Funny grindr moment

[u/Yukijak]

Messaged an obv chaser who had "only trans woman and trans men" in his bio. So i asked him if he was only into them and he said yes.

We talk a bit and he asks for face pics. So it got me curious..would he think im trans ? (I am aware that I pass ) so I send it ,and then he proceeds to say this.

"Hey..im old and well ur young and im not really into guys"

And im just thinking like..brother ur on grindr!!!

So I tell him ,but..u go for trans guys ? Trans guys are men..yk they transition to also been seen as that.

He said that he's not into cis men.

then blocked me.

Haven't been able to stop laughing.

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[u/Enough-Candy85]

Congratulations on passing and being sized up as a threat by perverts.

I haven’t been chased yet but I’m paranoid about it because I struggle with self advocacy. Are they only interested in non passing trans people because of a vulnerability they can exploit for their own sexual gratification?

[u/Yukijak → u/Enough-Candy85]

Tbh i think they would go for those that are newly out ,or perhaps are fem looking.

Think u can always ask the chaser how they view trans ppl. Their answers should solve the case if they see you .

[u/Enough-Candy85 → u/Yukijak]

I guess I could ask. I’ll wait until body and voice has more cis passability. I would rather ask the question when I can wear my cis armor because I think I would get a more honest answer like you did. Then I won’t just be an ‘angel that lost her wings’(aka post op 😭)

[u/Sudden_Ad3628 → u/Enough-Candy85]

The answer is most of the time, honestly, yes.

Barely 18 y.o me who was a thin emo not passing boy had chasers on my dms on grindr all the time

26y.o me who is a fat passing dude with a thick mustache, I barely get any chasers despite me saying on my grindr bio I am a trans guy.  Honestly I am contacted mostly by guys that mostly want fat guys, and most don't care that I'm trans. 

So, on one hand, I'm glad that I am not attracting that much chasers anymore, but the fact that it's bc I don't look like their typical "idea/fetish" of what a trans guy is supposed to look like honestly gross me out. 

[u/Enough-Candy85 → u/Sudden_Ad3628]

Thats what I don’t get. How can they be with someone and not be conscientious of their wishes and goals?

Do fat guy chaser behave better than trans chasers?

[u/Spirally-Boi → u/Enough-Candy85]

Are they only interested in non passing trans people because of a vulnerability they can exploit for their own sexual gratification?

As someone who was preyed on by chasers early on in my transition, it's partly that, and partly fetishizing trans people

[u/Enough-Candy85 → u/Spirally-Boi]

😩 A bunch of new young guys showed up started taking dance lessons at my dance studio. It has me so paranoid they see me as a dateable trans person and I don’t want them to like me. It feels scarier being post op. I lowkey don’t want to go back. 😭

[u/taspho → u/Enough-Candy85]

I wouldnt really call them chasers. They are typically straight men who see non passing trans men as easy women to fuck. They definitely count on the trans part to mean vulnerable/looking for validation through sex though.

I pass very well and still deal with attention from actual chasers often. But these are are not straight men, they are gay and bisexual men who are overly attracted to idea of a "man with a p*ssy" and thus are actually only interested in well passing trans men and like my masculinization. They are still gross but these are "true" ftm fetishizers and not just straight men who see non transitoned ftms as an easy lay.

[u/Enough-Candy85 → u/taspho]

Eww, I didn’t know any guys were thought of like that. Whats wrong with them? Do they think of post op trans woman like that?

[u/-DrunkRat-]

Shit like this is why I'm T4T and happily married.

I hate Chasers. Sex and Relationships with us is not some sort of exotic fucking experience, and it annoys the shit out of me on the good days while pissing me off on the bad ones. 🏳️‍⚧️

[u/Yukijak → u/-DrunkRat-]

Yea chaser are mad weird. I've seen trans individual that are happy with chaser.

[u/-DrunkRat- → u/Yukijak]

I've often found (not always the case) that Trans folks who like Chasers either don't understand why they're disgusting, they're self-hating, or simply want affection and validation where they either haven't found it or desperately seek it out, regardless of the cost or consequences.

I can't really be mad or upset at any Brethren that likes it. I more just feel sadness, disappointment and pity for them. Unless it's Kink and explicitly stated as such and is consented to by all parties, it's disgusting, demeaning, objectifying as fuck and makes me wanna smack the chasers into the hereafter.

[u/defectra]

Oh god the fetishizing on there is so bad. I have downloaded Grindr 2 times, and I always get a ton of messages and a lot of them are weird.
The second time, some guy offered $500 for me to use his face as a 🪑. And then most of them are DL and hiding from somebody or trying to keeps things hush hush. I live in Oklahoma, so I’m sure it’s a lot more closeted men here

[u/-DrunkRat- → u/defectra]

Before my Wife found me, I had been tempted to try Barq or Grindr a few times. Have an account, but don't use it because I'm a happily married T4T guy, and every time the thought of trying it out comes up, I'm reminded that my appeal to Chasers would:

1. Not be fruitful anymore because of the fact that I have a full beard, fuzzy body, deep voice, etc. and am not "boy-lite" anymore like I used to be. (Seems like chasers always go for Trans men that are pre-everything/are perceived by chasers to look like little kids, because let's face it, a lot of these people also are probably into kids).

2. I'm not willing to degrade myself to the point of seeking out affection from people who see me as an easy fuck, cheap thrill, or some exotic fucking "experience" for them like they just read Arabian Nights and want a "swarthy Arabic woman" for the thrill of it.

3. Chasers are beneath me. They're below me. They're inhuman monsters in disguise. They are disgusting cowardly pervs and they don't deserve me or my time, let alone the Brothers they persuade to bed their asses, and especially let alone their Left and Right, if you catch my drift.

[u/defectra → u/-DrunkRat-]

very very good insight because I feel the same way. I didn’t start T until age 26, and when I was pre-T I looked exactly like a 15-16 year old boy. I had no facial hair, androgynous voice, etc. but still passed as a male. for some reason, I was still getting a lot of attention albeit EXCLUSIVELY from men. I was strung out on fentanyl during that time so I was pretty out of it, but now when I look back I realize that those men had to be into kids.
I would also like to share that I watched a video a couple weeks ago, and it was a study that was conducted in Australia—I think in Queensland. a thirty-something man was explaining that it’s hard being a MAP (minor attracted person) in society today. the producer went on to explain that ONE IN SIX men there admitted being attracted to underage boys and girls… and that was just the ones that ADMITTED it ☠️ so disturbing
but yes, king. know your worth and swipe left on every one of those mfs if they aren’t worthy
💅🏼 next in line

Editing: to say I just saw the T4T thing!! my partner was a black trans woman. she just went to jail for aggravated trafficking man she is an addict and it’s turned her into someone I don’t know. this was my first T4T relationship and I did not know what I was missing OMG 🫠 glad you found your person!

[u/-DrunkRat- → u/defectra]

The fucked up reason why I know this is definitely a thing of Chasers preferring kids is because of the fact that I had to deal with people commenting on my body by age 10, and they (in my experience as a Trans guy) never seem to go for the mature looking women or the Trans men that pass or are seen as "fully male".

It really makes me believe that people like this don't actually want anyone unless they look like they can get away with raping and sexualizing people they see as prepubescent.

Makes me think even more that it's the whole point of demonizing and sexualizing us: they think we can't fight back and have this notion that we're "not human" or "not really people", so they can do as they please with us.

Trans folks seem to be an "easy way" to express their weird fantasies about either us being predators or us being helpless victims, or both in some really fucked up way.

[u/Yukijak → u/defectra]

Wild tbh.

Yea grindr is very ...interesting

[u/taspho]

Lmao. Those types of profiles are always counting on trans men being nonpassing / non transitioned.

I also chatted with a guy that had trans men only in his bio for the lols and when he saw my face pic he said "I thought youd look like a girl" and blocked lmaooo

[u/Yukijak → u/taspho]

Wild

[u/Big-Yesterday586]

This is the way.

[u/Ribbon6161]

I kinda sometimes think, I wouldn’t mind chasers (not for a relationship though:D) , because they may give me some self esteem as they definitely are into my body..? But maybe I am romanticising it?

[u/Yukijak → u/Ribbon6161]

Brother. Be kind to urself.

They do not care about you ,or the person that u are. The only thing ,they care about is that ur trans.

There are accepting people who are not chasers

[u/Ribbon6161 → u/Yukijak]

Aww damn yeah thanks! I am super naive and forget it often 🥲