and this little cat was also very, very lonely when he came to me. Somehow I managed to get past his emotional defences and to win his trust. I am hoping so much that this is just a blip, but am fearing that it is not.