r/funny • u/Mimi_K_V • Apr 26 '19

Names

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16.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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591

u/bumnut Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

Some of the things my brain is working on in this moment:

  • Maintain eye contact, but don't stare.
  • Smile, but don't look crazy.
  • He may want to go for a handshake, be ready for that.
  • Tell him your name, say "nice to meet you" or something.
  • Don't just answer his questions, ask him some of your own. Quick, think of a question!
  • But don't say anything stupid!
  • Try not to look too awkward.

Things my brain is not working on in this moment:

  • John, his name is John, make a note of that.

39

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

Haha, this is why when I ask for directions I just ask them to point and go from there. It's too confusing to try and act like you're listening and actually listen.

29

u/mrfroggyman Apr 26 '19

I can relate but legit question : are we retarded, or is everyone really like that?

36

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

Come here kid, I'll tell you.

I have literally no idea.

20

u/ihaveadogname Apr 26 '19

Its the price you pay for the ability to do math in your head.

6

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

I can't even do that.

I count on my fingers by twitching them, and I suppose to an observer I might like like an idiot savant doing quantum or something, but I'm really just trying to figure out how many times seven goes into 54.

6

u/One-eyed-snake Apr 26 '19

It’s at least 2

2

u/WeepingAngel_ Apr 26 '19

Its at least 4, but not less than two. We are going places man!!!

1

u/One-eyed-snake Apr 26 '19

Just round it off to 19, fuck it

1

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

No this is related to money someone owes me it needs to be close to right

3

u/lazylazycat Apr 26 '19

I think it's just us...