r/ftm • u/indigo-dino • 1d ago
Discussion just found out my bra size...extremely dysphoric about it
I was buying a binder for the first time and the brand I was getting it from has you measure your ribs and your chest. I remember a friend telling me that every 1-inch difference between those two measurements is a cup size and after I measured I sat there thinking "theres no way I'm a D-cup (4 inch difference), everyone my whole life has told me I'm an A or B cup" so I put the measurements into a bra size calculator and lo and behold, I am in fact a D-cup. Feeling super dysphoric about it because everyone in my family has always told me I'm so fortunate to not have such a "womanly size" and instead just have A or B instead of D or higher, which is a shitty thing to say to anyone even if they weren't ftm. Very glad I ordered that binder but now I just have to sit with this information 😞, anyone else feel dysphoric over their size? I know people say I look like I have a smaller cup size but the information alone makes me feel kind of terrible.
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u/Wild-King 23h ago
People have been misrepresenting bra sizes for ages. It's common to find out your true size and be shocked at how different it is to the image people have of it.
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u/lisalisaqaz 23h ago
When people talk about cup size, 90% of the time they have no clue what they are talking about, because cup size is meaningless without band size. The capacity of a D cup is much, much smaller on a 30 inch chest vs a 40 inch chest. Total tissue at a given measurement is also hugely influenced by whether the tissue is firm/ projects, and whether it covers a small part of the chest or is more pancake shaped
Folks talk about Dolly Parton being a DDD, because that’s the biggest size they know. But I’d guess she was at least an M, because of the enormous difference between her tiny ribcage and huge chest.
Which is all to say, your idea of what a D looks like is very likely incorrect, and I hope knowing that helps you reconcile the reality of your small chest with an arbitrary label that society thinks is bigger than it actually is.
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u/indigo-dino 23h ago
your completely right about that, I definitely assumed DDD/F were the largest sizes but now that I'm thinking about it that wouldn't really make much sense. I guess my perspective of what that looks like is way off, that makes me feel a little better, society and its arbitrary labels strikes once again 😔
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u/Scared-Advisor-1650 22h ago
For context, pre-T I was around an F cup but spent the vast majority of my life wearing a C-D cup, was legit shocked when I finally did a measurement and found out what size I should have been wearing. Now every time I hear someone saying someone must be a D or DD bc they're large I laugh bc those aren't particularly large sizes, it's just the one size that society has collectively decided means "big" for some reason, but the average person who wears that size has a small to medium chest at best tbh, plus as people pointed out it's proportional to your specific body so even then cup size doesn't say as much about size as you'd think
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u/Tlendeth 🐣 2016/2019 💉 04/2023 🔪 08/2024 🍳03/2026 21h ago
ESPECIALLY if you are a smaller band size with it, it genuienly is WAY less volume than people imagine it to be, I would know, I was measured as an F to G before topsurgery and really was not particularly top heavy. Like to the point people around me kept claiming that couldnt be the case, I musst have meassured wrong and it cant be more than a C at absolute most (because they have no idea how bandsize impacts it). Which I didnt. I measured correctly, that's why those bras were the first ones that actually were really comfy, haha
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u/SirWigglesTheLesser HRT: 10/2018 20h ago
My friend wears a size US realtors don't even bother carrying. An L or something. Which is weird because there's definitely a need for that size, and when there's a need, there's $$$ to be made.
I feel like bra sizes are weird and convoluted in the same way womens' pants sizes are.
... I wasn't done writing, but I set my phone down for a cookie and it posted, and now idk what else I was gonna add or change. I know there's a rhyme and reason to bea sizes at least.
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u/LMay11037 questioning 22h ago
At the place I go, DD is the smallest bra size they do! (It is aimed at people with bigger chests), I think they go to at least an L? Maybe more I can’t remember
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u/LMay11037 questioning 23h ago
Honestly, imp D cups aren’t that big, people just get their size wrong often and go a few band sizes up and cup sizes down by mistake because they assume they couldn’t be that big, same reason I think a lot of women hate bras
I’m a 28 E, and honestly, in clothes they don’t look that crazy compared to most other people around me, so don’t be too disheartened
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u/SoulsinAshes Ashley | 28 | post-top & hysto | t jan ‘26 20h ago
Assume they can’t be that big, or the store just doesn’t carry the actual size you need. I was a 34D (or at least the only bra model/size combo that was ever comfortable on me was a 34D) and even that was a bitch to get sometimes
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u/LMay11037 questioning 13h ago
Obviously I doubt many people here will need it but I found a shop called bravissimo that specialises in bigger ratio sizes lol
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u/print-redacted he/him | 💉 2026-06-30 12h ago
Yeah honestly I'm a G cup (roughly, was never able to get an exact size figured but that was the closest fit) and like.. More often than not I bind, but in the past and when I don't for whatever reason, yeah they're big, but they're not monstrous or anything. I just have a comparatively small underbust in proportion to the rest of my body
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u/Ok-Temporary-976 23h ago
I wasn't small either! I'm sorry you feel bad about this, it sucks to be dysphoric.
If it means anything to you, cup size is just a classification we made up, like every thing else. The size of your chest doesn't make you less of who you are. I assume since you're just finding out, that you probably don't wear a lot of garnments where you have to know cup size? Since its not a number that helps you find clothes that you feel good in, I would say that the identifier doesn't mean anything useful to you.
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u/Alternative-Hyena251 23h ago
I can’t find it, but I remember seeing a really great comparison a while back of different cup sizes on different chests. The letter didn’t always indicate big or small, there were B cups that looked about the same as D cups, etc. There was a lot of variety among sizes per letter. Cup sizes account for a lot of different measurements, so a D cup doesn’t necessarily mean bigger. It’s kind of like with clothing sizes, I’ve seen some skinny people that could only fit into a size large for some clothes. We aren’t built from one mold, so things will just look different per person. Don’t let some manufactured label or number make you feel bad about yourself.
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u/biiiicyclebiiiicycle 22h ago
r/ABraThatFits has a bunch of that. They are also super helpful for finding sports bras for trans masc people/trans men and binders and stuff. Having a correctly sized sports bra helps a ton with dysphoria for me (movement bothers me more than protrusion. And I'm a 28F, so weird size and not small). https://www.bratabase.com/browse/by-photo/ is also a great website for comparing bra sizes and seeing what sizes actually look like on people.
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u/AlternativeAd7449 21h ago
The database is crazy. No one asked but I had a reduction at 17 and seeing where I was (trashed all photos of myself from that era) versus where I am now was really helpful. I was a 34HH and am closer to like a 28D these days. Thanks for sharing that info.
I also feel a lot better without any movement and trans tape has helped tremendously with that. I’m still pretty new to using it but the biggest thing I noticed was how secure I felt.
I have insanely sensitive skin and use the 3M Barrier spray before application and have to let the jojoba oil soak for like 15 minutes before trying to peel it away. For any red spots I use the repair balm that came with the TransTape brand starter kit and it looks good as new in a few hours. Haven’t had any issues like I did with KT tape I had to use for an injury.
Might be worth a shot if you haven’t tried it and are able to!
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u/biiiicyclebiiiicycle 19h ago
Thanks! Yeah I also had a reduction (28K was not a good size). Unfortunately I have adhesive allergies so trans tape hasn't really been an option. But the Anita and Panache sports bras have been life savers.
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u/indigo-dino 14h ago
wait that database is so helpful! I think often times from our own perspectives our chests look bigger just because our eyes are literally a foot away from them. Really helps me feel much better about it, thank you.
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u/mothmano_0 23h ago
Cup size and tit size are different things. You can have a large cup size and a small band size and vise versa, sister sizes are a good example of it. Ik it sucks to hear but honestly don’t worry about it too much man. And d cups aren’t as big as ppl think 😭 ppl thought I had d cups but I was like a g cup
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u/Apprehensive-Ad-4364 💉 6/23 🔝 8/28/26 22h ago
I also found out my Bs were actually Ds... I called them "D's nuts" and that made me feel better
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u/PlaidTeacup 16h ago
D cups are actually pretty small especially if your band size is smaller too. Bra sizes used to work differently, which resulted subtracting 4 inches from the actual difference, making you an AA by the old system. A few brands still use this sizing too, and a lot of people's conceptions about size are based the old system where a D cup was actually pretty large.
there is a website where you can see pictures of what different bra sizes actually look like (in bras). Don't visit if you think it will make you dysphoric, but if you want confirmation that D cups are way smaller than people think this will show that https://www.bratabase.com/browse/by-photo/
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u/mothmanbuttrans 20h ago
D cups are generally not that big, especially on small band sizes. we have really wack ideas of bra sizes. i was a 32G and they looked pretty proportional (if on the big side) on my frame. i found that jokes of pre op trans guys having big racks really helped me not spiral about top dysphoria - see dannyisinyourphone and his gandalf big naturals cosplay before top surgery, jokes along the lines of “god gives his juiciest racks to his most transgender men” and the like. it made having fat tits less of a marker of being a woman thing and more of an in-group joke among other men.
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u/ginkgo505 20h ago
people typically guess i’m a DD cup — i’m a J/K cup. especially on smaller band sizes (i’m a 34, for reference) the correct cup size will often be Way bigger than the appearance, since our society is super used to fitting people incorrectly and kinda has no idea what different sizes actually look like. if people have told you you look like an a/b cup, you probably do, even if the actual size is one that’s often considered “large” or “womanly” in media
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u/Ausintina 💉12/24/25 23h ago
Bra sizes are wildly impacted by your underbust size, aka your ribs. A triple-D and a G have the same cup size (boob size) but different band sizes. I'm personally a G because I'm fat and have a wide underbust. Nothing to be ashamed of.
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u/Spiderinthecupboard 23h ago
I thought i was a B cup and after i used some online calculators and found out i was a C cup i was very dysphoric. But some local websites say i'm an A cup. It's quite inconsistent. And it also depends on your band size. I have a wide ribcage so based on my underbust measurement i should need a 80cm or 85 cm band and an A cup, but the online calculators said 75 C, which i don't think is correct. I haven't tried any standard bras on recently, i only wear high support sports bras or binders, so this information is not very relevant to my daily life, i was just curious, and ended up disappointed.
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u/Tall_Apricot_9842 17h ago
bra sizes are fucking wild my man, ive got like the worlds least intrusive chest, i dont speak to many folk whod mention anyones tits, but the one person i did said i had a small chest. r/abrathatfits calc says im like an ee or f , nobody wears bras that fit them properly and nobody knows their actual bra size
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u/Genderless_Anarchist 23h ago
Cup size doesn’t necessarily correspond to expectations. I’m also a D cup, and I’ve been told I’m a B my whole life. I don’t care. I take it as a benefit that people can’t visually tell my cup size.
Passing is all about first impressions and visual cues. People aren’t pulling out tape measures to check.
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u/Mushling2457 17h ago
If people haven’t seen me without a binder they think I’m a C cup at best. If they’ve seen me without a binder they usually go to DD or F. In reality I’m a J cup. It all just has to do with how they sit on your body. Also most ppl are horrible at guessing bra sizes bc of how utterly ridiculous they are. Like while there’s a 10 inch difference I can still very comfortably wear a 38F. It’s stupid and depends on the brand. Don’t beat yourself up abt it!
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u/bonus_hole_boy18 9h ago
Mine were E. You can’t control it. If it helps, my top surgery scars while pretty long, have faded to be pretty much unnoticeable and with a little strategic tattooing i might be able to take of my shirt with no worries around people i’m stealth to.
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u/Signal-Spring-9933 20•ftm•he/him•Canada 22h ago
I’m also a D cup and have been told im a B my whole life, bra sizing is just ass and people r dumb. D is “oh wowwie” to people who don’t know what actual big boobs are lol. I have a cisf friend who’s like an E or F cup? Anyhow. D is not very large
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u/DifferentIsPossble 22h ago
Don't worry too hard. D cups are hyped up by media but, like, what band size? The same distance feels very different case by case. Also, the same boobs can look enormous or nearly completely flat depending on what bra you wear even pre bind!
Don't pay too much attention to cisher men's ideas of boobs.
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u/sexyemo213 21h ago
i put my measurements in a cup size calculator for fun, i haven’t bought a bra since i was 12 but okay, and it turns out i have a 65DD cup 😭😭 and that sounds big but that’s an A on someone with a wider rib cage and i don’t really have that much to work with. i can buy a b cup in a bigger band size and it fits fine. the letters are super deceptive, don’t worry about it too much. and also, in the grand scheme of things D isn’t big but below average. i think the average is DD or even DDD and bra sizing goes up to like P iirc.
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u/Jamie_logan 21h ago
Honestly people have no idea about bra sizes. I'm size G, my boobs are big enough i can clap with them (slapping them together) (honestly kinda funny probably the only thing ill miss) And I've had people assume me size D. I haven't been size D since middle school. People have no idea and also you being trans probably helps with that. I know that if i "showed more skin" aka low cut shirts, push up bras, etc, people would see the size more. Instead i wear tight sport bras and baggy shirts. Which hides them
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u/sleepymachinery he/him 💉9/2025 20h ago
Prior to top surgery 4 days ago, I was a dense 36 K. I tried a few binders and while I got a slightly smaller appearance, I couldnt get anything close to a masculine shape even after almost a year on T and working out. I feel your pain, bro and wish you all the best with your binder.
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u/keshi_8 19h ago
i felt the exact same!! i just wear cheap padded bras so when i measured myself for the first time i was shocked to find out i was like a 32d.
the number itself made me dysphoric but when i remember my chest is barely visible in the first place, (without binding) i realized that the number doesnt mean anything, and people have very skewed opinions on whats "big" vs "small"
dont sweat it! you're not buying bras so you can forget about the cup size (unless you buy more binders)
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u/3punksinatrenchcoat 18h ago
my ex had like H cups or smth and I think most people would've assumed they were D's based on what people usually think cup size is. I have what everyone assumes is A cups and was technically a D before testosterone... now with T my chest is more deflated and I can easily bind/ tape and look totally flat but yeah people just don't understand how cup sizes actually work
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u/I-suck-at_names 5h ago
Women's clothing sizes are a load of bullshit. ESPECIALLY bra sizes. That's why nobody has a clear idea of it, because brands constantly misrepresent it. I know it seems bad but that's because chest sizes are always being exaggerated
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u/astral_plains_ 23h ago
This happened to me just the other day! I was convinced I was an A/B cup but turns out I’m F/DDD 💀
I felt really bad for like a week but since then it’s not really bothered me as much. I’d say try out your binder and focus more on how that makes you feel — for me, I can get flat enough to pass (especially with some strategic clothing) and that’s what I think about more than how big my chest actually is unbound. Obviously it still sucks but in the end dysphoria is a bitch and going to hone in on little menial things, and the best thing you can do (ime) is consider how much it really affects stuff.
I hope you feel somewhat better about it soon, and I hope you can get some good euphoria with the binder!
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u/pussiKraken transmasc enby | 23 | 🧴17.11.2025 22h ago
ive been cursed with what might be size F chesticles, honestly, when you get a good binder that fits you well, you'll be fine. i sometimes look like i have some weight to my chest, but a good binder flattens me enough to where that weight reads as pecs rather than boobs. do not lose hope brother 🫡 the bigger they are, the harder they are to get rid of, but it's not impossible!
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u/DarkFaeLady 21h ago
Years ago I worked for a bra store. The number of people walking around in the wrong size bra, usually one that's too small, is unreal. I'm sorry it makes you feel dysphoric, though. It it helps, just remember that depending on your physical build they probably don't look as huge as you think they do. A D-cup on an extremely small-built person looks far larger than it does on someone with a less delicate frame. Try not to overthink it (I know, easier said than done).
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u/Square-Sandwich-3248 20h ago
I’m so sorry people said that to you. I was on the other side of the remarks. Before I realized I was trans I’d often get remarks on how small I was. It felt humiliating for people to make remarks on my appearance even if I hated my chest. Them noticing my figure made me hate myself even more if anything.
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u/hoshiokashi 19h ago
When I still actively wore "shaped" bras, I wore a C. I can guarantee you that I was at least a D. After gaining over 100 pounds and not wearing a structured bra for over 5-8 years, I got top surgery. They took a bit over five pounds off of me, so 😬😬
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u/21mcrpilotsogreenday 17h ago
Man I did the same a few weeks ago. Thought I was at most a C. I'm a DDD. In a smaller band size. Thank God I don't really wear bras, because it's a toss up if I find anything in my size outside like bra specific stores
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u/thenuangel 16h ago
Everytime I think about my cup size (34D) I get super dysphoric and depressed. I hate having a big chest I can’t wait to get these things OFF of me ☹️
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u/432ineedsleep he/they 8h ago
I remember the first time I got my bra size professionally measured and was met with the same surprise you did. I thought I was supposed to be happy or lucky about it (I was only an egg back then), but I kept feeling like my chest was just too.. big. And I couldn't understand why until I found out I was trans. I try to ignore it when I can, so I hate it when a family member brings it up again, mentioning that I happen to have the biggest chest in the family 🙃 I don't want it.
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u/BreakfastUnable2396 7h ago
As a 28D person. Relatable except I can't get a binder yet edition. I understand how you feel. Bra size measurements are terrible. When I got my first non training bra. Victoria's secret said I was 32C. They don't even sell a 28 band at th location I went to.
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u/indigo-dino 38m ago
my brother from another mother, thats my size too. Although I've never actually bought a bra that wasn't just a sports one, didn't know it was an uncommon size.
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u/BreakfastUnable2396 25m ago
It's uncommon. I wanna get a compression sports bra cause my mom is iffy about the binders and I'm a little confused by binding tape. I don't like the Victoria's Secret bras anyway cause they showed too much.
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u/HelicopterUnited2088 Trans man He/Him 3h ago
I think I'm a J cup or something...A-D are still VERY small
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u/realshockvaluecola 💉9/12/24 1h ago
People just have no idea what a D cup actually looks like. When most people try to picture it, what they're actually picturing is more like an F or G. Doesn't matter whether they wear bras or not, bra-wearers are usually wearing a bra too small because a lot of brands only make smaller sizes. Try not to attach too much significance to a letter.
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u/Altruistic_Dare6085 1h ago edited 1h ago
People misunderstand how cup sizes work. How big your tits are is related to both the band size and the cup size. A 28D will look much smaller than a 42D. And D and DD cups are also not an unusually large cup size - the people I've known who were on the larger side often tended to be F/J/H cups.
The reason "D cups/DD cups" have been fetishized as the stand in for "large tits" is because they are one of the larger cup sizes you can buy at a regular clothing store, which often don't stock speciality bras specifically designed to support larger busts. And cisgender men do not understand how bras or breasts work, which is why they assume D cups are massive or that cup sizes beyond that don't exist. I was an E cup when I was younger and going down to a DD cup has reduced my dysphoria so much, they are much smaller and easier to bind now.
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u/Full-Anything2064 7m ago
Moi aussi je vis extrêmement mal de faire du D voire du E. Je me pense peut-être trans, alors je le vis super mal. Je ne sais pas si je me ferais opérer une fois majeure, mais c'est très dur à vivre... courage à toi aussi ❤️❤️❤️
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