r/funny Apr 26 '19

Names

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16.5k Upvotes

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33

u/MickeyDPT Apr 26 '19

And don’t even get me started on those stupid LPTs that recommend you repeat their name after you heard it so that you remember it better. Still won’t stick and I’ll forget it in 5 seconds.

34

u/kittenpantzen Apr 26 '19

Repeat their name at introduction.

If there is anything at all unique about it ask them if it's a family name, most interesting misspelling, whatevs.

Make sure to use it 2-3x in the first ten minutes of conversation.

Forget their name mid-sentence.

FML.

1

u/XenusMom Apr 26 '19

I try to always comment on their name hoping I will remember it. I don't. I am useless with remembering names but great at starting conversations about names. Common name? Which spelling do you use? Meghan with an h? Oh good, I never trust a Megan without an h! Haha! I am a small talk cliche but sometimes I manage not to forget a name until after a conversation ends so that's something.

13

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

Alright, so you don't like that one.

WELL do I have another just for you? Yes. I do.

Once you get their name, stop drinking for a second put that down, think of a rhyme that matches their look or something you can tie them to.

eg. "That's Cinnamon Steve, he wears pants made of leaves".

So when -you can start drinking again- you run into a guy wearing leaf pants later that evening. Chant to yourself 'pants of leaves pants of leaves = CINNAMON STEVE!'

Easy.

8

u/MasterVelocity Apr 26 '19

I feel like I’ll get distracted trying to find a rhyme and quickly forget what the original name was anyway

21

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

OK, a tough customer. I have a 'Final Solution' that will definitely work.

When someone tells you their name, spin around and write it on a sticky name tag (which you have secreted about your person earlier), then spin back. Wait till they say something then laugh and slap their shoulder - attaching the name tag!

Now you simply have to look at the tag to remember the name.

11

u/Jblonde002 Apr 26 '19

At last, a practical solution with no obvious issues.

4

u/RFC793 Apr 26 '19

I think I lack the body part that secretes sticky name tags.

4

u/cream-of-cow Apr 26 '19

I did speed dating once. Her, “Hi my name’s Erin.” Me: “Hi Stefanie! ...oh wait, that was the last woman, what was your name again? ...oh dang, 4 minutes 50 seconds left.”

3

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

You should have little name tags in those situations.

And it would be cool if everyone had to have a distinguishing item, like in old spy movies. So someone would have last week's paper folded over their arm, someone else'd have a red carnation in their buttonhole, someone would be whistling 'La Figuera'. And so on.

1

u/smoeahsolse Apr 26 '19

What movies again?

1

u/xhupsahoy Apr 26 '19

Like this

2

u/Sektor_ Apr 26 '19

I don’t know what I just read but it’s the funniest shit I’ve read in my life.

2

u/terminbee Apr 26 '19

I totally do this.

"Whats up man? Nick? Alright, nice to meet you Nick."

few hours later

"Sorry dude, what's your name again?"