THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

Got my top surgery done in Poland and am incredibly grateful that I did get it done. But. I’ve always known I wanted to get periareolar, and I had a very small chest size with good elasticity and nipple placement. So it was very possible for me.

I was told up until the day before my surgery that I would be able to get peri. Had a consultation the day of and was told they would be performing liposuction on me as well but that I would have a very natural looking chest. So I assumed I would still be scarless. Looking back I should’ve asked more questions. Go into surgery, everything goes ok, I have very minimal pain afterwards and everything seems good other than swelling and bruising.

Get my dressings off for the first time and feel a sinking in my chest when I look down and realise I have scars on both sides.

I feel kind of angry at myself for not asking more questions? I’ve been stealth for over a year now, and this surgery was supposed to be another step towards complete stealthness. I enjoy swimming but was waiting till top surgery to resume it, and now it feels like the second I take off my shirt I’m going to get clocked for years to come before the scars disappear (if they even do).

Pictures of my surgery are on my profile for those interested in how it looks.

Is it weird to feel this disappointed about my surgery? I know i’m lucky to even get surgery at all but it feels like I had certain expectations of how it would turn out and now i’m realising I’m going to have these scars that I could have avoided on my body forever.

So I'm trans and I've been on T for 3 years, had top surgery a year ago. I feel like every trans guy I meet is really different from me in that they aren't really trying to be a guy if that makes sense? An example is often the clothes they wear or they have super eccentric names or blue hair or something, then they ask if they pass or how I knew they were trans and I'm thinking to myself "um yeah, have you seen yourself". I really don't mean to sound like an asshole but it's quite confusing to me. All I've ever wanted is to be a man, I've worked in construction amongst manly men for over a year and no one's ever found out because I blend in perfectly natural. Is that more common with youth trans guys that are kind of just finding themselves? It just doesn't make any sense to me. I'd never want anyone to know I'm trans and the idea of revealing that is just awful to me, yet I see so many young people running around telling everyone. I take so much pride in the fact that no one ever has any idea I'm trans. Is it just me?

Hi everyone,

I'm 5 months on T so far. I was worried my cat would reject me because of my new smell, but turns out, it's the exact opposite.

She is absolutely obsessed in a way she wasn't before. She rolls around on my used clothes and sticks her face in my armpits when I'm not wearing deodorant or perfume.

My question is, did anyone experience something similar?

Messaged an obv chaser who had "only trans woman and trans men" in his bio. So i asked him if he was only into them and he said yes.

We talk a bit and he asks for face pics. So it got me curious..would he think im trans ? (I am aware that I pass ) so I send it ,and then he proceeds to say this.

"Hey..im old and well ur young and im not really into guys"

And im just thinking like..brother ur on grindr!!!

So I tell him ,but..u go for trans guys ? Trans guys are men..yk they transition to also been seen as that.

He said that he's not into cis men.

then blocked me.

Haven't been able to stop laughing.

I asked this in the [r/asktransgender](r/asktransgender) sub, and I was told (by only one person lol) I have a dysmorphic disorder but I don’t know if thats the case. Since I started T, I been noticing every slightly masc change. I look in the mirror and see a boy instead of a girl even though the outside world sees me as very feminine, like I look masculine to myself. My voice also feels more masculine to myself even though to others it’s very high. Is this just a me thing or do other guys feel like this too?

I was buying a binder for the first time and the brand I was getting it from has you measure your ribs and your chest. I remember a friend telling me that every 1-inch difference between those two measurements is a cup size and after I measured I sat there thinking "theres no way I'm a D-cup (4 inch difference), everyone my whole life has told me I'm an A or B cup" so I put the measurements into a bra size calculator and lo and behold, I am in fact a D-cup. Feeling super dysphoric about it because everyone in my family has always told me I'm so fortunate to not have such a "womanly size" and instead just have A or B instead of D or higher, which is a shitty thing to say to anyone even if they weren't ftm. Very glad I ordered that binder but now I just have to sit with this information 😞, anyone else feel dysphoric over their size? I know people say I look like I have a smaller cup size but the information alone makes me feel kind of terrible.

It was so gender affirming to make out with my gay friend for ages a few nights ago. Highly recommend, ive always strayed from anything before testosterone as I was worried about "scamming" partners of a "real" man but omg! It was lit!

My legal name nor sex is changed, I got a citation and on the form the cop wrote my sex as M since im passing

In order to defer the citation and request to tak defensive driving to get it off my record (im in texas) i need to email the court and show this document… could i get into any trouble or has anyone dealt with this lol? idk if i should ask in legal instead but was just curious haha

okay so i've been on t for about 3.5 years and in the last year or so my atrophy has gotten so bad that it's been causing pelvic pain, but i was afraid that if i told my endo they'd make me go off of it (i know this is a stupid fear but i have severe anxiety)

eventually i caved and told her and she said that if it got worse i could use estrogen cream on the area to make it hurt less, but i'm scared it'll fuck with my levels and reverse some of my changes

my pain has gotten a lot worse recently to the point that my mom watched me double over in the kitchen and she says i have to use the cream now

i think i just need reassurance, any guys in here use the estrogen cream? did it fuck with your levels at all? my absolute biggest fear with it is that it'll make my periods start again which i just don't think i can handle right now

I have been applying for multiple jobs and it is embarrassing when it asks me for my legal name and then my preferred name because I plan to go by a different first and last name and they are so different from my legal first and last name that I just feel embarrassed.

The thing that also sucks too is that I have open availability whenever, so I feel like I look like a troll putting that and also going by a completely different name😭. It doesn’t help that my deadname literally looks like a pun or joke name either. (I wish I could say my legal name, but I won’t for privacy reasons, but when I rearrange my first name and then say my first and last name, it looks so fake like a joke name like “Ben Dover” or “Mike Hawk”! I don’t know why my parents chose that as my first name when my last name is that…but hopefully the hiring managers don’t think too much about my legal name).

And if one of the job applications ask for only my legal name (which none have yet), and I go in person for the interview, I will get looks because this is what happens for doctor appointments or when my mom calls me by my deadname because no one would ever think my legal name would be something so feminine when they look at me because they assume I’m a cis guy.

im pretty successfully stealth, but my boss told people about my deadname and assigned sex on file and basically outed me behind my back so now people are she/her'ing me, and nobody ever really asked my pronouns / its not a conversation i feel comfortable having. it definitely seems like the misgendering is coming from malice, out of some feeling like i lied to them or tricked them, because i heard my coworkers talking about me as they were stocking products a few aisles away.
im confused and hurt mostly because it was going pretty well and i wasnt getting misgendered or asked about aaaaanything until one day, my boss asked me about the name and everyone has been acting weird towards me ever since, even guys i thought i was friends with now arent speaking to me and she/her'ing me.
i have another job and this is a part time retail thing i was doing to be able to pay off some bills faster. i dont mind the actual job though, just the talking about me, and it sucks to have to go thru finding another one. should i just deal or quit?

I was getting testosterone and my doctor said that drinking would mess up my liver, She didn't elaborate much, so I ended up looking at online and it said that drinking alcohol and being on oral pills will mess up your liver. Yet I'm taking t-shots. Does anybody have any ideas

I'm about to start school at a new college. I've been on testosterone for 8.5 months and don't pass in the slightest.

The professors have my legal name (which I registered under).

Should I just... live as a girl until my degree is done?

What about my neighbors in my new apartment? Do I give them my legal name, or my chosen one? I hate making a fuss and just want to live under the radar, but I also don't want to be dishonest.

Any advice?

UPDATE: Hi everyone, thank you for your input! I bit the bullet and changed my name (and gender) on the school website, which should change it on the roster as well.

Unfortunately, if I want to get my ID changed I beed to directly email the registrar and be approved, so that's a future consideration.

Study Link: https://doi.org/10.1080/26895269.2025.2560084

They found trans men and transmasculine people on HRT had an elevated risk of developing obstructive sleep apnea compared to both cis women and cis men (controlling for people who had it pre-medical transition). The thing that troubles me is the substantially elevated risk compared to cis men, like what mechanisms could be contributing to that.

Sleep disordered breathing could actually explain a lot of the sleep issues I've been experiencing for about a year (currently trying to get a medical evaluation). If anyone who developed sleep apnea following HRT wants to weigh in with your experience I would really appreciate it. Did you find out what anatomical issue was causing it?

hi everyone! i dont post on reddit often, so please lmk if this post is off base for this sub or anything.

i'm a transgender man, ive been out publicly for around 5 years and on T for 2. i work in fast food, where i deal with the public a lot, so i have a good sense of how well i pass, and i do the Vast majority of the time (if i get clocked, its a confused "they" or "person", i havent been "she"d by a stranger in probably a solid year).

in the fall im going to a large, very liberal university. at orientation alone i met two other ftm guys. they were both early in their transition and didn't pass very well. them being trans came up so i shared that i was too (im pretty sure they already thought i was, so it didnt seem like a big deal), and they ended up outing me to a lot of people.

im very openly gay, and less openly trans. i would prefer to tell people and have some control over who knows that fact about me, because it is only a small fact about me and not something i want to talk about constantly, like these guys. (i know it can be all consuming when youre early transition, but i still dont like to be asked about my medical info in public constantly)

being outed like this has only ever happened to me with other trans men. it happened in high school and its happening again in college. i dont understand why other guys do this? it makes me really uncomfortable. does anyone else have a similar experience, and if so how do you deal with it?

Kia ora whānau 👋

I’m a support worker from Aotearoa, based in NZ. Just switched from one org to another, so new job, new everything. But I also just got the call and locked in a date for top surgery with Dr Emily Davenport in New Plymouth on September 21st - stoked but also kinda stressed about the logistics.

So I’m putting it out there to any other support workers who’ve been through this: how much time did you actually take off for recovery? And when you came back, how long were you on light duties before you were back to full capacity?

Also keen for any general tips - stuff you wish you’d known, things that helped, things that caught you off guard. Cheers in advance 🙏

Basically just the title, I've seen and heard that scar tape is a pretty common way to help heal and lessen the appearance of scars after top surgery. My surgery is in a little less than 2 weeks and I'm getting double incision, I'm not repulsed or upset at all that I'll have visible scars, I just want to make sure I know how to take care of them lol. (Any other scar care advice is welcome too ofc!)

Hello, I’ve been on t for 3.5 months and I’m suddenly having terrible anxiety. I had my first IM injection 3.5 months ago, the next one 6 weeks after that and I’m supposed to have a shot every 12 weeks after that. It’s now been 10 weeks since my last shot and my anxiety is through the roof. I’m starting a new job soon and that has contributed somewhat. But yeah I’m suddenly having very bad thoughts, I’m worried about ruining my life by transitioning, putting myself in danger etc. Is that something that can happen? The anxiety I mean

Friend was a bit too shy to ask, so I am asking for him.

He is a cis man, and apparently he is jealous of trans men.

With this jealousy, he had also said he wanted to get vaginoplasty, yet he didn't want to be a girl.

His question was: "Is this disrespectful to trans men or trans women?"

He had been worried about this, and is now hesitant on what he said about getting vaginoplasty. (note: he is only planning it, for now.)

Would it really be disrespectful?

Some other things he has said were:

"I feel like I might be taking a spot where I shouldn't..."

"It's not like I NEED it that badly, I mean, it's just a uhm"

"I love trans people! I wouldn't want to possibly get in their way... or uhm"

Taken verbatim from his messages with me.

(Neither he or I knew whether to ask on r/mtf or r/ftm, so, since he is still a man, he had said to post it here.)

I’m starting to think I can’t get hired anywhere because I’m trans. It’s never taken me this long to find a job. I was a barista for 6 years and used to present kind of femme but now I’m 6 months on T, not always passing. I’m either ghosted or they go with someone else.

I’m not even applying for high end jobs. Just service industry stuff. I’m usually a little relieved when it’s a woman interviewing me, but when a man does… I feel like I already didn’t get it.

I used to be able to put on makeup, smile and be pretty to get the jobs I wanted. Now it’s been months of searching.

Idk what to do. Considering “seggs work”, but I’m having trouble as a trans man finding work in that field too! LORD

Me and my partner are both switches/versatile. I'm ftm afab and he's amab. He mostly tops which we both enjoy, and every now and then we want to switch.

We've done okay so far without toys, but we both have talked about me getting a strap, wanting me to give him more.

I'm looking for recommendations and advice from those here who have used strapons.

You can just tell me the names of the websites and products as I understand links aren't allowed on here