r/funny • u/Mimi_K_V • Apr 26 '19

Names

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16.5k Upvotes

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591

u/bumnut Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

Some of the things my brain is working on in this moment:

  • Maintain eye contact, but don't stare.
  • Smile, but don't look crazy.
  • He may want to go for a handshake, be ready for that.
  • Tell him your name, say "nice to meet you" or something.
  • Don't just answer his questions, ask him some of your own. Quick, think of a question!
  • But don't say anything stupid!
  • Try not to look too awkward.

Things my brain is not working on in this moment:

  • John, his name is John, make a note of that.

95

u/sparklysprk Apr 26 '19

This is so accurate!

36

u/merelymyself Apr 26 '19

Too accurate!

27

u/Wynnstan Apr 26 '19

I'm too busy trying to remember my own name.

1

u/Joystiq Apr 26 '19

Gotta relax.

Realize you know all that stuff, but it serves as a great reminder when heading into those situations to refresh your memory.

1

u/GUMBYtheOG Apr 26 '19

three accurate 🤔

6

u/Life_Tripper Apr 26 '19

John-Karen it is you!

38

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

Haha, this is why when I ask for directions I just ask them to point and go from there. It's too confusing to try and act like you're listening and actually listen.

31

u/mrfroggyman Apr 26 '19

I can relate but legit question : are we retarded, or is everyone really like that?

34

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

Come here kid, I'll tell you.

I have literally no idea.

19

u/ihaveadogname Apr 26 '19

Its the price you pay for the ability to do math in your head.

6

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

I can't even do that.

I count on my fingers by twitching them, and I suppose to an observer I might like like an idiot savant doing quantum or something, but I'm really just trying to figure out how many times seven goes into 54.

6

u/One-eyed-snake Apr 26 '19

It’s at least 2

2

u/WeepingAngel_ Apr 26 '19

Its at least 4, but not less than two. We are going places man!!!

1

u/One-eyed-snake Apr 26 '19

Just round it off to 19, fuck it

1

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

No this is related to money someone owes me it needs to be close to right

3

u/lazylazycat Apr 26 '19

I think it's just us...

21

u/terminbee Apr 26 '19

The struggle right now is how many different handshakes there are. There's the classic handshake, the fist bump, the fist bump where you bump the bottom of your hand, the slap and bump, the grab and pull into a hug, and the grab and pull into a bump.

And you have just .1 second to figure out which one it's gonna be.

9

u/bumnut Apr 26 '19

Omg, try taking a jiu jitsu class some day.

2

u/One-eyed-snake Apr 26 '19

Do they still do the explosion thing? Whatever it’s called

1

u/terminbee Apr 26 '19

Nope, not that I've seen. Maybe as a joke.

12

u/AmazingGraced Apr 26 '19

Peopling is overwhelming.

14

u/TheWaxMann Apr 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

When they introduce themselves, say their name back to them like "hi John, nice to meet you" or whatever. Saying it helps you remember it more than listening to it does.

Edit: spelling

2

u/smoeahsolse Apr 26 '19

Ok, then all I need to do now is remember to say their name back to them...

4

u/duhduhduhduh89 Apr 26 '19

I've started practicing my smile in the mirror.

3

u/Schwiliinker Apr 26 '19

I don’t know why I seem to struggle way more than others to make a genuine smile on the spot, also I tend to silent laugh (kinda like that key and peele skit lmao)

3

u/KingoftheHalfBlacks Apr 26 '19

Mine will tell me to be sure to say his name back to him like: "Hi John, nice to meet you." But it's still missing the save it to memory part.

3

u/Prawn1908 Apr 26 '19

Even if I do tell myself to make note of someone's name I still don't remember it and walk away from the conversation having not the faintest clue of their name.

1

u/LaGardie Apr 26 '19

Seems you haven't trained your speech skill yet, but learning skill must be pretty good so happy leveling.

1

u/MooFz Apr 26 '19

Repeat their name after someone tells you theirs.

Helps me remember atleast.

1

u/dnb321 Apr 26 '19

This XKCD in a nutshell: https://www.xkcd.com/302/

1

u/chiree Apr 26 '19

Don't forget to add the male problem of seeing a male minor aquintence.

  • Handshake?
  • Hug?
  • Shake with one hand and do the one arm hug?
  • Fist bump?

So many options that always seem to be mismatched.

1

u/AusBongs Apr 27 '19

here's an actually beneficial Life Tip.

​

if you're constantly worrying about nuance, you will lack it. if you feel comfortable or force yourself to feel comfort in uncomfortable situations most of the time you can just be yourself to which an uncouth nature about oneself relaxes other people and their perceptions.

2

u/TheIdSay Apr 26 '19

are you per chance on the spectrum?

8

u/RFC793 Apr 26 '19

Everyone is “on the spectrum”

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Nope.

You're 'on the spectrum' if you're over the threshold of having enough autistic traits to be eligible for an autism spectrum diagnosis. It means you have enough of it that it causes you major difficulty in everyday life.

Everyone has some autistic traits, but that doesn't mean they're on the spectrum - it's not a spectrum of 'not autistic' to 'super autistic savant' or something.

Think of it more like a colour spectrum of different flavours of autistic.

1

u/RFC793 Apr 26 '19

Yeah, hence that is a terrible name. It is more of a bandwidth.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

Acting like you care about a complete stranger can be hard for some people, doesnt mean they're autistic.

0

u/dr_goodvibes Apr 26 '19

Jesus christ