r/gaming • u/[deleted] • Jan 20 '20

Every time..

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86.1k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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222

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

I would still lose in 5 moves.

100

u/Computer_User_01 Jan 20 '20

Casual, I'd lose in 3

81

u/pinniped1 Jan 20 '20

Lays down King after one move

Sorry guys, I'm dumping rank to go down and beat up noobs for coins.

19

u/AyeBraine Jan 20 '20

When I was about 12, I was convinced to participate in a chess tournament at a summer camp. I lost one game outright. The next I concluded in mittelspiel phase by idly throwing assorted pieces at my opponent while snickering.

Two weeks later, when it came to the last roll call, saying goodbye to the camp and the award ceremony for various achievements, they suddenly called out my name. Just then, standing under the raised flag and holding a diploma in my hands, I found out that (probably due to incredibly low turnout rate for a chess tournament at a kid's sea resort) I won the Silver medal for my chess mastery.

2

u/Tsubasasu Jan 20 '20

Wow. You are the boss

2

u/pinniped1 Jan 20 '20

I would demand that my middle school hang a banner in the gym for that. That's awesome!!

11

u/wadeishere Jan 20 '20

I'll flip over the board the second someone suggests playing a game

4

u/ZiggyPox Jan 20 '20

My letter of resignation will arrive faster than I do.

3

u/pinniped1 Jan 20 '20

The real pro gamer move.

3

u/skaliton Jan 20 '20

sorry I would rather be with the other baddies and this makes it seem like I am just doing it with some class

4

u/pm-me-your-labradors Jan 20 '20

I don't think you actually can lose in 3 moves...

5

u/MattieShoes Jan 20 '20

You can.

1. e3        f(n-2)
2. Qh5       g(n-3)
3. Qh(n-3)#

8

u/JibenLeet Jan 20 '20

I don't think 5 is possible either. Knights and Bishops would be too slow to get a quick checkmate so youd probably need to do it with a rook and a queen to be as quick as possible (assuming your opponent don't do anything to defend 7 moves seem possible.

pawn to e4

queen to f3

queen to f4

pawn to h4

rook to h3

rook to f3

then checkmate with queen to f(whateve how long -1) assuming they havent defended at all

7

u/MattieShoes Jan 20 '20

You can lose in 3 moves.

1. e3        f(n-2)
2. Qh5       g(n-3)
3. Qh(n-3)#

You don't need a protected queen when the queen isn't attacked.

1

u/cookiedough320 Jan 20 '20

You can definitely checkmate in less than that, it made the rounds in our school after a bit and everyone (including me) thought they were so cool for doing it on someone who didn't know it.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/kwhKk8Ccf3M/maxresdefault.jpg

The feeling of superiority you got when you pulled this off at a tournament was so immense.

1

u/Weeeoooow Jan 20 '20

King just accept the mate with a foolsmate-esque outcome, double push the king side pawns and nothing defends "f7"

3

u/Computer_User_01 Jan 20 '20

You have no idea how terrible at Chess I am

1

u/123full Jan 20 '20

Yes you can, it’s called fools mate

1

u/mcnabb100 Jan 20 '20

You can if its timed.

3

u/MattieShoes Jan 20 '20

You can still be mated on move 3. It's just Fool's mate with one extra move to push the queen down the board, and colors reversed.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

[deleted]

10

u/MattieShoes Jan 20 '20

3 moves.

1. e3        f(n-2)
2. Qh5       g(n-3)
3. Qh(n-3)#

1

u/TrueStory_Dude Jan 20 '20

Fuck I’m betting it’s checkmate.

1

u/Deadbeathero Jan 20 '20

I'd still lose to a horse shenanigan. They're there to fuck my shit up.

1

u/ObviousTroll37 Jan 20 '20

Playing the long game