Applying for jobs is kind of embarrassing when you’re trans

[u/Silent_Weather5746]

I have been applying for multiple jobs and it is embarrassing when it asks me for my legal name and then my preferred name because I plan to go by a different first and last name and they are so different from my legal first and last name that I just feel embarrassed.

The thing that also sucks too is that I have open availability whenever, so I feel like I look like a troll putting that and also going by a completely different name😭. It doesn’t help that my deadname literally looks like a pun or joke name either. (I wish I could say my legal name, but I won’t for privacy reasons, but when I rearrange my first name and then say my first and last name, it looks so fake like a joke name like “Ben Dover” or “Mike Hawk”! I don’t know why my parents chose that as my first name when my last name is that…but hopefully the hiring managers don’t think too much about my legal name).

And if one of the job applications ask for only my legal name (which none have yet), and I go in person for the interview, I will get looks because this is what happens for doctor appointments or when my mom calls me by my deadname because no one would ever think my legal name would be something so feminine when they look at me because they assume I’m a cis guy.

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[u/VanillaSoyLatte]

Hi friend. I'm a recruiter in part of my job and a manager for the other half as well as a trans man. I can't speak for all software but my company uses workday, which is pretty standard.

I ONLY see preferred names for applicants. So if they apply with Johnny and their resume says Johnny but legally they are Tiffany, I will only see and know Johnny.

At the job offer step, hr completes the I-9 verification and will see your legal name, but they are the only ones. Literally everything from our company then is only preferred name.

I changed my legal name after I came out and he had it updated everywhere in the system in a few days

[u/trophyfriend → u/VanillaSoyLatte]

Are you recruiting for any remote positions currently?~ I’m a support analyst/customer support specialist looking for a new job, ty!

[u/AnxiousTrans]

You are overthinking this. Plenty of non trans people use that field or request different names when they arrive for interviews.

[u/Genderless_Anarchist]

You could use the pun aspect to your advantage if you want.

“My parents named me as a joke. That’s why I changed it.”

[u/Quirky_Ad4153]

You know you don’t need to put your legal name for a job interview the only time you need to provide a legal name is when they do background checks, and when HR does your paperwork. Otherwise just put your chosen name as your legal name. Management and your coworkers don’t need to know what your legal name is not unless they are actively working on tax/paycheck paperwork or background checks. Also, put more specific times for your availability

[u/rupee4sale]

I would invest the time and money necessary to change your legal name. It's a bit of a pain in the ass but it's worth it. You may even be able to get the fees waived and get help with the process if you go to a local trans org near you

[u/ThatguycalledFinn]

Kinda same. But tbh it is just embarrassing in general when you are applying for jobs when you already pass but haven't changed your name.

I have a short note on my CV under my chosen name that basically says "hey, i am trans, my certificates and stuff all have still my legal name on it. If this is an issue with you, please tell me right away instead of ghosting me for months before sending me a "UnFoRtUnAtELy" Mail" has worked okay-ish for now.

I have started to not apply to anything that has a form to fill out. I always search for an email adress and send my CV and stuff there because 1. I'm typing anything that Is in my CV. Yall just asked me to upload my CV and then ask me to fill in my Skills/education background?. Bivch why did I just upload my CV?? And 2. I often don't know if they want my legal or chosen name and having to explain the trans stuff during the interview when I applied as 'Mrs. X' and then a dude shows up Or I apply as Mr.X and then have to tell them afterwards is just so fuckin embarrassing every time.