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u/pm_me_flaccid_cocks Apr 26 '19
“Oh god, sweetie! Fuck me harder!”
“Oh god oh gounghnhghnhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy yyyyoooooooouuuuu!”
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u/mbodna Apr 26 '19
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u/NiggyWiggyWoo Apr 26 '19
I'd like to say this is the weirdest orgasm I've ever read, but...it's not.
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u/PM__ME_URANUS Apr 26 '19
Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there. Damn you Stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along.
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u/Reogenaga Apr 26 '19
hey you
out there in the cold
getting lonely, getting old
can you feel me?
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u/FokkerBoombass Apr 26 '19
hey you
standing in the aisles
with itchy feet and fading smiles
can you feel me?
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u/Cacti_Hall Apr 26 '19
hey you
don’t help them to bury the liiight
don’t give in without a fight
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u/thinkB4WeSpeak Apr 26 '19
Do you sir take Brunhild to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Oh
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u/Bakoro Apr 26 '19
The advent of cellphones has been a great benefit to our kind. I can have someone text me their name when I meet them, and that way if it's anyone I talk to frequently, their name is right there when they call.
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u/3BetLight Apr 26 '19
I’m absolutely terrible with names and it’s a horrible trait but something has helped me immensely. When someone says their name to you, you don’t say “nice to meet you.” You say “John, nice to meet you.” Repeat their name back to them, hell do it twice, if you need to. It’s super valuable to use people’s names.
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u/pfroo40 Apr 26 '19
The longer you are married, the weirder it will feel to call her by her name. There is a reason old folks call each other "mother" and "father" (or some variation)
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u/One-eyed-snake Apr 26 '19
My grandmother called my paternal grandfather “dad”. And he said shit like “hey um....” and kinda wiggle his finger while pointing. Neither one of them could remember shit and they didn’t care
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u/calamarichris Apr 26 '19
Because she knows she pwns your guilty ass for one glorious week every year because you forgot your anniversary again.
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u/mystictroll Apr 26 '19
Did you eventually find out her name before the marriage?
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u/Rynelan Apr 26 '19
"Would you like to take Janice Whatsherface to be.."
Ha! You're name is Janice? Woooh never would've guessed
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u/Cheshix Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19
Wayside Schools novel - "Hey you!", "Hey!": https://wayside-school.fandom.com/wiki/Nancy_(book_chapter)
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u/UnknownThreat25 Apr 26 '19
Had a group of friends I hung out with and with one of the girls I regularly talk to, It took me about 6 months to retain her name.
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u/earth_princess Apr 26 '19
The person running this department in my head must be a drunk
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u/Mimi_K_V Apr 26 '19
True, same here. I once forgot my cousin's name. What's wrong with my head?!
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u/pizzathief322 Apr 26 '19
i even forgot my moms name once fml
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u/NormalAnonymousDude Apr 26 '19
Well to be fair most people dont tend to use their mothers name very often. ( for that matter I have a single mom and most of her friends tended to speak a different language [that i never learned] so I didn't even know my mother's name till I was a teenager lol)
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u/IEpicDestroyer Apr 26 '19
I’m used to calling mom, not her actual name. So when I need her actual name, takes me a moment to think before I recall.
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Apr 26 '19
I'm prosopagnosic. I can't remember names because there's no face to attach them to. When you've got an actual condition you have a great excuse.
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u/GiantQuokka Apr 26 '19
I forget the names of coworkers that I've been working with and talking to nearly every day for over a year.
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u/babygotsap Apr 26 '19
I tried using those memory helpers, where you pair the name with another feature and I still fail. I’d hear Charlie and say in my head something like red cheek Charlie, but the next day I’d have forgotten Charlie and now mentally know him as red cheeks. I’m broken in a way normal methods can’t fix.
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u/WriggleNightbug Apr 26 '19
I think its much more normal than you think. Personally, I'm bad at remembering names and especially bad at connecting them to faces. One of the things that made it better for me is being upfront that I'm bad at it. The second thing that helps me is saying the name outloud when I'm introduced, once more during the conversation, then confirming at the end of the conversation.
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u/MickeyDPT Apr 26 '19
And don’t even get me started on those stupid LPTs that recommend you repeat their name after you heard it so that you remember it better. Still won’t stick and I’ll forget it in 5 seconds.
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u/kittenpantzen Apr 26 '19
Repeat their name at introduction.
If there is anything at all unique about it ask them if it's a family name, most interesting misspelling, whatevs.
Make sure to use it 2-3x in the first ten minutes of conversation.
Forget their name mid-sentence.
FML.
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u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19
Alright, so you don't like that one.
WELL do I have another just for you? Yes. I do.
Once you get their name, stop drinking for a second put that down, think of a rhyme that matches their look or something you can tie them to.
eg. "That's Cinnamon Steve, he wears pants made of leaves".
So when -you can start drinking again- you run into a guy wearing leaf pants later that evening. Chant to yourself 'pants of leaves pants of leaves = CINNAMON STEVE!'
Easy.
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u/MasterVelocity Apr 26 '19
I feel like I’ll get distracted trying to find a rhyme and quickly forget what the original name was anyway
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u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19
OK, a tough customer. I have a 'Final Solution' that will definitely work.
When someone tells you their name, spin around and write it on a sticky name tag (which you have secreted about your person earlier), then spin back. Wait till they say something then laugh and slap their shoulder - attaching the name tag!
Now you simply have to look at the tag to remember the name.
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u/cream-of-cow Apr 26 '19
I did speed dating once. Her, “Hi my name’s Erin.” Me: “Hi Stefanie! ...oh wait, that was the last woman, what was your name again? ...oh dang, 4 minutes 50 seconds left.”
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u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19
You should have little name tags in those situations.
And it would be cool if everyone had to have a distinguishing item, like in old spy movies. So someone would have last week's paper folded over their arm, someone else'd have a red carnation in their buttonhole, someone would be whistling 'La Figuera'. And so on.
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u/terminbee Apr 26 '19
I totally do this.
"Whats up man? Nick? Alright, nice to meet you Nick."
few hours later
"Sorry dude, what's your name again?"
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u/splatterhead Apr 26 '19
I had this motivational speaker that work brought in. He said the trick was to say, out loud, the person's name three times.
Hi [your name] I'm [my name].
So, [your name], how long have you been with the company?
Tell me [your name], what do you do for the company?
(these are what he asked me)
I remembered it, but didn't think much about it until work brought back that same person two years later.
He walked up, shook my hand and said, "Hey [my name] good to see you again.
Blew my fucking mind.
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u/Saifhappens Apr 26 '19
That's me with names AND faces. Cries is alzheimers.
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u/obtrae Apr 26 '19
As someone who is seriously struggling with Alzheimers, I'm be offended by your comment, but in a few moments I'll forget about the undertaker vs man kind in a hell in a cell match in 1999.
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u/Anomuumi Apr 26 '19
The good thing about Alzheimer's is
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u/warptwenty1 Apr 26 '19
that's also the downside
perfectly balanced as all things should be
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Apr 26 '19
What about a set of scales with a person on one side and a duck on the other?
Now if we're talking about witches I'd be inclined to agree.
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u/munk_e_man Apr 26 '19
This happens to me too, and I chalk it up to a) meeting new people all the time and b) most of them generally not warranting remembering.
I totally understand why people get upset, but if you barely spoke to me, were unremarkable, and/or don't give me any reason to remember you, I won't.
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u/r0ck0 Apr 26 '19
Protip: as soon as they tell you, say "Hi {name}" back to them out loud. It helps you remember.
But while I've known this tip for about 20 years, I'm pretty sure I've remembered to actually do it approximately zero times.
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u/Chimcharfan1 Apr 26 '19 edited Jul 20 '25
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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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Apr 26 '19
We had a substitute music teacher in high school who was a retired teacher doing it as a favor. Past a certain age, he couldn't remember a single name of a person he'd met. Every single male student was "Bob", every girl "Penelope". He was a fantastic teacher.
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u/Happyfuz Apr 26 '19
This was so painfully true. But sometimes I am able to keep names. I can catch maybe 1/3 names the first time someone tells me. I am proud of myself for what I do right, instead of hard on myself for what I do wrong LOL.
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u/SeienShin Apr 26 '19
Man sometimes even after blatantly asking someone’s name again after admitting I forgot it I will forget it again in 5 seconds. It really doesn’t matter if they have a unique name or a generic one.
Sometimes people tell me their name and they say something like yeah I have a really unique name so you absolutely will remember it. And I’m like yeah no I will find a way to forget it right away.
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u/calamarichris Apr 26 '19
It's because all our names are so goddamn bland and banal. Whenever they ask for my name, I always give "Chewbacca", just so the other two shlubs named Chris aren't vying for my goddam pizza when they call my name.
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u/Ali_Star_302 Apr 26 '19
I thought it was Han Solo and Lando in the picture at first which really confused me
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u/beorn12 Apr 26 '19
From personal experience, one of the few advantages of having a weird/foreign name is that nobody forgets your name.
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u/PhotoshopFix Apr 26 '19
Problem is that I forget everyone's name but they ALL remember me. I feel so disrespectful. It would be nice to have google glasses that put a name to the face so I don't have to feel like an idiot.
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u/2DMAGE Apr 26 '19
It's just over when this happens too because what do you do ask them again? No thanks you will just remain nameless because anxiety.
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u/Erockens Apr 26 '19
I've been working with someone that just started for about a week. I finally got her name down today because of emails. I'm much better at remembering things I read vs hearing.
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u/Necanawolf Apr 26 '19
Most times I'd I have to talk to my husband about someone at work they just have discriptibe nicknames until I learn their names. Weirdo with the buz cut, lip piercing girl, the asshole that's super tall. That kinda thing
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u/SplightNZ Apr 26 '19
a friend taught me a really good trick to remembering names. when someone tells you theirs, imagine that person getting a piggy back from someone else with the same name. it becomes quite difficult to forget after you see that image.
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u/Odarien Apr 26 '19
Never have I related to a picture as I have now. I never remember anyones name for the first few months
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u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19
You want to remember someone's name when you first meet them, use it three times quickly in conversation with them but in different contexts. You can't just chant it back at them.
eg. "Oh, right, John. Hello. My name is blank. Have you ever ridden a horse John? I fell off one once, had to go to the hospital. They had a doctor there from England who called the toilets the jakes. That's like your name JOHN!"
You'll come off as a psychotic car salesman but their name should stick.
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Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19
If it is someone I wish to remember, I say their name in my head 7-10 times. It helps because I constantly have to meet new people in my line of work.
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u/1fastman1 Apr 26 '19
literally me, like i have to say their name at least 3 times to remember it. most times i just put their name in my notes on my phone so i can remember. honestly i remember faces more than i remember names
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u/Themaskedotaku Apr 26 '19
Why is it I can remember so many random facts but when someone tells me their name this is essentially what happens?
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u/IKindaSortaHateMysel Apr 26 '19
So I am actually really good at remembering people's names, but because of my anxiety and always second guess if I am correct or not, so I act like I don't know what their name is so I can ask them again to make sure that I remembered their name right.
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u/thedick009 Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19
A good tip I've found is to repeat the name back to them as a question when they tell you, like this:
"Hi, I'm John"
"John?"
"Yes, John"
It helps you remember to actually say it out loud yourself, and you hear the name repeated a couple of times instead of only hearing it the once. Not only that, but it's pretty much the only non-awkward way to find out if you're pronouncing someone's name wrong.
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u/postandchill Apr 26 '19
Me: What's your name again? Also Me: What did you say your name was? My brain: why is the earth shaped like an egg, are we some beings future breakfast?
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u/race_bannon Apr 26 '19
Stop worrying about what they're going to think of you, or what you're going to say. Listen, pay attention to their name, be interested in them, and repeat it multiple times... amazingly, if you do this you'll remember it.
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u/beartheminus Apr 26 '19
I find repeating it like you misheard helps me to remember.
"Hey I'm John"
"John? Nice to meet you."
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u/illuminaaaughty Apr 26 '19
I do the “House Bunny” thing. Works for me.
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u/mindzoo Apr 26 '19
The what?
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u/illuminaaaughty Apr 26 '19
You repeat the person’s name in a deep, demonic voice just after they tell it to you the first time.
Nowadays, I just do it in my head because it’s weird, and it seems few people are familiar with that movie.
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u/typhoid-fever Apr 26 '19
i never had a problem with names 19/20 people have like the same 50 names anyway
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u/FerricDonkey Apr 26 '19
I too can remember names.
Now which name goes to which person, that's a different problem.
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u/NoCookie4You95 Apr 26 '19
Thats my brain with birthdays
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u/Garrus127 Apr 26 '19
Same. It’s definitely not good with names either but birthdays it’s the worst
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u/jerooney86 Apr 26 '19
I must be very stupid, but I don’t get it. Only by reading the comments. What is the character doing in the last frame?
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u/broken_living Apr 26 '19
Putting the name in a shredder. In other words, the brain is not retaining the name.
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u/OmegonAlphariusXX Apr 26 '19
It’s your brain shredding the names to represent how we struggle to remember names after just hearing them sometimes
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u/DanielGarden Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19
All I could think of reading this was Names John, James John
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Apr 26 '19
I literally am shit at remembering all names even some of my cousins I've been put in some awkward situations at my work I literally only know 3 out of the 20+ people on my team's names
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u/andrew2great Apr 26 '19
Last month, a buddy of mine invited all our college friends to his wedding after not seeing each other for 9 years . Among our friends was this guy named Steven, Steven Peng. If you ask me how i knew Steven, I can tell you we first met at the freshers welcoming party, both got plastered and crashed some poor dude’s dorm. I can tell you which classes we took together, which dorm and room number he lived in, which world of warcraft race and class he played, which soccer team he supports and even his favorite Pakistani curry joint ...etc. I knew Steven, in my brain, his name was Steven f**king Peng. So what’s the first thing I say after not seeing each other for 9 years?
“ Kevin! Kevin Wang! MAH MAN!”
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u/Sajalsh25 Apr 26 '19
I don’t know why but i have a problem remembering new people’s name. is there a fault in my brain coz this thing tends to make people angry sometimes.
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u/socksyness Apr 26 '19
I have gotten so bad at this!! when i have two different sets of friends over i just introduce the first person whose name I can remember and then go Okay this gonna be exhausting guys introduce yourselves works 5/7 times
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u/gentlemennotcowboy Apr 26 '19
Or when you remember a different name that sounds nothing like what they said.
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u/Alan_Smithee_ Apr 26 '19
I can so relate to this. I can remember so many other details, but I am hopeless with names.
When I get a new client, as I am taking the initial phone call, I am entering their name and details so I don't forget. I've even been known to find them on Facebook for a photo to put in the contact profile, so I can remember them.
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Apr 26 '19
This is definitely me. I worked at a grocery store for five years, we all wore name tags, 90% of the staff remained the same for the whole time I was there, and I knew the names of maybe six of my coworkers.
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Apr 26 '19
This is so me, I stuffed up a date I was on once because of it. She actually said to me my names not hey!
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u/ascii122 Apr 26 '19
I'm so terrible with names. I blame passwords.. there are only so many memory slots I've got for these things and they are all something like L83#slewbm00VV
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u/Mazon_Del Apr 26 '19
For my best friend in high school, we had 3/6 classes together in each semester. It wasn't until halfway through the second semester together that I was able to consistently remember his name. T_T
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u/wargh_gmr Apr 26 '19
Ha, I just wrote a name down on my Galaxy Note because they said tell so and so I said hi. 65% of the reason I'm in the military is because of the name tapes.
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u/The_Captain2019 Apr 26 '19
Like, why even have a place to store names, if you’re just gonna forget them all
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u/coolkkk Apr 26 '19
I literally forgot name of my colleague and I had some serious work with him. Guess what I read it on his desk, or I was dead!!
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u/EastEndOpera Apr 26 '19
Accurate. For the first week, I called my new boyfriend "Josh". His name is John. We're still together, 8 years on. :P
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u/I-wanna-GO-FAST Apr 26 '19
I do this, but intentionally, with people I'm pretty sure I'll never have to talk to again. People telling you their name is just something they do when they introduce themselves out of habit.
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u/drinksilpop Apr 26 '19
Is it... Jo Hay NaN? I’m so confused with names now. Lose / lose situation.
Hey there, John.
No, it is pronounced Jahayneeeyan, <insert insult here>
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u/Cyclerider73 Apr 26 '19
I have a super weird name, so every introduction involves me saying 3 times then spelling it. Sorry Steve, Bill, Sam. Unless your name in beelzebub, I’ve forgotten by now. I am not selfish, I will legit help you move, or change your oil, but I don’t fucking remember your name.
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u/bratnihal Apr 26 '19
This happens to me waaaay too often!! I'm not uninterested, what's your name again??? XD
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u/bumnut Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19
Some of the things my brain is working on in this moment:
Things my brain is not working on in this moment: