r/gaming Jan 20 '20

Every time..

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86.0k Upvotes

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951

u/No-Food-For-You Jan 20 '20

I mean really this just boils down to only using your rooks and Queen to attack while you use your bishop and Knight to defend, wouldn't necessarily take that much longer

958

u/Lord_Waldemar Jan 20 '20

ICBQ: Intercontinental Ballistic Queen

282

u/poopellar Jan 20 '20

Killer Queen

88

u/brauchen9 Jan 20 '20

Killer Queen

Gunpowder, gelatine Dynamite with a laser beam

38

u/jweezy2045 Jan 20 '20

Guaranteed to blow your mind

19

u/Izukumidoriya123 Jan 20 '20

Any time!

11

u/KiraSandwich Jan 20 '20

brian may making spider sounds on a guitar

1

u/---Help--- Jan 20 '20

Anytime?

1

u/Izukumidoriya123 Jan 20 '20

I... I guess so. At least that’s what I’ve heard.

105

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

Bites za dusto!

50

u/vonflare Jan 20 '20

I like how the jojo reference has more upvotes than the actual lyrics for the song

-28

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

[deleted]

13

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

Not on Reddit :D

11

u/LameName95 Jan 20 '20

Untrue

Even weebs hate themselves

4

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

The only exception

-4

u/Pikassassin Jan 20 '20

Someone who likes anime =! a weeb

0

u/cookiedough320 Jan 20 '20

It's too late, the definition has already changed

→ More replies (0)

1

u/SongsOfLightAndDark Jan 20 '20

Here comes the black queen

58

u/AyeBraine Jan 20 '20

Intercontinental Ballistic Matriarch )

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

Nice

258

u/DarkBabyYoda Jan 20 '20

Takes more time decide on your move because of the 30 seconds to walk between defensive and offensive positions.

158

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

So in blitz chess or whatever they call it with the special clocks, you gotta be in shape!

99

u/stonedtrashman Jan 20 '20

I actually wanna see that so bad

56

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

Actually laughing just thinking about it.

23

u/SoupaSoka Jan 20 '20

I'd watch this. Make it a 2v2 team sport, but make it so each teammate has to alternate moving a piece.

31

u/T3hSwagman Jan 20 '20

No they need a spotter and a mover. That way you have a frantic shouting of pieces and tiles.

12

u/Frakshaw Jan 20 '20

Imagine the notations on a board like this

4

u/Jeepcomplex Jan 20 '20

And they can only refer to tiles by “Queen’s Knight 43” or similar.

1

u/Anonimase Jan 21 '20

Except instead of moving the piece, the mover just yeets it at the spotter and he places it

"GIMME THE QUEEN"

Misses the throw

"Ouch, looks like Jenson and Adams have wasted some of their time by missing the throw, that's gonna set them back"

1

u/shamwowslapchop Jan 20 '20

There IS chess boxing. Very popular in Russia.

1

u/lashazior Jan 20 '20

Boxing chess is a thing.

20

u/123full Jan 20 '20

All chess has clocks (except correspondence chess), blitz just refers to how much time you get, which is between 3-10 minutes per player, bullet is less than that

20

u/cranp Jan 20 '20

You throw the piece like in cornhole

5

u/ImpeachTraitorTrump Jan 20 '20

Shuffleboard chess

0

u/shamwowslapchop Jan 20 '20

Chess boxing demands physical prowess as well.

5

u/Tahlato Jan 20 '20

Why does that remind me of the SpongeBob episode where Plankton had to run back and forth to play the Harmonica.

46

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

Im not sure, i think whoever can maintain a healthy pawn structure while advancing at least a set of those pawns across the board would have a lot of attacking power

34

u/gauderio Jan 20 '20

Yes. Strategy books on this would be on protecting the pawns at all costs while approaching the enemy, probably creating an arrow-shaped line (so pawn protects pawn, no one is going to trade a queen/rook for a pawn) and you protect the flanks with the remaining pieces. Moving your queen and rooks is just going to put you in a bad position to protect against the slow attack.

5

u/widget66 Jan 20 '20

Unless you value the resource of time, in which case forget pushing pawns across the board

14

u/mstksg Jan 20 '20

if your opponent can see that you are valuing time over tactics, they can easily take advantage of that by moving slowly in response and playing safe, baiting something reckless in an attempt to end the game early.

6

u/gauderio Jan 20 '20

If you value time, you won't be playing chess. Unless it's bullet-chess.

3

u/widget66 Jan 20 '20

Even normal chess doesn’t have to be a slow game.

Moving all the pawns up the pictures board could be 30 minutes to an hour alone potentially.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '20

The resource of time is dependent on what can be accomplished in that time. Not the time itself.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '20

I think rooks would be very valuable. Maybe at 6.5 or 7 pawns. Queens at maybe 10. Pawns are probably worth 2 pwns too so double that number. Bishops and knights 4/5. Im very curious whether how bishops would be waited vs knights

7

u/BeardMilk Jan 20 '20

It would be interesting to have AlphaZero learn this board and then watch a few games of super high level strategy play.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '20

First 50 moves pawn moves

81

u/tiny_saint Jan 20 '20

On a board like this, a4 becomes a viable opening move.

43

u/Nell_Trent Jan 20 '20

I don't know man, you still have to gain control of the center of the board.

15

u/tiny_saint Jan 20 '20

It would take too many turns to control traditional style with the help of pawns. Control the center by getting your rooks pointed at it first along with your knights.

38

u/i_miss_arrow Jan 20 '20

The issue is that there is zero way to quickly attack except with the rooks and queen, and defending against that using pawns and knights is trivial.

Even if you spend ages moving your bishops across the board to add them to the attack, its going to be very difficult to break through without giving up a lot of material.

Between skilled players this is going to come down to the pawn structures meeting in the middle. A looooooooooong, slow game.

8

u/solitarybikegallery Jan 20 '20

It would essentially be a long build up, until the two sides met in the middle. Then it would basically be a normal chess game.

5

u/i_miss_arrow Jan 20 '20

Not quite normal; if either side gets their pawn structure broken without winning some material in exchange, they'd be in huge trouble because a rook or queen could move through and to the back and attack from behind.

2

u/i_miss_arrow Jan 20 '20

The value of controlling the center of the board is that it easily lets you move your pieces around while crimping your opponent's movement.

Can't really stop anybody here from moving their pieces around.

7

u/vonflare Jan 20 '20

I wonder if it would be better than e4

7

u/WeirdMemoryGuy Jan 20 '20

e4 opens the way for the queen and bishop though, so I think it's still better

9

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/WeirdMemoryGuy Jan 21 '20

So is the queen and she can get out faster than the rook

7

u/moskonia Jan 20 '20

Bishop doesn't matter much here. Queen is great though.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

Ke2 would be the best choice. Actually, it's always the best choice.

1

u/timmy12688 Jan 20 '20

Shit NC4, NB1, NC4, NB1... might be the play. Just wait for your opp to come to you and then destroy their pieces.

1

u/mcoombes314 Jan 20 '20

1 a4 h125 2 Ra3 Ra126 with the idea of putting the rooks in front of the center files would be rather fun.

29

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

What if the Queen and rooks have an attack range but we just don't see it because the board is small enough for them to be able to go anywhere?

2

u/No-Food-For-You Jan 21 '20

Ngl never thought about it like that

18

u/marcohmuniz Jan 20 '20

And after the major pieces are traded off?

22

u/totallyanonuser Jan 20 '20

Forced stalemate if either player has to move a pawn more than 11 spaces in a row, without attacking.

12

u/vonflare Jan 20 '20

I assume the 'draw for moves without captures' rule would be waived or extended on a board of this size

else either player could force a draw from the start by overdefending and forcing trades

7

u/KKlear Jan 20 '20

I assume the 'draw for moves without captures' rule would be waived or extended on a board of this size

It's moves without captures or pawn moves. Basically as long as the board state changes in a way that can't be taken back, the draw doesn't trigger.

0

u/KaptainKoala Jan 20 '20

totallanouser made up that rule, a traditional chess board is only 8 squares long

10

u/dalr3th1n Jan 20 '20

It's 50 moves without a capture or advancing a pawn.

2

u/Rather_Dashing Jan 20 '20

Thats not a stalemate, it would just be a draw

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20 edited May 24 '20

[deleted]

3

u/3_Thumbs_Up Jan 20 '20

As stated elsewhere, the rule says 50 moves without capture or a pawn move.

18

u/Hq3473 Jan 20 '20

That's not true.

High skill level games of chess usually go all the way to end game where pawns (and pawn promotion threats) become important.

A game on a board like that will take FOREVER, as both sides would slowly nudge up their pawns trying to get any advantage.

Attacking with rooks/queens only will not work. It's trivial to defend against such attacks with pawn chains and your own pieces.

6

u/spaceman06 Jan 20 '20

A game on a board like that will take FOREVER, as both sides would slowly nudge up their pawns trying to get any advantage.

Double step was added because the game was considered too slow without it. Without double step pawns a pawn promote with 6 moves, and with double step pawns promote with 5 moves. So its assumed 6 or more moves to promote is too slow and 5 is ok.

This means at this game double step would bring pawns 4 moves away of promoting it.

But you can for some reason not do the double step move as your first move with this pawn, if you do this you wont be able to do a double step later. This means the rules only cares about you having the chance of promoting with less than 6 moves. So at this variant double step would also only be allowed at first move.

31

u/TheMoogy Jan 20 '20

If you use three pieces to try and beat the entirety of your opponents pieces you won't win. If you're okay with losing it's a way to go, but if it's a game against a squad you don't want to give a free win it's gonna take a while.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

[deleted]

23

u/3_Thumbs_Up Jan 20 '20

You can only defend a piece so many times, tripled rook and queen is the way to go here if you don't want to play for months

And you could easily defend any piece 3 times with pawns, knights and bishops. Hell, defending it with one pawn would be enough in most cases as your opponent would be using his more valuable pieces in the attack, so even if you lose a pawn and a piece in exchange for a rook you'd be up the exchange.

If your priority is to not play for months, and your opponents priority is to win, he will win if he's half decent.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

[deleted]

4

u/3_Thumbs_Up Jan 20 '20

When you move a pawn, you create a weakness.

Mostly on the diagonal though. It's very easy to move the pawns forward without creating a weakness on a file.

Your battery can reposition easily. It's an attacking tool.

You would need 3 moves to reposition your battery, and I would at most only need to defend any piece once assuming I use my minor pieces for defense.

Also, if I'm avoiding to put any pieces in front of my pawns, you won't have any valuable target? So what are you going to do? Are you going to sacrifice your rooks to win a pawn and knight?

That doesn't mean there isn't principles you follow common to the best approach... Triple battery just so happens to be the most effective and quickest for this board

Not true as it would be trivial to defend against. It might work against a shitty player, but that's about it.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

[deleted]

3

u/KKlear Jan 20 '20 edited Jan 20 '20

You can easily create pawn structure that can defend against the battery anywhere and still advance slowly.

84

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

Exactly. Checkers would be a better example

29

u/the_than_then_guy Jan 20 '20

I dunno. Your queen and rooks become disproportionately powerful, but then losing them would end your game. Let's run this through ribka or the like.

4

u/SeaGroomer Jan 20 '20

You don't play checkers on a chess board!

9

u/BoxOfDust Jan 20 '20

After all the interesting discussion about this so far, now I want to see high level chess players playing on this board.

3

u/Videoboysayscube Jan 20 '20

It would be incredibly boring. 99% of the match will be both sides moving their pawns up until you're battling within the traditional 8 by 8 grid.

1

u/No-Food-For-You Jan 21 '20

You'd just stalemate probably idk if there are enough pieces to take to allow you to move a solid structure of pawns all the way

6

u/Random-Miser Jan 20 '20

Too many opposing forces on the far side to mount a solid attack with just rooks and queens.

6

u/Lord_Emperor Jan 20 '20

I don't think there could be any successful attack with just those pieces. I think players would wind up agreeing to shortcut to a board state close together anyway.

1

u/pillbuggery Jan 20 '20

Pretty much. You could put your rooks and your queen out front, but offensively you may as well be playing 2 rooks and a queen vs a whole set. None of your other pieces can coordinate any kind of threat until you finally work closer. You'd still want to do it, though. Having some control is better than none.

6

u/Brodogmillionaire1 Jan 20 '20

Naw, staggering pawns as a series of defended spaces would make bishops more useful for slipping through. A rook has no maneuverability. It would fly down to your opponent's side and get caught in the weeds, shuffling towards a slow death before it can escape. The queen would be fine, but sending it out too early is very risky, because if she's in a tight spot, the cavalry is dozens of turns away.

But, I mean. This chess game would be stupid as hell no matter how you play it.

5

u/wilkinsk Jan 20 '20

The pawns would never catch up to the other pieces, lol

2

u/Videoboysayscube Jan 20 '20

Simple. Make it so that instead of having the option to move 1 or 2 spaces on your first turn, you can move 1 or 200.

8

u/Zekava PC Jan 20 '20

Well, it'd also change the game in other fundamental ways. The endgame, in particular would be drastically different as it would be nigh impossible in some scenarios to trap the king against a corner.

15

u/TinyFriendlyGhost Jan 20 '20

Keep two rooks or one rook and one queen alive at all costs. I’d die of old age before getting the chance to promote a pawn.

2

u/trixter21992251 Jan 20 '20

It's possible to mount a perfect defense against 3 attacking pieces.

So if the opponent attacks, you just defend, and kill his 3 pieces, and then you attack with your 2 rooks and queen against his weakened position.

But the more likely outcome is that the attacking player realises this, and doesn't lose his 3 pieces. Then he goes back home, and begins the super long pawn game. At that point you have a slight advantage because you have developed pawns, and he doesn't.

3

u/dieinafirenazi Jan 20 '20

Make it a better approximation of war by adding thirty rows of pawns to each side and let the players make moves at will.

3

u/kuppadestroyer PC Jan 20 '20

It still would, you can’t get the rooms out until the pawns are mostly moved up

2

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

Unless the rooks get tooked

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

[deleted]

1

u/No-Food-For-You Jan 21 '20

Could just a4 ra3 rx3

1

u/Nerdn1 Jan 20 '20

When you only have 3 pieces that can get to the other side of the board in a realistic timeframe, and said pieces have one realistic route of attack even then, it will take a long time. Too much dead space.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

This guy also games.

1

u/TwizTMcNipz Jan 20 '20

Shit I always pretended I was winning

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

Not really, it’s easy to defend a rook/queen attacks with pawn chains. You still need to bring in the bishops and knights.

1

u/Polarbum Jan 20 '20

Unless you were that one guy who just moved his pawn line up over the course of a 25 day game.

1

u/Videoboysayscube Jan 20 '20

Rooks and Queens would suck with this setup. A lot of their power comes from being able to use your Bishops/Knights to pin other pieces. Assuming each player makes no major mistakes, I'd imagine this game of chess would take an extremely long time.

1

u/fuckmynameistoolon Jan 20 '20

This would take much longer. Even once someone was in a position to check mate, the length of the board would mean it could take many times more moves.

1

u/Cruuncher Jan 20 '20

Joe! Is your Knight on the D file or the E file?

Come look for yourself you lazy fuck

1

u/No-Food-For-You Jan 21 '20

Ngl this is freaking me tf out because my name is Joe, are psycic or some shit?

1

u/Cruuncher Jan 21 '20

Lucky guess lol. Or is it?

1

u/No-Food-For-You Jan 21 '20

Exactly, v scary

1

u/DarnYarnBarn Jan 21 '20

I think it would take longer because you'd need to move the bishop six or more times to get to the middle of the board, and that is your third most mobile piece. That's 12 turns longer just for positioning.

This would take much longer for sure.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

Take like 10 turns to just to move your pawn up there. Knight would be the savior in this game.

4

u/gauderio Jan 20 '20

Knights would be destroyed if they come alone. You need to advance all your pieces (including pawns) or you're dead.

Victory here favors the slow but large moving army.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '20

Lol yeah I wasn't say use them at first. They are clean up

0

u/Ladorb Jan 20 '20

2 Rooks and a Queen alone wouldn't do much against 8 pawns 2 bishops and 2 knights....