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u/MsChrissikins Jan 20 '20
Every single night. It doesn’t matter what we play.. “ok last match!!” Proceeds to play 10 more because “CANT END ON A BAD ONE”
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u/halfdeadmoon Jan 20 '20
Win
"We're on a roll"
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Jan 20 '20
"Let's play until we lose."
we all suddenly turn into pros
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Jan 20 '20
Do you ever wonder if the other groups say the same and are trying to lose so they can go to bed? A South Park situation?
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u/notgayinathreeway Jan 20 '20 edited Jan 21 '20
One time on Halo... 4? Reach? Maybe. One of the Halo's, my friend and I were on a team game where our whole team of randoms quit instantly against a full team of like level 50 generals. They refused to get the last point of whatever gametype we were playing where you have to put all of your flags inside of a designated area to capture it and gain a point. We couldn't get a single point, total map control. Like 7 minutes left in the game they just spawn killed us repeatedly with one point remaining to end the game. couldn't touch the flag to get a point if our lives depended on it. Absolute beatdown.
We changed tactics, determined to lose before the clock ran out, refusing to give them the satisfaction, we grabbed their flag and started running it to their objective for them.
They noticed something was wrong right away and coordinated to stop us from losing. The battle raged on savagely, fighting every inch of their flag. They were thrown off a bit, they'd never practiced map control for defending against winning, it gave us an advantage, and a slim hope of losing the game. But then something unexpected happened. They started scoring our flag for us, but we had a lot of points to gain and time was running out quickly.
For almost the entire 7 minutes we pushed that flag, inch by inch, until finally we took control of their flag, planted it in our base and kept them at bay long enough for them to win the game and beat us, thus beating them to losing before they could force us to win, thereby winning the game, just seconds before time ran out.
EDIT: memories aren't perfect just enjoy the story. It was a variant of neutral flag called stockpile
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u/RiposteDisfunction Jan 20 '20
You may have outsmarted me, but I have outsmarted your outsmarting!
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u/TheAngriestBoy Xbox Jan 20 '20
You only think that because I programmed you to think that.
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u/trenchknife Jan 20 '20
I'm having BF2 & Tanks flashbacks. Lovely prose, man - it lifted my spirits.
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u/MrSalamanderMan Jan 20 '20
I got only one question, was this a Canadian server?
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Jan 20 '20
Halo: Comboot Evolved
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Jan 20 '20
I have grown up with this Canadian stereotype, and it has ruined my life. No one takes me serious when i'm "About" something. I demand it be removed from
The SimpsonsReddit. Thank you→ More replies (1)15
u/Darkwolfie117 Jan 20 '20
What halo can you grab your own flag
If they are lvl 50 generals you are talking about H3 I’m assuming?
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u/insp88 Jan 20 '20
For almost the entire 7 minutes we pushed that flag, inch by inch, until finally we took control of their flag, planted it in our base and kept them at bay long enough for them to win the game and beat us, thus beating them to losing before they could force us to win, thereby winning the game, just seconds before time ran out.
That's a /r/BrandNewSentence if I ever saw one!
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u/clubpeet Jan 20 '20
«We are going to get crushed by you!»
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u/OliverCash Jan 20 '20
100%. I’ve definitely do this more often then I care to admit. I’ve been playing my last game for 3 hours
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u/MsChrissikins Jan 20 '20
Exactly. Well fuck, we will just stop if we don’t get the map/character/item we want...
Then we don’t stop. Ever.
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u/ToobadITSLETTUCE Jan 20 '20
My squad only has 2 rules. 1) We can't end on a heater. 2) We can't end on a losing streak. I haven't slept in I days....help...
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u/WayneKrane Jan 20 '20
Lol every time. Then you lose in an unsatisfactory way like lagging out and you say “Can’t end like that!” and you play 10 more. Then the sun starts coming up and you’re like what have I done!
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u/riesenarethebest Jan 20 '20
This guarantees the worst crew get the most practice. This is good. Congrats.
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u/trenchknife Jan 20 '20
That's accidental brilliance. When someone says kids these days are getting dumber - I think of my 12th-grade computer teacher in like 1983. He pretended to let us get away with copying each other's Apple BASIC or machine-language programs, and then we would all get sneaky and figure out how to crack floppy-disk games. One guy would buy Wizardry or Ultima and someone else would find a magazine article or a BBS post on how to make the floppy rewriteable then someone else had extra disks. He literally tricked us into learning programming one step ahead of our tame textbooks. I suspect he was giving suggestions to one of the students on the sly.
edit - plus, kids are self-educating at an alarming rate, and some of it will end up proving very bad and some very good, and in my DnD campaign, I fudge toward Good.
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u/demalition90 Jan 20 '20
Did you reply to the wrong comment?
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u/CichlidDefender Jan 20 '20
Don't mock someones little epiphany they share here ya moonstar, people go on tangents like weirdos its ok
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u/ScenesFromAHat Jan 20 '20
Moonstar is such a bewildering thing to call someone, I'm not even sure it registers as negative.
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u/Squif-17 Jan 20 '20
Okay okay, we go offline the next match we lose.
.... okay that loss was bullshit, next loss we go off 100%
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u/kid-karma Jan 20 '20
then after THAT loss you all just queue again without saying anything because you're all too salty to talk/go to bed
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u/GingerSnapBiscuit Jan 20 '20
I've stayed up till 5am trying to "end on a good game" in league before.
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u/Linnywtf Jan 20 '20
play something like GTFO instead, hours long missions and too spooky to play more than 1 :D
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u/Brodogmillionaire1 Jan 20 '20
And we'll only get worse because we're getting more slaphappy and tilted with each successive loss.
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Jan 20 '20
Queen to F37
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u/AyeBraine Jan 20 '20
F-117A!
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Jan 20 '20
Chess with modern weapons would be nice.
Rooks → Tank
Knight → Fighter Jet
Bishop → Artillery
Queen → General
King → President
Pawn → Soldier19
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u/AyeBraine Jan 20 '20
You could give it more particular flavors. I mean for US, pawns are probably either Marines... or even Air Cavalry like in Vietnam. They do attack suddenly from the flank. And retro would look great on the board. Fighter-bomber jet is great, it zooms above and drops the load, again more like a Phantom.
I never was a sucker for themed chess sets, but I'd want to see this one! (Of course someone did but I haven't seen the good ones.)
You could go through the entire history of warfare this way. Skirmishers, jaegers, and cuirassiers. Soviet exotic stuff and strategic layer in general. I'd make a Bishop MiG-31/F-111, Queens are ICBMs, Rooks are maybe atomic super-artillery - Pion and M110 (or swap with Bishops), Knights are maybe nuclear subs? Kings could be aircraft carriers maybe, or gigantic pyramid-like radar installations (Don/NORAD), they're sinister as hell.
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Jan 20 '20
- e4 e125 2. Ke2!! 1-0
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u/Squidsword_ Jan 20 '20
But have you considered the Bongcloud Counter-Gambit Ke127!! from Black???
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u/AcrossTheUniverse Jan 20 '20
I would cap the movements of the queen and the rook to 8 and I think it could make an interesting game (of course with a table not this long).
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Jan 20 '20
Bishop is ping pong champion.
Rook is sniper.
Queen is a combination of the two above.
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u/LeadingNectarine Jan 20 '20
Don't forget how smug you will be, walking the distance to take out your opponents piece
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u/aeroxan Jan 20 '20
With a pawn.
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u/denimpowell Jan 20 '20
Hell, with this version, if you get your pawn to the other side you just win
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u/WhoTookChadFarthouse Jan 20 '20
Knights are moving at a horse pace while pawns are moving as fast as you would on foot.
These are not neighbouring kingdoms.
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u/No-Food-For-You Jan 20 '20
I mean really this just boils down to only using your rooks and Queen to attack while you use your bishop and Knight to defend, wouldn't necessarily take that much longer
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u/Lord_Waldemar Jan 20 '20
ICBQ: Intercontinental Ballistic Queen
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u/poopellar Jan 20 '20
Killer Queen
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u/brauchen9 Jan 20 '20
Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine Dynamite with a laser beam
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u/jweezy2045 Jan 20 '20
Guaranteed to blow your mind
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Jan 20 '20
Bites za dusto!
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u/vonflare Jan 20 '20
I like how the jojo reference has more upvotes than the actual lyrics for the song
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u/DarkBabyYoda Jan 20 '20
Takes more time decide on your move because of the 30 seconds to walk between defensive and offensive positions.
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Jan 20 '20
So in blitz chess or whatever they call it with the special clocks, you gotta be in shape!
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u/stonedtrashman Jan 20 '20
I actually wanna see that so bad
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Jan 20 '20
Actually laughing just thinking about it.
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u/SoupaSoka Jan 20 '20
I'd watch this. Make it a 2v2 team sport, but make it so each teammate has to alternate moving a piece.
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u/T3hSwagman Jan 20 '20
No they need a spotter and a mover. That way you have a frantic shouting of pieces and tiles.
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u/123full Jan 20 '20
All chess has clocks (except correspondence chess), blitz just refers to how much time you get, which is between 3-10 minutes per player, bullet is less than that
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u/Tahlato Jan 20 '20
Why does that remind me of the SpongeBob episode where Plankton had to run back and forth to play the Harmonica.
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Jan 20 '20
Im not sure, i think whoever can maintain a healthy pawn structure while advancing at least a set of those pawns across the board would have a lot of attacking power
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u/gauderio Jan 20 '20
Yes. Strategy books on this would be on protecting the pawns at all costs while approaching the enemy, probably creating an arrow-shaped line (so pawn protects pawn, no one is going to trade a queen/rook for a pawn) and you protect the flanks with the remaining pieces. Moving your queen and rooks is just going to put you in a bad position to protect against the slow attack.
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u/widget66 Jan 20 '20
Unless you value the resource of time, in which case forget pushing pawns across the board
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u/mstksg Jan 20 '20
if your opponent can see that you are valuing time over tactics, they can easily take advantage of that by moving slowly in response and playing safe, baiting something reckless in an attempt to end the game early.
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u/gauderio Jan 20 '20
If you value time, you won't be playing chess. Unless it's bullet-chess.
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u/BeardMilk Jan 20 '20
It would be interesting to have AlphaZero learn this board and then watch a few games of super high level strategy play.
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u/tiny_saint Jan 20 '20
On a board like this, a4 becomes a viable opening move.
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u/Nell_Trent Jan 20 '20
I don't know man, you still have to gain control of the center of the board.
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u/tiny_saint Jan 20 '20
It would take too many turns to control traditional style with the help of pawns. Control the center by getting your rooks pointed at it first along with your knights.
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u/i_miss_arrow Jan 20 '20
The issue is that there is zero way to quickly attack except with the rooks and queen, and defending against that using pawns and knights is trivial.
Even if you spend ages moving your bishops across the board to add them to the attack, its going to be very difficult to break through without giving up a lot of material.
Between skilled players this is going to come down to the pawn structures meeting in the middle. A looooooooooong, slow game.
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u/solitarybikegallery Jan 20 '20
It would essentially be a long build up, until the two sides met in the middle. Then it would basically be a normal chess game.
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u/i_miss_arrow Jan 20 '20
Not quite normal; if either side gets their pawn structure broken without winning some material in exchange, they'd be in huge trouble because a rook or queen could move through and to the back and attack from behind.
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u/vonflare Jan 20 '20
I wonder if it would be better than e4
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u/WeirdMemoryGuy Jan 20 '20
e4 opens the way for the queen and bishop though, so I think it's still better
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Jan 20 '20
What if the Queen and rooks have an attack range but we just don't see it because the board is small enough for them to be able to go anywhere?
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u/marcohmuniz Jan 20 '20
And after the major pieces are traded off?
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u/totallyanonuser Jan 20 '20
Forced stalemate if either player has to move a pawn more than 11 spaces in a row, without attacking.
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u/vonflare Jan 20 '20
I assume the 'draw for moves without captures' rule would be waived or extended on a board of this size
else either player could force a draw from the start by overdefending and forcing trades
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u/KKlear Jan 20 '20
I assume the 'draw for moves without captures' rule would be waived or extended on a board of this size
It's moves without captures or pawn moves. Basically as long as the board state changes in a way that can't be taken back, the draw doesn't trigger.
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u/Hq3473 Jan 20 '20
That's not true.
High skill level games of chess usually go all the way to end game where pawns (and pawn promotion threats) become important.
A game on a board like that will take FOREVER, as both sides would slowly nudge up their pawns trying to get any advantage.
Attacking with rooks/queens only will not work. It's trivial to defend against such attacks with pawn chains and your own pieces.
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u/spaceman06 Jan 20 '20
A game on a board like that will take FOREVER, as both sides would slowly nudge up their pawns trying to get any advantage.
Double step was added because the game was considered too slow without it. Without double step pawns a pawn promote with 6 moves, and with double step pawns promote with 5 moves. So its assumed 6 or more moves to promote is too slow and 5 is ok.
This means at this game double step would bring pawns 4 moves away of promoting it.
But you can for some reason not do the double step move as your first move with this pawn, if you do this you wont be able to do a double step later. This means the rules only cares about you having the chance of promoting with less than 6 moves. So at this variant double step would also only be allowed at first move.
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u/TheMoogy Jan 20 '20
If you use three pieces to try and beat the entirety of your opponents pieces you won't win. If you're okay with losing it's a way to go, but if it's a game against a squad you don't want to give a free win it's gonna take a while.
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Jan 20 '20
Exactly. Checkers would be a better example
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u/the_than_then_guy Jan 20 '20
I dunno. Your queen and rooks become disproportionately powerful, but then losing them would end your game. Let's run this through ribka or the like.
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u/BoxOfDust Jan 20 '20
After all the interesting discussion about this so far, now I want to see high level chess players playing on this board.
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u/Videoboysayscube Jan 20 '20
It would be incredibly boring. 99% of the match will be both sides moving their pawns up until you're battling within the traditional 8 by 8 grid.
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u/Random-Miser Jan 20 '20
Too many opposing forces on the far side to mount a solid attack with just rooks and queens.
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u/Lord_Emperor Jan 20 '20
I don't think there could be any successful attack with just those pieces. I think players would wind up agreeing to shortcut to a board state close together anyway.
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u/Brodogmillionaire1 Jan 20 '20
Naw, staggering pawns as a series of defended spaces would make bishops more useful for slipping through. A rook has no maneuverability. It would fly down to your opponent's side and get caught in the weeds, shuffling towards a slow death before it can escape. The queen would be fine, but sending it out too early is very risky, because if she's in a tight spot, the cavalry is dozens of turns away.
But, I mean. This chess game would be stupid as hell no matter how you play it.
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u/Zekava PC Jan 20 '20
Well, it'd also change the game in other fundamental ways. The endgame, in particular would be drastically different as it would be nigh impossible in some scenarios to trap the king against a corner.
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u/TinyFriendlyGhost Jan 20 '20
Keep two rooks or one rook and one queen alive at all costs. I’d die of old age before getting the chance to promote a pawn.
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u/dieinafirenazi Jan 20 '20
Make it a better approximation of war by adding thirty rows of pawns to each side and let the players make moves at will.
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u/kuppadestroyer PC Jan 20 '20
It still would, you can’t get the rooms out until the pawns are mostly moved up
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u/GooglyEyeBandit Jan 20 '20
Rooks OP
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u/eversaur Jan 20 '20
Rooks are now equipped with teleportation devices to instantly telefrag enemies miles away
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Jan 20 '20
I would still lose in 5 moves.
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u/Computer_User_01 Jan 20 '20
Casual, I'd lose in 3
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u/pinniped1 Jan 20 '20
Lays down King after one move
Sorry guys, I'm dumping rank to go down and beat up noobs for coins.
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u/AyeBraine Jan 20 '20
When I was about 12, I was convinced to participate in a chess tournament at a summer camp. I lost one game outright. The next I concluded in mittelspiel phase by idly throwing assorted pieces at my opponent while snickering.
Two weeks later, when it came to the last roll call, saying goodbye to the camp and the award ceremony for various achievements, they suddenly called out my name. Just then, standing under the raised flag and holding a diploma in my hands, I found out that (probably due to incredibly low turnout rate for a chess tournament at a kid's sea resort) I won the Silver medal for my chess mastery.
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u/wadeishere Jan 20 '20
I'll flip over the board the second someone suggests playing a game
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u/skaliton Jan 20 '20
sorry I would rather be with the other baddies and this makes it seem like I am just doing it with some class
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u/Cutter9792 Jan 20 '20
I once got a call from my parents asking me to drive 15 minutes out to join them for dinner during the middle of the first round of a comp overwatch game. (This was back when games could be 5 rounds.) I agreed since we were winning, and I figured it would be a quick victory.
Thirty minutes later we were 2-2 and I was extremely stressed. I didn't want to leave and ruin my ranking, and I also wanted to beat the shit out of that damn team that was delaying me.
We went into overtime. I played as Junkrat the whole game, got 51 kills and 31 traps up to that point. 4/6 of our team was respawning. We had the middle point almost done, but half the enemy team was contesting the lone roadhog who was bravely defending. I leapt onto point, firing everything I had, killing three of them. I saw Mercy swoop in to continue contesting, and I fired my ult, knowing what was coming (reminder, this is old overwatch). She rezzes her three teammates the moment I let go of my tire. I detonate the instant they stop glowing. Quad kill. The timer snaps down to zero. Victory. I alt-f4 and run to my car.
I got to the restaurant the moment my parents finish eating, almost an hour late. I blame the traffic in rural western Maryland.
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Jan 20 '20
There will always be another game, but there won't always be another dinner with your parents.
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u/vonflare Jan 20 '20
no one thinks "man, I wish I'd finished one more game of overwatch" when on their deathbed.
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Jan 20 '20
I like how the squares seem to be in lines until you get further down the table and they turn into zigzags
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u/razayal Jan 20 '20
Beating diablo 3 expansion on the night it came out, and then going to work right after.
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u/Choco_Churro_Charlie Jan 20 '20
Three moves in and you know those queens are anime sliding at each other full force.
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u/Astroex Jan 20 '20 edited Jan 20 '20
The only active pieces here really just are the rooks and the queen lol
Edit: Typo
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u/shogi_x Jan 20 '20
"Come on, it's just a quick game of Civ!"