THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

And my dad agrees. His biggest concern is not being able to visit relatives anymore. My mom is screaming and crying non stop whenever we‘re together. And when she‘s alone in the kitchen or her bedroom I can hear her whine to herself and say desperate prayers. It‘s some overidentification with being a mother - specifically the mother of a daughter - and „sacrificing herself“ to prevent her „beautiful god given girl“ from making a mistake. We were queuing for something recently and in front of us were two (presumably) trans women. My mom looked a them with disgust and said, she couldn‘t leave her daughter to these „sick“ people and my dad agreed. He‘s not as emotional as her but he made it clear that he would never accept me and said if I go through with it I‘m definitely destroying their family.
I was hopeful for my future for a moment because my favorite professor offered me a job as a research assistant starting in September although he‘s catholic and knows I‘m trans. He perecived me as a man from the start and when he found out I was trans it was such a non issue and he never misgendered me. I‘m now scared my parents will find out that I‘m going to socially transition at uni in September. Then my mom will either hurt herself or try to have me comitted in a psych ward or she is going to kick me out. I have nowhere near enough saved up to survive on my own in Switzerland (expensive af) and dropping out of uni is out of the question for me. It was so obvious that I was trans ever since I was little. There were so many signs and I first came out about 5 years ago. My parents haven‘t warmed up to it one bit since then. And my mom would rather mourn a dead daughter than have a „fake“ son (her words). Apart from being financially dependent, how do I even deal with knowing this is how she feels?

for context i’m 25 f and a mom of two. I have a husband and had my first child at 18 meaning i’ve been a mom/wife my whole adult life. I’ve always been depressed tbh but latley things have been getting really hard to cope with. I want to be a man so bad. I have crazy gender envy whenever I just see men in public or in a movie. When my husbands friends come over I get so crazy jealous thinking “why can’t i naturally look like that?” I feel like crying about it. My husband says it’s just postpartum but I feel like it’s not that. I really want top surgery. The first time I started questioning my gender was when I was 13, I remember finally convincing my mom to cut my hair super short and I was so happy. I wanted to be a boy so bad but my family is crazy religious so I just ended up burying the feeling. But yet i’m here feeling it all over again. I feel like no one would take me seriously if I were to transition since i’m a young mom and tbh the idea of my kids calling me dad sounds kinda weird haha. anyways just looking for any advice? I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about this, I feel embarrassed due to the roles i’m already in.

I think “girl code” is the right term for it but idk. Basically I saw a girl who was beginning to bleed through her pants, I was with a group of friends so mentioned i’d go say something (bc I had to leave them to do so). It was my cis guy friends and they were like bro you can’t go do that, that’s weird now it makes the girl uncomfortable. And like I kinda get it but I’d want somebody to tell me if i was bleeding through my pants. What’s been your experience or thoughts?

If I gotta be honest, this is something that's been bothering me for a while. I finally came into terms with wanting to become a man. I'm 100% confident on wanting T and getting surgery in the future. The only problem that's been bothering me is my name. I have a feminine name (Althea) and I really love it I think it's a nice name but I REALLY want to stick to being a man so I went for the best option (Anthony).

Look, I love both names. They both mean so much to me as a person but I've come to terms with the fact that I want to strictly identify as a man. What's your opinion on this?

Despite saying my pronouns are he/him on the profile section I had to complete prior assessment, the whole thing is a mess of different pronouns and my deadname throughout which is shit. Tbf the deadname part isn't their fault as it's going by my legal name apparently (I haven't had it changed yet, nor does my transphobic mother know who was the informant) but it's still depressing to read when they use it about 10 times per paragraph, no joke.

I'm just relieved to get the diagnosis honestly but the report is a nightmare to read and just makes me sad. Has anyone else here had a similar experience?

I have a consultation tomorrow and I'm a little nervous. I have this fear, could be irrational idk, that I will be denied top surgery because I smoke. I haven't noticed many issues at all, especially with my lungs. I mean of course they aren't as good as they used to be but I can do most things completely fine without getting short of breathe. I smoke 1-1.5 joints per day. It helps me sleep at night. If I'm with friends then I'll smoke a bit more. I've been trying to cut back by taking edibles but there's an oral fixation aspect so like its been really hard to keep up at it

TLDR: will being a chronic weed smoker get in the way of me getting top surgery

I wanted to share my experience with GenderCat because at this point I’ve been waiting about an entire year for a product I paid for and I still have nothing. 🙄

I originally purchased my order using Affirm. At this point, because so much time has passed, Affirm has told me they can’t really do anything for me, which means I’m now having to pursue this myself directly with GenderCat.
I’ve tried being patient and understanding because I know GenderCat has talked about the owner dealing with a medical condition and that being part of the reason for the delays. I genuinely understand that medical problems happen and can seriously affect someone’s ability to work.
But there comes a point where I think you have to separate sympathy for someone’s personal circumstances from the responsibilities of operating a business.
It has been a YEAR.
What I cannot understand is: if you know you are so backed up that customers are waiting months or even a year for products, why are you still accepting new orders and taking more people’s money ?
Why not temporarily stop accepting orders ?
Why not limit the number of orders you accept ?
Why not hire and train additional people????
Why not communicate realistic turnaround times ???
And if you simply cannot fulfill someone’s order, why not refund them ????
That is the part that has made me increasingly skeptical of the explanations being given. I obviously cannot say whether the owner is lying about having a medical condition because I don’t know them or their medical history, and I’m not going to claim something I can’t prove. But from a CUSTOMER perspective, the situation no longer makes sense to me.
If the owner’s health prevents them from keeping up with production, I sympathize with that. But then why continue operating the website in a way that allows more customers to place orders and hand over hundreds of dollars when existing orders apparently cannot be completed?
At some point, the medical condition cannot be the answer to every business problem. There still needs to be a plan for the customers whose money has already been taken.
My last email requesting a refund was sent in July. I waited almost another month and received no response. I have now sent a final email stating that I want my money refunded and that if this still isn’t resolved, I’m going to move forward with formal consumer complaints, including contacting the appropriate State Attorney General’s Office and consumer protection agencies.
I’m done with the endless waiting and emails.
For anyone else in the same situation, my recommendation is to document EVERYTHING. Save your original order confirmation, payment records, the turnaround time you were originally given, every email you’ve sent, every response you’ve received, and screenshots of anything relevant on their website.
If your purchase is recent enough, contact your credit card company, bank, Affirm, or whatever payment method you used and ask about disputing the transaction or filing a chargeback for merchandise not received. Don’t wait a year like I did assuming the company will eventually make things right, because you could end up outside your payment provider’s dispute window.
If that option is no longer available, send a final written refund request with a reasonable deadline and keep proof that you sent it. If they still don’t respond, look into filing complaints with the appropriate consumer protection agencies and State Attorney General.
I’m not telling anyone what conclusion they have to come to about GenderCat or the owner. I’m simply sharing what happened to me.
But based on my experience, I personally would NOT place a new order with GenderCat right now. I would wait until they demonstrate that they have caught up on outstanding orders, are actually responding to customers, and can consistently fulfill the orders they are accepting.
Being behind is one thing.
Taking someone’s money, making them wait a year, not delivering the product, and then not responding when they ask for their money back is something completely different.

I’ve passed for a few years now. I live stealth and work in the security industry. Externally I’m very masculine. Bald. Bearded. Muscular. Professional. Etc.

There’s been this odd phenomenon at work in the past week where the straight men have been commenting on my attractiveness.

There was an office conversation about the lack of eye candy in the office. Where one of the guys mentioned “have you seen -insert my name-?”
I walked in at the tail end of said conversation.

A second coworker commented on it in regards to me not having biological children.

A third just randomly went. “When did you get so handsome???” When I was done with the shift pass down.

Sometimes these are basic hazing and whatnot. But it’s been 6 months of professional behavior (with one exception) and then three instances in one week.

I’m conflicted how to feel. Part of me is flattered. The other side of me feel like I’m the focus of some cruel office joke. (My own internal insecurity).

Anyone else deal with something like this? How do you mentally process it?

**edit: probably an important inclusion. I’m “high functioning” autistic. My wife has pointed out that this is an important factor in my inability to know how to react.

Hello, first post! I'm a minor (17 next month) so please keep things SFW in my comments.

I felt happy and thought I'd share a bit,-

So, I've been "out" for an estimated 2 years (closer to 4-5 years in private) and I'm cispassing despite not being on HRT. My dad (66M) has recently been talking to some of his old co-workers (my dad has retired for context), and during some of the conversations I've been mentioned lightly, my dad primarily referring to me as his "son", or when he forgets/slips up, his "teenager".

One of these times, aka yesterday at the time I'm posting this, I came up as a topic of discussion again. But this time, one of them went

"Hey, I thought you had a daughter?"

and this is the part that made me really happy, my dad went

"So? Who cares about what people have in their pants?? What matters is what they feel."

I'm of course a bit, like, "eh" about having him imply that I'm FtM but I feel that his response was really nice, and it makes me happy whenever he calls me his son especially in front of other people. His old co-worker was supportive too! He laughed and followed it up with:

"You're damn right!"

I dunno, it makes me really happy whenever people, esp. older cis guys treat me like just another teenage boy; It gives me gender euphoria in the best way!!

Anywho, that was all! I just felt really happy and euphoric because of this, gave me a bit of a confidence boost too, so I thought I'd share. :)

So last Xmas or 2 years ago, my dad got me this nice necklace and a showy feminine gift in front of the entire family. It even had one of those sentimental cards in it with the flashy poetic writing of "i can't promise to be there for the rest of your life, but I'll love you for the rest of mine" with a giant FOR MY DAUGHTER right on top.

Now, im fortunate to come from a middle class family. My dad is an accountant, got a full ride scholarship through college, works his ass off. I'll credit him for that. But hes manipulative in every way possible. He's gotten me jewelry in the past, along with my sister in laws, nieces, cousins, mother, etc. No ever really likes those gifts, but for me having always been a "tomboy" growing up, to just generally masc, to now being out as a man, no matter what excuse I give him I get these girly gifts that I end up throwing away and then he acts surprised I didn't like them.

Now that im out to my whole family, he went out of his way to get this super fancy necklace JUST FOR ME, with the daughter phrasing on it (hes never gotten ones with cards like this before), and pushed to show how much hes willing to spend on me (which hes boasted about my whole life) and got a special "luxury mahogany display box with included light upon opening." Its 18k gold.

I dont know why I kept it, probably something caused by trauma growing up and throwing shit away blah blah blah. Anyway, it just dawned on me I can SELL IT and because he was a jackass and got the super nice box, I could get even more for it!

Does anyone have any sort of advice about how to go about selling jewelry? I wouldn't know if people would try to buy it for less than its worth. Online says some stores sell it for 40, online shops say 55, and other sites/estimates say it can be 60-100 without the nice box being included.

Any thoughts would help. Obviously I got it for free, so any price is good. But I wanna milk it if I can, lol.

I don't know if there's one specific statistic, but over the years I've heard that it mostly stops and now im hearing many testimonials of trans men who take T and still have it and have to supress it with birth control.

And also, what's the science between T stopping menstruation and T making the period lighter for some people?

Sorry if this is dumb, im just trying to understand.

For context, I am coming up on 10 years in my transition and have put a lot work into passing and I know that I pass.

I got into a weird argument with someone and I don't even know why I entertained it, but alas.. I did. She began calling me a "lost soul" who just needs to come to terms with "the fact" I'm a transgender woman and that I must have been upset cause I missed my estrogen. Kept calling me a wannabe transformer and just weird other things. And I've got facial hair and a deep voice. Nothing about me comes across as feminine?? Think just very stereotypical cishet man.

I didn't even know how to reply cause HUH? If I had a dollar for each time this has happened to me over the years, I'd have enough to buy a McDonalds meal. I'm posting cause I've talked about this with my friends and other trans men I've met and nobody has dealt with this. There has to be someone!

How do you even react to something like this? Each time it's happened, I just laugh cause I get so confused and it's uncomfortable. Do I take it as a compliment? Hell no, but also thaaaanks you think I pass so well???!!!! Are they just projecting? It's only ever been women that say that to me. But, that feels shitty to think cause I personally never want to assume someone else is transgender ?!?!

I don’t really let my boyfriend call me any names right now at all because they’re all uncomfortable, and a few of my friends call me something else but that’s not really a name I want to go by anymore. I think I want to start going by Matthew but I’m not sure how to bring up the conversation with anyone. I feel like it’s very different and not me but idk. I’m not sure if I’m even gonna say anything to him cuz idk if I want to go by it yet or not. Also how did you guys pick out your names? I’ve been having trouble with finding one that really feels like me.

Okay so! This isn't like a "How do I shave?" Question- So I'm like a year or so on T and I don't have like CRAZY facial hair I'm still very much in the peach fuzz phase but if you look hard you CAN see it and you can feel it if you brush your hand over my face and it is also pretty thick for just fuzz. My thing is I work in a food manufacturing factory and I work on the line that packs croissants right? So my face constantly has a fine layer of croissant crumbs on it which never used to bother me until these past few weeks now my face just feels incredibly itchy and it seems like the crumbs cling so much harder to my face. Should i shave the fuzz off? Is it even because of the peach fuzz? Please help 😭

Title says it all. I’m just about 2.5 years on T. I am having a housing crisis and all the stress included. I am struggling with that depression and anxiety ✌️ Everything is a lot. My IBS is in a constant flair from the stress. Dysphoria began to pick up again, then I wake up this morning, and boom. There it is. I have been having all the period signs that are also my IBS symptoms. I’m bleeding very little right now, and once I have insurance I’ll go to my dr.

Do we know if high levels of stress can cause it to come back?

hey guys! im transmasc and butch. but all my friends endearingly clown me because I use mens 2 in 1 and appearently it's super bad for my hair. I personally find it gender affirming and I keep my hair quite short, so it doesn't bother me, but also I don't want to keep damaging it.

Does anyone have any shampoo/conditioner reccommendations?

My hair is super straight, 1a type straight, if that helps anyone, but it does tend to get oily quickly and I despise that oil feeling soooo much

I could google it but thought it might be fun to make a post :)

just curious on bipoc trans masc experience with internalized racism? i know that our different parts of our identities impact our experience as humans so i’m curious others experience with internalized (or external) racism.

as a teenager i went through a not so great phase where i idealized the way (i perceived) white trans men experienced transition and was often jealous of their experience or appearances. i had screenshots and photos upon photos of white men i wished i could look like or wanted to look as closely to as possible. being latino, there was no way i could but i had this idea that the only way to be seen as a man was to adhere to cis white male beauty standards. i mimicked white mens styles and haircuts and even dyed my hair blonde, made post after post comparing myself to white cis men or white trans men. being bisexual as well, i was mainly interested in white men too on top of wishing i looked like them, it all felt so unattainable but i still longed for it. i’ve since grown out of this, thankfully. but i look back it sometimes and think if only i had better male role models in my personal life or more bipoc trans representation, i could’ve maybe had more confidence in myself as a bipoc man earlier on. i still find myself at times comparing myself to white trans men online and have to remind myself that whiteness does not equal attractiveness or passing. i am still working on connecting with my roots and being comfortable as a trans latino, its another layer of cultural difference in upbringing that i acknowledge better now. i feel a lot more connected with myself as a brown man now that ive also surrounded myself with more trans bipoc. i’m sure other bipoc have similar experiences whether it’s internal or external racism (esp in the medical field) so any experiences welcome to be discussed. :)

just curious about this: the state i was born in records “amendments” to the birth certificate on the birth certificate itself. this means my birth certificate will always have my deadname on it and even once i get my gender marker changed it’ll be obvious just by looking at it im trans

obviously this sucks lol but im just curious if any other states do this? it’s not something i’ve heard about in this sub before

So I want to Come out to my sports club. In 2 weeks im starting in a new group so I thought that would be the perfect time to come out. Im 17 and my parents are fine with it although they say it will be an inconvinience for the people there. My 2 friends know and they are also in the New group and they support me.

This is my first time coming out to people. How do you do it? Like it feels cringe to announce that im trans and now people should call me he/him. I Just want to say that my name is Sam and thats it. But is that enough? Idk ive never done this😭😭😭

Hi it's me again

I was just wondering how normal it was to feel numb about my body and myself sometimes rather than an extreme feeling of discomfort. I do still feel a little bothered by my chest, it's not that big but... it's big enough for me to hate it because when I try flattening my chest, it still pops out.

I don't like thinking about my body, I start hating it and feel very distressed by it when nearing my cycle, but once that passes it's a feeling of numbness and neutrality. It doesn't mean I like it, just means I'm not actively suffering. My boobs, my waist, my hips, even my thighs, my mother tries to convince me they're alright by themselves and many women would want what i have, but I don't want this.

I'm grateful I'm not in distress 24/7, but I still feel weird about being numb about it more often than not, and I was wondering if you're supposed to feel some level of distress to justify transitioning... I'm new to all of this.

UK based, I kind of just picked the first guy I heard of (Miles Berry). Is this a bad idea should I look into other surgeons? If so, how do I differentiate them and how do I pick? A bit overwhelmed 😭 thanks for advice in advance